Invincible Life - It's time to live the life you deserve

They gave their child a brand-new car when the kid turned 16. Within a year, the car was totalled. So, what did the parents do? You guessed it. They bought the child an even more expensive new car. I understand the desire to give your children a better life than you had, especially if you grew up poor, suffered, or endured trauma. But there is a difference between giving your child a good life and an easy life. Giving someone an easy life doesn’t do them any favors in the long run. Infantilization doesn’t help someone learn, grow, and be ready for the realities of life. * We need to work hard. * We need to learn value. * We need some struggles. * We need to understand consequences. * We need to learn about accountability, respect, and compassion. I’m always surprised when I discover that friends completely cover everything for their children, never tell them no, give them whatever they want, and never expect that they contribute in any way. I have friends whose children have never had jobs, never paid for anything, and never helped out around the house with chores. Even after these children became adults, they still lived in the home rent-free, never paid for groceries, never helped cook meals, drove cars provided by the parents, and went on fancy vacations around the world covered by the parents. I guess we’ll see later, but I suspect these kids are going to have a rough time adjusting to real life once they graduate from college, move out, and have to get the first real jobs of their lives. We raised our children differentlyWhen our kids were younger, living at home, and going to school, I was making pretty good money in my tech career. We could have given them anything and everything they wanted, but we did not. Yes, we provide a home, food, clothing, and covered most of the things they required for their education and life. But they all had part-time jobs during high school. If they wanted to buy stuff and have fun adventures, they covered it with their income (e.g., video games, toys, movies with friends, etc.). My wife and I both grew up without money. We had to work hard during college to pay rent, cover bills, and afford food (never enough food!). That struggle made us value things a lot more. It also forced us to be adults (imagine that), create budgets, be responsible, and learn about delayed gratification. If we wanted something special, we had to put in more hours, save up, and find a way to make it happen. We couldn’t just ask Mommy and Daddy for it. We had watched what happened when friends were given whatever they wanted and never learned about responsibilities and accountability. Hell, we still know some of these people (in our 50s now), and they are still screwing up their lives. They never really grew up, and it shows. So, we didn’t want that to happen to our children. They had chores, jobs, and contributions to make to the household. Sure, there were times they needed some additional financial help. It’s getting harder and harder to get by in this country as a young person (hell, it’s hard for all of us!). But we never just gave them money. Instead, we gave them interest-free loans, and guess what? They have all paid us back every time. All of my children have traveled internationally. * My daughter traveled to France and Iceland. * My oldest son went to Ghana and is now in Australia. * My youngest son traveled to Germany, France, Italy, and Japan. Every single one of them paid for their own trips. They worked hard, made tough decisions, saved up, and covered it themselves. And because of that, they valued those trips and memories way more than if we had forked over the money for their travels. Sorry, I tend to brag about my kids. I just think they are amazing young people, and I’m so happy with how they turned out. My wife deserves the credit for that! She’s an amazing mother. It is temptingAs I mentioned earlier, it is so tempting to give your children everything you didn’t have. I grew up poor, and I watched other kids get stuff I could only dream about. So, when I was finally making good money, it was so tempting to buy everything and cover everything for my children. I didn’t want them to go without, struggle, and feel bad. But giving into that temptation would have kept them from growing into their full potential as resourceful, hardworking, and responsible young adults. You don’t have to look far to see what happens when wealthy families spoil their children. I don’t even think it requires wealth, per se. Some people go into crazy debt to give their kids everything. However, it never seems to turn out well… I go into more detail in this podcast episode. So, scroll up, hit play, and check it out! Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way. ➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me! 📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

We’ve been in “Swedish death cleaning” mode for the last few weeks, and I have to say… I’m addicted to how it makes me feel! I find myself getting rid of more and more stuff. I keep walking into the closets and rooms we have already decluttered and organized just to enjoy the way they look and feel now.Another nice bonus? I’m rediscovering things I had forgotten or thought I had lost. Clothing, games, books, equipment, tools, etc. It’s crazy. We already downsized a lot when we moved here 10 years ago from a larger house. But we still have too much stuff.So, the “death cleaning” mindset helps. Do we want our kids to be forced to deal with this stuff after we’re gone? Nope.Do we really need all these things? Also nope.For us, the more minimal our lives become, the better we feel. The less we have to deal with, the more we buy back our precious time and mental bandwidth to make room for more valuable things in our lives. In the book The High Price of Materialism by Tim Kasser (a psychologist), he explores how materialism and consumerism negatively affect our quality of life, our everyday happiness, and our psychological health. People with the goal of accumulating more and more wealth and material possessions face greater unhappiness, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. It’s an important lesson for Americans in particular. From the day we are born, our capitalist society bombards us with messages about being a good little consumer who needs to buy more stuff to feel complete. * You need to work harder and make more money! * Why? So you can buy more stuff to show how successful you are. * You've gotta keep up with the Joneses, or you’ll end up at the bottom of the neighborhood heap. * You must buy all this crap to look better, look younger, feel better, and boost your status.* Uh oh, is your house getting crowded with your profusion of possessions? No problem, rent a storage unit. Better yet, buy a bigger house! Or a second house!!! We’re told that playing this game will make us feel successful and happy. But the research does not support that. Sadly, it just makes us feel worse about ourselves and our lives. Tragically, we think buying even more will fix it, but we just end up digging a deeper hole. The only way out is to reject all this nonsense and chart your own course. And that begins with stepping away from the shopping cart and decluttering your home to give yourself physical and psychological breathing room. Some advice from an elderMy wife has been trying to talk me into this decluttering process for years. But I was always “busy.” Spending my weekend cleaning felt like the last thing I wanted to do. I was wrong! It feels so good to get rid of old stuff you no longer need. I only wish I had listened to her sooner. I feel like I’m learning many lessons from all of this, so I’ll share a few. Take photos for the memoriesIf you’re like me, some objects trigger memories. That’s one reason I have trouble getting rid of possessions sometimes. It might be a gift from someone I love. I might remind me of playing with my children. Or, it might bring back memories of a wonderful vacation. Now, I keep very few things and take photos of things that bring back happy memories. I don’t need the physical object, but I do enjoy remembering what the view of that object means to me. Shred it when you get itUgh, we have so many boxes of paperwork from our work and lives. Some stuff can be tossed straight into paper recycling. But we have boxes of documents with confidential information that we need to shred before we can dispose of them. Now, I keep a shredder near our incoming mail. We are trying to handle each piece of mail only once. Either it is something we need to deal with (e.g., pay a bill) or a document we can recycle or shred immediately. It’s so much easier to shred one or two documents at a time versus an entire box! Eliminate paper if you canSpeaking of bills and confidential documents, we have been transitioning to paperless billing for years. That helps a lot! Most companies offer paperless billing, which you can specify in your account preferences (online or over the phone). I’ve also started sorting mail as I walk back to our house. By the time I reach our driveway, I have a stack of junk mail and unwanted paper that I can toss into our recycling bin. Clutter can’t win if it doesn’t even make it inside! Wipe old devices immediatelyThis issue is so painful for me since I worked in tech for over 20 years. I have a ton of computers, phones, electronics, and other devices. Don’t even get me started about all the old cables, wires, and connectors! I have a habit of upgrading and keeping the previous device for backup or travel. That means I keep all the old cables and connectors for that device, too. Unfortunately, I’m not great about getting rid of that old backup device when I upgrade again. So, now I have some old computers, hard drives, game consoles, etc. that I can’t boot up to wipe and reset. To add insult to injury, it is really hard to get rid of old electronics here since they are treated like hazardous waste and our local donation centers are overflowing with them (maybe that’s a California thing due to all the tech folks here?). Therefore, I highly recommend being good about wiping devices and donating or selling them while they still work and have value. Learn from my mistakes! Throw pain awaySome of the stuff I’m cleaning up is bringing up bad memories from my past. I guess I tossed stuff into a box when we moved and thought I’d deal with it later. Well, now it’s later. If something makes you feel sad or angry when you see it, toss it! I won’t go into the details, but I have some books, paperwork, gifts, etc. that make me unhappy when I remember a person involved, the situation, or what it represents. I’m being ruthless now about throwing those things into the recycling, donate, and trash boxes. Give stuff to your childrenWe have some things that I think our children will value—if not now, in the future when they become parents with children of their own. We’ve been holding onto baby clothes, toys, books, games, etc. for almost 30 years! It’s time to let them go. We take photos of those items and send them to our children so they can claim them before we donate or sell them. The clutter in our house is doing us no favors. Plus, it sometimes makes me sad to see those things and realize that time went by all too quickly. My babies are all grown adults now. Wear it or forget itI probably donated about 50% of my clothing about a month ago. I pulled everything out of my closet and dressers and put it all on my bed to review and try on. I was ruthless! If I hadn’t worn something in years, it went into the donate box. If the clothing was from my past life (e.g., lots of suits for business travel), I accepted I am no longer that person and no longer need those clothes. Into the donate box. Also, I counted out the number of socks, t-shirts, pants, shorts, etc. and asked myself, “How many of these do I really need since I can easily do laundry?” For example, I don’t need a two-month supply of socks! Two to three weeks’ worth is just fine. A fun side effect of reducing my clothing is being able to see my options more easily now. I organized my closet and dresser by color, season, and style. I discovered clothes I had entirely forgotten about and started wearing them again. Walking into our newly organized closet puts a smile on my face. The benefitsThe obvious benefit is having a tidier home with less of the stuff you don’t need cluttering your daily life. Also, if you’re a parent, you are doing your children a big favor. We have experienced what it is like to clean up a home after someone passes away. It’s so overwhelming and sad. You don’t want your loved ones dealing with that after you are gone. However, another benefit was mood improvement. I had no idea how much stress all of this was creating. Now I find myself walking into our decluttered rooms just for the joy of seeing the results. It seriously makes me happy! And my stress levels have dropped. I’m discovering that daily life is becoming easier and more efficient, too. I’m creating a place for everything and putting everything in its place with better labeling and organization. No more searching every room and digging through closets and boxes to find that one thing I’m so certain must be there! It’s a huge timesaver and frustration reducer. Your environment affects you in obvious and subtle ways. Clutter makes us feel stressed and unhappy, even if we don’t realize that’s what is causing it. You only notice it once you make a big change. Now, the challenge will be to maintain this improved situation. We have already created a rule that something must go if we want something new to come into the house. * If we want to buy a new board game, we must donate an old game. * If someone wants new running shoes, an old pair must leave. * A new book comes in, so an old book goes out. * When we buy a new pan, we take an old one to the thrift store. Supposedly, some people find the concept of “death cleaning” to be morbid. I don’t see it that way. There’s nothing wrong with being aware of your mortality and living your life to its fullest with that knowledge reminding you that the clock is ticking. And improving your daily life in your home is a great way to enjoy your life more now. What strategies do you use to reduce clutter in your life? I would love to hear about in the comments! Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way. ➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

During my hike through the forest this weekend, I recorded some thoughts about empowerment and what it means for each decade of your life. The video is embedded below. Some people may find it odd that I simultaneously coach my clients on how to get ahead in their careers, how to exit the 9-to-5 grind to enjoy self-employment, and how to live a more empowered life. However, I see an overall arc to our lives from our 20s to our final years that includes: * Getting your advanced education. * Leveraging traditional employment. * Exiting to the freedom of a lifestyle business. * Maximizing your enjoyment of your final years on this planet. It all centers on empowermentMy empowerment strategy lets you squeeze the most out of your earning years and the most life out of your later years. * Empowered people have more career opportunities than most others. * Empowered people feel confident and courageous in their jobs. * Empowered people demand what they deserve from their working lives. * Empowered people create a path to greater freedom and fulfillment. * Empowered people get more of what they want out of life. * Empowered people live larger and refuse to settle for less. Summary of what I share in the video* The Unifying Thread of Empowerment * Career coaching and self-employment coaching may seem contradictory, but they share one goal: putting you in the driver’s seat of your working life, whether that’s climbing the ladder or creating your own path.* From Invincible to Empowered * My business branding is evolving. * It’s less about feeling invincible and more about being so skilled, visible, and respected that you become more empowered. * You become an opportunity magnet (I’ve talked a lot about this before). * Power Means You Can Walk Away * When you’re truly empowered, you stop tolerating bad bosses, terrible relationships, toxic environments, and unreasonable demands. * During my long career, I have watched talented people push back and win because employers couldn’t afford to lose them.* The Value of Inside Champions * Throughout my career, former colleagues and advocates pulled me into companies and made the interview processes almost effortless. * That kind of network doesn’t happen by accident. * You have to earn it, expand it, and nurture it.* You Will Have Peak Earning Years * Research shows earning potential peaks and then declines. * Senior roles become scarce, and age discrimination is real (especially in tech). * You need to maximize your earnings while this brief window is open.* Same Hours, Very Different Pay * Would you rather earn $100K or $300K for the same eight hours/day? * Push hard for what you deserve. * Do not tolerate a one-way relationship with your employer. Get as much as you give. * Bank It, Don’t Burn It * Live leaner during your highest-earning years. * Invest aggressively, create a financial safety cushion, and start working on self-employment plans. * You’re buying your future freedom.* Your 20s Are for Foundation Building * Get educated* Find your people, make good friends, discover love, and find your life partner. * Start figuring out your professional path. * Enjoy this time! Don’t rush the exploration phase. * Your 30s and 40s Are Peak Earning Decades * This is your primary earning window. * Push hard, climb fast, and earn maximum value for your efforts. * Build your network (it’s one of your most valuable resources). * Quietly line up your self-employment plan and runway, so you can flip that freedom switch earlier than most do. * Your 50s+ Are for Living Large * Transition into self-employment that leverages your expertise and everything you already know. * Work when you want, where you want, and how you want. * Play a lot! I’m so glad I took the self-employment path and semi-retired early so I can enjoy my freedom and as much time as possible with the people I love. * Take care of your health and enjoy the last half of your life while you still can. * Life is short! Don’t save your bucket list for a decade where you can’t physically cross items off anymore. What are your thoughts on this? Leave a comment if you have a question. Schedule a free call with me if you’d like to discuss your unique situation and brainstorm some ideas for getting more of what you want out of your life. Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve tested this path to freedom so you don’t have to. ➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

