Kagro in the Morning

Before heading into the weekend, there are a few minor issues we need to clear up. One: that weirdo Trump FEMA official is leaving. Which one? The one who teleported into a Waffle House, of course. How is he leaving? That we don't know, and it might not even be worth trying to guess, honestly. Oh, and remember the Shark Tank weirdo who was so sure that anyone opposing his plans for a mega data center in Utah just had to be a Chinese Communist Party front? Well, he's backing off of that one. Which is nice, I guess. Oh, oh, and remember that housing bill that both was and wasn't presented to the president for signature? Well, it's been presented. Again? Maybe? Oh, oh, oh, and remember Elise Stefanik? Well, we'll be rid of her for the time being, but MAGA weirdos are hoping to replace her with a different MAGA weirdo. Oh, oh, oh, oh, and remember the Reflecting Pool? It doesn't really matter if you don't, because it's whole history is going to be made up, anyway. Anyway, it turns out that the only contractor with real experience in dealing with it didn't want anything to do with Trump's plans for it. So they gave the job to Gomez Addams, instead. Looking ahead, at least on a story that's already got a long and checkered past, Todd Blanche and the DOJ might kinda sorta be in some trouble over the Epstein Files. But you know how that whole executive branch accountability thing goes. Though there are still some solid efforts being made at reviving the concept. It's all the more important, given that the leopards who ate the faces of the original "relitigate Watergate" champions are now looking to relitigate Watergate. Are you old enough to remember when ICE was spending like a drunken sailor, buying up every warehouse it could find and trying to "Whydontchajust" them into detention centers? Well, now they're trying to un-whydontchajust 'em (and pin the blame on Kristi Noem). One last thing to stow away for the weekend: the next blossoming scandal has dropped! Trump's looking to exploit LA28 Olympic organizers' need to stay on "the government's" good side by squeezing them for some kind of quasi-affiliated, pre-Olympics golf tournament at his LA club. That's not even a thing! But neither is remaining president while suffering from degenerative dementia.

David Waldman exorcised the audio gremlins plaguing yesterday's podcast, revealing that we had only one, not several Greg Dworkins calling in. (We kept the best one.) Donald K. Trump embarrassed, upstaged and kneecapped his fellow Republicans more than usual yesterday, taking the bipartisan bill on affordable housing hostage so that he could throw a number of snits at Senators trapped in the room with him. Outgoing Senator Bill Cassidy believed for just a moment that the "outgoing" addition to his title allowed him to be intelligent and courageous or something, but he was disabused of that notion shortly. Thus, relieved of testes and testiness, Gops tacoed their previous resolution, allowing Trump to declare more of his ever-popular wars. Meanwhile, Trump has been unable to save SAVE, so far saving democracy. Face-eating leopards have been discovered in the Persian Gulf. That's ok. In ten days, the housing bill will… drat, where did they put that darn housing bill? A Syracuse woman pointed out that Jonathan Ross was that ICE agent who executed Renée Good in her car months ago and that Jonathan Ross will probably never see justice. The Feds hate that being pointed out. Probably because Janathan Ross is their buddy. Gop Tom Kean was not abducted by aliens and cloned. See? He's right here, in a suit and tie, with his wife, smiling, in this doorway. Everything is fine. He will close the door now.

After a decade or so of tweaking, David Waldman is finally getting the hang of the KITM sound system! KITM listeners are the luckiest people on the face of this earth. There were more primaries, so Greg Dworkin stopped by for a while. (He probably would have anyhow, he kind of likes us.) Zohran Mamdanimentum rolled across New York, a huge success, which terrified Donald K. Trump, and of course, every Democratic smoke-blower across the nation. Darializa Avila Chevalier took out the chair of the Congressional Hispanic Caucus. Army veteran Cait Conley is now aiming for Mike Lawler. Swing voters are still mad at Gops about abortion and will be carrying that anger into the midterms, and beyond. Scammers goldrush to sham "progressive" super PACs Trump's name is off the Kennedy Center, and all over his cement swamp. Judges are blocking him here, there, everywhere. Gops join Dems to pass a resolution calling for an end to Trump's war with Iran. And look, Dems are doing something! OK… Donald is triggered. Prairieland is what happens when the weakest people are given absolute power. Dissidents are now receiving life sentences.

David Waldman shakes out some stories to clear the way for tomorrow's primary news. Donald K. Trump draws a strict line on pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. A strict line around himself. Donald might have a fat friend or two that take weight loss drugs, but everyone knows that he wouldn't be that one 79-year-old man Eli Lilly gave compassionate use access for a still unapproved weight loss drug. Trump is in better shape than any president, ever. Just look at him. 22 medical specialists – Twenty-two! – can't be wrong. A judge quashed subpoenas aimed at harassing Tim Walz, Keith Ellison, Jacob Frey and Kaohly Her in Minnesota. Meanwhile, Trump squashed an investigation into his clemency grant to a convicted fraudster. Trump's SAVE voter surveillance and harassment program has been deemed illegal. Sometimes you just have to force-feed Trump his tacos. Over at the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts, the Donald F. Trump memorial tarpaulin of shame is still on display. Motions are being filed to remove it, even though it isn't really hiding anything. Peter Thiel secret society members Corey Booker, Ted Cruz, Elon Musk and others have been revealed. Some societies aren't as secret. Jasmine Crockett and James Talarico are not yet on the same team.

