Cut & Retie

This week, Captain Ross Robertson teaches us how to pick the perfect Yeti products for a baby shower, we yell at old men who are watching fish porn while missing actual fish on the line, slug a Four Loko before unveiling a bite so secret it doesn't actually exist, and chew bubble gum while chewing out everyone who's following us around the lake. 

Guide Jacob Ott explains how tennis balls and river rocks don't mix, then follows up with naked trout stream fury

This week, Riverhorse Nakadate takes a cold plunge with Johnny Utah and makes Dairy Queen sound better than ever, we nearly die trying to reach brook trout that we decide not to cast too, get rowdy at the Barnes & Noble with INXS after fighting a car thief, and cure food poisoning with a 9-inch worm and homemade blueberry pie. 

This week, artist, sculptor and angler, Ben Keating, makes perfect chicken Parm and gets rappers to give up their bling for charity, we lose in a fishing tournament but win for most diapers reeled in, launch flip-flops at the Verrazano Bridge and then go pheasant hunting in a dirt lot, and get our jean jackets airbrushed while attacking fluke with a cane pole.

This week, Kevin Blinkoff from "On The Water" cozies up under an afghan and tells us about catching snook that are actually catfish, we pop a Xanax and pray our boat will be fixed in time to score a bite under the fillet table, eat sandwiches under a bridge as downpours dash our glide bait hopes, and pledge to make fishing in mumus cool again. 

This week, veteran Florida captain Ed Zyak gets turned off by crackers and turned on to homemade sun protection paste, we threaten to burn down the house of all the fish unwilling to smash a live croaker, get the shoulder pat of glory after gawking at massive resident dock pets, and lose the brakes on our truck just as we're trying to make a good impression on a legendary fishing writer.

This week, Tim Romano beams in to tell us about his favorite alpaca mousing sweater, we wrap ourselves in wet bed sheets and take a drive with the mayor of Gunnison Canyon, cry about the lack of water in the West and rejoice over the film "Spring Breakers," and opt into being total weirdos at the bass club and ghetto continental breakfast.

John Frazier abandons his fly rod, saves the baby, pays the pole dancer, and suffers the long-term consequences

This week, veteran captain Frank Campbell drags a Chinook behind his truck on the way to buy organizational storage bins, we drop a pile of loose crankbaits on the floor of boat and then refuse to use them, insist we know better than the guide when it comes to screaming at no one like a YouTuber, and fill a shopping cart with rancid fish in the name of charity. 

This week, "BigWater Adventures" host, Mark Davis, mops up liquid attractant after getting denied a dream muskie trip, we stick a state-record red horse in the wrong hole just before screwing up our pole dance, pull our truck out of the river in time to smack a few gale force smallies, and force our kids to eat fish that taste like sadness. 

This week, guide, author, and actor Ken Baldwin gets drunk and disorderly on the set of "Rudy," we suffer through Yoo-Hoo and bourbon to stick smallmouths in a gale, bring a hundred pounds of chum salmon home to our ungrateful wives and children, and give our clients some hot air so their bear spray doesn't blow up in the tent. 

This week, fly guide Miles Marquez teaches us to fold T-shirts and cast only one direction on an English chalk stream, we explain how catching one rainbow trout can almost get you court martialed, throw our skateboards in a rented car we shouldn't have and drive to Trout Town U.S.A., and strong arm innocent tourists on a street corner into fishing with us by pretending to be their best friends. 

This week, West Virginia fly guide Jacob Ott teaches Jamie Cermele how to ask the most annoying client questions, we run the Saturday palomino gauntlet until a whiskey double becomes the only cure for insanity, flail dry-dropper combos into every tree within 20 feet of 600 hungry rainbows, and harvest wild ramps after netting the brook trout of a 7-year-old lifetime. 

This week, artist and guide Joe Forrestall of 603 Glass takes us mousing for browns with Wesley Pipes, we drop a molten sphere into our nether region and pass explosive diarrhea on to our good friends, stalk turkeys at the craft fair during a government sting operation, and explain that bowls are only for cereal and you may not hot box the pop-up ice shelter. 

This week, veteran TV angler and Bassmaster emcee, Dave Mercer, explains why Canadian anglers won't wave at you if your truck's on fire, we get featured on the news and blame Joe Montana, offer one-minute tips to people who can't spend 30 seconds soaking cut bait, and Hawg Craw our way to amazing underwater footage of fish choking to death. 

The week, Obedie Williams of "Rippn Lipps" tapes a muffin topper to his steering wheel and cooks a stocked trout feast, we make guerrilla fishing DVDs and pass them out around the hot tub, get too drunk to chase younder stripers, and punch mats so hard we have to make them sign a waiver. 

