Remembering You

This week, we are stepping into a conversation about the deep current of our values and desires.Many of us have gone through those abstract corporate values exercises, but values are far more central than a list on a wall. They are the "North Star" that helps us decide whether to move right or left in any given moment. But what happens when the values you’re living by aren't actually yours?We often inherit a life—expectations, roles, and fears—long before we are able to choose one. We might be doing "everything right" and still feel a certain deadness inside, or find that our souls have gone quiet because we are living too far from our own center.In this episode, we explore:Duty vs. Control: Unpacking the idea that "duty is ours and consequences are God’s" and how to let go of micromanaging outcomes.The Evolution of Value: Why it's okay (and natural) for values to shift from rigid childhood rules to dynamic, living "verbs".Coming Alive: Distinguishing between shallow surface cravings and the deep soul-longings that act as the animating force of our lives.The Gift of Heartbreak: How grief and loss often reveal what we truly love and what actually matters to us now.Whether you are feeling stuck in a "trance" of cultural expectations or simply wondering where your "deep gladness" meets the world’s hunger, this episode is an invitation to reorganize your life around what makes you come alive. Because, as poet David Whyte reminds us, anything that does not bring you alive is simply too small for you.************Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | https://link.rememberingyou.life/RrMGJn Facebook | https://link.rememberingyou.life/NOqNbk Subscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | Spotify | iHeartRadio | YouTube Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com

"...knowledge is limited...while imagination embraces the entire world..."When Albert Einstein dropped that truth bomb, he wasn't just talking about physics—he was pointing toward a vital, often forgotten part of our human operating system. In a world that prizes the "rational" to the point of burnout, have we accidentally divorced ourselves from the very capacity that makes life feel meaningful? In this episode, we explore the Imaginal System—the bridge between the objective world "out there" and the subjective world "in here." We dive into why treating your body like a machine is a trap, and how the "transjective" way of seeing can turn a routine Monday into a fresh start. In this conversation, we wonder through:The $10,000 word for reality that might change how you see your morning coffee. How a toddler’s curiosity about a Texas wildflower reveals the scale of our internal world. The surprising connection between EMDR, ancient desert mystics, and the "sonar of the soul."Why "acting as if" your silverware is alive might actually be the most practical thing you do all day. Whether you’re battling a problem that logic can’t solve or you’re just tired of feeling like a "head being carried around by a body," this episode is an invitation to see again. Visit us at rememberingyou.life to join our upcoming circle.Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | https://link.rememberingyou.life/RrMGJn Facebook | https://link.rememberingyou.life/NOqNbk Subscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunesSpotifyiHeartRadioYouTube Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com

Is aging a problem to be solved, or an initiation to be entered? In a culture obsessed with "age-defying" creams, AI-smoothed wrinkles, and the frantic pursuit of perpetual youth, we often lose the map to our own elderhood. This week on Remembering You, we explore the profound transition from the "first half of life"—focused on building identity and ego—into the spacious, often disruptive landscape of the second. Through the lens of hospice bedside vigils, shamanic "soul retrieval," and the internal parts of ourselves we’ve long exiled, we wonder: Is it possible to age with grace without an axe to grind?  We dive into the "holy fool" archetype, the evolution of the feminine voice in midlife, and the quiet, revolutionary power of an imagined grandmother’s council. How can we find presence when everything around us is so focused on productivity?

Everyone has heard about “the soul.”But what the heck does that really mean?Is it a religious concept?A psychological one?Something mystical?Or just a word we inherited from antiquity?In this episode we unpack the strange, slippery idea of the soul—and what people might mean when they talk about “doing soul work.”Ryan shares the framework he grew up with inside the Christian tradition (body, mind, soul… and sometimes spirit), while Aliceanne reflects on why the concept confused her for years—and why she’s still not sure she's fully figured it out.Turns out the conversation about the soul is less about certainty… and more about learning how to sit with open-ended questions that might not have a clear answer.If you like these kinds of conversations and want to experience them in real life, join us for The Circle! We host it twice a month, and it's absolutely free. Sign up here: https://rememberingyou.life/circle Instagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifePodcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com

Join us for a wide‑open journey into the heart of Big Bend National Park. In this special road‑trip episode, we take you with us—Jeep noise, canyon echoes, desert silence and all—as we wander through rugged mountains, river‑carved canyons, star‑strewn skies, and the inner landscapes that mirror them.Across long stretches of highway and high‑desert trails, we explore the art of slowing down, listening deeply, and letting nature be the teacher. You’ll hear conversations about love, liminal spaces, boundaries, grief, soul work, perspective, partnership, and the kind of stillness you can only find under a vast desert sky.From the wildness of the Chihuahuan Desert to the quiet of a sunset at our campsite… from a 10‑mile mountain climb to the soft landing of “one foot in front of the other”… this episode is an intimate, unscripted window into presence, being human, and remembering who we are.Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | https://link.rememberingyou.life/RrMGJn Facebook | https://link.rememberingyou.life/NOqNbk 

