Big Stuff With Danielle Colley

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textDid you know there are over 48 symptoms of perimenopause — and the average woman is experiencing more than five of them at once, without realising any of them are hormonal?In this episode, Danielle gets into the weird, the unexpected, and the frankly baffling symptoms that can show up years before you'd ever think to look at your hormones. From itchy feet in bed at night to ringing ears, from rage that comes from nowhere to a quiet loss of confidence that creeps in and makes you feel like a stranger in your own head — these are the symptoms that send women to three different specialists before someone finally mentions perimenopause.Danielle shares her own story of realising she'd been in perimenopause for five or six years without knowing — including a frozen shoulder, excruciating ovulation she describes as "passing a puppy," and the slow, scary erosion of the confidence she'd spent decades building.She also gets into why this matters beyond the physical: why women at this life stage are more likely to be misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression, why doctors often dismiss symptoms in women under 50, and the research that shows this is one of the most vulnerable windows in a woman's life — and one of the most under treated.This one is for every woman who has Googled "am I allergic to myself" at 2am with itchy feet. You're not. It's your hormones. And now you know.Resources mentioned - Big Stuff Episode 7 - ADHD and PerimenopauseThe Chocolate Bar Life - Danielle ColleyWellFemme  - online menopause doctors  •       0:00 The stat that stopped me: 48 symptoms, 5 at once•       1:30 Danielle's story•       4:00 Symptom 1 — Brain fog and losing words•       7:30 Symptom 2 — Confidence dropping for no reason•       10:30 Symptom 3 — Frozen shoulder (and what actually fixed it)•       15:30 Symptom 4 — The angry egg•       19:00 The doctor problem•       21:00 Symptom 5 — The Rage Monster.•       25:30 Symptom 6 — Anxiety that comes out of nowhere•       29:30 Symptom 7 —  "What's the point" •       32:00 Symptom 8 — Itchy burning skin (including your feet)•       35:00 Symptom 9 — Ear weirdness•       37:00 Why this matters•       40:00 What helps 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textUrsula Kohler has spent 30 years being the woman behind the power. The one in the room holding it all together while everyone else loses the plot. Through her businesses Capital EA and Bear Consulting, she has trained, supported and recruited the executive assistants and operators that keep some of Australia's most high-profile leaders functioning at their best — politicians, board members, government department heads. This year she was personally invited by the President of the Senate to speak at Australian Parliament House for International Women's Day. She consults to traditional owners in remote North Queensland. She is, by any measure, a seriously impressive human.And then her marriage ended. Catastrophically. And the very thing that was blamed for the breakdown — her business, her drive, her ambition — turned out to be the thing that carried her through.This conversation covers grief, purpose, the ancestral lines that shape who we are, what it actually takes to earn the trust of powerful people, and what happens when a woman who has said yes to everyone else finally starts saying yes to herself.TIMESTAMPS:0:00 — Introduction2:30 — The messy middle10:00 — Ancestry, migration, war, and the things that are passed down without ever being taught17:00 — What it actually takes to be the person powerful people trust24:00 — Putting your hand up 29:00 — Everything on the other side of fear is growth36:00 — The marriage41:00 — Purpose as the lifeline43:30 — On country in Palm Island49:00 — Australian Parliament House, International Women's Day, and what it means to stand in that room as that voice52:00 — Caring for a mother with dementia 56:30 — What's next:58:30 — Closing reflection and two thinking pointsCONNECT WITH URSULA: Instagram -⁠ @Capital EA ⁠⁠@urskoh⁠Linkedin - ⁠Ursula Kohler⁠CONNECT WITH DANIELLE: Instagram: ⁠@iamdaniellecolley ⁠Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textMost of us walk around cataloguing what's missing. The goal we haven't hit, the body that isn't enough, the life that doesn't quite measure up yet. Kerryn Harvey woke up from a ten-day coma with one arm and saw a miracle.In 2013, Kerryn contracted necrotising fasciitis — flesh-eating bacteria — from a minor cycling accident. Within 30 hours she was unconscious. She survived on a 5% chance, losing her right arm and shoulder in the process. What followed wasn't just a recovery story. It was a complete rebuilding of a life — on purpose, and with her eyes wide open.Kerryn has since won medals at the Paratriathlon World Championships, completed two Ironmans (one after the amputation), run twelve marathons in twelve months for charity, and is currently working her way through the six Abbott World Marathon Majors. She is also the author of Mostly Ups.But none of that is really the point of this conversation. The point is what Kerryn sees when she looks at her life — and why most of us can't see the same thing when we look at ours.Kerryn is real proof that the version of yourself you haven't met yet might be the most extraordinary one. Not because something catastrophic has to happen first — but sometimes it takes something major to show us that the way we've been looking at our lives is upside down. We're scanning for the deficit when the miracle is sitting right there.Chapter Markers00:00 — Introduction 03:00 —  Why Iron Man is nothing compared to what she's been through 08:30 — The cycling accident and the fight for her life 16:00 — The confusion and the grief 21:00 — How she survived the emotional side24:30 — What is necrotising fasciitis, and why it's terrifyingly ordinary 28:30 — Running toward or running away? 32:00 — This wasn't her first battle 36:30 — Allowing herself to fall in love — and what life's too short really means 38:30 — How she feels about this body, this life, and what's changed 43:00 — The difference between living every day as if it's your last and living every day with joy 46:00 — The 2018 Ironman start line: what it felt like to be back 51:00 — Seeing the miracle, not the deficit — and how that shift actually happened 54:00 — The six Marathon Majors and what's next 56:30 — Radical acceptance, small goals, and opening doors 58:30 — Thinking points and closeResources and LinksKerryn's book Mostly Ups — available August 17. Find her at kerrynharvey.comFind Kerryn on InstagramNine Lives Training — Kerryn's personal training business based in MelbourneIf this episode landed with you, share it with one person who needs to hear it. Leave a comment, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and I'll see you next time for more Big Stuff.

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text“I love what I do… but am I limiting myself financially?”This How Are You Really? episode is inspired by a listener question that hits closer to home than most of us would like to admit.What happens when you’re motivated by meaning, impact, and being genuinely helpful… but struggle to ask for money, raise your prices, or advocate for your worth?In this episode, Danielle unpack's the tension between purpose and ambition — and why the story we tell ourselves about money isn’t always the truth.We explore:– Why being “not money motivated” isn’t always what it seems– The hidden link between self-worth and income– How values and fear can look identical on the surface– Why undercharging leads to resentment (even when you love your work)– The real reason you avoid money conversations– How to identify where you might be holding yourself backPlus, practical prompts to help you reflect on your own patterns and start shifting them.Because purpose and profit aren’t opposites.And charging what you’re worth isn’t greed — it’s self-respect.If you have a question you want Danielle to dig into, email ping her on instagram@iamdaniellecolley or reach out at [email protected]

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textWe’ve never known more about relationships.Attachment styles. Red flags. Narcissism. Trauma bonds.We can diagnose a relationship in under 60 seconds… or at least we think we can.But what if all this information isn’t actually helping?In this episode, I’m joined by clinical psychologist Dr Michelle Olathe to unpack what’s really going on when therapy language goes viral — and how it might be distorting the way we see our partners, ourselves, and our relationships.In this episode:– Why “therapy speak” can oversimplify complex relationship dynamics– The difference between real patterns and reactive labeling– How social media amplifies insecurity and misinterpretation– What attachment theory actually means (without the jargon)– Why conflict is normal — and what healthy relationships really look like– The single biggest predictor of long-term relationship success– How to take ownership of your part (without self-blame)– A simple tool to help you understand your own patternsThis is a conversation about nuance, responsibility, and the messy, unglamorous reality of doing relationships well.Because the framework isn’t the finish line.And the work… is still the work.Chapters:00:00 Introduction03:00 Why everyone's ex is a narcissist — the rise of therapy speak10:00 Pathologising the shit bits: where labels help and where they don't17:00 Attachment theory explained simply26:00 How social media amplifies our insecurities33:00 Owning your part — the bins, the napkins, and the death of a thousand cuts42:00 What healthy relationships actually look like50:00 How to do the self-reflection work — and why friends aren't enough58:00 The mood diaryThinking points:Next time you're heated with your partner, notice whether your nervous system is telling you that they are the threat — or whether it's something outside both of you. That distinction changes everything about what you do next.And when did you last track your own patterns? Not theirs. Yours. Michelle's mood diary suggestion is deceptively simple. Try it for a week.Resources mentioned:Free Relationship Reality Guide — Online Psychologists AustraliaThe Gottman Institute — gottman.comDr Helen Fisher — TED Talk: The Brain in LoveHealthBright — healthbright.com.auDr Michelle Olaithe — The Sleep PsychologistIf this episode resonated, share it with one person who needs it. And don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Find out more about Danielle at daniellecolley.com.au

