EPISODE · May 11, 2026 · 24 MIN
Why Your Child ‘Falls Apart’ at Home (But Not at School) | Ep. 165
from Autistic and ADHD Kids Parenting Strategies: Every Brain is Different · host Samantha Foote
Connect with Samantha: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/ Join the Neurodivergent Parenting Community: https://www.everybrainisdifferent.com/membership Samantha and Lauren open by discussing mom guilt and the importance of giving yourself grace when you miss commitments, lose your cool, or have hard parenting moments, emphasizing that apologies and tomorrow-as-a-reset matter. They then explain masking: children, especially neurodivergent kids, may hold it together at school and unravel at home because home is emotionally safe, not because parents are doing something wrong or the child is being manipulative. They describe how cognitive fatigue (executive-function demands), emotional exhaustion (managing expectations, social stress, fear of trouble, rejection sensitivity), and sensory overload (noise, lights, clothing discomfort) accumulate during the day, leaving kids with no capacity for even small demands like “How was your day?” They note masking can also differ between co-parents, and suggest school accommodations (movement, no forced eye contact, IEP/504 supports) and coping skills, with next week focused on making school feel safer. 00:00 Welcome and Mom Guilt 01:03 Grace and Repairing Moments 03:05 What Masking Looks Like 07:17 Why Home Meltdowns Happen 09:26 School Accommodations 12:15 Safe Parent and Coparenting 14:42 The Cost of Masking 20:06 Sensory Overload Stack 22:51 You Are the Safe Place 24:22 Community Support and Wrap Up Connect with Samantha Foote!Website: https://everybrainisdifferent.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everybrainisdifferentYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@everybrainisdifferent
What this episode covers
Samantha and Lauren open by discussing mom guilt and the importance of giving yourself grace when you miss commitments, lose your cool, or have hard parenting moments, emphasizing that apologies and tomorrow-as-a-reset matter. They then explain masking: children, especially neurodivergent kids, may hold it together at school and unravel at home because home is emotionally safe, not because parents are doing something wrong or the child is being manipulative. They describe how cognitive fatigue (executive-function demands), emotional exhaustion (managing expectations, social stress, fear of trouble, rejection sensitivity), and sensory overload (noise, lights, clothing discomfort) accumulate during the day, leaving kids with no capacity for even small demands like “How was your day?” They note masking can also differ between co-parents, and suggest school accommodations (movement, no forced eye contact, IEP/504 supports) and coping skills, with next week focused on making school feel safer.
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Why Your Child ‘Falls Apart’ at Home (But Not at School) | Ep. 165
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