Content note / Trigger Warning: In this episode, we touch on the topics of rape and sexual assault. While the discussion is not graphic in nature, we recognize that these experiences are deeply personal and can be activating for some listeners. Please take care of yourself as you listen, or skip this episode.Ever feel like you're either absorbing everyone else's emotions until you're completely drained… or you've built walls so high that even the people you love can't get close? 😅 Welcome to a deep, funny, and gently life-altering dive into BOUNDARIES — the invisible lines that let you stay connected without losing yourself.In this episode, we unpack:​Why boundaries feel like a developmental rite of passage (spoiler: adulting doesn't automatically grant boundary mastery)​How your nervous system is the real boundary whisperer (tight shoulders? yucky gut? That's boundary data!)​The art of the clean yes and the compassionate no (Jesus & Taylor Swift already agree: shake it off when needed)​Real stories of messy boundary fails, corporate email creep, pushy "helpful" people, and the sacred middle way between rigid rules and anything-goes chaos​Moving from people-pleasing goo → healthy interdependence (with accountability, because love without limits isn't love)Whether you're burnt out from saying yes when your soul screams no, navigating toxic teams, dating in your 40s, parenting consent, or just trying not to let the dishwasher become a moral crisis... this one's for you.Grab a breath, feel your feet, and join us as we remember the power of knowing where you end—and where wonder begins.-------If you like what you hear and want more, we host a twice-monthly "Circle" where we practice the art of being human. Sign up on our website: www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | https://link.rememberingyou.life/RrMGJn Facebook | https://link.rememberingyou.life/NOqNbk Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com#RememberingYou

Forgiveness is one of those words we think we understand… until life asks something harder of us.In this episode, we step beneath the surface of the word itself—into its roots, its texture, its demand. Not as a moral rule. Not as a spiritual bypass. But as a lived, relational, moment-to-moment practice that becomes most real when we are hurt, triggered, or disoriented.We open a personal window into the places where forgiveness is anything but abstract—where polarity escalates, where the inner world turns muddy, where distance quietly replaces connection. And from inside that tension, a different question begins to emerge:What if forgiveness isn’t something you grant after justice…but something you practice before resolution? What if it's not about "letting people off the hook", but more about what happens in our own inner world? Together we explore the radical, non-transactional nature of release—the slow unclenching of the fist… the courage it takes to loosen our grip on resentment, identity, and even the stories we tell about harm.Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | https://link.rememberingyou.life/RrMGJn Facebook | https://link.rememberingyou.life/NOqNbk 

This week we chase the current that runs through everything alive: Polarity.The delicious ache of tension begging for release. The magnet that repels until it flips and slams together. The childhood fight that ends in tears and then inseparable play. The first-date silence that crackles louder than words.We talk about how trying not to think about the pink elephant only makes it stomp louder. How suppressing desire (lust, money, power) doesn’t kill the hunger—it just feeds the shadow. How most Western “tantra” scenes skip the hard part—ethics, discipline, healthy boundaries—and wonder why things go sideways.And we get personal: how that same polarity turned our early dates from guarded handshakes into bunk-bed breakthroughs, tent forts and all.If you’re caught in burnout (too much tension, no release), numbness (too much release, no edge), or the endless grab for more, this is your reminder: the poles aren’t the problem. They’re the map.Breathe. Feel your feet on the ground. You’ve just stepped to the edge where meaning is made.

Now that you CAN talk, let's talk about Power! Ever wonder why Power feels like a sneaky puppet master pulling your strings without you even noticing? Turns out, your baby brain was basically in zombie mode 24/7 (for two whole years!)—deep, slow waves designed to absorb every vibe around you like a cosmic sponge, wiring you for lifelong control quirks. Join us as we unpack the secrets of Power: from the lightning-fast gut reactions that outpace your thoughts to reclaiming it as a shared force that sparks dignity, truth, and epic flourishing. Are you playing Power's game, or rewriting the rules? Get ready to laugh, squirm, and level up—no arm-wrestling required.——————————Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.life

