We fight constantly: are we compatible?

An episode of the Modern Couples podcast, hosted by Rick Miller, LICSW & Lilian Borges, LPC, titled "We fight constantly: are we compatible?" was published on August 21, 2025 and runs 26 minutes.

August 21, 2025 ·26m · Modern Couples

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Summary

Do frequent fights mean you and your partner are incompatible? Could fights actually be part of how some couples stay connected? In this episode, therapists Rick Miller and Lillian Borges take a closer look at what conflict reveals about relationships. They explore why fighting isn’t always a red flag, how our upbringing and attachment styles shape the way we argue, and the difference between conflict that strengthens connection and patterns that erode trust. Along the way, they challenge the idea that compatibility is about avoiding arguments altogether and instead show how the willingness to repair, regulate emotions, and stay present makes all the difference.

Episode Description

Do frequent fights mean you and your partner are incompatible?

Could fights actually be part of how some couples stay connected?

In this episode, therapists Rick Miller and Lillian Borges take a closer look at what conflict reveals about relationships. They explore why fighting isn’t always a red flag, how our upbringing and attachment styles shape the way we argue, and the difference between conflict that strengthens connection and patterns that erode trust.

Along the way, they challenge the idea that compatibility is about avoiding arguments altogether and instead show how the willingness to repair, regulate emotions, and stay present makes all the difference.

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