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Boys, boys, great interview with them, touch everything. We also have some conference final sets. So, Hank is going to be on Zoom. He was on the wood, on the floor, for the Celtics beating the Bucs in Game 7.
We're also taping this at halftime of the Mavs' sons, because we're calling it. We're calling it. It could be a historic comeback, but we are calling it. The sons are cooked.
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Fight! Fight! Now in the street there is violence, and then a lot of some work to be done. No pistol and I love washing, and then I can't blame all of us on.
Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue, and then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue. It's a party might take. This is the Barstool Sports.
Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by Visible.com slash pod. Get unlimited single-line wireless for as low as $25 a month when you go to Visible.com slash pod. Today is Monday, May 16th, and the Suns are dead, the Mavericks are alive, the Celtics are alive, and the Bucs are dead. All right, so, little caveat here.
We are taping this at halftime. Right now, the score is Luka Doncic, 27, the Phoenix Suns, 27. Chris Paul, one. It's actually so much money that Chris Paul only has one point, that he had zero points at half.
Yes, one point is hard to do. Listen, PFT, we know Paul. He's downloading the information. Second half, he's going to be going off.
He's plugged in. He's gonna figure out. He's just updating it right now. He's updating the code back in the locker room.
When he comes out, it's over for the Mavs. But we decided to do this at halftime because either, one, we look smart by saying the Suns are deader than dead, and this is an embarrassing performance, game seven at home, or we will get to relive this as the dumbest thing we've ever done when they come back and have the craziest victory of all time. I don't think it's that dumb. I mean, let's say that Chris Paul hypothetically quadruples his output from the first half, and he ends up with five points on the game total.
Yeah, they're done. The Suns are cooked. The Suns has expired. The Suns, to clarify, my good friend, Meek Mill, the Suns is a disgrace.
They're a disgrace. I'm going to call right now. I'm going to use a hard D-bomb. What's that, Hank?
A fraud. I love Meek Mill. Okay, so here's what we'll do. Let's talk Celtics first, then we'll revisit after we watch the first five minutes of the third quarter.
But the Suns are done. They're cooked. I've never seen, in credit to the Mavs, by the way, the Mavs came out with great energy. Spencer Dinwiddie was just getting every shot.
I do think it's a combo of the Mavs playing great, but also the Suns forgetting how to touch a basketball. The way that they're playing basketball right now is very strange. It's real strange. It's like Chris Paul, he tries to run a pick and roll, dribbles into a double team, kicks it out directly backwards to Jake Crowder and hopes that Jake Crowder just fills it up.
That's what their game plan is right now. Shocking, it's not working. Luka Doncic is straight up tearing them limb from limb. Crossing over everyone.
And he's doing the smug little Luka smirks. I don't think anybody has a more condescending smirk besides Hank Lafwood. Yes. And then Luka Doncic does.
He's boxing out on free throws and winking at the fouls. Yes, yes. It's very disrespectful what he's doing. Our good friend Sam Schwarty actually pointed out that Spencer Dinwiddie has been playing like a fucking maniac since Bitcoin crashed.
And his entire contract got converted into crypto this year. So he's out there. He knows he has to get under the contract. He's really in trouble right now.
Yeah, he's got to try to get one max deal. The Suns are playing like they have Chris Paul and four James Hardens in a game seven. That's how they're playing right now. Wait, but what's the conversion rate of a playoff Chris Paul to a playoff James Harden?
Well, I feel like that's like Stanley Nichols to true Paul. Yeah, well, and it's also a Chris Paul that was up 2-0 in a series. And I think this would be now the fifth time. And I know there's injuries in there and everything.
And there's all these different. But I think it would be the fifth time a Chris Paul-led team was up 2-0 in a series and ended up losing that series. I think we need to actually take a step back and rewind through history. Go back to when the Chris Paul to the Lakers trade didn't happen because David Stern nixed it.
for guys like us who just live on narratives. And we don't want to give up narratives because they're fun. And look, we know Chris Paul's good. But is he?
What's the question that should lead all debate shows on Monday? Chris Paul is literally the best NBA player of all time that has sucked. We actually were debating whether we could call Rosilla tonight. I don't think we can.
