Fifty Shades of Gender podcast artwork

PODCAST · health

Fifty Shades of Gender

We get curious about all things gender, sex and sexuality, as well as relationships, feminism (the inclusive kind), mental health and kink, and all that makes us humans unique and diverse. From body positivity to body dysmorphia, it's all welcome here. Come with us on a journey of inclusion, acceptance and respect.This podcast is for you if: • You're curious and want to learn more about experiences of gender outside the gender binary;• You are questioning your gender, or• You have a loved one who is, and you want to learn how to best support them.Other topics we cover on this podcast include neurodivergence, disability, parenting and family, transitioning, hormone therapy and other medical affirmative interventions, (extreme) body modification, BDSM, attraction types including asexuality and aromanticism, and much more. There is a content warning for sensitive subjects at the start of the episode if it applies.Esther (she/they/fae) is a creative rebel, intuitive designer, and que

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    117. FRANK LEVERMORE: trans genderfreak, genderqueer dyke

    Frank is a Counselling and Psychotherapy masters degree student with the goal of bringing accessible, trauma informed care to the queer community, and co-founder of the Queer Joy Movement in Norwich, UK. Frank's pronouns are he/they/she in sort of preference/frequency order, and he is a trans genderfreak and genderqueer dyke. Find out what that means to Frank in this episode. We also talk about the limitations of language, trans lesbianism, the journey of retransitioning, the importance of queer spaces and community, what it's like training to be a therapist, and the sacredness in finding yourself. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/frank 

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    116. KATY JON WENT #2: transgender, non-binary, asexual [post-gender]

    Katy Jon Went is a public speaker, educator and campaigner on many subjects including sex and gender.  Katy's pronouns are they/them, she/her, but tolerates occasional he/hims. They see themselves as a transgender person, identify as non-binary and asexual, and where they've landed since our last conversation is post-gender. Find out what that means to Katy in this episode. We also talk about holding opposing truths, internal comfort over external acceptance, having no surgery regrets, letting go of masks, the context of pronoun use, doing what you have to do to be happy, and arriving at simply being human. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/katy-2  This is our second conversation; you can find our first one (episode 16) at https://fiftyshadesofgender.com/katy/ 

  3. 115

    115. LEANNE YAU: agender, non-binary, queer, autigender, demigirl

    Leanne is a polyamory educator, writer, speaker, certified sex and relationships educator, and trainee psychosexual therapist. Leanne's pronouns are they/she, and they are agender, non-binary, queer, autigender, and a demigirl. Find out what that means to Leanne in this episode.  We also talk about gender roles and expectations in Intimacy and sex, how pronouns may be context-dependent, the freedom that can be found in queer relationships, how sexuality and gender influence each other, claiming our own space with respect for others, and an email we exchanged 4 years ago.  More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/leanne 

  4. 114

    114. NENO: genderfluid lesbian [word witch]

    Neno is a writer, poet, book coach, and podcaster. Neno's pronouns are they/she and they are a genderfluid lesbian word witch. Find out what that means to Neno in this episode. We also talk about compulsory heterosexuality, performative femininity, how gender dysphoria can be fleeting, finding queer community as an introvert, active rest, imposter syndrome of queerness, representation in books and stories, and embracing your magick. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/neno   

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    113. A PARIERA: non-binary trans man

    A Pariera is a philosopher, guide, and mentor, rethinking self, identity, and reality. A's pronouns are he/they, and he identifies as a non-binary trans man. Find out what that means to A in this episode.  We talk about his journey from transitioning to detransitioning to retransitioning, going inward on a soul quest, embracing the journey, deconditioning, returning to home in the body, feeling safe, redefining masculinity and femininity and a spiritual and energetic perspective on these, and taking the long road. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/a 

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    112. RAVEN: genderqueer, relationship anarchist (bisexual)

