yes yes you know i'm so first of all welcome everybody welcome back it's on we're back it's nice to see you again after a hiatus we're back yeah i'm so glad you know it's a white tail day yeah no it's a great day it's a great day for politics um i have to inform you that um i have i fought jeff i went to his house with a baseball bat and i was like you cannot take over my spot i don't like that it's up to the people my best feet out of my hands if you want to take a poll right now no it was unacceptable i saw how beautiful's hair looked on the podcast i did not like that pecker is mad i did not like that at all he's a handsome man he gives he'll give any honk any heart to rob a run for it he's very handsome man and you had it was like you had jeff on who was like the looks and then you had mike who was like constantly talking about politics right it's just like what's going on no it's not what it looks like yeah leftovers i'm the one who's left over no no no i'm not there i'm like squiggler watching spongebob and patrick have fun never never never we can never replace you i want you to know right now jeff may be more handsome mike might be more yeah mike might have a political case than i do but but you are his son don't you understand that i do i can never replace you you himbo you beautiful himbo can we do a show like this it's just i like this well oh yeah by the way i just want to say the top of the show you know that huge uh bill got passed um the uh inflation reduction act and it was super nice that they earmarked another 20 billion for us for our studio defense yeah yeah you know that's the five billion dollars five parts of compromise and some really important things you know what i mean funding the police uh giving them more money and apcs uh and also our facility yeah i'm just so happy because i've been really wanting like um ai you know robot wars warfare robots to control the perimeter which we'll be able to get now yeah friend of the show i did a thing um came all the way out from australia to put a trap machine gun on a dog i don't know if you saw that uh we have those now he's been doing it yeah he got boston ms robot from michael reeves and strapped the fucking strapped mp5 onto it not 50 cal he should never have done that this is the word yeah i've seen it but yeah actually the point was he was making political commentary about how dangerous guns are they're they're good they're good boys no i'm saying this just uh this is like the beginning of half-life oh yeah but this has been done already too anyway the point is basically that we've put in order for like a thousand of these yeah don't even try yeah don't even don't even come near us we got that and they're so much better than the one he's been working on it they're better than the one in the video not way better yeah but we still have the battles too just to spray indiscriminately at people yeah yeah yeah so um anyway listen i understand your feelings got hurt let me see what you had some remarks to say about that let's pull it up leftovers is not happening tomorrow by the way because somebody decided to cut me out by the way what happened was we filmed on wednesday with panel mike and jeff they didn't want to do a lot yeah if you can believe that i can believe it and so we had to edit it on thursday so i really i did it for you because if we double posted nobody would have watched wow that's so much worse wow i didn't want to embarrass the leftovers then i would have been then it would have been like a direct comparison like people be like oh jeff the hotter one like he's definitely he's got it like that because i mean that episode has 1.5 million i mean you know don't actually i don't even know yeah to be fair well it's only like five days it's gonna it's gonna do really well yeah we get like a million dude pounded for that pretty good right i think so for corrupting the youth's mind with uh communism yeah with dark brandon i mean that's why he gave us 20 billion dollars to be honest because like we have been pushing the dark brandon agenda pretty hard i love it that the lives have reclaimed dark brandon meme i know but like i'm very conflicted on that because on the one hand dude there's so much i know i thought we have so much to talk about ethan there's so much has happened like maybe we should just skip the bullshit memes just get into it because there's no way we're gonna get through here let me watch this because you know i don't have a stream after i have a tv show that i'm filming with austin uh g4 no no it's nice g4 it's an austin show uh name your price so i do that later so that's why we can go like a little bit over we can end it exactly at 12 is what i'm saying what is the show it's on tv uh it's on g4 it's on g4 it's on g4 it's on g4 it's on g4 it's on g4 it's on g4 like olivia i think so yeah okay why are you flexing on me well it originally is just filmed on austin's channel on twitch so like i think it makes the tv if unless i make a lot of 9-11 jokes in which case from circulation which is fucked up yeah don't say anything about bombing any sort of no i didn't finish the sentence i'm just saying don't say that i'm talking about love bombing anyway in any case okay no no i was talking about explosives oh but i didn't finish my sentence so it should be fine i said don't talk about it and certainly don't obviously obviously i would never i'd never do that yeah i believe an individual citizen in this country has a right to own a nuclear warhead that's fine though that's a normal take that i don't know why people would never look at that and by the way it's on if you're going to be just steer clear of any mention of dan dan crenshaw's eye hole no i would not i would never do that thank you i would never do that i would never bring that up well let's just see where this goes i kind of like to see i like to see you guys all fight over me somebody decided to cut me out and instead uh you know do a super secret special podcast episode with someone who's hotter than me what's up yeah i don't have lower than 10% body fat like jeff does that's what's going on dude huh yeah shots fired i'm out here wearing fucking teddy fresh all goddamn day i know you know what shit that's so true jeff never wore teddy fresh that's right dude yeah fuck jeff yeah yeah jeff's no longer my bestie he's never worn teddy fresh just gonna come out wearing teddy fresh and then you're like it's on you're done you're out you're fucking out dude that would definitely push the needle for me but until then you love it look at look at your face you love it i'm just trying to have fun with it uh so so but you know okay let's go a little bit long um there's something i want to show at the top of the uh at the top of the show obviously um our news correspondent uh our new news who's hotter okay so okay well it's leftovers it doesn't count i don't know man that's pretty commanding okay that makes me feel good more of that everybody yeah there you go you see that makes me feel really good we all get we all feel good yeah yeah okay now do one with me hassan and jeff and be honest you got it i'm looking for that five percent yeah i mean i don't know i we'll see no no i'm serious i want to be really low for me it's your show no no no everyone knows i'm a beast and don't vote for me out of pity i'm serious don't be like oh i want to make him feel better because he says don't worry i'm fine i feel confident he wants to vote for out of pity he's saying don't do it no i just think it's funny if i get like two votes i'm fine with that but as the most popular here i saw this is important um we have a new news correspondent uh-huh uh biden looks lost appears ready for a handshake but he's already received it so this comes from our good friend air world news no way let's see now our great speaker our partner who all of these bills we've met oh my god look look at his face though the funniest part about this is like okay interesting oh oh joe forgot he got the first handshake yeah that's pretty bad no but i mean that's right but the funniest part about that is he goes you son of a bitch like but he goes i see how it is this guy has a five second memory hole what's going on here wait let me see this again because air world news is bringing some joe joe come on all right well let's hear his analysis let's go again we just watched now biden looks lost and appears ready for hand shake already received biden waiting hand shake from senate chuck schumer yeah and chuck schumer is seeing shake shaking hands with biden and three others then he walks back to the video biden wave his hand to shake hand with chuck schumer again right actually this video is circulating now on internet and social media i want to say honestly this video is not a someone