Static Radio

Altamaha-ha On this episode of Mondo Freako, the host welcomes guest Julian (host of the Not Enough Questions podcast) for an episode exploring Georgia’s celebrated river cryptid, the Altamahaha—affectionately known as "Alti." After kicking things off with a debate on the horrors of Atlanta traffic and a 5-question trivia quiz, the discussion shifts to the lore surrounding the 20- to 30-foot serpentine creature said to haunt the brackish marshes near Darien in McIntosh County. Deeply rooted in indigenous Muscogee Creek and Yamasee oral histories, Alti is often described as a river-dwelling, plesiosaur-like beast with a snout resembling an alligator or gar, contrasting with skeptical theories pointing to misidentified Atlantic sturgeon or manatees. The pair examine the broader global phenomenon of freshwater "Nessie" sightings before diving into a map breakdown of the remote Georgia coast. While Julian questions how such a massive creature could evade modern surveillance, the host argues that the sparse, winding waterways and potential ocean migration routes offer plenty of hiding space. Weighing ancient folklore against modern skepticism, the episode closes with final verdicts on a 1-to-10 scale: Julian lands at a skeptical 3/10, while the host rates Alti at a 6/10, giving weight to centuries of indigenous testimony and the vastness of the coastal swamps. Not Enough Questions https://youtube.com/live/rcGEpwZTsbE UFO Witness Game (Click Graphic to Start) Transcript (AI transcription) Julian, how's traffic in Atlanta? It's going well. It's going well. Mondo Frico. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Mondo Frico. I am here with Julian. Julian, how are you doing tonight? I heard you had some traffic problems today, no? Yes, yes. Atlanta is known for its traffic. Everybody talks about Los Angeles and New York when it comes to traffic, but I can tell you I've never been in any worse traffic than in Atlanta. You were right. You will not find anything worse than Atlanta. I would say a second close, oddly, was Nashville. Really? I've never been to Nashville. Oh, literally on the highway, come to a complete stop. You can't even see Nashville. It looks like you're in the middle of nowhere. Everything stops. And then you just creep along until you finally see the skyline for Nashville. It's just kind of like Atlanta because Atlanta is that way too on the highway. Sometimes you'll just stop in the middle of nowhere close to Atlanta and really not even see the city. Where in Los Angeles and New York and everything, at least you see a city. That's very true. That is very true. And I haven't heard Nashville is a…Tennessee, Atlanta. Yeah, exactly. It is Atlanta and Tennessee. You're correct. I think you're right. But, yeah, it's the worst traffic, yeah. And I've been in all of the places I mentioned. I've sat in traffic in all of them. And, I mean, even New York City traffic wasn't as bad as Atlanta traffic or Los Angeles traffic. Mm-hmm. It's amazing. Don't they also have more lanes as well? They do. They do. But, I mean, there's a lot of lanes in Atlanta. I can't remember. Los Angeles has like seven lanes. I don't know. It's just crazy. But, you know, still, it doesn't matter if you have 100 lanes. If they're all stopped, nobody cares. They're like, this is terrible. Terrible if everyone has an accident and you can't make a left turn. Yeah. Exactly.It's pretty bad. Well, welcome to Mondo Freako, Julian. And we have a topic tonight. So on the show, just a real base to catch everybody up in case they've never seen it before. We talk about cryptids, UFOs, the supernatural, the paranormal, typically in a bit of a humorous way. But also we talk about, you know, what's happening with these things. And at the end of it, you and I will have a quick discussion on what we think about it. Is it real? Is it fake? Is it legend? We'll find out. Now, I always give everybody a choice at the beginning of this show. Well, first of all, tell us a little bit about Not Enough Questions and EQ Pods. I always like to get these things at the front because then if people don't listen to the whole thing, at least they get to hear what you've got going on. All right. Not Enough Questions is a podcast that I run.And I say it's, what do I say? It's a podcast where you can find, not every episode is for everyone, but you find a piece of humanity in every