Living with dying

I make a return visit to the Greenacres Chiltern Living Memorial Park where I'm given a guided tour - on a rather windy day and on a noisy buggy - while I learn about the facilities in this beautiful, tranquil space particularly suited to anyone who wants a natural burial or simply to rest in nature at the end of their days.

To mark Hospice UK's Dying Matters Awareness Week, I talk to Jenni McDonagh who's keen to sing the praises of hospices after she witnessed wonderful care for her husband Nick at Thames Hospice.  Since his death, she's devoted herself to fund-raising for the hospice, and an amazing sanctuary for families of children with cancer, which she runs and funds with her family.

Dr Lucy Pollock is a consultant geriatrician who has loads of advice about ageing well. We talk to her here about how to plan for our old age and death -  and how to live healthily and well in the meantime.

John Adams is a fourth generation funeral director who successfully campaigned for Bereavement, Death and Dying to be on the school curriculum.  He shares his views here around why it’s so important for all of us to talk about death - and particularly for small children to learn about it at an early stage.

John Troyer has been around death and dying his entire life. and is currently Death Scholar at Large for the University of Bath. Sadly, his entire family of sister, mother and father all died within the last few years. Here, he shares how his own experience impacts his work and how his work impacts his personal grief.

I recorded the following interview with Hazel Cooper on 6 February 2026.  She had just been given a terminal diagnosis and bravely chose to speak out about this and her forthcoming death.  I'm very sad to report that Hazel died in late March.  But happy to say that she died at home, just as she wished, peacefully and surrounded by her three sons and her grand-daughter.  Thank you Hazel for sharing your wisdom, your faith and your positivity.

Anyone bereaved know how it helps to find someone to talk to - and not just anyone but someone who's been through a similar bereavement. Maria Bailey and her team of Grief Specialists understand this - and will help you find the right help for you.

Rhian Manning's charity 2wish hit the headlines recently when Prince William visited her home and was filmed becoming emotional during their chat. 2wish is designed to offer help and support to any family who've experienced the sudden and unexpected death of a child or young person aged under 25. As she did.

When Joseph Cavalli-Price's mother was dying, he managed to find a way of playing the piano to her while in the hospice.  This inspired him to set up Music in Hospices and he tells the story of his journey.

For this episode, we visit a Bereavement Group which meets once a month at the GreenAcres Chiltern Living Memorial Park.  Here people who've lost someone recently, or long ago, meet up to swap notes and share experiences and feelings.  And they share that with us.

Paul Calandrino's wife - novelist Cai Emmons - decided to end her life once the devastating disease ALS took its hold.  They live in Oregon so she was able to choose when to die.  And she wanted a record of her decline and death - so they made a documentary about it called Vanishing - A Love Story.  He tells us more here:

Jane Harris and her husband set up the Good Grief Project on the sudden, unexpected death of her son while he was away travelling.  She describes the devastating impact of this loss and how they now devote their lives to helping others who lose children.

Extraordinarily, this week we celebrate two years of this podcast, and we mark this by talking to the CEO of Thames Hospice, where I found so much help and support in the early days.   Dr Rachael de Caux is a passionate exponant of hospice care and here she talks about her work and unveils the huge range of care available today in her hospice.

Lucy Easthope is well known for her two best selling books - When the Dust Settles and Come What May - both detailing the wisdom from her years of expertise in the disaster and crisis management field. So I asked her what lessons for bereavement can be drawn from her wide experience?

Nina Nannar - ITV's Arts Editor - found her life turned upside down three years ago when her husband of 23 years, Steve, died after complications caused by kidney disease. She talks movingly here of how she managed to continue with her high-pressured, public facing role having been plunged suddenly into deep grief.

In many of these episodes we've learnt how finding people who've been through a very similar experience can be the best help in bereavement.  Here, Maxine and Marilyn who've both found help from their local bereavement group Oasis, describe how helpful t's been.

Dr Bill Webster - Grief Counsellor, and author and founder of The Grief Journey - is on tour in the UK at the moment presenting seminars on his experience of grief and loss and his advice for the bereaved and those who surround them.  He shares his long and wide experience with us.

Most people who are widowed will talk afterwards about how they flailed around, went numb, didn't know what they were doing or how they were feeling in the early stages of grief.  And yet it's at that time when decisions have to be made, action taken. Suzanne Elvidge drew on her own experience to set up the Widows Handbook and talks about it here.

Richard Chalmers and friends recognised a need in their community for bereavement support some 20 years ago.  Since then, they've been running regular support groups for the bereaved - where people come together to eat/drink and mostly chat.

Most of us who've not experienced death worry about what it's going to be like - whether that's our own death or that of our loved ones.  Doulas can help take fear of the unknown away for people at the end of life - and their families.  Catherine Beer joins us again to explain more here.

Lee Wakeham has a horrendous story to tell - of being abandoned by his mother aged two, of abuse during his first foster care placement, leading to years of offending and time in prison. So how did  he turn his life around after such huge losses? He now runs successful pasty-making business - HMPasties - that employs ex-offenders and has been taken under the Co-op's wing via its incubator scheme - the Apiary.

Louise Dillon's son died from an aggressive form of leukemia just after his 14th birthday.  Her own experience of how difficult it was returning to work, prompted her to offer training to businesses on how best to support grieving employees and how to give the bereaved a voice in how they'd like things to go.

Peter Cooper got in touch after listening to  episode 27 featuring his mother talking about the death of his father.  He mentioned that he felt there had been unacknowledged grief underlying his childhood and how it has left him unsure if he 'does' grief well.  We explore that together here.

Pippa and Grace were only 16 when their fathers died.  They didn't know each other at the time but met through the counselling offered by Thames Hospice and have since become firm friends.  Together they're passionate about raising money for the hospice so that others can receive the same care and help they value so highly.