oh is that right for his this video wait how is it not real is it fake news destroying misinformation i actually was worried for a brand in there for a minute but how did he fake that it looked real i mean he's got the scoop too because according to snopes it's unproven it's still up yeah i was about to say i was about to say you know even snopes is hitting with the unproven and those guys are libs so yeah i believe air world news this guy i don't know sky news australia covered it as though it actually happened can you okay can you show that clip because go down down this is from washington times opinion but that's yeah that's that's not a not exactly a reputable source for sure rnc no but let's let's let's watch this closely now this is important okay goes back now our great speaker our partner who all these that's fucking fake bro look at his face it looks like someone super implanted interesting we'll have to send this to the lab or lab here i don't know but this is literally an arab news world scoop if that is the case yeah that's breaking news he broke this um two days ago actually wow that's crazy that's actually crazy snopes they're ahead of snopes on this one dude that's our boy he's out there air world news shout out why he says it's fake okay then watch also the video what what's wrong with this one this video is fake oh he's saying this video is fake yeah okay i'm sorry well it has cuts in it yeah right maybe he's talking about this video being fake and not the previous one no no maybe no no no no he's saying the previous video he's saying the previous video is fake he's saying this is evidence but this one has cuts in it dude so it's a little bit that's a we'll have him we'll have a w though i think he's right congratulations you're all the noise out there we know there are those who focus more on seeking power yeah and secure in the future excuse me yeah and secure in the future yeah of course and i did like it but i'll leave a comment and i knew this was fake thank you bro for spreading the truth we love you anything i add i'm good that's perfect yeah okay so so shout out i mean he's the best arab world news friend of the show actually yeah yeah i did make contact with him actually and um we may have an appearance on the show sometime in the future here oh yeah yeah we yeah we make contact he said he's too shy at the moment to call in live because his english isn't good enough but it's all good he was very gracious about it though he was going to work on his english and he would hope to uh to come on soon so speaking of friends of the show ninja cotton candy g fuel that's that's all you know we call him here hey you know whose flavor cotton candy used to be keemstar yeah no way that's so funny oh you didn't know about this arc this character no ninja ninja came out with the cotton candy flavor a few months ago and keemstar had a meltdown he's like bro you should have asked me for permission before you dropped that what does he think he owns the ip around cotton candy he does he actually does that's insane hussein hussein i don't know how to say your name yeah so anyway uh hassan is upset i'm sorry we are besties well you're ninja no i have no issues with ninja no not ninja i mean i'm just recapping um here is mike praising you though and this gave me pause because mike is one of my new best friends and yeah see oh i'm hotter than jeff no no stop it but you still crush me obviously i think i think you are i think we're both hotter than jeff now i was hoping it'd be like two percent all right whatever get it it's not funny yeah we're i think we are um you know you guys are building bridges and i didn't even realize that bridge was there to build with me and me and big mike he's a good guy um he has a nice thing to say about my entertain debate on the impulsive podcast he's a good man that that mike in fact you know what but you know what's wrong with impulsive i would say at this point too much um logan paul i think if we could just turn up the mic turn down the logan that would probably be a hit podcast i don't want to say that because i think i'm gonna be on their podcast soon so i'm gonna go ahead and say no i think it's just enough logan paul on there that'd be great for you to go on there yeah he's a good guy he's changed you know he's a new man just don't mention dink okay oh yeah that's true oh my god but i do there are things i do respect about paul's i've said it before um and this is not because i may or may not be going on the impulsive podcast um that uh i mean i respect that they have you know trained a lot jake paul is oh yeah i have like actual yeah i have actual mixed martial artist friends who are trainers who respect his uh dedication and effort i like that uh logan paul's doing the wwe thing those are pursue your passions absolutely unless like you know doing pranks and stuff in which case don't if you're passionate or pranks don't do that and pursue the wrestling thing instead play the same song just because it's very it is passionate that's logan paul's thing and that's passionate song i'm just saying oh my god there's a lot of heart now oh my god i don't want to kill his song's chance you're you're killing me no i don't want you kill my chances i'm dead now i'm a motherfucking stop stop we're not gonna ruin this for his song all right let's see what he had to say oh this is cool i wonder what he's trying to promote here i like i think those guys dms me is that what is that like their drink or something like him in ksi yeah yeah they were like oh love to send you like crates or something i don't know what the fuck this is what is it like a gatorade thing okay i haven't tried it but it's out there do a taste test i mean it's kind of hard to get right at this moment i mean i would do a taste test yeah because they're fucking sending me crates that's why apparently there's any influences free ones apparently it's doing very well but you know i love how he's just like there's no fucking branding color but it's just prime black and white yeah well he knows he knows how he knows how to do it oh wait hold on cameron you've tried a prime yeah the blue one okay what do you think it's pretty good i hate it actually let's go cameron yes yeah it's great it's delicious we love prime okay no i would never want you to lie to me and um how does it compare to a drink like gatorade uh i think it's better than gatorade yeah yeah gatorade is down to be honest gatorade you're dropping about it's too salty and it's too sweet yeah it's been awfully quiet since prime dropped yeah that's what i was thinking go ahead cameron i'm not actually now i don't fucking care i mean i like it tastes more natural and it's pretty good and i'm not getting i like it you heard it from cameron folks okay quick gatorade question for you this is very controversial in my community sure not known for controversies for any other reason um you think you can fit a gatorade in that's not what i was gonna say but probably um so i am I'm an advocate for warm Gatorade. Room temperature Gatorade. Room temperature? I'm a room temp Gatorade fan.
I think it brings out the flavor better. I think ice cold Gatorade tastes different than room temp Gatorade. I never thought of that before, but I'm with you on it, 100%. How are you going to back them up and never even try it?
No, I've had it, but I just never put two and two together. So do you microwave your Gatorade? What are you doing to get out? No, just don't put it in the fridge.
Oh, so you're talking about room temp Gatorade? Yeah, room temp Gatorade. It's not warm Gatorade. It's hot Gatorade.
Well, you just, that's just, I don't know. You're right, I shouldn't have said that. Are you saying you like it better, Hassan? Or are you just saying it's different?
I prefer room temperature Gatorade to ice cold Gatorade. They do have a different taste. I think it depends on the flavor too, though, to be honest with you. You can't just change it up.
You can't just change it up. Because warm red Gatorade is dog shit. Yeah, I hate red. I don't like, I'm not a big fan of red anyway.
I'm not a big red guy. I'm a blue guy all the way. White too, white's really good. I don't know what that one is.
You're bringing the polarization to our community because our whole chat's like 50-50 on this. I don't have strong opinions about Gatorade, to be honest, but room temp is fine with me. It caught and threw me off. But every time I drink Gatorade recently, it's so fucking salty and sweet.
It's like putrid, man. I can't fuck with it. When I was a kid, I hit that shit all the time. I only drink zeros anyway, so.
Oh, zeros. Yeah. Good, yeah. Good.
I got time to add calories for Gatorade, you know? What's your body fat at? I don't know. I have no idea, but it's too high.