I think this is going to be a fracture in our relationship for a while. I think we've got to wait a couple weeks. I think I'm going to have to have another kid and we're going to have another life episode and sit down and just be like, here's a tip. Don't get too committed to one player who's 37 years old and chokes in the playoffs all the time.
I think I might have to go with Dr. Tyler to save our relationship with him. I'll name him Chris and I'll get Ryan to help me raise him. Yeah, but yeah, Ryan will be like, oh, that's my son's name too.
Is Ryan, is he a Celtics fan? Yes. So that's probably, we'll have to wait until after the Celtics get to the finals and just let him talk about how great his Celtics are. Yes, but this is, it's going to be tough.
We'll be touching goal for a while. We'll try to have him on at some point in the rest of the playoffs. But this will be a, like, I'll text him in a few days being like, hey, that'll be it. Like, just a hey.
You're not going to text him tonight? No, I already texted him. I texted him in the second quarter. I was like, hey, chin up, dude.
He's just, he's just, he's just getting ready to go off. I was like, long game. But all right, let's talk about the game that is final. The Celtics beat the Bucs.
Hank was there on the wood. The Bucs, you know, incredible series, incredible series, go seven. The Bucs decided to galaxy brain game seven saying, let's just leave Grant Williams open, who's a 40% shooter from three. He's not bad.
He's a good shooter from three. They left him open all day. He tied the record for most threes in a game seven with seven. That was, that was wild.
Hank, why don't you tell us? I'll let you just go wherever you want to go with your spaz celebrations. Just go off. I mean, we can get into spaz celebrations.
It was an unbelievable experience. Great hospitality shown by the Celtics. Sitting courtside, obviously, it was wild. Wild sitting there.
Grant Williams. But it was one of those things where they left him wide open. And every time it wasn't, there weren't bad shots. It was like, he has to be shooting these.
He's missing them, but he just needs to keep shooting them because he's wide open. They're not guarding them. Yeah. So he attempted 18 threes in this game.
But none of them were bad shots. No, there were relatively wide open. There's only one player that's ever attempted more threes in a playoff game. Any guesses?
James Harden. Russell Westbrook. Russell Westbrook. On a night that he put up 43 total shots, and he still lost.
That was the record. It still stands, but only by one. I think he had 19 attempts. It was a click.
It was the Grant Williams game. You have to ask yourself, did Hank's presence at courtside, like when LeBron plays so well because Drake's there watching him, was Grant like, you know what? I'm team Hank. I got to put it on a show for my boy.
Yeah. Some of these guys here, Marcus Smart came over afterwards. We were sitting next to the agent, came over, took a picture. Great guy.
I got a question about that. I got a question about that. There's a picture. You can find it online.
Hank and David. Marcus Smart posted it. Dave did point out on the Twitter that he said that you should take your shirts off. What happened there?
Because I'll tell you one thing. That picture would be 10 billion times funnier if you both had your shirts off as well. Oh, easily. I would have shown the six pack.
He said that after the fact. That was a post mostly comment. That wasn't. Like he said, I was like, yeah, that would have been hilarious, but it wasn't.
It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. The celebrations, obviously, you know, when you're in the wood, like you guys know how it is. We do streams. People see you celebrating.
Yeah, when you're in the wood. That was just like, that was as raw emotion as you could possibly have. It wasn't thought about. It wasn't like, I'm going to pump my fist.
It was just like excitement leaving my body simultaneously through both of my hands. I have no problem with it. Yeah, I think like that's, it was beautiful to watch. I know that you're self-conscious about it, but I don't think that you should be.
I'm not. No, you're definitely not. You're so terrified. You tweeted it after.
Can I tell you actually? You tweeted it at me. Well, yeah, because it was, it was shocking. I mean, like, dude, remember when PFT.
You described it. You described it. You described it for the listeners. You tried to do, and you can find it.
We'll put it in the YouTube. Hank tried to do a double fist pump and kind of like a double flail kick. Someone actually nailed it. You looked like one of Balmer's cronies when they were doing the like, get on your feet dance.
Like Windows 97 was getting introduced. That's the old Donald Trump. Yeah. It was like, you lost all control of your body.
And can I tell you? I did. Can I tell you that this is going to hurt you? Because the call came from within the house.
When I, when I, when I keyed in on you celebrating, I got tipped off to it by a close associate sometime in the second quarter. Who, memes? Nope. Stanford Steve texted me.
