All Episodes - 20First Dates
☁️🛸☁️the L O N E L Y lover- a journey -• lo-fi / pop vibes •• DIY quality demos •
View Podcast Details40 Episodes
the end is NEAR!!!
Wrote this one when everything felt like it was falling apart—online, in the world, in myself. It’s kind of me trying to smile through the panic, like… if I joke about the apocalypse, maybe it won’t hurt as much. It’s about feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and praying for something to change. This one sets the stage for Roadrunner, my upcoming project.
PS... im outta here (first take demo)
This song is an anthem of frustration, liberation, and self-reclamation. This track delves deep into the raw emotions of feeling unseen, the pain of rejection, and the power of letting go. With lyrics that walk the fine line between despair and defiance, it captures the journey of breaking free from toxicity and rediscovering strength within. While wrapping up the story, this song stands on it's on as a cathartic release for anyone who’s ever felt trapped but refused to stay down.
Holding out for hope (demo)
A song for anyone holding on by a thread. ‘Holding Out For Hope’ is about finding strength in the darkest moments and trusting that your future self will carry you through. Let this be your reminder: you are strong enough. 🌙✨
Nostalgia (demo)
A song about the war of being exactly here - letting go of what came before, and embracing the future. It's a final send off to an updated version of the self.
im so tired (demo)
On 'im so tired': a raw, introspective track that explores the exhaustion of constantly questioning one’s purpose and timing in life. With honest lyrics about feeling lost, frustrated, and on the edge of breaking, this song delves into the struggle of overcoming self-doubt and the longing for a breakthrough. Its haunting chorus and confessional verses resonate with anyone who’s felt stuck or overwhelmed by life’s challenges.
LAST GOODBYE (demo)
This song was written with my best friend, whose vocal is featured buried in the chorus, about the finality of leaving someone. It's about ending a relationship. It's a somber affair but in declaring a goodbye, you say you're ready to move on. You've examined all there is to examine about what made the relationship fail and it's time to close the chapter. to say your last goodbye. This is written from that place when you're ready to move on.
speak 2 me (demo)
This song was written from a place of desperation when I needed to hear. I needed the universe to speak to me. I needed to be moved. I needed a sign. So this song is for anyone who needs to hear something - to see a sign - for that next step in their life.
LOST! (demo)
Yeah I might be lost but im accepting that im exactly here. and through this - I will find my way.
Beulahland: A Dirge (demo)
Dedicated to my grandma, Diane. She passed on in May of this year. This is a cover / reinterpretation of one of her favorite gospel songs. She was always someone who invested in my dream and believed in me. She is missed everyday. I hope you enjoy my take on this.
Won't Look Back (demo)
MOVING ON! This song is about getting on with the story. Taking back your story and reframing it for you. This is an anthem!
Ocean Tide (demo)
After all is said and done.... and the shit you go through... you will arrive exactly where you want to be. this song is representative of that.
Doom (demo)
the general sense that you are FUCKKKKEDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!
Prototype (demo)
When you realize that the situation isn't in your best interest and you find your power in stating that it isn't for you....
but wait! (demo 1) prod dan darmawan
I wrote this song as a form of release. Through many personal trials and tribulations, it felt like nothing was working out in my favor. This song is reflective of that lived experience. When you feel all alone, and it's all your fault. You are left at the end of your rope. You don't have anything more to give. This song is about that.
4msd(10.11.01 - 10.27.23)_RIP.BBGRL (demo 1) prod. jake the birdy
For Morgan Skylar Dean - gone too soon. On Friday, October 27th, 2023, I lost someone new and dear to my heart. I can't wrap my head around it. It's been hard to comprehend that this person, that I was in the room when she was born, is now gone. It's hard. Grief is hard. I love you forever, Skylar. This is for you. This is an attempt to turn my grief into art.