We’ve never felt unsafe in Mexico before, but we had a few unsettling days on our recent trip to Puerto Vallarta to celebrate our 35th anniversary. On Sunday, February 22nd, the cartel leader, “El Mencho,” was killed during a military operation in the western state of Jalisco in Mexico. Around 8:30 AM, we were sitting on a balcony enjoying our coffee when we noticed a plume of black smoke rising above the apartment building across from us. There were several people on their balconies in that building, so we asked if they knew where the smoke was coming from. One man said, “Yeah, there’s a bus on fire on the next street.” Hmmm… okay. So, why were more people on other balconies staring and pointing in the other direction behind our building? I told my wife that I was going up to the roof to get a better view of the city and find out what was going on. When I reached the rooftop, two stories above our place, there were a few people already there looking around. I noticed multiple columns of dark smoke rising from the surrounding streets, behind other buildings, and across the entire city in the distance. “Uh oh,” I said to the man standing next to me. “This is intentional. These fires are no accident.” No one on the roof knew what was behind the fires, so I went down to the ground floor to talk with the lady behind the front desk in the lobby. When I asked about the fires, she seemed surprised and said, “No se.” She didn’t know. I returned to our apartment to let my wife know what I had seen, and we began searching global news sites, local sites, and other sources. At this point, I was worried that this might be violence targeting tourists, since it seemed concentrated in our neighborhood, which is a region of the city densely populated with expats and tourists. We could find nothing about it until we came across a few posts on social media (either Reddit or Threads) that said it was the cartel retaliating against the federal government for the death of their leader. Slowly, the information began trickling through the news outlets. More videos and photos were being shared on social media, too. It was indeed cartel violence, and they were setting vehicles on fire to block the streets and highway in Puerto Vallarta (mostly buses, taxis, and a few other vehicles). They also set fire to several businesses, primarily focusing on OXXO convenience stores. We read that this was also happening all over Jalisco. Guadalajara From the videos shared and news reports, it was clear the cartel was not targeting civilians. You could see them calmly escorting people out of their vehicles before setting them on fire. Despite the chaos and destruction, no civilians were injured or killed. Sadly, several national guardsmen lost their lives in the military operation and during the violence afterward. It may seem like a strange response, but I calmed down a lot once I knew it was the cartel retaliating against the federal government. They were not targeting us. Of course, we still felt incredibly worried as we watched fires burning all over the city and new fires springing up nearby. But we knew we should be relatively safe if we stayed inside the building and out of the way of the cartel members. My 15 mins of fame on the Chicago News (starting around 20:40). 😂For the next two days, the city was pretty much in lockdown. One strange thing we noticed during this time, when the cartel was actively roaming the streets: there was no police or military presence at all. None. They didn’t show up until it was all over. And show up they did, with a vengeance. 🤣* Police vehicles drove by with lights flashing about every 60 seconds. * Military vehicles with mounted machine guns and loaded with armed soldiers showed up all over the neighborhoods. * Military helicopters flew overhead and circled our building. So, will we return to Mexico? Will we feel safe traveling the world now, or are we too traumatized? ⬆️ Scroll up, hit play, and listen to what I think about all of this. Hint: Be smart and be prepared, but don’t be afraid. Schedule a complimentary call with me, and let’s chat about you and your life!I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! 📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals.I set up a ☕️ Buy Me a Coffee to let folks help support my newsletter and podcast without an ongoing financial commitment. I’m a solopreneur, and coaching and writing are how I provide for my family. Thanks for your help! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

My goal with this newsletter and podcast has always been to help you become more invincible in your life. But what do I mean by that?Basically, that means having the confidence, courage, and means to work and live your life the way you want. To be free of someone else—or something else—controlling you, owning your time, and deciding how and where you spend your days. I’ve written about the concept of an “Invincible Life” before and how it can apply to your personal life, your career, and your solopreneur business. The book I’ve written, and am now in the process of editing, is all about how to become more invincible in your life. I boiled it down to the principles listed below, and the book's chapters go into much more detail on that process and journey. The 10 Principles of an Invincible Life* Live where you will enjoy your quality of life* Work where you want to spend those hours* Become known for what you believe and do* Transform your work and life to be meaningful* Take control of how you work and live your life* Own your time to control when you work and play* Spend time with people who bring out your best* Find fulfillment by creating, helping, and improving* Free yourself to never again feel trapped* Empower yourself and never again feel vulnerableThe companion guideI created a brief companion guide to provide additional structure for the weekly emails I will share with you this year. It’s in Google Slides format, so you can save a copy of the presentation to your own Google Drive in your preferred folder. This will allow you to edit the placeholder text to enter your answers to the questions in the guide.How to use the guide* Every month this year will have a specific theme.* Each week will have a set of homework questions related to that month’s theme.* I will share a new presentation document with that week’s questions via the newsletter email and in my private community.* Then download the new presentation, copy and paste the new slides into your editable copy of the guide, and use it to answer the questions.I have already included all the slides and questions for January (i.e., Your Goals) in the guide. New slides will come each month this year. So, stay tuned for the emails about those! Themes this year* Your Goals* The Blockers* Your Toolbox* Strategy & Plan* Making Progress* Becoming Invincible* Your Network* Targeting* Broadcasting* Systems* Resources* Evaluation⬆️ Scroll up and hit play to listen to my full explanation of how to use the Invincible Life Guide this year. Schedule a complimentary call with me if you have questions about the guide and how to use it effectively. I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! 📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals.I set up a ☕️ Buy Me a Coffee to let folks help support my newsletter and podcast without an ongoing financial commitment. I’m a solopreneur, and coaching and writing are how I provide for my family. Thanks for your help! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

* “I’ll be happy when I go on vacation.” * “Things will get better next week, month, or year.” * “I can finally enjoy myself when I have more money.” * “I’ll get to live the life I have always wanted when I retire.” These are the endless promises of tomorrow. But you don’t live in “tomorrow.” The past is gone, and tomorrow doesn’t exist yet. You have only today. You have only this moment. You can only experience the now. Stop sacrificing the reality of now for the illusion of tomorrow. You never realize it’s the last time* The last time you’ll engage in a childhood activity. * The last time you’ll play ball with your dad.* The last time you’ll make cookies with your mom. * The last time you’ll play with your kids at the park.* The last time you will read them a bedtime story. * The last time you will pick them up in your arms. * The last time you will see a loved one. Losing my mother-in-lawMy wife lost her mother 26 years ago today. We were visiting for Christmas with our toddler daughter and baby boy. One tragic car accident changed everything forever. She was such an amazing woman. She was thrilled to be a grandmother, and I’m glad she had the chance to experience it. But we did not know that would be the last time we would see her. You never get over the loss of a loved one. The pain becomes deeper, and you learn to live with it as the years go by. But you never fully recover, and of course, you never forget. Luckily, my wife and her mother were really good about staying in touch. They talked almost every day. We visited as much as we could, and they came to see us, too. The internet was still pretty new, and smartphones didn’t exist. So, I remember being much more present when we were all together. How times have changedNow, things are so different. We all carry a tiny computer around all day long. Social media buzzes and flashes, demanding our attention. All the likes, comments, messages, and arguments. All day long. All night, too. No one seems to be fully present anymore. When we go out into the world, everyone is staring at their little screens. * Driving with their tiny screen in one hand. * Walking through the store while staring at their phones. * Even while eating lunch or dinner with other people. I don’t like what it has done to us. Hell, I don’t like what it has done to me! As a solopreneur, I have to fight the urge to be on my phone constantly. * Checking messages.* Engaging with my communities.* Taking photos and videos to share online.* Marketing, posting, and commenting to make the algorithm gods happy.I hate it. I’m Gen X, so I remember a time before it was like this. I recently launched a Gen X community with a friend. We asked everyone to share their favorite memories of the past. One common theme? People miss not always being connected and on. When we left home to do something with friends, the phone stayed there. No one could reach us. So, we were 100% present with our friends, doing whatever activities we wanted. Speaking of being in the moment… We need more of this single-tasking in our lives. Our modern multitasking is out of control. We have a perfect opportunity to test this right now. You are probably enjoying the holidays and have some time off work. Do you have friends and family celebrating with you? Here’s a challenge:* Put your phone away and be fully present with your loved ones. * Take photos if necessary, but save them to post later. * Stay off social media and avoid the news (it’s a buzzkill, for sure). * Talk with people, play physical games together, and enjoy fun conversations over good food and drink. We think we are present when we are talking with someone while scrolling on our phones. But, we absolutely are not. So, challenge yourself to be fully present during your holiday celebrations. ⬆️ Scroll up and hit play if you want to listen to my full discussion on this topic. By the way, you can always schedule a complimentary call with me if you want to chat about anything and get some advice.I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! If you’re interested in joining my free Invincible Life community, please complete this application form, and we’ll get back to you.I know some people would like to help support my newsletter and podcast, but don’t want to commit to a monthly fee. So, I set up a ☕️ Buy Me a Coffee to let folks contribute without an ongoing financial commitment. I’m a solopreneur, and coaching and writing are how I provide for my family. Thanks for your support! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

We all face times when everything seems to go wrong at once. I know I sure have. And when that happens, our wellness can take a hit. We have been discussing emotional wellness this month in my empowerment community (you can apply here to join for free). That includes:* Being able to manage your emotions in stressful situations* Feeling emotionally supported in your daily life by friends and family* Finding activities that create a sense of calm and inner peace* Bouncing back quickly after emotional setbacksBelow, I summarize what I discuss in this podcast episode. Scroll up, hit play, and listen to my full discussion. Reality Check: Life Will Never Be Perfect* The myth of “having it all together”* Why chaos and setbacks are inevitable* The danger of expecting constant bliss* Redefining your baseline expectations* What emotional wellness really means Building Your Foundation for ResilienceSleep* Why sleep deprivation destroys resilience* Treating sleep as essential, not optionalExercise* I got serious about exercise in my 40s, but start sooner if you can!* Physical resilience creates emotional resilience* Consistency matters. Do something every day. Time in Nature* The restorative power of green exercise* My wife and I take off every Wed to hike or ski* Making it a priority, not an afterthoughtRelationships* We are facing a loneliness epidemic * It’s essential to maintain friendships online and offline* Why connection matters for emotional stabilityRoutines* Morning routines help (e.g., I journal while I enjoy my coffee)* Evening shutdown ritualsProcessing Setbacks When They HappenDon’t Suppress, Don’t Spiral* Acknowledge and process emotions* Writing things down to gain clarity* Identifying what you’re really feeling and whySeparate Events from Identity* “I failed” vs. “I am a failure”* Remembering past challenges you’ve overcome* The “Story of You” exercise* Your core identityReframe the Narrative* What if this setback is actually a gift?* My personal examples (e.g., job losses that led to better opportunities)* Reframing fear as excitement* Looking back months or years later with a new perspectiveYour Recovery ToolkitHealthy Self-Soothing Methods* What doesn’t work (e.g., junk food, alcohol, doom scrolling)* What does work (e.g., exercise, nature, art, music)* Using these as “vitamins” (preventive), not just “painkillers” (reactive)* Recognizing early warning signs before you spiralRegaining Control* Why setbacks make us feel powerless* Returning to routines and rituals* Creating small wins* Forward-looking goalsTalking It Through* The value of judgment-free listeners* Friends, loved ones, or coaches* Venting vs. problem-solving conversations* Getting perspective from outside yourselfThe Long Game: Emotional Wellness as Practice* This is a lifelong skill that you will keep developing* Being patient with recovery * Learning to set better boundaries* Monitoring and adjusting continuouslySchedule a complimentary call with me and let’s chat about your wellness plan!I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! 📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals. I have one specifically for the Winter!I know some people would like to help support my newsletter and podcast, but don’t want to commit to a monthly fee. I get it! So, I set up a ☕️ Buy Me a Coffee to let folks contribute without an ongoing financial commitment. I’m a solopreneur, and coaching and writing are how I provide for my family. Thanks for your support! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

