One Question with Leah Farmer

Setting an intention has been dismissed for years as a "woo-woo" practice — but a growing body of neuroscience suggests it may be one of the most quietly powerful daily acts available to us. This week's episode draws on the research of Stanford neurosurgeon James Doty (Mind Magic) to explore why a single, specific, embodied intention can shift the texture of your entire day — not by changing what happens, but by changing what your brain is wired to notice. Plus a brief mention of the small intention-setting app I built along the way: Wild369.comThis week's question is: What intention am I setting?

What if the most important question you can ask in any difficult moment isn't what should I do — but who do I want to be while I do it? This week's episode is an invitation to step out of reaction and back into authorship of your own character. Drawing on Aristotle's idea of practical wisdom, Viktor Frankl's teaching on the space between stimulus and response, and Eugene Gendlin's somatic philosophy of the felt sense, Leah explores how a single internal question — asked before we respond — can change not only the moment, but the kind of person we are slowly becoming inside it.

What if anger isn't a lapse in your composure — but one of the most reliable signals you have about what you value? This week's episode opens with the new Netflix documentary Trust Me: The False Prophet, and the justified rage so many of us have felt watching it, as the starting point for a deeper question: what is my anger actually trying to tell me?Drawing on Aristotle's ethics of anger, Myisha Cherry's philosophy of clean rage (building on Audre Lorde's landmark 1981 speech), and modern emotion research that treats anger as a moral signal, Leah explores how the emotion we're most often told to suppress can be our clearest compass toward what we truly love. This episode is an invitation to stop running from your anger — and start listening to what it's trying to name.

Earlier this week, Leah had a plan: go to sleep. The decision about whether the United States would bomb Iran was not hers to make or to stop. She was exhausted. She got into bed. And then she lay there in the dark for hours, caught in a loop — what will this mean, what will this mean, what will this mean — until the timeline passed and the decision was made. She went to sleep with a pit in her stomach and woke up feeling almost hungover from the anxiety she'd been carrying through the night.This episode is for anyone who had a week like that.Drawing on neuroscience of the stress response and why the body cannot distinguish between immediate and distant threat, psychological research on productive versus unproductive worry, and the evidence base for co-regulation and somatic awareness as genuine tools for navigating collective fear, this episode explores what we actually do with a fear we can't fix. Not how to make it go away. How to hold it without being held by it.This week's question: Where do you feel the weight of the world?

It feels good to turn your face to the sun. The sound of rain on windows is one of the best sounds there is. A cat sleeping on you — choosing you, trusting you — is more of an honour than a lot of things people spend whole careers chasing. These are small things. True things. The kind of knowing that lives in the body, below opinion and above doubt.This week's One Question is an invitation to push through the noise — the uncertainty, the overwhelm, the fire-hose of the world right now — and find the things you still know to be true. Not the grand philosophical ones necessarily, but the small, sensory, undeniable ones. The ones that hold in grief and in celebration, in confusion and in clarity.Drawing on philosopher Michael Polanyi's concept of tacit knowledge, Eugene Gendlin's somatic research on felt sense, and Antonio Damasio's neuroscience of embodied decision-making, this episode explores why the small certainties are often the most reliable — and why accessing them matters more than ever in uncertain times.This week's question: What do you know to be true, even now?

For much of her career in tech, Leah performed toughness. Not cynically — but she did it. She cultivated an edge, used bluster, took up a certain kind of space. And underneath all of it was someone who is, by her own description, fairly mushy: tender, gentle, deeply feeling. Not hard. Just strong. And those, it turns out, are not the same thing.This week's One Question opens with that distinction — between toughness as performance and strength as something real — and builds into a deeper exploration of what psychologists call the spotlight effect, what sociologist Erving Goffman observed about impression management and our invisible audiences, and what neuroscience tells us about the long-term cost of chronic emotional suppression. Because the performance has a cost. And many of us are still paying it for an audience that stopped watching long ago.This week's question: What would I do differently if no one was watching?