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textHave you ever walked into a room — a meeting, a new job, a boardroom — and felt that quiet, creeping sense that someone is about to find you out? That somehow you've tricked your way in and it's only a matter of time before everyone works that out?That feeling has a name: imposter syndrome. And in this How Are You Really? episode, Danielle gets into what it actually is, why it hits hardest precisely when you've most earned your place, and — most importantly — what to do about it. Drawing on her own experience walking into the Women's Weekly newsroom as a blogger among award-winning career journalists, and the stories of women she coaches across high-stakes industries, Danielle unpacks the real reason so many capable, accomplished women still feel like frauds: their self-concept simply hasn't caught up to the person they've already become.Episode Chapters0:00 — Welcome 2:30 — The Women's Weekly story: earning your place, and the trap that comes with it 8:00 — What imposter syndrome actually feels like, and why it lives at every new level 13:00 — The software problem: old programs running in the background 19:30 — Three ways to start catching up to yourself 23:00 — Two questions to sit with before you close this appThree Ways to Manage Imposter SyndromeAudit the evidence, not the feelingUpdate the story — retire the old narrativeAct like the version of you who has already arrivedFind Danielle Website:⁠ daniellecolley.com.au ⁠Instagram:⁠ @daniellecolley ⁠Got a question for a How Are You Really? episode? Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠ or DM her on Instagram

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textMelinda Schneider has been on stage since she was three years old. She's released fourteen albums, won six Golden Guitars, sold out the Sydney Opera House more than once, and just debuted at number one on the ARIA charts. By every measure, she is a success story.But in this conversation, Melinda shares what was quietly happening behind all of it — the perfectionism that drove her, the workaholism she couldn't stop, and the breakdown at 47 that finally forced her to put it all down. She talks about the flags she ignored for years, her resistance to accepting help, the terror of going public with her mental health story, and what it's actually taken to rebuild a life that feels good from the inside.This is a conversation about the cost of performing perfect — and what becomes possible when you finally stop.Connect with Melinda: Website:⁠ melindaschneider.com.au ⁠Instagram: ⁠@melindaschneiderofficial⁠The Barbra Streisand show The Way We Were tours nationally from August — including the Sydney Opera House Concert Hall.Find out more about Danielle at ⁠daniellecolley.com.au⁠Or follow her on Istagram - ⁠@iamdaniellecolley⁠TIMESTAMPS00:00 — Introduction 05:00 — What it's really like being a successful working artist 09:30 — Where does expectation end and you begin? 11:30 — The perfect impersonation of perfect — and the collapse at 47 20:00— What she was most afraid of: being a disappointment 23:00 — The flags she ignored 27:30 — The trigger, the breakdown, and going to bed30:30 — Resisting medication — and why surrendering to it was the hardest part 34:00 — "Should is shit" — reprogramming the critical inner voice 40:30 — The sandwich generation46:00 — The number one album and what success feels like now 52:00 — Painting with her mum, "I wonder what will happen," and letting go of perfectionism 55:30 — What's next: touring, the Barbra Streisand show, keeping the balance 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textWhat if the clutter in your home isn't just stuff — it's a story you're still telling about yourself? In this episode, Danielle sits down with Cindy Kavanagh, former fashion photographer turned Swedish Death Cleaning practitioner, for a conversation about identity, letting go, and what's left when you strip it all back.Cindy spent over thirty years making women look and feel extraordinary — first through fashion photography, then through her portrait studio The Modern Muse, and then through a Masters of Art degree exploring identity and belonging. Now she's doing the most radical thing she's ever done: clearing it all away. Her accumulated beautiful life, her professional identity, and the roles she's been playing — and helping others do the same through the Scandinavian practice of Swedish Death Cleaning. Not because life got bad, but because she started to wonder what was actually left when you stopped holding onto the proof of who you once were.This one goes deep. Danielle and Cindy talk about the grief of an empty nest arriving earlier than expected, the quiet liberation of choosing simplicity after decades of accumulating, and why your home might be the most honest mirror of who you really are. There's also a bumblebee. A large one. CHAPTERS00:00 — Introduction 03:30 — Meet Cindy: from fashion photographer to Swedish Death Cleaner 08:00 — Selling dreams, not dresses: the heart behind the camera 15:00 — Danielle's dad's sailing journal and the art of honouring what matters 22:00 — What Swedish Death Cleaning actually is (and isn't) 28:00 — How your home reflects your internal state 33:00 — Sentimental objects, obligation, and letting go with love 40:00 — The empty nest: grief arriving earlier than expected 46:00 — Joy and grief in each pocket: the duality of life's transitions 53:00 — What simplicity looks like after a life of accumulating 59:00 — Your home as a mirror: the five objects questionRESOURCES MENTIONEDThe Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta MagnussonHOW TO FIND CINDYCindy's business: Simplify with CindyInstagram - @simplify_with_cindyEnjoyed this episode? Share it with one person who needs to hear it. And if you want to get in touch or submit your own How Are You Really, reach Danielle at [email protected] or @iamdaniellecolley

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textHave you ever completely lost your cool with your kid and then spent the next hour feeling like the worst parent alive? Family therapist and author of The Perfect Parent Trap, Lisa Taylor, has spent 25 years sitting across from families in crisis — and what she'll tell you is that in almost every single case, the child is not the problem. In this deeply honest conversation, Danielle and Lisa get into the real reason the teenage years can feel less like raising a family and more like surviving one, and what you can do about it.Lisa introduces her concept of "Heartprints" — the invisible imprints from our own childhood that quietly drive our reactions under stress. When your teenager slams a door or goes into full shutdown, the heat you feel rising in your chest? That's rarely about them. This conversation is warm, practical, and full of the kind of insights that will make you stop mid-scroll and think: oh, that's me.In this episode:0:00 Introduction4:30 Why parenting feels unsolvable9:00 Behaviour is information, not a problem to fix12:00 What's happening in your teenager's brain17:00 Heartprints: how your childhood drives your reactions24:00 Does the inner work ever end?29:00 When your kid completely shuts down34:30 Parenting from fear vs love39:00 Why taking things away doesn't work43:30 Screens and the technology experiment49:00 Spicy brains, blended families and unmet needs53:00 Protecting your relationship through the teen years57:00 Why repair is more powerful than perfection1:01:00 The five fundamentals1:04:30 Danielle's thinking pointsResources mentioned: The Perfect Parent Trap by Lisa Taylor — available at Amber Press, Amazon, Booktopia and good bookstores Lisa's website: strengtheningfamiliesaustralia.com.au Lisa on Instagram: @lisataylor.auConnect with Danielle: daniellecolley.com.au  [email protected] @iamdaniellecolley

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textIn this episode, Danielle sits down with double ARIA Award-winning musician, Elana Stone, to explore what it really means to build a sustainable creative life when the entire economic system has shifted underneath you. Twenty years into a career what looks successful from the outside - international tours, collaborations with incredible artists, awards and recognition - Elana opens up about the gap between external achievement and internal reality. They dive deep into the brutal economics of streaming (spoiler: you need over a million streams a month just to earn minimum wage), the necessity of doing "everything" as an independent artist, and why creative sustainability often means piecing together multiple revenue streams rather than chasing the singular dream of "making it."But this conversation goes beyond industry economics. Elana and Danielle discuss the ego death that comes from loss and parenting, the tension between what we think we're supposed to want and what actually sustains us, and why community music-making - like the choir Elana leads - creates the kind of resonance and flow that reminds us why we do creative work in the first place. From Elizabeth Gilbert's "one hour a day" practice to the question of whose definition of success we're actually following, this episode asks: How do you stay the course as a creative when it's so unreliable and uncertain? And what will matter more than any award or recognition when you're looking back at 80?00:00 - Introduction03:45 - The Gap Between Success and Reality13:15 - The Economics of Streaming: How Musicians Actually Earn24:30 - Working in the Cracks: Multiple Creative Streams31:45 - Ego Death and Redefining What Matters40:30 - Why Choir Matters: Flow, Resonance, and Community48:00 - Creative Practice: Elizabeth Gilbert's One Hour a Day59:30 - What's Next and Letting Go of Old Dreams62:15 - Final Question: What Will Matter at 80?Books mentioned: Big Magic by Elizabeth GilbertSignature of All Things by Elizabeth GilbertYou can find Elana's latest album tagged below, and find her at IG: ⁠@elanastoneworld⁠WWW: ⁠elanastone.com.au⁠Support live music. Buy merch. Go to gigs.