What is the meaning of life? What is the purpose of our existence? Why are we here? What are we meant to do?Ask 100 people that first question, and you will probably receive 100 unique answers. Speaking of which, I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. So, please leave a comment and let me know your answer. In this episode, I’ll go into more detail in the podcast's audio to share some of my experiences, what I’ve heard, some things I’ve learned, and go much deeper. So, scroll up, hit play, and listen. My perspectiveThe meaning of life isn’t hidden in a book, locked away in some shrine on a mountaintop, or revealed in a guru’s words. You can only reveal that meaning and your purpose in this world as you live your life authentically and listen to what’s inside you.* The purpose isn’t out there somewhere. * Meaning reveals itself when you live in alignment. * Continuous growth through hard work, struggle, friction, and pain will put you on the right path. * Being deeply connected to other human beings is essential. * We are meant to put more good into this world than bad. A meaningful life tips the balance Some people simply exist. Others pursue selfish desires. A few seem hellbent on destruction. However, a few do want to leave the world better than they found it. There have been moments in my life when I thought I was only existing—living and surviving. There have also been moments in my life when I pursued selfish things like power, impact, fame, and wealth. I’m not proud of that. But, now? Now, I feel like the meaning of life is to positively tip the balance of the universe with as much good as you can contribute. We can’t all be Mother Teresa, but we can choose to do good deeds, help others, protect this world, and generally try to leave it better than we found it. However, don’t expect someone else (or something else) to tell you how to do that. How many times do we have to watch people who have claimed to be doing good and acting righteously actually end up being pretty damn evil people? The answer is not outside of you. In your heart of hearts, you know what is right and wrong. You feel it. I know you do. You can tell when you’re being selfish. You can tell when you are hurting others. You know when you are sacrificing the greater good of humanity and the world for short-term desires. Be aware. Question everything, including your motives and actions. And try as often as possible to do what adds more good to the world and removes some of the pain, misery, hate, and damage. Build your legacy with a fully lived lifeWhen you live in alignment, become a better you, connect deeply with others, and put more good into this world than bad, your very existence is the meaning. It is the purpose.As I mentioned earlier, I would love to hear your answer to this question. Leave a comment and let me know what you think the meaning of life is.I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! 📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals. I have one specifically for Fall!I know some people would like to help support my newsletter and podcast, but don’t want to commit to a monthly fee. I get it! So, I set up a ☕️ Buy Me a Coffee to let folks contribute without an ongoing financial commitment. I’m a solopreneur, and coaching and writing are how I provide for my family. Thanks for your support! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

“I did everything I was supposed to do. But lately? I feel empty inside. Nothing makes me happy.”I’ve anonymized the details, of course, but this comment was from a recent conversation with an acquaintance. They had followed all the right rules and done all the right things (e.g., college degree, good job, working hard, getting married, raising a family), but now felt like something was missing. It felt like a hole they could never quite fill with vacations, buying nice things, or moving up the ladder at work. Now I have a question for you. How is “following all the rules” working out for you? * Are you enjoying your career? * Are you happy with your most important relationships?* Are you where you want to be with your physical, emotional, and mental well-being?If so, great! If not, you’re not alone. Most of us spend decades chasing career goals, promotions, traditional definitions of success, and following all the rules. But one day we wake up and ask: Is this all there is? Much like my friend, many of us aren’t thrilled with where our lives have ended up. That question is the beginning of pursuing an Invincible Life.It begins when you stop waiting to live the life you want. Now is your time to redefine success and happiness, and create the freedom to live life on your own terms!Through this newsletter, we want to help empower you to live boldly, authentically, and intentionally by creating lives filled with freedom, vitality, purpose, and meaningful connection. We share weekly advice and tips to help you build the life you were always meant to live.We rise together—stronger, wiser, and free.People who want more out of lifeWe are gathering a community of kind and ambitious people who refuse to settle. People who have done the hard work, earned their life experience, and now want something more…* Personal growth* Empowerment* Connection* Meaning* Purpose* Health* JoyThe path isn’t always easy. Change never is! But none of us has to walk it alone.Together, we support each other in reclaiming our health, deepening our relationships, redefining success, finding happiness, and creating freedom to live life on our own terms.Each step forward is a building block. Each transformation and lesson, no matter how small, strengthens us all.This isn’t just a community. It’s a movement. A movement to rise stronger, wiser, and freer than ever before. We will escape the trap of how others have told us to work and live. We demand the life we choose to define.I focus on holistic empowerment coaching, not just addressing one or two areas of someone’s life. As a psychologist and coach, I am committed to helping people address deeper underlying issues that prevent them from enjoying the benefits of lasting change, which can enhance their lives and careers.* Building greater self-confidence* Reclaiming their power* Knowing what they really want in life (not what they’ve been told to want)* Recognizing the best environments for them* Achieving their most important goals* Improving personal relationships* Becoming happier, healthier, and more fulfilled* Feeling capable, successful, and empowered for lifeBuilding a more empowered life doesn’t happen overnight. It's a journey with twists and turns that is never-ending, as life is always changing and the world is constantly presenting new challenges. That’s why it is so helpful to take this journey with a coach and other people who will understand you, support you, and encourage you along the way. Throughout the year, we'll be talking about important themes in our private community, such as: * Goals and Plans* Career Fulfillment* Financial Security* Physical Health* Accountability* Lifestyle Freedom* Personal Development* Self Confidence* Relationships (we’re focused on this right now)* Intimacy* Emotional Wellbeing* Overall Life SatisfactionBy the way, I would love to hear from you as we discuss these themes during the year!One of the first things I like people to do is assess their feelings about key dimensions of their life and overall well-being and satisfaction. Answering questions about these factors results in a visualization like the one below, which tells you the areas that need improvement. Every week, I will share a prompt and some questions related to the current month’s theme. I’ll also share tips and thoughts related to that prompt throughout the week. The goal is to foster discussions within the community, allowing us to offer one another guidance, feedback, encouragement, and support.Sometimes, this group setting is precisely what someone desires and needs to overcome issues, benefit from accountability, and achieve their life goals. However, at other times, someone might need more intensive one-on-one coaching or may not feel comfortable sharing personal details in the group. That’s why I also offer confidential coaching via a private channel in the Discord community or through live Zoom meetings each month.Key pillars of my one-on-one coaching* Assessment* Guidance* Advice* Feedback* Support* AccountabilityWhen I work with my one-on-one clients, I guide them through a step-by-step process to identify issues, set goals, create a plan, and work through it together. Throughout the journey, these key pillars help us stay on track to make good progress and achieve the goals that matter most.We communicate through their private Discord channel and schedule live calls. The nice thing about this level of coaching is that the clients get both the benefits of working directly with me and the support from the larger community. ➡️ If you want to learn more, you can explore the community options, and you can always schedule a complimentary call with me, too. I’m Larry Cornett, an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious individuals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Enjoy more of what you love and do less of what you hate! 📕 Check out The Invincible Daily Journals! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

My guest for this episode is Cory Vinny. He is a scientist, writer, and sailor. He and his husband recently left their white-collar careers for a life of adventure. They bought and refitted a small sailboat to live off-grid and circumnavigate the globe on a shoestring budget. They’re currently sailing the U.S. Northeast, gaining sailing skills, and waiting out hurricane season before heading to the Caribbean and Latin America later this year. He writes about these adventures and more in his weekly Radical Paths newsletter on Substack.We talk about* Their backgrounds and why they decided to exit their career paths.* How did they plan for a moment like this (e.g., saving, managing expenses)?* The tipping point that led them to challenge their future. * Taking the time to reflect on your life and what you want. * What has been their most pleasant surprise? * What has been an unpleasant surprise? * Seeking desired freedoms, and some freedoms you must give up to enjoy them. * Living with the rhythm of nature and weather. * Breaking their journey around the world into phases. * Embracing the fear of the unknown versus living with regret. * Why stability, safety, and security are illusions. * How living a larger life may reduce the fear of death. * Courage and confidence. * How can people have more adventure in their lives? * What comes next for them? Scroll up and hit play to listen to our full conversation! Where to find more* Radical Paths (Cory’s Substack)➡️ If you’d like to discuss how my empowerment coaching can help you explore the life you’ve always dreamed of, book a complimentary call with me. I’m Larry Cornett, an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious individuals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Enjoy more of what you love and do less of what you hate!📕 Check out my new The Invincible Daily Journals! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

“I’m not the person I used to be.”My client was feeling dejected after being fired. This last job had seemed so promising, but it went sideways after the first year.“I don’t believe in myself anymore. Maybe they’re right… Maybe I am a failure. Maybe I’m not meant for this kind of job.”Confidence is a complex beast composed of many layers of reality, self-perception, and the perception of others. If we’re raised in a loving home, we begin our young lives with the confidence of someone who has never encountered harsh criticism, punishment for failure, or the torment of bullies.However, life and work have a way of chipping away at our confidence until we give up our power and stop living the life we deserve. We are hungry for a fix, but don’t know where to begin. What if the real breakthrough you’ve been seeking is already inside you? After coaching clients for the past nine years, I’ve learned that lasting change only occurs when we address inner issues. However, many people want quick results:* They want to find a new job ASAP* They want to prepare for a job interview coming up in a week* They need help to deal with an issue at work (e.g., a toxic boss or environment)* They are struggling to land a promotion* They need to work through leadership challengesThe urgency means we don’t have time to uncover the deeper issues and work on the root causes and more lasting solutions. So, while we may solve the immediate surface-level problem (e.g., they find a job, interview well, and get hired), history tends to repeat itself later. In other words, they find themselves back in the same situation again—struggling, frustrated, and unhappy—in a year or so. As a psychologist and coach, I really want to help people address the underlying issues so they can enjoy the benefits of a lasting change that will improve their lives and careers.* Building greater self-confidence* Reclaiming their power* Knowing what they really want in life (not what they’ve been told to want)* Recognizing the best environments for them* Achieving their most important goals* Improving personal relationships* Becoming happier, healthier, and more fulfilled * Feeling capable, successful, and empowered for lifeTherefore, I am transforming my relatively new life coaching business into a personal empowerment coaching practice. Everything improves in your life when you truly become more empowered and take control of your work and life. By the way, if this type of coaching resonates with you, you can book a completely free call with me to talk more about it. No strings attached! Let me share a way to think about the differences between Empowerment Coaching and other types of coaching and consulting. * Consulting: I do the fishing so I can give the client a fish* Coaching: I teach the client how to fish for themselves* Empowerment Coaching: I help the client become empowered so they feel confident feeding themselves in any situation (e.g., they might fish, hunt, plant a garden, eat at a cafe, or go shopping to cook a meal later)Okay, that’s a silly example, huh? Let me share a very real example from my career coaching practice. * Consulting: I write an amazing resume for the client* Coaching: I teach the client how to write their own amazing resume* Empowerment Coaching: I help the client become empowered so they can confidently find and land great jobs for the rest of their career in a way that won’t even require a silly resume (e.g., my Invincible Career job search strategy)What we are all experiencing in the world makes this more critical than ever. Many people have been working too hard, not setting boundaries, not taking care of themselves, and are burning out. Economic worries, political uncertainties, and the rise of artificial intelligence (AI) are affecting the job market. We’ve seen a significant number of layoffs and job losses over the past year. Companies are nervous, so they are cutting back on spending and hiring. It is taking longer than ever before to find a new job. Finally, I’ve also seen more personal awakenings triggered by the pandemic. It was quite traumatic for many people. Some of us lost loved ones, and all of us became acutely aware of our mortality. Many people want more out of life. They are frustrated and tired of settling for less. What I discuss in this episode: * What empowerment coaching is * How it has changed my clients’ lives* How it differs from life coaching and career coaching* What the coaching process is like* What it can unlock in your lifeEmpowerment coaching isn’t about quick fixes; it's about lasting change from within. Below is an illustration of the framework and system I’ve created to guide clients through the coaching process. I talk more about it in the podcast audio, so scroll up and hit play to listen. If you’d like to talk with me about how empowerment coaching could help you, book a free call with me. I’m Larry Cornett, an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious individuals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Enjoy more of what you love and do less of what you hate!📕 Check out my new The Invincible Daily Journals! Invincible Life is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