He was like, we got to work on Hank's fist pumps. And I was like, what? And then I started watching. I was like, what is he doing?
He's trying to pull off a double fist pump. That's never been done before. Hank, I know, I know you're thinking to yourself probably, man, I look like a special nerd. I'm so embarrassed.
I wish no one had ever seen this. But Hank, I don't have a problem. I think that you're in the arena. You're in the wood arena.
You're supposed to look like an absolute freak when you're second court side. I would be concerned if you didn't celebrate like a complete and total dork. Like that tells me that you're a real fan. Yeah.
And also, it kind of works too, because they had like, if you were someone who was watching and you had no idea what Barstool was, they have Team Hank on the Jumbotron in the second quarter, then you spazzing out, they're like, this guy's got like two weeks to live. It's great. He's enjoying the hell out of his time. Yeah.
Listen, I just, I think I said it on the show the other day. I'm in denial about that part of it, because I was thinking about it. I'm like, it's just ridiculous that people are just like being like Team Hank for no fucking reason. They're asking like, why are they saying this?
I'm like, I don't really know how to explain it. And I'm just not going to. Right. I'm just going to block that part out of it and just focus on the good parts.
Focus on, listen, yeah, you make fun of my celebration, which is perfectly normal, but if that's the price I have to pay for victory at Game 7 on the wood, I'll do it all day. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing is, in reality, like you've been on a very hot streak recently. So us sitting on our couch making fun of your celebration, I think we deserve this.
We deserve this. You jumped out of the screen. I thought you were going to collapse. Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's 7 on Earth. Love like you've never won before. Dance like no one's watching. I actually said that when I came in.
You really can't even clap. I've been working on my claps. My claps are totally fine now, but it took some bad film for me to improve on it. It was a good thing.
In fact, I thank God every morning that I wake up that that bad visual me clapping like my hands were butterfly wings. I'm glad that came out there because I got to improve on it. I got to watch my own film. You should look at this as a learning.
What was Tom Brady saying? He probably said, I learn more from my mistakes than I do from my accomplishments. So you've got a lot to learn today. The game, I don't want to say it turned, but when Marcus Smart stole the ball from Giannis with like a second left in the second quarter, and then they called the shooting three from half court.
It was like from that moment on, it was the Celtics romp. The Celtics played like absolute dirt in the first quarter. And the fact that they made it out of the first half up by five, that's 100% true. Where it's like, they played really, really bad in one and a half by five points.
Like, if they just played decent, they're going to win. That's what they did. I did have a lot of... And Giannis was missing.
He missed like five layups in the second half quarter. He did. I had a lot of NBA rigged in the first half. It did seem like there were some very sketchy calls going on.
Like, they were trying to work against the Celtics. I would agree with somebody that if you're rooting for Boston, you were watching that first half, it seemed more than a little fishy. But then at some point in the second half, it almost felt like the refs figured out like, well, we can't keep this one close. It's just not able to happen.
And it was essentially the Bucs needed just anyone to step up for them, and they just didn't have anyone to step up. Like, it was... You know what's so weird is I was looking at it. Giannis, I don't think anyone would argue at this point Giannis is the best player in the world.
Like, the series he put on was incredible. He had... Yeah, a triple-double in the first quarter. He had 200...
In seven games, he had 237 points, 103 rebounds, and 50 assists. Like, that's just stupid. So, I don't think anyone would argue that it wasn't like... They acquitted themselves as well as a defending champ could do.
And I'm not going to get into the Chris Middleton injury because you can't talk about, like, what are you going to do? Like, he's injured. Like, what are you going to say? It's just crazy to think of, like, how much he did and how much he just needed one guy.
One or two guys. Which actually brings me to a point, Hank. Is the Brotherhood dead? Because Grayson Allen was so bad, he had such big, like, I shouldn't be here energy.
And he air-balled a three in the second quarter, and you were up his ass. I was watching. You were up his ass. So, is the Brotherhood dead?
Is the Duke Brotherhood dead? I mean, Brotherhood's forever, but it's like, you know, when you change... It's only when you're wearing the jersey. Let's be honest.
It's only when you're wearing the jersey. You're wearing the jersey, Brotherhood, but if you're wearing the opposing team's jersey and I'm on the wood and you air-ball it, I'm going to let you hear it. Did you find out after the game and try to do a handshake line with him? No, no.