episode. We talk about… Well, it's a serial killer podcast. Is that what you're saying? No, no, no. Oh, okay. Sorry. It's more so a perspective-based critical thought question. Oh, okay. Thank you. Yeah, I should have said that. Yeah. Maybe I'll get a merger on there. You know it. A piece of humanity in every fight. Yes. Questions range from what is your dream job? Can you have two feelings at once? What crime would you commit knowing you're going to get caught? And some more funny ones, some more serious ones. It's a great time. It's an hour. Yeah, it's an hour podcast.Oh, there you go. See, look at that. I've actually been on the show with Julian at least twice. Twice, twice. Yeah, I was just saying, I think it's twice. And it's a lot of fun. And I can't, I'm sorry, I don't remember my question, but I think there was not enough of those questions. I can guarantee you there's more to come, right? I think the questions I said actually were the ones that you were on. What was your dream job? Oh, right. Okay. And then came how to feelings at once. And I said, professional Tanner sitting in the sunshine. That was my dream job. Something like that. No, I don't think I said that at all, but everybody should check it out at any Q pod on the socials, or you can follow this link tree, not,It seems longer than it really is. Not enough questions podcast. So when you say it, it's like, wow, that really rolls off the tongue. When you look at it, you're like, gosh, there's a lot of letters there. But it's all good. All good. So at the beginning of the show, I always ask the guests, we always have a quiz. And I'm going to give you the option of either doing the quiz before you even know the topic or… We'll talk a little bit about the topic. I'll tell you about the topic, and then you can take the quiz. I'd rather take the quiz now. Oh, he's going to take the quiz. Quiz. Quiz. Quiz. Quiz right off the bat. All right, let me get the quiz up here for you. Tell me if you can see it.You might not be able to read all of it. I'll try to make it bigger for you here. Okay. Let's see if I can. Oh, my goodness. I hit the wrong button. Hold on a second. Let's start that over. Don't give that answer. Here. Is that a little bit better? It's better. I'll read them off. Don't worry. I'll read them all off to you so you don't have to memorize them. And you already heard the wrong answer. If you get the wrong answer, what you hear is a buzzer. I love the hint. You can take a hint. Okay. The legendary creature Ultimahaha, affectionately nicknamed Ulti, is a cryptid reported to inhabit which state in the American South? Is it Georgia, Ohio, Idaho, or Alaska? And if you notice there, it says easy. Yeah, because I'm like, I'm knowing these questions like this. No, no, no, no, no, no. I think Georgia. Georgia should beThe only southern American state in here. Yeah, I don't think Alaska is in the southern part. There you go. Correct. Altamaha is Georgia's most famous river monster legend. Primarily with the Altamaha River and coastal marshes around Darien and McIntosh County. Now you kind of know what we're talking about tonight, right? So… According to eyewitness folklore, this is question number two so far. You got one correct. According to eyewitness folklore, which physical description fits how Ultima Ha-Ha is typically described? Is it A, 20 to 30 feet serpentine river creature with flippers, ridged skin, and an alligator or dolphin-like snout? B, a giant eight-legged turtle wearing sunglasses? No. C, a winged lizard that nests in high pine trees and only feeds on acorns. Or D, a miniature freshwater shark covered in bright neon feathers. I have a hint if you want it. These all sound very interesting. And I'm trying to think which one would I more likely see. I want to say a winged lizard. You want to go with C, a winged lizard? A winged lizard. Okay. And I have a hint. You sure you don't want the hint?I don't want to take the hint right now. All right. Oh, sorry. Witnesses usually report a 20 to 30 foot aquatic creature that undulates vertically through the water, sporting paddle-like flippers and a long snout. All right. You got one right and you got one incorrect. It's fine. You're doing fine. You're doing fine. That's why I wanted to take the quiz now. Okay. Now, this one's a hard question. It says, long before European settlers documented sightings, legends of a giant snake-like