Baroness Glenys Kinnock and Lord Neil Kinnock were together for 60 years - the most high profile political couple of their generation.  "It is like losing a limb" says Neil. "Glenys suffered and died of Alzheimer's in 2023 and the only real relief of Alzheimer's is that people slip away. They almost give you a rehearsal in loss.  It does mean that you suffer a real death and years before that a sort of death."

NOT talking about death and dying is 'a profound act of societal self-harm' says Toby Porter CEO of HospiceUK. We mark Dying Matters Awareness Week by talking to him about why we don't talk about it more, about hospice care, assisted dying and the recent loss of his mother.    

For Easter week, we're talking to the Reverend Sally Lynch about the Christian Church's approach to death and dying and the significance of Easter in the Church of England.

This is to mark Sudden Death Awareness Month in March.   Lucy Potter's 2 year old son Gibson didn't wake up one morning. She bravely, and eloquently describes here the horror of trying to administer CPR, of accompanying him in an ambulance, and of willing him to live while watching in stunned disbelief as medics tried and failed to revive him.          

Ginny Daly had to experience the heart-breaking ordeal of giving birth to her baby boy knowing that he'd died in the womb.  She talks openly of that nightmare, and how, years later, her mother's death exposed her to a completely different kind of grief.

Suicide is often described as cruel. This is not what our latest guest Fiona Duffy thinks. She describes here how her experience of suffering losses, including her brother to suicide, inspired her to go into the Funeral Care Business with the Co-op.

Mark Shepherd  performs an extraordinary service for the parents of babies who are still born, or who die soon after birth.  He visits them soon after their loss to take professional photos of their babies for a charity called RememberMyBaby. He tells us here how he got into this amazing work.        

Natasha's Foundation is launching a new campaign to provide education about allergies to children in primary schools around the country.  The foundation is named in memory of Natasha Ednan-Laperouse who suffered a fatal anaphylactic reaction in 2016 on her way to a holiday in France with her father and best friend.  She'd unwittingly eaten a baguette containing sesame seed bought at the airport.   After the inquest, her parents Tanya and Nadim campaigned for a new law, Natasha's law, so that all prepackaged food must list all ingredients with the 14 allergens in bold.  They went on to launch the Foundation which funds research into allergies and helps raise awareness.  Tanya Ednan-Laperouse OBE shares her story here.  

Gini Hackett, founder of @BucketListWishesUK, believes that encouraging her Mother to put together a bucket list helped prolong her life from the projected 3 months to 11, and describes some of the fun things they did together during that time

What to do when someone dies?  And how to find a funeral director who's going to respect our wishes and look after our loved one?  Most of us don't do any research before,  so we flounder around and pick the nearest, or the one we've heard of.   Rebecca Peach founded The Farewell Guide to address this.

As Christmas approaches, this can be such a difficult time for anyone who's bereaved.  Rachel Tegg of Child Bereavement Uk shares her experience of helping families with approaching any festive season and passes on advice she's gleaned.

We mark National Grief Awareness Week with a look behind the scenes at Mortlake Crematorium and find out exactly what happens to our loved ones' bodies once we say goodbye.        

How to talk to the dying? What to say? How to broach the subject...?   Advice here from Pastoral Care worker Catherine Beer.

Actress Wendy Craig shares what happened when her husband of 40 years - Jack Bentley - died of cancer, and how she picked up the pieces and made a good life for herself over the 30 following years.

This week's guest - Carolyn Mayling - has an amazing story of life and death. The death of her 11 year old daughter, followed some years later by the birth of a new baby when she was 54.   She's managed to rebuild a really fulfilling and worthwhile life after loss - as she describes in this conversation.

During Baby Loss Awareness week we ask what on earth to say to people who've lost a pregnancy or a baby - at whatever stage.  Di Stubbs of Child Bereavement UK says don't say 'Just call me - anytime'. Instead phone with questions like 'I'm in Sainsbury's can I pick anything up for you' or 'I've only got half a load of washing can I do yours', or 'I'm taking my kids to the park can I take yours? Something they can say an easy yes to without having to think'  

Things not to say to the bereaved:  'Think of all the memories', 'You were lucky to have him', 'She wouldn't want you to cry' - Shobha Modi shares her advice and talks about the Hindu approach to death and dying

People widowed young often struggle to find anyone who remotely understands which leaves them isolated and alone - which is where WAY (Widowed and Young) steps in.  Veronica Currie explains.

Have you got a will?  66 percent of people in the UK don't according to Solicitor Sophie Hamilton who thinks it's sad that people often leave it too late

Khalad Hussein explains the Muslim approach to death and dying and how Muslims believe that their  'time is written'

Nula Suchet's life changed dramatically when her husband James developed Dementia at the young age of 57.  She describes in detail his decline and death, but also tells an uplifting story of rebuilding her life afterwards and marrying broadcaster John Suchet

Rachel Tegg of Child Bereavement UK describes how play can help bereaved children express themselves - and how they offer help to bereaved parents and families as well.

Rosie Taylor Horler's father died when she was 21, leading to feelings that her Dad never really knew her as an adult, and that there were a whole load of conversations she never got to have.

How on earth do you cope with 10 miscarriages - including two sets of twins?  Maaike Gomm-Zaagsma shares her heart-breaking story and how it led on to her work in Funeralcare.

Kevin Toolis's book My Father's Wake describes in minute detail the Irish way of death and dying. 'The dead body is right there and you can look at it, touch it, kiss it, whatever you wish.'

Fernanda Reyes was inspired to start an online Farewell Planner called Evermore after her father died and she wished she'd been more prepared.  She's since trained as a Death Doula and describes that work here too: