Middle of Chaos

In this episode, I talk about my teenage years and early relationships, and what I thought love was at the time.I share personal experiences where I allowed things I didn’t truly want because I was afraid of being rejected or not liked. I also talk about an on-and-off relationship that lasted for years, and friendships that hurt me more than once.Looking back now, I can see how what I went through as a child shaped the way I handled relationships, boundaries, and my own self-worth.This is part of understanding those patterns and learning how to change them. I’ll continue this in the next episode.Listener note: This episode includes sensitive and personal topics.

Hello Friends,This episode is a little different, but still really important.I did record a full Episode 12, but I’ve been having trouble opening the original file. I’ve been working on it all week and I’m still trying to recover it. If I can, I will absolutely upload it. If not, I promise I will still share that full story with you.But I didn’t want to leave you with nothing.If you listened to Episode 11, this is where that story continues.So this episode is a continuation of Episode 11 — and a reflection on how what I experienced growing up shaped the way I viewed love in my teenage years, early adulthood, and even in my marriage.I talk honestly about what it looked like to say “no” in my head, but still go along with things out of fear of rejection… and how being treated a certain way made me believe that was what love was.But I’m learning… that’s not love.Love isn’t something we earn by what we do.It’s something we deserve for who we are.And part of that journey is learning to love and forgive ourselves too.I’m still learning — and maybe you are too.Thank you for being here with me.— Wilma Dunn

In this episode, I share more about my childhood and go deeper into parts of my story I first touched on earlier in the podcast.There were things I didn’t fully understand at the time — moments that left me feeling confused, embarrassed, and unsure of how to speak up or make it stop.I talk about what that looked like for me, how I responded, and how those experiences followed me into later years.This is also part of my journey in finding my voice — something I didn’t have back then, but am learning to use now.If any part of this resonates with you, please know you’re not alone.If you or someone you know is struggling, you can call or text 988 for support.Listener note: This episode includes sensitive and personal topics that may be difficult for some listeners.

In this episode, I share what life was like after we moved out of my grandparents’ house and into a very different environment.From growing up in a rural area surrounded by wildlife, to taking on responsibilities at a young age.I reflect on the contrast between where I felt most at home and where I was living, the experiences that shaped me during that time, and the moments that have stayed with me — both difficult and memorable.Even as life changed, my connection to my grandparents remained, and I found myself returning whenever I could.Listener note: This episode includes discussion of childhood experiences, family dynamics, and discipline.

In this episode, I share what holidays and birthdays looked like growing up — from celebrating with my grandparents to the changes that came when we moved away.I reflect on the differences in how those moments felt, the memories that stayed with me, and how even small experiences shaped how I saw myself.This episode includes both difficult and meaningful moments, and how they continue to impact me today. Listener note: This episode includes discussion of childhood experiences, family dynamics, and emotional impact.

After sharing my story, I wanted to talk about what stayed with me — and what has started to change.In this episode, I reflect on how my upbringing shaped me, the strength and independence it created, and the ways I had to learn to find my voice. I talk about the role my grandparents played in my life, the guilt I carried from my religious upbringing, and how I’ve slowly started letting go of fear and living more for myself.Healing hasn’t been perfect, but I’m finally learning what it means to actually live instead of just getting through life.Listener note: This episode includes discussion of trauma, family dynamics, and emotional healing.

In Part 2 of this story, I talk about what learning looked like growing up in my household — from homeschooling and being punished for mistakes, to discovering later in life that I had mild dyslexia.I also reflect on the role my sister played in teaching me to read, the complicated feelings of being the fifth of nine children when my mom originally only wanted two, and how those experiences contributed to the depression I struggled with later.Even within difficult memories, there are moments of gratitude and resilience that helped shape who I became.Listener note: This episode includes discussion of childhood trauma, depression, and difficult family dynamics.If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, help is available in the United States by texting or calling 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7.

In this episode, I talk about growing up in a very religious environment, the beliefs that shaped my childhood, and how faith was often connected to fear. I share how those experiences affected me, how my beliefs have changed over time, and what I still hold onto today.I also talk about how, during a period of depression, belief played a role in keeping me here — even as I continue to sort through what faith means to me now.Listener note: This episode includes discussion of religion, mental health, and past suicidal thoughts.

This episode explains why Middle of Chaos exists and the moment I realized I could no longer stay silent about my own experiences.This episode goes deeper into the why behind Middle of Chaos. I share what finally brought me to speak, write, and stop minimizing my own story — and why using my voice now matters, not just for me, but for anyone who has felt unseen or unheard.Listener note: This episode includes discussion of trauma and may be sensitive for some listeners.

This episode marks a turning point. I respond to a listener email and open up about the first time I was picked on and when trauma began to take shape in my life. This is where the story starts to shift from background to impact. Listener note: This episode includes discussions of trauma and family dynamics. Please listen at your own pace and take care of yourself while listening.

In this episode, we move into a new chapter — literally. I share what it was like moving in with my grandparents, living with twelve people under one roof, and adjusting to a home filled with rules, routines, and constant noise.From homeschooling without computers to learning to read, sibling dynamics, and finding refuge outside by the creek, this episode paints the environment that shaped me — the space where independence, confusion, and resilience began to form.Listener note: This episode includes discussions of difficult family dynamics and childhood experiences. Please listen at your own pace.

This episode goes back to the very beginning. I share where I was born, the places I lived, and early memories that shaped my childhood — including how I was taught to swim and what “normal” looked like in my earliest years. This episode sets the foundation for the story that unfolds throughout Middle of Chaos.

This first episode introduces Middle of Chaos — the space, the tone, and what listeners can expect. I share what it means to grow up as a textbook middle child in a large, deeply religious household, why silence never worked for me, and how this podcast became a place for honesty, reflection, and strength.Listener note: This episode includes discussions of family dynamics, faith, and trauma. Please listen at your own pace and take care of yourself while listening.