Motherwife

Guest: Jiemi Gao, Ex-Deloitte & Founder of Nori | It was such a pleasure to sit down with Jiemi Gao, a fellow Deloitte alum turned start-up founder who prioritized flexibility, autonomy, and passion to launch Nori - the social networking platform for moms. She is brilliant, courageous, highly capable, and a wonderful mom raising her own children in New York City. My favorite part of the conversation was when Jiemi shared how motherhood can looks hundreds - thousands, hundreds of thousands - of different ways, and she's been able to see that first-hand through Nori's journey. She's right. There's absolutely no "one-size-fits-all", every circumstance is different, every family, parent, and child is different. And that reality is compounded by the fact that everyone in the family is growing and evolving each day. What works well today may not work next month. I found myself even more aware of that fact, open to possibilities, and understanding of the fact that navigating raising children in 2026, when screens are ubiquitous and outsourcing is many times a necessity to make ends meet, is both incredibly challenging and incredibly rewarding.Jiemi stepped into a new chapter of her career - and her life - without some of the skills needed to make Nori a success (i.e., coding!). This really made me think about not letting lack of knowledge or experience be a barrier between you and a choice that's best for your family. Continuous learning is one of the most powerful skills in your toolbox.

9 out of 10 people I've spoken with since releasing Motherwife have at some point in the conversation asked some version of, "Are you a Christian?" I wrestled with how I wanted to incorporate my faith and its impact on my decision-making and how I live my life into this podcast. Christ's love, and the blessings the Lord has bestowed upon our family, are foundational to the way we live, how we raise our kids, what's important to us, and how we treat others. Walking in faith is not perfect, nor is it linear or without detour. Fully surrendering to God's plan has, for me, unlocked aspirations and dreams and skills I would never have discovered without Him.If you've found my content, I am praying for your peace, your joy, and a deep profound fulfillment from living a life that is truly yours and not defined by someone else's definition of "success".

Finances are the primary practical reason mothers choose not to downshift or step out of the workforce even if they truly want to. This is a reality for so many families. In our scenario, I knew even if I could not step out of work completely, I could certainly choose a role or gig work that was more conducive to a 15-hour work week. Many mothers - including me - continue to toil away in demanding corporate leadership roles out of fear ("I've worked so hard and I am so far down this path. I've put in a decade. What else would I do?") or, as in my case, ego ("I run a practice at a Big 4 firm, am damn good at my job, and could be a CEO in time. How could I accept a "demotion" or less prestigious role, even if it improved my quality of life?"). Please don't get stuck in this way of thinking. I did, and it kept me from my happiness, my faith, and my true calling: to be a high-value mother rather than a high-value employee for this stage of our lives. My husband and I made financial decisions that set us up for me to be able to take a step back (i.e., living below our means, my husband taking a big and risky career step that paid off, and investing our money wisely). Even if I couldn't fully stay-at-home, I knew in my heart I would rather pick up gig work, start my own business, or drive for UberEats than to continue to operate within a corporate structure that wasn't built for mothers.I looked at Nick and said, "if we spend every dollar we make for the next few years, this will be worth it to me" followed by even more increasingly radical "what ifs" (selling the house, downsizing, moving). Sharing my experiences, our conversations, and how we made this major life transformative through Motherwife is incredibly important to me if it can help you and your family on your journey. Making this decision is a step of true faith and the best thing we have ever done as parents. I'm praying for you.

A reflection seven months into being primary on kids, home, and all things family operations in lieu of running a practice at Deloitte. We’ve found a system and structure that works for us - and are more proactive in making changes as we need to. Our kids’ needs will change, our hopes and goals as a couple, my husband’s professional aspirations. My single biggest piece of advice is this: no matter your circumstances (income, lack of familial support, market conditions, geography) - you are not stuck where you are today. Many of those “mile markers” you’ve established (i.e., I’m going to get through the next six months to collect my bonus, then evaluate and leave) are entirely arbitrary and I encourage you to rethink them. If your current setup is not working, sit down with your spouse today to assess exactly what is not up to your standards (root causes, not symptoms), and design a gameplan to get even incrementally closer to what 1) works best for your family and 2) is aligned with your values.I’ve spoken with many women who feel constrained, typically economically, and that they cannot forego their income. Which may or may not be true: there are other companies and/or roles out there to be explored. Are you stuck - or are you choosing to be? Could you take a pay cut for an increase in quality of life, less stress, more flexibility? Have you and your spouse sat down to quantify that and envision your ideal against where you are today? This process isn’t quick or easy. It's incredibly hard. It takes effort, intention, and evaluation of trade-offs while removing fear from the equation. How would you design your life if fear weren’t a baseline for your decision-making?

Every fiber of my being was calling me to be home with my kids while they are young. My "mom guilt" was desperately trying to tell me I was living out of congruence with my own values and the type of parent I wanted to be. I was simply suppressing and ignoring my guilt and shame because it seemed like everyone around me was returning to work and I should be OK with having my children with someone else. I wanted to give them more of my time, and the best of my time. Children demand an incredible amount, and the reward is equally, if not far more, incredible. I want to be a happy, purposeful, devoted, intentional mother who sees nothing as more important than giving them a strong sense of identity and self, built upon a foundation of unshakeable faith. If this time and energy isn't made inside the home, they will find their sense of identity elsewhere - it will be shaped by peers and external influences, in the era of social media and screen addiction. We knew we wanted something different.My guilt was guiding, and challenging me, to choose my family at any professional cost. I wanted to answer my calling to put in the work at home. Isaiah 6:8 continually resonated with me as I prayed on my journey, this internal dilemma: "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

My husband and I had two very demanding careers for six years since our first son was born. We tried every which way of me staying in my management consulting role in some capacity, when every fiber of my being was pulling me towards what I truly wanted: to focus the best and majority of my time and energy towards raising our beautiful kids. I finally left my role over the summer of 2025 - when it felt like an unpopular decision no one in my network was making, when the world values status, money, influence and professional accomplishments over motherhood and homemaking. Your career is not unimportant, your kids are simply MORE important. They get one childhood and their sense of self, attachment styles, and foundation of who they will be as adults are hardcoded by age 10. I wanted to and needed to play a much bigger role in their growth and development than I could in my consulting role. When I reconciled 1) the way I wanted to live my life, 2) how we want to raise our kids, and 3) our strong, at times counter-cultural values as a family (e.g., Christian faith, self-reliance, lack of entitlement, work ethic, integrity) - and prioritized that over society's obsession with more/outsourcing/professional contributions, all of our lives changed for the better.