It's not low enough. Yeah, it's not. No, of course it's not low enough. On my weight loss journey, I'm at 252 pounds, the lowest I ever hit this week, which is really good, because I started off at 285 when we were doing like, there was around last year when I first started losing weight in training again.
You lost 30 pounds since we started? So far, yeah. And there's a lot of recomp in the first half of the year, where I was like doing muscle mass again, but I'm not at, I'm trying to hit like, once I start hitting like 240, I'll start posting shirtless photos. Okay, that's what we're all waiting for.
Yeah. And then the goal is to hit 230. And eventually OnlyFans, right? No.
Oh, come on, bro. I'll do a hot tub stream before I do OnlyFans. I'll probably watch. Start there, get your feet wet, so to speak.
Yeah, yeah. Would you show your dick on OnlyFans for a million bucks a month? No. No, not for money.
For free? For clout? Like, I think the, I mean, I don't need to make more money, right? I make enough of it as it is, but I don't know.
I just, I have body dysmorphia. It's hard for me to do OnlyFans. I talked about this on my podcast with Eva Elfie. You know who that is?
I saw that clip, yeah. Yeah. And they were like, why don't you do OnlyFans? I was like, I have too much body dysmorphia to be able to do it.
Right, right. Like, it takes a lot. Wait, what's the OnlyFans lawsuit, Dan? OnlyFans, oh, can this be true?
I saw this. I was like, no fucking way. OnlyFans bribed Meta to put thousands of porn stars on a terror watch list. There's no fucking way that's true, bro.
I don't know. Because that would require Meta, which is Facebook, and OnlyFans to be so corrupt to make this happen. Right, well, it's not alleging Meta itself, but specific employees at Meta. Like, they bribed individuals that work there.
And what's the advantage to putting porn stars on a terror watch? Well, it's ones that weren't on OnlyFans, that were on, like, competitors' websites. And this is all just alleged, by the way. And again, what's the benefit of doing that?
The drive-out competition from other, you know, subscription adult websites like OnlyFans. Yeah, but how does putting them on a terror watch do that? Because their posts would get flagged and removed. What I also don't understand is, like, they already fucking blacklist most porn stars.
The shadow ban porn stars. There's a porn star shadow ban on all Meta platforms anyway. Oh, Meta, yeah. Yeah, so I don't understand what OnlyFans was doing there.
Oh, you're talking about their Facebook groups get, like, terrorist tagged? Yeah, or their Instagram page or stuff like that. This is kind of wild. This is what the lawsuit is.
I don't know. Accusing them of, yeah. Kassan did a very good job with him by debating him using facts and statistics. Fact and logic.
Can you say what's on his takes on? I mean, he has takes on women driving, and he has... I think that's all he said, right? Yeah, then he just, like, talks about the debate itself.
Like, he just, like, describes it and how I owned him and stuff. But, yeah, no, he was a good, nice little... Shout out, Mike. Great guy, man.
Yeah, shout out to Mike. Shout out, Mike, man. That's a good dude right there, man. Yeah.
That's a good dude. I mean, Andy Tate is so bad, even fucking Jake Paul looks good in consideration. Yeah, yeah. Jake had this rare W.
I think I know what he's doing, though, because Jake did this whole thing about, like, fucking Andrew Tate, and I'm pretty sure he's just trying to bait him for a fight. Because I was like, why... I don't think Jake would fight him. I think Jake just wants to fight with whoever would watch it.
I think for sure he would. Here's the thing. I was like, why is Jake saying this? He is, like, more in the Tate zone than not, probably, like, philosophically.
Oh, yeah. And so, I think he's trying to bait him, but here it is. It's funny that Top G is a fanboy. He runs this whole thing like, what color is your Bugatti?
Andrew, like, it's not cool to tell kids that they need a Bugatti to be cool. Andrew Tate's fans are fucking Jake Paul. That's pretty funny. Jake Paul's saying that is so funny.
Yeah, the dude literally made a song called, All I Want For Christmas Is My Jake Paul Merch. Remember that? Yeah, but that's different, because, like, you do get pussy with that. That's true.
Yeah, that's like, are you kidding me, dude? When I was 20 years old, dude, and I was rocking my Jake Paul Merch. No, I'm kidding. I'm not even going to make that.
Team 10! It's like, we're broaching Keemstar territory. Keemstar's, like, listening in. He's like, yeah, no, that's what I did, actually.
That's how I found all of my girlfriends. I mean, he's still rocking his Team 10 shit at this moment. That's how he pulled his current one. I don't even, does Jake Paul still look like a young audience?
I feel like he's old now. But he doesn't make content, right? He just fights people now. Yeah, he just fights people directly.
They're all virgins. And they're watching him to try to get laid, but they're going to get spit on and slapped by a girl. That's what's going to happen. Okay, I mean, he's right, obviously.
But I think Andrew Tate is actually already fading. His star is already fading. I think everybody is over him, and his disappearing phase has already begun. Dude, my man did one fucking debate where there was a little bit of pushback, and he just fell off the map.
It is wild. I don't know how the fuck that happened. Like, it seemed like, I mean, it's plateauing. Like, as of that debate, it has started to plateau.
It hit the peak. I feel that you can directly take credit for his demise. I mean, I'm trying to have another conversation with him to dive a little bit deeper into his businesses, but I don't know if he's down to do that anymore. I think he's, like, he's already too busy, like, doing shows with his brother, because that was just news to me.
No, I am a heterosexual man, and also I do not deny the Armenian genocide. Oh, yeah, yeah. Are you sure? Because, I don't know, I saw Andrew Tate say that you do.
Well, he is a very credible narrator, so. Well, by the way, so you can see, here's his Google Trends. It's dipping, bitch. Your time is up, you little fucker.
Watch this shit dip down. I mean, we'll see. Well, he positioned himself for that. He was literally like, well, now we're entering the second phase of my Bougali-Wilber plan with the Woolroom.
Anyway, we don't have to do another fucking episode on Andrew Tate, man. I know, we've covered it endlessly. I'm sure your fans are also. Well, I just have to ask him on his proverbial credit a little bit.
Someone told me that he went from 100K on Hustlers University to 60K, though. That doesn't surprise me. I mean, what the fuck are they getting out of that? I mean, I could also see that being just a cut of all the bots or something.
I mean, Discord was like, yeah, there's a lot of bots on the server. We should... Oh, the Discord got cold. I mean, I don't know.
I've never been a believer that he had 100,000 active paying, you know, $50 a month paying people in his community. Yeah, that's very helpful. But, you know, the other thing, we've got to hold your feet to the fire a little bit here today, because Hassan, you've been claiming that you have a normal-sized head. Oh, here we go.
Years and years and years and years. And just from the last step we did. Small head and it's a lie. We're here to address the lies, folks.
I have to pee real quick before we do this. Go ahead, we'll get ready. Okay, get the calipers. Bust out the calipers.