    Raven is a creative coach, artist, parent, and LGBTQIA+ community activist. Raven's pronouns are they/them, and they are genderqueer, a relationship anarchist, and bisexual. Find out what that means to Raven in this episode. We also talk about queering everything, breaking the rules, the assumptions people make about gender in relation to bodies, how labels describe us but don't define us, the importance of local community and looking after each other, and letting the unknown be exciting and full of opportunity. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/raven 

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    111. KELSEY BYERS: agender, asexual, disabled, neurodivergent, queer

    Kelsey J.R.P. Byers is an evolutionary geneticist and chemical ecologist, lover of all things nature, and advocate for accessibility and inclusion of minoritized groups in academia. Kelsey uses any/all pronouns, but they get a little frisson of gender-validation/euphoria when people don't use she/her. They are agender, asexual, disabled, neurodivergent, and queer. Find out what that means to Kelsey in this episode. We also talk about the link between gender and neurodivergence, shared experiences, assumptions and stereotyping about disability and sexuality, split attraction, the nuance of asexuality, desire, and physical responses, the superpower and shadow sides of neurodivergence, how to have consensual conversations about personal subjects, and the importance of just listening. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/kelsey   

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    110. DEANNA MARIE JONES: transgender woman

    Deanna Marie Jones is a speaker, consultant, and LGBTQ+ advocate, with a history in corporate technology.  Deanna's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman. Find out what that means to Deanna in this episode.  We also talk about the positive evolution of the job industry, what good leadership looks like, the importance of finding community, and what allies can do to help.  More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/deanna 

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    109. FINN EVANS: trans-masculine, trans man, queer

    Finn Evans is an artist, writer, film director, and owner of the production company Chudatsi.  Finn's pronouns are he/him, and he is trans-masculine and queer. He also uses the label trans man. Find out what that means to Finn in this episode.We also talk about challenges with gendered language, finding your people, what labels feel like home, intersectionality and discrimination, the importance of accurate media representation and celebrating genuine efforts at it, tackling misinformation, and letting people evolve. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/finn 

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    108. 'IRREGULAR JENN' WILSON: gender non-conforming, genderqueer, non-binary, neuroqueer

    'Irregular Jenn' Wilson is a writer, coach, and educator, founder of the company Irregular and of the International Day of Consent, which takes place annually on November 30th, and organiser of the upcoming I Do Consent summit, which runs from November 30th until December 2nd. Jenn's pronouns are they/them (she/her is ok) and the labels they use are gender non-conforming, genderqueer, non-binary, and neuroqueer. They also refer to themself as female and woman-shaped, as well as neurodivergent, polyamorous, a relationship anarchist, bisexual, and pansexual. Find out what that means to Jenn in this episode. We also talk about creating inclusive spaces, neuroqueering everything, unmasking, consent as a practice, misunderstandings around polyamory and relationship anarchy, liberating ourselves, and being a little bit braver. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/jenn-wilson  Find out more about the I Do Consent summit here:: https://bemore.irregular.org.uk/idocsummit24s 

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    107. HELENA KEY: transgender woman, pansexual, bipolar

    Helena Key is a queer author and founder of an independent publishing company. Helena's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman, pansexual, and bipolar. Find out what that means to Helena in this episode. We also talk about transitioning while parenting a young child, building trust in relationships, the overlap between bipolar disorder and ADHD, challenges in calling out problematic behaviour and opinions in groups, alternative publishing company structures, writing authentic characters, and how to get a more realistic representation of LGBTQIA+ and other marginalised people in books, films, and TV. More on  www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/helena 

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    106. ANSHAR SERAPHIM: non-binary dominant [autistic]

    Anshar Seraphim is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and neurodiversity advocate. Anshar likes they/them pronouns, but because they present as male, they don't really mind he/him. They identify as non-binary, because of their lack of exposure to gender constructs as an autistic person. Find out what that means to Anshar in this episode. We also talk about expectations of maleness, sensory difficulties, navigating relationships, social exclusion and isolation, making connections, masking, opening up conversations, effective listening, and learning how to treat each other well. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/anshar 