You were giving them business. They walked right off. I mean, I don't... Yeah, I guess I, like, people were telling me a lot of this.
I was vocal. It was one of those things. It's like, you know, when you're on the wood, you're involved in the game. You're basically like the sixth man.
Can we talk real quick about other pieces, important pieces of the game? Piss break in the first quarter. What happened there? I got pretty drunk last night.
Woke up today. Had a couple drinks in the morning. So, I was definitely like... My bladder was...
I needed to go. Yeah. I wasn't... It took me a little while to get into game mode.
I had to really play my way into it. It was a glaring absence on the timeline, though. He still got like a sore thumb. And that's actually...
It was one of those things where I was... You know, listen. I sat down in the seats and in my head... I was like, I have to pee, but I'm going to wait until the end of the first half.
But I was so uncomfortable. And I was like, it's going to be awkward. I'm probably going to get tripped for it. But I'm going to be 10 times more comfortable once I'm finished.
It had to be done. By the way, quick update. The Mavericks are now up 41 points. Holy shit.
41 points. I think we made the right choice. Holy shit. Sons is a disgrace.
Can they actually throw in a white towel? Can the Suns actually just quit? I'm telling you. You guys are going to bop me for it, but they needed AJ Teddies at halftime.
Yes, we are going to bop me for it. Both things can be true. I'm not afraid of being bonkers on the truth. And call me horny if you must, but they need to get stuck off.
Yeah, this is horrific. I don't know what you would see. Let's just get a quick update on Chris Paul's stat line. I think he's still got one point.
He's got three points. Three points, all right. Three points, two assists, one rebound. Stat stuffer.
He's got to be doing a bit, right? I think Giannis had that stat line 45 seconds in the game. It's ridiculous what Chris Paul's doing right now. You've got Murakiu and Sal backstage whispering into earphones.
Okay, now throw the ball off to Bale McGee's knee out of bounds. It also, I mean, Bob Ryan hates this NBA, but it does prove that DeAndre Ayton has also been bad. And DeAndre Ayton is, you have to have five guys that can play the three-point line in a series. You know what I mean?
You can't play with the center. I'm offended. I'm going into this game. I texted the group chat this, trying to get what the vibes were.
I was betting on the Suns, and I said, I'm also betting the over on Chris Paul points at 17 and a half. And I was doing it mostly so that I would be saving myself either way. So one, if he did get the over, boom, I bet hits. I'm happy about that.
If he gets the under, then it really fuels. It gets me more amped up about my anti-Chris Paul stance. Right. And so it did the trick.
I'm literally angry at Chris Paul right now. It is. It's nuts. This is a shocking, shocking game.
Game seven at home, and you're down 39 now. They just cut the lead on a 2-0 run. You never hear somebody say, like, they laid an egg in basketball. It's more of a football turn.
Chris Paul is laying an egg right now. This is, do you blow up the suns? I got to. I don't know.
This is a loss that will haunt you. I wonder what Brian Cox would say about whether or not you can actually do that. Can I do a quick Monday reading? Yeah.
Billy Football just tweeted this 16 seconds ago. He said, suns, question mark, more like moons because they're playing ass out terrible. That's good. I like that.
That was it. Is the opposite of the sun the moon though? I don't think so. I understand.
Yeah, for us. It's the moon the ass out. Yeah, I like it. In the universe, what is the opposite of the sun?
Black hole. Yeah. Black hole, sun. This is a singularity.
Yeah. Hank, we now need to turn our attention. By the way, one last thing about Grant Williams. I'm not playing like Jupiter.
Shut up, fuck that up. Rewind. Tell you what they're not playing like Saturn because they got no rings. Nice.
I think Jupiter has maybe a small ring. A technical ring. Like a bubble ring. Like, yeah.
Right, right, right. Drops from Jupiter. Great song. Tell me to fall from shooting stars.
Let's do Mount Rushmore plans. By the way, I have a Mount Rushmore idea that popped in my head now. We're getting just sideways. I have an idea for how we should do Mount Rushmore this year.
Oh boy. Yeah, I think we should go teams because Billy and Jake are sitting next to each other. We can have the producer team and me and PFT team up. And we go, there's three teams pick each time, but it's teams.
I like that. I think it would be a nice variation for it. And we should give ourselves names. Yeah, and jerseys.