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textWhat happens when a Muay Thai champion decides the real fight isn't in the ring—it's saving boys from the stereotypes that are killing them?Richie Hardcore knows exactly what happens when boys grow up watching men solve problems with fists and bottles. His father's severe alcoholism and the family violence that came with it could have destroyed him. Instead, it became his mission.Now, as a White Ribbon ambassador and TEDx speaker, Richie walks into schools across Australia and New Zealand having the conversations most adults are too scared to have. He tells teenage boys it's okay to cry, to feel confused, to not have it all figured out. He works with incarcerated young men through The Rise Above Charitable Trust, showing them the violence can stop with them.But here's what's keeping me up at night after this conversation: our boys are struggling more than we realize. They're ordering hard drugs via Uber. They're learning about sex from pornography that teaches the opposite of intimacy. They're consuming manosphere content that's gone mainstream—not Andrew Tate anymore (he's "cringe now") but gym influencers and self-help bros peddling the same dangerous messages about what it means to be a man.And they're desperate for someone to tell them it's okay to take off the mask.This is essential listening if you're:Raising or teaching boys and watching them shut down emotionallyWorried about gender violence in your communityTrying to understand what healthy masculinity actually looks like in practiceConcerned about online radicalization and manosphere influence on young menLooking for actual conversations to have with the boys in your lifeCONTENT WARNINGThis episode contains frank discussions of family violence, alcoholism, substance abuse, sexual violence, domestic abuse, and the impact of pornography on young people. Listener discretion advised.Resources mentioned - Jess Hill - "⁠See What You Made Me Do" ⁠(book on domestic violence and gender violence)Jess Hill -⁠ "Asking For It" ⁠(SBS documentary on consent culture)⁠The Rise Above Charitable Trust ⁠- Richie's organization working with incarcerated youth⁠Our Watch (Australia)⁠ - Gender violence prevention resourcesCONNECT WITH RICHIE HARDCORE⁠On Instagram⁠⁠On Website⁠If you enjoyed this episode, please share with just one person. Connect with Danielle at [email protected] or on ⁠Instagram⁠

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textWhat happens when a tipsy joke about not being fun anymore cracks a marriage wide open?A few weeks ago, I sat across from my husband at a café and told him he could leave. Not in anger - in complete pragmatic calm. These are my kids, this is my circus, you don't have to be here. If you want long lunches, freedom, a life without constant teenage conflict - you can have it. I won't hate you. I won't f#ck you over financially.He laughed awkwardly. Then we both realised I was deadly serious.This episode is about what led to that conversation - a flippant comment that stung because it was true, two external stories that reframed how I think about relationships ending, and what happened when we stripped away all the obligation and ownership and just asked: are we actively choosing this, or are we just existing in it out of habit?It's messy. It's vulnerable. It's about grief and boredom and what it means to consciously choose your relationship every single day instead of white-knuckling through the hard bits hoping there's something left at the end.And it's about rage rooms, sunset picnics, and whether "I'm bored and I don't want this anymore" is actually a valid reason to leave - or to stay and rebuild on purpose.Key Timestamps0:00 - Cold open: "You can leave. I won't hate you."3:08 - The joke that wasn't funny5:15 - The 30-year marriage that ended over boredom7:25 - The couple who chose each other in 10-year increments10:45 - Stripping away the "till death do us part" narrative12:15 - The get out of jail free card conversation14:30 - What happened when we talked again15:45 - Date night reimagined (rage rooms > wine bars)17:15 - The dinner table tinderbox19:30 - Three entities: you, them, and the relationship21:00 - "I don't know if we'll always choose each other"22:45 - Two thinking points for youThinking PointsAre you in your relationships because you're actively choosing them - or because you're on autopilot?Romantic, platonic, family - are you there out of desire or habit? What would change if you gave yourself (and them) genuine permission to choose differently?Where in your life are you actively, mindfully choosing to put your energy - and where are you just habitually existing? This applies to relationships, yes, but also careers, thinking patterns, daily routines. What needs conscious choice instead of default mode?Mentioned in This Episode"Less" by Andrew Sean GreerRage rooms as date night activity (highly recommend)ConnectFind me at daniellecolley.com.auShare this episode with someone navigating their own relationship crossroadsDrop a comment - I'd love to hear your thoughts on conscious choice vs. default mode in relationships

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textLooking for love makes you vulnerable. And vulnerability? That's where shame lives.Kylee Dennis knows this better than most. When her mum got love scammed after 25 years of being single, the thing that hurt more than the money lost was watching her carry the shame of it—too embarrassed to ask for help, too mortified to admit she'd wanted connection badly enough to believe someone who wasn't real.Kylee spent nearly 14 years as a detective doing intelligence ops, undercover work, and crisis negotiations. She knew how predators operated. But what she didn't know until her mum's scam was how powerfully shame protects the criminals.So she went undercover herself—creating fake profiles as a 67-year-old man and a 62-year-old woman to see exactly how scammers weaponize our longing for connection. What she found? Scams aren't about intelligence. They're about manipulation. And the vulnerability that comes with wanting love makes all of us targets.This isn't just about romance scams. It's about shame, vulnerability, and the cost of staying silent.Timestamps & Chapters00:00 - Intro: The Vulnerability of Looking for Love02:45 - When Kylee's Mum Got Scammed07:30 - "I Just Feel Stupid": The Language of Shame12:15 - Going Undercover on Dating Apps18:40 - What Scammers Really Do (and How They Share Tactics)24:20 - Life as a Female Detective in the 1980s32:50 - "Men, Police Dogs, Then Police Women"38:15 - The Pawn Shop Undercover Operation43:00 - Identity Loss: From Detective to Stay-at-Home Mum48:30 - "I Was Just a Plus Guest"52:10 - Finding Purpose Through Two Face Investigations56:20 - The Power of Helping Just One Person58:45 - TikTok Scammer Universities & Dark Rituals63:15 - Human Trafficking & Scam Compounds in Myanmar66:40 - "Where Is the Money Going?"68:30 - How to Stay Safe: Pause, Check, Ask70:15 - Final Wisdom on Shame & the VaultConnect with Kylee:Instagram: @twofaceinvestigationsWebsite: twofaceinvestigations.auDating Safety Tips:PAUSE - Look at the profile carefullyCHECK - Verify photos using reverse image searchASK - Get a trusted friend or family member to review the profileMEET - Always meet in person in a safe, public locationTELL SOMEONE - Keep people in the loop about who you're talking toIf You've Been Scammed:Contact your bank immediatelyReport to Scamwatch (Australia): scamwatch.gov.auTell someone you trust—shame thrives in silenceSupport the ShowIf this episode resonated with you, please:Share it with someone who needs to hear itLeave a rating and reviewSubscribe so you never miss an episodeConnect with Danielle:Website: daniellecolley.com.auInstagram: @iamdaniellecolleyEmail: [email protected]

