Kiki Quest

Will and Kelsey are here to talk about pets! Kelsey gives a brave yet valid opinion regarding dog ownership, and we try to suss out which pet would be worse: a resurrected raptor or a regular bird? (It's the bird.)

We are rip-roarin' and ready to go this week! After seeing some bad improv and taking care of a sick dog, Will and Kelsey are ready to dive into the Legend of Zelda mythos as we plan the live-action film adaptation. (Yes, we did cast Timothee Chalamet as Link. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US???)

You arrive at the brim of a vast caldera. Smoke is billowing from this earthly cloaca, sporting ash for plumage. Suddenly, impossibly two great scaly wings arise through the grey. With the shaking of a thousand hungry babes, a dragon has advanced to stand before you. Now tell me, traveler.. would you smash or pass that dragon? Join Kelsey and Will this week as they discuss the finer points of a coffee enema and discover the consequences of saying "Jamie Lee Curtis" 3 times fast. Hale and well met!

Calling all M-Cuties! This week, Will and Kelsey delve into a world they know almost nothing about: the Marvel Cinematic Universe. They discover the best billionaire to play Tony Stark, explain why the green M&M is SO sexy, and figure out what EXACTLY the thing was that Angela Bassett did. They also talk about eggs for a little bit, if that does anything for you.

Do you have the winter blues? Do you sit at a chair with your knees to your chin as you watch the snow fall praying for the night to sweep you into blissful unawareness? Becauseeeeee LOL SAME. Will and Kelsey formally invite you to bemoan your woes and dredge up some spicy trauma. Come commiserate with us, sweet ones.

G4 \9+rab some Nyquil and get to chuggin', because this week, Will and Kelsey are sick! But that's not going to stop them from pitching the perfect Fantasy Frasier Fusion show, doing impeccable New Zealand accents, and introducing the newest addition to the KQ Canon: Pulcherina, the Would You Rather Warlock.

Street lights flicker. It's midnight. Before you lies the crumpled form of a man. Is he smiling? He beckons you forward with a mangled finger. He’s fallen, and he can’t get up. Upon closer inspection you find it’s the famous chocolatier the papes are all talking about. He stands, stacking each vertebra on the next. Then suddenly, a backflip. Another backflip. It was all a ruse. The factory’s open. The podcast factory. Come on in and listen. We’re doing fantasy casting, y’all!

What's behind her back? Why, it's another stimulating yet soothing serving of Kiki Quest! Therein, you'll find the answers to the following questions: How many stars out of five would we rate each other as roommates? How would one have sex with the space-time continuum? Can we list three real anime tv shows? And what the FUCK is behind her BACK???

Jingle jangle jongle, what’s that sound? It’s the Holiday Yeti, coming down the mountain in his Zamboni to punish us for our sins! Just kidding, it’s only Will and Kelsey. This year, not only do we put Christmas on trial, but we also save it. You’re welcome. Now shut up and drink your nog! I love you. I’m sorry I yelled.

Will and Kelsey are back after nearly drowning in a sea of cardboard boxes and logistical nightmares! Moving to a new place is the most stressful process invented by mankind. We're here to tell you why that is AND what to do about it AND how to prevent a slug uprising. That last one is actually pretty time-sensitive. Wait, is that a slime trail over there? The slugfolk cometh! RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!

Looking to be blown away by podcast excellence? Your search ends here. We're chatting corn. We're talking stale bread. We're considering the very thread that ties humans together through shared experience: Megalomaniacs stealing our favorite things with vanity projects. Soup's on!

Wow, Halloween yesterday sure was fun! We can't wait for tomorrow's Halloween after today's Halloween comes to a close. Why not brighten up your never-ending, compulsory Halloween celebrations with a little Kiki Quest? Today we have some pretty niche Genie Humor along with a T-Swift update on TaylorWatch. She's on the move again and none of you are safe.

Gathering all ghosts, ghouls, ghoblins, goombas, girls, goils, gays, theys, and scary skeletons! The time has come once again for the High Holy Days of Halloween. Join us in prayer as we praise the Great Pumpkin, confess for the sins we plan on doing in the future, and pass the piss with our neighbors. The war on Halloween is over and the good guys won. Amen. (woOOOOooooOOOOOooo)

Come one, come all! This week we’ve got a show for big tops, big bottoms, bearded ladies, and teeny tiny itty bitty women. And stay tuned for the finale, where we prove that the partnership of Guillermo del Toro and Cate Blanchett wasn’t entirely fruitless.

We are BACK, baybee! This season is loosier, goosier, juicier, and still deeply problematic. We take our turn shitting on the legacy of Queen Elizabeth II before donning the mantle of the monster we hunted and sliding into a totalitarian dictatorship. Also we briefly discuss David Arquette WITHOUT referencing Courtney Cox so, y'know, big win for him.

What's that sound you hear? Well that's just the tinging of the lunchtime bell, alerting you to mealtime. And baby? It's time to FEAST. Open up your earholes little darlings, because when this tot leaves the station, it's got a one way ticket to dreamland. Knock knock - can't get in? We're the watchers of the wall, and there's no entry for rats. Listen to this episode!