LNC_BTS_A.S.S.mp3 (demo 1)
This is the beginning of PC (personal crisis part 2) In part one, we had to come to terms with the fact that we are in a personal crisis. And we left off calling out to the gods for help at the end of part 1. We admitted our truth, which makes us usually think we are good - like I admitted it and I can move on. It's the calm before another storm when the eye of the hurricane passes over. So this starts with that fantasy. LNC = late night call. This song is about doing the thing you don't want to do. making the late night call. telling destiny you want it. Produced by LEVEL BTS= between the sheets. This song is about how you thought doing the thing you don't want to do would inspire this great moment. that it would lead you to thing you want most. in this case, its intimacy. Produced by wurlishmouk but it's just a fantasy. because you still are on the path of a personal crisis. A.S.S or Another Sad Song . This skit is about how reality cuts through the simulation or the fantasy. and you have to deal with your shit. But you said no more sad songs - so instead you let the computer tell it for you. Now we can move along and get real again.... I put these 3 songs together because they don't stand on their own. They exist as one expression of a moment in my life. when the fantasy was interrupted by the fantasy. these are the demos. They may not sound complete but that's the point. like it was a fantasy... and reality disturbed that.
ica_FTP (demo 1) prod wurlishmouk
This is a song about being depressed. I can always feel the pressure. This one is also very personal to me.
sos (demo 1) prod Idly Blare
a song for when you feel sorry for yourself. you have to listen 4 times before it sinks in.
LG ft ChatGPT (demo 1) prod wurlishmouk
written during a panic attack. V PERSONAL
iis (demo 1) prod wurlishmouk
...i cant even look at u w/out feelin like ill stay
THE LOST FILES:// PC_personal_crisis
You may say "Blaine, this is a hard listen!" but ain't that how a personal crisis goes... The last year of my life has been chaos. I thought I was headed in one direction, but out of nowhere, I found myself in in the middle of a personal crisis. It has been unlike anything I've ever experienced. So I turned to music. I wanted to capture the moments of uncertainty. Each of the songs represents a different aspect of my identity crisis. it may be long, but it's a journey that I want you to experience the way I feel it. The Track list is as follows: 1. OSIRIS (intro) - part 1 2. wibOK? (Will I be okay?) 3. iis (If I stay) 4. IWSN! (I want something new!) 5. dwtc (Don’t Want To Change) 6. L.G. (Loaded Gun) ft. ChatGPT 7. sos (Symptom of a system) 8. ica_FTP (I can always feel the pressure) 9. HERMES (interlude) - part 2 - sponsored post 10. LNC (late night call) 11. BTS (between the sheets) 12. A.S.S (another sad song) - presented by iMac 13. 4msd(10.11.01-10.27.23)_RIP.bbgrl 14. but wait! (imoverthis)
IWSN! (demo 1) prod wurlishmouk
I WANT SOMETHING NEW, DAMNIT!
*BONUS* Hopeless Romantic (demo) prod Jonah Bru
This song was inspired by queer romance and relationships. As a queer person, I find that we are afraid to show our real love in the world because of fear even though our love is extremely real and passionate. I also thought of all the people who have died for expressing their love in the world. I wanted to write something from within a safe place about being scared to show it in a larger space. Taking that sacred love into the bigger world. This one is extremely sentimental to me. It is written as a safe space for people to feel the love they want to declare. It is written as a victory song. This is my love letter to the queer community. This is the first demo that was cut for the track. It is a work in progress, but I wanted my love to be sent into the world, so I thought I would share it in it's raw form. I just really mean the sentiment in this one. I put a lot of my heart into this one. Produced by Jonah Bru. I hope you find a connection to this one.
