It Takes a Family

In this episode of It Takes a Family, Andy and Kelly continue the conversation on faith and Gen Z with returning guest Davon Stack. Building on last week’s discussion with Dr. Stephanie Shackelford, this episode focuses on the practical side of helping kids develop lasting faith in everyday family life.Drawing from years in student ministry, pastoral care, and parenting, Davon shares what he’s seeing firsthand in Gen Z: a deep longing for identity, purpose, connection, and something real to hold onto in a confusing world.Together, they discuss how parents can create safe spaces for honest conversations, why relationships matter more than perfection, and how small spiritual rhythms can shape a child’s faith over time.From responding calmly when kids open up, to modeling authentic faith in the ordinary moments, this episode is filled with encouragement for parents who may feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or spiritually inadequate themselves.Because building faith in your home doesn’t require having all the answers.It starts with showing up, staying present, and trusting that God is working — even in the small moments.Episode Highlights[02:00] Davon’s background in student ministry and pastoral care[04:30] The biggest struggle Gen Z faces[06:00] How beliefs shape thoughts, emotions, and actions[07:00] The impact of comparison and technology on teens[09:00] Why relationships are key to helping kids open up[10:00] How parents can respond well when kids share hard things[11:30] Creating a home environment that nurtures faith[13:00] Simple spiritual rhythms families can practice together[15:00] Why serving helps teenagers connect faith to real life[16:00] Encouragement for parents whose kids resist church or faith[18:00] The importance of community and trusted adults[20:00] Why modeling authentic faith matters more than perfection[22:30] Encouragement for parents who didn’t grow up with faith themselves[27:00] Finding hope when parenting feels overwhelmingResources Mentioned📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Research — Barna Group📖 New Morning Mercies by New Morning Mercies🏡 Eagle RanchDon’t Miss Out!This episode continues our Season 2 conversation on Gen Z and mental health — exploring how faith, community, and consistent family rhythms can help move families from isolation and fear toward hope and connection.If this episode encouraged you:Subscribe so you don’t miss upcoming conversationsLeave a review on Apple or SpotifyShare this episode with another parentAnd connect with us on Facebook and Instagram — we’d love to hear how your family is building meaningful rhythms together.You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

In this episode of Season 2, Andy and Kelly sit down with Dr. Stephanie Shackelford to explore a surprising trend: Gen Z is increasingly open to faith—and even returning to it.Drawing on research from the Barna Group, this conversation unpacks what’s behind this shift. In a world that feels chaotic, hyper-connected, and often meaningless, many young people are searching for something deeper—something steady.And they’re finding it in unexpected places.From renewed interest in church to curiosity around spiritual practices like prayer, Sabbath, and silence, Gen Z is showing a growing desire for meaning, peace, and purpose. But while the interest is there, many lack the structure or guidance to build lasting faith.That’s where families come in.This episode invites parents to consider the small, consistent rhythms that shape a child’s spiritual foundation—from attending church together to simple practices like shared meals, prayer, and creating space for rest.Because building faith doesn’t require perfection or complexity.It starts with small, intentional steps—lived out together over time.Episode Highlights[01:00] Introducing the “Faith Roots” conversation [02:00] A simple family rhythm: singing the doxology [05:30] Why small spiritual habits matter more than you think [06:00] Gen Z’s openness to spirituality [08:00] The search for truth, meaning, and stability [10:30] Why silence and stillness are appealing to Gen Z [12:30] Faith, hope, and love in a generation facing despair [14:30] The power of attending church as a family [17:00] Practicing Sabbath in realistic ways [18:30] How prayer builds resilient families [20:00] The role of everyday rhythms (like family meals) [22:00] Why parents must model what they want to pass on [24:00] Building community and not doing faith alone [26:00] The importance of intergenerational relationships [28:00] Choosing priorities: saying no to say yesResources Mentioned📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Research — Barna Group https://www.barna.com/mental-health/🏡 Eagle Ranch https://www.eagleranch.org/Don’t Miss Out!This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation.Next week, we’ll move from research to additional ideas of application—exploring how these faith rhythms actually play out in everyday family life.If this episode encouraged you:Subscribe so you don’t miss upcoming conversationsLeave a review on Apple or SpotifyShare this episode with another parentAnd connect with us on Facebook and Instagram—we’d love to hear how you’re putting this into practice.You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

In this episode of Season 2, Andy and Kelly sit down with two Gen Z voices, Riley and Tessa, to hear how today’s young people are actually navigating mental health, identity, and resilience.Building on research from the Barna Group and insights from Dr. Stephanie Shackelford, this conversation moves beyond just the research and into real-life experiences.Gen Z is more open than ever about mental health—but that openness can sometimes turn into over-identifying with struggles. Riley and Tessa share candidly about what they see in their generation: the tension between awareness and identity, the temptation to label instead of work through challenges, and the impact that has on resilience.But they also offer hope.Through their stories, we see what actually helps young people grow: consistent time with God, honest community, and adults who show up with authenticity—not perfection.For parents, this episode is a reminder that your presence, your faithfulness, and the way you walk through hard things matter more than having all the right answers.Because helping your child build resilience doesn’t start with fixing their struggles.It starts with walking with them through it.Episode Highlights[01:30] A fun (and revealing) Gen Z slang quiz [06:00] How Gen Z views mental health today [09:30] Awareness vs. identity: where it gets tricky [12:30] Why labeling struggles can limit growth [14:00] What actually builds resilience [16:00] The role of faith and daily rhythms [18:30] Walking through anxiety and identity challenges [21:00] Why community is essential [23:30] The impact of parents during hard seasons [25:00] Presence over perfection [27:00] The value of mentors and other adults [29:00] What teens really think about their parentsResources Mentioned📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Research — Barna Group https://www.barna.com/mental-health/Don’t Miss Out!If this episode encouraged you:Subscribe so you don’t miss upcoming conversationsLeave a review on Apple or SpotifyShare this episode with another parentAnd connect with us on Facebook and Instagram—we’d love to hear how you’re putting this into practice.You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