Spring doesn't ask permission. It simply comes — quietly, tentatively, and then all at once. And if we're paying attention, it has something to teach us about our own inner seasons.This week's episode of One Question uses spring as both metaphor and genuine invitation. Drawing on ancient seasonal wisdom from Celtic and Japanese traditions, Abraham Maslow's work on self-actualisation, Carol Dweck's research on growth mindset, and the neuroscience of neuroplasticity and seasonal serotonin rhythms, Leah explores what it means for something to be trying to bloom in us — and what gets in the way of letting it.Because something in us is always becoming. Always reaching, quietly, toward the light. The question isn't whether growth is possible. It's whether we're creating the conditions for it. And whether we're paying close enough attention to notice what's already stirring.This week's question: What is trying to bloom in me right now?

Today is International Women's Day 2026, and this week's episode is a personal one. Leah shares the stories of the women who changed the course of her life — her older sisters, who loved her with uncomplicated delight during years when love at home felt uncertain; her first grade teacher, Mrs. Arlen, who saw something in her worth championing and set in motion a chain of events that shaped her entire sense of herself; her early boss Margie Hewson, who stepped in quietly during an unmothered season and showed her what strength looks like when it doesn't require hardness; and the women who have walked alongside her as managers and peers throughout her career.Framed around the IWD 2026 theme of Give to Gain, and drawing on psychologist Jean Baker Miller's relational theory of how we develop ourselves through connection, this episode is an invitation to sit with the women who gave something to you — and to let yourself feel what that has meant. A question worth asking today, and every year: which women changed the course of who you are?

Earlier this week, Leah felt rage. The kind that burns — that arrives without warning and makes your body feel too small to contain it. And her first instinct, like most of ours, was to shut it down. To manage it. To make it stop. This episode begins with that moment and the choice she made instead: to let the feeling be there, to give it space, and then — once it had moved through — to regulate her nervous system back to ground.Because most of us were never taught how to feel. We were taught how to manage. And there's a difference.This episode explores what happens when we treat difficult emotions — rage, disappointment, grief, disgust — as problems to be solved rather than messages to be heard. The physiological cost of suppression. The surprising power of simply naming what you feel. And what it might look like to let an emotion complete its cycle rather than cutting it short.This week's question is quiet but significant: What emotion have you been treating as a problem to solve?

What does it mean to be truly inspired — not motivated, not impressed, but genuinely moved? This week's episode opens with the remarkable story of Gisèle Pelicot, the French woman who waived her anonymity in one of the most high-profile abuse trials in recent history, choosing courage over comfort so that others might feel less alone. Her story is the anchor for a deeper question: who inspires us, and what does that reveal about who we are and who we're becoming?Drawing on Jonathan Haidt's research on moral elevation, Aristotle's philosophy of admiration, self-expansion theory, and the neuroscience of mirror neurons, Leah explores how inspiration is never just about the person we're watching — it's a mirror. What we're moved by points directly at our values, our aspirations, and the qualities we already carry but may not have fully claimed. This episode is an invitation to sit with one person who genuinely moves you, and ask what that tells you about yourself.This week's question: Who inspires me and what does that tell me about myself?

Niceness keeps things pleasant. Kindness builds trust.In this episode of One Question, Leah explores the difference between being nice and being kind — and why the two are not interchangeable. Drawing on psychology, neuroscience, Brené Brown’s insight that “clear is kind,” and Gavin de Becker’s work on intuition and social conditioning, this episode examines how niceness can sometimes prioritize comfort over truth.From workplace culture to personal relationships, this reflection invites listeners to consider where they might be choosing approval over integrity — and what becomes possible when clarity replaces performance.This week’s question:Should I move from nice to kind?