Yeah, so Hassan has... We're going to put this to the grave once and for all. Hassan insists that he has a normal-sized head. There's the meme, of course, that he has a tiny head.
And so what we have purchased in preparation is a dome measuring caliper. Yes, sir. And so what we're going to be doing today is a head-to-shoulder ratio. We're going to take the measurement of the head and the shoulder, divide the shoulder by head, and see, you know, where we sit in the percentage.
Do you want to do you so we can compare? Sure, yeah, let's do it with me. So you're going to do... So how does this work?
You do, like, the thickest part? Exactly. Okay, so... So, ladies and gentlemen, Dan is, um...
He is placing the calipers. Carefully, carefully. Very carefully. All right, Olivia?
Hold on, hold on, hold on. You're sleepy. Okay, wait. Ow, ow, ow, ow.
It's a spiky. Okay. Okay, what do we got? Almost, almost exactly six inches.
Ow! Six inches. Six inches. That's what she said.
Ow. Okay, now let's get the shoulders. Ow. What are we going to do about this?
Go ahead. Now, I don't think I have a large head in general. I think I have probably a... 22 inches.
Okay, so, Hassan, I'm at six inches. Now, it doesn't matter the front, you know what I mean? But I don't even know how to calculate that. I mean, yeah.
It's like, this is not even real skull science. I don't even know how to do the real one. So is it better to have a big dome? Is that the skull science?
For the record, I don't even know. I don't know what it is. The only phrenology I believe in is a cop phrenology I believe in concept called cop skull. That, you know, you're assigned cop at birth, okay?
And, you know, you can overcome it. And some people do. Not many do. But that's the reason why they look so thumb-like, all cops.
Okay, that's interesting. Now, hold on. Now, so I was six inches by what? Are you going to move the cop first or are you going to measure my shoulders?
One sec. What's my head-to-shoulder ratio? Six to 32. 22.
22. 22 divided by six. Six divided by 22. Six divided by 22.
No. 0.7 repeated. So, okay. So I've got 0.7.
Is that like 70? Is that right? 0.27. 0.27.
Okay, so my head is 27% the length of my shoulders. Okay, Hassan, now the moment of truth. I'm legitimately tense right now. You've never done this, though.
This could be a defining moment for you. The thing is, you do have very broad shoulders. So, this... Yeah.
Yeah, get it down. It's literally... It's probably into my skull, currently. It's, like, hurting me right now.
Ow! Okay, bro. You're taking that in there. That's how you know it's good.
He's doing the same to me. Oh. Just a tiny bracket under six as well. Wait!
Whoa! You do have a tiny head! Wait, really? But his shoulders are way wider.
Well, that was the point. My point is that... My head is a normal-sized head, except for the fact that my shoulders are too wide. You can't say it's normal-sized when you're, like, 6'4".
I mean, what is normal-sized? Do you think, like, skulls? Do you think skulls fucking... Well, it scales with your body, no?
No. 29. It doesn't? You think Andre the Giant had, like, a fucking six-inch wide dome?
I mean, I guess maybe. I don't know. Maybe. Well, okay, so...
Mine was 27%? Yes. Are we doing exactly six for this one, or are we doing 5.9? Yeah.
No, say six. Just you. 6. 29.
20%. Or if we round up, 21. 21% head to shoulder, and what was mine? 22.
I know. I know my shoulders are broad. I think... I have a normal-sized head, and my shoulders are broad.
You do have very broad shoulders, but I gotta say... Small head mean proven. No, it has not. Okay.
Yeah, I've proven it here today. What if you have... What if your head is looking big for your shoulders? How about that?
I think you've got a lot of length here, because this hat fits me fine. I have a small... I think I have a smaller head, usually, but I think we've got to measure front to back. Maybe you want to try that, just to redeem him a little bit.
You want to do a front to back measurement? I mean, maybe. I see you? Yeah, just to redeem him, I don't want him to feel bad about having a tiny head or anything.
Jesus Christ. You have it all. What is the normal percentage, I wonder? Like, what's the...
We are literally doing, like, incel science right now. Like, we are doing for knowledge. This is important. Don't discount.
Absolutely. So we're going to get a front to back measurement. I think this is where you're going to shine. I don't know.
This is where you're going to shine. Dig that in there, Dan. He's digging it. You got to try.
7 inches in 87th, 128th? What the fuck does that even mean, number-wise? I can reduce this bracket a little bit. I mean, that's about the order.
That's, yeah, I mean, that's almost 8 inches. Damn, bro. You're packing 8 inches? Yeah, I'm packing 8 inches from the back.
Okay, see, I don't think I'm going to show as impressively. Go ahead. At the thickest part, please. Don't hit on the thickest part.
At the thickest part of the shaft, please. Okay. There's an interesting variant here. Wait, you didn't...
What is it? Here's the thing. You have a very sloped forehead, I'm realizing, Ethan. What the fuck are you trying to say?
I'm just... It's kind of Neanderthal-shaped. Just a little bit. There's no way to do the offers and not...
Oh, you can't get the full circumference? There's no way to hit this without... Here, here, how about just... Ow, damn, bro!
Trying to lobotomize me? No, he did. He's trying to get brain matter out of my head. Wait, why is that so sharp?
Why does it have to be so sharp? It is dangerously sharp. You can... That's for automotive shit.
Oh. It doesn't have feelings. So... That's what culture came for.
It's all science. Give it a little extra... Give it a little extra to compensate for my, as you call it, chromagnum. No, because you're squishing it.
You've got to give me a little extra girth. Yeah. Wait, it's slant. You gave me extra girth?
Digging into my forehead. Just be precise, okay? Because this is important science. Yeah, you're going to have to pull it out a little bit.
What the fuck? What? I've got a slow point. Dude, look at the screen.
What are you doing right now? Oh, my God. I don't know what you mean. It looks normal to me.
Now I've got Ethan hands. Seven and a half. So you've got a mighty length on here. I have a longer dome than you do, I guess.
Damn, you're packing eight inches, dog. Seven and a half is pretty good, too. What do you mean? Yeah, right.
No, that's a hog. Can you make my hands bigger, please? Yeah. We don't have the technology.
We can develop that. Oh, no. What if I hold it all here? Would that help?
I'll get it in the lab. I'll try. I don't know if it's possible. All right, forget it.
Okay. How do we feel now that we've measured the dome? I have a newfound insecurity now. I'm kidding.
I feel like the takeaway is actually that I feel like we debunked the small head. Did we? Yeah, because you guys have almost the same size head. It's all about the ratio, though, as you said.
Okay, but I would think that Hassan's head would be bigger than mine, right? I mean, technically, it is bigger than yours. It's just not, like, wider than yours. So it's about the same here, and it's a little longer, a half inch longer on the back.
Yeah. Life is a game of inches, Ethan. I mean, that's where it counts. You know what I mean?
Hi, I'm Dick Jeff. Okay, well, let the people interpret it. People are going to continue with the matter regardless, which is fine. I mean, it's all good.