If we want to help Gen Z thrive, we have to help them tell a better story.In this episode of Season 2, Andy and Kelly sit down with Dr. Stephanie Shackelford to explore how today’s teens are interpreting their lives—and why so many feel stuck.Building on research from the Barna Group, this conversation unpacks a growing trend: Gen Z increasingly views life through a “therapeutic lens,” where emotions define reality and struggles are quickly labeled or diagnosed.While this has led to greater emotional awareness and reduced stigma around mental health, it also comes with challenges.When every hard moment is labeled as trauma—or every feeling becomes identity—young people can lose sight of the bigger picture. Instead of seeing emotions as signals, they begin to see them as the full story.And that’s where parents come in.This episode invites parents to step into their role as story-shapers—helping their kids hold both lament and hope, interpret their experiences accurately, and develop resilience in the face of challenges.Because the goal isn’t to dismiss hard things.It’s to remind our kids: this is not the whole story.Episode Highlights[01:30] What we’d tell our 16-year-old selves[03:00] What it means that Gen Z sees life through a “therapeutic lens”[06:30] The pros and cons of emotional awareness[10:00] Why Gen Z feels overwhelmed: technology, information, and constant connection[12:00] Social media, algorithms, and the illusion of community[14:00] Why Gen Z feels “stuck” and lacks resilience[16:00] The role of parents in shaping perspective and offering hope[17:30] “Name what’s true”: helping kids interpret reality accurately[19:00] Research insight: how we interpret experiences shapes our well-being[20:30] Why language matters (trauma, triggers, diagnoses)[23:30] What to do when your child pushes back[24:30] Modeling emotional health and repair as parents[26:30] Why your mistakes can actually help your kids growResources Mentioned📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Research — Barnahttps://www.barna.com/mental-health/📖 On Getting Out of Bed — Alan Noble🎵 Be Kind to Yourself — Andrew Peterson🏡 Eagle Ranchhttps://www.eagleranch.org/Don’t Miss What’s NextThis is Part 1 of a two-part conversation.Next week, we’ll hear directly from Gen Z voices—how this plays out in real life and what’s actually helping.Don’t Miss Out!If this episode encouraged you:Subscribe so you don’t miss upcoming conversationsLeave a review on Apple or SpotifyShare this episode with another parent who may need encouragementAnd as always, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love to hear how you’re implementing these ideas in your own family.You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

If we want to help Gen Z thrive, we can’t just encourage connection—we have to understand how we’re actually wired for it.In this special bonus episode of Season 2, Andy and Kelly sit down with Dr. Curt Thompson—psychiatrist, speaker, and author—to explore the deep connection between our brains, our relationships, and our need to be known.Building on our Increased Connectedness conversation, Dr. Thompson helps us see that healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens when we are seen, soothed, safe, and secure in relationship.Drawing from interpersonal neurobiology and faith, he explains how shame and anxiety shape our stories—and how those stories often begin long before we’re aware of them. From early childhood experiences to the subtle “death by a thousand cuts” moments, we all carry narratives that influence how we parent, connect, and respond to stress.But there is hope.Dr. Thompson reminds us that it’s never too late to retell our story.Through intentional relationships, repaired ruptures, and consistent presence, we can begin to experience healing—and offer that same healing to our children.Episode Highlights[01:30] Meet Dr. Curt Thompson: psychiatrist, author, and expert on connection[03:00] Growing up: how early family experiences shape our stories[06:30] Why we’re wired for connection—and what happens when it’s missing[10:00] Anxiety explained: what’s really happening beneath the surface[14:30] The link between shame and anxiety—and how they form our identity[18:00] “We are our biggest problem”: the stories we tell ourselves[22:00] How shame develops early—and why it’s more felt than thought[27:00] The “death by a thousand cuts”: subtle ways shame builds over time[32:00] How unprocessed pain impacts our parenting[36:00] Why success doesn’t resolve underlying anxiety or shame[40:00] The power of community in healing and growth[43:00] Repairing ruptures: what actually builds secure relationships[47:00] Why parents don’t need to be perfect—just willing to repair[50:00] The importance of being known in your own life first[52:00] How connection rewrites our story—and our children’sResources Mentioned📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Report — Barna Grouphttps://www.barna.com/mental-health/📖 The Soul of Shame — Dr. Curt Thompson📖 The Anatomy of the Soul — Dr. Curt Thompson📖 The Soul of Desire — Dr. Curt Thompson🎧 Being Known Podcast — Dr. Curt Thompsonhttps://curtthompsonmd.com/podcast/🌐 Dr. Curt Thompson Websitehttps://curtthompsonmd.com/Don’t Miss Out!If this episode encouraged you:Subscribe so you don’t miss upcoming conversationsLeave a review on Apple or SpotifyShare this episode with another parent who may need encouragementAnd as always, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love to hear how you’re implementing these ideas in your own family.You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