When we consider change, we often focus on risk — what could go wrong, what might be lost, and how we’ll protect ourselves if things don’t work out. But staying the same is also a choice, and every choice carries consequences.In this episode of One Question, Leah explores the psychology and neuroscience behind risk-aversion, negativity bias, and status quo bias, alongside the emotional and personal costs that can accumulate when we ignore our deeper desires. Through grounded reflection and gentle motivation, this episode invites listeners to examine change through a broader lens — not with pressure, but with clarity.Drawing from behavioral science, Maslow’s thinking on self-actualization, and lived experience, this reflection reframes decision-making as a balance between risk and possibility.This week’s question:If nothing changes, what will it cost me?

In this episode of One Question, Leah explores how peace can exist even in the midst of uncertainty, noise, and difficult times. Drawing on personal experience, somatic awareness, and nervous system science, she reflects on how peace isn’t a global state we achieve when everything is okay — it’s something we can locate in small, embodied moments.Through a gentle guided exercise, listeners are invited to notice where peace lives in their own bodies and how that regulated state can support clearer thinking, grounded decision-making, and more sustainable action in the world.This week’s question:Where do I feel peace in my body?

Over the past eight years, Leah has moved across cities and countries — sometimes running from what was no longer safe, and sometimes choosing what felt quietly right.In this episode of One Question, she reflects on the difference between leaving something behind and consciously moving toward something new. Drawing on personal experience, nervous system science, values-based decision-making, and the psychology of transition, this episode explores how clarity changes when we’re no longer in survival mode.Whether you’re considering a move, a career change, or a shift in a relationship, this question invites a deeper kind of honesty.This week’s question:What am I moving toward, not just away from?

This week’s One Question episode starts with a small confession: Leah forgot to record and post this podcast episode! No drama. No crisis. Just a very human moment where something slipped through the cracks. But instead of turning that into self-criticism, this episode explores a more interesting question: how do we treat ourselves, and others, when we drop the ball?Through humor, nervous system insight, and everyday examples, this reflection looks at why forgetting happens, how quickly we turn small mistakes into character judgments, and what becomes possible when we choose grace over shame.This week’s question:How do I treat myself when I drop the ball?

January often pressures us to decide, plan, and move forward before we’re ready. But winter operates by different rules.In this episode of One Question, Leah explores how deep winter invites learning through stillness rather than action. Drawing on nature, nervous system awareness, and coaching insight, this reflection offers permission to pause, listen, and trust that not all growth is visible or immediate.If you’re feeling tired, uncertain, or behind, this episode offers a gentle reframe: maybe you’re not stuck. Maybe you’re learning exactly what winter is meant to teach.This week’s question:What is winter asking me to learn right now?

As the year comes to a close, there’s often pressure to summarize, extract lessons, or make everything mean something. But real life doesn’t always resolve on demand. Some truths don’t arrive as conclusions — they simply remain.In this season-ending episode of One Question, Leah invites you to pause and ask a quieter, more embodied question: What feels true at the end of this year? Drawing on psychology, nervous-system awareness, and gentle reflection, this episode offers space to let the year settle without judgment or urgency.This is not about achievement or resolutions. It’s about integration, honesty, and honoring what has stayed with you as the year comes to a close.

The holiday season is full of lists, expectations, and giving — often to the point where we forget ourselves entirely. But what if the most important gift this season isn’t something you buy or wrap?In this episode of One Question, Leah invites you to pause and ask a quieter, more honest question: What gift do I actually need right now? Drawing on psychology, nervous system awareness, and gentle self-reflection, she explores why listening to your needs isn’t indulgent — it’s essential.This episode is a permission slip to choose rest, honesty, space, or gentleness in a season that often asks us to do the opposite.

We talk about rest as though it’s optional — something we squeeze in once everything important is handled. But what if the real question isn’t how to rest, but why we’re afraid of it?In this episode, Leah explores the internalized fear and guilt many of us carry around slowing down. She shares a personal story about forgetting to record the podcast, the moment of guilt that followed, and the deeper truth underneath: sometimes rest is not a failure, but a necessity.Through neuroscience and psychology, she explains how rest restores emotional capacity, supports creativity, and regulates the nervous system — and why our bodies often know we need a pause long before our minds accept it.This is an invitation to question the stories you’ve been told about rest and to choose yourself with compassion.

