PODCAST · society
🎙️ Lov(ette) or Leave It
by Unfiltered insights grounded in lived experience and deep expertise.
The Lovette Jallow Perspective aka Lov(ette) or Leave It is a podcast that challenges societal norms and digs into the realities of neurodivergence, racial identity, and systemic bias in Sweden and beyond. Hosted by award-winning DEI speaker and neurodiversity consultant Lovette Jallow, each episode offers authentic insights from lived experience, tackling workplace inclusion, intersectionality, and the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals in a world built for neurotypicals. Bold truths, real conversations, and actionable change—this is the space where no topic is off-limits. lovettejallow.substack.com
Episodes
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Du kan inte meditera bort diskriminering i Sverige
Minoritetsstress börjar innan något har hänt När en vit klasskamrat gjorde ett misstag var det bara ett misstag. När jag gjorde ett misstag blev det ett bevis för att människor som jag inte hörde hemma där. Så jag lärde mig tidigt att prestera dubbelt så bra för att få samma erkännande. Jag hade...
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When Autistic Masking Teaches You to Distrust Yourself
This morning, I was sitting with my coffee thinking about how much quieter and peaceful my life has become since I started paying attention to my own autistic unmasking journey. When unmasked I spend far less time arguing myself out of things I have already noticed, far less time trying to make...
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Why Black Women Don’t Need White Women’s Allyship
I do not in my work teach Black women to seek allies, and I am not waiting for white women to decide whether my life belongs inside their feminism. Allyship as a label tells me very little; the choices people make when solidarity costs them access, comfort, status or belonging tell me far more....
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Call-Out Culture Has a Place, Most People Just Don’t Know Where
What do people actually mean when they say “call-out culture”? “The phrase itself is rarely neutral. It carries a judgement about how people are using critique, who is being centred, and whether the reaction is proportionate to the harm.” © Lovette Jallow. All rights reserved.No part of this...
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You Don't Look Disabled Is Not a Compliment
The phrase arrives packaged as kindness. Someone looks at you, takes in what they can immediately read, and offers it back: you don’t look disabled. They think they are being kind. They think they are reassuring you. What they have actually done is tell you precisely how narrow their frame of...
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Why Mother Wounds Follow You Into Relationships Even After You Move On
Why Do You Keep Choosing the Same Emotional Climate in Different People A mother wound can follow you into adulthood and disguise itself as chemistry. There’s a specific kind of ache that shows up in adult relationships that has nothing to do with the person in front of you. It shows up when you...
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What Precolonial Africa Can Teach Us About Nonspeaking Autism and Belonging
The Colonial Demand for Speech Nonspeaking autistic children in Black families are often treated as risks rather than as people communicating differently. When Black families raise nonverbal autistic children, silence is treated as danger rather than communication, and fear becomes the engine of...
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Why Do People Make Promises They Don't Keep?
Why Offers Without Follow-Through Plus Continued Interaction Is Extraction Two years ago, three people I had never met popped up and asked for my address. They wanted to send me postcards. Gifts. Little “thinking of you” tokens. I never asked. They offered, unprompted, and with the kind of...
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Why Late-Diagnosed Women Copy Those They Admire
Why Late-Diagnosed Autistic Women Copy Others: Understanding the Copying Instinct Some women are diagnosed early, others decades later, yet both can grow up without room to know themselves. Diagnosis alone never guaranteed identity. Many were taught to perform a version of acceptable womanhood...
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The Freelancer Who Weaponized Neurodivergence to Justify Taking Payment Without Delivering
When Scammers Pretend to Be Victims Davina Campbell’s DARVO Tactic and Narrative Theft This is where the story begins: with evidence, not emotion. The screenshot speaks for itself. Davina Campbell of Digital Davina Designs, publicly presenting herself as the victim after taking full payment for...
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Why Autistic People Over-Explain: Trauma, Safety, and Breaking the Harm Loop
8 Signs You’re Over-Explaining (Not Just Being Thorough) There’s a difference between being detailed and being driven by fear. One comes from competence. The other comes from a nervous system that learned survival depends on proof. Here’s how to tell which one you’re doing: * Your heart races…
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If You’re Autistic, You Are Disabled and That’s Not a Bad Thing
They still treat “disabled” like it’s a dirty word I was genuinely happy giddy, even to meet another autistic person twitching under the fluorescent lights at a conference. You know that silent bond when two nervous systems recognize each other? Same rhythm, same overstimulation, same grimace at...
