Conversations: Psychology & Relationships

Mandy Nolan didn't fit in as a child, in the country town where she grew up. But later in life, her differences became her superpower (CW: discusses domestic violence and addiction)

Over her many decades as a practising psychiatrist, Veronica O'Keane developed a fascination for our memory, how it functions in the brain, and the role it has in shaping our identity

Once journalist and author Kate Legge recovered from the news her husband of 30 years was cheating on her, she uncovered four generations of infidelity through his family

Hilton Koppe on how his life as a soccer-obsessed country GP changed forever when he became a patient himselfHilton Koppe grew up knowing his parents wanted him to become a doctor. When he got the marks to make it into medicine, they were overjoyed.By the time he was 30, he'd started working as a country GP.  Hilton then became a beloved local doctor in Northern NSW, and he worked there for more than 3 decades.But a few years ago, Hilton's own health suddenly went awry. He started experiencing constant neck pain, and then the side of his face went numb.He was sent him for an MRI, which revealed nothing.But then his own GP gave him an unexpected diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, related in part to his work as a doctor.This news up-ended almost everything about Hilton's life.Further informationHilton's memoir is called One Curious DoctorTo binge even more great episodes of the ‘Conversations podcast’ with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

Oceane was 18 when she attempted to take her own life. After a painstaking climb back into life, 20 years later she is a midwife, a writer and a mother of three (CW: mentions suicide and sexual assault)

Guiding daughters to become confident young woman in an age of smartphones and early sexualisation is tough. The parenting expert says in this complex arena, we can't leave these lessons to chanceMaggie Dent can clearly recall her indignation at being made to wear a dress as a little girl.She was a tomboy and noticed when she was treated differently from little boys, who were allowed to be their exuberant selves when she was not.The process of raising girls has changed since Maggie was a child, but there are new challenges today — smartphone usage and unwanted sexualisation of young girls, among others.She says there are core lessons we can learn to face these challenges and raise confident and well-adjusted girls.Further informationGirlhood: raising our little girls to be healthy, happy and heard is published by Pan MacmillanListen to Maggie's ABC Podcast Parental as AnythingTo binge even more great episodes of the ‘Conversations podcast’ with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, singers, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

When journalist Jason Om turned his skills towards his own family story he began to understand the real story of his perfectionist Buddhist Cambodian father and his Catholic Eurasian mother, who was stricken with an inexplicable sadnessJason is a journalist with ABC TV.A few years ago he turned his journalistic skills to his own family story.Jason wanted to find out what had happened to his mother in Malaysia, and whether that could explain the melancholy she struggled with as he was growing up.His questioning and searching for the truth also saw his father change in a way Jason never believed possible.Further informationAll Mixed Up is published by HarperCollinsJason Om will be a guest at the 2022 Sydney Writers FestivalTo binge even more great episodes of the ‘Conversations podcast’ with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, singers, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

Sian Prior with the story of the years of longing and loss which marked her quest to become a mother, and what happened when she found herself childless at the age of 50For many years Sian Prior desperately wanted to have a baby.Her longing to be a mother played havoc with her relationships and her body.It never happened, and Sian had to decide what to do with the freedom that was hers.Further informationChildless is published by TextTo binge even more great episodes of the ‘Conversations podcast’ with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, singers, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

Psychiatrist Dr Warren Ward treats patients who are severely ill with eating disorders. Understanding the mystery of human nature has driven him since he was a young doctor, and has led him down a strange path into examining the love lives of philosophers

David Heilpern with stories of drama, crime and heartache from his 21 years as a country magistrate (CW: references to drug use and sexual assault)For 21 years David Heilpern was a country magistrate in towns including Dubbo, Brewarrina and Lismore.This meant he was the Coroner, the Children's Court Judge, and the person handling all the domestic violence, assault, robbery, drug and driving offences.The workload was intense, and life on the bench could be lonely. On Monday morning, he might have 90 people lined up outside his courtroom waiting for him to administer justice.During his time in the job David endured death threats, people trashing the courtroom after being refused bail, and some who addressed him as 'Your Majesty'.David was a magistrate well known for his compassion. He would often challenge the police, or stand up for victims of domestic violence.In Dubbo in 1999 he dismissed a charge against a man who allegedly told a policeman holding the handlebars of his bike: 'get your f--king hands off' it.More recently he took a stand over tough drug driving laws in NSW, which see many people lose their licence.David also spoke out during his time on the bench about the vicarious trauma he experienced in having to examine some of society's most terrible crimes.Further informationHelp and support is always available.Lifeline is available for 24 hour crisis support at 13 11 14If this conversation has been difficult to hear you can also contact Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36 or chat to them via their websiteTo binge even more great episodes of the ‘Conversations podcast’ with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, singers, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

