Schuld Inc

In this podcast, Manndi talks to Lauren Doyle about the non-combative approach she and her ex-husband committed to in their divorce, and what she learned from the process. Photo by Ben White on Unsplash After 14 years of marriage, Lauren and her husband separated in November, 2018, but continued to co-habit for some months while they discussed terms and the best interests of their children, aged six and eight. They finally divorced in March, 2021. They consulted attorneys separately about their individual rights, and then went into mediation in order to arrive at a mutually acceptable agreement. Although it was difficult, often emotional and heated, they focused on achieving the best possible outcome for their family and have now settled into a solid, amicable, co-parenting relationship. The children are secure, spending alternate weeks with each parent and with an au pair to bridge the gap between the households. Both parents look forward to time with the children, and value having time off to recharge. ‘Divorce throws a family into something for which it is unprepared,’ says Lauren. ‘There aren’t many resources to guide us, especially in terms of the goal of a positive outcome for all. Ours was not a high-drama situation, so there was no big rush; we stalled many times around how to do things, and Covid added a level of complication, but I’m glad now that we took our time to reach a point that we agreed was fair. ‘We go into marriage without knowing enough about our own baggage, without discussing our expectations upfront, and then we fall into prescribed roles. This was the first relationship for both of us, so we had no experience. More listening and understanding was needed; also, space to prioritise personal growth.’ Lauren’s advice to others would be for both partners to maintain individual interests to bring freshness to the relationship; to have financial independence and, if divorce is being considered, to seek counselling for support and to define desired outcomes. Making some sacrifices along the way to ensure a fair outcome is essential. Tell yourself that it can be okay if you maintain respect for each other and for what you have shared. Finally, opt for mediation rather than litigation. ‘Divorce is painful but not necessarily a failure. I see it as the end of a season; a stage of life that had good times, with better times in store for both of us, as well as the possibility to be friends.’

In this podcast, Manndi Schuld talks to Advocate Julia Anderssen Photo by Caleb Ekeroth on Unsplash Advocate Julia Anderssen specialises in matrimonial law with a particular interest in children’s law. She has been involved in this field since 1996 and although it is often the big, acrimonious cases that she has to deal with, she is drawn to working with people at this vulnerable time of their lives. The goal is always to steer couples to mediation and to be aware that children’s interests are paramount in any resolution. Matrimonial law has ongoing developments and changes: where there was once a battle for single custody of children, it is more common now for parents to share decision making and responsibility with regard to their children. Of particular interest now is the draft bill that will recognise religious marriages and long-term partnerships as deserving of the same protections as formal unions. The new legislation seeks to recognise all unions under one Act. The expansion of the definition of ‘spouse’ means that other pieces of legislation, such as the Pensions Act, will now be operative in these previously unrecognised relationships, says Advocate Anderssen. The Act will also make it clear that the absence of registration of the partnership is not going to mean invalidation in the event of future claims. It’s not clear when the Act will be promulgated, but it should finally provide all kinds of unions with equal protection under the law. In the interim, her advice to couples is to have a clear agreement in place. Many people in long-term partnerships don’t talk things through as they would before entering into a formal marriage. Even for married couples, the lack of forethought is what ultimately causes the most difficulty. Good communication is essential. Proper planning reduces costs and animosity in the long term, should the relationship end.

In this podcast, Karen Horstman, an expert on surrogacy law and a valued member of the team at Schuld Inc Attorneys, explains the legal complexity of surrogacy, an arrangement in which a woman carries and delivers a child for a couple or person whose permanent, irreversible condition prevents them from having their own child. Photo by Mustafa Omar on Unsplash This may be a traditional surrogacy, in which the surrogate’s egg is fertilised using the intended father’s or a donor’s sperm, or it may be a gestational surrogacy, in which the embryo is fertilised in vitro and transferred to the surrogate. This may be a traditional surrogacy, in which the surrogate’s egg is fertilised using the intended father’s or a donor’s sperm, or it may be a gestational surrogacy, in which the embryo is fertilised in vitro and transferred to the surrogate. In this case, either the eggs or the sperm, or both, must come from the commissioning parents. Surrogacy laws differ widely from country to country. It is vital that commissioning parents employ an attorney with experience in the field to draw up and agreement that must be confirmed by the High Court before the process begins. Without such an agreement the surrogate remains the child’s legal parent. In South Africa, surrogacy is regulated by Chapter 19 of the Children’s Act, 38 of 2005. The law stipulates that commercial surrogacy, in which the surrogate is paid more than her medical and legal expenses, is illegal; it sets out physical and psychological requirements that the surrogate mother must fulfil, and the residency restrictions that apply to all parties. The agreement will only be confirmed if it includes adequate provisions for the contact, care, upbringing, general welfare and best interest of the child. Karen explains the finer details and answers questions about pregnancy termination, parental rights and preparing for all eventualities. Most importantly, she points out that with the support of someone skilled in this highly specialised field, the experience can be all that it should be: the realisation of a cherished dream.

Manndi discusses what to do when you receive a divorce notice

SAfm Radio Law Report interview with Manndi Schuld on family and collaborative law. Photo by Ricardo Moura on Unsplash In this podcast, Manndi explains the financial and emotional advantages of the collaborative approach in divorce, as well as the essential information included in her ‘Flirting With Divorce’ (Now called Divorce By Design) course, which empowers couples to make wise choices before beginning the divorce process. The collaborative approach recognises that couples are in trauma and likely to be reactive rather than responsive in their decision making. Both partners’ attorneys sign an agreement not to litigate and work together in their clients’ best interests to arrive at an outcome that is fair and acceptable.  Instead of each party hiring forensic accountants and psychologists to support their case, one independent expert is brought in to assess the overall situation and make recommendations. It’s a cheaper and simpler solution and workable if both parties are committed to finding resolution, especially where children and co-parenting are concerned. ‘What we are doing is calling on something bigger in each partner,’ says Manndi. ‘Whatever has gone wrong, we are honouring what has been and keeping in mind that, if there are children, some form of relationship will continue after the divorce. It helps if that can be amicable.’ The “Divorce By Design” course provides couples with the know-how to proceed, either to divorce or to couples counselling to work through their issues. ‘People are so ill-equipped to cope with divorce,’ says Manndi. ‘We discuss what the process costs, how maintenance is calculated, how co-parenting works, the paperwork that is required and what the various options are if they choose to go ahead.’ Armed with the necessary information, couples can make more empowered choices. And with the right support of compassionate attorneys, they can also bypass expensive experts and reach agreements in a mutually respectful way.