river creature in this region originated with which Native American group? Was it A, the Muscogee or Creek, and the Yamase peoples, B, the Inuit of Northern Canada, C, the Hawaiian monarchy, or D, the Aztec Empire? I have a hint. I'm going with my gut and saying A.All right. The Muscogee Creek and Yamasee oral histories describe a large water serpent or river beast inhabiting the waterways of coastal Georgia centuries before any modern sightings. Hey, you're doing good there. You got two correct. We got a couple more to go. We got five questions altogether. Which historic coastal Georgia town serves as the cultural hub of Altamahaha, lore, even featuring a dedicated statue and adopting the monster as its local mascot. Is it A, Darien, B, Paris, C, Honolulu, or D, Reykjavik? I have a hint. I would take a hint. Yeah, please give me the hint. This small port city sits right at the mouth of

This Week In this episode of LeMent Tonight, host Bob interviews Southern California stand-up comedian John Liu, exploring his background as a first-generation Filipino-Chinese American and his journey in comedy. The conversation touches on John's day job as an auditor—which he deliberately keeps separate from his stand-up routines—as well as his experiences performing across the United States and internationally in Taiwan and the Philippines. After playing a lighthearted improv game where John offers intentionally terrible advice for dating and dinner parties, the discussion shifts to his love for cooking traditional Filipino dishes like adobo and kare-kare, followed by reflections on vegetarianism, religion, and the practical challenges of owning and operating an independent comedy club. https://JohnLiuComedy.com https://youtube.com/live/lSicf2OlkSo Bad AI Transcript Hey, everybody, it's Lament Tonight. guest tonight is john Blue. Or is it live? Now, how would you pronounce this, John? I pronounce it it makes it easier for my neighbors. Yes, sir. Oh, okay. You're totally ignoring the eye pretty much. I'm trying to be less central me i'm not trying to be less egocentric. Let's talk about you So John Liu is a first-generation Asian American. You give your heritage as Filipino and Chinese on your bio. You're based in Southern California. You have a sharper tongue, as we just heard. And your comedy centers around growing up in a multicultural background, being a first-generation immigrant, current events, and dealing with the ever-changing American zeitgeist. You can catch him… at JohnLiuComedyLiu.com. John Liu, how are you doing tonight? Cheers. I'm doing great. I'm chilling in a city called Anaheim, which is, as if you may know, may or may not know, is the hometown of Disneyland. Lovely, beautiful day in Southern California. The heat is finally letting up. The humidity is letting up. And there's some wild parrots hanging around outside. It is a good day.Were you at Disneyland today? No, no, no, no. A friend of mine is running a comedy show. So before I showed up, before I logged in, I dropped in to say hello. Support local comics, support my friends, all that good stuff. Well, that was awful nice. I do what I can. Were you just there for support or did you do something else? No, it's a theme night, actually. I have a friend. His name is Eric Escobar, Hilarious Comics. plug for him uh he run he's doing a special comedy night uh at a local brewery called cast comedy night these are all current or former disney performers so i went down to catch you know catch his comedy and you know see see some comics and now i'm here with you and this is a wonderful setup thanks again for having me bob you're so gracious my goodness are you your mother must be very proud of you. I hope soYou're so polite. So now you just said for current or former Disney performers. Now, what do you mean by that? Well, OK, so when you go to Disneyland, they have people working, you know, staff members. They also have crew members. These are the forward facing people like the tour guides on the Jungle Cruise or, you know, people manning, you know, dressed up as characters, things like that. Oh, okay. Cast members, as they like to say, so they don't have to pay them. It's true. But funny enough, I do believe they're part of the actors' union, too. They're actually considered acting. It's an acting job, I think. Oh, really? Okay. It's fascinating. That's a good move on their part, is to pull