Patterns Between Us Podcast

Sometimes the deepest pattern isn't with a partner. It's with yourself — the quiet ways you keep leaving yourself behind, even in the rooms you worked hardest to enter.In this special Field Notes episode, Cyd reflects on what surfaced for her during the Black Women Invent (BWI) experience — and the pattern of self-abandonment she watched move through the room and through herself. With honesty and care, she names the way Black women often pour out without ever pouring in, and what it costs to keep doing that.In this episode:What self-abandonment actually looks like (and why it's rarely loud)Why high-achieving women are often the most disconnected from their own needsThe difference between being responsible and being depletedWhy naming the pattern is the first step to interrupting itA question to sit with this week:Where in your life are you consistently leaving yourself behind — and what would it look like to come back?Subscribe to Patterns Between Us so you don't miss what's next. And if this episode named something for you, share it with someone who's been quietly asking the same questions.🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts | Spotify This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit patternsbetweenuspodcast.substack.com

Most of us think our patterns started with a heartbreak or a hard relationship. The truth is, the blueprint was already being written before we said our first word.EPISODE SUMMARYIn Episode 2, Cyd takes you back further than most conversations about relational patterns ever go — to the womb, to your earliest caretakers, to the emotional environment you were formed inside of before you had any language for what was happening. With clinical depth and personal warmth, she traces how your nervous system began learning what connection feels like long before your first relationship.KEY TAKEAWAYS* Why your nervous system began organizing in utero, not at birth* What your relationship with your mother taught you about emotional safety* What your relationship with your father taught you about being valued and chosen* How siblings (or their absence) shaped your sense of belonging* Why your earliest experiences are still running in the background of every adult relationshipREFLECTION QUESTIONWhat was the emotional environment you were born into and what did connection feel like with the people who were most consistently present in your earliest years?CALL TO ACTIONSubscribe to Patterns Between Us so you don’t miss what’s next. And if this episode named something for you, share it with someone who’s been quietly asking the same questions. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit patternsbetweenuspodcast.substack.com

Episode 1: Why Do I Keep Ending Up in the Same Relationship?Same feeling. Same dynamic. Different person — but somehow it all starts to feel familiar.In this first episode, therapist Cyd McDaniel, LCSW, offers a gentle shift: away from what’s wrong with me? and toward a more useful question — what feels familiar here? She explores why we’re wired to move toward what’s known, even when it doesn’t feel good, and why the pull you feel toward certain people isn’t a flaw. It’s a signal.This week’s practice: Notice what feels familiar in your relationships — not just what feels good, but what feels known. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit patternsbetweenuspodcast.substack.com