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    105. SOFIE HAGEN: non-binary, queer

    Sofie Hagen is a multi-award-winning London-based Danish comedian, author, podcaster, and content creator. Her new book, Will I Ever Have Sex Again? Is out today, May 23rd, 2024. Sofie's pronouns are she/her and they/them, and they are non-binary and queer. Find out what that means to Sofie in this episode. We also talk about being raised as a person, how boundaries can be a gift, that safe sex is as much about being present as it is about using protection, that all bodies are new bodies when it comes to having sex, how fatness often complicates everything to do with gender, building self-trust, and becoming a safe person for yourself.  More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/sofie 

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    104. JASON LEE: intersex, transgender (trans man), heterosexual, neurodiverse

    Jason Lee is an LGBTQI+ Youth Worker, previous presenter on The T-Boys Show on Pride Radio, and the first legally married transgender person in the UK. Jason's pronouns are he/him, and he is intersex and transgender (a trans man), as well as heterosexual and neurodiverse. Find out what that means to Jason in this episode. We also talk about disconnecting from the body and reclaiming yourself, the role of genetics in hormone therapy, and Gender Recognition Act reform. CW: suicide, bulllying, electric shock therapy, sexual assault, abuse, and trauma. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/jason

  15. 103

    103. RAY BRIGGS: genderqueer, boi, practicing bisexual, T4T

    Ray Briggs is professor of philosophy at Stanford University, co-host of the radio show Philosophy Talk, and co-author of the book What Even Is Gender? Ray's pronouns are they/them (he/him is also ok) and they are genderqueer, boi, and also a practicing bisexual, and T4T. Find out what that means to Ray in this episode. We also talk about ways to be queer, the expansiveness of the term bisexual, philosophy and decision making, ignoring possibilities, the essence of womanhood (or lack thereof), testosterone's physical and emotional effects, how to define aggression, consent policies, and being impossible. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/ray-briggs 

  16. 102

    102. CARRIE MARSHALL: trans woman, lesbian, demisexual

    Carrie Marshall is a writer, musician, and author of her memoir, Carrie Kills A Man. Carrie's pronouns are she/her, and she is a trans woman. She's also a lesbian, and demisexual. Find out what that means to Carrie in this episode. We also talk about transness only making sense in the rearview mirror, how much more challenging things can become once you start transition, what the anti-trans movement has in common with the witch trials, being ambushed in the media, why everything is gendered, hope for the future, and walking unafraid. CW: mention of suicide. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/carrie 

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    101. MATTIA MAURÉE: nonbinary trans, agender, genderqueer, transmasc, autigender, audhd, relationship anarchy, poly, queer [neuroqueer]

    Mattia Maurée is a composer, writer, AuDHD coach, and founder and host of the podcasts The Longer Road and AuDHD Flourishing. Mattia's pronouns are they/them, and they are nonbinary trans, agender, genderqueer, transmasc, autigender, AuDHD, and queer (as well as neuroqueer). They also use the labels relationship anarchy and poly. Find out what that means to Mattia in this episode.We also talk about being taken seriously when you're outside the gender binary, what counts as an apology and what doesn't, assumptions about presentation, the importance of diverse transition stories, performing gender, how advice for different neurotypes can be conflicting, and navigating intersectional marginalised identities. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/mattia 

  18. 100

    100. Reflections (part 4): discoveries so far

    In this fourth Reflections episode, Katy interviews Esther as she reflects on further conversations she's had with gender-diverse folks, what she's learned about gender, as well as her own journey and how she and the podcast have evolved over three years since the podcast started. We also talk about the decision to take a break, trusting your intuition, intersectionality, internalised misogyny, using inclusive language, questioning everything, opening conversations rather than shutting them down, what allyship can look like, and reclaiming authenticity. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/reflections-4 Registration for our allyship course is now open! Find out more on https://fiftyshadesofgender.com/allyship-course/ and join Esther on this journey of exploration, reflection, and awareness.   