that in, right? So the whole cast member thing was kind of a dodge, I think, originally. And so now they're going, yeah, well, wait.If we're cast members, we're acting. Have you ever worked at Disney or no? No. Oh, my gosh, no. I have no patience for that kind of thing. I wear my heart on my sleeve and my contempt on my face, so it's kind of like I can't do that. It's very difficult for me to be in a customer-facing position. You're so polite. You've been so polite to me tonight. And here you're saying, oh, no, I can't do that. It's a lot of work, Bob. So you've got like five minutes of pleasantries and then after that it's all venom or what? Well, I don't know what to say. I really don't. I'm not much of a conversationalist. That's why I'm in stand-up and not improv. Oh, my goodness. It's working right now, John. Well, cheers. Thank you. Now, since you're a Filipino-Chinese, is John your first name or is this an Americanized name for you?Well, here's the thing you got to know really quickly about the Philippines. We are an English-speaking country. English is one of the languages that we speak, so we do have a lot of crossover. John is actually my given birth name. So, yeah. I do have a Chinese name, but I don't use it too much, mainly because I can barely speak Chinese. It's like at a four-year-old level, if I'm lucky. It's terrible. What level of Chinese do you speak, John? Oh, four-year-old. I don't know. I really don't know. My wife describes it as, my wife says I understand half of the conversation. Unfortunately, I understand the useless half. I only know the words and, the, and. Right. I can count to a decent extent. I know important phrases, some words, because I did go to school where they taught Chinese, butPart of the difficulty is that I didn't get a lot of practice. I moved to the States when I was a teen, and where I moved to, there weren't a lot of Chinese speakers, so it kind of fell by the wayside, and I wasn't that good to begin with. So where did you grow up in your teens? Can you tell me an area? Southern California, through and through. Okay, so dude, whoa, hey. Pretty much, pretty much. There's no Chinese words for that. No, if there are, I don't know them. So would you in the Southern California culture, would you what would you describe yourself as? So like, you know, there's skater, surfer, you know, beach. I think the closest thing I don't know if they still have them. But, you know, when I was younger, I was definitely more in the nerd slash preppy kind of thing. Oh, OK. Yeah.And I was a kid. I had my fun, but I wasn't much into skating, wasn't much into sports. I was a bit of a nerd. I was into comic books, toys, that kind of thing. And I'm not – the why doesn't apply anymore, but I would certainly be – could have been classified as a yuppie back in the day. I think you and I are of the same generation that you know what a yuppie is. Oh, yeah. And for the younger folks, a yuppie – Young Urban Professional. Oh, I thought you were going to say it was a wet puppy. No, no, no, no, no. No, I know. Young Urban Professional. Exactly. You drove your Beamer. And your girlfriend was named Buffy. No, I don't have money. That's why I'm here. No offense. But otherwise, I would have bought myself a comedy club and called it a day. Oh, well, that's interesting.Why are you waiting? What is stopping you from realizing this dream? My bank account. Well, no. Banks will give anybody money. You could go get a loan. They want me to pay it back eventually. That's the part you've got to figure out. Respect anyone that runs a comedy venue. It's not easy. It isn't. Well, you just sell drugs in the back and you're all set. Everything works out. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, no, it's not for me. Plus, it's a lot of logistics that I don't really want to deal with. I want to be free. I want to be happy. You know what? You can have the John Liu comedy car. It's like Uber, except you get comedy on the way to your destination. Actually, a friend of mine had this idea recently.of taking, like, you know, one of those creepy, gigantic vans, you know, and just opening up the door and having, like, a pop-up comedy show, have the speakers and the mic in there, and just drive wherever, park somewhere, and set up a comedy show that way. Yeah. I mean, they did the cash cab on television for I don't know how long. You could do the