Volunteer Fun and...Body Image Issues

I had a great time volunteering on Saturday at the inaugural Great Springs Trail race in San Marcos. I was the person handing out medals. We got to witness the annualar solar eclipse and everyone finished! Good times. Switching gears....I had an annual physical the other day and it triggered my eating disorder issues, big time. I was deemed "overweight," according to the BMI (my height is wrong and I was wearing more clothes than the last time.) The nurse-practitioner wanted to up certain drugs for cholesterol and blood pressure. No heed given to my thyroid being removed in 2015 and that I have been on the same dosage of synthetic thyroid since then. (narrator's voice: I think I should be on a higher dose, but my lab numbers are considered "fine.") I explained that I was concerned about post-menopausal weight gain and body changes, despite hard workouts, lifting weights and doing functional training and eating mainly plant-based. My words were ignored. Instead, she suggested that I go on one of these diet drugs that have become so popular. She said I would need to check with my insurance company to see what would be covered, and that the co-pay would be the equivalent of a steak dinner with wine. I went into a tailspin. I still am. I have never been overweight, except for when I was 10 and a growth spurt slowed, so I eventually turned toward disordered eating. Menopause is a bitch. I was spared most of the symptoms, but the shifting weight has killed my sense of self. I still feel like me, but when I see photos of myself or catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, I want to die. I have a lot of friends in the same boat, so that sort of helps. It's just infuriating that when men can't get an erection, they're offered all sorts of options. Women, when dealing with a loss of estrogen are told to eat less and buy bigger clothes. This can't be the way it should be. This is a little heavy, but it comes from the heart.