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    99. TASH CORBIN: neurodivergent, non-binary, genderfluid woman, queer

    Tash Corbin is an online business owner who helps women and non-binary folk to start and scale their businesses. Tash's pronouns are she/they, and they are neurodivergent, non-binary, a genderfluid woman, and queer. Find out what that means to Tash in this episode. We also talk about what is non-conforming enough, the experience of being sexualised, how showing up with our imperfections builds connection, marginalisation and intersectionality, how we all have internalised misogyny, racism, homophobia and transphobia, seeing each other's humanity, and feeling safe to be yourself. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/tash 

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    98. ELY PERCY: queer, agender, neurodivergent (brain injury)

    Ely Percy is a writer, author of the novel Duck Feet (and more), and brain injury survivor. Ely's pronouns are they/them, and they are a queer, agender, neurodivergent person. Find out what that means to Ely in this episode. We also talk about being neurodivergent from a brain injury perspective, being 'not straight' during Section 28, acting normal, coming out again, not recognising yourself in the gender binary, and how gender diversity is expanding in film and TV. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/ely 

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    97. KATE BROOKES: parent of a transgender child

    Kate Brookes is an author, TV reporter, anchor-turned-producer, and filmmaker. Kate is a cisgender woman and uses she/her pronouns. She's also the parent of a transgender child. Find out what that means to Kate in this episode. We also talk about the challenges of deciding on a name, being in transition as a family, the privilege of having access to an accepting community, how important it is to be an ally and educate ourselves, that acceptance is protection, and telling stories in a responsible way. CW: Please be aware that there is mention of suicide in this episode. Also, in this conversation, Kate uses her daughter's old pronouns and name (which is a pseudonym) to communicate how she identified at a given time. This is in line with how their story is told in Kate's new book, Transister: raising twins in a gender-bending world, which was just released, on August 8th. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/kate 

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    96. CHRIS TALBOT-HEINDL: transgender, non-binary, asexual, panromantic

    Chris Talbot-Heindl is an artist and educomics creator. Chris's pronouns are they/them, and they are transgender, non-binary, asexual and panromantic. Find out what that means to Chris in this episode. We also talk about how labels can mean something different each day, that the gender binary is a colonial construct, gender fuckery and gender abundance, cultural influences on gender, what allyship is and what it's not, how to take accountability, feeling safe in ourselves, dismantling internalised belief systems, and making space for abundance. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/chris-th 

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    95. JORIS GREY: trans, trans man, queer

    Joris Grey is a business coach for activists. Joris's pronouns are he/him, and he is a trans man, and queer. Find out what that means to Joris in this episode. We also talk about being comfortable in your body, getting the method of application right when going on hormones, the importance of representation, the need to focus more on the thriving of trans people rather than the struggle, the difference between sustainable and regenerative, and allowing ourselves to create a big vision for ourselves and the world. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/joris 

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    94. RACHEL DOVER: transgender female

    Rachel's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender female. Find out what that means to Rachel in this episode. We also talk about being transgender vs having gender dysphoria, how coming out is a process, transitioning during covid, the actual and hidden cost of transition, how hard it is to get a GRC (Gender Recognition Certificate), how the term 'TERF' has evolved, and feeling like yourself. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/rachel-dover 

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    93. FABIAN WEBB BROWN: trans(gender) man

    Fabian is a clinic nurse specialist in the NHS, and appreciator of TV, films, books, music, theatre and art. Fabian's pronouns are he/him, and he is a transgender man. Find out what that means to Fabian in this episode. We also talk about transitioning in your teenage years, what it's like to be pregnant as a trans man, accessing reproductive care while navigating an outdated system that doesn't distinguish between sex and gender, and becoming comfortable in your gender identity. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/fabian 

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    92. FINLEY ARESET BRAND: transgender, non-binary, agender, demigirl [autigender]