It's funny. I have small hands. You've got a small dome. Yeah, I, um, but I've always known that I have a, you know, a very, I don't know.
I've never been insecure about that ever. I have brush holders. It's not bad. It's just a gag.
I think nobody thinks that. You're a beautiful man. Thank you. Okay.
I need to hear that. You hear that, Jeff? He's calling me beautiful. Jeff's a beast.
Jeff's a beast. But he has a perfectly sized head for his perfect body. You don't know that. He's got a lot of hair.
It might be big. It might be he's got a big head, which you don't want that. either really i feel like having a bigger head is better right now like actors have well i guess not sebastian gork has a gigantic home he looks like shit i'll be honest i can do this with like people women and men sometimes have massive heads it's a little bit it's intimidating a lot to do it's a lot to take in you're like what i can't look at your entire face at once like what's happening you're like yeah there's like a whole race of people i feel like that are like just big-headed yeah like a different thing going on there but let's get on let's move on the show we've already wasted well i won't say wasted 20 minutes already folks oh wait more than that yeah it's almost 40 minutes oh 40 oh we don't match today do we uh no they're stealing it all right so let's talk about what we're all super excited to get to today trump got raided we love it and i gentlemen we got him can i just say uh i want to give a quick shout out to the boys of the blue our law enforcement community our officers our leos the u.s postal service blue lives matter blue lives matter thin blue line nobody's ever talking about what happens to cops out there it's really hard to be running around when you're you know when you got heart disease thank you thank you thank you thank you i want to fund the fbi further fund the fbi that's right that's right we love our we love our law enforcement you know who doesn't marjorie taylor green yo that that woman is such a fucking beast man yeah they are i mean here i'll put so much to say about marjorie taylor green she's just such a fucking piece of shit that goes hard though you know first of all it's the shameless grifting for me um it's like she didn't waste a second to try to fundraise off this defund the fbi how is that even a real thing you want to defund the entire fbi i'm fucking so on board like it'd be great fuck it fbi do something useful they do definitely even even like all federal so even ice uh to a certain degree has like a sex trafficking division and kidnapping division so like no matter which federal agency you're talking about of course there's gonna be like like a fraction of the resources are gonna go to like combating real crimes and shit and of course the fbi does a decent work in uh in that field as well but over an overwhelming sea of incompetence um so i feel like of all the uh governmental law enforcement bodies i feel like the fbi is the most legit i mean there's a lot of federal crimes like money laundering stuff financial crime shit like that is all being investigated investigated by the fbi i just wish you did more of that like that's i'm in agreement they're doing that you don't like besides raiding trump so no i love that honestly that was great fucking awesome more um that more of that please and also throw hillary clinton in there throw her in the pile you know what i mean i'm such a centrist on that well hold on they were investigating her yeah they did throw she was already in the pile i know but they couldn't arrest her because they didn't steal classified documents yeah well again you know make it work i'm just saying make it work christopher ray you fucking fake friend you got appointed by donald trump that they say that doesn't matter yeah yeah um yeah so so what is it that does that you don't okay so one of the things well first of all the fbi historically uh is started off as a white supremacist institution i think the original inception of the fbi is quite literally around like the white woman trafficking act and like uh basically trying to use the federal authority a federal agency to combat black people consensually having uh interracial relations with white women the the famous boxer that was exonerated by trump actually like posthumously pardoned by trump is one of the first examples of that so it it has its roots in white supremacy obviously but uh even contemporary i mean they played a role in the execute they literally executed fred hampton uh and numerous other uh black leaders um obviously uh tried to get martin luther king to kill himself okay uh so there's and then may or may not have played a role in that as well may or may not have played a role in the assassination of malcolm x as well so the fbi historically has always been an arm of white supremacist terror okay all right okay infiltration of black organizations uh you know labor uh pro-labor organizations they play a role in red scare propaganda that's impossible but even in contemporary yeah i was just talking about contemporary because that's all i mean it's all relevant right but we're talking about stuff from like the 50s and shit in contemporary uh history uh even under the obama administration certainly under the george w bush administration and even under trump the fbi played a fundamental role in oppressing and and engaging in mass surveillance of muslims uh in the united states like in the wake of 9-11 yeah one of their most common practices was to go and find um like autistic or or like you know mentally uh disabled muslim teenagers on the internet and then give them and then coerce them basically into doing a terror plot and then foil that terror plot so they could be like look terror is all around us muslim terror is really terrifying uh and we did a great job stopping it and of course a similar thing that they did with gretchen whitmer kidnapping situation i don't know if you remember that it was kind of identical to that but instead but this time it was white people so like obviously uh you know that was more publicized but when it's a muslim teenager that's like autistic like no one gives a shit but uh the fbi did a lot of that like the majority i think of the terror plots they foiled were uh terror plots that they themselves had facilitated uh supplied logistics for um oh here's an article the unlikely jihad he pressured a lonely young man into a bomb plot he tried to back out now he's serving life in prison that sounds fair that sounds like a good story yeah that's so that's a pretty common practice for the fbi um it sounds like there's some really god-awful like divisions i think what happens in and stuff like that is in the wake of 9-11 they have this directive from like the president top down it's like we need to investigate terrorism and show the american public that we're catching foil and terrorism and then they end up like with these crazy guys they're like we gotta make the terrorism ourselves and then catch it so that that is bad yeah that's bad yeah so let's keep on them so i'm on board uh you know bring it down to its bare bones and only do this like only trafficking sex crimes homicides financial crimes financial crimes political crimes political crimes absolutely that's a lot let's arrest like arrest politicians every every couple of weeks just like throw a politician in jail like i think that would be cool yeah that would really beef up their numbers i think that would really improve their approval rating amongst like the american public is like nobody congress approval rating is 17 oh my god dude you know what i mean this is a really interesting comment from me mini lindsey she says hi i'm a larry nasser survivor he was the olympic gymnast co another great example of the uh fbi uh that's what she's going to do the fbi knew larry was abusing little girls for nine months and let larry see 70 new patients while taking bribes from the us ag we're currently suing them for a billion dollars wow yeah if i would be fucking that's fucked up yeah that's horrible so there's plenty there's plenty that they don't do and they should do and then there's plenty that where they do a lot where they shouldn't it's just they're federal cops so of course just like the police force like i uh as much as i criticize police force i understand the necessity for some like organization some unit that maintains the presence of law and order there's a necessity for you know people to solve crimes detectives and whatnot and so i understand that but they don't really do that and that's kind of what we're angry at with respect to all my criticisms of the police and the fbi is just a you know police on steroids okay so basically what we've done is that the conservatives now have gone awful circle become radical leftists defunding the police so that's that's actually terrific we're on board with that they've always had like an anti-atf streak like old school um the old school libertarians old school conservatives like used to hate kind of hate the fbi as well like reason.com libertarians you know um so i'm glad they're going back to their roots well let's start from the beginning so yeah a couple days ago uh fbi agents raided trump's house at mar-a-la-la-go and took uh took a few baskets of documents they also broke into a safe they're not breaking into a safe they had a warrant that specifically uh had to have dictated that the safe was accessible yeah but they accessed the safe which is not easy to get a warrant for no it is not it's a it's a it's a