comedy cab. Talk about a captive audience. Just lock the doors, have the choppers. That's right. And then if they want to get out, they got to pay you. Yeah. Oh, my God. We could be like those crazy people that preach on planes. Have you been seeing that on the news? No. We could do that. We could just put on a comedy show. They preach on a plane? Is that allowed? No. It's absolutely not. Explain this to me. Do they just, like, bother the person next to them, or do they stand up and tell the whole plane? No, they stand up and tell the whole plane. Oh, my word.one lady, she got put on the no-fly list forever because she was pretty much preaching the entire time. She would get up, preach to the plane, and just she just refused to sit down. You know, all that stuff. And there are a couple people doing that so i'll be honest with you. I would rather have it happen in a plane than anywhere else because, I mean, you never know. That's fair. You look like a 50 50 that you may need that at that moment. That's true. That's true. You know, but it, yeah, it's all about that captive audience, getting that group of people together. And I like to perform, I'll be honest. I like to perform, you know, I, it's the advertising, the marketing that doesn't appeal to me, you know? Oh no. Well, I think this, I think this, you know, comedy Uber thing is the way to go. Cause then, I mean, you like to go places, right?Absolutely. Travel is one of the perks. I've gotten to go to so many places and see so many things that I wouldn't have if I wasn't in comedy. It gives me that incentive to travel. Tell me some of the places you've gone. Have you gone to Macau? I have not. I've only recently started traveling for comedy. Let's see. I've performed in the Philippines. I've been to open mics in Taiwan. Wow. in terms of shows, proper shows, I've done show

Miles tries out the door-to-door bug salesperson's hoverboard, while Bob has a nice leisurely lunch and ends up in a gas station parking lot. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/vXxfPh12Ixc Miles tries out the door-to-door bug salesperson's hoverboard, while Bob has a nice leisurely lunch and ends up in a gas station parking lot. Sales Crash Bad AI Transcript If you stop me up, I'll never stop. I'll never stop. No, no, no, no, no. That's a piece. Mmm. Good evening. I'm your friendly courier, Mr. Blood Vessel. Mr. Buster Blood Vessel. What's that from? I am the walrus. Oh, really? I was watching it this morning. I don't know. That's the intro to it. It just seemed funny. I'm like, wow, these guys were really funny back in the day. I guess so. I think it's Ringo's voice. It sounds like Ringo. I don't know. It sounds like a Ringo thing. uh it's my house title with static radio podcast yeah uh am around plausible and um that's all i know so i'm being held hostage i'm in his basement What if hostages… What do they do for proof of life now with the… They can't hold up a newspaper, really. I mean, where are you going to get a newspaper these days? What's the… What is the new version of that, holding up the newspaper? What is the deal with being a hostage and not having a newspaper? What is the deal with that? I don't know, Jerry. I don't know. In this day and age, where are you going to get it? There's no USA Today. I can't get it, butI don't know. You know, I hadn't really thought about it. I'm just trying to pose these questions, you know what I mean? I question the world as we see it today. I mean, would you hold up the latest? I mean, everybody's Instagram feeds are different. Can't do TikTok, right? I hadn't really prepared for this bit. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. It's really you. And you're really, I mean, we got the AI make anything. I mean, I got a guy. I got a guy. I got a guy. Okay. I got a guy's name. He tells me if everything's fake, that's fake. His name is CB. He's on TikTok. Don't worry. He'll get into this. Fingernails. Fingernails are wrong. That's why. It's not right. Fake. Yeah. It's all fake. All fake. I don't know. I'm just saying. I mean, it used to be so easy. You just get a newspaper, hold up a newspaper. Okay. They're alive still. The newspaper there. Well, there's still newspapers. I mean. Yeah. But I mean, it's so easy to fake everything. It's just like. Yeah. Yeah. He held up the weekly shopper.That's the weekly shopper for this week. He could have been missing