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When Childhood Wounds Drive Adult Relationships
When Your Inner Child Drives the Car Survivors of trauma often ask, ‘Why is this space unsafe?’ But the real question shufts during healing to, ‘Why am I outsourcing my healing to spaces I haven’t vetted?’ Until we confront that, our inner child will keep driving our adult life straight back into...
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When Equality Is a Myth Sweden’s Disability Laws Leave Autistic and Disabled People to Collapse
When Equality Is a Myth Sweden’s Disability Laws Leave Autistic and Disabled People to Collapse When we pass someone sleeping rough or hear of a person in crisis lashing out in public, the easy story is to blame the individual. But behind every autistic or disabled person who ends up homeless,...
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Why So Many Neurodivergent Women Discover ADHD and Autism During Perimenopause
When the Mask Starts Cracking in Perimenopause Perimenopause doesn’t cause collapse. It unmasks the years you spent performing survival. The first thing women often notice is not a dramatic collapse but the small cracks. The fog that settles in the middle of a sentence. The way a crowded room...
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Why CBT Fails So Many Autistic People
What Therapy Missed When I Asked for More Than Symptom Management I didn’t want a mindset shift. I wanted the systems hurting me to stop. Many years ago, I walked into a therapist’s office after spending months vetting the right one for CBT. I came prepared. Autistic burnout, CPTSD, and a…
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Why Small Talk Exhausts Autistic and ADHD People
Why Small Talk Feels Like Work for Autistic and ADHD People Small talk is never just small… For autistic and ADHD people, the discomfort you feel around it is valid because others use it to quietly gather information you may not even realize you’re giving, simply because you don’t see the world...
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Why Treating People How You Want To Be Treated Hurts Relationships
The Problem With Assuming Your Version of Care Fits Everyone Care that starts with projection will miss the person in front of you. I once made tea for a friend the way I like it, strong and sweet. She took one sip and set it down. She can’t have sugar. I thought I was being kind. I offered a...
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Why Men Don’t Marry the Women They Desire
How Patriarchy Conditions Male Desire and Marriage Choices I was 18, studying in Gambia for seven months, when my grandmother noticed how many men were circling and sat me down. “You are of high status,” she said. “Intelligent. Beautiful. Mashallah. But you see these men lining up to ask for your...
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What If Giving Grace to Others While Ignoring Yourself Is Just Another Form of Masking?
What Grace Really Means When You Stop Performing Grace has become a brand. A way to posture goodness. But what if real grace doesn’t start with what you extend to others, it starts with what you’re finally willing to offer yourself? During one of the hardest chapters of my life, I was forced to…
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Who Qualifies as a Friend?
Why Your Partner Isn’t Automatically My Friend Friendship isn’t a blanket you throw over everyone you like. It’s a pact that requires care, choice, and accountability. I think about friendship like this: If I have a list of things I need in a friend, and you match that list beautifully, that’s…
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When Anti-Racism Becomes Degradation Kink for White People
How White Guilt Hijacks Anti-Racism Work If your shame demands to be held but nothing is given up, it’s not justice. It’s extraction. - Lovette Jallow We’ve all seen it. Comments saying, “I’m so ashamed of being white.” Tearful Instagram Lives declaring, “I’m disgusted with my ancestors.” DMs to...
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When White People Use Autism to Justify Their Racism
Being Diagnosed Autistic as a Black Woman Across Three Continents I didn’t get to self-diagnose and be believed. I had to prove myself on three continents. I know what it costs to be taken seriously as autistic. Not the aesthetic of autism. Not the neurodivergence they romanticize when they want…
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LBee Health and Lauren Howard Exposed: Fraudulent ADHD and Autism Assessments
When ADHD and Autism Assessments Become Exploitation: Why This Investigation Exists This is an evidence-based investigation documenting how LBee Health marketed itself as a safe, neuro-affirmative space while selling unregulated assessments to some of the most vulnerable members of the autistic…
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Why Neurodivergent People Need Honest Friends
What Are Blind Spots in Neurodivergent Relationships? “My grandmother taught me there’s a difference between friends and advisors. Not all friends are advisors—but some friends hold both roles. It’s important to know which is which, and treat them accordingly.” I grew up hyperlexic, I read before…
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Why We Don’t Know How to Repair Relationships Anymore
Why We Fail at Repairing Relationships and Community Some parents didn’t teach us how to love, they taught us how to punish. I pay attention to people, and one thing I’ve learned is that in so many households, rupture was met with silence, withdrawal, or threats. Repair wasn’t a process, it was a...