different search warrant that you need to get like for example when you do when you execute a search warrant normally and you go into a house and there's a safe oftentimes they'll hold up the they'll hold up the raid they'll stop it and wait for a secondary warrant to come in specifically for that safe um part of the reason why i mean this was a beefy warrant right right and the reason why that's important is because you can't get a beefy warrant like this unless you have someone on the inside that is turned that is turned face witness and that's the speculation is that someone um with access to this level of knowledge within the trump circle um offered this this information that like uh these classified documents were being held inside a trump safe otherwise they would not be able to get that warrant it's hard to imagine like this person who knocked on him must be i mean imagine how close you have to be to know what's in his safe the classified documents he stole i mean that's got to be fairly close proximity but regardless what really happened now that we know a few days have passed is that when he was president when he was leaving the white house he basically just grabbed a fuckload of classified documents and sold them he at one point returned them at the request of the national archive and fbi but he didn't return all of them he kept some and it's speculated the ones he did keep because the fbi obviously went to a great lengths to get them back were fairly sensitive important documents that he stole you can imagine he stole for a reason right yeah so the fear and i think that this is a pretty reasonable uh fear to have if you are the fbi or if you are like uh you know working inside one of these federal agencies given trump's track record of like operating out of mar-a-lago and what that presents as a matter of like a security concern as a matter of national security because mar-a-lago is a country club they are not vetting every single person that's within proximity of donald trump and donald trump literally throughout his presidency got into trouble for conducting business presidential business in mar-a-lago around foreign nationals um so that was uh that was like serious problem for them there was even incidents of like random people or there was like a chinese spy remember that who got into mar-a-la-lago yeah well also marie but you famously uh a russian spy marie but you famously went all the way up as well so they didn't have to use mar-a-lago just use the regular lobbying arm of the nra but um so my point was that uh it's understandable they would be worried that this kind of classified material is still in possession of the former president normally as a matter of courtesy presidents basically hand off uh declassification to the next president that comes in or sorry uh the new president basically says you can still have uh like some level of uh you can still say some level of like in the know as a former president which biden uh unceremoniously did not offer to donald trump citing uh national security concerns so that's another reason why like trump cannot have possession of these classified documents um but like i said i i hope that there is more to it than just like mismanaged files right unfortunately i think that's it i don't think anything else is gonna come with it well then then republicans gonna make uh mince me out of this they're gonna do because they gotta make up their mind is this like a civil war grab or is this just like he has these documents ever since watergate we passed a law saying that every presidential document has to be saved and filed with the national archive by law okay and so trump while he was in the white house was tearing up documents he was even flushing documents like what the fuck and now he's stealing documents they begged him to return it and after exhausting all civil options trump that was basically the only way left to get the documents is go to mar-a-lago and take them from what i can tell i think that's it dude um i hope that there is a more to it than that and it like somehow links back to january 6 because there's a secondary investigation uh on uh donald trump's involvement that january 6 committee is looking at um they also seized the phone of uh a uh of a congressperson from pennsylvania including five additional people in the state legislature i believe in pennsylvania with direct links to january 6th and they were communicating with donald trump and the the uh the congressperson's phone that was seized the pennsylvania republican representative scott perry um he was talking with the trump white house uh in the months leading up to january 6th about the insurrection and he's like a freedom caucus guy he's like a tea party guy so you know big big libertarian they didn't take computers or phones or anything from trump today i don't think so no they only took his phone one day after the raid so i'm hoping that like there is that guy did take trump's phone no they took his phone that's what i'm saying they didn't take any electronics from trump no they did not they did not and trump of course uh pled the fifth in a testimony yesterday which is great yeah as he once famously said multiple pull up uh he says who would take the fifth other than a criminal um i mean he's right right yeah but he's morally consistent on that one he's right on the nose with this one here check this out trump god he looks like shit here bro what the fuck is that looks like a cadaver like a re-handling he's not looking his best self that's like an open casket funeral showing fuck me that sucks look how beautiful he was in 2016 yeah he was well he doesn't have his makeup on so he'll come back again stronger than ever before yeah check check this out guys you see the mob takes it if you're interested why are you taking the fifth amendment for president trump indeed what's the fifth he wants to answer questions from the ag and indeed invoked his fifth amendment rights taking the fifth i think it's disgraceful you see the mob takes it we got him what a fucking loser actually you know what he's not the loser the people that like him are losers i mean people that like him are yeah such a sucker dude this man the con artist like how much more clear does it need to be i did a whole like someone found a bunch of uh hogs on tiktok talking about like how you know they're terrified of like the fbi coming after them now and they're terrified of 87 000 new iris agents yeah and they think like these iris is gonna come in with guns and like you know kill them or something because they're conservative which is awesome i love that they like live in a state of panic all the time um but uh you know the attitude from the most radicalized trump supporters is that like this is civil war folks it's like it's happening um one of my favorite takes on it was again from like on the donald there was like some fucking random guy who was talking about how like get your guns ready civil war is coming you know i'm ready for this i can't wait for this or whatever and then he self-talks and said i'm currently under trial i'm under you know my trial for january 6 is coming up in a month and it's like bro why did you willingly hand over that information to like random people on the internet on a public fucking forum i'm ready for war right when i got out of prison for insurrection and two yeah like what it's wild he's like he just wants to do more of the thing that he's currently about to go to jail he says when you let me out i will do the same thing i got arrested for yeah it's like the alex jones trial you know what i mean like is that like defaming the judge on a defamation trial it's so fucking good but this is important a lot of people say asson why are they doing this like why are they so stupid and it's not just idiocy that guides them to be this way i think the secondary uh the the secondary reason or maybe the primary reason other than how stupid they are because of course they're stupid is the entitlement conservatives love to act like the police force and the fbi and these institutions are totally colorblind and actually uh do not uh do not oppress the marginalized communities right until until they are treated like someone who is not above the law in which case they immediately give the giveaway that's why they're freaking out like it's the greatest crime ever perpetrated yeah the very same people that were defending the police on a no-knock warrant on uh brianna taylor's house yeah the very same people turned around and said like this is worse than anything anyone's ever done this is uh civil war this is civil war before they even knew why the fbi did it which is so great this is civil war this is unacceptable this is so cruel and so unusual so humiliating it's like what do you mean you don't even know what happened why it happened speaking of brianna taylor the development in that has been absolutely chilling dude like it's even worse so they arrested the cops finally and the details that came out was that like they straight up fabricated the warrant because there was some conspiracy to try to get black people to move out of this apartment building because there was like a new developer that wanted to move in i mean it's so fucked up yeah i mean it's uh it's it's it's not any different than anything i've ever advocated for especially considering the role that police play as an arm of capital they are still very much protecting and serving the interests of capital Well, so anyway, let's get back on the timeline. So he gets raided.