any time this week. We don't know. We know he's alive last week. We know it. We'll just have to wait another week to see if he's still alive. Wait a minute. There was no ad for Bugles this week in the weekly shopper? Okay. Okay. Are you still there, Miles? Did I lose you on this one? Hello? Yeah. Okay. There you are. You dropped out. I thought so. No, you froze up like you got your image just froze up. Like your eyes were like half open. Like, oh, dude, there's a cartoon cat. So this week was not the best week. It's not the best week. The weekly shopper did not have bugles on sale last week. So on Friday, I went to lunch with my good friends, Dr. J and Dr. K. Yes. And so they actually met me at my office because I'm having to go to my office here lately because of some rule changes thatAnd so they came by the office and we decided to go get some lunch. Yeah. And unfortunately near the office, there's not a lot of good lunch places. So I'm like, let's go to this Mexican place, which I'm surprised you can still say that, to be honest with you, like Chinese place, Mexican place. It's all okay. Right. Yeah. I mean, I think that's all right. I mean, I, I'm like, we got to go down to this one, you know? And so it's, it's a, it's a, few minutes away. Taco Bell. Yeah. It's called the Taco Ballet. Exclusive. It's a local thing, but so we're driving and we drove by like three other Mexican places and they're like, well, why don't you go to this one? I'm like, I've never been there. I'm not going there. El Bandejos. Yeah. And so I forced them to go to thisMexican place that I've been to before. This is always good. They have a lunch special. So, you know, it's not overly expensive. Kutas are us. So we make it there. Everything's fantastic. You know, I get the lunch special. They get a lunch special. Everybody gets a lunch special. We have a great lunch. We're chitting and chatting and skitting and scatting and everything. And then… Bella Fitzgerald shows up. Do, do, do, do. And then Dr. K is like, well, I got to get back. I need to get going. I'm like, oh, man. So he drove us all. He took on the mantle of driver. Yeah. And we all pile into Dr. K's car. Yeah. And we're going to head back to my office. And then everybody will go about their business. Right. Yeah.So we're on our way back and, and talking and we, there's a, I don't know, like a traffic jam is on side streets. We're not on the highway or on the side street. Some kind of like traffic jam. Everything comes to a stop. Right. I'm talking and kablamo. You got rear ended hard. Didn't you? Yeah. You're hard. And I didn't even realize it. I was like, what the hell? And sure enough, Dr. K got rear-ended. Oh! Were you in front? I was in the front seat because I'm… Dr. K is a very diminutive person. He's a very… Yeah, he's teeny tiny. He's tiny. And so I sat up front with Dr. K. We get blasted in the back, you know? Yeah. And you get ass blasted. Did you? Yeah, it was rough. I was like, it wasn't gentle. It was rough. It was not gentle at all. I mean, we got kablowy and I, the rear ending to the gas station. And, and luckily the person that hit him pulled in as well. And we had to go through the whole process of, yeah, of an accident thing. So the funny thing is we pull in and I'm like,So Dr. K gets out. I get right out because, you know, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm like, I'm ready to back him up, right? Yeah, right. Okay. Well, I'm fairly tall and quite broad. And so I figured he's not. Yeah. And so I got out. Well, Dr. J did not get out. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Are you all right? Yeah, he was all right. But I'm like, he was not looking for a fight. I was like, this guy is going to try to blame my friend. I'm going to be there to help out. It's like Billy Barty and Junior Samples wanting to have a freaking fight with somebody. Well, what would Dr. K be then? You know him because you had lunch with him. Yeah. What's his character if I'm Junior and…i don't know. I think about that you can't think of one okay i don't want to make this weird yeah i don't want to make this weird i pop out of the car. K top pops out of the car. He goes, and it's this duck dynasty looking guy with a big beard and he's driving a pickup truck, you know? And so they start talking and, And, um, I'm like walking, but it all seems to be going well. Right. I'm pacing and, um, with