You've Got Five Pages, Her Last Breath by Dan Padavona, to Tell Me You're Good.

The first chapter can make or break a reader's engagement with a story. We as writers must craft brilliant opening pages to hook those picky readers, so let's study the stories of others to see how they do it! The first chapter of Her Last Breath is a mixed bag. On the one hand, the build-up of the prostitute Erika being propositioned and then murdered by an unknown man in an SUV is paced fairly well with strong sensory details. We can see and feel the tension of the moment between the man calling to Erika and promising a big payout and Erika choosing to ride home with this man. Plus there is a logistical reason for Erika to accept a ride from this wealthy stranger--she's miles away from the city and needs a ride back. That isolation, even with a decaying resort motel in the background, helps readers feel the character's helplessness. How else can she get home? There are some struggles here as well, though, and these are struggles many of us writers face. We know we've got to establish the setting of our story, and establish it fast. However, we've got to think about what details the readers need here and now vs. what can wait. While the first paragraph introduces us to the prostitute cleaning up after a job at a motel, the second paragraph takes us through the history of that motel...and then we get back to the prostitute cleaning up again. It's an odd moment to hear a lot of information about the place, especially when she's going to leave it. Rundown motels outside of cities is not uncommon, so it would not have hurt to keep this initial context a bit more general so the plot's momentum can pick up speed instead. After all, a detective investigating a murder has all sorts of opportunities to learn the histories of locations--why not wait until then? These are the kinds of world-building choices we writers have to watch for. As tempting as it is to dive into the setting's history right away, do readers need it right away? Probably not. It never hurts to break that information up, and drop little bits when the needs arise for characters to learn it. And what will you find in these first five pages? Let's find out! Cheers!