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textYour body's keeping secrets from you. Not because it wants to hide things, but because you've been taught to ignore, shove down, and repress experiences, thoughts, and feelings you haven't had the time or resources to handle. That knot in your stomach when you say yes but mean no? Your body remembers. The exhaustion you can't explain? Your body is screaming. The anxiety that shows up for "no reason"? Your body has reasons - you're just not listening.In this Big Stuff summer series episode, host Danielle Colley explores the concept that our bodies don't just keep the score of trauma - they keep the story. Drawing from Bessel van der Kolk's groundbreaking work and somatic psychologist Ailey Jolie's research on women's nervous systems, Danielle weaves together three powerful stories of bodies that refused to be ignored any longer.Carolyn's hair fell out in clumps, forcing her to redefine identity beyond appearance in an industry obsessed with looks. Danielle shares her own crash at 47 - perimenopause stripping away the coping mechanisms that had hidden undiagnosed ADHD for decades. And Preston O'Brien's body held childhood sexual abuse and decades of shame until he learned that healing wasn't about stopping behaviours - it was about learning to feel again.This isn't about fixing your body. It's about finally hearing what it's been trying to tell you.Chapters:[00:00] Introduction - Your Body's Keeping Secrets[03:40] Carolyn Ozkoseoglu - When Your Hair Falls Out in Clumps[08:25] Autoimmune Diseases and the Stress Connection[11:30] The Betrayal of Changing Bodies (Pregnancy, Aging, Illness)[15:20] Danielle's Panic Attack - Body Keeping Score After Mum's Death[18:45] The Crash at 47 - Not Wanting to Get Out of Bed[22:30] Perimenopause Unmasking ADHD After 47 Years[26:15] Preston O'Brien - Pinky the Teddy Bear and Childhood Trauma[30:40] How the Body Stores Trauma (Whiskey, Tobacco, Sensory Memories)[34:20] Women's Bodies Keep the Story, Not Just the Score[37:50] Learning to Listen - What Is Your Body Trying to Tell You?Total Episode Time: 41:15Guests Featured:Carolyn Ozkoseoglu (Alopecia journey)⁠Preston O'Brien⁠ (⁠The Triumphant Man⁠ -Men's mental health advocate, trauma survivor)Resources Mentioned:"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der KolkAiley Jolie (British somatic psychologist on women's nervous systems)ACE Test (Adverse Childhood Experiences)The Chocolate Bar Life by Danielle ColleyConnect: If your body has been screaming and you've been ignoring it, reach out to a trusted friend, or seek professional advice to get a plan for next steps. Contact Danielle to learn about the work she does and see if it's right for you. [email protected] ⁠@iamdaniellecolle⁠y

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a text"Everything happens for a reason" - sometimes those words feel like a punch in the gut when you're drowning in grief, fear, or anger. But what if there's a different way to look at life's hardest moments that doesn't feel like toxic positivity?In this Big Stuff summer series episode, host Danielle Colley weaves together four powerful stories that explore whether life happens TO us or FOR us. From comedian Jordana Borensztajn bombing so badly on a cruise ship she called it "the floating prison of shame," to Imogen Carn losing her mum to suicide and channeling her rage into The Grief Files podcast that's helped hundreds of thousands, to Vashti Whitfield losing her husband Andy at 39 and reframing tragedy, to Preston O'Brien's rock bottom becoming his greatest gift.This isn't about pretending everything is fine or denying pain. It's about trust. About redirects versus failures. About the difference between giving up and letting go. It's about asking "what can I create from this?" instead of "why is this happening to me?"Danielle also shares her own journey through her father's death that redirected her entire career, and her current navigation of her mother's recent death - the wreckage, the gifts hidden in grief, and learning to trust the redirect even when you can't see where it's going.Chapters:[00:00] Introduction - The Problem With "Everything Happens For A Reason"[02:45] Jordana's Floating Prison of Shame[07:20] Creativity as Resilience - What's the Next Best Thing?[10:15] Imogen Carn - Losing Mum to Suicide[14:30] The Investigation and The Light[16:45] "It's Something You Have to Find For Yourself"[18:20] Danielle's Wreckage After Dad's Death[21:40] Vashti Whitfield - This Is Happening TO Us AND FOR Us[25:10] Can We Say Mum's Death Is Happening FOR Me?[28:35] Preston O'Brien - Becoming the Inspiration He Was Looking For[30:50] Four Redirects - What Can You Create From This?[33:20] Final Reflection - Trust the RedirectGuests Featured:⁠Jordana Borensztajn (Communications expert, author of The Little Book of Influence)⁠⁠Imogen Carn (Co-host of Good Mourning podcast)⁠⁠Vashti Whitfield (Transformational facilitator, co-creator of Be Here Now documentary)⁠⁠Preston O'Brien (Men's mental health advocate, founder Triumphant Man)⁠Connect: If this episode helped you see your challenges differently, share it with someone navigating their own redirect. Tell us about a time something you thought was happening TO you turned out to be happening FOR you.

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textA listener wrote in feeling completely torn apart by the weight of expectations. Family expectations, societal expectations, and the brutal “shoulds” we place on ourselves.In this How Are You Really? episode of Big Stuff, Danielle unpacks what it costs us when we say yes to someone else’s vision… and no to our own. Whether your dream is travelling the world, changing careers, choosing not to have kids, leaving a relationship, studying later in life, or stepping out of the role everyone assigned you, this episode is about reclaiming your one big, bold, beautiful life.In this episode, we cover:Why expectations are often rooted in love (and still feel suffocating)The difference between aligned choices vs paying the imaginary debt of expectationWhy you’re not choosing between two options — you’re choosing between two identitiesThe #1 regret of the dying (from The Five Regrets of the Dying by Bonnie Ware)How to share your truth with love, ask people to trust you, and stop abandoning yourselfIf you’ve been feeling “confused,” this might be the truth:You’re not confused about what you want, you’re questioning whether you’re allowed to want it.People will be okay if you live your own life… but will you be okay if you don’t?00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:15 Listener's Dilemma: The Weight of Expectations03:53 Unpacking Family and Societal Expectations08:19 The Importance of Self-Permission11:30 Living True to Yourself: Lessons from the Dying15:06 Navigating Personal Choices and Expectations22:26 The Role of Self-Worth and Success30:26 Final Thoughts and Season Wrap-UpConnect with Danielle: See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-bookFind her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/ Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textJordana Borensztajn, a comedian, communication expert and mentalist, joins the show to share how her most humiliating moments became the fuel for her career. From bombing so badly on a cruise ship that an elderly passenger told her to get off while she was still at sea, to being escorted off Facebook’s campus in a giant Like costume, Jordana reveals how comedy, curiosity and creativity helped her transform embarrassment into influence and resilience.In this episode, we explore the surprising psychology behind stage presence, why humor can be healing and the grounding techniques that help calm nerves before high-stakes moments. Jordana also breaks down mentalism’s insights on human connection, the 4-2-4 breathing method and how following joy, not perfection, is the secret to authentic communication. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone facing fear of judgment, imposter syndrome or the pressure to perform.Connect with Jordana Borensztajn:Website: jordanab.com.auInstagram: @jordanaborensztajnBook Website: littlebooks.biz00:00 Introduction to the Floating Prison of Shame00:30 Meet Jordana Borensztajn: From Journalist to Comedian02:06 The Challenge of Standup Comedy03:49 The Worst Date Ever: A Comedy Catalyst05:22 The Healing Power of Laughter07:58 The Floating Prison of Shame: A Cruise Ship Disaster12:07 Lessons from Bombing on Stage14:27 The Importance of Authentic Connection16:46 Embracing the Messy and Chaotic17:19 The Power of Imagination and Play23:16 Discovering Mentalism During Lockdown25:09 The Magic of Mentalism and Human Connection32:30 The Quest to Meet Mark Zuckerberg33:42 The Giant Costume Quest Begins34:24 Meeting Tech Icons at Dallas Digital Summit35:01 The Facebook Headquarters Adventure35:25 Facing Fear and Embracing the Experience38:12 The Aftermath and Realizations40:45 Grounding Techniques for Public Speaking48:17 Resilience and Creativity in Comedy52:49 Visionaries and Overcoming Fear56:50 The Power of Joy and Embracing Mistakes59:59 Concluding Thoughts and Future Plans01:02:18 Final Reflections and Podcast Outro