And jerseys and sell shirts. I just like, I'm just going to throw it out there. You guys are the two most valuable people. What happens when you guys are just getting like...
I don't know. We haven't been on a show recently. Are we a super team? Are you guys nowhere?
Are we getting bad for Mount Rushmore? No, you guys being bad. You guys are going to be so bad that there's going to be like dissension between you two. I think we're actually going to find out very quickly that we are just dominant left and right.
We've seen Jake and Billy together. That team doesn't work. What's up? Team Hubbell was a wagon.
Team Hubbell was a pizza draft. Don't forget the pizza draft. That was actually... That was the birth of the team Hank movement was the pizza draft.
I'll never forget it. It's down his worst place then. All right, let's move on to the more important pressing topic now. We're going to talk NHL after the bus with the boys so we do all hockey talk then.
Hank, you now have to face your greatest foe of your life. It's the only person who can just beat you left and right, up and down and there's nothing you can do about it. He's a kryptonite. It's Jake Marsh.
So what are your thoughts going into this Eastern Conference Final now with Jake Marsh looking at you across the way and just smiling and being like I hope we just have a good time? Yeah, I mean this is bubble revenge in my thoughts. Honestly, this is going to make it worse. It's going to be a colder take if they end up losing but I do think the Celtics are a better team.
I think this should be a five or six game series win. And I just, you know, heat culture, all that shit but that was, you know, even the bubble, like the Celtics team is a much different team than they were in the bubble. They're way better. The Heat are basically the same if not worse.
Yes. So I feel, I feel, I feel extremely confident about this game. So, yeah, I would not feel confident ever going up against Jake Marsh because he's a winner. He'll smile, he'll laugh, he'll apologize for beating you as he slits your throat.
It's just, it's so much worse losing to Jake at anything. And I would be very, very afraid if I were you. I would definitely not be making declarations. It sounds like you're declaring a possible whomping.
You said five or six games. That's a potential whomping. That is a potential whomping. I also would just like to say, you know, it's just such a shame.
Such a shame that it's not the Sixers. Like, if they were as good as they claimed to be all year, I'm just talking all that shit and they were in the Eastern Conference Finals and this was Boston versus Philadelphia for a chance to go to the Finals, it'd be unbelievable. By the way, not to just rip the wound, the fresh-keeping wound that the Sixers have, but the one little fun fact that comes out of Imei Udoka going to the Eastern Conference Finals is now three assistant coaches the Sixers had. They're the new Washington Redskins.
Three, sorry, commanders. They have three assistant coaches in the last seven years that have gone to a Conference Finals. So, obviously, Mike D'Antoni, he's, he, yeah, he was on the staff in 2015, 2016, he went to the Western Conference Finals with the Rockets. Monty Williams, coach of the Suns, who now is laying an egg, was on the staff.
He went to the Western Conference Finals, went to the Finals, and Imei Udoka now is going to the Eastern Conference Finals. So, as they wrestle with Brent Brown and Doc Rivers, they had three guys who, at least two of the three guys, because you can throw out the mic because I think he was there just for like almost a sabbatical year. The other two guys are better coaches than they've had in their former coach in their current coach. Imei is also the only African-American head coach of the Celtics to ever advance to the Conference Finals.
Big day for Jay Williams. Huge for Jay Williams. Did you see that stat, by the way, Hank, that the Celtics have now been to half of the Eastern Conference Finals? That's crazy.
That's disgusting. That's crazy. Do you ever just wake up in the morning and thank God that you're a Boston sports fan? Yeah, I mean, being home is like the greatest thing in the world.
I love being in Boston. It's a beautiful day. The city is alive, and it's just like, I wish, I just love it here. Team Hank, you must have been like Mother Teresa in a former life.
Team Hank, yeah. And then, could you imagine that guy who has all that getting that triggered over a double fist pump? I'm not sure. Hank, you just said out loud, you've been to half the Eastern Conference Finals.
You, above all, anyone else should know to act like you've been there before. Yeah, I think that's what someone that's been there before does. It's a perfectly normal reaction. And now you get your double kryptonite, because the Heat, I think, are 2-0 against the Celtics in the Eastern Conference Finals, and you have Jake Marsh, who's like a billion-0 against Henry Lockwood.