If we want to help Gen Z thrive, we can’t just encourage connection—we have to help them experience relationships built through shared life.In Part 2 of our Increased Connectedness conversation, Andy and Kelly sit down with Shane Sullards—entrepreneur, adventurer, and Eagle Ranch alumnus—to explore how community is actually formed and why struggle often plays a key role in deepening it.Drawing from his own story, Shane shares how his time at Eagle Ranch transformed his life. As a teenager facing deep pain and isolation, it wasn’t independence that changed him—it was consistent, caring community. Through relationships that refused to let him withdraw, he began to experience hope, healing, and a new sense of belonging.That experience continues to shape how he lives and parents today.Shane challenges the idea that connection just “happens.” Instead, he explains that meaningful community is built through intentional action—showing up, staying engaged, and walking through hard things together.Some of the deepest bonds aren’t formed in comfort, but in struggle.Whether it’s navigating family challenges or simply showing up consistently in everyday moments, shared difficulty has a way of turning individuals into a community.For parents, this offers both a challenge and an invitation.This conversation is a reminder that community doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built through presence, perseverance, and a willingness to walk through life together.Episode Highlights[01:30] Meet Shane Sullards: entrepreneur, adventurer, and Eagle Ranch alumnus[03:00] Shane’s story: how community at Eagle Ranch changed his life[04:30] Why independence alone isn’t enough[06:30] Isolation vs. connection for introverts and extroverts[08:00] A pivotal moment of care that created space for healing[10:00] Mentorship: learning from those who have “been there”[11:30] Parenting tension: protection vs. healthy struggle[12:30] Encouragement for parents who feel disconnected[13:00] “Action is love”: small steps that build connection[14:30] How shared struggle deepens relationships[16:30] Why struggle reveals character[17:30] Lessons from global communities[20:30] The downside of self-sufficiency[21:30] Reframing hardship as growth[22:30] Modeling healthy relationships[23:30] Creating opportunities for connection[24:30] Building resilience through responsibilityResources Mentioned📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Report (Barna Group)https://www.barna.com/mental-health/📖 You on Purpose — Dr. Stephanie Shackelford🏡 Eagle Ranchhttps://www.eagleranch.org/Don’t Miss Out!If this episode encouraged you:Subscribe so you don’t miss upcoming conversationsLeave a review on Apple or SpotifyShare this episode with another parent who may need encouragementAnd as always, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love to hear how you’re implementing these ideas in your own family.You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

If we want to help Gen Z thrive, we have to look closely at one of the most powerful influences on their well-being: connection.In this episode, Andy and Kelly sit down with Dr. Stephanie Shackelford to explore what research reveals about relationships—and why, in a world of constant digital interaction, many young people are still experiencing deep loneliness.As part of our series on the Gen Z mental health crisis, this conversation focuses on the reality that while today’s kids are more connected than ever, much of that connection is shallow. Dr. Shackelford introduces the idea of “thin” versus “thick” relationships, helping us understand why frequent interaction doesn’t always lead to meaningful connection.The research is clear: strong, healthy relationships are one of the greatest predictors of mental health, physical health, and long-term resilience. In fact, decades of research—including a landmark Harvard study on adult development—point to relationships as one of the most significant contributors to lifelong health and happiness.But in the midst of busy schedules, packed calendars, and digital distractions, many families are unintentionally missing out on the kind of connection that truly sustains us.There is good news.Connection doesn’t require perfection or adding more to an already full life. It begins with small, intentional shifts—creating space, prioritizing shared experiences, and being willing to invite others into our everyday rhythms.This episode offers both clarity and hope, reminding us that resilience is not built by avoiding hardship, but by walking through it together.Episode Highlights[02:50] Who is Gen Z and what the research reveals about rising mental health challenges[04:40] The connection paradox: why Gen Z is both highly connected and deeply lonely[05:00] Why strong relationships are one of the greatest predictors of health and happiness[06:10] “Thin” vs. “thick” connection: what today’s kids are missing[07:00] How technology creates the illusion of connection without depth[09:00] Why busyness does not equal true community[10:30] The four characteristics of resilient families[11:30] What separates resilient families: a willingness to ask for help[13:00] Why receiving support can feel uncomfortable—but is essential[14:10] Creating margin and space for connection in everyday life[15:00] Simple ways to build connection through shared experiences[17:00] The role of serving together in strengthening relationships[19:00] Why church and community involvement matter for well-being[20:20] The importance of intergenerational relationships for kidsResources Mentioned📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Report (Barna Group)https://www.barna.com/mental-health/📊 The State of Today’s Family (Barna Group)https://www.barna.com/the-state-of-todays-family/📖 You on Purpose — Dr. Stephanie ShackelfordDon’t Miss Out!If this episode encouraged you:Subscribe so you don’t miss upcoming conversationsLeave a review on Apple or SpotifyShare this episode with another parent who may need encouragementAnd as always, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love to hear how you’re implementing these ideas in your own family.You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

If we want to help Gen Z thrive, we can’t only focus on kids—we have to support the parents raising them.In Part 2 of our Supporting the Guardians conversation, Andy and Kelly sit down with Eagle Ranch counselor Phillip Costa to talk about what parents themselves are experiencing right now—and why their own healing and growth matter so much.Drawing from nearly two decades of counseling experience, Phillip shares how anxiety, stress, and depression among parents have steadily increased, especially in the digital age. From constant information overload to the pressure of “getting parenting right,” many caregivers today feel overwhelmed and exhausted.But there is hope.Phillip explains that lasting change in a family often begins when parents slow down and begin exploring their own story—how they were parented, what triggers them, and how unresolved pain can shape the way they respond to their children.When parents begin doing that work, something powerful happens: the entire family system begins to shift.This conversation offers a hopeful reminder that parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about faithfulness in the process, growing in compassion for ourselves, and building a foundation strong enough to weather the storms that inevitably come.Episode Highlights[03:40] The current state of parenting: why anxiety and stress are increasing for caregivers[05:30] How constant information and “Dr. Google” can fuel parental anxiety[08:40] Signs a parent may be running on empty and losing margin[10:30] Why exploring your personal story is essential for growth[13:30] What keeps parents from slowing down and doing their own work[14:30] The ripple effect: how parents changing begins to transform families[16:10] Understanding authoritative parenting: balancing nurture and structure[18:20] Why tools and parenting tips don’t work without a strong foundation[20:00] The importance of community when processing your story[25:30] Encouragement for parents who feel like they’re doing the work but still strugglingResources Mentioned📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Report (Barna Group)https://www.barna.com/mental-health/🎙 Previous Episode with Phillip CostaFamily Dynamics: What Doesn’t Get Healed Gets Transferred (Part 1) — Season 1, Episode 4📖 You on Purpose — Dr. Stephanie ShackelfordDon’t Miss Out!If this episode encouraged you:• Subscribe so you don’t miss upcoming conversations• Leave a review on Apple or Spotify• Share this episode with another parent who may need encouragementAnd as always, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love to hear how you’re implementing these ideas in your own family.You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

