Mental Health Decoded with Mordechai

Awareness 1: I feel very nervous asking a question on the radio because I stutter; I can speak easily with family, but with strangers it’s an ongoing struggle— I want to create an awareness to not let your disability hold you back.  Question 2: Feedback to a caller about IFS journaling: she shared that she started at a very low place about two years ago and has seen growth; Q: I see progress in the children I teach because of my effort and less about their motivation, so why does my therapist say that I deserve the credit for my own growth in therapy? Question 3: Over the past four years I’ve had four different therapists and haven’t felt a strong connection or that they bring out the best in me; I now have a life coach I really like—should I continue trying with a therapist or stick with the life coach? Question 4: I was told that an ASD diagnosis is not from the DSM—is that accurate? Question 5: I stopped seeing my therapist about 4.5 years ago, but I still feel like I haven’t fully moved on and often think about how much I miss her—is this normal, and how can I move forward? 

Question 1: How do you deal with being bullied, or if a child is being bullied? Question 2: I am trying to understand the process of transference therapy; it is very difficult, and I am having a hard time with it. Positive Feedback 3: This program has changed my life—I now understand people better, even those I previously struggled to get along with. Question 4: I am a retired bubby, and due to health issues I cannot make Pesach in my own home. I will be going to my children, but I am taking it very hard and feel like an extra. How can I still feel happy? Question 4B: When my children and grandchildren follow minhagim that are different from mine, I am sometimes able to stay quiet, but at other times I speak up and it ends up bothering both them and me—how should I handle this? Question 5: How can I support a frum relative of the opposite gender who is going through a difficult time? Question 6: I asked a rov a question and feel uneasy with the answer—how can I process that? 

Question 1 – In IFS, does the process always require tuning into bodily sensations? Question 2 – How would you explain vulnerability, and how can a person learn to express it? Question 3 – Last year before Pesach, MW mentioned the three F’s—fight, flight, and freeze. How might those responses show up during the stress of Pesach cleaning? Question 4 – Many people say it is healthy to be vulnerable and share openly. Why is that encouraged instead of keeping things private? Comment 5 – I believe it is very important to share with others and not keep everything inside. I also want to share that I was in an IOP, and in my experience it seemed designed more for people who are relatively healthy. 

Question 1 – I went through a situation 26 years ago, and now many of those feelings are resurfacing. I feel an urge to speak to that person again. I recently married off my youngest child three weeks ago and became a widow at a young age. Why might these old feelings be coming up now? Question 2 – When I am in relationships with people who are complicated or struggling, I often resent them and think, “Why can’t they just be healthy and present?” But when I shift my focus to myself—my needs and what I can control—it suddenly feels easier. Why does that work? Question 3 – With IFS, I sometimes have a hard time tuning in to my parts. Can a live demonstration help someone learn how to access their parts more easily? Question 4 – In IFS, when I acknowledged a part, it actually made the feelings stronger and the situation feel scarier. Can this happen in therapy? Question 5 – Someone told me that every therapy modality is perfect, and if it doesn’t work, the problem must be with the patient. Is that accurate, or can it be that a modality simply does not work well for a particular client? Question 6 – I have a strong fear of getting haircuts. (special needs person asking). 

Question 1 – What type of therapy is most effective for someone struggling with misophonia? Question 2 – I see a therapist who has not been consistent with keeping the scheduled session times. She does not offer a make-up time when the cancellation is inconvenient for her. I feel hurt and unimportant. How should I approach this situation with her? Question 3 – I went through a major crisis and relied heavily on a close friend for support. She later told me she wants to remain my friend but cannot be my therapist. After I continued reaching out and shared that I ended up in the emergency room, she felt I was putting guilt on her and became upset. How can I repair the relationship and rebuild the friendship? 

Question 1 – I have been reading the IFS journaling over the past few weeks (Date 2/16/25 program 2 (1297) question 3). The first time I called in, it was very difficult. That same part came up again, and it required a lot of work. I feel like I need quiet and at least two to three hours in order to really do the work properly. Is that normal? Question 2 – I have a question about attachment theory. I have a baby, and sometimes I do not always have the patience I would like to have with him, or I may leave him with a babysitter. Could that create attachment problems? Question 3 – I would like to share that after 15 years of dating, I finally got engaged. There were many ups and downs along the way, but sometimes those challenges are part of what shapes remarkable people. Question 4 – I am a mother of several children. I had an acquaintance who used to babysit for us for money. She often asks for money and makes many requests. How can I set a boundary without hurting her feelings? I am also concerned that if I need her help again in the future, she may say no. Question 5 – I come from a large family with many sisters, and I am naturally closer with some than with others. I tend to be a pacifist and a people-pleaser, especially with family members. How can I maintain emotional connection while also protecting my energy? Some family members resent that I am not equally close with everyone. 

