Emotional Bytes

In this episode Jas Mendola and Sophia Rivera discuss a case of Erotomanic fixation that was presented to them by a distraught daughter worried about her elderly mother and her susceptibility to romantic delusions and fixations.

Today Gillian rogers and Jas Mendola look at identity needs and how they influence our emotions.

Today we look at attachment theory through the rich dynamics of that classic show - “Modern Family”.

We often attribute someone else’s bad behaviour to their personality but our own bad behaviour to circumstances. Where we attribute cause influences where we place blame and has a huge effect on the meaning we attribute and feelings about that situation. Today we consider attribution and its effect on our emotions.

Today we look at part 2 of invisible structures. How to know, understand and navigate these invisible structures that operate within us and around us and between us.

Should respect be something that is practiced by all or something that is given to all? There are many social nuances to respect related to how we behave and how we treat each other. Should respect be given freely or should it be earned? How do our actions influence the respect we recieve?

The final part of our trilogy of respect we look at power dynamics, punishment and how to approach conflict with the aim of understanding and communication instead of control and manipulation. Family is something that can be a constant where we learn lessons about relationships that we can apply to the wider world.

Today we take a look at disrespect, conflict and communication respect from a personal and practical point of view as our host examines respect in the context of his relationship with his own daughter.

Today we look at the concept of respect in a family situation including the evolving nature of respect and what a “respect toolkit” might look like to enable others to feel respected. We also look at interdependence theory and how that relates to respect.

Today we contest Limerence with Authentic Love. What is it? What does it look like? How do we cultivate it? How do we recognise and attract authentic love?

Today we look at how to set goals, we revisit intrinsic motivation and examine different procrastination styles and how to deal with them.

Today we dive into Shalom Schwartz’s theory of basic human values. What are they? How do they change? How do they influence our behaviour? What happens when our values clash and how do these concepts influence our internal narrative?

Today we do a roundup of some of the appraisal concepts explored so far, we look at some of the emotions from a slightly different angle and throw in surprise and passion as well. What exactly are some of the best strategies for dealing with the experience of feelings and being human?

So good we created part 2. A further look at Fear and anxiety along with some ways of changing your relationship with anxiety.

Today we look at part one of our exploration of Fear and anxiety. What are they? How are they different? What does it do in the brain? Attachment roots of chronic fear and anxiety in relationships. Can we look at fear in a new way?

Enough of the gloom. We look at the appraisals associated with positive emotions.. Spoiler: pleasantness, certainty and relevance.

Today we look at those self-conscious social emotions - shame, guilt and pride. What influences it? How can we understand it?

Today we look at disappointment and regret and in particular, what is the relationship of guilt and regret to our values and what appraisals shape these feelings.

We explore “Modes of Action Readiness”,how these emotions manifest in the body, and the effect that this has on the manifestation of two different types of anger reactions and two different types of sadness.

Exploring the negative interpersonal emotions - Anger, Contempt and Hatred. What unconscious processes give rise to these emotional concepts? How are they similar? How are they different?

How scientists model the different mental processes and language concepts that contribute to our mind’s understanding of what is happening in our body and environment to apply meaning out of that information with concepts that we call appraisals.

We look at the different conscious and unconscious levels that emotions are processed, how we build our understanding of what is happening in our body and the world around us to produce emotional experiences and the functions they serve.

We investigate Invisible Structures: those mental, emotional and social structures, largely invisible, mostly unconscious that influence our interactions with other people, ourselves and our environment. How can they be revealed? How can they be changed?

Exploring Kazimierz Dąbrowski's theory of personality development. Dąbrowski's theory of positive disintegration challenges traditional psychological views by recontextualizing negative emotional experiences as opportunities for growth and development, highlighting the importance of internal conflict in self-discovery, and emphasizing the role of personal agency in shaping one's personality.

Today we look at the work of Murray Bowen and his theory of the family as an emotional system that are characterized by the amount of differentiation vs enmeshment between the family members, which reflects the level of emotional turbulence in the family.

The euphoria, the intrusive thoughts, the idealisation, the longings , the questions, Is it love? Or Limerence.

We run on from our look at the Meta model with a look at one of it’s master practitioners: Raymond Reddington from the iconic show: The Blacklist

Having learned about Mentalizing, it is important to learn about non-mentalizing modes. Since non-mentalizing modes of communication can leave us feeling mystified, we’re going to look at Scooby and the gang to help us unravel this mystery.

Today we deep dive into the link between communication, behavior and identity by the foundational theory of mind known as of Mentalization.

Today we learn about “The Meta Model” - a central tenet of Neural Linguistic Programming (NLP) in order to understand deletions, generalisations and distortions, facets of language that stand in the way of clear and efficient communication. Get ready to level up your language in this life changing linguistic lesson. You’ll never see conversations the same way again.

Drawn from the work of Lisa Feldman Barrett and her team, this theory explores the possibility that emotions are not switches that can flipped on or off, neither can they be located exclusively in brain centres or read from our faces but that emotion is a by product of the brain running an energy budget for the body using a combination of prediction, interoception and meaning making and it is built on the fly depending on our situation and surroundings and culture. Interesting stuff!

In part two of our look into Emotional Granularity we run through a list of emotions on “the emotion wheel” and the associated needs underlying these emotions in order to give you consideration to all the different nuances needed to develop your emotional vocabulary and understanding.

A bit more of a practical episode and an overview of some of the concepts we have been discussing and we tie them all together under the headings of schemas. How do schemas play out in the context of emotions and relationships..

Emotional Granularity is the ability to identify and respond to emotions in all their nuances instead of reacting to the overall wave of the emotional current as washes over a situation. That ability to pause, identify and dig down into that emotional information is essential for good communication and well being. We have a look at where the idea of emotional granularity came from and how it’s linked to our emotional bytes.

You’ve seen the videos: “Are we living in a simulation”. Well, the answer is yes, but it’s not the matrix. Mirror Neurons are the ultimate simulation, repurposing bodily and neural pathways that enable us to understand the emotional and social world around us. They may even be the foundation of language, the source of empathy and the key to energy efficiency in the brain. Strap in, you’re in for a ride on this one!

Learn about attachment - that “operating system” that runs in the background of our mind and how this plays out in our close relationships. Think intimate partners, parents and children, even close friendships. Awareness of these patterns is the crucial beginning to rewriting those old neural pathways by generating new experiences.

Find out how the satisfaction of three psychological needs helps us feel more alive by firing up intrinsic motivation and how lack of choice and satisfying our ego will suck away our motivation faster than a vampire bat on Halloween. We also cover communication styles and link to the quest for meaning covered in the last episode.

Today is an introduction to the concept of Emotional Bytes - What are they and how do they influence our world.