When we talk about the Gen Z mental health crisis, the focus is often on teens. But what about the people raising them?In this episode of It Takes a Family, Andy and Kelly welcome back researcher Dr. Stephanie Shackelford to explore the second theme from the Barna research: Supporting the Guardians.What the data reveals is both surprising and deeply important—parents are struggling at nearly the same rates as their children. Anxiety, loneliness, and chronic stress are affecting caregivers across the board, making it harder to lead families with confidence.Dr. Shackelford helps unpack what’s happening beneath the surface and why supporting parents is essential if we want to help the next generation thrive.In this conversation, we discuss:• Why many parents today feel overwhelmed and paralyzed by information• The growing loneliness crisis among caregivers• How parental mental health directly impacts children• The difference between permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative parenting• Why both warmth and structure are essential for healthy development• How redefining the goal of parenting—from happiness to flourishing—changes everythingThe good news? Parents don’t have to figure this out alone. Small steps toward community, honest conversations, and simple rhythms can make a powerful difference.Episode Highlights[03:00] Why the mental health of parents matters just as much as the mental health of teens[04:00] The loneliness crisis among caregivers and the pressure parents carry today[08:30] Understanding permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative parenting styles[10:00] Why children need both connection and boundaries to flourish[13:30] How your own upbringing may shape the way you parent today[15:00] Rethinking the goal of parenting: happiness vs. flourishing[19:30] Returning to basic family rhythms—sleep, nutrition, and time outside[21:30] When it may be time to seek outside help[22:30] Why moms often become the emotional safe place for kids—and how dads can step in too[25:00] An encouragement for overwhelmed parents: you are not aloneResources Mentioned📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Report (Barna Group)https://www.barna.com/mental-health/📖 You on Purpose — Dr. Stephanie ShackelfordDon’t Miss Out!This is a two-part conversation.Today we explored the research behind supporting parents and caregivers. Next week, we’ll move into practical ways families can begin building healthier rhythms and support systems at home.If this episode encouraged you:• Subscribe so you don’t miss Part 2• Leave a review on Apple or Spotify• Share this episode with another parent who may need encouragementAnd as always, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love to hear how you’re implementing these ideas in your own family.You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

What does it actually look like to build a tech-wise home in real life?In Part 2 of our conversation on Smart Tech Use, Andy and Kelly sit down with Rachel Medefind, Director of the Institute for Family-Centered Healing & Health at the Christian Alliance for Orphans.Rachel holds a Master of Science in Psychology and Neuroscience of Mental Health from King’s College London, with a focus on children who have experienced early adversity, and is the author of When There Is Crisis. She is also a bio mom, foster mom, and adoptive mom raising five children ranging from teens to young adults.Rachel shares how her family built rhythms over time — not overnight — to protect what matters most. From delaying smartphones to creating screen-free mornings and evenings, she offers a hopeful, practical vision rooted in one foundational idea:Technology decisions must flow from your family’s values — not fear.If you’ve ever thought, “We’re too far gone,” this episode will remind you: it’s never too late to reset.Episode Highlights[08:00] Why parents feel overwhelmed — and how fear can paralyze leadership[11:30] Starting with your family’s “big rocks” before setting tech rules[15:30] Why parents’ device habits must change first[17:45] Delaying smartphones and matching tools to actual needs[19:30] Having teens write and sign their own phone agreements[20:00] Screen-free mornings: prayer, chores, movement before devices[22:30] No devices in bedrooms and protecting sleep[24:30] Baby steps vs. drastic resets — how to make meaningful change[27:00] Why technology is a spiritual formation issue, not just a behavior issue[34:00] Life beyond screens — from reading aloud to 25 days on the John Muir TrailResources Mentioned📖 When There Is Crisis — Rachel Medefind📖 The Anxious Generation — Jonathan Haidt📖 You on Purpose — Dr. Stephanie Shackelford📖 The Common Rule — Justin Whitmel Earley🌐 Christian Alliance for Orphanshttps://cafo.orgDon’t Miss Out!If this episode encouraged you:Subscribe so you don’t miss upcoming conversationsLeave a review on Apple or SpotifyShare this episode with another parent navigating the digital worldAnd as always, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram — unless you’re on a fast. 😉You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