This week river rat Paul Cain revs the "Shit Runner 2" for big-water trout redemption not involving anything chartreuse, we fail to impress our parents with our fire breathing skills, discuss the joys of auto anchor deployment when hunting trophy "inlands," travel back to 1982 for wings, and refuse to back down on proving fish like to eat live minnows. 

This week, striper legends Billy "The Greek" Legakis and "Crazy" Alberto Knie argue over parking tickets and the patrol schedules of Long Island state troopers, we stick 60-pound bass while dodging drunk drivers and saving our new hats, explain why there's more art in soaking bait than making sushi, and cast eel skin plugs on weed whacker cable during non-human hours.

This week, Jimmy Fee, Matt Haeffner, and Nick Cancelliere from "On The Water" mark their calendars for the tarred line perch fishing seminar, we let sexy ladies fill our mouths with fiberglass while jigging snake mackerel, lose the striper of a lifetime during a Swiss cheese incident, and donate a kidney to a woman with tired feet who doesn't care at all about fishing. 

This week, veteran fish taxidermist Jimmy Lawrence uses plumber's foam to silence morbid K9 requests, we catch massive bluegills where people are still proud to be your neighbor, explain why Teddy Ruxpin eyes are a bad choice for your trophy walleye mount, and pack a record snakehead up for deployment to Gloryland. 

This week, veteran captain Gene Quigley covers himself in pickled herring before the bilge pumps fail 100 miles offshore, we hunt giant bluefin tuna with yellow 4-weight Fenwick fly rods, say the very wrong thing during a very right mahi-mahi bite, and score swordfish on a party boat filled with South Philly zombies.

This week, Nate P. and veteran guide Tim Moore rescue idiots in short boots from the New Hampshire slush of doom, we use LiveScope to check the consistency of a nice burbot chowder, jig massive white perch with gear we didn't need to bring, and get into a scissor fight over the most evil and disturbing live bait known to man. 

This week, Miles Nolte jumps in a helicopter and flies right to the Cricket Wireless store, we find 8-pound trout on dries but can't locate the whiskey we buried, slog through nipple deep costume jewelry dilemmas, and sing nu-metal songs instead of the reciting the Hail Marys a priest told us we really need to say.

This week, big bait maestro Oliver Ngy drops in to exchange vows about not buying unproven lures off Facebook, we make sure everyone at the outdoor show knows our opinion of whatever they're touching, destroy a perfectly good lobster dinner by wearing basketball shoes to the boat, and ruin bass fishing by casting seven whole farm raised trout into a tree. 

This week, Rio fly designer and veteran guide, Brita Fordice, passes on GTs to perform triggerfish home invasions, we whip up some killer mantis shrimp and feed them to a life-sized Nut Cracker, get chased by creepers as we try to grab an endangered animal, and explain why the bugs you tied are just too special to lose so maybe try her patterns instead.

This week, bass historian, Ken Duke, connects the mob to the worst bass lure ever made, we compare ascots and aloha shirts, slip a sneaky snake into the ICAST show, and learn why nobody on Lake Biwa uses the helicopter lure. 

This week, "Book of Quint" author, Ryan Dacko, drops by to give whale and dolphin coloring books to your sister, we go to the end of the pulpit only to find a Hoagie and a "Jaws" shoe horn, write DiCaprio into a cinematic masterpiece featuring at least one toll booth scene, and learn our favorite hero's rot-gut moonshine recipe.

This week, Dan Donovan and Josh "BamBam" Smeltzer of the Musky Fools get all horned up about banging respectable water bears, we have a legal discussion on common law boat ownership and why it's a bad idea, reject any sorry excuse you've ever had for losing a fish, and really want to go home but refuse to be the ones to say that. 

This week, Joe's mom and Uncle Ron drop by to reminisce about growing up in a tackle shop and drinking with Popcorn The Clown, we reel in dolphin while sound asleep, steal a wooden striper during a frat hazing, and debunk near-death experiences while minnow trapping.

This week, artist Jake Keeler draws the angel of death cradling a steelhead and fondly remembers singing about yeast on the internet, we fish with rock stars and get raided by the police, learn why nature is not as metal as it was in the 90s, and step over a drunk guy at the tackle shop.

This week, Captain Eric Kerber, Matt Farrell, and "Neighbor" Steve McIntyre pile into the Bunker to tag last-minute sheep before the ball drops, we help children in need of looser drags, rebuild entire fuel lines during fishy Kodak moments, and pay for family therapy after an unexpected rabbit execution.

This week, Miles Nolte waves his tree flag at all the people matching the Christmas hatch, we buy dolls off a sniper after almost possibly going fishing, pit Pokemon against Gene Simmons during a hardwater meltdown, and unleash the thunderclap on unsuspecting children that cannot sing or handle guitar lessons.

This week, hardcore kayak angler Kevin Hughes loses his seat after putting on a sea trout clinic, we debate puck or ball as it relates to nearly capsizing in the icy depths of Virginian PCBs, make everyone else on the boat uncomfortable with how we choose to relieve ourselves, and get divorced over a lack of fire tiger. 