    Finley's pronouns are they/them, and they are transgender, non-binary, agender, and a demigirl. Autigender is another label they are considering adding. They are also autistic, polyamorous, and kinky. Find out what that means to Finley in this episode. We also talk about the connection between facets of identity including gender, neurodivergence, polyamory and kink, feeling safe to be authentic, reclaiming childhood and nurturing the inner child, misconceptions about kink and sex work, body appreciation and recovering from an eating disorder, and trying to function in a society that's constructed for people who are not disabled. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/finley 

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    91. HARRIS EDDIE HILL #2: agender, non-binary, trans (with a dash of 'boy')

    Harris Eddie Hill is a podcaster, best-selling author and coach. Harris's pronouns are they/them or ey/em, and they are agender, non-binary, and trans (with a dash of 'boy'). Find out what that means to Harris in this episode. We also talk about being on testosterone, embodying queerness in intimate relationships, finding safety in yourself, navigating family dynamics and having consensual conversations, the importance of having access to a supportive community, what it was like living through Section 28 times, allyship and inclusivity, and exploring kink. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/harris-2  You can now register your interest for our upcoming allyship course – go to www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/allyship-course, or navigate to the course page via the website menu, to be notified when it goes live.

  28. 90

    90. Ninety Shades of Gender: taking a break

    Esther is taking a break from creating new episodes for now, and talks about she came to that decision. Thank you to all our patrons, to those who bought us a coffee, donated, listened, shared and helped. Until next time! More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/90shades 

  29. 89

    89. CLEO MADELEINE: queer, trans, woman

    Cleo Madeleine is a researcher, activist, and poet. Cleo's pronouns are she/her, and she is queer, trans, and a woman. Find out what that means to Cleo in this episode. Join us as we briefly go down a rabbit hole of queer history and time, talking about the entanglement of sexuality and gender, linguistic limitations, the intersection of history, language, and identity, what is left out of history, the construct of normativity, levels of activism, and the many ways things can get lost in translation. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/cleo 

  30. 88

    88. LUX: queer, genderfluid, polygender, non-conforming man

    Lux is a psychotherapeutic counsellor and French expat, who has been in the UK for over ten years. Lux's pronouns are he/they, and he is a queer, genderfluid, polygender, non-conforming man. Find out what that means to Lux in this episode. We also talk about seeing labels as a field, the need for softness as well as radicality in activism, how gender identity is separate from gender expression, the pathologising of queer identities, not being able to simplify your complexity into a static gender, how gender plurality and sexual fluidity intertwine, and not leaving any part of us out. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/lux 

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    87. BRIANNE LEESON: autigender, bisexual, polyamorous, demi-romantic

    Brianne Leeson is a writer, artist, and voice actor, and the creator of the supernatural comedy audio drama, Today's Lucky Winner. Brianne's pronouns are she/her, and she is autigender, as well as bisexual, polyamorous, and demi-romantic. Find out what that means to Brianne in this episode. We also talk about doing womanhood differently and the infinite flavours of gender and gender expression, accidental polyamory and unpacking social and religious conditioning, what we can learn about communication from autistic people, sensory issues and how they shape expression, finding freedom in embracing your neurodivergence, and questioning everything. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/brianne 

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    86. IZZY KERSHAW: transgender woman, bisexual, ADHD

    Izzy Kershaw is a singer/songwriter and music producer. Izzy's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman. She's also bisexual and has ADHD. Find out what that means to Izzy in this episode. We also talk about how big a part of identity gender is and how that can change, the importance of making the distinction between sex and gender in healthcare, being trans in the music industry, an enlightening acid trip, how music can take people on a journey, the innateness of gender from the perspective of brain science, and the desire to belong. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/izzy 

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    85. VICTOR MARTINEZ #2: transgender, non-binary, pansexual, neurodiverse, ADHD

