Divorce with Carolyn

Building a support network during divorce isn't optional – it's infrastructure. In this conversation, Carolyn talks with her close friend Gillian about the real art of asking for help: why it feels so hard, how to do it practically, and who belongs in your support team – both personally and professionally. Gillian shares her own experience navigating an unexpected separation, building a network of friends, neighbours, and professionals, and why getting a lawyer and a psychologist on board early made all the difference. Honest, warm, and grounded in lived experience.Key takeaways:Asking for help feels harder than receiving it – but the people around you want to help. Give them something specific to do.Your executive functioning is genuinely impaired during the early stages of separation. A support network isn't self-indulgent; it's necessary.Start with what's close: neighbours, school parents, and anyone with proximity to your daily life can help with practical logistics.Your professional team matters too – a lawyer, a psychologist, and your GP each play a distinct role, and getting them in place early is worth it.Not all support is equal – some people will fuss unhelpfully, others will bring judgment. Know who your trusted people are, and redirect the rest.Even a small network can grow quickly in acute emotional times. Friendships formed during this period are often among the most enduring.Building your support network isn't a luxury. It's the infrastructure that carries you through.Helpful links:Mental Health Treatment Plans (Australia): https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/mental-health-care-and-medicareCoping with divorce (mental health tips): https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/coping-with-divorce-or-breakupWomen's Legal Service (Qld - google for similar services in your area): https://wlsq.org.au/Send Carolyn a textREADY FOR MORE SUPPORT?Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.comCONNECT WITH US:Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy Facebook: Women's Divorce AcademySUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

Alyssa thought she'd married the love of her life. What she didn't know was that her husband had been deceiving her in almost every way imaginable - an affair, gambling debts, drug use, and lies that unravelled her entire sense of reality. When he told Alyssa he wanted a divorce, she was completely blindsided.What followed was one of the hardest seasons of her life. Severe anxiety and depression. Months of barely functioning. And the slow, painful work of rebuilding herself from the ground up.In this episode, Alyssa shares the real story of how she got through it - the therapy, the medication, the army of support, the comfort TV, and the one decision that changed everything. She talks about solo travel as a path to rediscovering herself, what she learned about trust and red flags when she started dating again, and how she went on to double her salary, remarry a genuinely kind man, and build a life she never could have imagined.This is the episode to share with a friend who has just been blindsided. It's honest, it's warm, and it's living proof that the other side exists - and it's even better than you might have hoped. Links Mentioned- G Adventures (group travel for solo travellers): gadventures.com- Wi-Fi Tribe (remote work travel community): wifitribe.coIf You Need Mental Health Support Through A Tough Time Don't Hesitate To Contact:- Beyond Blue - Anxiety and Depression Support (Australia): beyondblue.org.au- Lifeline Australia (24/7 crisis support): lifeline.org.auSend Carolyn a textREADY FOR MORE SUPPORT?Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.comCONNECT WITH US:Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy Facebook: Women's Divorce AcademySUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

In this special episode, Carolyn is joined by her 21-year-old son Connor for an honest, warm, and sometimes confronting conversation about what it's really like to grow up through parental separation. Connor experienced two of Carolyn's separations – at age two and age twelve – and shares what helped, what didn't, and what he wishes had been done differently. An important listen for any parent worried about what divorce is doing to their children.Key TakeawaysDivorce is not inherently damaging – but children are far more perceptive than parents often realise. They can feel tension and unhappiness even without words for it.What children absorb from the relationship they witness matters. The dynamics they grow up around quietly shape their own relationship patterns.Consistency and communication – within your own home, and with your children – are the two most important factors in helping children through separation.Parallel parenting is a valid and supported option when co-parenting communication is difficult. Keeping an open channel with your children is what matters most.Listening to your children – even when it's uncomfortable – is more important than keeping up appearances of neutrality. They need to feel they aren't alone in their feelings.Links and Resources MentionedWomen's Divorce Academy membership: https://www.womensdivorceacademy.com/our-programKids Helpline: kidshelp.com.auRaising Children Network: raisingchildren.net.auAustralian Psychological Society — Find a Psychologist: psychology.org.au/find-a-psychologistRelationships Australia: relationships.org.auSend Carolyn a textREADY FOR MORE SUPPORT?Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.comCONNECT WITH US:Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy Facebook: Women's Divorce AcademySUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

