Your Network Matters, But Your Weak Ties Matter More

It turns out the old saying “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” is annoyingly real — but for women, the “who” part often works differently, and less efficiently, than it does for men. Referrals lead us to our next job or opportunity or experience. First - let’s consider the referral network.  The research is clear: weak ties matter. That cousin you only see at Thanksgiving, the former coworker who still owes you a coffee, the mom from preschool pickup — those loose connections are often the ones that open doors. And in the digital age, the data still holds up: a little distance in your network can be a powerful thing. Not so distant that you’re strangers, not so close that you already know the same five things — just enough connection to create a new pathway. But here’s the catch: referral networks aren’t evenly distributed. Referrals are a major route to jobs, yet women are less likely than men to benefit from them. That’s not because women aren’t asking. It’s because the system often quietly favors men, especially in male-dominated spaces, where the “obvious candidate” in someone’s mind is still too often male. Add in the old boys’ club — golf games, drinks, fishing trips, and the deals that happen in rooms women aren’t invited into — and the gap starts to look a lot less mysterious. That’s why this episode isn’t about hustling harder or becoming a LinkedIn goblin. It’s about using the generous, invisible network women already build for each other — and making it more intentional. Is there an introduction you have been meaning to make? Do it. Forward the resume. Say the name in the room. Become the weak tie to the opportunity for another woman, and then become her intentional sponsor. Because women don’t just need more advice. We need more action.