How to Humanist

Dr. Monica Johnson is a licensed clinical psychologist, a self-proclaimed Swiss Army knife of a human being, and someone who will absolutely bring up DMX at exactly the right moment in a conversation about allyship. That's ok -- if you've been listening, you'll already know that Shay was ready with her jukebox trigger. "Flesh of my FLESH!", and all that.Anyway...This is one of those episodes where you come in thinking you're talking about race-based stress and ADHD, and somehow end up somewhere far more personal and far more honest than you expected, and by the end you're thinking about the reason you're doing this work to begin with. Take a listen.ABOUT DR. MONICA JOHNSONMonica Johnson is a licensed clinical psychologist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and founder of Kind Mind Psychology, a Black-owned virtual group practice serving clients across New York, New Jersey, North Carolina, Delaware, and 40+ PSYPACT states. Kind Mind specializes in evidence-based treatment for ADHD, anxiety, depression, OCD, trauma, borderline personality disorder, and relationship issues using CBT, DBT, EMDR, IFS, and ERP. The practice is deeply affirming of BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and alternative lifestyle communities. Kind Mind also offers executive functioning and ADHD coaching nationwide.Johnson hosts ADHD & on Understood.org, exploring how ADHD intersects with relationships, identity, parenting, and daily life. She’s also a recurring guest expert on Understood.org’s Expert Answers, ADHD Aha!, and Sorry, I Missed This. Johnson is the author of Push Back: Assert Yourself in Relationships and co-author of Addressing Race-Based Stress in Therapy With Black Clients. Her work has been featured in the New York Times, NPR, British Vogue, SELF, the Associated Press, Ebony, and Them.Official Website: https://kindmindpsych.com/Instagram: https://instagram.com/kindmindpsychLEARN MOREFor more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist

Turns out you can have the chuppah, break the glass, do the hora, and still not have to mention God once. Or you can mention God exactly once, specifically for grandma, and everyone goes home happy. Humanist celebrant Bethel Nathan has been building ceremonies around real people and real love for 17 years, and her secret weapon is a questionnaire, a puzzle metaphor, and the radical idea that tradition should actually mean something to you personally. She will ask you things nobody else thought to ask, keep your answers a secret from your partner until the day of, and send you your vows every year on your anniversary just to remind you what you promised. If you are getting married and you want a ceremony that actually sounds like you, her information is below.ABOUT BETHEL NATHANSuccessful business owner and award-winning Humanist Celebrant, Bethel Nathan of Ceremonies by Bethel knows how to build and run a successful wedding industry business.  Combining her background in both very large companies (at two global investment banks in Tokyo, New York, and London) and small companies (including her family’s now-40-year-old business), Bethel found the right way to build a business that fit her.  Focusing on her ideal couple and having a rave-worthy customer experience, as well as her strong support for marriage equality, Bethel has now married 1400 couples over the past 17 years and has built up more than 500 5-star reviews.  Her couples come from a wide variety of backgrounds, but all are looking for a ceremony that is uniquely theirs, and that is personal, meaningful, fun, and non-traditional.  So, Bethel enjoys getting to know her couples, becoming their voice in a meaningful moment, meant to celebrate what they share, all in a fitting and worthy way. Bethel's Official Site: www.ceremoniesbybethel.com Bethel's Instagram: www.instagram.com/bethelnathanLEARN MOREFor more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist

Salem, Massachusetts. Austin, Texas. Kingston, Pennsylvania. Turns out if you know where to look, Satanists have been quietly securing the best real estate in America for decades. In this episode, Shay sits down with Taylor Leigh of The Antibot, a Satanist-humanist and former evangelical missionary kid who grew up in Indonesia, came back to the States, and somehow ended up with a pentagram necklace from an occult store in Cleveland. As one does.They cover the Satanic Temple, Baphomet, why most Satanists are not actually worshipping the devil, and why Taylor reclaimed a label that people were already throwing at them for having a septum ring. Shay learns a lot. Shay still knows very little. Both things continue to be true.ABOUT TAYLOR LEIGHTaylor Leigh runs the YouTube channel The Antibot. On her channel, she discusses life after leaving the Christian church and also provides commentary on the modern Evangelical movement from the perspective of a nontheistic Satanist.YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theantibot LEARN MOREAmerican Empathy Project: americanempathyproject.orgFor more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist

A man chose Liberty University over the University of Toronto because it had a conversion therapy program. That man is now a postdoctoral fellow editing anthologies about surviving it. You really cannot make this stuff up, and Dr. Lucas Wilson does not have to. In this episode he and Shay talk evangelical fictions, weaponized women, the anti-trans argument and why it falls apart the second someone has to show their receipts, and the very real possibility that Dr. Dino, a creationist whose doctoral dissertation allegedly opened with "Hi, my name's Ken," is responsible for Luke's entire life trajectory.If you're queer, survived religious trauma, or went through something you didn't even have a name for until just now, Dr. Wilson is actively seeking submissions for his next anthology, Queer and Trembling: Stories of LGBTQ Religious Trauma. Contact email is below to learn more.ABOUT DR. LUCAS WILSON Wilson is a Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council Postdoctoral Fellow at University of Toronto Mississauga and was formerly the Justice, Equity, and Transformation Postdoctoral Fellow at University of Calgary. He’s also the editor of Shame-Sex Attraction: Survivors’ Stories of Conversion Therapy.Shame-Sex Attraction Book: https://us.jkp.com/products/shamesex-attractionContact Lucas for submission details: [email protected] MOREAmerican Empathy Project: americanempathyproject.orgFor more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist

Shay & Devin decide to talk about the big D... Death. Together they cover grief that doesn't end, rituals humanists have yet to invent, what it means to chaplain someone on death row, and why America is, to put it diplomatically, absolutely cooked when it comes to dealing with mortality.But here's the thing about death: it will humble you, it will sit in your stomach like a brick, and at some point you're going to need a toffee caramel swirl to get through it. DS Moss said so first, and Shay had the receipts — or rather, the pints. Turns out the question isn't whether you're ready to talk about death. It's whether you've got enough ice cream on hand when you do.ABOUT D.S. MOSSMoss is a Humanist Chaplain and Webby/Signal/James Beard Award-winning storyteller unwavering in his pursuit to relate stories that connect us to our humanity. A natural explorer, he uses playful inquisition to examine the complexity of the human condition and the intrinsic meaning of life. Moss maintains an interdisciplinary practice of storytelling, street philosophy, and practical altruism. In 2015, Moss created The Adventures of Memento Mori podcast.D.S. Moss Website: https://dsmoss.comRESOURCES MENTIONED:Advanced Directive: https://freewill.comLEARN MOREAmerican Empathy Project: https://americanempathyproject.orgFor more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist

Alyssa Grenfell grew up knowing three things: coffee was basically heroin, God had a very specific plan for her life, and that plan included Italy. Denver... same difference.In this episode, Alyssa and Shay get into what it actually costs to leave the Mormon church: the wrong husband God recommended, the sister who didn't spontaneously combust when she accidentally drank coffee, and where exactly sin is hiding in the furniture at West Elm. Alyssa wrote the book on leaving Mormonism. Literally. It's called How to Leave the Mormon Church and it’s the necessary guide to ever tasting that sweet, sinful, macchiato.ABOUT ALYSSA GRENFELLAlyssa Grenfell is a writer, content creator, and speaker exploring the intersections of faith, culture, and personal transformation. Raised in a devout Mormon family, she attended Brigham Young University, served a full-time mission, and married in the temple before ultimately leaving the church in her mid-twenties. Now based in Texas, Alyssa creates commentary, essays, and videos that unpack high-demand religions, social dynamics, and the challenges of rebuilding identity outside of faith.How to Leave the Mormon Church by Alyssa Grenfell: https://bit.ly/exmormonbookYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@alyssadgrenfellTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alyssadgrenfellInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/alyssadgrenfellLEARN MOREAmerican Empathy Project: https://americanempathyproject.orgFor more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist

For years, Shawn Towers ate the mustard. Didn't ask them to take it back, didn't make a fuss, just swallowed it because that's what a good Christian man did. Turns out that burger was a metaphor for every indignity he'd been quietly absorbing in the name of forgiveness, righteousness, and not going to hell. Shawn is a former devout believer, a father, and a man who has done enough work on himself to know exactly where forgiveness ends and self-preservation begins.In this episode, Shawn and Shay get into why forgiveness has always been a Christian project, why Black Americans have been handed a disproportionate bill for it, why your kids are hiding things from you because you made yourself into a superhero instead of a human, and why forgiving yourself for skipping the gym might actually be where all real freedom starts. Also, he's getting the burger remade. Every time. No exceptions.ABOUT SHAWN TOWERSShawn Towers is a speaker, creator, and former preacher turned agnostic, creating space for honest conversations after deconstruction. He shares vulnerable stories about faith, identity, and fatherhood beyond belief.TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@mannanite LEARN MORE:American Empathy Project: https://americanempathyproject.orgFor more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist

A Jesuit priest called Joe Gerstein lazy in 1989 and accidentally launched a global sobriety movement in 38 countries and 16 languages. Joe is a retired Harvard Medical School professor, a man who can't quite pronounce the thing he invented, a mango gardener in Miami, and the person responsible for sobering up the entire Scottish prison system — none of which was the plan.Also there were toes. Diabetic ones. They matter. So does the Australian wife he met in the Bronx, the Irish guy who was unconscious in the foyer, and the Pope's throne room ceiling, which apparently explains everything about addiction if you know where to look. Dr. Joe Gerstein is pushing 90, running two meetings a week, and has absolutely no intention of stopping.ABOUT DR. JOE GERSTEINFounding President of SMART Recovery [Self-Management Addiction Recovery Training], a non-profit, secular mutual aid group program now available in 38 countries and in 16 languages. Retired Harvard Medical School Professor who has facilitated over 4,000 SMART meetings, 800 in prisons.  SMART Recovery: https://smartrecovery.orgLEARN MORE:American Empathy Project: https://americanempathyproject.orgFor more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist

When Charlie Kirk died, Shay had feelings about her feelings. Specifically, the feeling that humanism was standing in the driveway blocking the parade float.That spiral led us straight to Elisa Rosoff — a humanist chaplain who spends her days inside the place we send the people we've decided are bad, asking the one question nobody outside those walls wants to sit with: what actually makes somebody bad? Turns out it's a lot more complicated than the mug shot, and a lot less satisfying than a clean answer. Elisa talks about delivering three death notifications before lunch, feeling safer inside the prison than at the gas station, and why curiosity might be the most radical thing you can bring into a room. Also: the Second Look Act in North Carolina, which you should absolutely look up after this. (link below)ABOUT ELISA ROSOFFElisa Rosoff is the Chaplaincy Training and Education Coordinator for the North Carolina Department of Adult Correction and the first humanist chaplain to work in the North Carolina prison system. Drawing from her master of divinity in psychology and religion, she specializes in reentry chaplaincy — walking alongside incarcerated people and supporting them as they transition back into society.RESOURCES MENTIONED2nd Look Act: https://bit.ly/2ndlooklaw The New Jim Crowe: https://bit.ly/newjimcrowbookLEARN MOREFor legal support: https://americanhumanist.org/legalFor more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist

Hear us out... what if Allah was an aspiring hairdresser who flunked out of beauty school, and rather than dealing with that loss in therapy like a normal god, he spent the next 1,400 years making women cover their hair? We're not saying it's confirmed. We're just saying it explains a lot. Enter Sammy of Haram Doodles, who was told as a child that drawing living beings was sinful — so she threw out all her art supplies and tried to become a better Muslim instead. Oops. So much for that plan.In this episode, Sammy and Shay get into why "Islamophobia" is actually a word you should stop using, why hijab is and isn't a choice depending on who you're asking, and God's deeply suspicious relationship with women's hair. Is it a fetish? Is he balding? We can't say for sure. What we can say is that Sammy's been hard at work creating resources for Ex-Muslims around the world, so we'll list all those resources down below.Oh, and please visit FreeBetty.org. Sammy's friend Betty is sitting in a Moroccan prison right now for wearing a t-shirt. ABOUT SAMMY OF HARAM DOODLESSammy is an ExMuslim atheist, activist and artist behind Haram Doodles, a collection of forbidden (haram) doodles, comics, stories and content created with and for courageous ExMuslims.Official Site: https://haramdoodles.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/haramdoodlesMORE RESOURCES MENTIONEDFree Betty Lachbar: https://FreeBetty.orgShare your ExMuslim Story: https://exmuslim.me/LEARN MOREAmerican Empathy Project: https://americanempathyproject.orgFor more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist

After a stranger suggests that maybe two plus two equals five in another universe, Robert Affinis decides he is officially done debating God’s existence with anyone. Ever.From telling Mormons “no thank you” with full chest to growing up in a deeply religious Black household that still made room for questions, Robert and Shay get into what it actually takes to say “I’m a humanist” out loud. They unpack churches as one-stop shops, religion as infrastructure, why humanists are oddly afraid to wear their own T-shirts, and why the better question is not “Does God exist?” but “Who gets hurt when belief shapes power?”Enjoy this episode and be sure to monitor your volume as these two Jerseyans discover they share a home state in common.ABOUT ROBERT AFFINISRobert Affinis is a writer and speaker who explores the deeply personal journey of religious deconstruction and what it means to build a meaningful life beyond belief. Through candid reflection and thoughtful analysis, he examines the emotional, intellectual, and social dimensions of questioning faith, offering insight for those navigating similar transitions.Website: https://robertaffinis.comKwasi Wiredo: https://bit.ly/kwasipdfLEARN MOREAdvocate With Us: https://americanhumanist.org/advocatewithusAmerican Empathy Project: https://americanempathyproject.orgFor more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist

What if the secret origin story of humanism is just... ancient people getting tired of handing over their goats? In this episode, Greg Epstein — Harvard and MIT's Humanist Chaplain and author of the NY Times bestseller Good Without God — joins us to break down what humanism actually is, where it came from, and why humans have been quietly side-eyeing authority since long before anyone had a podcast to complain about it. Greg brings the kind of clarity that makes you realize some of our biggest existential questions have been getting wrestled with for millennia, by regular people who just wanted to live a good life without being strong-armed into it. It's part philosophy crash course, part history lesson, and entirely the conversation you didn't know you needed.ABOUT GREG EPSTEINGreg M. Epstein serves as Humanist Chaplain at Harvard & MIT, where he advises students, faculty, and staff members on ethical and existential concerns from a humanist perspective. TechCrunch's first “ethicist in residence,” he has been called “a symbol of the transition in how Americans relate to organized religion” (The Conversation). He is author of the New York Times-bestseller Good Without God, and the multi-award-winning Tech Agnostic, and has written for TIME, CNN, and The Boston Globe.Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gregmepsteinGood Without God: https://bit.ly/goodwithoutgodbookTech Agnostic: https://bit.ly/techagnosticbookLEARN MOREAmerican Empathy Project: https://americanempathyproject.org For more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist 4v9uWL4qONT8HsZBc10K

In this debut episode of How to Humanist, Shay Leonia introduces herself as the mildly terrified new podcast host representing a nearly century-old institution, the American Humanist Association, admits she had no clue who Thomas Paine was, and unpacks how growing up with a radically hospitable mother shaped her understanding of empathy long before she had language for it. It’s a funny, tender reflection on impostor syndrome, inherited kindness, and the dangerous possibility that offering someone cake might be more revolutionary than we think. American Empathy Project: https://americanempathyproject.orgFor more on humanism: https://linktr.ee/americanhumanist