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textIn this deeply personal episode recorded only weeks after her mother’s death through voluntary assisted dying, Danielle shares the raw reality of grief, far beyond the familiar sadness people expect. She opens up about dissociation at work events, emotional numbness, and the biological impact of loss on the brain and body, from the amygdala to the mitochondria. This conversation explores what grief actually feels like, why it isn’t linear, and why “being strong” can sometimes do more harm than good.Whether you’re grieving yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers a compassionate blend of science, lived experience, and practical tools for navigating loss. Danielle unpacks cultural discomfort around sadness, the truth behind emotional “rewiring,” and the idea that grief is a form of love.00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:46 Dealing with Grief: Personal Experiences01:49 The Science of Grief05:01 Navigating Life Amidst Grief08:50 Coping Mechanisms and Support12:14 The Emotional Rollercoaster of Grief26:45 Public Displays of Grief and Cultural Perspectives29:23 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsConnect with Danielle: See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-bookFind her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/ Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textIn this powerful episode divorce coach and founder of Women's Divorce Academy, Carolyn Tate, shares the heartbreaking yet inspiring journey of supporting her son Connor through a life-threatening crisis that ultimately revealed his truth which changed their lives forever. Carolyn and host, Danielle Colley, explore the reality of parenting through fear, confusion, and impossible choices where trusting your child matters more than fully understanding them. The conversation also explores on the emotional toll of divorce, co-parenting challenges, and the loneliness of navigating crisis in silence.Carolyn explains how her darkest chapters became the foundation for the Women’s Divorce Academy, helping hundreds of women through one of life's other huge transitions - separation and divorce. Together, she and Danielle discuss medical support for transgender youth, practical survival tools like 'grey-rocking' and the Perspex box visualization, and the transformative power of choosing belief, compassion, and community. This episode is a reminder that the hardest moments of life can become the wisdom someone else needs.Connect with Carolyn:Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/womensdivorceacademy/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/womensdivorceacademyWebsite: www.womensdivorceacademy.com00:00 A Mother's Nightmare Begins00:26 Introducing Carolyn Tate02:18 The Turning Point: Connor's Revelation02:34 A Conversation on the Big Green Couch03:19 The Perfect Storm: Carolyn's Struggles04:06 Connor's Mental Health Battle08:28 The Journey of Acceptance16:48 The Transition Process21:07 Support Systems and Challenges26:44 Life After Top Surgery35:03 Turning Pain into Purpose38:03 Embracing a Clean Slate38:37 Navigating Post-Breakup Challenges39:06 Rebuilding and Finding Optimism40:02 Support Networks and Positivity41:27 Dealing with Difficult Exes48:42 The Power of Community50:34 Reflecting on Personal Growth55:09 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textWhat happens when you stop apologising for your choices with one tiny word? Lisa Schweighoffer went from saying "I'm just a stay-at-home mom" to co-founding Boost Lab, the irreverent skincare brand that's disrupting beauty by refusing to take itself too seriously.In this raw conversation, Lisa shares how just one single word was shrinking her presence and what it was like to build an international business after 10 years at home with kids. And we go deeper than this, as a busy and successful mum, Lisa also dives deep into the reason her medical hysterectomy at 48 came with zero menopause information, and the ultimate partnership secret that makes 30+ year marriages actually thrive. From testing products on speedboats to dancing on Instagram and building a very successful business, Lisa proves that the most confident founders aren't those who take everything seriously, they're those who know exactly what deserves their attention, leaving them free to approach everything else with humour and joy.Resource List - Books:Dr. Mary Claire Haver - "The New Menopause" (Lisa says it "literally changed my life")Dr. Michael Mosley - "Just One Thing"Podcast:Brené Brown - "Unlocking Us" (episode with Dr. Mary Claire Haver on perimenopause and bone health)Where to find Lisa -Instagram - ⁠@lisaschway⁠ and ⁠@boostlabco⁠Website -⁠ Boost Lab⁠0:00 - Introduction: The power of removing "just" from your vocabulary4:00 - The New Zealand leap: Moving countries with three kids under four10:00 - The reality of stay-at-home motherhood: isolation, sacrifice, and chosen family17:00 - The "never just" breakthrough: Removing one word that was making her smaller22:00 - "You're choosing what you don't change": Life philosophy on making empowered choices26:00 - From hammers to beauty: The unexpected entrepreneurial journey30:00 - Why Boost Lab does skincare differently: Concern-led, not ingredient-led35:00 - 15 years of bleeding: The health journey no one talks about38:00 - Medical gaslighting: When doctors fail women in perimenopause40:00 - Self-advocacy: How Lisa armed herself with information and changed everything43:00 - The HRT conversation: "If your doctor doesn't listen, find another one"44:00 - Partnership gold: How she and Craig work as a true team48:00 - Being "just the fun face" and learning to own your value51:00 - Practical wisdom: Bone health, heavy lifting, and preparing for the next chapter52:00 - Stop watching the news: Protecting your nervous system54:00 - Lisa's tips for happy living: HRT, lift heavy, laugh at yourself, whiskey

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textTrigger warning: Episode discusses death, grief and choosing to die. This is part two of a series. If you haven't listened to Episode 12 where I first introduced you to my mum Carolyn and her decision to pursue voluntary assisted death, start there.On the 11th October, we threw my mum the living wake of the century. It was supposed to be four months before she died. We had time. We had plans.Then that night, she couldn't breathe. She pressed her buzzer. Nobody came. She thought she was going to suffocate alone in her bed.The next morning, I got the call. Less than an hour later, my brother and I were sitting with her asking: "Do you feel done?" She said yes.Three days later, she would be dead.On the Tuesday—her final full day—she asked if we could record one more conversation. I was exhausted, but my friend Rodney said, "You'll regret not doing this."So we talked about last words, regret, flickering lights as a form of communication from the other side, and whether she thought she was brave. Then I share what actually happened in her final hours—the ritual, the music, her actual last words as her chosen music played, and the surprising peace that came after.What has surprised me most is that peace. Not the devastation I expected. Just this gentle, unexpected calm.I'm sharing this because I think we need different stories about death. Real ones. Where someone looks forward to what's next. Where grief can be peaceful instead of wild.If you feel like this is too raw for you, it's ok. This won't be for everyone, but I'm glad I recorded this episode even though I was exhausted and dubious. My mum is, was, and will always be a remarkable human being.CAROLYN COLLEY07/10/1951 - 15/10/2025

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textTwo months before her wedding, Dr. Phoebe Rogers, a clinical psychologist and couples therapist and she was having secret panic attacks. Every time she pictured herself saying “I do,” she imagined herself bolting from the altar instead. She almost went through with it anyway, because sometimes the voice whispering “at least someone loves you” can drown out the one shouting “this isn’t right.”In this raw, vulnerable, and inspiring conversation, Dr. Rogers opens up about her journey from relationship expert to runaway bride and how that moment of truth became the catalyst for real healing and self-discovery.Connect with Phoebe:Instagram: @therelationshipspaceFacebook: The Relationship Space Website: therelationshipspace.com.auBook: When Will It Happen Me? (available now)00:00 Introduction: Dr. Phoebe Rogers' Journey02:31 Phoebe's Personal Love Story04:55 Recognizing Red Flags and Inner Conflict06:09 The Decision to Call Off the Wedding09:08 Healing and Self-Discovery14:24 Therapeutic Techniques and Inner Child Work20:25 Applying Therapy to Personal Life23:44 Building a Healthy Relationship with Self26:47 Recognizing Patterns and Healing28:43 Finding the Right Partner29:34 Navigating Relationship Communication31:46 Dealing with Attachment Styles32:34 The Inevitability of Heartbreak33:30 Healing and Growth in Relationships43:46 The Importance of Self-Love49:06 Insights from the Book53:20 Final Thoughts and Takeaways