your other hand, you're like, yeah, he takes the blame. So then I walk around in the back of Dr. K's car and I'm like, there's liquid dribbling out of the back of his car. Oh yeah. That's my thought. I was like, Holy mother of God, is this gasoline?Oh, fuck. Got a body back there. Fuck. Fuck. And so I'm like, I look at it for a while and it's coming out like, you know, it's coming out like, you know, a Miles title piss. So it's like in spurts. It's not like a, you know, it's not even funny, man. Even say something. It's like dribble, dribble, dribble. Anyway. So I'm like, I hope this isn't gas. Cause then I'm stuck. We're not anywhere miles from anywhere. Then you did a crutch down, put your fingers in it and smell it. I did. So then I stuck my hand, I stuck my finger in there and then I sniffed it, but I have a really bad nose, you know? And so it didn't smell like anything. And so then Dr. K comes walking around. I go, someone's coming out of your car and he sniffed my finger and no, not gas. So then Dr. J finally sees that everything's okay and,Yeah. Yeah. And he wanders out of the car. Like he just woke up or something. Hey, and i think i hurt my back real bad. Yeah. And then he comes around looks at so we're trying to figure out what the hell. And then we're like, you got a case of water back here, but it just kept coming it just yeah it just kept going right yeah a little weird. Yeah, it was really weird. We're like, you don't have a back windshield wiper washer thing, no? I mean, it dribbled the whole time we were waiting for the police. It dribbled, and it dribbled, but it wasn't brake fluid. We kept going through all the fluids, right? Yeah. And then Dr. J crawls under the car. He's so little, he can walk under it. He just did little. I know.and he's like, no, he's like, it coming from the trunk. It's coming from up there. It's not coming from the gas tank or any like break lines or anything. So we wait, the police show up and, you know, we got two police people to show up. So we were at a nice part of town. And that even showed up. Yeah. You know, yeah. It showed up as a nice part of town. Yeah. And, uh, so they, you know, we all have to, well, those guys have to give statements. They, you know, give me the crook guy. Are you here? Who are you with? You know? Yeah. Question. An

This Week In this high-energy episode of LeMent Tonight, host Bob sits down with digital marketer, podcaster, and comedy enthusiast Jeff Ponder for an engaging deep dive into brand building, content strategy, and workplace hilarity. Known for founding the long-running Let's Go Blues Radio, Jeff draws from his dual background in e-commerce marketing and media production to drop actionable wisdom for aspiring creators. From defining a distinct personal "hook"—whether you are a stand-up comic or a cartoon cat—to leveraging daily engagement and strategic collaborations, Jeff outlines what it truly takes to break through the noise in today’s media landscape, all while delivering a sharp comedic take on modern dog-friendly office culture. Beyond expert marketing takeaways, the episode delivers non-stop entertainment through the show’s popular "What a Story" improvised segment. Listeners are treated to side-splitting personal anecdotes about catastrophic vehicle failures, ranging from high-stakes teenage brake malfunctions to a shoeless, shirtless fire-extinguisher rescue at a McDonald's drive-thru. Packed with sharp wit, nostalgic pop-culture banter, and genuine promotional value, this feature is a must-listen for creators, hockey fans, and comedy lovers looking to grow their audience. Catch all the fun on LeMent Tonight, and follow Jeff Ponder on his signature shows, The Pondcast and Hockey Night in St. Louis. https://Pondcast.com https://youtube.com/live/KLhwz-F7dy4 Bad AI Transcript Hey, everybody, it's Lament Tonight. My guest tonight is Jeff Ponder. Jeff, how are you doing? I always want to say Pounder. It's Ponder, right? Back in my day, somebody used to call me Quarter Pounder. I always wanted to thought of that. Well, and it's funny because they were like, oh, being funny because you're a fat little kid, you know, and it's like, Yeah, but you're saying I'm a quarter of a pound, so really it's not an insult. Well, he was one of those people that whenever they made the third pounder, he's like, I'm not buying that. That's less of a value than the quarter