The dating scene is a nightmare. * 63% of men under 30 describe themselves as single. (source)* 65% of single women reported not actively seeking a romantic relationship or casual dates. * Among women aged 40 and above, 71% expressed no interest in dating or romantic relationships. As a coach, I talk with people with various relationship situations and issues: married, divorced, happily single, and sadly single. Lots of people are burned out with using dating apps. I’m sure you’ve seen some of the nightmare chats that so many women experience. And, apparently, a significant percentage of people—especially women—are giving up on dating altogether. The advice in this episode applies to anyone, really. But, I guess I was thinking more about men, as I have heard the stories of horrible dates from women I know. Check out Ask Aubry on Bluesky if you want to see some of the stories. It’s no wonder so many men are having trouble dating and finding long-term partners, and it seems that they usually have themselves to blame. I coach some men who are struggling with the loneliness epidemic. They are sad, bitter, or angry, wondering why no one seems interested in them. Well, it’s usually because they haven’t invested in becoming more interesting people! I hear about this problem from women, too. Modern dating is a nightmare for them (as I mentioned above). * Men who expect something in return for buying dinner or gifts* Selfish men who just want to hook up* Men who treat women like objects* Men who don’t want to do anything other than game or watch sports* Men who can’t be honest about dating multiple partners at once * Men who refuse to commit (e.g., Peter Pan syndrome)* Men who need therapy, but refuse to get it* Men who struggle with work-life balance Hey, I’m not saying I’m perfect, amazing, or the most interesting man in the world. Only this guy can claim that. But, I did date quite a bit before I met my wife (we’ve been married for over 34 years now), who is way out of my league, by the way. I heard from previous girlfriends and from her why they went out with me and wanted to date me. It came down to a few things: * I genuinely enjoy the company of women and have many friends who are women. * They noticed that I was caring with animals and children. * I’m a good listener and try to help people solve their problems. * I’ve always been interested in improving myself and trying to become a better person. * I’m ambitious and always have new personal and professional goals. * I love to read and learn new things, which gives me a lot to discuss. It’s not some magical formula, but you do need to be intentional if this doesn't come naturally to you. Work on yourself, improve yourself, be a decent human being, and someone will definitely find you interesting! Invest in yourselfHere are some ways to invest in yourself and evolve. I go into more detail in the audio of this podcast episode, so scroll up, hit play, and listen. * Read some books, then read some more * Keep up with current news from unbiased and reliable sources (not FOX news or your buddies at the bar) * Travel the world and broaden your mind * Open your mind to other people’s lives, worries, and needs (i.e., don’t be self-centered)* Realize that good people are good people, even if—especially if—they differ from you* Explore the arts and visit your local museums, galleries, and theaters * Create more than you consume. Try writing, creating art, making music, and giving back in ways that reveal your soul * Spend more time in nature, while respecting nature (don’t get me started on this topic) * Invest in your health and wellness (physical, mental, and emotional)* Stop hating people because they look different, love differently, worship differently, and live differently Or, refuse to invest in yourself and keep behaving in terrible ways, and wonder why no decent person wants to spend time with you, fall in love with you, or spend their life with you. Take a hard look in the mirror, accept personal responsibility, grow up, and evolve into a better version of you. If you’d like to talk more about this, book a free call with me. I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become invincible, and create new opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate!📕 Check out my new The Invincible Daily Journals! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

Who is your most trusted confidante? Do you have a person you can call when you need someone to: * Commiserate with about the state of things* Be a compassionate ear for your problems * Give you feedback on an idea* Complain to about anything* Just listen to you!First, let me say that there is a time and place for professional help. Psychiatrists, therapists, and counselors are invaluable. There are issues they are best trained to handle. There are topics that others shouldn’t even try to address. I encounter this as a coach. I focus on career, business, and leadership topics. I occasionally talk with people about things a life coach handles, too. However, when a client wants to dive into a topic outside my expertise, I recommend they speak with a trained and licensed professional instead. I am not the person to help folks with depression, suicide ideation, severe anxiety, marital problems, etc. But our lives are complex, and our daily issues aren’t always so severe. Sometimes, you just need a kind and compassionate listener to let you vent and get things out. Sometimes, you just want to brainstorm thoughts about some life issue. Here’s where things get tricky. Many of us have friends and family members we turn to for some of these conversations. Some people are lucky enough to have great friends and family members who really care and help when times are tough. But not everyone has that. And sometimes, there are things you don’t feel comfortable discussing, even with your trusted friends and family members. * It might be too personal or embarrassing * You worry they won’t keep things confidential* No one wants others to gossip about their “dirty laundry” behind their back* You worry about overloading people with these conversations too frequently We get it. That's one reason Nicole created a service to provide confidential and compassionate conversations. She talks with people who need someone who cares and listens without judgment—someone who is not in their inner circle of friends and family. There are benefits to talking to a “stranger” who does not feel like a stranger. It’s a surprising truth. Sometimes, confessing things and opening up to a kind stranger is easier! That’s why people share more than they probably should with a bartender, a seatmate on a long flight, or a remote acquaintance in an online chat. In this episode, Nicole and I explore this topic more deeply. We discuss why so many people turn to her for these compassionate conversations and the things that tend to come up. So, scroll up, hit play, and listen. Obviously, names and details are omitted to maintain privacy and confidentiality. But we wanted to give you a sense of what these conversations are like and how valuable they can be for someone craving compassion, empathy, and kindness. You can book a free initial call with Nicole to see how it works for you! I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become invincible, and create new opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate!📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals. I have one specifically for Spring! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

I’m not doing well. Every day, I read about some new horrific event in the news. It stresses me out, and sometimes it ruins my day. I’m having difficulty focusing on work, relaxing, and sleeping. My wife is managing this better than I am. She doesn’t steep in it like I do. She's worried about my emotional health and gave me some suggestions for dealing with it all. So, I’m adjusting things and trying to find a better balance. Below are some ways I’m trying to have a healthier relationship with staying informed and taking action. I go into a lot more detail in the podcast audio, so scroll up, hit play, and listen. 10 Ways to Pace Yourself* Begin with more peaceful mornings (e.g., no news, no phone—just coffee and journaling)* Engage in healthy self-care like reading comfort books, walks, and meditation (not junk food, binge-watching, drugs, or alcohol)* Exercise more often (we should be anyway)* Take walks in nature (I’ve talked about the benefits of “green exercise” before)* Listen to music you love* Take intentional news breaks* Spend more time with friends and family * Create beauty in your life (e.g., gardening, knitting, writing poetry, creating art, making music)* Research and learn from more credible and objective sources* Ground News is a platform that makes it easy to compare news sources, read between the lines of media bias, and break free from algorithms. Read more about their bias ratings system* 1440 News is a daily newsletter that aims to provide unbiased news summaries in a concise format* You’ll find the Associated Press in almost every list of unbiased news outlets * Reuters is another news source that’s unbiased in its news reporting* News coverage on BBC is pretty balanced, making it one of the best options for unbiased stories* Tangle is an award-winning media organization that covers the biggest political stories in the U.S. by summarizing arguments from the right, left, and center (then "their take")* Pay attention to objective data from your life (e.g., real evidence of local prices, what’s happening to your investments, policy changes you experience, friends and family losing their jobs). * Create plans to calm your panicked mindWe are in constant fight-or-flight mode when stressed by the barrage of negative news and events. Our poor body and brain can’t distinguish between this reaction vs. being chased by a bear. It just dumps adrenaline and cortisol into our system all day. Making plans helps calm your mind. Taking steps to take care of yourself is essential, too. You’ll feel better knowing what you will do vs. living with generalized stress and fear. I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become invincible, and create new opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate!📕 Check out my new The Invincible Daily Journals! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