Are smartphones really that big of a deal… or is this just another cultural panic?Is the concern over smartphones and Gen Z mental health just more noise — or is something truly different?In this first episode of Season 2 of It Takes a Family, Andy and Kelly sit down with researcher and author Dr. Stephanie Shackelford to examine what the data actually says about technology and the rising mental health crisis among Gen Z.This season is built on groundbreaking research conducted with the Barna Group, exploring why anxiety, depression, and loneliness have increased so dramatically among today’s teens and young adults.Dr. Shackelford shares hopeful, research-backed starting points for parents who feel overwhelmed — including two simple boundaries that can make a measurable difference:• No screens at family meals• No devices in bedrooms overnightIf you’ve ever thought, “The ship has sailed,” this episode will remind you: it’s never too late to reset rhythms in your home.This conversation kicks off our first Season 2 theme: Smart Tech Use — helping families create intentional tech-free spaces that foster connection, identity, and resilience.Episode Highlights[05:00] The mental health spike that correlates with smartphone adoption[08:00] “Technology is designed to foster obsession.”[10:00] Two research-backed starting points: no screens at meals, no screens in bedrooms[13:00] Why even a phone on the table reduces relational attunement[16:00] The powerful impact of removing phones from the bedroom — for parents too[17:50] Time vs. type of screen use: why communal viewing differs from scrolling[19:00] Is this just another cultural panic?[21:00] Walking as wise in a digital age[23:00] Why it’s never too late to reset boundaries[27:00] The church as a sacred, screen-free refuge[29:00] Teens actually want help being on their phones lessResources Mentioned📊 Gen Z Mental Health & Well-Being Report (Barna Group)Download the free report here:https://www.barna.com/mental-health/📖 The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt📖 You on Purpose by Dr. Stephanie Shackelford📖 The Common Rule by Justin Whitmel EarleyDon’t Miss Out!If this episode encouraged you, challenged you, or gave you a starting point:Subscribe so you don’t miss Part 2Leave a review on Apple or Spotify (it helps other parents find hope)Share this episode with another parent navigating the digital worldAnd as always, connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love to hear how you’re implementing tech-free rhythms in your own family.You don’t have to navigate modern parenting alone.Let’s move from desperation to hope — together.

The holidays are here, and with them comes an intense mix of joy, stress, and sky-high expectations. Why do the holidays amplify existing family conflicts and tension? And how can parents navigate that pressure without sacrificing their sanity or their peace?Hosts Andy and Kelly bring back Molly Hughes to tackle the tough topic of managing holiday stress. Molly dives into why we feel the intense pressure to create a "picture-perfect" Christmas and offers the crucial distinction between holding onto hopes and managing expectations. Most importantly, she teaches us the Bagel Method—a simple, powerful exercise to help you identify what you can control (your self) and what you cannot (everyone else's behavior and happiness).Episode Highlights[05:20] The holiday "Would You Rather" challenge: Kidz Bop vs. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.[05:50] Why Molly would rather have a full-blown food fight than cold shoulders and awkwardness.[08:00] Why the holidays intensify stress and conflict in families, and the impact of intensified grief.[09:00] Identifying your family's unique pressure points (like overstimulation, political sensitivity, or grief) and planning sensory breaks for them.[12:15] Why parents feel so invested in creating a "picture-perfect" holiday—and the reasons behind that behavior.[14:15] The crucial Bagel Method exercise: drawing the inner circle (what I can control) versus the outer circle (what I cannot control) and how to apply it to holiday dinner.[21:00] Practical, stress-reducing ideas: bringing a football for family outside time and simple gift-giving solutions.[32:00] The final lesson on boundaries: A boundary is about what I will do, not what I will make someone else do.[35:00] Why no one can break your boundary, and how following through builds integrity.Don’t Miss Out!Want more? Subscribe so you're notified of the next release!Join the conversation! Follow It Takes a Family on Facebook and Instagram, and let us know your thoughts or topics you'd like to hear about.Help us reach more parents!If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave us a review to help other families find us.Resources MentionedConcept: The Bagel Method (attributed to Dr. John Gottman)

In this highly practical bonus episode, hosts Andy and Kelly bring back John Cunnings (Boys' Program Director) to finish unpacking the five-step process behind the Choice & Consequence model. This is the bedrock of the structured side of the Nurture & Structure approach, designed to replace a parental posture of control with one of loving training.John reviews the initial steps and then dives deep into the most challenging parts: allowing the child's choice and consistently giving the consequence. He also provides indispensable language tools to help parents shift away from controlling phrases and offers encouragement that plodding with consistency—even if you're only "batting .400"—will yield deep, lasting character change in your children.Episode Highlights[01:10] A reminder of the foundational concept: Nurture and Structure work in concert to train children, not control them.[06:00] Reviewing Steps 1-3: Identify your conviction, identify related behaviors, and set up choices and consequences that are simple, reasonable, and enforceable.[07:42] Step 4: Allow the Choice. Why giving your child permission to make the wrong choice is the hardest, yet most necessary, part of training.[08:20] A practical example of the process: addressing yelling with a consequence like "porch time."[11:30] Step 5: Give the Consequence. Why consistent follow-through is the "icing on the cake" that builds security and trust in your relationship.[14:00] How many convictions should you focus on at once? The wisdom of plodding and starting small.[21:10] Critical Language Tools: John provides examples of controlling language (words to avoid) and choosing statements to fill in the blanks.[23:40] Applying the model to different ages: using simple language like "fun vs. not fun" for younger kids and setting clear, time-based boundaries for older kids who crave autonomy.Don’t Miss Out!Want more? Subscribe so you're notified of the next release!Join the conversation! Follow It Takes a Family on Facebook and Instagram, and let us know your thoughts or topics you'd like to hear about.Help us reach more parents!If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave us a review to help other families find us.Resources MentionedBook: Choosing to Train by Greg Smith and Candice CouchBook: Setting loving limits and boundaries. Boundaries with Kids by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John TownsendBook: Love and logic – Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline M.D. and Ph.D. Charles FayBook: Connecting and Correcting – The Connected Parent by Karyn Purvis PhD and Lisa QuallsRelated Episode: Nurture & Structure Part 1Downloadable: please email us at [email protected]