What are emotions—and why do they feel so overwhelming sometimes?In this episode, we slow things down and return to the basics. We explore what emotions actually are, where they come from, and how they show up in the body before we ever put words or stories to them.Rather than treating emotions as problems to fix or manage away, we look at them as meaningful signals—messengers pointing toward what matters, what hurts, and what needs care or attention.Together, we talk about:Why emotions are not random or irrationalHow emotions show up in the body before they become thoughtsThe difference between feeling an emotion and being ruled by itWhy learning emotional literacy is essential—for work, relationships, and inner lifeWhy suppressing them isn't strengthThis conversation sets the foundation for future episodes where we’ll explore values, boundaries, our relationship to power, and how our inner emotional world mirrors what we see playing out collectively in the world around us.If you’ve ever thought “I don’t know what I’m feeling” or “I feel too much,” this episode is an invitation to pause, listen, and begin again—with curiosity instead of control.(And If you're looking for a free, no-pressure, simple space to practice getting to know your emotions, join us every other Wednesday at The Circle! https://rememberingyou.life/circle) ——————————Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.life

What happens when you spring a “light Saturday morning topic” like the nature of consciousness on your partner… with zero warning? Apparently: a little groaning, a lot of laughter, some Sanskrit (attempted), and a surprisingly practical path back to the body.In this episode, we wander through a few verses from a 14th Century Buddhist text titled Dṛg-Dṛśya-Viveka (discernment between the seer and the seen), tease apart mind vs. awareness as Aliceanne wrestles with a question: “I understand this conceptually… so why don’t I feel it? Do I even really understand this?” Along the way we pull in Alan Watts, Ram Dass, Rupert Spira, the Dalai Lama, Aristotle, and a very credible spiritual teacher named Taylor Swift (because sometimes dancing alone in your living room tells the truth faster than your thoughts do).We also explore a grounded, here-and-now take on Christianity's "Second Coming”, the surprisingly life-giving practice of numbering our days, and why touch and presence might be more “mystical” (and more necessary) than any big peak experience. We close with an impromptu guided meditation on the idea of a “heart of wisdom.”Note: This episode includes some strong language (Aliceanne drops an f-bomb once and awhile) and candid conversation about spirituality, mortality, and embodied practice. If you listen all the way through, congratulations—you’re officially one of our special people.Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.life

Step into 2026 as we explore the timeless allure of "out with the old, in with the new." From ancient Mesopotamian vows and Japanese bell rituals to Scottish first-footings and Black Church Watch Night gatherings, discover how cultures worldwide have marked new beginnings with cleansing, reflection, and communal hope. Dive into the psychology of habits through the "Four P's of Cognition," backed by fascinating studies—like how hotel maids reshaped their bodies just by shifting their mindset—and learn why 92% of resolutions flop (and how to beat the odds). Wrap up with a soothing guided meditation to reflect on the past year, release what no longer serves, and recommit to your deepest values. Whether you're darning old socks or dreaming up retreats, this episode is your invitation to pause, breathe, and step forward with intention—perfect for anyone craving a fresh, soulful start to the year. Tune in and remember: perspective changes everything.https://rememberingyou.life

In this mind-bending (and heart-opening) episode, we dive headfirst into the delicious mysteries that make life so wonderfully weird: Jesus and aliens. Yes, really.From precognitive studies that suggest we know the future before it happens, to red birds carrying messages from lost loved ones, telepathic connections, and those persistent UFO sightings making headlines—we wrestle with the big questions: What’s real? What’s projection? And does it even matter if we can’t prove it?We explore how rigid dogma (religious or scientific) can block wonder, why doubt is actually a superpower, and how “flow” isn’t about forcing outcomes but surrendering to life’s subtle current. Along the way, we deconstruct enlightenment myths, challenge the pedestalizing of advanced consciousness, and ask: Is collective consciousness conjuring aliens… or are they really out there saying hello?Ultimately, we land on a gentle truth: We don’t have to solve life’s mysteries to let them transform us. Mystery itself is an ally walking us home.Perfect for anyone who’s ever stared at the stars and wondered, “Are we alone… or just forgetting how connected we truly are?”Join us for laughter, vulnerability, and a little cosmic humility.---------Head to our website for this episode's resources or to sign up for our FREE twice-monthly relational, sometimes silly, sometimes serious space: The Circle. https://rememberingyou.life