Most of us assume we’re on our own side — until we start listening to how we talk to ourselves.In this episode, Leah explores what it really means to have your own back and why so many of us turn against ourselves in moments of doubt, fear, or discomfort.You’ll hear how attachment styles shape not only our relationships with others, but also our relationship with ourselves. Leah explains how “earned secure attachment” forms the foundation of self-loyalty, and how small, daily acts of backing yourself can shift your nervous system from vigilance to grounding.If you’ve been doubting yourself, shrinking, or giving your power away, this reflection offers a gentle invitation to stand with yourself again.

We all know what we want — clarity, joy, momentum, connection, ease. But the moment we ask, “What’s standing in my way?” something deeper emerges. Sometimes the obstacle is external. Sometimes it’s internal. And sometimes it’s a story we’ve carried for years without questioning it.In this episode, Leah explores the psychology of obstacles — from self-imposed barriers like fear and perfectionism to real external limitations — and how to tell the difference. You’ll hear how the body reacts when something internal is blocking you, how behavioral science explains our resistance to change, and how to decide whether to step over an obstacle, go around it, or face it head-on.If you’ve been feeling stuck or circling the same challenge, this reflection will help you meet the truth with honesty and compassion.

Most of us take ourselves far more seriously than we realize — tightening our shoulders, clenching our jaws, and carrying the weight of the world as if everything depends on us.But what if easing up, even just 10%, created more space, clarity, and grounding than constant intensity ever could?In this episode, Leah explores how loosening our grip opens creativity, connection, and emotional regulation. You’ll hear a playful personal reflection, insights from psychology and neuroscience about the power of laughter and play, and an invitation to experiment with softening just a little this week.If you’ve been feeling tense, overwhelmed, or overly responsible lately, this one might be the permission slip you didn’t know you needed.

Many of us believe we know our values—but when asked to name them, we often struggle. We say things like “I know it when I see it,” or “that goes against my values,” without realizing that clarity comes from naming, not guessing.In this episode, Leah explores the power of identifying what you truly value and how it shapes every decision, relationship, and moment of peace in your life. She shares her own four core values—curiosity, courage, connection, and personal agency—and how they guide her through discomfort or misalignment. You’ll also hear how she uses values work with coaching clients to create shared language and deeper awareness.If you’ve ever felt “off” without knowing why, this question might hold the key.

In a world that feels heavy with grief, injustice, and noise, how do we stay open without breaking? Leah explores the neuroscience of compassion fatigue, the importance of emotional regulation, and the quiet, practical rituals that bring us back to hope. She honors the strength of Black, Latinx, Indigenous, and LGBTQ+ communities; reflects on the resilience of young people; and reminds us that caring for ourselves is part of caring for the world.

Power often carries a bad reputation — associated with dominance, control, and fear. But real power is quieter. It’s born in truth, agency, and self-trust. In this episode, Leah reflects on how power can be reclaimed by those who care deeply, love honestly, and choose courage over performance. Through the lens of psychology, sociology, and personal experience, she explores how to find and hold power that connects rather than harms.One question...When do I feel most powerful?

What if loneliness isn’t something to escape—but something to understand?In this episode, Leah reflects on how modern life has made it easier than ever to be far from our people and how ancient biology still craves belonging. Drawing on neuroscience, Pema Chödrön’s “wisdom of loneliness,” and the gentle insight of John O’Donohue, she explores how sitting with loneliness can soften the heart, reveal what we long for, and call us back to genuine connection—with ourselves and others.

Sometimes the most powerful shift comes from asking the simplest question: What would be most helpful right now? In this episode, I explore how this question cuts through overwhelm, why it helps regulate our brains and bodies, and how asking it repeatedly can open surprising truths. You’ll hear a story of a client who transformed after facing this question three weeks in a row, and we’ll touch on neuroscience, psychology, and even poetry to guide you back to what you most need in this moment.