This seems strangely familiar I studied a bit of history in college, and it affected me forever. In particular, one semester, we studied Hitler’s rise to power. I actually did the required reading (believe it or not 🤣), so I see the disturbing parallels between what happened then and what is happening now in the U.S.My goal with this article and episode isn’t to scare you or create a sense of panic. But I’m also not going to stick my head in the sand or expect you to do the same. Of course, we can’t spend our days doomscrolling. We can’t skip work or school. We have to live our lives!However, we shouldn’t ignore what history has taught us, either. The actions being taken in our country are alarming. I’m not a distant spectator. The continuing layoffs and firings within various agencies are impacting people I love dearly. Mind you, these are not well-informed decisions. You may have already read about the firing mistakes they are trying to desperately reverse. This administration’s actions are brutal, politically targeted, personally motivated, and careless. * Trump officials fired nuclear staff not realizing they oversee the country’s weapons stockpile* Trump Administration Accidentally Fired Bird Flu Response Workers, Report Says—Here’s Where Layoffs Are Being Walked Back* 'DOGE in practice': Outrage follows 'boilerplate' MAGA firing of disabled veteran* USAID Worker Sues Trump After 'Pregnant Wife is Denied Medevac'* Musk's DOGE cuts based more on political ideology than real cost savings so far* How Elon Musk boosted false USAID conspiracy theories to shut down global aid* USAID staffers describe colleagues abandoned in violence in Congo as DOGE ends help programs* One Agency Tried to Regulate SpaceX. Now Its Fate Could Be in Elon Musk’s Hands* Elon Musk’s DOGE Sparks Outrage by Leaking Secret DataGood people are pushing back and fighting the good fight. Federal judges are blocking the federal freezes, the birthright citizenship order, and DOGE accessing the Treasury data. Citizens are marching to protest Trump. And many Americans are pledging to stop making any purchases for a full 24 hours on February 28th and go on a nationwide shutdown on March 15th. This is all great, but we know things will get worse. And when things go south, they go south quickly. Remember: Hitler dismantled Germany’s democracy in 53 days. “In one of the most astonishing political transformations in the history of democracy, Hitler set about destroying a constitutional republic through constitutional means. What follows is a step-by-step account of how Hitler systematically disabled and then dismantled his country’s democratic structures and processes in less than two months’ time—specifically, one month, three weeks, two days, eight hours, and 40 minutes. The minutes, as we will see, mattered.” (source)So, if things go from bad to worse, you won’t have much time to prepare if you wait too long to create a backup plan to take care of yourself and your loved ones. I recently read an excellent post on LinkedIn about how to protect yourself and be prepared. It inspired me to create this preparation list for you. Some actions to consider* Freeze your credit report with the three major reporting agencies. Contrary to Musk’s initial lies, it was revealed that Treasury data was left vulnerable when they mistakenly and briefly gave a member of the DOGE team the power to alter a sensitive federal payments database. DOGE is now seeking access to IRS systems. * Place a security freeze with Equifax* Freeze your Experian credit file* Place a credit freeze with TransUnion * Secure your communications. Ask the people in Ukraine how daily life changes when you lose the internet. One of the first moves Russia made was to cut access to the internet and mobile networks, which left Ukrainians living in a world only fed by Russian propaganda. Luckily, Elon Musk saved the day with Starlink, right? Well, Russian operatives claimed to have access to Starlink despite Musk's assurances that only Ukraine was using the service. Also, in September last year, Ukrainian forces downed a Russian drone that had a Starlink terminal integrated with its systems. So, I recommend establishing secure ways to communicate with your family and loved ones now. For example, Signal uses end-to-end encryption to keep your conversations safe. However, if we lose all means of communication, I hope you have prepared a backup plan to reconnect with your family. I wrote an article about that a few weeks ago. * Protect your finances. Given DOGE’s unhealthy interest in accessing the data of the Treasury and IRS systems, we should be careful about protecting our assets. For example, if all your money is tied up in a single U.S. bank and assets are frozen, what will you do? There are a few steps you can take to protect yourself and ensure you have access to some funds to get by until things get sorted. * Diversify by placing money in different banks and even a safe international account. Always do your homework to ensure you are using reputable, trustworthy financial services. * Have some spending cash on hand if electronic systems are locked or shut down. You may need enough to cover gas, groceries, travel expenses, etc. * Have payment systems funded that you could use if necessary (e.g., Apple Pay, Venmo). NerdWallet has a good article on peer-to-peer payment apps. It is probably best to avoid payment apps or services under the control of Musk or Zuckerberg. They’ve proven that they aren’t on our side. * Diversify your income streams. I discuss this topic often with my solopreneur audience. Your income is fragile if you rely on one primary source. For example, as the U.S. economy and job market struggle, I’m glad I have coaching clients worldwide. Thanks to the internet, working remotely for clients and employers in other countries has never been easier. But, if you’re busy with an existing job, I know it’s challenging to find the time to spin up additional income streams, especially internationally. However, do your research and be prepared to move quickly later if necessary (e.g., your employer conducts a mass layoff). * Be prepared to barter. If the dollar collapses, we can always revert to the good ol’ barter system. Consider what physical goods and services you could offer in your local community in exchange for things you might need (e.g., food). For example, I know someone who cuts and splits firewood for an older neighbor in exchange for some of the wood to use in his own woodstove. * Be prepared for an emergency. We all experienced this during the COVID lockdowns. Many have also experienced serious emergencies after earthquakes, tornadoes, wildfires, blizzards, and hurricanes. Living in regions where this is possible teaches you to be prepared. As Americans, we can’t imagine martial law being declared. Still, it has happened before in the U.S. (e.g., after the Pearl Harbor attack and the San Francisco earthquake of 1906) and has definitely happened in other countries. It makes sense to have enough food, water, medical supplies, etc., to care for yourself and your family if we experience another lockdown with limited access to local shopping. Where I live, we’ve dealt with forest fires and earthquakes, so we have food and water stores, plus a backup generator for power and heating our home. * Maintain your health and fitness. We’re in for a long, unpleasant, stressful experience. It’s hard enough to deal with the stress of this every day. It's even harder if you’re ill and breaking down mentally and emotionally. Work out, take walks, do yoga and meditate, talk with friends, get enough sleep, and keep yourself as fit and healthy as possible to fight the good fight. * Strengthen local relationships. When we faced local emergencies, our neighborhood was great at helping each other out (e.g., gas for generators, shoveling snow, cutting trees). Humanity has built small, local communities since the dawn of civilization. We turn to each other when in need, support each other, protect each other, etc. Building stronger local relationships and getting to know your neighbors is never a bad idea. * Secure your vital documents. Some weird stuff has already happened with some people’s birth certificates and passports (e.g., transgender and nonbinary folks). Make sure your online documents are stored safely and encrypted. Keep your paper documents stored in a fire-resistant document safe and ready to go if you need to leave your home (e.g., passports, birth certificates, social security cards, financial statements, family photos). * Be ready to travel. Speaking of passports, check how many years you have left on yours. I would be nervous if my passport would soon expire. Lots of people are updating their passports and travel documents, so the wait could be considerable if you need yours later. Some folks are renewing their passports even if they have a few years left on them. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but no one believes they will ever have to leave their home. However, I have a friend who had to flee Iran with their family during the Islamic Revolution of 1979. Lives changed forever there. Just like being prepared for an emergency, you should have a plan if things go from bad to worse (e.g., before travel restrictions are enforced). Know where you will go. For example, one of my friends has an apartment in Mexico and is ready to travel there in a heartbeat. * What is your line in the sand? I’ve been discussing this with my family and friends. When do things cross the point of no return? What event would trigger your warning bells and signal you no longer feel safe here? I know some people feel pretty privileged and secure. They can’t image anything bad ever happening to them. Well, that must be nice! However, some of my friends are already nervous and very worried about their safety. It wouldn’t take much more to scare them into leaving the country for their personal safety until—or if—America is once again safe for everyone to live without discrimination and fear of attack. So, spend some time to identify what your line is. What event would worry you the most? Most importantly, what is your plan once you identify that point of no return and that event happens? * What will you do? * Where will you go? * How will you ensure the safety of your loved ones? * What is your short-term emergency plan? * What is your long-term plan? One more thingSeriously, I’m not trying to scare you. I don’t want you to panic, either. We have to keep living our normal lives for now. We have to work, go to school, keep moving ahead, and push for what we believe. But being prepared is just smart. There is great beauty in this world and its people despite the profound evil, greed, and corruption that taints the souls of a few. We have to remember that!This is our damn world, too! Some of us strive to be decent and kind people, but that doesn’t mean we won’t resist and fight if pushed to the wall. I want you to live your life and hope for the best. But I also want you to plan and be prepared for the worst. Hey, if none of the worst-case scenarios come true, you will still be ready for other events that can and do happen (e.g., natural disasters). And you are doing things you should be doing anyway (e.g., securing your data and documents, safely communicating with your friends and loved ones, building relationships with neighbors, being prepared for an emergency). Take care of yourself! That includes a little self-care when the news and social media feeds feel overwhelming. Take a break and go for a walk in nature to remember how wonderful this world really is! It always helps me. I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with you to optimize your career, business, and life. My mission is to help you become a more "Invincible You" so you can live your life on your terms instead of being controlled by someone else's rules. My wife and I live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe.📕 Check out my new The Invincible Daily Journals! Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

We are experiencing a stressful time in America. It doesn’t matter who you support or who you voted for; the chaos and anxiety of this moment affect all of us. People are angry, worried, stressed, and fearful, which can spill over into their everyday interactions with friends, loved ones, neighbors, and coworkers. And it’s not just the U.S., dear readers and listeners. I have friends and family all over the world, and they are worried, too. They’re worried about how things will change here, but they are also dealing with their own local uncertainty, political challenges, and dangers. So yeah, we are all going through a lot and need to process our feelings and the physical impact in healthy ways. Yesterday, my Invincible Career community had its first live meeting of the year. * A few of us talked about how we use intense exercise to manage our stress and depression. * Some create music to deal with their anxiety and stress. * Some create art.* And some of us write. I use exercise and outdoor activities to stay sane. But I’m a writer, too (obviously). I write a ton of nonfiction (e.g., newsletters, articles, books), but I also write a lot of fiction (e.g., stories, poetry). I also start every single day with morning journaling. It helps me process my thoughts, regulate my emotions, and feel more hopeful about the future. I’ve discussed the power of writing and journaling, which you can read in the article linked below.From the Harvard Business Review:A certain kind of guided, detailed writing can not only help us process what we’ve been through and assist us as we envision a path forward; it can lower our blood pressure, strengthen our immune systems, and increase our general well-being. Expressive writing can result in a reduction in stress, anxiety, and depression; improve our sleep and performance; and bring us greater focus and clarity. (source)In today’s podcast episode for Invincible Life, I explain in more detail how and why I created my new morning journals, how to use them to get the most out of morning journaling, and why journaling is so good for you and your well-being!I wanted the journals to support the personal ebb and flow of life, the daily ebb and flow of creativity and energy, and the seasonal ebb and flow of what matters to you in those moments of time. The journal covers below reflect this seasonal design.Scroll up, hit play, and listen. I’d love to hear how you’ve used journaling — if you’re willing to share in the comments. I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with you to optimize your career, business, and life. My mission is to help you become a more "Invincible You" so you can live your life on your terms instead of being controlled by someone else's rules. My wife and I live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

Guess how much a provider billed me for a recent medical expense (an angiogram)? Oh, I should first explain that I live in the U.S. You know, the country that thinks it’s okay to put people into debt for healthcare? Okay, if you’re done guessing, I’ll tell you. $27,000.00. Yep, $27K. So, it got me thinking about the importance of an emergency fund. It’s money set aside to cover significant, unexpected expenses. For example: * Medical expenses (like mine)* Home repairs* Replacing a major appliance* Major car repairs* Emergency trips (e.g., if a loved one is ill)The funny thing is, none of this should be “unexpected.” When you’re young, you don’t know better. But, as you grow older, you realize that any and all of these types of major expenses will occur eventually. We’ve encountered many of these expenses before — some recently.* We had a plumbing leak that, luckily, occurred right after we came home from a vacation. But, it was an unexpected expense that we couldn’t put off. * A few days later, my son’s car wouldn’t start. Unfortunately, it was more than just the starter and will turn out to be a $3K expense. * Our oven stopped working a few months ago (more repairs). * Earlier this year, the main water line to our house sprung a big, expensive leak. Man, I hate plumbing! Luckily, this isn’t our first rodeo. We’ve been down this road of emergency expenses many times in our lives. So, we’ve learned to put money aside for an emergency fund vs. dumping expenses onto credit cards with their high interest rates. However, telling people they should create an emergency fund is much easier than making it happen. Where does this “extra money” come from? How can you save to fund the fund? Here are a few ideas: * Automatically put a small percentage of your paycheck into the fund. * If you have a cash-back credit card, put those rewards into your fund and pretend you don’t have that money. * Cut some expenses and redirect what you were spending into the fund. For example, I used to spend $2-3K/year at Starbucks! So, I stopped doing that and used the money for more important things. * Review your monthly subscriptions, put some on hold, and cancel others. For example, 25% of households spend more than $75 monthly on streaming subscriptions. * Americans spend an average of $300/month dining out. Reduce that expense by making more home meals and putting the savings into your emergency fund. * Sell some things around the house you need to get rid of anyway (e.g., old laptops, electronics, clothing) and put the earnings into the fund. Where should you keep your emergency fund? It has to be easy to access, but you don’t want your money just sitting there waiting for an emergency to occur. So, a high-yield savings account is a good place to store the funds so they can keep growing. No one enjoys unexpected expenses. But, unfortunately, they are a part of life. Having an emergency fund takes away a bit of the pain. ➡️ I go into more detail in the audio, so scroll up, hit play, and listen.30 for $20! ☎️Schedule a call and get 30 minutes of coaching for just $20 on any career topic you want to cover. Save $177 off the regular price! Note: This offer is only available for new clients who haven’t worked with me before.I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with you to optimize your career, business, and life. My mission is to help you become a more "Invincible You" so you can live your life on your terms instead of being controlled by someone else's rules. I live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with my wife and our Great Dane. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

Over the 33+ years of our marriage, my wife and I have noticed something: * When I’m down, she’s up. * When she’s down, I’m up. We never intentionally tried to do this or discussed that we should do it. It just naturally happened. We also have people in our lives (or past lives) who weren’t in balance with us like this. So, when one person struggled (e.g., depressed, worried, scared), the other person piled on and the situation spiraled down. So, we’ve been paying attention to this dynamic in our relationship and the relationships of others (e.g., our friends and family). When couples don’t provide this counterbalance for each other, the relationship isn’t very healthy. In fact, we’ve watched relationships fail because the couple was in sync in all the wrong ways. In this episode, we share some examples of how we’ve done this for each over the years and how beneficial it’s been for our relationship. Scroll up, hit play, and listen. 30 for $20! ☎️Schedule a call and get 30 minutes of coaching for just $20 on any career topic you want to cover. Save $177 off the regular price! Note: This offer is only available for new clients who haven’t worked with me before.I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with you to optimize your career, business, and life. My mission is to help you take complete control of your work and life so you can become a more “Invincible You.” I live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with my wife and our Great Dane. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

My old friends canceled on me yet again. We’ve been trying to have lunch or dinner together for years, and it's pretty frustrating. 31% of Americans say they find it challenging to make new friends. I totally get it. I’ve struggled to make new friends, especially after moving away from the Bay Area in California about eight years ago and leaving the corporate world to work as a solopreneur about 14 years ago. My old social circles have slowly slipped away. Many people I know have talked about how hard it is to make friends as you grow older. It was a lot easier while we were in school and during our early career years. But, once people got married and started families, the free time in our lives evaporated. It’s hard to make time for recreation and meeting new people when you’re working long hours and raising a family! Another unfortunate complication in the U.S. has made it even more difficult to make new friends or even maintain old friendships: the political divide that has torn this country apart for the past eight years. People’s views have polarized, and social media has made it worse. I know some folks who are no longer talking to their parents, other close relatives, or old friends. It’s pretty bad. I’ve lost friends because I won’t tolerate people who are racist, sexist, or homophobic. I had no idea that some of these people held these beliefs until it became okay to blast hate-filled rhetoric all over social media. Now, I know.So, how do you make friends in this modern world? Yes, you can make online friends all over the world, and I have. But it’s not the same as having local friends. It’s really nice to have a drink with a friend, enjoy a nice dinner with another couple, or go hiking with some interesting new folks. I explore this topic more in this podcast episode. So, scroll up, hit play, and listen. What has worked well for you? Leave a comment and help us out! I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with you to optimize your career, business, and life. My mission is to help you become a more "Invincible You" so you can live your life on your terms instead of being controlled by someone else's rules. I live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with my wife and our Great Dane. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