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textWhat happens when the thing you've built your entire life around suddenly disappears?Cooper Chapman was a top 100 professional surfer living what looked like the dream, traveling the world, sponsored by major brands, representing his country since age 14. But beneath the surface, his self-worth was being affected on a deeper level. Every competition result, every sponsorship deal, every sticker on his surfboard determined whether he felt worthy or worthless.Then at 22, at the peak of his career, his major sponsor dropped him without warning. He went from making $50K a year doing what he loved to working 50-hour weeks digging holes on construction sites just to afford his next competition. After a powerful moment with his sister, he began to pave a new path. Today, Cooper's Good Human Factory has transformed over 10,000 lives across Australia. His revolutionary 1% Good Club, based on just 14 minutes of daily meditation and gratitude has generated over 1 million moments of gratitude. In this episode, we talk about finding identity beyond achievement, why losing everything can lead to purpose, and how giving just 1% of your day to meditation and gratitude can rewire your brain for positivity. Cooper shares his five core values of responsibility, gratitude, empathy, mindfulness, and kindness and opens up about imposter syndrome, resilience, and building peace of mind from the inside out. Connect with Cooper:Instagram: @cooperchapman @thegoodhumanfactoryWebsite: thegoodhumanfactory.comBook: The 1% Good Club (available now)Join the 1% Good Club: DM "I want to join the club" to @thegoodhumanfactory00:00 Introduction: The Dream and the Storm01:33 Meet Cooper Chapman: From Surfer to Author04:12 The Journey of Self-Development05:29 The Turning Point: Losing Sponsorship08:57 Finding Purpose: The Good Human Factory19:46 The Birth of The Good Human Factory26:33 The 1% Good Club: A Daily Practice29:26 The Value of Meditation31:35 The Power of Gratitude32:04 Creating the 1% Good Club36:26 Impactful Stories and Feedback40:23 Balancing Growth and Self-Care44:42 Writing the Book49:05 Final Thoughts and Advice

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textA listener’s raw confession stopped me in my tracks: “I know I’m not worthy because I fuck up.” She’s paying off $100K in debt, thriving at work, and being an amazing mom yet she wouldn’t let her daughters speak to themselves the way she speaks to herself. In this episode, we unpack the cruelest lie we tell ourselves: that self-worth needs to be earned, can be lost, or is up for debate.You’ll learn why those “not good enough” beliefs aren’t really yours, how childhood experiences shape your worth story, and the difference between making mistakes and being a mistake. We explore tools like the ANTs to PETs practice to rewire negative thought patterns, and ways to reparent yourself with the compassion you deserve. Spoiler alert: your worthiness isn’t a report card, it’s your birthright, simply because you exist.00:00 Introduction and Listener's Story01:03 The Cruelest Lie About Self-Worth01:39 Understanding Self-Worth Issues02:26 Childhood Imprints and Beliefs06:34 The Rigged System of Self-Worth06:38 Personal Anecdotes and Reflections08:14 Reevaluating and Reparenting Yourself15:30 Creating New Thought Patterns19:31 Final Thoughts on WorthinessConnect with Danielle: See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-bookFind her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/ Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textDanielle’s beloved mother, Carolyn Colley, has lived with multiple sclerosis for 35 years. Now facing imminent respiratory and renal failure, she's been granted voluntary assisted death in New South Wales and she's happier than she's been in years. Not because she’s given up, but because after decades of being in surrender to her body making the decisions, she finally gets to make a choice for herself. In this deeply personal conversation, Danielle sits down with her mother to explore why death isn't the enemy we think it is, how choosing your exit can bring comfort and relief, and what it means to live fully even in your final months. This isn't a conversation about dying, it's about living with courage, choosing on your own terms, and the radical act of kindness.It is a conversation about dignity, but not the kind you're thinking of. About the loss of it, catheter malfunctions, needing help to pull your pants up, the deeply unsexy reality of a body that's shutting down. And then we discuss finding it again, on your own terms.If you've ever wondered what it actually means to die well, to live fully even when you're dying, or how to let go of someone you love who's asking you to be happy for them, this one's for you.Content Warning: There are discussions about death, voluntary assisted dying, degenerative illness, loss of bodily autonomy, and grief. Also: surprising amounts of bathroom humor and karaoke references.00:00 Introduction: Living with Multiple Sclerosis00:25 Mom's New Lease on Life00:58 Podcast Begins: Welcoming Carolyn02:03 The Decision for Voluntary Assisted Death02:40 Excitement About the Unknown04:08 Challenges of a Degenerative Disease05:45 Legal and Emotional Aspects of VAD07:18 Living with Humor and Support14:00 Spiritual Exploration and Acceptance27:52 Spiritual Mentorship and Reunions31:54 Reflections on Life and Death33:15 Living Fully Despite Exhaustion34:22 Legacy and Final Wishes42:36 Embracing Kindness and Love53:41 Concluding Thoughts on Life and DeathConnect with Danielle: See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-bookFind her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/ Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textWhen Andy Whitfield died at 39 from cancer, his widow Vashti faced an impossible question: How do you survive profound loss while raising two young children alone? In this deeply honest conversation about grief, solo parenting, and personal transformation, Vashti Whitfield shares how she turned devastating loss into meaningful legacy work.Vashti Whitfield is a transformational facilitator, executive coach, and filmmaker who co-created the award-winning documentary Be Here Now: The Andy Whitfield Story. In this episode of the Big Stuff podcast, host and life coach Danielle Colley explores the realities of anticipatory grief, navigating parenting after loss, and why protecting loved ones from pain can sometimes do more harm than good.This conversation offers practical wisdom for anyone dealing with grief, life transitions, terminal illness in the family, or the challenge of rebuilding identity after devastating loss. Vashti's approach combines vulnerability with actionable insights about living fully in the present moment—even when life feels impossibly hard.00:00 Introduction to Vashti Whitfield's Journey01:56 Meeting Vashti: A Personal Anecdote08:33 The Story of Andy Whitfield12:08 The Making of 'Be Here Now'14:40 Reframing Grief and Finding Purpose18:23 Navigating Anticipatory Grief24:04 Living and Dying: A Personal Reflection26:00 Transforming Grief into Legacy Work33:01 Turning Creativity into Legacy34:12 Embracing All of You34:43 Parenting Challenges and Non-Attachment36:58 Solo Parenting and Letting Go41:26 Owning Your Parenting Mistakes46:16 Rediscovering Yourself48:26 Intimacy and Connection56:59 Advice for Big Life Changes59:48 Final Thoughts and ReflectionsConnect with Vashti Whitfield:See her Linktree: VASHTI WHITFIELDCheck out her substack: The V. SpotFind her on Instagram - vashtiwhitfieldConnect on LinkedIn- Vashti WhitfieConnect with Danielle: See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-bookFind her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/ Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textDoes it ever feel like you’re the only one doing the emotional work in your relationship? This episode dives into the emotional labor imbalance that shows up when one partner is growing, healing, and evolving — while the other stays the same. This is the personal growth gap that can leave you feeling like you’re in a one-sided relationship or slowly growing apart.Life coach Danielle Colley explores “the emotional gap” in relationships — what happens when you’re committed to therapy, self-development, and personal growth, but your partner isn’t. You’ll learn evidence-based strategies to navigate relationship growth imbalances, set boundaries, and protect your energy without losing yourself.00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:52 Listener's Emotional Dilemma01:30 Understanding the Emotional Gap05:07 Personal Reflections and Experiences08:12 Navigating Relationship Dynamics11:56 Hidden Costs of Emotional Disparity18:13 Making Decisions and Setting Boundaries22:16 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsConnect with Danielle: See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-bookFind her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/ Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textThis powerful episode features Preston O'Brien, a men's mental health advocate and founder of Every Sunday Motorcycle Collective (so you don’t kill yourself between Monday and Saturday) and The Triumphant Man. He’s sharing his journey from childhood sexual abuse survivor to drug dealer to advocate for doing the big work that allows deep healing. But he’s also sharing more than that, twenty years ago, Preston lived a dangerous double life that ended in a suicide attempt. At that time, your host, Danielle, was his live-in girlfriend and she was caught up in his web of deceit. This conversation is also a deep dive into abusive relationships and the impact they have for years after. Today, Preston helps hundreds of men heal from trauma and addiction through evidence-based mental health support.Content Warning: This episode discusses childhood sexual abuse, drug addiction, suicide attempts, and emotionally abusive relationships.Connect with Preston: Preston O'Brien The Triumphant Man Every Sunday Motorcycle Collective  Gentleman's Ride00:00 Trigger Warnings and Introduction00:35 Meet Preston O'Brien: A Troubled Past01:05 The Double Life Revealed01:49 The Turning Point: Suicide Attempt02:21 Reconnecting After 10 Years02:58 Starting the Podcast Conversation03:58 Reflecting on Sydney and Early Trauma08:13 Love Bombing and Relationship Dynamics13:31 Gaslighting and Emotional Abuse15:50 The Path to Self-Destruction32:03 Returning to New Zealand35:01 The Road to Recovery38:21 The Catalyst for Change39:14 Struggles with Addiction and Infidelity40:04 Suzanne's Support and Accountability45:16 Therapy and Self-Forgiveness50:41 Creating Safe Spaces for Men52:40 The Motorcycle Collective54:48 The Triumphant Man Initiative56:03 Healing Through Vulnerability01:06:40 Reconnecting and Forgiveness01:12:26 Final Thoughts and ReflectionsConnect with Danielle: See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-bookFind her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/ Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textCasey Beros had interviewed hundreds of medical experts and built her career teaching people how to navigate healthcare. But when her father was diagnosed with terminal mesothelioma (asbestos cancer), all her professional expertise meant nothing when she was sobbing in a hospital corridor at 2 AM.In this raw and powerful conversation, Casey shares her journey of caring for her father through his final two and a half years, the return of his addiction struggles, and how watching someone you love die changes you in ways you never expected. She discusses the brutal reality of terminal illness, the complexity of grief, and why she wrote "Next of Kin" - a practical guide born from one of the worst experiences of her life.Resources Mentioned"Next of Kin" by Casey Beros -Comprehensive handbook for healthcare navigation and caregiving (available in paperback, eBook, and audiobook)"The Bad Girls Guide to Better" by Casey Beros - Casey's stealth help guide to getting your act togetherConnect with CaseyWebsite: https://www.caseyberos.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caseyberos/00:00 Introduction and Guest Background01:10 Casey's Personal Journey Begins04:20 Navigating the Healthcare System19:15 The Emotional Toll of Caregiving31:02 Dealing with Addiction and Illness37:17 The Dilemma of Addiction in Palliative Care38:14 The Emotional Toll of Watching a Loved One Suffer39:35 The Role of a Death Doula42:02 The Brutality and Beauty of the Final Days52:58 Navigating Grief and Loss54:38 Turning Heartbreak into Purpose56:04 The Importance of Preserving Memories01:01:28 The Unquenchable Thirst of Grief01:07:21 Final Thoughts and ReflectionsConnect with Danielle: See her website - https://daniellecolley.com.au/But the Chocolate Bar Life book - https://www.thechocolatebarlife.com.au/buy-bookFind her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/iamdaniellecolley/ Connect on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/IAmDanielleColley/?_rdc=1&_rdr#Watch on Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@iamdaniellecolley Check out her substack - https://substack.com/@iamdaniellecolley?utm_source=user-menu