This week, guide Marty Yi eats a $26 potato after surviving an earthquake in steelhead country, we lose the Zippo of a lifetime because we refuse to stand up in the boat, buy a few clowned-up Dollies at the northernmost J.C. Penny, and open a remote lodge in a land with no Wendy's. 

This week, Zach "Hammer" Miller double hauls his way into a Karen altercation on the Jersey Turnpike, we trade a case of beer for stripers by the garbage dump, chase toothy sweetwater fish with totally clear sinuses, and take the edge off missing the cows with some salami snacks.

This week, Captain Frank Crescitelli and Quantum's Sam Zyack lose their shirts betting on two seagulls for striper action, we hook ourselves in the ankle and get stylish in a convenience store bathroom, cover miles of beach chasing massage opportunities, and invite the Situation over for a slice of meat lovers. 

This week, Captain Zach Flake and Mike Carr fail to lock a Temu Boga grip on the lips of a lifetime striper, we chew some putrid fat while snapping our brand new fly rods, spend a New York minute avoiding serious hand injuries, and hunt glide bait carp in a sea of forever chemicals. 

This week, Jimmy Fee slugs a gallon of chorizo grease and watches close friends wrangle blackfish of lifetimes, we stem the flow of blood by applying crab guts to the wound, give the worst rod to the group member that doesn't know good tackle anyway, and settle for just enough tuna scraps to top a frozen bar pie. 

This week, C&R listeners share their tales of alien probings and night nurses from hell, we'll betray our grandmas by divulging a grim family fishing secret, fend off a beast lurking in the golf course fog, use human flesh to bait in a pond stalker, and get terminated by cow-mutilating lasers. 

This week, Neil Krauter of the US Surf Fishing Team shares his favorite tarpon meatball recipe and gets flagged at customs for his heavy braid, we block a whole other country from kerning in on the bar during a blitz, hire judges so people stop calling 20-pound stripers "50s," and compare what's in each other's lure purse.

This week, "On The Run" author Dave DiBenedetto watches "Cops" before skishing for gator bluefish, we challenge pollock-hungry firemen to a cigarette smoking contest, put our moms on the "tarpon with strangers" diet, and add a little tuna to the striper sniper's lure bag. 

This week, Miles Nolte tries upside down slow-pitch jigging in front of a moving battle ship, we convince a fan we love pumpkin spice and actually know his name, hammer sand bass next to a belly boat legend, and eat corvina ceviche while watching "Kids In The Hall." 

This week, Joe and Miles Nolte team up with the legendary Conway Bowman to hunt for makos in the dolphin killing fields, we scold Kurt Cobain for spitting in our beer, tell you why you should never order jungle short ribs in Thailand, and do weird tourist stuff on the beach in front of War Child. 

This week, legendary chrome hunter Josh Mills skates for Columbia River kings and ends up getting the "boot," we negotiate for a fly reel with a man who doesn't know a carp from an oven, throw the "back breaker" for false albacore, and smoke a few record walleyes that walleye guys don't seem to care about.

This week, artist Mike Sudal runs out of gas on his way to Italian mystery tuna, we miss our shot at a huge marble trout because our kid wants a new Transformer, nearly get sucked over the dam because our bathing suit is too tight, and forget to close our snap swivel in a moment of heat stroke-induced panic

This week, Wisconsin fly guide Tim Landwehr scolds you for sniffing all the purple bucktails, we set our eyebrows on fire in the middle of a flying ant hatch, reef on giant smallmouths while keeping a legend's legs elevated, and mosh at the Pat Benatar show in a Green Bay basement.

This week, international fly guide Oliver Jones tanks a few beers and gets handsy with one of the deadliest animals on the planet, we nearly starve to death trying to get rich people on goliath tiger fish, run our tri-hull ski boat into the perfect marlin fishing storm, and apologize profusely for the amount of killer bees buzzing around your Waygu beef. 

This week, Roel Trum of SPRO Europe explains why you're lame if you troll where he lives, too, we throw massive poppers at fish that have no business eating them, rock Chuck Taylors on the courtesy dock before trashing a few asps, and decide once and for all that zander are much cooler than walleyes. 

This week, Drew Price and Rowan Lytle return to Jersey for another shot at snakehead fly victory and fresh fruit salad, we embarrass ourselves in front of jobless girls in tiny bikinis, shred our feet on the way to anger management therapy, and throw our rods right into the middle of a government bowfin cover-up conspiracy

This week, fly guides Joe Demalderis and Pete Horger woo gas station girls with Kenny Loggins tracks and their black-belt rodent skills, we fight midnight brown trout with antacid and turkey subs, feed frogs to rock bass, and drop bad reviews because our coolers aren't full.