This episode brings together the five core elements of whole family healing from Eagle Ranch—Your Story, Family Dynamics, Nurture & Structure, Child's Unique Gifts, and Community—and frames them through the lens of the Gospel.Hosts Andy and Kelly welcome Davon Stack, a seasoned ministry leader from Perimeter Church, to discuss what "Gospel Parenting" truly means. Davon breaks down the powerful, simple truth of the Gospel ("We had it all. We lost it all. He did it all. We get it all.") and shares how relying on that truth can transform a parent's sense of helplessness into hope and reliance. He also shares a deeply personal story of how caring for his mother-in-law in her final days provided a profound, practical opportunity to teach his children love and forgiveness in a real-life crisis.Episode Highlights[01:55] Davon shares his family of origin, marked by extreme hospitality and a rich family legacy of service.[08:45] The clear and concise definition of the Gospel and why recognizing "we lost it all" leads to true gratitude and reliance.[11:50] How the Gospel fundamentally shifts parenting from relying on personal strength to relying on the power of the Holy Spirit.[14:20] A tangible example of Gospel Parenting: Davon's family navigates the challenge of caring for his mother-in-law through early-onset Alzheimer's and how it taught their children kindness and forgiveness.[21:20] The difference between surface-level "Christian Parenting" (checking boxes) and Gospel Parenting (relying on a redeemed identity).[25:55] Davon shares words of hope for listeners who are struggling, pointing them to the power and promises already given to us through Christ.[28:15] Why it's vital to rely on the community of God's people and seek out those who are honestly relying on a greater power.Don’t Miss Out!Want more? Subscribe so you're notified of the next release!Join the conversation! Follow It Takes a Family on Facebook and Instagram, and let us know your thoughts or topics you'd like to hear about.Help us reach more parents!If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave us a review to help other families find us.Resources MentionedScripture References: 2 Peter 1:3-4, Acts 2:42-47Church: Perimeter Church

Every child is an image bearer of a creative God, and discovering their unique gifts is one of the most rewarding parts of parenting. In this episode, hosts Andy and Kelly talk with Wade Pearce, Senior Director of Program at Eagle Ranch, about how to stop trying to control your kids' future and start becoming their greatest talent agent.Wade, an adoptive and foster parent who has welcomed over 40 children into his home, shares hard-won lessons on recognizing a child's passions, the danger of parental anxiety, and why your only vision for your child should be a healthy relationship. He breaks down the Circle of Courage philosophy and explains why embracing your child's interests—no matter how intense or fleeting—is the key to fostering mastery and a sense of self-worth.Episode Highlights[01:36] Wade shares his upbringing, his journey as an educator, and his experience as an adoptive and foster parent of over 40 children.[03:45] Wade explains the concept of the "baby hero" role and his personal experience with striving to please his parents.[10:10] The key to stewarding a child's life: becoming a detective or a talent agent to discover what makes them tick.[14:15] Wade introduces the Circle of Courage and the four things every child needs to thrive: belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity.[17:58] Why getting out of the mode of living vicariously through your children is crucial for their long-term success.[19:00] Examples of following and supporting a child's mastery, from fishing to buying and selling shoes.[25:50] How parental anxiety is the enemy and why becoming a non-anxious presence is the key to breaking cycles of control.Don’t Miss Out!Want more? Subscribe so you're notified of the next release!Join the conversation! Follow It Takes a Family on Facebook and Instagram, and let us know your thoughts or topics you'd like to hear about.Help us reach more parents!If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave us a review to help other families find us.Resources MentionedConcept: Circle of Courage (from Reclaiming Youth International)Author: Dallas Willard

Do you really know what motivates your child, or are you projecting your own expectations onto them? In this insightful episode, hosts Andy and Kelly talk with Dr. Fred Haselden (Director of Education) and Jennifer Smith (Day School Program Counselor) about the critical difference between the gifts you want your child to have and the unique gifts God has actually given them.They share core concepts from psychology, including how your child's nervous system is always choosing between connection and protection, and how to identify their personal triggers and currency. Dr. H candidly shares his "dentist retirement plan" story—a perfect, albeit intense, example of how parental expectations can overshadow a child's true interests.Episode Highlights[05:12] Dr. H and Jennifer introduce themselves and share their personal family stories.[06:00] Dr. H shares his personal and humorous story of "brainwashing" his daughter into thinking she wanted to be a dentist and the powerful lesson he learned about controlling expectations.[11:30] Why many parents struggle with having preconceived notions and expectations for their kids.[12:30] Jennifer explains the difference between a child's nervous system being in protection mode versus connection mode.[16:00] Dr. H and Jennifer define and give examples of a child's trigger and their currency (what motivates them).[19:30] How to implement structured "rhythms of connection"—like a no-screens family dinner or the "Rosebud, Thorn" exercise—to build security.[25:50] A discussion of why building strong community is essential, especially for adoptive parents, when facing the challenge of a child's active rejection.[28:40] The wisdom of sowing good seeds and praying for the harvest, focusing on your efforts, not the outcome.Don’t Miss Out!Want more? Subscribe so you're notified of the next release!Join the conversation! Follow It Takes a Family on Facebook and Instagram, and let us know your thoughts or topics you'd like to hear about.Help us reach more parents!If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave us a review to help other families find us.Resources MentionedBook: Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors by Robyn Gobbel

Community is a lifeline, especially when parenting gets hard. In this episode, co-host Andy Nelson gets vulnerable and shares his personal story of moving from a strong, stable community to a new city where he and his wife, Emily, felt isolated and alone.Andy shares how this experience of being without a "safety net" forced them to intentionally build a new community and how this journey shaped their family's values. He also tells the powerful story of a season of hardship when their community stepped in to help, and how this act of being cared for redefined his understanding of what it means to both give and receive help.Episode Highlights[01:30] Andy shares his background, growing up in a close-knit, loving community and family.[04:00] Andy's story of moving 600 miles away from home and the shock of finding himself without a community.[07:00] The pivotal moment when a small act of kindness helped transform their family's isolated season.[08:50] How Andy and Emily intentionally built a new community and how their different personalities contributed to that.[14:00] Why building a "deep" community is more important than having "thin" relationships.[21:10] The power of being a "helper" and how a season of needing help taught him to receive from others.[23:00] The profound impact of community on family health and well-being.Don’t Miss Out!Want more? Subscribe so you're notified of the next release!Join the conversation! Follow It Takes a Family on Facebook and Instagram, and let us know your thoughts or topics you'd like to hear about.Help us reach more parents!If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave us a review to help other families find us.Resources MentionedBook: You Are What You Love by James K.A. SmithNon-profit: Promise 686