It's big news. And then he kind of actually breaks the news with his truth social post. Statement by Donald Trump, 45th president of the United States. I love it.
These are dark times for our nation, our beautiful home, our logo in Palm Beach, Florida, is currently under siege, raided, and occupied by a large group of FBI agents. Nothing like this has ever happened to a president of the United States before. That's true. But, again, what they draw from that is not that Donald Trump is so corrupt that this has never happened to anyone else.
It's that the whole institution of the FBI is so corrupt. It's interesting how they do that. After working and cooperating with the relevant government agencies, this unannounced raid on my home is not necessarily appropriate. It is prosecutorial misconduct, the weaponization of the justice system, and an attack by radical-left Democrats who desperately don't want me to run for president in 2024, especially based on recent polls, who will likewise do anything to stop a Republican and conservatives in the upcoming midterm election.
Such an assault could only take place in broken third-world countries. Yeah, no, this would never happen in a row. I see that echoed a lot, and I'm like, isn't it good that a democracy holds its leaders to account? Like, in a third world, this would never happen because...
Yeah, no, he's basically saying that the weaponization of the federal agencies against the prior political opponent is third-world country shit, which, I mean, as an American president, he should know that is something that the American government oftentimes plays a role in, in, like, you know, Latin American countries and whatnot, all around the third-world and developing nations, as a matter of fact, but you're right, this is, no matter how nerdy it is, even if it's, like, mismanagement of classified information, would still be, technically, some level of genuine accountability, and it's, like, the bare minimum. Yeah. I just hate that it's... I wish that it was...
I mean, all former presidents are crooks and awful for the most part, so it is kind of sad that this is how we finally, like, bring about some level of accountability to a former president, you know what I mean? Which is why I'm still holding out hope that the FBI was not so, so silly to just simply conduct this raid for... For documents. For documents that were mismanaged.
I'm holding out hope, but at this point, every single inquiry into him has been an utter nothing-burger-slash-disappointment, and I'm sure this will be no different. Anyways... Because that does have a galvanizing factor. Like, that does end up, you know, bringing more support within the FBI.
The FBI has only ever, since the Hillary Clinton-Benghazi email investigation era, has only ever aided conservatives. 100%. You are correct. This is another thing.
Yeah, you're absolutely correct on that. A lot of people say, like, Russia, Russia, Russia, except, like, James Comey's second investigation 11 days out of the election, which led to nothing, by the way, just a repeat of the prior investigation, that, unironically, had a much larger impact on the 2016 election than anything else. Probably changed the... I mean, there's a good chance to change that.
Yeah, because that was won by margins. That was won by margins. And I do think that, like, obviously, outside of, like, Hillary Clinton's campaign, and it's, like, incompetence, and the DNC's incompetence, and disdain for its, you know, for its voter base, but, you know, for a college league, outside of all those factors, Jim Comey, 100%, played a larger role than Russia did. I mean, the optics of the FBI opening, announcing publicly their opening investigation into a candidate 11 days out, I mean, that's, like, that's basically, like, a plan.
I mean, that's just, like, planned propaganda. It's so unusual to do that, too. They even have a policy not to influence elections like that. 90 days out from a trial.
So why the fuck did he just call me an asset? I mean, it's just so weird. And then Trump turned on him, of course, too, and fired him. But why would he do that?
Why would he be so incompetent? Or, I don't know, it's just hard to imagine, but the FBI has only ever aided them. And this is, and in my opinion, this is what's going to happen as a result of this as well, because, again, I don't think anything's going to come out of it. And it's just going to turn into this insane fundraising, which you already see happening immediately.
Yeah, it does make me happy to see them cry, though. It is. It's great. It makes me so happy.
So, for that reason, like, I don't even give a shit if this is, like, you know, allowing Donald Trump to, like, whip up support. I don't care at all. At the time when he was, like, kind of falling off, Ron DeSantis was, like, on the rise. You know what I mean?
All I want to see is Trump versus DeSantis. I'm living for that. I don't think that'll happen. What?
I don't think that'll happen. They're too, like... What? They're too...
DeSantis is definitely fine for the nominee. Yeah, I know, but I think Ron DeSantis right now... Well, first of all, Ron DeSantis is, like, literally a carbon copy of Trump, or tries to be. Yeah, but he's not...
He's more polished. He's more... Yes, which is why I think the Republican establishment probably like him more. Do you think Trump is going to have a chance at the nominee?
No, I think Trump will be the nominee unless he, like... There's got to be a clash, and Trump is going to, like, eviscerate DeSantis. I don't know, man. I think they'll probably...
I think there's more, like, internal collusion within the Republican ranks, especially now that they have completely become the Trump party. It's probably true, but... Because, like, remember, 2016, like, the primaries on that front were a joke. I mean, Trump just ripped through all of them.
Yeah. Like, probably destroyed their political careers to a degree where they all have to concede, and, you know, despite Trump saying, like, Ted Cruz's your wife is ugly, Ted Cruz's, like, on the phones. You know, smiling and dialing for Donald Trump. I saw a comment, a comic of Trump and Ted Cruz meeting, and Trump's like, hey, Ted, how's your ugly wife?
Something. Great, Mr. President. We like to troll.
Yeah, we'll see. I don't know, but Trump is so off the hinges that you never know. But, you know, as you... By my estimate, it ends up not really being a big deal, and the moment it happens, right, there's a complete and utter conservative meltdown.
It's civil war. It's civil war. They're ready. They have their arms.
They're ready to go. Rubicon has been crossed. I've got, first of all, some of my favorite triggered snowflake tweets. Tim Pool, of course.
What is the Rubicon? Reference to ancient Rome. Rubicon is a river that Julius Caesar crossed. Or was it a river, or is that the name of the...
The shallow river, yeah. Yeah, it is a river, right. But it just means, like, it's a turning point, essentially. Oh, yeah, Crowder.
I can't wait. He goes, you'll remember this day. He starts crying. You'll remember this day for the rest of your life.
This is the day everything changes. Anyway, Marjorie was ready to defund the FBI, which... They're such babies. Like, this is not...
It's not like they didn't even kill Donald Trump's dogs or anything. You know what I mean? Like, that's, like, bare minimum of police shit. Well, they're talking like...
They didn't flashbang, like, Barron. You know what I mean? None of that happened. And these motherfuckers are acting like it's the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of America.
You're right. If you think that they went in and assassinated Trump or something, that's basically the reaction you would expect from that. The Rubicon has been crossed. Marjorie Taylor Gross, Titan Gross, with the upside-down flag.
Shout out. Queen. But, like I said, this is an admission. It's like, these agencies...
They're basically saying these agencies are supposed to work for us. Right. It's that same level of entitlement that caused them to, like, live-stream themselves, break into the fucking halls of Congress. Right.