Ever stared at a pile of financial documents and felt completely out of your depth? Me too – but Julie Garis is here to help. Julie is a forensic accountant who specialises in helping women navigate the financial side of separation and property settlement. Julie has been through divorce herself – and she brings both professional expertise and lived experience to everything she does.We cover what she actually does (and how it's different from what your lawyer does), the financial red flags to watch for, what to do if you suspect your ex isn't disclosing everything, and why 'fair' might not be the right thing to aim for – and what question to ask instead.Key takeawaysThe earlier you get organised, the better. Arriving at your lawyer's office prepared (with a relationship timeline, asset list, and key financial documents) can save you significant legal fees.Business structures, crypto, undisclosed accounts and gambling are among the most common financial issues she encounters - and she shares what to do in those circumstances.'Fair' is rarely how property settlement feels for either party. The better question is: can I live with this outcome?Financial clarity after settlement can be life-changing – many women discover their own competence with money for the first time.Resources mentionedJulies' free First Steps: Financial Settlement Preparation checklist – https://www.simplesplitfinancials.com.au/checklistNaomi Holmes – women's financial literacy – listen to our podcast with Naomi in episode 1Women's Divorce Academy membership – womensdivorceacademy.comSend Carolyn a textREADY FOR MORE SUPPORT?Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.comCONNECT WITH US:Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy Facebook: Women's Divorce AcademySUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

If you're going through separation or divorce right now, this episode is for you. After seven years running Women's Divorce Academy and walking alongside over 800 women, I've seen the same 5 mistakes come up again and again – not because women aren't smart or capable, but because nobody tells them this stuff. In this episode I name each one clearly, explain why it happens, and share exactly what to do instead.KEY TAKEAWAYSGetting independent legal advice early – even just one consultation – can change everything.Keeping things 'nice' is not the same as keeping things functional. You're allowed to have needs in this process.Equal and fair are not the same thing. 50/50 is not automatically the right outcome.Rushing to settle can cost you. Taking time to understand your situation leads to better decisions.Children are not primarily damaged by separation – they're damaged by sustained conflict. Having at least one stable, loving parent is what matters most.RESEARCH MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEAmato, P.R. & Keith, B. (1991). Parental divorce and the well-being of children: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 110(1), 26–46.Arcangeli et al. (2024). Does Time Heal All Wounds? Journal of Happiness Studies. University of South Australia & University of Adelaide. doi.org/10.1007/s10902-024-00853-5Clark & Georgellis, Kingston University London — 20-year longitudinal study, 10,000 participants.Send Carolyn a textREADY FOR MORE SUPPORT?Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.comCONNECT WITH US:Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy Facebook: Women's Divorce AcademySUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

Carolyn speaks with clinical nutritionist Susie Allen about what divorce and chronic stress actually do to your body – and what you can do about it. Susie draws on her own experience of two divorces and her clinical work to explain how the nervous system responds to prolonged pressure, why so many women find themselves wired but exhausted, and how simple nutritional choices can help break that cycle.We talk about adrenaline and fight-or-flight, the gut-brain axis, protein at breakfast, resistant starch (and how potatoes can actually be your friend OMG), sleep disruption, alcohol, and quick meals for when you're running on empty.Key takeawaysRunning on adrenaline depletes magnesium, B vitamins, and the building blocks for key neurotransmittersProtein at breakfast – within 30 to 60 minutes of waking, before coffee – sends a safety signal to your nervous systemCooking potatoes, rice, and pasta the day before and refrigerating overnight converts them to resistant starch – better for your gut and absorbed differentlyLate-night sugar and alcohol spike cortisol, disrupting sleep and contributing to the 3am wake-up (booooo!)Morning sunlight triggers the melatonin cycle and supports better evening sleepGuestSusie Allen — Nutritionist, Your Vitality NutritionWebsite: www.yourvitalitynutrition.com.auInstagram & Facebook: @yourvitalitynutritionEbook: Suddenly Single: https://yourvitalitynutrition.thrivecart.com/suddenly-single-ebook/Resources mentionedSusie's ebook: Suddenly Single – https://yourvitalitynutrition.thrivecart.com/suddenly-single-ebook/ (or FREE inside the Women's Divorce Academy membership – www.womensdivorceacademy.com/our-program)Wholesomeness (Queensland, Northern NSW, Sydney, Melbourne) – wholesomeness.com.auYoufoodz – https://www.youfoodz.com/Send Carolyn a textREADY FOR MORE SUPPORT?Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.comCONNECT WITH US:Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy Facebook: Women's Divorce AcademySUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