Gen Z is the most connected generation in history, but they're also experiencing an unprecedented epidemic of loneliness. In this episode, hosts Andy and Kelly talk with Dr. Stephanie Shackelford, a Senior Fellow at the Barna Group, about her research on teen mental health and the critical role that community plays in our well-being.Dr. Shackelford shares why virtual connection often leads to thin, surface-level relationships and why in-person community is vital for a healthy family. You'll learn about the profound impact of church attendance on mental health, the value of intergenerational relationships, and practical ways to model and build real, meaningful connections for your children.Episode Highlights[01:30] Dr. Shackelford shares her background and family life at Eagle Ranch, complete with a Great Pyrenees and 80 chickens.[02:45] A broad overview of her research on the Gen Z mental health crisis and the six main contributors.[04:20] Why the "most connected" generation is also the loneliest and the difference between thin and thick community.[07:00] The powerful role of the church in fostering mental well-being and a sense of purpose.[14:00] The importance of intergenerational relationships, and why every youth needs five key older adults in their life.[15:30] Practical ways for parents to help their kids practice community, from putting away screens to serving together.[21:00] The value of being transparent with your family and modeling the kind of community you want to build.Don’t Miss Out!Want more? Subscribe so you're notified of the next release!Join the conversation! Follow It Takes a Family on Facebook and Instagram, and let us know your thoughts or topics you'd like to hear about.Help us reach more parents!If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave us a review to help other families find us.Resources MentionedGuest: Dr. Stephanie Shackelford - stephshackelford.comResearch Report: The Barna Group https://www.barna.com/mental-health/

Some parents care for a few children; others care for 39. In this episode, hosts Andy and Kelly talk with John and Cassie Adams, a couple with a big heart for children, who have welcomed dozens of kids into their home through fostering and house-parenting.John and Cassie share how their wildly different family upbringings and personality types have influenced their approach to parenting. They discuss their experience with a "strong-willed" child and how it pushed them to discover the true balance of nurture and structure. This episode is a powerful conversation about finding your own parenting balance, leaning into outside support, and why sometimes, taking a step back is the most loving thing you can do.Episode Highlights[01:10] John and Cassie share their family of origin stories and introduce their family of three biological children, and the 39 they've cared for in 15 years of marriage.[04:20] The motivation behind their decision to step into foster care and how their purpose has evolved over time.[08:55] The Adams discuss discovering the balance of nurture and structure and how it's not a one-size-fits-all solution for every child.[13:00] Cassie shares a personal story of taking a step back from "grade monitoring" and how it created a healthier family dynamic.[16:50] John and Cassie explore the difference between training and controlling, and how sometimes you have to let go to let them learn.[20:00] Advice for single parents and why seeking outside community and counseling is so important.[24:00] The first steps to take if you're a parent who feels like what you're doing isn't working.Don’t Miss Out!Want more? Subscribe so you're notified of the next release!Join the conversation! Follow It Takes a Family on Facebook and Instagram, and let us know your thoughts or topics you'd like to hear about.Help us reach more parents!If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave us a review to help other families find us.

It's one of the most practical and powerful tools in parenting: nurture and structure. But what does it actually look like in real life? In this episode, hosts Andy and Kelly are joined by John Cunnings, the Boys' Program Director at Eagle Ranch, who has over 20 years of experience applying this model in real homes.John helps us understand the importance of balancing love and connection (nurture) with boundaries and rules (structure). He shares how the choice and consequence model is a fundamental tool for this, and he gives parents a step-by-step guide to implement it. Get ready for some deeply practical advice, including a "400 parenting average" analogy and the power of a simple apology.Episode Highlights[03:00] John shares his background as a military kid and a single parent raising two girls.[05:00] Defining the essential balance of nurture and structure in parenting.[06:30] Introducing the choice and consequence model and its foundation in training, not control.[08:00] The difference between discipline and training, and how one leads to true growth.[12:30] How to set up a choice and consequence system in your own home in three practical steps.[16:00] An explanation of "porch time" and how it creates opportunities for connection and reflection.[26:00] The "400 parenting average" and why you only need to be right 40% of the time to have a positive impact.Don’t Miss Out!Want more? Subscribe so you're notified of the next release!Join the conversation! Follow It Takes a Family on Facebook and Instagram, and let us know your thoughts or topics you'd like to hear about.Help us reach more parents!If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave us a review to help other families find us.Resources MentionedBook: What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry

No family is a perfect mix. In fact, most are beautifully complicated. In this episode, hosts Andy and Kelly are joined by John and Julie Price, a couple with uniquely different upbringings who came together to raise their own sons and care for hundreds of boys at Eagle Ranch.John, the middle child of 13 kids from a dairy farm, and Julie, a last-born missionary kid who grew up in Brazil, open up about the challenges and rewards of their family and house-parenting journey. They share deeply personal stories about learning to relinquish control, embracing vulnerability, and the transformative power of a simple apology. This episode is a powerful reminder that every family has a dynamic to navigate and that authenticity is the key to building real connection.Episode Highlights[01:10] John and Julie introduce themselves, their radically different backgrounds, and their roles at Eagle Ranch.[06:20] How their diverse family histories prepared them for a life of working with children and families.[11:00] Julie's personal story of learning to love without control while house-parenting seven teenage boys.[17:00] The powerful impact of apologizing to your children and teaching them to ask for forgiveness.[21:00] Practical tips for parents of adolescent boys, including why they crave respect and authenticity.[25:50] A heartwarming story of a son's vulnerability and a powerful conversation on trust.Don’t Miss Out!Want more? Subscribe so you're notified of the next release!Join the conversation! Follow It Takes a Family on Facebook and Instagram and let us know your thoughts or topics you'd like to hear about.Help us reach more parents!If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave us a review to help other families find us.

