When Problem Solving Should Be Independent with Marnie M.

Marnie has three older kids--14, 17, and 20--who get frustrated because, when they come to her with problems, she offers solutions and tries to fix the problems for them. Marnie is looking for a new approach to this situation.

Today, we discuss the job of parents, and how it's not to solve kids' problems for them. We talk about the importance of asking questions to help them solve problems on their own, as well as of giving your kids credit for their ability to figure things out--an ability that will only increase with encouragement. We discuss how, once your kids reach a certain age, you're out of the rescuing business. Finally, we talk about how to help a child who's frozen between decisions, as well as one who worries about having made the wrong one.

"As a parent, you're there to help them with the process, not the decision." - Sue Groner

This week on The Parenting Mentor:

• Why asking questions helps your kids learn to problem solve
• Why figuring problems out is part of the process of growing
• How to respond if your kid asks for your opinion
• Instilling the habit of thinking through a problem
• Using a non-judgmental tone when they've messed up
• Teaching your kids not to look back too much after they've made a decision

Meet the Parenting Mentor

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Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy.

Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don't forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting.

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