Question 1 – If someone is afraid of an authority figure, could that fear stem from a painful attachment relationship earlier in life? Question 2 – How can a person heal attachment wounds? Some people around me say that I may be afraid to go out on my own in business because of attachment-related fears. Question 3 – I have a son who is 13–14 years old and is more sensitive. I have always tried not to “rock the boat” and to speak to him gently. How do I know when it is appropriate to be more assertive with him? Question 4 – Regarding the IFS journaling from last week’s program (2/9/25, Program #1295): now more parts are showing up in the journaling, including a macho part, a pushy part, and a worry part that are all speaking and sharing. Is this a normal part of the process? Question 5 – What is my role in this situation? I am close with someone who shares her shalom bayis struggles with me, but I am concerned about her adult daughter who has engaged in self-harm. When I raise the concern, she denies or minimizes it and says it was only for attention. How should I respond? Question 5B- Another issue is that the husband is not bringing in enough income and has approached my husband to borrow money. Is it advisable for us to lend him money? Feedback 6 – I listened again to the IFS journaling segment from the previous program, and it felt very helpful. I find it difficult to practice journaling on my own, and hearing it explained like this is teaching me how to do it.

Question 1 – My husband and my mother have a very complicated relationship, and for years they have gone back and forth between speaking and not speaking. I am in therapy and learning not to get involved between them. Recently my mother said she would only try to work things out if there is a mediator. Should I find someone? Question 2 – If a person struggles with bitachon and it may be connected to attachment wounds, can therapy help with that? Does a rov need to be involved as well? Question 3 – If someone has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, can they ever heal or improve? Question 4 – Can therapists at Serenity Center teach someone how to let go of expectations that another person will change?

Feedback 1 – Regarding the previous program: the listener shared that someone suggested the son should also give back to the mother. She feels it is important to be able to give without expecting anything in return. Question 2 – A listener shared that she is reading her IFS journal and notices that she is having a conversation between her loving part and her macho part. Is this a healthy way to work with these parts? Question 3 – Someone mentioned that therapy is only about 8% effective. Is that accurate? Question 4 – How should I handle a longtime friend who has recently become very negative in our conversations? She repeatedly returns to her problems and becomes hurt if I try to set a boundary and suggest that we focus on more positive topics.

Question 1 – How should someone make a decision when they have two choices, especially if their rebbe and their therapist disagree? Question 2 – I often hear people speak about going to trauma therapy. Should a person seek out a therapist who specializes specifically in trauma? Question 3 – I have a 15-year-old son who recognizes that he needs help in certain areas, but he refuses to go to therapy because he says, “I’m normal.” How can I connect with him and eventually encourage him to consider therapy?

Question 1: What is the role of a therapist compared to the role of a life coach? Question 2: I have an 11-year-old son who is beginning to develop a mustache. I gave him chizuk. From a practical standpoint, what is the appropriate way to discuss this with him? Question 3: What is MW’s perspective on offering lavish food as a reward for extra learning? Question 4: What is TMS therapy, and is it effective? Question 5A: Is the previous caller asking about the TMS alternative approach (often associated with Dr. Sarno)? It works on the mind–body connection, and it was very helpful for me.Question 5B: I would like to share that while I strongly believe in the mind–body connection, I also chose to go on medication, and it has been very helpful. I want people to know that medication can be used alongside alternative modalities. 

Question 1 I have a 20-year-old son who frequently yells at me and tells me that I am not doing a good job as a parent. He often takes on a parental role, speaks to me disrespectfully, and crosses appropriate boundaries. I need this behavior to stop. Is it appropriate to set firm limits, such as telling him that I will not drive him if he continues to act this way? Question 2 I called in last week to Radio Kol Bramah on 1/19/25, Program 1 (Episode 1289), Question 5. I am the great-grandmother who asked about how to respond to people who are going through difficult times. The ripple effect from that program has been unbelievable—I received calls from many people who were deeply impacted. I would like to remind everyone that when someone is going through a hardship, it is important to reach out rather than shy away. 