David Waldman took another road trip! This time he was FEELING SWELL on the east coast, at what they call ORMOLU. Shop at both, only two more shopping months before David and my birthdays! Greg Dworkin describes how Trump losing his war in Iran didn't just make him a loser, it made everybody losers… but mostly Trump. In other loser news, Ukraine is turning Crimea from an asset into a Russian liability. Keir Starmer won election in a landslide, now he's not even fit to change Larry the Cat's litterbox. Perhaps Andy Burnham will be. Tulsi Gabbard's guru was less Maharishi, more Rasputin. Trump's DOJ has indicted 15 anti-ICE protesters for being anti-ICE protesters. ICE concentration camp Delaney Hall confirms everyone's worst fears, inside and out. The difference between "America 250" and "Freedom 250" is that Trump only gets a cut from one of them, so far. Antifa ninjas evaded National Mall surveillance to gouge a patriotic 250-foot gash into Trump's cement swamp. Trump has ordered jail time for every child who touches pond scum… strangely, never vice versa though… As they say in Italy, "Trump è un coglione". Actually, they say that pretty much everywhere. Believe it or not, there might be a few even worse, right there in his administration. Leopards can't keep up.

Beach day! Well, sort of. I don't think the weather is entirely ready to cooperate, but I'll be nearby the beach in case the weather is better on Saturday. But between packing for the trip and hoping to watch a little World Cup action, I couldn't get a new show recorded for you. Still, I think this episode from one year ago may be instructive, in that it takes us back to the first round of the Trump 2.0 armed conflict with Iran. So it's a chance to see it all coming, which might not quite be uplifting, but like I said, hopefully instructive. Here's how Scott Anderson described the happenings from that morning: David Waldman is back on the air again, LIVE! Greg Dworkin returns, with mega polls! No, not Trump's high poles, but Trump's low polls, along with the latest takeaways from the KITM World Headquarters Primaries… well, Virginia primaries, same difference. Will TikTok TACO Trump chicken out with Iran? We're talking about millions of actual lives here… so maybe not. MAGA thought they opposed such things as "forever wars", but they'll get over it, like their opposition to Russia. It's easy to do when you think about it, and even easier when you don't. You'd think that making conspiracy theorists put up or shut up would put them in some sort of bind, but these are a spunky and resilient group of whackadoodles. Confronted with a tragically factual Christian nationalist assassin, they expeditiously took reality lemons and turned them into MAGA lemonade. Chinese license plates and thousands of cards stole the 2020 election for Bernie Sanders. Not many people know that. Donald K. Trump is objectively bad for America. Journalists are hesitant to point that out, lest their network soapboxes be turned into real ones. Still, with protests, it pays to not give MAGA a seed of truth to roll their dung around. Nonviolence is the way. Then later, we'll impeach the bastard, maybe this term, maybe his third or fourth. Four execs from the top tech companies in Silicon Valley have joined the Army Reserve but probably won't be putting boots down in Isfahan soon or even in the next two weeks. They were of course invited because of their special technological genius. NYC tycoons are saying "There goes the neighborhood" if Zohran Mamdani moves in.

David Waldman delivers us to the weekend! His weekend, maybe even yours! Greg Dworkin is in and out right on schedule to catch the Knicks Parade and pick up his souvenir trashcan. Fat, evil, and stupid Is no way to go through life, and doesn't win many wars either. Unless we attacked Iran in order to provide them with new infrastructure, missiles, nuclear materials and terrorist support, you even might say that we actually "lost" Donald K. Trump's Iran war. Worst yet for neoconservatives, we might not get to attack Iran again for a little while. As Donald might say, we "pretty much shot our load"… Of course, the quicker we rearm Iran, the sooner we can nuke them. This is definitely not what Bibi Netanyahu ordered. Ben Shapiro blames the mean boys for abusing our poor dotard. On the bright side, Trump has been able to keep Ronald Reagan rolling in his grave for more than a decade now. For either one, war crimes don't seem that bad when their memory only goes back minutes. Trump signing off on his Iran war between dessert courses in Versailles might have made it harder for him to taco on it later, but Donald is always up for a challenge, unless it's challenging. The Palace Guard could have helped Trump get up that flight of stairs. Mexico? Cuba? Canada? Greenland? Intestinal or arterial blockage? What will Trump conquer next? Donald probably misses those days when it was just him and Jeff, some roofies and a checkbook. Tacoing out of Iran will be easy compared to the midterms. MAGAs and Gops are getting tired of each other. Dan Sullivan doesn't want to be associated with Dan Sullivan. Urban voters face voting hurdles that just irritate election reporters. Across the pond, Wallace and Gromit head to their polls to rotate out their latest PM.

David Waldman boosts us over the hump of the week. Greg Dworkin's raft o' stories™ include some of his tookaways from yesterday's primaries in Georgia, Alabama and Oklahoma. Georgia had several run-offs, and Donald K. Trump threatens to rally there until someone drops from heatstroke. Trump needs Bill Pulte to dig some more skulls before Jay Clayton takes over. Every department with 3 initials or more will be tasked with rigging and throwing elections. Trump evades assassination attempts about as often as he ends wars. This time, a couple of Nazi accelerationists were thinking of shooting up Trump's UFC shindig but did not count on FBI Director Clouseau showing up. Kash Patel caught them in a steel trap just like the Broadview Six. The DC pool boys dumped every bottle they could find out in the shed into Trump's new cement swamp but will be needing to swing by the store for a few thousand more. Read the 14-point draft agreement between the US and Iran before Trump does! Take your time, Trump will not be getting around to reading anything. "Agreements" are for the other side! Anyhow, Donald is too busy making love to make war. Dotard Donald dodders through the G7. French President Macron invited Trump over to Versailles, where it is hoped that Trump might get to experience the real thing. The Trump family business will now be FDIC insured up to… well, what you got?