Now that the work of studying Cognitive Development Theory (whew!) is finished, let's have some fun with perspectives! We open up about experiences that defy conventional explanation—moments of intuitive knowing, energetic connections, synchronicities, and what many might label "supernatural." From astral travel in a college dorm room and prophetic visions to feeling loved ones transitioning on their death bed and unexpected guidance from strangers, we share our stories to normalize these glimpses of a deeper reality.We explore what happens as mystery shifts from threat to ally, and how the universe reflects back unconditional support when we loosen our grip on control. Drawing inspiration from voices like cognitive scientist Dr. John Vervaeke, we invite a way of living that trusts life’s intelligent flow.If you've ever dismissed your own "woo-woo" moments or wondered if there's more support available than we've been taught—this conversation is for you. We're glad you're here. -------Sign up for our free, twice-monthly relational practice space at https://rememberingyou.life/circle

In this final episode of our Ego Development series, we dive deep into the fifth person perspective — where we poke our heads above the clouds into MetAware tier and awaken to awareness itself to see how our minds construct reality.Through metaphors like stepping outside a house you've built your entire life, analogies from learning to drive, and insights from spiritual teachers (Eckhart Tolle, Ramana Maharshi, Rupert Spira), scientists (Donald Hoffman, Einstein), philosophers (Charles Eisenstein), and artists (Alex Grey [featured for this episode's art] and M.C. Escher), we explore the profound shift from seeking objective truth to embracing the constructed, paradoxical nature of experience.Discover why this stage feels both destabilizing and liberating, how language and perception shape what we see, and why "waking up" doesn't mean escaping pain — but holding it all with compassion.We've included shortcuts to some of the artists and scientists mentioned in this episode for you to explore further. The excerpt of Eckhart Tolle was from his "Realizing the Power of Now" audiobook, which is a recording from a 5 day retreat.A deep-dive into this week's episode can be found here: https://rememberingyou.life/episode-12 Sign up for our free, twice-monthly "human skills gym" called The Circle at: https://rememberingyou.life/circle

Recently, Aliceanne sat down with her friend Kan Yan on his podcast Parents Reimagined. They talked about her relationship with her mother, and how it's changed since her death more than 15 years ago. Importantly, how she moved from rebellion and judgement to compassion, peace, and gratitude. If you're in the process of making sense of your relationship with your parents, please check out Parents Reimagined - a comprehensive resource dedicated to helping adults navigate and improve their relationships with their parents.

Let's unpack the wild, messy, and often misunderstood world of Fourth-Person Perspective!What does polyamory, cancel culture, and synchronicities have in common? What about the sudden realization that identity itself is fluid and co-created? We explore why this stage feels both liberating and disorienting, awe-inspiring and crazy-making - for both the people in 4th PP and those around them who think they've lost their minds! You’ll hear personal stories of deconstructing faith, noticing co-dependency in relationships, and learning to hold complexity without losing your ground.Whether you’re exhausted by culture wars, secretly rolling your eyes at “woke” drama, or just trying to understand why everything feels so relative these days — this episode will help you see the bigger developmental picture with more compassion (for yourself and everyone else).Plus: two short grounding practices to pull you out of perspectival madness and back into your body.If you're looking for some real-time practice at engaging with your humanness, join us in The Circle. A free, twice-monthly relational space facilitated by Ryan & Aliceanne. Sign up today at https://rememberingyou.life/circle And for a deep dive into this episode: https://rememberingyou.life/episode-11 Instagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Podcast intro and outro music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com"Ice Road Sunrise" and "Dusk" is the music behind the guided meditations by Eric Matyas at www.soundimage.org

Welcome to the 3rd Person Perspective! This is the worldview that built the modern world and (depending on the study) where most of us reside, often quietly exhausting ourselves with an endless to-do list and the voice that says, "when I reach that goal, then I'll feel better".We explore the shift to a self-authored identity, where who you are is more about your own beliefs and achievements, rather than group roles and expectations. To "see" this change, we introduce you to Harvard psychologist Robert Kegan's subject-object shift. At 3rd PP, one of the huge shifts we make turns unconscious judgments into objects of awareness we can work with for the first time. We also share a significant announcement about a free online "human skills gym" called The Circle. Sign up today at https://rememberingyou.life/circle Here's a deep dive into 3rd PP: https://rememberingyou.life/episode-10 Or, you can learn about ego development by watching movies and TV shows! https://rememberingyou.life/movies Instagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP CHAPTERS00:00 Welcome: Gathering the parts of yourself01:29 Announcement: Introducing The Circle, a free online skill gym05:08 Entering the Third Person Perspective (The Modern World)08:28 What is Third Person Perspective? (The Dream Director)09:49 The Shift to a Self-Authored Identity11:09 Development Is Not Wholeness: Complexity vs. Wisdom14:42 The Subject-Object Shift: Making the Invisible Visible27:56 Exploring the Expert Stage: The Power of Right Answers35:46 Exploring the Achiever Stage: Managing for Results37:16 The Achiever's Shadow: Trying to Fix What Can't Be Fixed45:26 Third Person vs. Fourth Person: The Painful Impasse49:33 Reflection: Finding Worth Beyond Achievement53:17 Conclusion and The Next Stage PreviewPodcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com