It's that same level of entitlement that caused them to say, I can't believe we're political prisoners of the American federal government for what... The smallest enforcement. Yeah. Kevin McCarthy, of course, the minority leader, he says, Attorney General Garland, preserve your documents and clear your calendar.
Shut up, bitch, like he did already. And these guys are all, like, big, bold badasses, but ultimately all they were saying on Fox News was just go out and vote. Go out and vote. Vote hard, bitches.
Buy my mug. And at least Stephen Crowder was, like, trying to sell his fucking mug club and being like, Oh, there's a civil war upon us, and we've got to ready our troops. Buy my mug. But, of course, you've got to purchase my t-shirt.
Let's fight like hell. That's how you're going to show everyone how angry you are, by buying my Indonesian t-shirts. So fucking stupid, bro. Kevin McCarthy says, I've seen enough.
When Republicans take back the House, we will conduct immediate oversight of this department. Follow the facts, and leave no stone unturned. Attorney General Garland, preserve your documents and clear your calendar. They're turning to lives.
It's awesome. Like, there's a slight bit of pushback, and they turn into, like, liberals. Like, this is some shit Chris Murphy would type. You know what I mean?
I love that. I love that they're just saying stuff like this and basically urging everyone to vote harder. Vote harder. And I don't know.
I don't know if this is going to cut it. I don't know if this is going to actually get people to go out and vote in the midterms. Because, like, how do you square that hole, you know? Well, the thing is, I don't know that it's necessarily going to help Trump, though.
Because, also, it's not great optics that the president got raided by the FBI, too. And there's going to be a lot of people who are like, you know, I'm sick of this fucking guy. There's always something going on. And the FBI wouldn't be raiding his house if he didn't do some shit.
So, I don't think it's an automatic W for him. I mean, it's definitely going to help raise money, but I don't know if it's going to help get more votes. Andrew Yang, friend of the show. I hate Andrew Yang.
He has really lost his way, man. I can't say that I support him. This whole forward party shit is just a little bit much. I was so right on Andrew Yang being a total fucking loser cuck with no, like, consistent and genuine interest in, like, you know, bettering the lives of Americans.
And I was so goddamn right on Tulsi Gabbard. Yeah, Tulsi ended up the worst. I mean, she's a fucking demon. I'm just saying.
You're a Russian asset, bro. These two people popped off on the internet, and that's where we're at. So, that's why people come in and be like, you know what, Tulsi? What the fuck?
What, do you love imperialism? I was like, bro, she's literally working with the CIA in Africa. Like, while you're typing this out, shut the fuck up. You know, Andrew Yang, with his universal basic income, I thought was great.
And I think it actually did have some positive influences. But I don't know where the fuck he's on with this shit. The moment that this raid became public, he goes, I'm no Trump, Pam. I want him as far away from the White House as possible.
But a fundamental part of his appeal has been that it's him against a corrupt government establishment. This raid strengthens that case for millions of Americans who will see this as an unjust person. The point makes no fucking sense. Are you saying that you can't ever prosecute a leader because of the optics?
Yeah, no, I love the tape. He's like, millions of Americans also think the election was stolen, and that, like, you know, everyone in the Democratic Party are running a pedophile ring. So, it's really fucked up if you guys, like, investigate extractors. It's so dumb.
It's actually so dumb. You're just going to only strengthen their idiocy, okay? You're going to give them the support. And then, the next part is even dumber.
It's like, what the fuck? He goes, it seems like this was authorized by a local judge, a particular FBI office. Trump appointing FBI director. Without buying or notification of higher levels of government.
But literally, no one believed that or make a distinction. Where are you getting that information, bro? No, first of all, it is a judge. It was a Trump appointing judge.
And Trump's very own FBI director, Christopher Wray, that oversaw this operation. Of course, he's going to reach the highest levels within the FBI. I don't give a shit what the FBI says. I do believe that they might have kept the government out of the loop.
Like, they might have kept the White House out of the loop. But Andrew's making it sound like it was some tiny rogue office in the backwaters of... That's a wild take, because this is a previous president. What are you talking...
Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? You don't conduct a search on a previous president's home without the highest levels of FBI being involved in it. So, and then he goes, if they raided his home just to find classified documents, he took from the White House, one legal expert noted who? He will be re-elected president in 2024, heads down.
Is that legal expert Tucker Carlson? It will be proven to be the greatest law enforcement mistake in history. I mean, okay, Andrew, I don't know what the fuck you're doing, but stop it. We don't like it.
I mean, he's doing... He's just farming clicks. That's all he's doing. He doesn't do anything.
There's no viable, like... There's no way in hell Andrew Yang has, like, a viable third party. Also, his third party run is just basically more of the Democratic Party. It's just weird, centrist, fence-sitting bullshit.
Yeah, we already have one of those parties, man. It's, like, probably successful, okay? You know, in comparison to your shit. It's just...
This is, like... Bro, stop it. Oh, by the way, in response to Andrew Yang's incredible insight, here's the headline from the New York Times, fake news, New York Times. Subpoena proceeded search warrant and pushed to retrieve material from Trump.
The Justice Department had sought the return of classified documents you believe might be at Mar-a-Lago before it sent FBI agents this week to live in. Entitlement. Like, subpoena is... Subpoenas are sent to people who are willing participants.
So, wait, they... Once you become an unwilling... Once you're no longer willing to collaborate with the federal government, then, yeah, they're gonna fucking knock down your door. And use the Secret Service to unlock all the doors.
All these fake friends out there, you know? Trump is out there with these big, beautiful Secret Service... What I heard is that the Secret Service didn't participate in the... Is that what you heard?
Yeah. I want to believe that they did, regardless. I heard that there was some confusion between them, as you can imagine, but that they didn't participate. They didn't want to betray the big, beautiful president.
Yeah. So, there you go. I mean, Trump knew this was coming. That's the funny part.
They were literally like, Dude, you have to remove these documents. You have to give us these documents back. I can see him not thinking that they would actually conduct this raid, though, because it does seem like he was a little hysterical when he popped off with that whole... They broke even into my safe.
That was so funny. Not the safe. No. I mean, it is a lot.
Let's be honest. By the way, Garland has a press conference in 15 minutes, so people have updated on that. In five minutes, yeah. It's supposed to start in...
Do we know what's their topic or anything? It is unknown if people address the FBI execution warrant. I mean, you could assume it's gonna be about this, but also, right before we went live, there was a story in an FBI office in Ohio. Was it shot up or something?
Oh, yeah, that's the wonderful thing. Oh, let's go to the Civil War. No, no, there are people out there, which is one of the funniest things you could do. People are doxing Merrick Garland, Christopher Wray, and they're making threats through their lives, and that is the funniest thing you can do.
He's literally the head of the Department of Justice. Yeah, or the fucking head of the FBI. He's like, I am the biggest police... Armed man tried to breach FBI Cincinnati Building Authority State.