11. cₒₘₑ ₜₕᵣᵤ (dem0) prod leedz
When you've connected with someone and got good chemistry, you know you want them to come thru. Demo. work in progress. I gotta work on this QUALITY of the recording. but all in all... we learning Trying to experiment a bit. Its a headphonebanger Prod. by Leedz Beatz
![7. u like it [ps. check y or n] :)(dem0) prod wurlishmouk thumbnail](https://i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-WoalcRePLjAvXi4y-JH40uA-t3000x3000.jpg)
7. u like it [ps. check y or n] :)(dem0) prod wurlishmouk
This song was written during a very tough time for me. I wrote it back in 2019 as part of this larger vision I was creating. This is the emotional point that the story has been building to in my eyes. this is the moment where we all just so FUCK IT and leave the situation we were in. This one is very personal to me. But sometimes we don't want to deal with it, this is the sonification of admitting your truth and then moving on to better things. Prod. by the wonderful wurlishmouk. Deep and dance!
10. 𝔏𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔩𝔶 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯 - The Sequel (dem0) prod wurlishmouk
Possibly my favorite track! Lonely Lover - The Sequel reimagines the first part. This song is about reclaiming your narrative. WE ARE ALL THE LONLEY LOVER! Demo prod. by wurlishmouk (THANK YOU!!)
8. D♥e♥c♥a♥d♥e♥n♥c♥e (dem0) prod dongotbeats
what a damn break! This song is about the optimism after getting out of a toxic environment, when all things are possible. I couldn't wait to share with y'all. enjoy with me <3 Prod. by
4. N0N$3NC€ —> we fall so fast…. (dem0) prod wurlishmouk
The confusing feeling of feeling what you thought you've been wanting. Feels like we're running out of time, but we're just getting going. We fall so fast. Demo Prod. by wurlishmouk
2. CHATROOM!!!!!!!!! (dem0) prod detchrevz
Well that took a turn... but now that The Lonely Lover has you in its chatroom, what you gonna do? Prod. by DutchRevz
3. Dream Boy <3 (dem0) prod leedz
A digital distortion of a manifestation. THE LONELY LOVER BELIEVES THAT LOVE WILL WIN! A reminder that what you seek also seeks you <3 Keep going! Demo Prod. by Leedz Beatz
1. Clickbait.01 (dem0) prod jai
>> If your feeling lonely, give our lover a chance call (566)359-5687 That's the Lonely Lover
Complete (demo)
an intoxicated invocation for love. When things get blurry. Work in progress
6. ~**~*-{The Lonely Lover** pt 1}-*~**~ (dem0) prod wurlishmouk
a reckoning and a declaration. INTERLUDE Track produced by Wurlishmouk. An idea in progress... I've spent the better part of 3 years writing as the character called The Lonely Lover. This person, who feels like a robot alien, is always looking for love. But he keeps fucking it up. and this is the moment he realizes that he is his own problem. "Fuck it, I am a monster" -
9. L̸̖̽̌͂ā̤̓̍͘t̲̂̓ͩ̑ẹ̿͋̒̕ N̺̻̔̆ͅỉ͔͖̜͌ĝ̽̓̀͑ḣ̖̻͛̓t̲̂̓ͩ̑ C̵͉͋̔͞r̴̨̦͕̝y҉̃̀̋̑ (dem0) prod dongotbeats
When I come calling, you better answer THAT LATE NIGHT CRY 💧 a vibe. Track produced by dongotbeats Vocal arrangement ME
5. im.not.in.love </3 (dem0) prod fantom
... when the truth can no longer be ignored (first demo still tagged)- tester work in progress prod. by Fantom
GOLDEN (demo) prod. P Eazy & Solo Otto
there's a treasure inside that I know you can find - I'm golden (to feel good, press play) VIBE WITH ME Prod. by P Eazy & Solo Otto DEMO
Meant 2 Be (demo)
when it's meant to be, it's meant to be demo prod. Matthew may
Hot Toddy (demo) prod. Solo Otto
When something is good to you, it is good for you. The opposite of SZA's "I HATE U" it's like hyperr&bpop (a work in progress)
I Want Your Love (demo) prod. Austin Ramsey
let a good thing happen (demo) prod. Austin Ramsey