Comment 1: Thank you to the MW radio support group for the support. I feel its one huge support family.  Question 2: I’m in therapy, but feel my therapist doesn’t support my level of Yiddishkeit. What should I do? Question 3: A grieving relative is isolating herself. Should the family encourage engagement or respect her space? We didn’t sit shiva together and still feel the loss. Question 3B: My three-year-old became very clingy after hearing her cousin went up to Shamayim. How should I respond? Feedback 4:In our family’s loss, a teen didn’t want shiva visitors and didn’t want to be seen as a nebach. Are we meant to give into her? 

Question 1:  I run a bookkeeping office and am happy with my employee’s work, but she avoids responsibility and speaks to me as an equal. How do I address this without harming the relationship? Question 2: How does EMDR therapy work? Question 3: People suggest my husband take in a child from an unstable home. What should we consider before committing, especially if I have limited energy? Question 4: I’m a mother of young children. My husband works days and builds a business at night. I feel bored and lonely, yet guilty for feeling this way. How do I handle it? Question 5: How can I manage myself and support my teenagers during mood swings at home? 

Question 1A: You often say parents should go to therapy instead of the children—why? Point 1B: Progress matters more than perfection. Point 1C: You can’t force someone into therapy, but your own change can shift the environment. Question 1D: My 9-year-old son is very sensitive. His therapist validates him a lot, but when he gets hurt, he can lose control and hit others. He feels he can hurt others, but no one can hurt him. How should I handle this? Question 2: I have a 14-year-old chavrusa that I support, but I don’t see results. How do I work with him more effectively? Feedback 3: After listening to the first radio program on blushing, it became much easier for me to manage. Feedback 4: Last week’s program was difficult, yet you stayed calm and responded clearly and thoughtfully. Feedback 5: My husband has a friend who stopped therapy and medication. We set a boundary—remaining his friend but not supporting his mental-health struggles. Shortly after, he returned to therapy, resumed medication, and went back to work. 

Comment 1: I used to use the word “perfect” all the time. I’ve since replaced it with different language because it triggers my struggle with perfectionism. Question 2: For older single bochurim, how can they stay strong and grounded when they feel stuck and unable to move forward in life? Question 3: My sister is very down and spending most of her time in bed. We’ve tried to help her, but nothing seems to work. What can I do that’s actually helpful? Feedback 4: Attachment to my therapist. I called into the 12/22/25 program (Program 2, #1281) about my shame in needing my therapist so badly. Since then I was able to have the session by phone. It felt easier to open up, and I shared everything. My therapist was accepting and inviting, and I felt so much relief afterward. It’s powerful to allow yourself to hear from another person that you are “okay.” Question 5: Through therapy, I’ve become more aware of my past pain, but I don’t see how that has helped me. Why do therapists focus on the past if it only brings up pain—and the past can’t be changed? 

Feedback 1: I called a few weeks ago about a friend who was constantly complaining and presenting as a victim, possibly within a BPD dynamic. After I set a clear boundary, she turned to a mentor who is now helping her more appropriately, which felt like a healthy shift. Question 2: I have a child with ADHD who is currently doing well. Does a child who is functioning well still need therapy, or is therapy only necessary when there are clear struggles? Question 3: I have a coworker whose behavior really disturbs me, and I find myself carrying it home with me. How can I learn to mentally “shut down” work stress when I get home? Feedback 4: Regarding the previous caller about a difficult coworker, they shared that in sales they learned people are more likely to change when they understand why a change benefits them and what they gain from it. Perhaps this approach could be helpful in her situation as well. Feedback 5: This ties into the idea of winning friends—approaching others in a way that helps them feel understood rather than criticized. Question 6: My daughter is currently in a PHP and will be transitioning to an IOP. I use a lot of chizuk with her, but how do I differentiate between offering healthy encouragement and slipping into a victim mindset myself?Question 7: My husband has health anxiety and wonders if “normal” people experience this as well. What is my role as a wife in supporting him without reinforcing the anxiety? 