Yeah, I mean, I'm excited. I'm ready. I think if they still won in Miami, then they'll win the series. We'll talk a little bit more about the road trip that Jake and I went on down to D.C., but this is directly relevant to you here, Hank.
Jake, at one point, you said something along those lines where you were like, it's not as meaningful now that you're in the sports media world. Oh, about myself. Yes. Oh, yes, I thought you said I was saying that about you.
No, no, no. Yes, you're doing it again right now. I was confused. I said, like, what I want to do in my long-term career, like, you have to become more neutral.
Like, obviously, I'm always going to rep my teams, but living and dying and... You could care less that you just destroyed the NFC in the world a little bit. Exactly. No, that's the message.
Laver clear. The biggest alpha in the office. Yep, that's a fact. That's a fact.
Okay, anything else? Absolutely shocking. Chris Paul, still three points. Biggest egg possible.
It's crazy. Yeah, CP3. You think he's hurt? Should we say he's hurt?
I think Chris Paul's too healthy. Okay, I think that's probably it right now. He's just confused. His body doesn't know how to react right now because, like, wait, my left wrist should be hurting right now.
Yeah, this might be... I might have to watch this press conference afterwards. I'm not a big press conference watcher unless it's, like, LeBron losing in an epic fashion. He still hasn't done his Q&A.
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Who's back of the week? Henry. Team Hank is back. Go ahead, Team Hank.
Yeah, Team Hank is back. He might have not got a who's back. Game 7 hockey overtimes. Yeah.
Pittsburgh, congratulations. I'm calling right now for the Penguins. Wow, how dare you. That's your who's back?
It's not an overtime yet. Game 7. This is some good who's podcasting. Lacrosse is back.
Oh, there it is. Lacrosse is back. Can the future be back? Yeah, I mean, it's that time here.
It's like whenever the season's starting, the PLL's starting soon, the college team's in the championship. Didn't we pick up some guy in the draft? Yeah, the Water Dogs actually had a really good draft. What's their grade?
I give us an A+. Okay, cool. What about the Whipsnakes? Whipsnakes, I mean, as one of the reigning champions in the first inaugural years of the league, they didn't have that good picks.
But I think the Redwoods are still the team to beat. Just give me a grade, Bill. I just need a draft grade. Give them a B- for the Whipsnakes.
Okay. Anyone get an F? Chrome. Can we put out a list of our draft grades, maybe?
Yes. Just get everybody else to see. Yeah, good job, Hank, with your who's back. Thank you.
You have to hear who's back. My who's back in the week is Danny Woodhead. Yes. My guy, Danny Woodhead.
Our guy, Danny Woodhead. One of the OG, pardon my take, recurring guests. Maybe the best athlete that we've ever had on the show. He is very close to qualifying for the U.S.
Open in golf. Yeah. Very close. Yes.
He came in, I think, second or third place in the second final qualifying tournament last weekend. So if you finish this, I think it's like top five at the next tournament that he's in. He's in the U.S. Open.
Danny Woodhead's going to be playing in the U.S. Open. It's crazy. I have full confidence, Danny.
And I sent him a congratulatory note afterwards. I was like, hey, man, this is super impressive. And he told me, like, this is honestly the best athletic thing I've ever done in my life. He's better than Tony Romo at golf.
Right. And it is kind of crazy to think about how many people play golf. I mean, obviously, making the NFL is insane. But he's an exceptional athlete.
And then to transition and be this good at golf, it's fucking nuts, man. Yeah, you see, I think it was a birdie putt on 17 that he had, had an all-time walk-off celebration on it. Walked it in like Tiger Woods. Yeah, he did a little ass slap.
Yeah, Danny is a legit golfer. And I sometimes do this by tweeting without thinking. I said that if he makes the cut at the U.S. Open, I will cut every hair off my body.
Because the original bet was, if you already do every hair, you've got to do every hair. That's the best part of my body. Yeah, I know it is. I love my eyebrows.
Everyone knows I've got great eyebrows. Draw them on, draw them on for a little. No, eyebrows stay. Eyelashes come off.
I'll cut the eyelashes, but not the eyebrows. That would be freaky. Suns are down 42 going into this. It's a major week, by the way, for golf.
Yes, yes, yes. EJ Championship. I saw some of the beer prices that they have. People are freaking out about it.