In this second episode of our ego development series, we explore what it's like to move out of a 1st person perspective, and into the 2nd: the rule-oriented and conformist perspectives. We talk about how kids first discover empathy and shame, how adults organize identity around rules, roles, and group norms, and where loyalty becomes both social glue and a cage. We also unpack the “nice person” and “rebel” shadows, then close with two practices—a somatic yes/no boundary check-in and an inner rulebook audit—to help you keep the rules that protect belonging and gently retire the ones that just protect fear.To watch this stage come alive on your screen, check this link with movie and TV clips that highlight each stage of development. https://rememberingyou.life/ego-development-via-movies-other-media CHAPTERS:00:00 – Welcome & Stage Two Intro01:32 – What Is Second-Person Perspective?04:40 – Kids, Empathy & the Birth of Shame09:15 – Rule-Oriented Stage12:38 – Conformist Stage19:15 – How Stage Two Shaped Society23:38 – Gifts of Rules, Loyalty & Structure35:06 – Shadows of People-Pleasing & Legalism41:55 – Shadows of the Rebel51:05 – Guided Practice: Yes/No Boundary Check-In55:07 – Guided Practice: Inner Rulebook Audit1:02:21 – Key Takeaways & Next Stage PreviewWebsite | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com

In this first installment of our Ego Development Series, we explore the earliest stage of human meaning-making: the impulsive, egocentric world of Stage One. This is the part of us that wants what it wants right now—the toddler inside who hasn’t yet learned perspective, patience, or planning… but who carries our instinct, vitality, imagination, and raw life force.We trace how this stage forms in childhood, how it continues to show up in adulthood (yes, including road rage and grocery line chaos), and why every one of us still returns to this level under stress. We also talk about the gifts of Stage One—intuition, courage, embodied power, and imaginal creativity—and its shadows of impulsivity, narcissism, and reactivity.You’ll hear stories, real-life examples, and two guided practices: a grounding exercise to embody healthy power, and an imaginal practice to re-parent your younger self with compassion and steadiness. We close with reflection questions to help you recognize where Stage One appears in your life and relationships—and how to work with it lovingly rather than judging it.​For a deeper dive, read this episode's page on our website: https://rememberingyou.life/episode-8 ​Or, learn about ego development by watching movie clips! https://rememberingyou.life/ego-development-via-movies-other-media ​Standalone versions of the 2 guided practices in this episode are available on our Patreon: https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj⁠ CHAPTERS:00:00 – Welcome00:39 – Series Begins01:37 – Why Ego Development Matters02:30 – History of Ego Development06:34 – Five Perspectives Overview13:30 – What Is Stage One?14:41 – Childhood Expressions17:03 – Adult Expressions20:49 – Early Needs: Safety & Boundaries21:20 – Grocery Line Example24:20 – Stress & Impulse26:04 – Healthy Stage One30:05 – Unhealthy Stage One35:00 – We All Have Stage One36:04 – Healing Stage One41:06 – Grounding Practice46:04 – Inner Toddler Practice49:30 – Supporting Stage One52:07 – Self-Reflection Questions55:27 – Driving Story58:08 – Summary & Stage Two PreviewWebsite | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com

We all know we have emotions, but for many folks, telling the difference between a thought and a feeling can be tricky! We mentioned the Feelings Wheel as a great resource for building better discernment. https://feelingswheel.com (best viewed on a desktop or laptop screen). Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj

What exactly is the ego—and why does everyone keep telling us to get rid of it? In this episode, we meet the part of us that wants to look good, stay safe, and maybe (just maybe) get invited onto Rupert Spira’s podcast. From Freud’s 1923 definition of the ego, to the modern-day midlife crisis, we explore how the ego tries to run the show… and what happens when it burns out.Along the way, you’ll hear Meatloaf impressions, priest jokes, and a surprising story about HOA trash cans (yes, really). We unpack shadow work, talk about how the body tattles on our emotions, and explain why your mouth goes dry when you’re about to tell the truth. Aliceanne connects the dots between ego and the Enneagram, while Ryan shares what it’s like to reclaim the heart he once held back.By the end, you’ll see why ego isn’t the villain—it’s just the overworked intern of your soul, trying its best to keep the system running. The real journey, they remind us, is learning to let that earnest little intern rest while your deeper Self takes the wheel.(Thank you AI for letting us look like superheroes in this episode's cover art.) Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com#RememberingYou #Enneagram #Illuman #SecondHalfOfLife #Ego00:00 – Opening & intro01:17 – Meeting the ego: voices in the back seat03:20 – Ryan’s early view of sin, flesh, and ego05:08 – What the ego really is: Freud’s id, ego, and superego09:33 – Why we need ego to function10:30 – When the ego starts to run the show11:25 – Healthy ego in action: teaching at Dell15:26 – Why “ego” became a dirty word17:03 – Shadow and the parts we hide21:46 – Reclaiming the light we’ve hidden25:00 – The body’s wisdom in shadow work30:58 – Boundaries vs. avoidance35:49 – Introducing the Enneagram: personality as ego pattern39:48 – Seeing ourselves clearly through the Enneagram43:52 – Blind spots and feedback from others47:05 – Ryan’s reflections on type 9 and the fear of rejection50:51 – When ego strategies stop working52:19 – Richard Rohr and the two halves of life57:00 – Ego death and midlife transformation01:02:00 – Women, patriarchy, and the feminine journey01:04:00 – True Self vs. False Self01:09:00 – Aliceanne on exhaustion and the slow art of rest01:15:00 – The sacred container cracking open01:18:00 – Healthy masculinity & the archetypes01:22:00 – The Hero’s and Heroine’s Journeys01:27:00 – Wholeness beyond separateness01:29:00 – Closing reflections & invitationYouTube video mentioned about The Heroine's Journey: https://youtu.be/oeVHp2DtZjg?si=ngwPW4tPUu9l4sEW

Aliceanne shares some thoughts with her LinkedIn community after a post she made announcing the Remembering You podcast launch - folks wondered what the title of the podcast means... why "Remembering You"? She talks about why movie The Matrix is a great pointer for why "waking up" feels like remembering something you've always known, but just temporarily forgotten.Read the original LinkedIn post here: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/aliceanneschmidt_slowliving-consciousness-lifetransition-share-7392220703346851840-XZol Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj

Ever wonder why your person pulls away or clings tight when chaos hits? We’re spilling the tea on attachment styles + ways to be their safe harbor when they’re dysregulated.Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj 

Join us as we explore one of the most fundamental systems of the human psyche — the attachment system.Beginning with Ryan's raw honesty of his “bunker mode,” we trace how our earliest experiences of safety and connection become the internal compass that guides how we love, trust, and belong throughout life. Drawing on the work of John Bowlby and Dr. Dan Brown, the conversation travels from developmental psychology to contemplative practice — from the map to the terrain.You’ll hear how attachment styles form (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized), what they feel like in everyday life, and how they can transform through safe relationships, mindfulness, and the rediscovery of something larger holding us all.Ryan leads a grounding meditation that reawakens the felt sense of safety and belonging in the body. Together, we explore what it means to experience external safety with others, internal safety within ourselves, and transpersonal safety with life itself.Blending neuroscience, spirituality, and lived experience, this conversation is a gentle reminder: safety isn’t something we earn — it’s something we remember.00:00 – Welcome to Remembering You00:58 – Ryan’s “bunker mode” — from strength to shutdown03:45 – When triggers flip the nervous system05:55 – “Make me better” — why fixing doesn’t work07:12 – The map vs. the terrain of healing10:00 – The roots of attachment and the need for safety11:08 – What is the attachment system?12:00 – Why belonging is as vital as breathing13:07 – The three questions we’re always asking: Am I lovable? Are others reliable? Is the world safe?21:10 – John Bowlby and the birth of attachment theory24:00 – The internal working model — our human operating code25:05 – Grounding practice: finding safety in the body30:00 – Feeling held by the ground — safety that precedes us33:00 – Remembering, not learning35:07 – How attachment styles form36:37 – Secure attachment — the base for connection and autonomy46:00 – When leaders model secure attachment47:00 – Insecure attachment: anxious, avoidant, and disorganized52:00 – The anxious attachment strategy53:10 – The avoidant attachment strategy (“bunker mode”)56:00 – How stress makes us shift between styles57:00 – Disorganized attachment and the fear–love paradox59:50 – Healing patterns — building new neural roads1:00:25 – Enter Dr. Dan Brown — repairing attachment in adulthood1:02:20 – The three layers of safety: external, internal, transpersonal1:05:55 – Ryan’s story of men’s council and belonging1:07:04 – Attunement and being truly seen1:08:15 – Reparenting and internal caregiving1:10:11 – Metacognition — being the witness, not the storm1:17:00 – Fear and the steady presence that holds it1:19:00 – Transpersonal safety and trust in life itself1:21:50 – Remembering you are held by something larger1:23:01 – Reflection: who helps you feel safe and loved?1:25:32 – Attachment in leadership, culture, and creativity1:27:31 – The Psalms and ancient echoes of secure attachment1:31:03 – The Buddhist refuge and co-regulation in community1:33:09 – Attachment at the end of life1:35:00 – Closing reflections and Rumi’s “The Guest House”Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com#RememberingYou