How a boy from Glasgow named Norman Swirsky grew up to become Australia's most famous doctor

Gordon Parker is the founder of the Black Dog Institute, which works to remove the stigma around depression, mental illness and bipolar disorder. For the past few years he's been looking closely at the phenomenon of burnout at home and at work

How does Ben Crowe get elite athletes to the top of their game? What he asks footballers, surfers and tennis players to do seems counter intuitive, and a lot of the work happens off the field. (R)Ben Crowe is a mindset coach who has worked with elite athletes like surfer Steph Gilmore, tennis superstar Ash Barty, and the Richmond Football Club.But Ben's method of coaching seems counter-intuitive.Rather than telling these athletes they're the best, he encourages them to own their flaws, make sense of their life stories off the field, prioritising vulnerability and human connection, so they can take both wins and losses in their stride. Further informationOriginally broadcast in July 2021.Ben Crowe's new book, Where the Light Gets In, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2026.This episode of Conversations was produced by Michelle Ransom Hughes, executive producer was Carmel Rooney.It explores sport, NBA, basketball, football, Bayern, David Beckham, Hawks, Tigers, Magpies, Warriors, Tottenham, Jake Weatherald, Champions League, Wimbledon, Tennis Open, US Open, Australian Open, Arsenal, UCL, sports trading, UEFA, FIFA, mindset coaching, positive, books, writing, origin story, grief, death of a father.

Ianto Ware with the story of growing up in the suburbs of Adelaide with his radical feminist lesbian mother Dimity

'Love on the Spectrum' star Jodi Rodgers on her life as a sexologist and relationship counsellor for people with Autism, and her unexpected chapter in reality TV

Parenting educator and retired psychologist Steve Biddulph was in his 50s when a chance conversation over lunch shifted almost everything about how he saw himself

Glenn was working at Enron in London when his mental health began to unravel. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and lost nearly everything. Then a Bowls Club in Queanbeyan helped him begin again

Betty O'Neill's father disappeared when she was a baby. Decades later, inside a tiny apartment in the Polish city of Lublin she opened a green suitcase to find a huge clue to his secret lifeBetty O'Neill grew up in country New South Wales with her mum Nora.Nora worked in hotels in Kyogle and Coffs Harbour, and because she wasn't able to live at the hotels with her mum, Betty was often fostered out to families in the local area.Nora was what was known in the 1950s as a 'deserted wife'.Her husband Antoni had disappeared without a trace shortly after Betty was born.As a girl Betty knew very little about her father.She finally met him again when she was nineteen, and it was a strange and unsettling experience.Decades later, Betty became curious about her father's life story.She began an investigation which took her to Lublin, Poland, a city where she didn't know anyone, to finally uncover the truth.Further informationThe Other Side of Absence is published by VenturaTo binge even more great episodes of the ‘Conversations podcast’ with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, singers, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

Midwife Christian Wright with tales of emergency evacuations and surfing with crocodiles while working in remote Indigenous communities in Arnhem Land, helping Yolŋu women birth their babiesChristian lives in the tiny town of Nhulunbuy right on the tip of the Northern Territory.His job there is an unusual one.Christian doesn't work in the mines like most of the whitefellas in town.He's a midwife, working with the Indigenous women of remote Arnhem Land to help them birth their babies.Further informationLearn more about Christian's research into pregnancy and birthDiscover the program to train women as Djakamirr, to help Yolŋu women give birth on their own countryChristian also recommends the book Why Warriors Lie Down and Die by Richard Trudgen as a valuable resource on Indigenous AustraliaTo binge even more great episodes of the ‘Conversations podcast’ with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, singers, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

Philippa's parents wanted her to move in the 'right' circles, so they sent her to a Swiss finishing school. Instead she became a debt collector, went to Hamburger University then became a psychotherapist

Maggie grew up around boys, then raised four sons of her own. Now she helps parents understand the changes teenage boys are going through as they cross the bridge from boyhood to manhoodMaggie Dent grew up in the country and she always felt she 'spoke bloke'.As a high school teacher and a family counsellor, she discovered she had a real affinity for teenage boys, and understood how to communicate with them.It helped that she was also the mother of four sons.In her conversations with parents she often found they were bewildered by their teenage sons.They said it was as though an alien had landed in their family and their sweet boy had been replaced by an unpredictable and sometimes monosyllabic human.But Maggie says we often don't realise how vulnerable teenage boys are as they grow into adulthood.She believes if parents learn about some of the ways the brain changes during adolescence, it can make for much better ways to communicate.Further informationFrom Boys to Men is published by Pan MacMillanListen to Maggie's podcast Parental as AnythingTo binge even more great episodes of the ‘Conversations podcast’ with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, singers, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