My youngest son recently turned 21. So, we’re done parenting, right? 😂I used to think that—before we had children. However, the parent-child relationship simply evolves and changes. It deepens. You are the one person in this world who will always be there for them. Always! In this podcast episode, Nicole and I discuss how our parenting has transformed as our children grow older. I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with you to optimize your career, business, and life. My mission is to help you take complete control of your work and life so you can become a more “Invincible You.” I live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with my wife and our Great Dane. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

I tire of hearing the usual BS about homeschooling. I recently mentioned that we homeschooled our children and received the usual uninformed opinions. I responded to many of those folks to let them know more about our experience with it. But, like many things that irritate me, I decided it was time to write an article and record a podcast with my wife, who did 99.9% of our homeschooling. * Maybe you are a young parent, and you’re struggling with decisions about your children's future education. * Or you’re a parent who has already discovered that the educational system is failing your child—for one reason or another. * Or, you’re a grandparent concerned about your grandchild’s education. So, in this episode, my wife and I clear up a few myths about homeschooling. For example: * People only homeschool for religious reasons. * Kids will miss valuable socialization. * Homeschooling is an all-or-nothing proposition. * Only teachers have the skills to educate children. * You must do all the teaching yourself. * Homeschooled children struggle to get accepted to college later. * Homeschooled children will struggle in the “real world” later. Scroll up, hit play, and listen to our full conversation in this episode. Here are some resources to learn more about homeschooling:* National Home School Association (NHSA)* The Homeschool Association of California (HSC)* Home Study Resources and Curricula (U.S. federal resource)* Homeschooling international status and statistics I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with you to optimize your career, business, and life. My mission is to help you take complete control of your work and life so you can become a more “Invincible You.” I live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with my wife and our Great Dane. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

By the way, I recorded this episode with my new microphone, and I love it! It’s the Audio-Technica AT2035 Cardioid Condenser Microphone (my affiliate link). Check it out if you do podcasting or record audio. * Do you feel nervous speaking in front of strangers? * Does presenting to your work colleagues give you butterflies? * Do you get tongue-tied meeting new people or going on a first date? You’re not alone! Most people fear public speaking. They avoid networking events, talking to strangers, presenting at conferences, and speaking on panels. I used to be the same way. I’d feel sick to my stomach when I had to present at a department meeting. I also avoided speaking at conferences. My palms would sweat, my heart would race, my chest would feel tight, my throat would close up, and my voice would sound weak. However, I knew it was holding me back in my career. Heck, it was holding me back in life! So, I took a two-day course to improve my public speaking. Later, I was promoted to management and leadership. Guess what? I had to do a lot more public speaking!So… * I got media training. * I was interviewed by reporters. * I spoke at conferences and panels.* I spoke at meetings and events every week. Believe it or not, I eventually fell in love with public speaking. I want you to fall in love with it, too! My wife and I are developing courses to help people become better communicators, speakers, and presenters. In this episode, I share more details about the following twelve steps. Hit play and listen since I don’t share all the info in the text. 12 Steps to Becoming a Confident Speaker* Tuning your vocal instrument. * Improving your verbal delivery. * Leveraging body language. * Conquering your fear. * Calming your nerves. * Mastering your message. * Presenting with confidence. * Telling stories that connect. * Embracing your humanity. * Practicing — and even more practice! * Building rapport with the audience. * Learning to love it! As I said, we are creating a series of courses focused on these topics. Would you be interested in developing and enhancing your speaking skills? If you answered yes, subscribe to be notified when the courses are ready. Thanks!I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with you to optimize your career, business, and life. My mission is to help you take complete control of your work and life so you can become a more “Invincible You.” I live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with my wife and our Great Dane. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

Note: My mic picked up some interference and generated static at a few points in my recording. Sorry about that! In this episode, my wife Nicole joins me again as co-host. We wanted to talk about our new empty nest life and how we are managing it. Our youngest child recently graduated from college. So, now we’re bracing for the next phase of his moving farther away to start his new life! We discuss: * The feelings you experience during graduation milestones. * How life is an endless series of small losses, but how you can seek new gains. * What that empty nest syndrome is like for each of us. * Some risks and myths about the empty nest. * What comes after this phase of raising children to adulthood.* How we stay connected to our children. * What parenting looks like when your children become adults. * How we are transitioning to this next phase of our lives. Scroll up and hit play to listen to the full episode… I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with you to optimize your career, business, and life. My mission is to help you take complete control of your work and life so you can become a more “Invincible You.” I live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with my wife and our Great Dane. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

In this episode, I have a special co-host: My wife, Nicole! I thought it would be fun to talk with her about our fitness and health journey over the past 16 years. I have her to thank for getting me on track! We discuss: * How we decided it was time to do something about our health. * The journey we took to get started with exercise. * How we stay motivated. * What we’re doing now that we have an empty nest. * Some myths about weightlifting and exercise for women and older people, but why it’s so important to keep doing it! Scroll up and hit play to listen to the full episode… 🤖 By the way, you might enjoy checking out the new AI Coach I created over the past few weeks. I leveraged over 8 years of my articles, podcast episodes, and videos to feed the knowledge base. You can ask it questions about life, career, business, or whatever you feel like! I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with you to optimize your career, business, and life. My mission is to help you take complete control of your work and life so you can become a more “Invincible You.” I live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with my wife and our Great Dane. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

⛔️ WARNING: I talk about alcohol abuse and depression in this episode.Believe it or not, I hit rock bottom at 20 years old.I’ve never shared this story before, but as someone who coaches people who sometimes worry they are failing in life, I think it’s time. I want folks to know it’s always possible to turn their lives around.Judging by some comments I’ve received on social media and in my DMs, I think some people believe my life has always been easy. That I’m a lucky person. Somehow, it’s all been sunshine and puppies and unicorn ponies frolicking in a meadow filled with beautiful wildflowers.How cool would that be?Unfortunately, it’s not true.However, it is true that now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I focus relentlessly on my relationships, being healthy, working on things I believe in, and spending my days the way I want.And that’s because I hit bottom once and didn’t like where my life was heading. I didn’t like who I had become. I knew I had to find a better path forward. So now, I refuse to backslide.They say it’s always darkest before the dawn. That’s certainly true for my life.I stumbled and fell. It seemed hopeless. But I got on my feet, reinvented myself, and created an amazing life despite those colossal mistakes.No matter how down you feel, you can always come back and become the person you know you are capable of being.I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with you to optimize your career, business, and life. My mission is to help you take complete control of your work and life so you can become a more “Invincible You.” I live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with my wife and our Great Dane. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

Self-confidence is one of the most valuable personal assets you should develop and nurture throughout your life. It’s a fuel that will enable your personal pursuits, accelerate your professional growth, and improve your relationships. So many elements impact self-confidence from childhood to adulthood. I’ve discussed these before in my draft book chapter. Key points from the chapter* Confident people enjoy more success in life.* Feeling confident isn’t the same as flipping on a light switch.* There are many layers of confidence, with your sense of self at the core and the ways you express your confidence to others at the outer layer.* Confidence isn’t a fixed trait, which means you can develop and build it.* Self-esteem is your perception of your worth, which begins in childhood.* Self-efficacy is your belief in your ability to achieve your goals, which is the component of confidence you can influence the most.* You can use some simple strategies and techniques to feel more confident in the moment.* Self-confidence is such a valuable asset that you must nurture it and fiercely protect it.In this episode, I want to focus on competence, capability, and optionality. Scroll up and click play to listen since I don’t include everything in the text below. Being competent When you feel competent, you know you have what it takes to get things done without someone else diving in to save you. Last week, I discussed the risk of helicopter parenting and how it damages a child’s sense of competence. When you are competent, you have the knowledge, judgment, skill, or strength to perform specific tasks and achieve certain goals. Of course, it’s impossible to feel 100% competent performing every conceivable task or pursuing any goal. However, you should have a basic competence for what you will encounter and do in your personal and professional life. * Competence at work.* Competent in life. * Competent in the world. Feeling capableCapability and competence are related, as they both refer to being able to do something, but I see them as distinct. Competence means you can already do it. You have the necessary skills, knowledge, and experience. For example, my friend is a competent mechanic and can already work on my truck to repair it if something goes wrong. Capability may mean you can do something, but it also can mean you are capable of doing something in the future but need to acquire the skills, knowledge, and experience to do it well. For example, I am capable of learning what I need to know to repair my truck if something goes wrong. I’m not competent yet, but I’m capable of becoming so. In your lifetime, you will only be competent at a fraction of the activities that billions of other humans do every day. You will encounter many, many more situations where you will need to feel capable of dealing with them, learn, adapt, or do what you need to do to get through it.* Mentally capable of observing, recognizing, learning, and adapting. * Emotionally capable of dealing with situations and recovering. * Physically capable of taking care of myself and doing what needs to be done (e.g., I’ve talked about my journey to recover my health and fitness before). Having optionsOptionality means that you have other things you can try if your attempt to predict the future fails. We make decisions and move forward all the time in our lives. For example: * Choosing a school. * Choosing a college degree. * Choosing an employer and job. * Choosing a life partner. * Choosing a place to live.Some choices may narrow your options, make it hard to change later, and shake your confidence when things go wrong. Other choices may provide you with more options, making it easier to pivot later. That knowledge makes you feel more confident in your daily actions. Many years ago, I wrote about the importance of having backup plans. They provide optionality if your Plan A goes sideways. For example: * Being quickly prepared to find another job if you lose your current one. * Having several customers and clients so your business survives if you lose one. * Knowing you are a complete person within yourself if a partner leaves you. Note: I'm not talking about having potential partners floating on the side as you navigate your primary relationship. What I mean is you never let your entire identity and sense of worth rest in another person’s hands. You are complete on your own. Having a partner combines two complete people into something new and powerful. Listen to the full podcast to hear my expanded discussion of all these topics and thoughts. By the way, I’m hosting a Job Search workshop on April 1st!➡️ “Find a Better Job Using 3 Essential Job Search Strategies”The price for the workshop goes up next week. So, if you're interested in joining us, grab a ticket now. ​⏰ This is the last time I will host my Invincible Job Search workshop this year. I won't offer it again until 2025! So, join us now or wait until then.​Note: I record video of myself and the presentation, which I share with all the attendees after the workshop. So, if the time doesn’t work for you to join us live, you will have the homework document and the video material to use later, just like a course.I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who can work with you to optimize your career, business, and life. My mission is to help you take complete control of your work and life so you can become a more “Invincible You.” I live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with my wife and our Great Dane. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