Attention shapes everything — what we notice, how we feel, and who we become.Aliceanne and Ryan explore the attentional system — the inner mechanism that determines what we see and what we miss. They move from the everyday (“why am I mad at the mailbox?”) into the sacred: how attention, when trained, becomes a doorway to healing, intimacy, and awakening.Drawing from neuroscience, psychology, and spiritual tradition, they weave together stories of emotional hijacking, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the blind spots we inherit from childhood, and how awareness transforms pain into wisdom. From Jesus and the Good Samaritan to modern meditation and the science of self-regulation, this is an episode about learning to see again — with the mind, the heart, and the whole of our being.Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj 00:00 – Arrival00:36 – Anniversary Reflections01:25 – What Is Attention, Really?02:44 – The Camera of Consciousness04:11 – A Simple Exercise in Seeing05:17 – When Attention Gets Hijacked08:00 – Turning Toward Pain or Away12:05 – Movement as Medicine - Putting One Foot in Front of the Other14:05 – The Ordinary Made Sacred20:00 – Why We Have an Attentional System21:19 – Maslow’s Hierarchy Revisited28:44 – The Systems of the Psyche33:34 – The Story of the Friend Who Never Felt Thirst39:00 – Seeing Through the Heart44:00 – Consider the Lilies48:49 – Attention, Attachment, and the Heart–Mind Dance53:00 – From Atonement to At-Onement56:03 – Infinite (and secular!) Doorways to the Divine1:01:04 – Attention as Healing Practice1:13:00 – Turning Toward Pain: The Practice of Sobriety & Healing our Addictions1:22:40 – Control vs. Intimacy1:24:33 – Being vs. Doing1:33:10 – Love as the Ground of Being1:37:00 – Attention as Openness1:41:00 – Practical Tools for Training Attention1:46:00 – Compassion as Gravity1:49:00 – Closing ReflectionsPodcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com#RememberingYou

Ryan and Aliceanne trace the winding, improbable path that brought them together — through grief, loss, and awakening. What began as a tender love story quickly became an initiation: one that shattered their old identities and opened them both to something larger than themselves.From first dates and bad eggplant parmesan to the mystical terrain of psychedelics, spiritual unraveling, and rediscovering love through consciousness itself — this episode is a raw, honest, and luminous account of what it means to meet your partner at the edge of transformation.They talk about falling in love amid grief, the cost of awakening, codependence and boundaries, and what it means to slow down enough to actually live. This is not just a love story; it’s a story about dying to who you were and remembering who you are.Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj 00:00 - Opening Invitation00:34 - Setting the Stage: “We kind of blew up each other’s lives”02:02 – Ryan’s Beginning: Re-entering the world after Bianca’s death and the strange pull to live again.05:00 – Ryan’s Cautious Heart: The slow thaw — learning to open again after heartbreak.07:20 – Their First Connection: Recognizing shared language, values, and a depth of being.09:00 – Falling in Love at Sunday Dinner: The moment Aliceanne fell in love — and the note Ryan wrote that night.13:00 – The First Dates: Black turtlenecks, bland eggplant parmesan, and the dance of restraint.18:00 – Holding Loosely: Learning not to grasp, hurry, or repeat old patterns of attachment.23:00 – Psychedelics Enter the Story: Ryan’s spiritual path meets Aliceanne’s doorway to consciousness.27:00 – The MDMA Experience: The night that opened everything — love, ego dissolution, and the unfiltered heart.33:00 – The Aftermath: Ryan’s year-long unraveling — panic, disorientation, and the void.39:00 – The Dark Night of the Soul: Spiritual crisis, therapy, and learning to live without ground.45:00 – The Healing Journey: Slow integration, faith, and daily practices for spiritual hygiene.50:00 – The Role of Psychedelics: Set, setting, and the mirror between heaven and the basement.55:00 – Leaving the Community: Grief, endings, and the alchemy of beginning anew in the forest.59:00 – Learning Boundaries & Intimacy: Unraveling codependence and learning to hold themselves and each other.1:05:00 – Remembering Through Touch: How grounding, attunement, and presence became daily rituals of love.1:12:00 – Slowing Down & Stripping Away: Aliceanne’s descent — sobriety, stillness, and rebuilding from the inside out.1:20:00 – The Ocean and the Wave: A poetic exchange of texts that captures the essence of their union.1:26:00 – Closing Reflections: On saying yes to what is true — and continuing to remember together.Podcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com#RememberingYou