In this episode of One Question, we explore the messy middle of being human: the ability to hold two conflicting feelings at the same time. From grief and relief, to love and anger, to joy and sorrow—duality shows up everywhere in our lives. Psychology calls it cognitive dissonance, philosophy calls it paradox, and spirituality calls it duality. Whatever the name, the invitation is the same: stop rushing to choose one side and instead practice holding both.The question is: Can I hold two conflicting feelings at the same time?

We are all born with the full spectrum of emotions — but most of us quickly learn that only some are “allowed.” Happiness is always safe. Men are often permitted anger. Women are allowed sadness. But confusion, fear, disappointment, or rage? Those are pushed aside, minimized, or punished.In this week’s episode of One Question, I explore how families, culture, and systems like patriarchy and capitalism narrow the range of emotions we feel safe expressing. I share my own story of growing up as the youngest of five — where crying, fear, and hopefulness were labeled as crybaby, scaredy-cat, or Pollyanna — and how that shaped the way I learned to flatten my emotions.Together, we’ll reflect on why emotions are not weaknesses but signals, how suppression only makes them stronger, and why finding safe people — whether loved ones, coaches, or therapists — is essential.This week’s question is simple, but it may open a door: Which emotions do you allow yourself to feel?

What’s something you’re still beating yourself up for—even though the moment has long passed? In this episode, Leah explores the neuroscience of regret, the gendered expectations around self-forgiveness, and the cultural stories that keep us stuck in shame.This isn’t about making excuses or avoiding accountability. It’s about naming the places where you’ve taken responsibility, learned the lesson, and still carry the weight.What if it’s time to put that story down?This week’s question:What are you ready to forgive yourself for?

We spend so much of life trying to arrive — to be the expert, the one who knows. But what if there’s something essential we lose when we leave our beginner self behind? This episode explores what it means to hold both confidence and curiosity, especially in times of change. Whether you’re shifting careers, moving countries, raising kids, or learning to let go of ego, this is an invitation to reconnect with the aliveness of not knowing — and to ask yourself:When did I stop being a beginner — and do I want that back?

Sometimes the heaviest burdens we carry aren’t ours at all. They’re the stories, labels, and quiet messages we’ve picked up from other people — and over time, they’ve become part of how we see ourselves.This week’s One Question explores why we hold on to these inherited narratives, how they shape our identity, and what it takes to finally set them down. Through a childhood memory of walking with my dad, pockets full of rocks, we’ll talk about the science of how identity stories form, why we keep believing them even when they’re untrue, and the small but powerful ways we can release them.If you’ve been feeling weighed down, this might be your invitation to empty your pockets.

We all do it. We look away from the thing we already know, because facing it might require us to change. This week’s One Question explores the psychology of self-deception, the quiet relief that comes from telling yourself the truth, and why naming what you’re pretending not to know is the first step toward freedom.Through the story of Maya, a client who avoided admitting her marriage was over, my own experience leaving accounting, and a surprising confession from tennis legend Andre Agassi, we’ll explore how pretending not to know drains us, and how honesty with ourselves can open the door to the life we actually want.

This week’s question is: How would I live my life if I wasn’t worried about the future at all?In a world filled with uncertainty and fear, it’s easy to let worry drive our choices — at work, at home, and in our relationships. In this episode, Leah explores what it might look like to live, lead, and love from a place of trust instead of fear.Drawing from psychology, somatic wisdom, and leadership insights, Leah unpacks how chronic worry narrows our thinking, dims our joy, and limits our impact — and how we can start shifting, even in small ways, toward a more grounded and courageous way of being.A short but powerful reflection on hope, presence, and the possibility of joy — even when the future feels unclear.