    Victor's pronouns are they/them, and they are transgender and non-binary, as well as pansexual, neurodiverse, and ADHD. Find out what that means to Victor in this episode. We also talk about being out as a trans person at work, having a different understanding of the same labels, normalising gender diversity in society, body dysmorphia and gender expression, transphobia in the media, unlocking aspects of identity, and the evolution of awareness. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/victor-2 

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    84. KAI: trans-masculine, transgender, queer (non-binary)

    For personal reasons, Kai (now Joris) asked us to take his episode down. We have recorded a new conversation, which you can find here. Or if you'd like to listen to other episodes with similar labels, you can find them here: Trans-masculine  |  Transgender  |  Queer  |  Non-binary More episodes on fiftyshadesofgender.com/podcast

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    83. LOLA PHOENIX: agender, non-binary, queer

    Lola Phoenix is a writer, podcaster, and author of the recently published book The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy. Lola's pronouns are they/them, and they are agender, non-binary, and queer. Find out what that means to Lola in this episode. We also talk about being accidentally gender non-conforming, not relating to normative experiences, prioritising action over language, the power in choosing our response, what we do versus who we are, the similarities between an unconventional gender journey and exploring alternative relationship styles, solidarity and the need to unite, the importance of understanding and regulating our nervous system, and being safe within ourselves. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/lola 

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    82. ANGELA LOCASHIO: autistic, queer, genderqueer woman

    Angela Locashio (aka Mama Pistachio) is a trauma-informed educator and coach, and sexologist. Angela's pronouns are she/her, and she says she's always open to they/them. She is an autistic, queer, genderqueer woman. Find out what that means to Angela in this episode. We also talk about following social scripts and role playing, how authenticity and performance are not mutually exclusive, vulnerability, understanding all parts of ourselves, how we are wired to choose acceptance over authenticity, being yourself in the workplace, the intersection between gender and neurodivergence, and how we are all normal. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/angela 

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    81. FLEASSY MALAY: queer, gender-diverse, neurodiverse, genderfluid woman

    Fleassy Malay is a poet, spoken word artist, performer, and writer. Fleassy uses they/them and she/her pronouns, and they are a queer, gender-diverse, neurodiverse genderfluid woman. Find out what that means to Fleassy in this episode. We also talk about embracing the validity of the phases we go through, belonging in both women's spaces and queer spaces, inclusive language and adding more nuance to conversations, internalised shame and being willing to confront our own conditioning, having observations rather than answers, how sacred rage can change the world, and playing in all the spaces. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/fleassy 

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    80. ANNE HODDER-SHIPP: queer femme, neurodivergent, ADHD (agender, non-binary, demigirl)

    Anne Hodder-Shipp is a sex and relationship educator dedicated to providing accurate, empowered, compassionate, and expansive sex education. Anne's pronouns are she/they, and she is a queer femme. They're also neurodivergent with a recent ADHD diagnosis. She doesn't have language that totally feels right, but says that sometimes agender, non-binary, and demigirl work. Find out what that means to Anne in this episode. We also talk about not having a sense of belonging, feeling safe in your skin, self-soothing and meeting yourself where you're at, upholding meaning over language at all cost, how the gender binary is weaponised, that a new awareness of reality is often accompanied by a mourning process, looking at love languages through a different lens, and reframing the concepts of love, touch, and relationships. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/anne 

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    79. CHRISTINE TOKLEY: trans woman, non-conforming, disabled, neurodivergent

    Christine's pronouns are she/her, and she's ok with they/them pronouns. She identifies as a trans woman and is also non-conforming, disabled and neurodivergent. Find out what that means to Christine in this episode. We also talk about how the spectrum of physical biological sex and that of the social construct of gender overlap, the idea of sex dysphoria rather than gender dysphoria, medical transition vs social transition and being comfortable on the inside first, supporting people in a way that works for them, the difference in how we all perceive reality including gender, the need for nuance as well as simplification, how being aware of intention can benefit communication, and building bridges between our understanding and others'. CW: paraphilia, autogynephilia. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/christine  Meeting Christine was the inspiration for the book chapter Esther contributed to the multi-author book Sacred Redesign – How to free yourself from society's standards and create heaven on earth. It's available on Amazon now: find links to purchase on https://estherlemmens.com/ 