It's going to be tough. There are going to be a lot of angry Oklahomans out there. Yeah. It's like $18 for a beer.
Coors Light would never do that. Bring in a fucking flash. Sneak a flash. Yeah, it's not that hard.
Okay, my who's back in the week is the Cincinnati Reds. For the sixth time in MLB history, they had a no-hitter, and they lost. Not to be the fact checker. Oh, I know, but they didn't technically pitch the ninth.
Yeah, so it's still. It's crazy. It's funny watching all the big J's out there carefully phrasing it. They allowed no hits.
Right, and they lost. Because they didn't pitch the bottom of the ninth because they lost. But all time, like, if the Reds season couldn't get worse, you have this happen, where in the eighth inning, they had three consecutive walks, and then a fielder's choice double play that they weren't able to, if they had gotten the double play, it would have stayed scoreless. But they weren't able to complete the double play, so they lost one to nothing and gave up no hits.
It's so perfect that it happened to the Pirates. I know. Like, the Unstoppable Force meets the Immovable Object. That's the only team that this could possibly happen.
Yes. And my other who's back is my voice. I got my voice back. I slept, and I got my voice back.
So thanks to everyone who's like, I want to kill myself. I want my voice to be back. I want my voice to be back so bad that I actually made a doctor's appointment. How do you like that?
I hope I fucking have cancer so everyone who says shit to me and just shove it back in their face. No, but it wouldn't. I'd dunk on all that. I'd pull up all the copies of that one and people would be like, I can't stand your voice.
And I'd be like, fuck you, dude. Knock on the wood. I got a real problem. No, but I'm back.
Billy's doing a great job pretending that he hopes that you don't have cancer. Yes, thank you, Billy. Billy's like, all right, so that seat I'll probably lower it a little because he sits too high. It's right next to the beer fridge, which is sick.
Like, low-key, that's the seat that I wear. But I'm going to see a doctor and see what I can do to not lose my voice all the time. But I am back. Right now, I felt good.
Slapped. Felt good. Felt good to have my voice back. Thank you for everyone who's actually concerned, not people who just bitching.
I was never concerned. All right, I appreciate that. But yeah, I know there were some people that got me triggered because, like, you don't think I care. It would be one thing if I was, like, partying and, like, smoking cigs and partying all the time and had no voice.
I just lost my voice because I don't sleep and we work a million hours. Oh, these Suns fans are so sad. As cool as they were when we watched them in the finals, they were very sad. The funniest guy in that building right now is the dude and you have September and October.
Yeah. At least, hey, at least you have John Hopkins is coming back for you guys this year. There we go. That would be nice.
That would be really nice. Yeah, big free agent. Pick up. Billy.
My who's back is Trash Pandas at the Arkansas-Vanderbilt college baseball game. There was a raccoon running through the stands and one brave gentleman by the name of Grant Harmon just grabbed the raccoon and just held it up for the whole crowd to see. It was a pretty awesome moment. Grant is such an obvious name for somebody that would be the person to handle the raccoon.
It's going to be a Grant or it's going to be a Zach. It was reported he had no prior experience grabbing raccoons because it's probably all Pfizer. Dogs get rabies vaccines like they get them over and over. They get them every year.
So why don't we do that? I think we have one that's just... I don't know. But if a dog got bit by a raccoon it would also have to go to the hospital.
Billy, if you told everybody in America they have to get a yearly rabies shot how many people do you think would follow through with that? A lot. You think so? No.
Where's your pest control guys have to get rabies shots? We all have a rabies vaccine. You're a kid. Not me, bro.
Is that not it? MMR is measles, mumps, rubella. I thought there was something... Remember that one time I woke up with a bat in my barn?
I was like... I played roulette. It was like I'm either going to die of rabies in six months or I have to go to the hospital to get these shots every three months. Yeah.
But dogs get rabies vaccines every year. You do get your dogs. You do do that. Yeah, but why can't they do that for humans?
I think it's every other year. You get the new tag for your dog. We should actually go... You should...
If anybody on earth should get a prophylactic rabies shot a preventative one just in case it should be you. Do you think anyone's selling fake dog vaccines for rabies? That'd be pretty fun. Probably.
Someone's like I don't believe even vaccinations for my dog. So there's a black market of you can get a fake tag. For sure. Also, what's the opposite of a bad beat?