If you've ever felt completely wired at 2am, unable to make decisions, or like you're operating purely on adrenaline – this episode is for you.I'm joined by my brilliant friend Danielle Colley – integrative life coach and author, and someone who has walked this divorce road herself – to talk about what's actually happening to your nervous system during separation, why sleep feels impossible, how to parent through the fog, and what consistently moves women from survival mode to steadier ground.Key TakeawaysYour nervous system responds to divorce as though it's life-threatening danger because uncertainty activates the threat responseFight, flight, freeze, and fawn are all normal responses to separation stressSleep disruption happens because your brain has nothing to do at night but worry – cortisol and adrenaline don't know it's bedtimeThe 'brain soup' technique – simply writing down everything in your head – can significantly reduce overnight spirallingYou don't have to pretend to be fine in front of your children; age-appropriate honesty often brings you closer togetherSigns that you may need additional support: disengagement, inability to get out of bed, prolonged numbness or heightened emotionThree daily practices that move the needle: consistent sleep, a gratitude practice, and regular moments of pauseBreathwork, somatic therapy, and EMDR can all help when talk therapy isn't enoughThe question 'What do I want?' eventually becomes available – and it's worth having a list ready when it doesResources MentionedLifeline: 13 11 14 — lifeline.org.au1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 — 1800respect.org.auRelationships Australia: 1300 364 277 — relationships.org.auMartin Seligman's gratitude research — positivepsychology.comAbout Danielle ColleyDanielle Colley is an integrative life coach and author who works with women navigating major life transitions. She brings both professional training and personal lived experience to her work. You can find her at https://daniellecolley.com.au/Send Carolyn a textREADY FOR MORE SUPPORT?Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.comCONNECT WITH US:Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy Facebook: Women's Divorce AcademySUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

What if your divorce came without any shame at all? Not less shame – no shame? For most women, that question feels almost impossible to answer. In this episode, Carolyn explores the deep cultural, historical and personal roots of divorce shame, what the research says about how women's lives improve after separation, and four grounded ways to start loosening shame's grip. Plus a simple journalling exercise you can try tonight. Warm, honest, and evidence-backed.Key takeawaysShame doesn't start at divorce – it activates something already present from cultural and personal conditioning.Women internalise relationship breakdowns far more than men, and research confirms this has measurable effects on mental health and self-esteem.A 20-year Kingston University study found women report significant increases in contentment and life satisfaction for up to five years after divorce.100% of Women's Divorce Academy members surveyed (separated 12+ months) said they were happier after divorce.Shame can't survive being spoken aloud to one safe person — connection is the antidote.Patterns in your relationship history are not proof that something is intrinsically wrong with you. They reflect what you learned and believed you deserved — and that can change.A simple journalling exercise can help you examine and dismantle shame gently over time.Resources mentionedBooksThe Wife Drought — Annabel Crabb Daring Greatly — Brené Brown Self Help — Gabby Bernstein ResearchBMC Psychology — Self-Stigma and Mental Health in Divorced Single-Parent Women Kingston University 20-year study — ScienceDaily reportMeditationInsight Timer — free appSarah Blondin on Insight TimerTara Brach on Insight TimerMental health support (Australia)Mental health treatment plan — HealthdirectSend Carolyn a textREADY FOR MORE SUPPORT?Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.comCONNECT WITH US:Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy Facebook: Women's Divorce AcademySUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