  40. 78

    78. CLAIRE PROSHO: transgender woman, bisexual, ADHD

    Claire's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman. Find out what that means to Claire in this episode. We also talk about the lack of female role models in the 70s, trying to reconcile the expected side and the authentic side of us, the entanglement of gender, mental health and neurodivergence, feeling like yourself for the first time, reframing gendered activities, identifying as vs identifying with, gender alignment rather than transition, and having more stories to tell. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/claire 

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    77. JENN: genderfree, autistic, fat

    Jenn sets up websites and tech systems for micro businesses. Jenn doesn't have much of an attachment to pronouns and says they or she are fine. They are genderfree, and she also gave us the labels autistic and fat. Find out what that means to Jenn in this episode. We also talk about choosing your own gender badges, the absurdity of assigned gender roles, being conscious of gender-neutral language, how autism in women is underdiagnosed, the limited choices when it comes to clothes, the balance of body neutrality, the various struggles fat people face, and putting the rainbow first rather than it being an afterthought. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/jenn 

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    76. SKIN: queer

    Skin is the singer of the rock band Skunk Anansie, a radio show and podcast host, and author. Skin's pronouns are she/her, and she is a queer person. Find out what that means to Skin in this episode. We also talk about stepping stones to new language, the obsession with beauty in the gay community, breaking gender roles, given names and designing your own sense of self, a cultural sense of identity, expanding on feminism, marriage and motherhood, chosen family and learning how to love each other, staying open and giving people a chance to change their minds, and how we need to join forces and stop fighting each other. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/skin 

  43. 75

    75. Reflections (part 3): discoveries so far

    In this third Reflections episode, Katy interviews Esther as she reflects on further conversations she's had with gender-diverse folks, what she's learned about gender, as well as her own journey and how she and the podcast have evolved over a year and a half since the podcast started. We also talk about imposter syndrome, intuition and following the flow, prioritising self-care, expanding on pronouns, improvising and thinking on the spot, reclaiming labels, coming out of the spiritual closet, how the lines between being on the outside and being on the inside are blurring, and that being an ally benefits us all; not just those we are being allies for. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/reflections-3/ 

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    74. A Clear Perspective on gender: a channeled message from Oron and Medha

    This is an episode with a spiritual twist. I have a conversation with Oron, through Medha. Medha is an intuitive energy healer and channeler – to be exact, a direct voice channel – and she has a podcast called A Clear Perspective, where she shares the guidance that comes through from Oron in answer to people's questions. Oron start by talking about what it takes for Medha to allow this energy to come through, and then about expansion and going beyond right and wrong, external and internal division, how truth lies on a spectrum, reclaiming your sense of self-worth, power versus force, coming into inner harmony, what self-love really is, and returning to wholeness. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/clear-perspective 

  45. 73

    73. PAIGE LOEWEN: partner of a transgender woman

    Paige is married to a transgender woman, Esther (or Elle), who came out to her in October 2020. They've been married for 16 years and have two children. Find out more about Paige's experience in this episode. We also talk about being married to a troubled person, becoming more bold and growing into your skin, learning to communicate our needs, the freedom in speaking our truth, going through your own journeys together, that it's ok to not put a label on yourself, and how we may find ourselves in one closet or another. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/paige 

  46. 72

    72. TALEA BOELSEMS: agender, metagender

    Talea uses any pronouns, and they are agender and metagender. Find out what that means to Talea in this episode. We get philosophical and dig deeper into gender identity, and we talk about the challenges with finding language for something just beyond our grasp, nature vs nurture and what is innate in our identity, and peeling away layers and finding nothing. As we start to wrap up the conversation, some more really juicy things came up, so we keep going for another 10 minutes or so after I thank Talea for sharing her experience. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/talea 

