What to Do When You're Struggling | The Catholic Man Show

For the 4th of July, the 250th birthday of America, Adam did the most Okie thing a man can do to celebrate: he took the family to a rodeo. Both boys went mutton busting, Friday and Saturday. Leo, six, drew a slow sheep the second night and rode it a full 17 seconds, hanging on and hollering "keep going, keep going!" into its ear because he knew he needed that sheep to move to score.-----------Sponsor: The Amen app (from the Augustine Institute)The Amen app is the free Catholic prayer app the guys use to prep the family for Sunday, listening to the Sunday Gospel on the way to Holy Mass so the kids are ready to receive it before they walk in. No paywall, no subscription trap, no upfront cost. Download the Amen app right now.Sponsor: Select International Tours: selectinternationaltours.comWhen Adam and Dave decided to lead their first pilgrimage, one name kept coming up: Select International Tours. Having used them, the guys can vouch for it. Wherever in the world you want to go, Select has a tour ready. Whether you want to lead a pilgrimage or attend one, head to selectinternationaltours.com and see everything they offer. You won't regret it.----------He placed top three, took home a little money and a free snow cone, and nobody's sure which one he was prouder of. John, three, puffed his chest out all day, crumbled at the chute, rode two seconds, hit the dirt, cried, and then immediately declared he was doing it again tomorrow. He did. Same result. He was in it for the story.Then there's Adam and the bull. He's always had the itch to put himself on the line, to go where it takes fortitude and prudence and a whole lot of luck. So he slipped up to the chute with the cowboys, just to feel the atmosphere next to something that powerful. A storm blew in and cut the bull riding short. Adam's calling that one Providence, same as the fight that got cancelled back when COVID shut down the world. Some signs you don't get to ignore.The pour is Teeling Wonders of Wood Single Pot Still, Virgin Swedish Oak. Ninety three dollars, and worth it. No Jim on hand to work the yummy scale, so the guys guessed it might've metamorphosed into a 7.321. Deep, resonant, dangerously delicious.The prayer request is Mary. She's a little over four months now, still in the NICU. Adam sent a photo of her smiling right through all the tubing, and it melted everybody. It's been a hard stretch, a step back, but she recovered fast, her breathing's improving, and there's talk of scheduling open heart surgery in the next four to six months. Adam described the NICU "tree," the pole that once held fifteen to twenty bags and lines and now holds four. Look where they were. Look where they are. Thank you for the prayers. They have not been in vain, and Lady Haylee has been heroic through all of it.Then the topic: what to do when you're struggling. Not just spiritual struggle. Focus, work, sin, the whole weight of it. Most of it isn't laziness. It's disorder, a misalignment between the intellect and the appetites, an internal civil war stoked by stress and exhaustion and distraction. Aquinas names it. Augustine sharpens it: the mind commands the body and it obeys instantly, but the mind commands itself and is resisted. Adam's own admission cut deepest. There is a part of him that does not want to be holy. Naming that was the whole battle. Once he saw the enemy clearly, fasting and prayer stopped feeling like punishment and started feeling like war worth waging. Protect, provide, establish, and fight for your own soul while you're at it. Win the next 15 minutes. Then win the next one. Raise your glass.TOPICS COVEREDCelebrating the 4th of July, America's 250th, the most Okie way possible: a rodeoLeo and John mutton busting both nights, and Leo riding a slow sheep 17 seconds while yelling at it to keep goingJohn, three years old, crumbling at the chute, crying, and immediately signing up to do it againThe bull that jumped the arena into the stands, and Adam's lifelong itch to ride oneAdam sneaking up to the chute and the storm that cut the bull riding short as ProvidenceCarl's 4th of July party, the Declaration recited by teenagers, the bike parade, and drinking a beer while riding a bike ("bunking")Bourbon of the week: Teeling Wonders of Wood Single Pot Still, Virgin Swedish Oak, $93Running the yummy scale without Jim and guessing at a 7.321Prayer update on baby Mary: four months in the NICU, a smiling photo through the tubing, and open heart surgery on the horizonThe NICU "tree" as a visualization of progress, from twenty lines down to fourWhy most struggle is not laziness but disorder and a lack of a clear vision of the endThe human person broken down: intellect, will, and appetites, each with different triggersSt. Thomas Aquinas on the harmony between intellect and appetite, and the civil war when they misalignSt. Augustine on the mind that commands the body instantly but resists commanding itselfThe full life of St. John Paul II as a case study in struggle met with faith and joyWhy you should tell your kids and grandkids your real struggle stories, not hide themRedemptive suffering, and the shortage of real perseverance stories for kids raised on pop cultureTolkien on dragons: children already know dragons exist; they need to know dragons can be beatenCuriosity as the quiet vice, and choosing the good over even a lesser goodWhy it's about atmosphere and scenarios, not willpower, because willpower gives out fastAdam's admission that part of him does not want to be holy, and going to war against itFortitude as the virtue of winning by not losing, and building a habit of small victoriesThe Dave Ramsey debt snowball as a picture of stacking winsCustody of the eyes, stopping the struggle before it starts, and "today, I will be a saint"REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODEBooks & Writings:Confessions by St. Augustine (the mind commands itself and is resisted)Summa Theologiae by St. Thomas Aquinas (harmony and misalignment of intellect and appetite)The Aeneid by Virgil (Adam reading it aloud with his boys over the summer)Tolkien's line on dragons in children's stories (misremembered on air as "Jetson")Saints & Church Figures:St. John Paul II, Karol Wojtyła (the extended story of his life and suffering)St. Thomas AquinasSt. AugustineThe bishop referenced in the "bishop's flattery" aside, may he rest in peacePeople:Adam Minihan (host; the rodeo, the chute, baby Mary, M6 Marketing, The Grounded Builder on Substack)Dave Niles (host; Lady Pamela and the kids)Lady Haylee (heroic through Mary's NICU stay)Leo and John Minihan (the mutton busters)Karl Graham (friend of the show; the 4th of July party)Dave Ramsey (the debt snowball and the philosophy of stacking wins)