Comedian and writer John Doyle was raised in a mining town in a music-loving Catholic family. Behind closed doors, his family life was often turbulent, as his sister Jen had been born profoundly autistic at a time when the condition had no name

Glennon made a big name for herself in the US as a ‘Christian mommy blogger’ with her candid and often hilarious writing when she fell wildly in love with U.S Women's Soccer star Abby WambachAlongside her blackly funny posts about the challenges of parenting, Glennon wrote about her recovery from alcoholism and bulimia.She encouraged her growing tribe of followers to feel their feelings rather than numbing them.Glennon then used her platform to create an all-women-led non profit organization.Together Rising has raised $27 million for women, families, and children in crisis.A few years ago Glennon's husband Craig confessed he'd been unfaithful to her for years.She decided to stay in the marriage and fight for it.In 2017 Glennon was at a conference launching her book Love Warrior about recommitting to her marriage.When she saw US women’s soccer star, Abby Wambach, Glennon immediately fell madly in love.She upended her life to be with her, and had to rethink many of her ideas about marriage and motherhood in the process.Further informationUntamed: Stop Pleasing and Start Living is published by VermillionLearn more about Together RisingTo binge even more great episodes of the ‘Conversations podcast’ with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, singers, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

Kate Leaver became fascinated by the curative qualities of dogs after her Shih Tzu Bertie helped her through her darkest days

Mark is an experienced consultant psychiatrist who also suffers from Australia's most common mental health condition, anxiety. His direct insight helps him understand how people with anxiety can thrive at work and in lifeMark is a consultant psychiatrist with thirty years' experience, a senior university lecturer, and specialist in the mental health of young people.He came to public attention in Australia through the landmark ABC TV series, Changing Minds.The series went inside Campbelltown Hospital’s mental health facility where Mark was senior psychiatrist at the time, and in charge of the youth ward. Away from work, Mark's suffered from anxiety his whole life, as did his mother and grandmother.Anxiety is extremely common in Australia, with up to one in four people suffering at some time in their lives.Even so, Mark says for medical professionals, disclosing a mental health condition remains especially difficult.But it does give him direct insight into navigating life and work with this pernicious condition.Further informationAnxiety is published by ABC BooksListen to Mark's 2016 interview with Richard FidlerExplore a collection of our conversations with mental health professionalsMental health servicesFind the mental health service you needSANE AustraliaIf you need to talk, you can phone Lifeline 24/ 7 Phone 13 11 14Bushfire Recovery Phone 13 43 57To binge even more great episodes of the ‘Conversations podcast’ with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, singers, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

Esther is a therapist who spent years studying intimacy, monogamy and sexuality. She became the world's most well-known expert on modern loveWhen Esther was a teenager she was voraciously curious about human behaviour.She thought she'd become a journalist or a translator, but instead she grew up to become the world's most famous contemporary psychotherapist.Esther became known around the world after the release of her podcast "Where Should We Begin?" in which she counsels real-life couples who are on the brink of marital breakdown.In her sessions she's often exploring the tension between the need for security in a relationship, and the need for some distance and a sense of adventure, to keep the spark alive.Esther says when you choose a partner you choose a story, and by doing so, you're often recruited for a part you never expected to play.Further informationThe State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity is published by Yellow Kite BooksListen to the podcast Where Should We Begin?To binge even more great episodes of the ‘Conversations podcast’ with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, singers, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

Demystifying the art of talk therapy and the complex relationship between therapist and patientPsychotherapy, also known as 'the talking cure', is based on a profound and usually ongoing connection between a person and their therapist.This type of work, often dealing with long buried events or feelings, can be transformative for patients.Gill Straker has a lifetime of experience as a psychotherapist, in Australia and in her birthplace, South Africa.Her work counselling victims of brutality and trauma during the apartheid regime was fundamental to her ongoing practice.At the heart of every successful therapeutic session, says Gill, is a willingness to be present, open, and to learn from each other.She encourages people to include the health of their minds as well as their bodies, when looking to improve their wellbeing.Further informationThe Talking Cure by Professor Gillian Straker and Dr Jacqui Winship is published by MacmillanGill is a clinical professor in the School of Psychology at Sydney UniversityTo binge even more great episodes of the ‘Conversations podcast’ with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, singers, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.

Paul Gilbert on how our brains are wired for inner conflict and possible cruelty, and what to do about it

Helen Elliot was working as a psychologist when she became so ill she was held in a locked psychiatric ward

Broadcast date: Thursday 21 February 2013