  47. 71

    71. RENÉE YOXON: trans, non-binary, genderqueer, maverique

    Renée Yoxon is a singer, songwriter, and gender-affirming voice teacher. Renée's pronouns are they/them, and they are non-binary trans. They also identify as maverique and back in the day, genderqueer. Find out what that means to Renée in this episode. We also talk about being who you are right now, bridging the trans and cis experience, how 'passing' is morally neutral, internal vs societal perception of gender, simultaneously upholding and tearing down gender binaries, and how the voice is more nurture than nature. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/renee

  48. 70

    70. REV ROWAN BOMBADIL: genderqueer shapeshifter & sex witch

    Rowan Bombadil is a psychosexual coach and interfaith minister, dedicated to bridging the binaries between sex and spirit. Rowan's pronouns are they/them/their, and they are a genderqueer shapeshifter and sex witch. Find out what that means to Rowan in this episode. We also talk about deconstructing boxes and binaries, the link between gender, sex and magic, reclaiming the body and revealing more of ourselves, roleplay vs shapeshifting, multiplicity and spanning the gender spectrum, transformation through intention, and celebrating the sacred in ourselves. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/rowan 

  49. 69

    69. ZELDA: intersex, trans-adjacent, disabled

    Zelda is a performer and magician. Zelda is happy for people to use the pronouns they feel are appropriate. She is intersex and disabled, and refers to herself as trans-adjacent. Find out what that means to Zelda in this episode. We also talk about using fun vs boring as decision-making criteria as opposed to male vs female, having a gender identity as fluid as a body identity, knowing the science versus living the science, giving hope by being yourself, being a bridge between dualities, lucky genetic quirks, and being a special case. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/zelda 

  50. 68

    68. ESTHER LOEWEN: transgender woman

    Esther Loewen uses she/her pronouns, and she is a transgender woman. She also identifies as a parent, spouse, pastor, professional includer, and queer. Find out what that means to Esther in this episode. We also talk about how coming out is an ongoing process, questions to ask yourself on the gender journey, finding hope in spirituality after trauma, grieving the loss of vocation, taking a leap of faith, embracing how god made us, integrating and honouring the old self, and entering the next chapter in life with dignity and grace. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/esther 

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ABOUT THIS SHOW

We get curious about all things gender, sex and sexuality, as well as relationships, feminism (the inclusive kind), mental health and kink, and all that makes us humans unique and diverse. From body positivity to body dysmorphia, it's all welcome here. Come with us on a journey of inclusion, acceptance and respect.This podcast is for you if: • You're curious and want to learn more about experiences of gender outside the gender binary;• You are questioning your gender, or• You have a loved one who is, and you want to learn how to best support them.Other topics we cover on this podcast include neurodivergence, disability, parenting and family, transitioning, hormone therapy and other medical affirmative interventions, (extreme) body modification, BDSM, attraction types including asexuality and aromanticism, and much more. There is a content warning for sensitive subjects at the start of the episode if it applies.Esther (she/they/fae) is a creative rebel, intuitive designer, and que

HOSTED BY

Esther Lemmens

Frequently Asked Questions

How many episodes does Fifty Shades of Gender have?

Fifty Shades of Gender currently has 50 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.

What is Fifty Shades of Gender about?

We get curious about all things gender, sex and sexuality, as well as relationships, feminism (the inclusive kind), mental health and kink, and all that makes us humans unique and diverse. From body positivity to body dysmorphia, it's all welcome here. Come with us on a journey of inclusion,...

How often does Fifty Shades of Gender release new episodes?

Fifty Shades of Gender has 50 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.

Where can I listen to Fifty Shades of Gender?

You can listen to Fifty Shades of Gender on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.

Who hosts Fifty Shades of Gender?

Fifty Shades of Gender is created and hosted by Esther Lemmens.
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