When Gill's husband suddenly ended their 16-year marriage, she was blindsided. She thought they had a strong relationship - something they could work on together. Instead, the decision was made without her, and she was left reeling.In the early days, Gill couldn't sleep. She was spiralling with catastrophic thoughts about her future and her children's wellbeing. She felt ashamed, broken, and terrified about what came next.But with the support of friends, family, therapy, and a lot of hard work, Gill not only survived - she thrived. Eight years later, she's remarried, has a beautiful relationship with her teenage boys, and genuinely believes her divorce was the best thing that could have happened to her.In this episode, we cover:What it's like when separation comes as a complete shockThe shame and judgment Gill faced (especially at her children's Catholic school)How she built her parenting confidence as a single mumWhy therapy and understanding how your brain works was a game-changerMeeting someone new on Tinder - and why she waited six years before moving in togetherThe importance of evolving together in relationshipsWhat she'd tell herself in that first devastating weekKey takeaways:Your feelings are valid - all of them, including angerThe only way through is through (as infuriating as that sounds)You don't have to follow anyone else's timeline for healing or datingCommunication and staying true to yourself are essential in any relationshipRecovery takes time, but it is absolutely possibleIf you're going through separation right now and struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, Gill's story will remind you that you can not only survive this - you can build something even better on the other side.Resources mentioned:Women's Divorce Academy coaching and communityTara Brach's RAIN techniqueMental health care plans through your GP (Australia only)Send Carolyn a textREADY FOR MORE SUPPORT?Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.comCONNECT WITH US:Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy Facebook: Women's Divorce AcademySUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

Separation changes many things. Money is usually one of the biggest.For many women, money is the part of divorce that feels the most frightening.In this episode, Carolyn Tate is joined by money coach Naomi Holmes (Her Money Matters) to talk about divorce finances, budgeting after separation, and rebuilding financial confidence when everything feels uncertain.If you’re newly separated and worried about money — unsure what’s coming in, what’s going out, or how you’ll manage on one income — this conversation offers practical, steady guidance.We cover:• Why women are often left out of financial decisions during marriage • The avoidance spiral (yes, the unopened envelopes) • The first two numbers to focus on after separation • Simple budgeting tools for life after divorce • Talking to your bank and negotiating payment plans • Building an emergency fund on a single income • Superannuation in divorce settlements — and why it matters long termNaomi shares her practical “bucket system” for managing cash flow, how to move from fear to clarity, and why understanding your money gives you back a sense of control.This is a grounded conversation about money after divorce — clear, realistic and free of shame.If divorce has shaken your financial footing, this episode will help you take the next small step with more confidence.Links and ResourcesHer Money Matters — Naomi Holmes https://hermonymatters.com.auMoneySmart Budgeting Tool (Australian Government) https://moneysmart.gov.auWomen’s Divorce Academy https://womensdivorceacademy.comSend Carolyn a textREADY FOR MORE SUPPORT?Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.comCONNECT WITH US:Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy Facebook: Women's Divorce AcademySUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

Divorce is hard. There's no sugar-coating that. But what if moving through it – really moving through it – could lead you to a life that's better than anything you left behind?In this first episode of Divorce With Carolyn, I share my own story: the quiet New Year's Eve moment that made everything clear, and the five phases that took me from broke, scared, and overwhelmed to a life I genuinely love.Whether you're just starting to think about leaving, deep in the paperwork, or trying to find your feet on the other side – this episode will help you work out exactly where you are and what you need right now.The five phases of divorce:The moment you knowThe business of divorceGetting your footingGetting back to youBuilding something betterReady for real support, practical tools, and a community of women who genuinely get it? Join us at womensdivorceacademy.com.Send Carolyn a textREADY FOR MORE SUPPORT?Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.comCONNECT WITH US:Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy Facebook: Women's Divorce AcademySUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!