Comment 1: Someone called in last week and shared that they couldn’t stop thinking about their therapist. I experienced something similar in the past but felt too ashamed to tell anyone. Hearing her share helped the shame completely fall away for me. Question 2: I was bullied for ten years in school and I am on the autism spectrum. I am currently looking for friends who have also been through struggles. I often connect with people, but then they suddenly pull away. I feel like some may have BPD, and I find it very hard to maintain relationships that feel so unpredictable. How should I understand and cope with this? Question 3: Why would someone have such a hard time getting up in the morning, even when there is nothing specific wrong? Question 4: What are the five love languages, and how do they help improve relationships? Comment 5A: I want to comment on the previous caller with ASD. She was incredibly brave, clear, and articulate. I have a son with ASD as well, and people often don’t understand him. Comment 5B: I also want to say that IOP is extremely worthwhile. You are not judged for being there. Many people in IOP are actually healing from the people or situations that caused the pain. Question 5C: How do you deal with a teenager who can become aggressive? How do I cope as a parent, and how can I best help her?

Question 1:  Does a person need therapy in order to truly help themselves? Question 2:  I’m confident and speak up, but after being told I’m intimidating, I pulled back and stopped expressing myself. Since then, I feel lifeless—why? Question 3:  If someone doesn’t want help, is it really impossible to help them—or is there still hope?Question 4:  I’m embarrassed that, despite being successful, I feel a very strong attachment to my therapist and I can’t talk about it with my therapist. Why does this feel so shameful?

Question 1:  Why do some people experience life primarily through their emotional mind rather than their logical mind? What might explain the shift I’ve experienced—from being more emotionally driven in the past to now functioning more from a logical, grounded place? Question 2:  I’m calling for chizuk. In both yeshiva and at home, we’ve seen meaningful positive changes in my son, who needs emotional support. A relative who hadn’t seen my special-needs son in a long time commented that he seemed to have “more life” in the past and less now. That comment really knocked me down—how should I understand and cope with this? Question 3: Can people who are experiencing depression recognize that they are depressed, or does the condition itself sometimes prevent awareness?

Question 1: My 16-year-old brother is out of yeshiva and currently spending time in a group with other boys. He does not see me as someone who understands him and views me as “too holy.” He is not opening up to me. How can I connect with him? Comment 2: I would like to comment on the previous caller regarding a 16-year-old who is no longer in school. Question 3: How can a person truly live in the moment? Doesn’t living in the moment mean not preparing—and if you don’t prepare, won’t you fail? Question 4: I belong to an organization where children gather once a month. What should our role be? Is it to help them talk about their feelings, or is it meant to simply be a safe space for them to relax and spend time together? Question 4B: How do you manage children who are more challenging and want constant attention or try to dominate the group by speaking the entire time?Question 5: My therapist recently experienced a personal loss. What is my role when I see her? Is it appropriate to bring it up, and can I still share my heavier issues, or should I hold back? 

Question 1: There is a mother who needs to take medication and had refused to do so for a long time. She is now taking medication, but the children feel it is not helping and believe it may need to be changed. Should the children push or pressure their mother to change the medication if she becomes defensive and unwilling to discuss it? Question 2: Children do not realize when they are crossing boundaries, and the home feels filled with chaos and lack of structure. How can parents restore clear structure, authority, and stability in the system? Question 3: ADHD — How can a child appear to have ADHD symptoms at home but not at school? Question 4: Emunah and bitachon — Can they reduce or eliminate anxiety? Does CBT work for everyone, especially for individuals who are very logical? 

Question 1-  If someone experienced trauma in childhood, can ketamine treatment be helpful? Question 2-  My elderly parents were not the best parents when we were growing up, and now my siblings and I are struggling to care for them. It’s emotionally heavy. I’ve spoken with my rov and I know what my responsibilities are and what they are not. How can I cope with the emotional weight of dealing with them? Question 3- I’m 19, and my mother is very controlling about how I dress and how much makeup I wear. I’m afraid to stand up to her because I don’t know how she’ll react. Should I confront this once and for all, or should I avoid it? Question 4- Why do some parents struggle to compliment their children and express emotional love? 

Feedback 1A: About a year ago, I reached out regarding my fear of starting EMDR, and you encouraged me to allow myself to let go. It have a major impact on me.  Question 1B: Can you help me understand why, after I processed my feelings of anger , now I find myself feeling pain. How does this work?  Question 1C: I feel drawn to explore certain painful parts of my trauma history and the emotions that come with it. At the same time, I hesitate because I’m afraid revisiting it may trigger anger toward family members. How should I approach this? Question 2- why are children and teens from dysfunctional homes fight to go back to the dysfunctional home/environment? Question 3A- My son’s therapist recommended doing a few sessions with me, explaining that this work would help my son. How does working with a parent create change in the child?Question 3B- Additionally, why would my son hit me but not hit my husband? Question 4- I recently read an interview about Spravado, and it sounded like a medication that can address almost everything. If it’s so effective, why isn’t everyone using it? 