Where was this advice when I was a kid? I had to learn the hard way for most of it. 🤣 The other day, I was thinking about the life advice I wanted to share with my children as they enter their 20s. So, I sat down and captured a few simple lessons I think have made a big difference in my life and career.Here are 20 simple things I think will make you happier, healthier, and more successful. * Invest in your health* Spend time in nature * Always be learning * See the wonder around you* Find tiny moments of joy daily * Always be adapting for the future * Be a scarce commodity * Help others often* Become a great communicator * Become a great connector * Build a powerful network * Make peace with saying no* Be bold and seize opportunities * Remember that bad times pass* Remember that good times don’t last* Be grateful every day* Keep going when others give up * Love and be loved * Travel the world* Be a creator More on each of these below… 1. Invest in your healthI'm sorry, but no amount of money will truly help you fully recover your natural health later in life. So, one of the best investments you can make in your life is to be active daily and eat healthier starting as soon as possible. I've been working out almost every day for the past 16 years. I started eating healthier about 15 years ago. My biggest regret is that I didn't start sooner. Life is so much better in almost every way when you’re healthier and feel better. * I no longer feel tired in the afternoons. * I sleep better at night. * I feel stronger and more capable (e.g., lifting heavy weights is great for you). * I lost a ton of weight. * I look better, and people tell me I look younger, too. * We can do almost anything (e.g., hike in the mountains for 6 hours straight, ski all day, move heavy things around). 2. Spend time in nature I’ve talked about the power of green exercise before. Research has found that the combination of physical activity and time in nature improves both health and mental well-being.3. Always be learning It’s too easy to get stuck in your ways as you grow older. And, sadly, if you don’t keep your mind active, you’ll probably experience cognitive decline. * Keep reading* Keep learning * Have strong opinions held loosely* Be open to new ideasHeck, I’m even considering going back to college to take some new courses. At this point in my life, I’m even more excited about learning new things. 4. See the wonder around youNever lose your childlike wonder. Do you remember when you were young? Do you remember how excited you were to see and experience new things? Get that back! Take time to notice things around you every day. We overlook so much when we’re busy with work and life.I remember talking with some friends who live in Denver. They said they didn’t even notice the snowcapped mountains anymore. How sad is that? And it’s avoidable. Be in the moment and pay attention to the world around you. 5. Find tiny moments of joy daily People sometimes make fun of the recommendation to be more mindful during your day. But, I find joy in being in the moment and pushing the stressful hamster wheel of thoughts aside in my brain while I’m busy doing daily tasks. It may sound silly, but I wake up every morning feeling excited about making coffee and taking that first sip. I created a ritual decades ago of grinding fresh coffee beans, bringing the water up to the perfect temperature, and making the pour-over in my Chemex. Could I save time using an automatic coffeemaker? Sure. Would it be easier to use coffee that is already ground? Yep, I guess so. But I don’t. I like that 20-min process and being in the moment. The sights, sounds, and scents bring me joy. That first sip of amazing coffee is a delight every single day, even after all these decades of doing it. And I try to bring this to other experiences, too (e.g., lifting weights, cleaning things, making meals). Life isn’t just about the big moments like birthdays, holidays, and going on vacation. Celebrate the small moments of tiny joy every day. 6. Always be adapting for the future I know it isn’t easy to keep up with all the changes in the world. It’s also easy to feel overwhelmed by unfamiliar things and get that warm sense of nostalgia for the past. I feel that kick in every once in a while, too. However, it will be exceedingly difficult to stay relevant and successful in your career and life if you stagnate. The future is coming, whether or not we like it. You can either adapt and be a part of it or be left behind. 7. Be a scarce commodity Don’t let yourself become a commodity. If you’re just like everyone else and you do work just like everyone else does, you won’t stand out, and you’ll be easy to replace. Commoditized things get automated and offshored. I’ve watched that happen over the past 30 years. Focus on what makes you unique and valuable, then double down on those things. Don’t be too available. Don’t be too affordable. There is only one of you, and you are amazing! Act like it. 8. Help others often“People want to get happier, but often don’t know the best path to do that,” she says. “Generally, we find that it is more effective to get out of our own heads, and orient ourselves to others.”— Jennifer Aaker I didn’t fully understand how helping others makes you feel happier and more fulfilled until I became a coach over seven years ago. For most of my life, I didn’t get the concept. I sure do now! I’ve made it my personal mission to help good people escape bad situations. It’s so wonderful to see people regain their confidence and get back on a good path. So, if you want to live a happier, more fulfilling life, seek ways to help others. 9. Become a great communicator One of the best investments I made in my life was to become comfortable with public speaking. I’ve talked about this a lot! My career took off, and my confidence in social situations soared once I overcame my fear of public speaking. Becoming a great communicator will serve you well in every aspect of life; work, relationships, daily interactions, etc. 10. Become a great connector I take joy in introducing good people to good people. I network frequently for my businesses, so I stay connected with folks all over the world. In most cases, I know someone who knows someone — at least in the tech industry. Working at IBM, Apple, eBay, and Yahoo helped a lot with that. When you become known for knowing people, folks will reach out to you more often. Opportunities will come your way, as well. And it sure does help to have a great network if you want to become a great connector. 11. Build a powerful network Being a great connector also helps you maintain a fresh and powerful network. I often share that every single one of my jobs in my tech career came about because of my network. I had inside champions who wanted me to work in those companies. The current job market is pretty bleak, but the people who have strong networks are still receiving opportunities. Instead of “spraying and praying” by blasting their resumes to hundreds of companies, they simply reach out and talk with their trusted network. 12. Make peace with saying no I spent much of the early years of my career saying, “Yes.” To some degree, you do need to do that to advance your career. If you are good at getting things done and making things happen, you get promoted a lot. However, at some point, you learn how limited your time and resources are. Not every yes is worth the cost. I found that out. And there is always a price to pay (e.g., time, energy, your health, your peace of mind, missing other opportunities). Here are some things you should say no to: 13. Be bold and seize opportunities The most successful people I know weren’t afraid to chase big opportunities. If you always stay in your comfort zone, you won’t grow, and you won’t be as successful as you could be. I’ve frequently seen less talented people who have more confidence become more successful than much more talented people who were too afraid to try. 14. Remember that bad times passBad times often feel like they will last forever. When you’re down, you start to wonder if you’ll ever recover. Maybe this is the failure that is the beginning of the end. Dark moments are like that. They cloud your judgment and deceive your mind. However, the reality is that bad times won’t last forever. 15. Remember that good times don’t lastOn the flip side, life can’t be sunshine, unicorns, and puppies forever. Good times don’t last, either. There is no such thing as an “eternal high.”The funny thing is, that’s okay. The good feels good precisely because it doesn’t last forever and you also experience the bad. The comparison is what makes it obvious that something is a good moment. 16. Be grateful every day I’ve been working on this for years. I need to remember to be thankful for what I have. I’m getting much better about it. Even when things aren’t going well (e.g., I’m struggling with my work), I can stop and remember to be grateful for everything that is pretty amazing. * My wonderful wife of 33 years. * My 3 amazing children. * I have my health. 17. Keep going when others give up Daniel Goleman would call this “Grit,” and he believes that it is one of the biggest predictors of your success. Angela Lee Duckworth also gave a fascinating TED talk on the subject; Grit: the power of passion and perseverance.Persistence isn’t a magical superpower that only a few are allowed to have. Anyone can do this! Anyone can set their sights on something, be persistent, and keep grinding to make it happen.It is hard work and requires serious commitment, which is why most people tap out. However, you don’t have to be like them. Keep going! 18. Love and be loved I know it sounds sappy, but love matters more than almost anything else in this world. I’m so lucky to have found my wife and someone who loves me as much as I love her. We’ve been together for 33 years now! I know this as a parent. My love for my children is more powerful and important than anything else. I would die for them in a heartbeat. Nothing will improve your life more than loving well and being loved back. 19. Travel the worldTravel broadens the mind. I’ve been lucky enough to travel a lot, thanks to my past career. I even briefly lived in Shanghai, China. It changes you. It improves you. It boosts your compassion. I’ll never understand people who don’t want to see the world. I’ve even met people who had been born and raised and never left NYC. Not once! They said, “Why would I go anywhere else? New York has everything.”Yeah, okay. Keep telling yourself that. If I hadn’t traveled, I never would have had the surreal experience of watching the sunset over the caldera in Santorini. 20. Be a creator Finally, I fear that we are becoming nothing but consumers. The internet flowing through all of our devices makes it easy to consume 24x7. More Netflix, Hulu, Prime, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc. etc. etc.! However, there is incredible power and joy in the act of creation. So, if you want to live a more amazing life, put your phone down and start creating something:* Write a story or poem. * Take beautiful photographs. * Start sketching and painting. * Play with clay. * Try a new recipe. * Learn to play a musical instrument. * Start a podcast. * Sing, sing, sing. * Build a business! I create more now than I consume, and it has completely changed my life. ⏳ My workshop registration closes in less than 5 days!I'm hosting a workshop on how to build a solopreneur business on Feb 26th. "Build a Lifestyle Business to Escape Your 9-5 Job"I'll record the workshop and share the video with you later. So, if the time doesn't work for you, you'll have the workbook exercises and video to use, just like a course.Note: I won’t offer this specific workshop again for 6 months! So, if you’re interested, learn more about it and get your ticket today. Hi, I’m Larry Cornett, a success coach who can work with you to optimize your career, life, or business. My mission is to help you take complete control of your life so you can become a more “Invincible You.” I currently live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with my wife and Great Dane. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

Getting older isn’t all bad. I’ve already encountered many of the expected positive aspects of aging. * I’m calmer and less stressed. * I don’t experience anger as often. * I’m happier. * I feel more comfortable in my skin. * I feel more confident. * Wisdom starts kicking in. * A big one: I’m still alive! 🤣 But I’ve discovered that aging has another cool benefit: I no longer put up with unpleasant people in my life. I used to care a lot about what other people thought about me and wanted folks to like me. I wanted to make people happy. I didn’t want to make waves or create conflict, so I absorbed the stress from many interactions and relationships at work and in my personal life. However, as the years have gone by, I’ve increasingly stopped putting up with people who are a net negative in my life. My inner circle has shrunk to only include those whose company I enjoy. Being self-employed certainly has helped. Moving out of the city and into the country was good, too. But I’ve also made a conscious effort to stop engaging with most of humanity. Some people have called me a misanthrope. Am I? I’m not sure. I think I just no longer have patience for unpleasant people having an unpleasant impact on the precious little time I have left in this world. “I’m at that stage in life where I stay out of discussions. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right—have fun.” — Keanu ReevesThere are 10 kinds of people you should remove from your life if you can. We tolerate most of this behavior for too long. If you can be brave enough to eliminate your relationships with these folks, you’ll be surprised by how much more delightful your days become. * One-uppers* Yum-yuckers* Energy-drainers* Never-reciprocators * Chronic-complainers* Always-blamers * Never-enoughers * Boundary-steppers * Never-forgivers * Bad-influencersLife is too short, my friend. You don’t have unlimited energy to accomplish what you want in life while being drained by interactions with these people. Of course, if you’re encountering this type of behavior in a valuable relationship (e.g., family member, close friend) or a relationship you can’t escape right now (e.g., boss, coworker), try to address the issues and improve things. I know you can’t always walk away from someone as easily as blocking a negative person on social media. Even so, you may need to minimize your time around them. 1. One-uppersDo you have a friend who always tries to one-up everything you do? I used to have a few friends like this. Some of my more distant family members were guilty of this, too. No matter what story I shared or accomplishment I achieved, they would react the same way: “Oh yeah? That’s nothing! Let me tell you about what I experienced last week.”They couldn’t seem to help themselves. They always had to top my story or crush my accomplishments. They just had to show everyone how much more exciting, interesting, and great they were vs. anyone else. It grows old, and it never feels good. If someone is always trying to one-up your life, it’s time to reconsider their presence in it. I stopped spending time around these folks, and the sense of relief was tangible. 2. Yum-yuckersThis behavior is so strange to me. It has happened in my real life, but it happens more often on social media. I’ll post something like a photo of a meal I enjoyed, and someone inevitably leaves a negative comment. “Ewww. I hate sushi.”What the heck?! Why would you say something like that on a post someone shared? What’s the point? It’s happened so often in my life:* Someone told me they didn’t like my new shirt. * A coworker made fun of my car. * Someone often says something negative about the food photos I post. * A stranger commented that my favorite movie was stupid. * A follower mocked my choice of a favorite author. I used to put up with this. Sometimes I would defend myself. Now? Now, I just block people and move on. You don’t like what I post? Here, I’ll make it easy for you. You’re blocked. Now you no longer have to see the stupid stuff I post! Win-win. 3. Energy-drainersHave you ever noticed how you feel tired after interacting with some people? They’re always down and negative, so they bring you down, too. Or you spend so much time and energy trying to lift their spirits that you are weary after each interaction. Of course, this happens to all of us from time to time. And it sure is nice when a good friend can make you feel better. However, some people are always negative and pull you down into their spiral of despair. * They hate their boss but will do nothing about it. * They hate their job but will never quit. * Stuff is always going wrong, but they’ll never take your advice. Unless you’re a licensed therapist that this person has hired, this relationship dynamic isn’t really fair to you. I’ve minimized my time with people like this, and it’s definitely made my life better. 4. Never-reciprocators In my younger years, I had some friends who were really good at asking for favors but never reciprocating. For example, I remember helping one friend move at least three times that I can remember, but this person never seemed to be available when I needed help with a move. I finally stopped being their free moving service. You probably have a few people in your life like this: * You’re the one who makes all the effort to keep the friendship going. * Someone who never seems to return the favor of buying lunch. * You help them when they’re in a bind, but they’re never available to help you. * That one friend who borrows money but never pays you back. * The family member you travel to visit but never makes a trip to visit you. A healthy relationship has some give and take from both sides. If you’re in a one-sided friendship, is that person really your friend? 5. Chronic-complainersThese folks always have something to complain about. They never seem happy with anything in life, and they always feel like the victim in situations. No one has it as hard as they do! Mostly, these people are seeking sympathy and validation. I don’t know if you’ve experienced this, but offering advice or trying to help doesn’t work. That can actually backfire. I’ve had someone come back and complain that my advice didn’t help.Unfortunately, this victim mentality can be part of someone’s personality, and they never seem to change. Minimize your time around them, or they will wear you down. 6. Always-blamers I know someone who always blames their current employer for their terrible work experiences. The problem is, they’ve been doing this for decades and with every single new employer. "If you run into an aholeinthemorning,youranintoanahole. If you run into aholesallday,you′retheahole."— Raylan Givens, JustifiedSome people just want to blame anyone else and anything else for their problems. They refuse to take any personal responsibility. Of course, that means they are doomed to live a powerless life. But perhaps they’d rather have that than take any ownership? Nothing makes me more weary than someone who refuses to take ownership of issues but would rather blame everyone else. It’s always someone else’s fault. And, sooner or later, they will blame you, too. Move on. These people are tiresome. 7. Never-enoughers I’ve worked for some managers who were never satisfied. No matter how hard you worked or how well things turned out, it was never enough. They wanted more, more, more! I know some people have experienced this with their parents, and that makes me so sad. They’d get an A on a test, and the parent asked, “Why not an A+?” They’d place second in an event, and the parent was upset that they didn’t take first. There’s nothing wrong with some encouragement to become the best you can be. We all need a push now and then. But it sure is hard to be around someone who never celebrates your wins because they want you to do even better next time. This also happens with people who feel like you never do enough for them. * You can never spend enough time with them. * You can never show enough love. * You can never buy enough gifts. * You can never give them enough praise. * You can never show enough gratitude. These folks are a bottomless pit of neediness. At some point, you just give up because you know they’ll never be satisfied. You’ll never be good enough. You’ll never do enough. That’s no way to live. 8. Boundary-steppers I wasn’t great at setting boundaries during my corporate career. I’d work late nights and weekends. I’d miss important family events because I had a hard time telling my boss, “No.” However, I recovered my personal life and developed boundaries when I started my own business. I quickly discovered that I had to with an early client. They started texting me late at night and over the weekend, expecting quick responses and getting upset when I wasn’t always available. So, I started adding clear boundaries (and additional boundaries), client by client and month by month. I still encounter people who try to step past my boundaries to get what they want. But I no longer tolerate it. If someone doesn’t respect my boundaries, they can move on. I don’t need clients like that. I don’t want friends like that, either. When people don’t respect your boundaries, it means they don’t respect you. Do you really want someone like that in your life? 9. Never-forgivers “To err is human, to forgive, divine.”— Alexander Pope It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who can never forgive you for your mistakes. Or, they claim to forgive you but use every opportunity to remind you about it. That’s always fun… 🙄If you’ve ever spent time with someone like this, you know how bad it feels. You end up carrying the burden of your mistakes forever. And, being human, you will make mistakes. Lots of mistakes.Life is too short to spend time around people who will never let you apologize and move on. 10. Bad-influencers“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”— Jim RohnI was just talking about this with my friend Nate Davis during his interview for my Invincible Solopreneurs podcast. Making a new inner circle of friends was an essential part of building a more successful life. The people who will have the most influence on your life are the ones you spend the most time with. Choose wisely! Does your inner circle lift you up and encourage you to become your best self? Or does your inner circle hold you back and drag you into negative habits (e.g., drinking too much every weekend)? If someone is a bad influence on you, you need to minimize (or eliminate) your time with them. Or, maybe you can flip things around and become a positive influence that helps them improve their life! A New Year’s Resolution So, there you have it. The ten types of people who can make your life unpleasant if you let them linger and have more of an influence over your wellbeing than they should. It will be a tough resolution to keep, but minimizing or eliminating your time around people like this will improve your quality of life. It certainly has made me feel happier and emotionally healthier! Feel free to share this post with a friend or loved one who needs to hear this advice.I’m Larry Cornett, a Personal Coach who can work with you to optimize your career, life, or business. My mission is to help you take complete control of your life so you can become a more “Invincible You.” I currently live in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with my wife and Great Dane. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe

Try this tip todayIdentify one thing you’re not doing because you’re waiting for someone else’s permission. “I can’t do that.” “I don’t want to get into trouble.““I need to make sure it’s ok.“ “Let me ask for permission first.“And there it is. The one behavior that rule followers, people pleasers, and all-around “good kids” can’t seem to stop doing. * Asking for permission *I should know. That used to be me. As a first-born child and overachiever, I grew up being a rule follower. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be praised by my parents, teachers, and coaches. I was the good kid who did what he was supposed to do, for a really long time. I got good grades and never got into trouble until we moved away to a new town and a school where I had the opportunity to reinvent myself and start over. I became more of a risk taker and a rule breaker. And it helped! I had more success in life and with my personal relationships. However, old habits die hard. As I moved ahead in my academic life in graduate school and my professional career in Silicon Valley, I slowly but surely fell back into a habit of wanting to make my professors happy and my managers satisfied with my performance. I became that people-pleasing “good kid” again. Yes, following rules and performing well can help you succeed to a certain extent. My career wasn’t bad. I did pretty well. But, you do hit a ceiling. You’ll never reach the highest levels of success if you’re the person who waits for permission. Also, being a rule follower and people pleaser doesn’t make for the most exciting and enjoyable life. The greatest triumphs await those who take the greatest risks. Life becomes a helluva lot more fun and rewarding when you stop waiting around for permission to live it the way you want. “Audaces fortuna iuvat. Fortune favors the bold.” ― VirgilThanks for checking out Invincible Life! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.What sets successful people apartIt’s easy to think that highly successful people have some hidden advantage that sets them apart from the rest of us. In fact, Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers (my affiliate link) provides several examples of wildly successful people who had non-obvious advantages. They weren’t just smart, talented, and driven, although that helped.I’m going to ignore both the obvious and hidden advantages that people like Bill Gates, Sheryl Sandberg, Marissa Mayer, and Elon Musk had that propelled their career success. I’m not so crazy about most of the folks, anyway. The number one behavior that the most successful people exhibit is easily accessible to you, me, and absolutely everyone:➡️ They don’t ask for permission.By “successful people” I don’t mean those who get featured on the front page of Time, Forbes, Rolling Stone, or Sports Illustrated. You know how I feel about that. I mean, the everyday people who are living well and living life on their own terms. That is something we all should aspire to achieve.Some of the successful people I know have had outstanding success in their careers working for a company. A few have founded their own companies. And some are entrepreneurs spending their days as they wish. As I’ve watched all of their careers blossom over the past decades, I noticed they don’t ask for permission to pursue what they want out of their career and life.I know dozens of these people. You’d think that I might know hundreds after spending over two decades in the tech industry in Silicon Valley. After all, isn’t that the birthplace of disruptive innovation? But, I don’t. Most of us fall victim to following the rules and assuming that we must wait for permission to pursue bigger goals.“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”— Henry David ThoreauRules, filters, barriers, and guardsBarriers are in place to make the status quo easier to maintain. People like routine. They like the familiar. They don’t like change, stress, and unnecessary work. A gatekeeper’s default answer is “No” because it makes their lives easier.Therein lies the inherent weakness of the “ask for permission” model: You will often hear “No.” You will especially be told no if you are seeking a stretch goal, or if you don’t fit the perfect image of what an easy “Yes” is for them. That’s why most recruiters overlook exceptional talent that doesn’t match their simple checkbox list. Success in your life and career requires that you sometimes bend or even break the rules. It wasn’t always easy for me to do this. * I was your typical first-born child. * I always felt older than my age, which made me believe I should be more responsible. * I wanted to please my parents, teachers, and coaches. * I was a straight-A student, took part in science fairs and spelling bees, put my head down and did what I was told in the military, and cranked on college and graduate school to get those degrees that I thought were so important.However, I was in for a few surprise discoveries throughout my life, especially during my education. I also found out that playing by the rules may help you “meet expectations” in your job, but you must break a few rules to slip past the usual barricades if you want your career to skyrocket.I broke a ruleI don’t know how to type. Let me clarify: I never took a formal typing class. I’m self-taught.This may sound funny to you younger folks, but remember, we didn’t grow up with computers. Heck, most of us didn’t even have a typewriter at home. My first exposure to a QWERTY keyboard was an Apple IIe in a BASIC programming class in high school.I wasn’t supposed to be there. The rule was that you took a typing class for a semester, and only later could you take the BASIC class. I jumped the queue.I remember hiding it from the teacher when she occasionally walked around the computer room. But she mostly sat in her other classroom, getting caught up on her work.However, one day she caught me “programming.” I would write my code by hand on paper with spaces between the numbered lines (in increments of 10) to insert code and make changes. I would “run” the code in my head, reading through it on paper to make sure the logic worked, erasing bugs, and rewriting.She caught me and was furious.“What are you doing?! You can’t type?!?!?!”I explained why, and she almost kicked me out of the class. But, she let me stay if I could keep up with the homework and tests. In a short time, I actually ended up being the best programmer in class, and she never mentioned it again.Unbeknownst to me, this planted the seeds for my foray into the world of tech much later in my life. If I had asked for permission to join the BASIC class, the gatekeeper would have denied me.I slipped past a barrierI never had formal design training, yet I became a designer with a career at IBM, Apple, eBay, Yahoo, and several startups. Not only did I not have design training, I only took a couple of art classes in high school, and an art history course in college.So, I taught myself. I’ve always been artistic, sketching and drawing from a very young age. But it was only in graduate school that I started designing software interfaces for my own needs. I was using HyperCard for my psychology research, and I even taught a course in HyperCard and HyperTalk to professors and other graduate students. I voraciously read Danny Goodman’s HyperCard book (my affiliate link) from cover to cover (thank you, Danny). I educated myself.I’m sure it was my degree, prototyping skills, and network that got me in the doors at IBM and Apple. But, I had to devour every book I could on software design, read all the Apple Technical Library books, learn fast, and prove myself.The one thing that I didn’t do was ask for permission to be a designer.I dodged a gatekeeperI have a Ph.D. in Psychology, but I don’t have an MBA. So, how did I become the VP of Consumer Products for Yahoo Search without any formal experience as a product manager?I had dabbled in product management while I was working at eBay. I was working on a big project as the lead designer with a product manager (PM) running it. It was a complex product, but the project was going well. Until the PM got called for jury duty.Everyone was booked solid, so the PM’s manager asked if I could just run the project to get it launched. I said “Yes,” and finished writing the PRD, worked with engineering, and launched the product successfully.It probably helped that I had hands-on product experience and I’m the kind of weird hybrid designer who gets product management, analytics, statistics, and dabbled in some engineering. I could talk the talk (and somewhat walk the walk).But, I didn’t wait for someone to ask me to be the Head of Product for Yahoo! Search. I didn’t let my lack of an MBA or PM title hold me back. I saw an opportunity and went for it before I had someone’s permission. I basically said “Yes” and then figured out how I was going to do the job.Achieving greater successI look back on my life, and I see a pattern of why some of it worked out well.* I set my sights on a goal.* I identified the gaps in my knowledge and skills.* I worked hard to teach myself what I needed to know.* I quickly seized an opportunity when it presented itself.* I said “Yes” first, and then figured things out later.* I didn’t ask for permission to be who and what I wanted to become.Did this strategy succeed 100% of the time? No, of course not. I’ve had my fair share of failures, overreaching, and setbacks. But, if you never even go for it, your odds of success are 0%.I meet many people who are waiting before they can pursue a dream goal. They say that they need a specialized degree, a specific certification, or permission from their professor, parent, boss, or another authority figure.No, you don’t.Some of the best developers, designers, and product managers I’ve hired for my teams over the years have been self-taught. I didn’t care about their degrees or certifications. They showed they were smart, ambitious, and could do great work.History is replete with autodidacts who didn’t need anyone’s approval or certification to pursue their calling. Note: I’m not sharing these famous people to tell you to emulate them and follow their paths. They are simply recognizable examples of successful people who didn’t let traditional barriers stand in their way.* The world-famous author Ray Bradbury never went to college.* Suzanne Valadon was a self-taught artist. * David Bowie taught himself to play many musical instruments.* Jane Jacobs wrote books about city planning, economics, and sociology with only a high school degree. * Frank Lloyd Wright did not have a degree in architecture.* Vera Wang took a huge risk leaving a great job and launched her business when she was 40 years old. * Buckminster Fuller was expelled from Harvard twice.* Toni Morrison didn’t wait for someone’s permission to tell her she could be a writer. * Richard Branson was dyslexic and dropped out of high school.If you want something, find a way to get it. * Find a different path that isn’t blocked by their rules and regulations. * Come in through the side door or back door. * Walk past the locks and bolts and guards they’ve put on the front door. * Leverage all of your unfair advantages.So, the one change you need to make to achieve things others never will?Stop waiting for permission!Share this with a friend who needs to break a few rules and stop asking for permission to pursue the life they want. Larry Cornett received his Ph.D. in Psychology from Rice University. He spent decades in the Silicon Valley tech industry as a designer, Design leader, Product executive, and startup founder. He eventually left the corporate world to start a coaching practice and now lives in Northern California near Lake Tahoe with his wife and children, and a gigantic Great Dane. He does his best to share advice to help others create their own invincible lives. You can find him on Twitter @cornett. Get full access to Side Questing Life at newsletter.invinciblelife.me/subscribe