Why Most People Go to Therapy Isn't What You Think - Dr. Emily Anhalt ｜69

Dr. Emily Anhalt is a clinical psychologist, co-founder of Coa (the gym for mental health), and author of Flex Your Feelings: Train Your Brain to Develop the 7 Traits of Emotional Fitness. After interviewing 100 psychologists and 100 entrepreneurs, she identified the seven traits emotionally healthy people are working on all the time — and built a practice around helping founders, leaders, and teams treat mental health the way they treat physical health: proactively, consistently, and as an ongoing practice rather than a crisis response.In this conversation, Dr. Emily walks us through why most people go to therapy (it's not what you think), the catch-22 of being healthy in an unhealthy society, why she tells people to strive for agency instead of control, the 7 traits of emotional fitness and why mindfulness is the foundation, how to tell emotional fitness from emotional performance, and one "emotional pushup" you can do today.Find Dr. Emily: dremilyanhalt.comInstagram: @dremilyanhaltBook: Flex Your Feelings — available anywhere books are soldBuilders & Doers is produced by Horizon Search.0:00 Intro0:57 Growing up with ADHD in Silicon Valley2:57 What ADHD actually is (and what it's not)3:25 Why everyone now has "ADHD-like" symptoms — the dopamine machine in your pocket4:34 Spectrum vs disorder — when does it become a problem?5:34 Explanation vs excuse — the responsibility you still own6:00 Strive for agency, not control7:17 The catch-22: healthy individuals, healthy society9:44 The pre-modern mind — what did we trade away?11:14 Why emotional fitness is like physical fitness13:30 Why psychology isn't taught in schools15:42 Emotional fitness and the zombie test19:50 Why success doesn't fix unhappiness (Morning Brew and rock stars)22:22 Why people don't change even when they know what to change23:45 The British "stiff upper lip" problem25:31 Emotional pushups — 5 minutes of feeling without judgment27:19 Where and how to feel your feelings appropriately32:26 The 7 traits of emotional fitness37:06 Can you fake emotional fitness? (Steve Jobs, success, and manipulation)40:15 Emotional fitness isn't about being happy all the time43:02 Pharmaceuticals and psychedelics — the "fever" framework47:34 5 days of darkness and the all-or-nothing problem49:09 Writing a book, AI, and the loss of humanity in writing51:20 What she wants readers to walk away with52:07 Dr. Emily's favorite emotional pushup — the text message53:28 Coaching vs therapy — you don't have to wait for a problem56:13 Where to find Dr. Emily