This week we bring you only the cream of the cream! While you sit alone in a dark room for six more weeks waiting for our new season, here's a clip show to satiate your voracious appetite for podcasting excellence. Pour yourself a glass of bubbly, lock the doors to your home, tape your ears shut, and tell your stupid kids to stop asking for food, because this is the good shit, baby.

Have you been waiting in line and she done already done had herses? You might be entitled to financial compensation. Join Will and Kelsey as they address fracking allegations on Rupaul's behalf, redress wrongs of drag race herstory, and digress to the point of meandering. In the final season 1 episode, bear witness to the charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent required to become the #1 Drag Race Queen in the eyes of two fuckin dweebs.

Picture it: Sicily, 2022. Two beautiful young queers get together to record an episode of a podcast and end up talking more about Hippos and whatever "kiting" is than their actual topic. And the lesson we learned? Hell, I don't remember. Go bother somebody else.

What's that? NO TOPIC??? This week, Will and Kelsey swim in the easy, shallow waters of freeform chat show podcasting. Stay tuned for updates on queer period dramas, Taylor Swift's mercurial capacity for self-awareness, and whatever fucked-up shit straight people are watching right now.

This week, a funny thing happens on the way to the Frog Follies, so Will and Kelsey head merrily into the woods with George, Sweeney, and company, but not before the West Side Gypsy Assassins play a little night music. Do I hear a pacific overture????

FOOD FIGHT!!! This week on Kiki Quest, Will and Kelsey dive into the bowels of flavor and nutrition with some royal binge eating, a dramatic last-meal scenario, and (at least on Will's part) a LOT of hate for bloody mary's. Come hungry, come often.

Calling all sick, masochistic lions and stupid lambs! It's hunting season, and your local queer bloodsuckers have arrived for the feast. We're sinking our teeth into our horny past, famed communist Carlisle Cullen, and some rock hard fanfics. Welcome to the 385th annual Coven Cruise! Let's set sail and imprint on each other.

Get in, loser, we're watching Mean Girls! Will and Kelsey aren't regular moms... they're COOL moms. This week, they're discussing the terrors of being closeted in high school, why Rachel McAdams deserves an Oscar AND a Tony, and the proper etiquette for destroying someone else's chili dog.

Come up to the lab and see what's on the slab: it's accountability, metal hog appeal, and bowler-hat-wife-strife. Gird your loins, Hot Patooties, because this week we're Time Warping over to the Frankenstein Place! But first we have to get to our hearing at Camp Court. Order! We will have order in this court!!!

This week, we take a trip down the rabbit hole and we have some notes. After reviewing some zoning laws and auditing the Queen of Hearts, we decide to sit down and FINALLY turn this book into a movie. How has nobody done that before???

Hear ye, hear ye! By order of Queen Elizabeth the first of her name, Will and Kelsey are BACK. And it's time for some Shakespeare, baby. Let us talk of kings and things like Malvolio's anti-bullying campaign as well as the NAUGHTY Lady Macbeth. Pack up your porridge. It's time to ride.

Take everything you know about Kiki Quest, put it in a blender, lightly puree for three minutes, take it to the beach, and throw it into the sea, because this week we're doing The Ocean! Did you guys know that the five oceans are actually just one big ocean? ...Oh, you did? Never mind. Just listen to the episode.

This week, Will and Kelsey are off to see the Wizard! What's the deal with Oz healthcare? What does Glinda really want? And what's up with Scarecrow's face? ...Hey, y'all? What is up with Scarecrow's FUCKING FACE???

Come join us for one short gay in the Emerald City, cuz this week it's Wicked! Will and Kelsey dissect the nature of good and shevil while also managing to become time traveling murderers. GOOD FORTUNE, WITCH HUNTERS!!!

Good god, girl, let's-a-go! We're running and jumping all around the mushroom kingdom this week and our knees are blown out! Please make our sacrifice worth it.

Happy Hollandaise from Will and Kelsey! We got you an early episode as a present. It probably won't fit because your father went shopping without me, but don't mention it because he was VERY excited.

Prepare to engage, because this week we're doing Star Trek: The Next Generation! Together we'll try to figure out if Worf's head ridges are a sex thing or if they're DEFINITELY a sex thing.

This week's episode is stuffed to the GILLS with twists, turns, gambits, coups, moves, counter-moves, and (we CANNOT stress this enough) horniness. Will and Kelsey debate the sexiest chess piece, create an original HBO miniseries, and discover the long-lost Empress's Gambit.

This week, Will and Kelsey visit the wizarding world of TERFs! After a brief encounter with poor audio quality (it gets better!), they discuss the Hogwarts PTA and the classism inherent in the house system. Fun!

Will and Kelsey get spooky as they discuss pumpkin betrayal, Jigsaw's production budget, and how the Headless Horseman deals with fruit flies.

Ready to hear how horny Will and Kelsey are for the horses of Middle Earth? Horny enough to design a functioning horse typewriter. Dive in!