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When She Stayed Still Enough to Let Me In
Welcome to Slow Like This A neurodivergent sapphic fiction series about desire, consent, and the intimacy of being deeply noticed. These are stories where I write from my neurodivergence—where pacing is shaped by alexithymia, sound by auditory processing, and desire by sensory attunement. Love...
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Don’t Be a Deadbeat to Your Inner Child
From Survival to Reenactment: The Quiet Tragedy of Trauma Loops You’re grown now.But some part of you—some younger version—is still responding for you. You survived the wound. But survival doesn’t teach repair. That’s learned later—if at all. You still bracing for abandonment. Still flinching at...
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Asexuality Isn’t Absence - It’s a Different Kind of Fullness
Asexuality Has Always Existed—Even Without a Name Before the labels, there was already recognition. Before I ever knew the word asexual, I had already lived the experience. In many precolonial African societies, there were people who were not driven by sexual desire. Not out of repression or...
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The Psychology of a Hater: How Their Obsession Built My Growth
The Hidden Lessons: How Critics and Enemies Sharpened My Growth There are moments in life when feedback arrives wrapped not in kindness, but in hostility. Sometimes, the most honest feedback comes laced with hostility—delivered by those rooting for your failure, whether out of envy, resentment…
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Are You Practicing Feminism or Just Gynarchy? | Matriarchy vs Patriarchy Explained
Feminism, Gynarchy, or Matriarchy? Lov(ette) or Leave It — Episode 4: This episode is drawn from a recorded expert lecture on matriarchal governance, patriarchal systems, and feminist theory, originally delivered to researchers, policy advisors, and institutional leaders across three continents.…
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Self-Care That Works for Autistic and Neurodivergent Women | Love(tte) or Leave It – Ep. 3
Self-Care That Makes Sense for Autistic and Neurodivergent Women I’m Lovette Jallow, autistic, ADHD, and committed to sharing tools that center self-respect, not self-optimization. I write for those of us who live at the intersection of sensory overwhelm, survival planning, and emotional nuance....
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The Manipulative Tactic of Overfamiliarity
ot everyone who calls you ‘sis’ or ‘bro’ actually means it. Overfamiliarity is often a manipulation tactic—a way for people to fast-track relationships, bypass boundaries, and gain access to your time, resources, or emotional energy without actually earning trust. For autistic individuals, who…
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Understanding Autistic Loneliness: When You’re Surrounded But Still Alone
Understanding Autistic Loneliness: When You’re Surrounded But Still Alone I’m Lovette Jallow, an award-winning author, speaker, and consultant specializing in neurodiversity, intersectionality, and human rights. As a Black Autistic woman with ADHD (AuDHD), I know what it’s like to exist in spaces...
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
The Lovette Jallow Perspective aka Lov(ette) or Leave It is a podcast that challenges societal norms and digs into the realities of neurodivergence, racial identity, and systemic bias in Sweden and beyond. Hosted by award-winning DEI speaker and neurodiversity consultant Lovette Jallow, each episode offers authentic insights from lived experience, tackling workplace inclusion, intersectionality, and the challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals in a world built for neurotypicals. Bold truths, real conversations, and actionable change—this is the space where no topic is off-limits.
lovettejallow.substack.com
HOSTED BY
Unfiltered insights grounded in lived experience and deep expertise.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does 🎙️ Lov(ette) or Leave It have?
🎙️ Lov(ette) or Leave It currently has 35 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is 🎙️ Lov(ette) or Leave It about?
The Lovette Jallow Perspective aka Lov(ette) or Leave It is a podcast that challenges societal norms and digs into the realities of neurodivergence, racial identity, and systemic bias in Sweden and beyond. Hosted by award-winning DEI speaker and neurodiversity consultant Lovette Jallow, each...
How often does 🎙️ Lov(ette) or Leave It release new episodes?
🎙️ Lov(ette) or Leave It has 35 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
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You can listen to 🎙️ Lov(ette) or Leave It on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts 🎙️ Lov(ette) or Leave It?
🎙️ Lov(ette) or Leave It is created and hosted by Unfiltered insights grounded in lived experience and deep expertise..
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