Ryan opens the pages of his life — from growing up in a large, homeschooled family shaped by evangelical faith, to the tender threads of love, loss, and rediscovery that have defined his path.He shares stories of childhood innocence and early spiritual wonder, the pressures of purity culture, and an arranged marriage that began as devotion but unraveled into heartbreak. Along the way, Ryan reveals what it means to live as a highly sensitive person — one who feels the world through an almost electric empathy — and how that sensitivity both shaped and complicated his relationships.Through betrayal, grief, and the collapse of everything he once believed, Ryan found a new understanding of love as the ground of being — a way to keep his heart open even when life broke it wide apart.This is a story about awakening — about what remains when faith systems fall away, and how pain can become the doorway to a deeper, truer freedom.Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj #RememberingYou00:00 Welcome to Remembering You 00:58 Early life in Columbus, Ohio 03:12 A Jesus-hippie childhood and homeschool beginnings 07:47 Meet Ryan’s parents – love, faith, and hard work 13:10 His mother’s resourcefulness and activism 17:55 Dyslexia, patience, and life inside the homeschool cult 21:35 Childhood faith and the first glimpse of wonder 23:40 The death of his grandfather and learning to feel grief 26:00 Purity culture and the fear of desire 33:00 Growing up as a highly sensitive person 36:00 The energetic bond with his mother and early spirituality 40:50 Gregorian chants, silence, and the search for stillness 46:00 An arranged marriage — “God’s gift” and the pastor’s blessing 52:40 The illusion of doing life “the right way” 59:00 Early marriage, faith, and four children under five years old 01:03:00 When faith fractures — losing God and finding love again 01:09:00 Questioning hell and discovering a new kind of gospel 01:13:00 The unraveling — betrayal, loss, and the breaking open 01:20:00 The night she left and the panic that followed 01:32:00 Keeping the heart open — learning not to numb the pain 01:40:00 Rediscovering love, self, and the courage to begin again 01:46:00 What freedom really means 01:48:00 Closing reflections and gratitudePodcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com

Aliceanne shares the story of her life — from a fast birth in a snowstorm and a rebellious adolescence to her years as a mother, partner, psychologist, and seeker. Through love, loss, and awakening, she explores what it means to become whole again after profound fragmentation. This conversation is about the long journey of remembering who we are — and what we hold sacred when everything else falls away.This episode includes discussion of childhood trauma, domestic abuse, and loss. Please listen with care.Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj #RememberingYou00:00 – Opening • Arrival00:37 – Introducing Aliceanne01:56 – A Fast Beginning04:03 – Family Roots and Early Lessons05:32 – Walking on Eggshells08:03 – A Forest of Family11:30 – Church, Control, and Spiritual Wounds15:04 – The Fall & A Brain Injury 23:03 – Brother and Protector28:25 – Safe Places32:00 – Adolescence and Rebellion38:00 – Trouble and Resilience43:00 – A New Direction45:00 – College and Awakening Curiosity52:00 – Love and the Storm59:00 – Coming Home01:00:35 – Caring and Cancer01:05:00 – A New Chapter01:08:00 – Love and Relocation01:20:00 – Bianca’s Diagnosis01:47:00 – Community and Consciousness01:55:00 – Bianca’s Final Days02:02:30 – Love Beyond Death02:05:00 – ClosingPodcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com

This introductory episode explains the meaning behind Remembering You. Aliceanne (a psychologist) and Ryan (a hospice chaplain) describe a perspective of integration—linking psychology and contemplative wisdom, data and lived experience—so we can relate to the fullness of our human experience with more clarity and care. The show is an ongoing conversation about how we heal, grow, and belong. If you’ve been moving fast, take a breath. You’re in the right place.Website | www.RememberingYou.LifeInstagram | www.instagram.com/rememberingyou.lifeFacebook | www.facebook.com/rememberingyou.lifeSubscribe to the Remembering You podcast:iTunes | https://link.rememberingyou.life/epx8OT Spotify | https://link.rememberingyou.life/9Ittfm iHeartRadio | https://link.rememberingyou.life/HWGmb7 YouTube | https://link.rememberingyou.life/QgNJyP Join the Remembering You community on Patreon and learn about our offerings and upcoming events! https://link.rememberingyou.life/pbdCkj #RememberingYouPodcast music licensed for non-commercial use by mobygratis.com