Question 1: A weekly caller, Aryeh, reached out about a year ago regarding a dog that barked every time it saw him. He shared how much it bothered him that the dog consistently barked at him.  Question 2: Can a person rely on their gut instinct when making major life decisions—such as deciding whether to change a child’s school? If intuition can be trusted, why do people still seek guidance from others instead of relying solely on their instinct? Question 3: In my recent therapy sessions, I’ve been experiencing moments where my brain freezes. My mind becomes numb, almost physically locked. Interestingly, I’m fully functional and productive at work and at home. This internal part of me insists that I’m “making it all up” and blocks me from doing therapeutic work by telling me that my experiences aren’t real. What is happening, and how can I work with this part?Question 4: My son, who is in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, is a perfectionist. He becomes very stuck if he does not immediately understand the Gemara, and he can't let go when something doesn’t come out perfectly. His principal suggested we address this now because it can develop into anxiety. I don’t understand the connection—how does perfectionism lead to anxiety? 

Question 1: A 15-year-old boy recently climbed a scaffolding, putting himself in a dangerous situation. What awareness should we have about why teenagers engage in risky behavior, and what can adults do when they witness or hear about a teen doing something unsafe? Question 2:  My daughter is in third grade and tends to work at a slower pace. She is usually the last to take out her sefer, and her teacher says she often does not complete her classwork and appears spaced out during lessons. The teacher suggested trying Ritalin. What are your thoughts on this, and how should a parent approach this kind of recommendation? Question 3: I know someone in his late forties who creates chaos in almost every environment unless everything goes exactly his way. What is my responsibility when observing this pattern? Am I allowed to tell his spouse that her husband may have traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder? 

Question 1:  What is the appropriate role of a wife in setting limits at home, and when is it healthy for her to hold her ground rather than “give in”? My husband sometimes uses ice-water as a consequence for the children. Is this considered acceptable, or is it inappropriate? Question 2:  How should parents handle explaining a sibling’s ASD to the other children in the home? For example, when one child does things on Shabbos that are not allowed for others, or when his behavior is developmentally different, what is the best way to help the other children understand? Update 3: I previously called about my husband’s drinking. I wanted to share an update: we spoke openly, he sought help, and he is now sober. Our home and our relationship have improved tremendously because of it. Question 4: Is there a psychological explanation for why a person repeatedly puts themselves into unhealthy or harmful situations? 

Question 1:  What guidance can you share about managing medication responsibly, and what should individuals and families keep in mind throughout the process? Poem 2: I wrote a poem as an expression of deep appreciation for you and for this program.  Question 3: When someone is manic, how much of what they say reflects their true feelings? I often feel hurt when they express painful or harsh things, and I’m not sure how to understand it. Question 4:  As an older single, I’m dating someone who has a few traits that trouble me. How do I know what is normal to overlook and what might be important not to ignore? Question 5 I’m curious about gaming and screen addiction. My children, ages 10 to 16, use electronics for about an hour a day after school. Is that considered healthy, or does it fall into the category of addiction? 

Question 1: My friend is seeing a therapist, and I’m wondering if it’s appropriate that the therapist called people from her résumé to check if a suggested shidduch was right for her. Would that be considered overstepping professional boundaries? Question 2: What’s the difference between Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and narcissism? And how can you deal with someone who is very complicated, blames you for everything, and refuses to take responsibility for their own issues? Question 3: If someone takes medication for anxiety but doesn’t tell their therapist, is that a problem? Can therapy still be effective in that case? 

Question 1: There seems to be an attitude that if a rebbi or teacher does something wrong, it’s a big deal — but if the students act out, they’re simply given another chance. How does that make sense? Question 2: Can someone have ADHD even if they don’t struggle with time management or organization? Question 2B: I struggle with word retrieval — I often know what I want to say but can’t find the right words. What causes this, and what can help improve it? Question 3: Can trauma cause OCD? Is it possible to heal OCD through trauma work? I’ve been doing trauma therapy for my OCD, but it doesn’t seem to be helping the OCD itself. Question 3B: Is TMS a good treatment for OCD? Question 4: I had some alcohol at a wedding and realized I really liked it. I know I have an addictive personality and I’m worried this could become a coping habit, especially since alcohol is served at so many weddings. How can I prevent this from becoming a problem? 

Feedback 1: I called about a year ago, afraid that a therapist might control your mind or turn you against Hashem and your family. In reality, it’s not like that at all. Therapy helps you make your own decisions, come out of your cocoon, and grow. It encourages you to face and express feelings you once avoided, and to acknowledge what’s really inside. Question 2: My child’s therapist suggested that we, the parents, go to therapy. At what point do you say that the child should go instead? I’m asking about my 5-year-old, who avoids expressing emotions and often acts out. Question 3: What does it really mean when people say someone is a narcissist? Question 4: How can a mother help her 17-year-old son wake up in the morning? 

Question 1:I have a 19-year-old daughter with special needs. We’ve seen many professionals, and while she shows several ASD symptoms, she doesn’t meet full criteria for a diagnosis. She often asks why she has these challenges, and I don’t know how to explain it. How can I help her understand her situation and make sense of her delays? Question 2: Why do we see so many different specialties and therapy modalities today compared to years ago? What caused this shift? Question 3: What are your thoughts on someone seeing two different therapists at the same time for the same issue? 

Question 1- sharing an experience of someone divorcing and not being open to listen. Question 2: Are there real benefits to taking popular workshop courses that claim to help everyone? It sounds unrealistic that one approach works for all. Should I just continue with individual therapy instead? Question 3: I’m calling about the program from September 29, 2025 (Program #1265) — the mother asking about her 17-year-old son going off the derech. Why isn’t that just considered normal teenage behavior? Question 4: I went to visit my mother and stepfather for Shabbos. He often puts her down and speaks to her disrespectfully. As a guest at the table, what is my role? Should I defend her, distract him, or stay silent?

Question 1:  I’m about to start therapy and want to make sure I get the most out of it. How can I prepare myself to benefit as much as possible? Question 1B:  I have a friend who always agrees with me. I actually want her to be more honest and share her real opinions — even if she disagrees. How can I tell her that in a nice way? Question 2: I’m struggling to stay organized and often forget to eat lunch. How can I create a better routine and stay on track during the day? Question 3: What is the role of a friend when someone is struggling in their Yiddishkeit? How can I be supportive without overstepping? Question 4: My wife and I are regular listeners and really appreciate your program. By nature, I’m stubborn and quite opinionated. I’m working on seeing other perspectives, but when I give in, I sometimes feel like I’m being pushed around. How can I find balance — like in DBT’s Walking the Middle Path?

Question 1 – Aryeh, what do you do when the parents themselves are complicated? Feedback 2 – From a caller on the 9/8/25 program (Program 1, #1260, Question 5): I took your encouragement and spoke about it with my therapist. It worked out really well—the therapist explained that I can reach out and that it was simply a misunderstanding. Question 3 – How can I build a better relationship with myself? Because I don’t feel connected to myself, I also struggle to connect with others. This bothers me even more. How can I change this? Question 4 – My therapist offered to see me three times a week. Is that common? Question 5 – My son attended a yeshiva where the boys went to therapy several times a week. It actually bothered him that they went so often. Discussed the differences between therapy and mentorship?Question 6 – My yeshiva is asking me to leave. If I transfer to another yeshiva that “helps boys with issues,” I’m afraid I’ll go downhill because of the environment. I don’t want that. What should I do? 

Question 1 – How do cell phones impact family life and relationships? In particular, when a couple uses them excessively, what advice would you give to young couples about healthy cell phone use? Question 2 – Do you have any guidance for dealing with moderate OCD, especially when it comes to religious anxiety around Rosh Hashanah? I often feel like I’m not doing teshuvah properly and can only see what I’ve done wrong. Question 3 – Can you speak about the termination process in therapy? I’ve been in therapy for two years and made significant progress. At one point I thought I was ready to finish, but now that I have, I’m finding it very difficult and feel I need support. Question 4 – A close family member has a 16-year-old son who dropped out of yeshiva about six months ago. He spends all day on the internet gaming and does nothing else. While the parents are trying to stay connected to him, I believe this is an addiction. Should I suggest that they see an addiction therapist? 

Question 1 – What is the difference between the Sarno method and somatic therapy? Question 2 – What is the most appropriate method of therapy for someone who has experienced trauma? Question 3 – What is the difference between Radical Acceptance and ACT therapy? Feedback 4 – The caller who asked about Radical Acceptance (#3) felt like it was a personal message from Hashem. I now realize I need to accept my reality.Feedback 5 – From Radical Acceptance: I need to accept that, when it comes to family, they may not change.

Question 1 – I’ve been in therapy for the past five years. Now that I’m past the major struggles, I wish someone had told me what to expect moving forward and reassured me that it’s okay. Why isn’t this kind of guidance given more often? Question 2 – My son is being bullied in class, and we don’t fully know what’s happening. What can we do as parents? Question 3 – Why do I find it difficult to show appreciation to others, even when they’ve helped me? Question 4 – I have a general question: Where is the line between discipline and abuse? Question 5 – My therapist was on vacation for five weeks this summer, and now I’m dreading my upcoming session. Why might I feel this way? 

Question 1 – I have tried many different therapy modalities, and somatic work helps me the most. However, I’ve noticed that the last 10 years of my life feel cloudy and fuzzy. Why is that? Question 2 – When I don’t remember things, such as forgetting appointments or tasks I need to do, what is causing that? What might be wrong with me? Question 3 – I am in therapy, but I constantly doubt myself. The only work that really helps me is somatic and deeper therapy. Still, my strong denial keeps coming up again and again. Will I need to be in therapy forever till I get rid of the denial? Question 4 – What is the difference between behavioral therapy and somatic therapy? Question 5 – I’ve struggled with weight, and my doctor referred me to OA (Overeaters Anonymous). What is known about the long-term success of OA? Question 6 – (Aryeh) How can we help a horse gain weight?Question 7 – Why is it that some women can cry the moment they light Shabbos candles, but I can’t cry even for someone close to me who is very sick? 

Question 1 – Why would people share positive information before a shidduch and then this girl goes off the derech a few months after getting married? Feedback 2 – This is in response to the previous question. Question 3 – I have been seeing a therapist and doing a lot of somatic work. Over time, I developed a strong connection to my therapist. Because of the intensity of the work, I find myself constantly thinking about my therapist, and I am still struggling. What should I do now? Question 4 – I am a yeshiva bochur over the age of 20. I feel restless in the afternoons when it comes to learning. For some reason, the beginning of a new zman feels especially difficult, and I don’t yet have all my chavrusas? Why am I so restless?  Question 4B – Last year I shared with friends that my grandmother is in the hospital. They suggested that I speak to a therapist, but my parents don’t think I need one. Do I need to speak to a therapist?  Question 5 – My wife struggles with weight loss. She goes from one expensive diet to another, many of them extreme. We’ve tried everything, but nothing lasts. Is this simply a matter of self-control? What can I do as a husband? 

Question 1 continued from last program: 8/25/25 program 2 (1257) Q4 The therapist says he feels that he understands the client, but the client doesn’t feel the therapist truly gets him. What should be done? Feedback 2 – Aryeh: “The horse is officially getting trauma therapy for his trauma.”Question 3 – I struggle with a behavioral issue. I am a child of divorced parents. I was told by Daas Torah that no matter how amicable a divorce is, it always results in trauma. Is this true? Can I heal by myself without a therapist? 

Question 1 – I am an MSW student and learning a lot. A 16-year-old child diagnosed in 8th grade with ADHD. With a lot of effort we found the right medication. He isn’t very cooperative and doesn't feel good about needing medication. They are oppositional and resistant. What do I do? Question 2 – I have trauma and my first therapist was gentle but progress was slow. A year ago, I switched to a new therapist who is much more invasive. After sessions I crash for a week and then feel a lingering low. With my old therapist, I didn’t crash, but I also didn’t see much progress. What should I consider? Question 3 – What is TRE therapy? Is it evidence-based? I understand it is a somatic form of therapy.Question 4 – Follow-up from the Bochur on last week’s 8/18/25 program 1 (1254), question 3. He wants to ask about EMDR. The therapist says he feels that he understands the client, but the client doesn’t feel the therapist truly gets him. What should be done? 

Question 1: Is it common for complicated people to rewrite reality, criticize, make sharing difficult and have you believe that you are the issue? Question 2: My daughter’s school trip requires a waiver saying they aren’t responsible for any harm. This scares me. Is it okay if she’s the only one not going? Question 3: After a car accident, when and for how long is it okay to be a “backseat driver”? How can I help a sibling who is now afraid of long car trips?Question 4: What are some ways to stay calm before a blood test?

Question 1: My 7-year-old with social anxiety, transitioning from special ed to mainstream yeshiva, says “I want to die, it’s so hard.” Should I worry? Question 2: What is the function of denial, and how can you protect yourself from someone in denial? Question 3: As a bochur, I find I rely on my therapist for everything instead of handling things myself. Is this healthy?

Question 1 I am calling on behalf of a friend who suffers from OCD. She has tried both therapy and medication, but neither has worked. Could she try TMS? Listener Feedback (related to TMS) I wanted to share my thoughts on TMS. It can help a person get out of the loop, but it is still important to combine it with therapy so they can do the necessary work. Question 3 Last week, you discussed a mother saying her son should not be home and should be outside. Isn’t it okay if a child wants quiet time and prefers to spend time by himself? Question 4 Aryeh’s follow-up about what was said on program #1247 regarding horses not understanding words. Question 5 Feedback on a previous caller from program #1257, question 3: The caller described someone who is perfect on the outside but struggling on the inside. I relate to this. I had help from my mother, but it wasn’t working for me. Now I need more help—who should I go to? Question 6 I am currently doing therapy over the phone. Is it better to have therapy over the phone, via Zoom, or in person? Question 7 If a young adult stops talking to a therapist, can the parents reach out to the therapist at a later time for some time and guidance without feeling guilty about taking the therapist’s time without paying for it?Question 8 You wrote a Yated article about someone who extended themselves to help a complicated family member. You emphasized the importance of investing in family and being able to handle challenges without disengaging every time it gets hard. Can you elaborate on this? 

Question 1 I was accepted into the MSW field but had also applied to an MHC program. What is the difference between these two programs? Question 2 I’m working on my assertiveness and have a question: When there is a choice for a therapist between two clients, how does the therapist decide which client to choose? Question 3 How can I share with my therapist what happened between our sessions? My therapist is from my neighborhood, and she might say, “On the outside you’re doing so well, so what do you mean you’re not doing well on the inside?” Question 4 I called a few months ago about therapy. I played the question to my therapist, and it helped us work things out. I’d like to raise awareness about the importance of sleep, as lack of sleep can make challenges such as depression, anxiety, and other issues much worse. 

Question 1:  Aryeh called in about a horse that experienced trauma.  Question 2A: Is it true that people who are less self-aware often seem more confident, simply because they’re not noticing all the potential pitfalls? Question 2B: I have a child who is very intuitive and emotionally aware — she constantly feels and absorbs what’s going on around her. How can I help her find balance and not be overwhelmed by her emotions? Question 3: Caller #2 gave her daughter the exact advice a professional gave her for her daughter. Why isnt MW saying that this is the correct tool for worry? Mordechai Weinberger mentioned an additional six skills to hep children feeling worry and overwhelm Question 4 (follow-up to Question 2):My 9-year-old is a deep thinker with a strong personality. If he feels something is wrong, he’ll immediately call it out — even to friends. As a result, he struggles socially and has no close friends. How can we support him while helping him develop better peer relationships?Question 5:I’ve taken a break from therapy, and I feel like the longer the break goes on, the harder it is to return. In some ways, the break gives me space, but I also wonder if I’m avoiding something. IFS (Internal Family Systems) was used with this caller. 

Question 1:  Someone had a minor car accident and now feels anxious or afraid to be in a car. Can that reaction make sense from a psychological perspective? Question 2:  Why is it that when I know I’ve been fired, I feel calmer than when I’m uncertain whether my boss might fire me? Why is the unknown often more anxiety-provoking than a known negative outcome? Question 2B  It’s interesting that in CBT, they teach that we don’t have to believe every thought that pops into our head. That concept alone is incredibly empowering. Comment 3: One thing I appreciate about this program is how clear and relatable the information is. It helps make complex psychological ideas feel accessible and applicable. Question 4: I often feel unsure of myself and tend to look at others and imitate what they do. Will I ever develop the confidence to trust my own judgment and “get it right” on my own? Question 5: How important is it for a client to pay out of pocket for therapy? If insurance covers the sessions, will the person still be as committed and motivated in their therapeutic work? 

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