How do you know when something is truly over? In this episode, Leah explores the subtle signals we often ignore...gut feelings, body cues, and the quiet voice that tells us when a job, relationship, or belief has run its course. Through a personal story about leaving the church and trusting her intuition, Leah invites you to notice the truth your body already knows. Because sometimes, the real question isn’t “Is it over?”—it’s “Am I willing to listen?”

There’s a playful but powerful question from Warren Berger’s Book of Beautiful Questions: “What’s your tennis ball?”It’s the thing you chase like a dog after a ball—joyfully, instinctively, with full-body yes energy. In this episode, I share how that question helps uncover passion, purpose, and presence. I also talk about my own “tennis balls” (coaching, leading groups, and writing stories that surprise me), and why following what lights you up might be the wisest move of all.We explore the neuroscience of flow, the cost of ignoring your joy, and how you can begin to follow the breadcrumbs of what’s calling you now.

This episode asks a quiet but powerful question: When do I feel most at peace with myself?Not when you’re productive. Not when people are praising you. But when your nervous system finally exhales and says, this feels safe.Peace isn’t passive. It’s an intentional return to yourself. And sometimes, it starts with one question. This one is for anyone feeling overextended, overwhelmed, or overdue for an exhale

So many of us grew up believing that struggle = value. That things only count if we pour ourselves out, leave nothing on the table, and make it hard. But… what if that’s not true?In this episode, I ask the deceptively simple question: What would this look like if it were easy?I share how I’ve been unlearning the urge to overcomplicate, over-effort, and over-function—especially in situations that were never mine to carry. We talk about nervous system regulation, effort justification in psychology, and what shifts when we choose ease instead of proving our worth.This is a soft invitation. A small rebellion. A reminder that ease is allowed. And often… it’s wiser. Ideal for anyone prone to burnout, perfectionism, or “if I don’t do it, it won’t get done” thinking

Sometimes we say yes when we really mean no—not because we want to, but because we’re afraid not to. In this episode, Leah unpacks the emotional toll of people-pleasing, unpacks the psychology behind self-abandonment, and shares a personal story of what changed when she started honoring her no. Consider this One Question: What do I keep saying yes to that I don't actually want?This is a reflection for anyone who’s ever said yes out of guilt, fear, or habit—and is ready to start saying yes to themselves instead.Includes practical reflection questions, nervous system awareness, and a gentle reminder: your time and energy matter, too.

When we think about who we wanted to be as kids, we often focus on the job title. But what if we looked deeper? In this episode, Leah shares a tender story of childhood dreams, chaos, and healing—and invites you to ask a question that reframes your inner narrative: What would my 8-year-old self cheer me on for today?With warmth, honesty, and a dose of psychology, this reflection will help you reconnect with the resilient parts of yourself that got you here—and celebrate them.Includes journaling prompts and a gentle invitation to meet yourself with grace.

Joy isn’t always loud—and it’s not always easy to find. In this episode, Leah shares why joy runs deeper than happiness, how it often shows up in moments of flow or connection, and what neuroscience and research tell us about choosing joy on purpose. With personal stories and a warm invitation to reflect, this episode asks: Where is the joy lately? And have you been following it?

Avoidance feels protective—but it often keeps us stuck in pain far longer than necessary. In this episode, Leah shares a personal story of heartbreak and the moment she stopped avoiding the truth. With a grounding reflection and a powerful prompt, this episode invites you to ask: What am I avoiding, and what might happen if I faced it instead?

After years of burnout and bending to everyone else’s needs, one question changed everything for me: How do I want my life to feel? In this first episode, I share the story behind that question and why I still use it as my compass today.

Welcome to One Question—a short weekly podcast hosted by Leah Farmer.Every Sunday, I’ll share one powerful question worth sitting with. Not to fix or figure out—but to feel into. These are the questions that changed my life during burnout, heartbreak, and reinvention.In each 10-minute-or-less episode, I’ll tell a short story, and leave you with one question to walk with through the week.The first episode drops this Sunday (June 1st). Until then… How do you want your life to feel?