What does it really mean to have a healthy family dynamic? In this episode, we're joined by licensed professional counselor and family expert, Phillip Costa, who helps us uncover the powerful ways our history and our day-to-day lives shape our families.Philip shares how personal trauma, loss, and even birth order can influence our parenting in ways we're not always aware of. He introduces the powerful concept that what's not revealed is not healed, and gives listeners a clear path to begin addressing their own family dynamics. You'll also learn the difference between training and controlling your child, and why giving yourself grace is the first step toward creating lasting change.Episode Highlights[01:10] Philip introduces himself and shares his personal story of loss, adoption, and being a blended family.[03:10] Defining family dynamics and how they impact every family, regardless of its unique makeup.[05:50] How to begin identifying your own family's dynamics and the importance of being aware of them.[12:20] Philip explains why what's not revealed isn't healed and how unresolved issues can get transferred to your children.[14:15] An explanation of the difference between training your child and controlling them.[23:00] Philip's top three pieces of advice for parents feeling overwhelmed and seeking to create change.Resources MentionedBook: What Happened to You? by Bruce PerryConnect with us! Follow us on Facebook and Instagram to share your story or suggest a topic for a future episode.Help us grow! If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review to help other families discover our podcast.

In last week’s episode, we learned from an expert about how our childhoods and family history can impact our parenting. This week, our co-host Kelly Brewer gets vulnerable and shares her own deeply personal story of how her upbringing shaped her journey as a parent.In this powerful episode, Kelly dives into her "happy, carefree" childhood and reveals the underlying emotional challenges she faced. She candidly shares her own moments of desperation, poor choices, and self-loathing, and how a surprising moment of grace changed her life forever. This episode is a raw, real, and inspiring testimony that no one is beyond hope.Episode Highlights:[01:39] Kelly shares her family of origin story as the baby of the family.[03:58] The hidden truth beneath a "happy-go-lucky" childhood.[07:22] How seeking happiness in the wrong places led to a deep, dark spiral.[12:28] The breaking point and a pivotal moment of finding grace and forgiveness.[18:08] A crisis in adulthood that led to a new season of healing and growth.[21:07] How Kelly’s parenting changed as she began to address her own history and patterns.[25:50] An encouraging reminder: It’s never too late to parent your kids or find healing.Don’t Miss Out!Want more? Listen to Part 1 of this discussion with our expert, Molly Hughes.Join the conversation! Connect with us on Facebook and Instagram and let us know your thoughts or topics you'd like to hear about.Help us reach more parents!If this episode helped you, please take a moment to leave us a review to help other families find us.

Do you ever feel like you're reacting to your kids in a way you never intended? You're not alone. Our own history and childhood experiences often shape our parenting more than we realize.In this powerful episode of It Takes a Family, hosts Andy and Kelly are joined by licensed professional counselor and dear friend, Molly Hughes. As a counselor at Eagle Ranch's Wing Center, Molly has seen firsthand how understanding your personal story is the first crucial step toward whole-family healing. She unpacks the core question: How does the family you grew up in impact the family you lead now?You’ll learn why it’s so important to explore your past, what a genogram (or family tree on steroids) can reveal about your family's patterns, and how birth order might be a key piece of your parenting puzzle.Don't miss a single episode!Subscribe to It Takes a Family and follow along each week as we dive in to bring hope and practical ways to heal.Episode Highlights:[01:10] Introducing our guest, Molly Hughes, and her experience at Eagle Ranch.[02:29] Molly shares her personal family story, from her childhood to her current family of eight, including twins and adopted children.[05:58] How important is it to understand your own personal history and story?[08:52] What is a genogram, and why is it a powerful tool for self-discovery?[11:51] Does birth order really matter, and how does it impact your personality and parenting style?[16:50] How to find introspection and begin exploring your story without a therapist.[21:20] A common family dynamic and the challenge of seeing ourselves clearly.[23:00] The science behind why your early childhood experiences matter.Links & Resources:Connect with us! We’d love to hear from you. Find us on Facebook and Instagram.Learn more about the work of Eagle Ranch at EagleRanch.org.If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review to help other families find our podcast!

Every parenting journey has its challenges, but sometimes it feels like we're experiencing more troubles than most. How do we navigate those struggles and find more health and healing for our families?Welcome to It Takes a Family, a podcast that helps take parenting from desperation to hope. In our very first episode, hosts Andy and Kelly introduce themselves and share the inspiration behind this show, which was born from the understanding that it truly takes a family to raise a family.We'll introduce our first season, which is dedicated to the whole-family approach of Eagle Ranch, a Christ-centered nonprofit that has helped thousands of families find connection and healing.Learn More:Explore Eagle Ranch's mission at www.eagleranch.org Get new episodes weekly by subscribing to the podcast!

Feeling alone in your parenting struggles? It Takes a Family helps take your parenting journey from desperation to hope. Join hosts Andy and Kelly each week as they share practical lessons and insights from experts and other parents who have navigated difficult family circumstances. This season, they’ll break down Eagle Ranch’s proven approach to whole-family healing, from setting healthy boundaries to understanding your child's unique story. You aren’t alone—let's find hope together.