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textThree years ago I thought I was losing my mind—snappy with my family, flat in my business, and waking up with zero desire to face the day. What I didn’t know then was that perimenopause had turned up the volume on something I’d been living with all along: ADHD.In this episode of Big Stuff, I share the real story of how I finally got diagnosed at 47, why so many women slip through the cracks, and how hormones can unmask ADHD in midlife. I’ll talk about the grief and relief of diagnosis, what treatment and support look like for me (from HRT to Post-it notes), and why ADHD is not a flaw—it’s a different operating system.You’ll learn:·       How ADHD can present differently in women (and why it’s often missed)·       The link between estrogen, dopamine, and ADHD symptoms in perimenopause·       What the assessment and diagnosis process actually looked like for me·       The difference medication and HRT made (and what didn’t change)·       Simple, everyday supports that help a high-octane brain thriveIf you’ve ever wondered “Is this ADHD? Is it peri? Is it both?”—this episode is for you.00:00 Introduction and Personal Story01:04 The ADHD Diagnosis Journey01:50 Perimenopause and ADHD03:43 Struggles and Realizations06:36 Seeking Professional Help10:09 Living with ADHD24:11 Hormones and ADHD27:30 Conclusion and Encouragement Connect with Danielle – See her websiteListen to her bookBuy the actual bookFind her on InstagramFollow her on LinkedInCheck out her Substack 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textWhat would you do if offered the adventure of a lifetime - knowing you could never come home again?Dr. Dianne McGrath said yes. Out of 200,000 applicants worldwide, she made it to the final 100 candidates for Mars One - a one-way mission to colonize Mars. For eight years, Dianne prepared to leave Earth forever, knowing she'd never see her family again.This is the story of what happens when you stop asking "Am I qualified?" and start asking "What am I capable of?" Despite having no astrophysics background, Dianne refused to disqualify herself from humanity's next giant leap. She biohacked her way to incredible bone density, had difficult conversations with family about never coming home, and built mental resilience for the isolation of space.This conversation explores the psychology of extreme goals, the power of calculated risk-taking, and how the hardest challenges bring out our best selves. Dianne's warmth and wisdom will challenge everything you think you know about limits and what's truly possible when you commit with "two feet in."Connect with Dr. Dianne McGrath - On The WebsiteOn Her InstagramOn her LinkedInBecause sometimes the biggest risk isn't taking the leap - it's never finding out what we're truly capable of.Enjoyed this episode? Share it with someone who needs to hear about the power of audacious goals. Subscribe so you never miss an episode of Big Stuff.What's your Mars? Drop us a message about the big dream you've been telling yourself you're not ready for.Connect with Danielle via her website here.Follow her Instagram here.Listen to her audio book, The Chocolate Bar Life on SpotifyAbout this episode - 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage00:40 Meet Dr. Dianne McGrath: Mars One Candidate01:41 The Mars One Journey Begins02:07 Dianne's Determination and Mindset03:42 The Mars One Application Process06:31 Training and Preparation for Mars13:53 Public and Personal Reactions22:50 Health and Fitness Challenges35:37 Reflecting on Generational Differences36:40 Preparing for a One-Way Trip to Mars38:13 Mental Health and Astronaut Challenges39:43 Conversations About Death and Loss44:09 The End of the Mars One Dream55:46 Finding New Challenges and Adventures01:03:53 Embracing New Opportunities01:06:08 Final Thoughts and Reflections 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textIf you're hiding in your car in a supermarket car park stealing five minutes of peace, this How Are You Really? episode is just for you.Welcome to what Danielle is calling "The Sausage Mincer of Midlife" - that brutal life stage where you're finally winning at work just as your teenagers turn feral and your parents need more support than ever. It's when everything demands 100% of your attention but you're maxed out at 60% because that's literally all you have.She recently asked her AI assistant Claude for advice about this impossible juggle. His response? "Yeah, that's a lot. Keep going."  She wanted a silver bullet. The brutal truth? There isn't one.This isn't another episode about better systems or time management hacks. This is about accepting that some seasons can't be optimised - they can only be survived. Danielle is sharing why it's okay to resent how hard this is, permission to be mediocre, and the survival strategies that are actually getting her through.From the strategic "no" that makes angels sing to understanding glass balls versus rubber balls, this episode is for anyone drowning in the impossible math of midlife demands.You're not broken. You don't need fixing. You just need to know you're not alone in the mincer.Key Topics: Midlife overwhelm, parenting teenagers, caring for aging parents, relationship survival, permission to struggle, practical coping strategies00:00 Introduction and Purpose00:54 The Sausage Mincer of Midlife02:33 Parenting Challenges03:27 Caring for Aging Parents04:51 Struggles and Realizations13:38 Permission to Be Mediocre17:06 Triage Approach to Life18:58 Micro Moments of Connection22:23 Conclusion and Encouragement22:57 Closing Remarks and Call to ActionConnect: Instagram - @iamdaniellecolley Website - daniellecolley.com.auBook - The Chocolate Bar Life; Creating a delicious balance between work, res and play 

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textWhat do you do when you have a burning dream, two kids depending on you, and absolutely no safety net? You ship it anyway.Jessica Mudditt knows a thing or two about backing yourself when the stakes are high. As a journalist who spent a decade navigating international media across London, Bangladesh, and Myanmar—including being the only foreign journalist at a propaganda newspaper during Myanmar's most politically volatile period—Jess has faced real danger and lived to tell the tale.Now she's channeling that same fearless energy into revolutionising the publishing world as founder of hybrid publishing company Hembury Books, proving that sometimes the best business decisions come from those who've already stared down genuine fear.In this raw and inspiring conversation, Jess shares why she started her business the day after her father's funeral, how living through political uncertainty taught her to distinguish between real danger and limiting beliefs, and why her motto "ship it" has become the foundation of everything she does.This isn't just another entrepreneur success story—it's a masterclass in resilience, risk-taking, and what it really means to make your life your own.Website - ⁠Hembury Books⁠Instagram - ⁠@hembury_books⁠Books: Available on Amazon and BooktopiaOliver Berkman's "Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals"If this episode resonated with you:Ask yourself: What's the one thing you've been waiting to start? What would "shipping it" look like for you?Try Jessica's fear test: Will you remember this decision in five years? If yes, it's worth the nerves.Remember: Your life is your own. What would you do if you truly believed that?Ready to take the next step? Book a discovery call with Danielle to explore what's possible when you finally back yourself.Subscribe so you never miss an episode of real talk about success, resilience, and living life on your own terms.Leave a review if this episode gave you the push you needed to back yourself.Share with someone who needs to hear Jessica's story—because sometimes we all need permission to make our lives our own.00:00 Welcome and Introduction01:03 Taking the Leap: From Freelance Journalism to Publishing02:18 The Birth of Hembury Books03:58 Overcoming Challenges and Finding Success05:01 The Importance of Iteration and Risk-Taking06:19 Personal Journey and High-Risk Appetite11:06 Experiences in Myanmar23:48 Navigating Financial Anxiety as an Entrepreneur27:33 Resilience and Self-Kindness30:30 Disrupting the Publishing Industry35:13 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textHow Are You Really? From blackout drunk at 14 to four months alcohol-free at 49 - this isn't your typical sobriety story. Hell, she's not even sure if she's sober. This episode of Big Stuff asks How Are You Really? about Danielle's complicated relationship with alcohol, from teenage rebellion to mummy wine culture to perimenopause reality checks.Danielle explores the socially acceptable way we've been taught to cope with everything from Tuesday to triumph, and what happens when you start asking uncomfortable questions about habits that once served you but now don't.Spoiler alert: You don't need to hit rock bottom to reassess your relationship with alcohol. And you definitely don't need to commit to forever.If you're questioning your own relationship with alcohol (or any habit that's stopped serving you), ask yourself:What is this giving to my life and what is this taking from my life?How do I want to be? Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up?Remember: You don't need all the answers figured out. You just need to ask some questions.This episode is part of How Are You Really? - where listeners can share what's going on for them and receive real-time coaching. No conversation, just honest answers and evidence-based guidance.If you want real support with how you really are, get in touch: [email protected]⁠Hit Danielle's website to learn more⁠Buy Danielle's award winning book - ⁠The Chocolate Bar Life⁠⁠Follow her on Instagram⁠Remember: As long as you are self-reflecting, you'll always be moving in the right direction.00:00 Introduction: The Elephant in the Wine Glass00:24 Personal Journey: From Blackout Drunk to Sober02:20 Teenage Drinking: Setting Patterns04:37 Alcohol and Parenthood: A Coping Mechanism05:20 Shifting Perspectives: Alcohol and Wellness07:28 Physical Reactions: The Impact of Alcohol09:15 Relationship Dynamics: Alcohol and Marriage11:17 Experimenting with Sobriety: Six Weeks Challenge15:03 Sober Curious: Influences and Reflections25:29 Concluding Thoughts: Reassessing Alcohol

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textSix years ago, my friend Carolyn was a successful TV executive who liked to blend into the background. Then she lost every single hair on her body to alopecia - and it forced her to become the most confident version of herself she'd ever been.Carolyn Ozkoseoglu is the Vice President of Sales and Distribution at Sony Pictures Television, working in an industry notoriously obsessed with appearance. When Alopecia Universalis stripped away every hair on her body, she faced a choice: hide from the world or own her new reality.What followed was a journey from shame and fear to unexpected confidence and empowerment. In this conversation, Carolyn shares how losing the thing she thought defined her actually helped her discover who she really was - and why standing out became her greatest strength. This conversation is for anyone who's ever felt like they had to hide parts of themselves, anyone facing their own identity transformation, or anyone who simply wants to understand what real confidence looks like. Carolyn's journey proves that sometimes the thing we fear most becomes the thing that sets us free.While Carolyn keeps a relatively private social media presence, you can follow Sony Pictures Television's work in the Australian market through industry publications.This conversation was deeply personal for me to share, as Carolyn isn't just a podcast guest - she's one of my dearest friends and the godmother to my children. Her courage in sharing this story, and in living it so authentically, continues to inspire me every day.00:00 Welcome to Big Stuff00:30 Understanding the Role in Film and Television02:58 The Importance of Appearance in the Industry04:34 Alopecia Diagnosis and Initial Reactions10:43 Coping with Hair Loss and Finding Support15:49 Embracing a New Identity22:43 Living with Alopecia: Challenges and Insights30:23 Confidence and Self-Development38:56 Eyebrow Adventures and Nasal Hair Woes40:12 The Irony of Hair Loss and Beauty Standards45:42 Empathy and Visible Differences53:16 The Journey of Alopecia

Enjoyed this and want to let us know? Drop us a textDoes Everything Happen For A Reason? Conversations on Grief, Healing, and Resilience with Imogen Carn. In this compelling debut episode of 'Big Stuff,' host Danielle welcomes her first guest, Imogen. As a seasoned podcaster from the "Good Mourning" podcast and trauma informed breathwork facilitator, Imogen offers deep insight into her tumultuous journey through the harrowing experience of losing her mother to suicide. Imogen shares her profound story of uncovering the 20-year abusive relationship her mother was trapped in.We delve into grief, recovery, and the transformative power of forgiveness, and explore various healing modalities that have helped Imogen on her path, including somatic therapies and breathwork. This episode also touches on the importance of addressing grief and death openly in a culture which often fears not only dying but also speaking about the dead. Imogen shares poignant reflections on resilience, the choice to find meaning in suffering, and her ongoing mission to support others with their healing journeys. You will gain insights on how to approach grief, making this episode a powerful resource for navigating the complexities of loss and healing.You can find Imogen at - Good Mourning podcast Good Mourning InstagramImogen Carn InstagramRESOURCES MENTIONED -Books and authors mentioned include -  'The Gift' and 'The Choice' by Dr. Edith Egar 'Grow Around Grief' theory by Dr. Lois TonkinIf you or anyone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, you are not alone. Reach out for help today because there is a life beyond domestic abuse.Trusted supports are -Emergency - 00024/7 Counselling-1800RESPECT - 1800 737 732Lifeline - 13 11 14Legal Help - wlsa.org.auCentrelink Crisis Line - 132 85000:00 Welcome to Big Stuff02:21 A Life-Changing Conversation03:37 Uncovering a Dark Truth07:31 The Aftermath and Seeking Justice14:17 Understanding Coercive Control23:21 Turning Grief into Purpose29:12 Starting the Podcast Amidst Grief29:28 The Evolution of the Podcast29:45 Finding Light in Darkness30:15 Honoring My Mom's Legacy30:52 The Concept of Healing31:02 Sacred Contracts and Life's Purpose31:44 Everything Happens for a Reason?32:20 Navigating Grief and Meaning36:13 Supporting Others Through Grief?36:33 Personal Grief Experiences37:19 Dealing with Others' Grief38:33 Teaching Grief and Death in Schools41:12 A Personal Story of Loss44:42 The Importance of Acknowledging Loss45:22 Healing and Moving Forward50:37 The Role of Somatic Therapy53:35 Future Plans and Community Support