pounder. That's right. He's one of those people. Not doing that. So it's always been – I'm going to read the intro here, Jeff. It's always been Jeff's dream to join the mainstream media in some way in his journey to reach the pinnacle –He discovered podcasting in 2011, starting in St. Louis Blues Hockey Podcast. That's still going today. Let's Go Blues Radio has become a staple in secondary media coverage in the St. Louis hockey community. And tonight, he's entering into the world of comedy. Or maybe he's already been there, and he's just doing it here tonight as well. I don't know. We'll find out a little bit more. But Jeff, the stage is yours. Yes, thank you, and uh it's great to be here this is uh this is the pinnacle uh this is actually something i've been wanting to do, is join lament tonight so i'm gonna lament a little bit uh it is weird doing this remotely, a little bit of stand up here um it's not something you would think that would have happened, you know, what, 20, even 15 years ago?But, you know, there's a lot of weird things that really aren't the norm anymore. Someplace I work right now, dogs in the office. Can you imagine that years ago? You know, back, Bob, maybe in 99, 2000 even. Hey, boss, I just rode in on my Buick Skylark. And as I passed the haberdashery, I thought maybe it'd be fun to bring Fido into the office today. What is that boss going to say? You get your ass to your typewriter, and you give me a good 15 hours without breaks, I'll consider letting you leave in time for the Brooklyn Dodgers game. Maybe that was all a little bit too much, but you know what I mean. Is it weird, though, that I would rather be in an office of dogs than an office of people? You know, it's weird because, you know…The dogs, you know, they're very loud. They can be jumpy. You know, coworkers, they may not pee on the floor. Hopefully they're not. But they sure find other ways to annoy me. Like, hey, Jeff, you see that episode of This Is Us last night? You know, I want to watch This Is Us. Do I look like a This Is Us guy? No. You know, no, I didn't watch the curling match from three years ago that was on ESPN Classic last night. No, dogs aren't going to ask me that. They're lovable. They just want to jump on me and have some fun. I do get distracted very easily, though, with these dogs. It takes me about 45 minutes to get to my desk every morning. So I'll get there about, you know, 8 o'clock. I don't get to my desk until almost 9 o'clock. And it's a little crazy because it's like, you know, Jeff, get to work, get to work. But I just want to pet all the dogs. But I will say I make up for it.when there's kids in the office. Then it's a race to my desk. Then it's, oh, I don't want to be bothered by all these weird questions about, hey, you want to see my coloring book? No, kid, I don't. I want to pet the dog and get to my desk. But what does it say about me that I prefer dogs over kids in the office, though? You know, you keep hearing like, mom, my iPad died. Dad, I'm bored. At least dogs just bark. I pat them on the head, give them a treat, and they're quiet until the UPS guy shows up. And, you know, these kids, they're just always needing something, like they're humans or something. Thank you, everyone. I'm Jeff Ponder. You were great. Bob, back to you. Yeah, fantastic. Here, let me give you a little round of applause here. Oh, that's so good.We have all these neat gadgets here on the plausible platform. If you go down, you can always clap. You can, uh, you can cry. Oh, those dogs. Oh, I can feel the heart, everything. Anyway, Jeff, thanks for doing that. It was very fun. So you really work with dogs? Yes. Yes. Dogs are in the office every single day. Um, it's, it's great. Um, you know, I make a lot of jokes about working with the people I work with, but they're all good people too. And, um, they are very welcoming to you, uh, bothering them and coming up and petting their dogs. And, and I'll say, that's another thing that I do, Bob is I, uh, I forget my coworkers names, but I don't forget their dogs names. That's interesting. Well, they also have a hanging from their neck. So,That's true. That helps. That does help. If the coworkers were to do that, you'd probably be able to remember. Oh, hey, Bill. It's funny because they all have it on their desk. So you walk by and you're like, oh, hey, Jeff. Oh, hey, Marcy. And you're like, I'm not Marcy. I'm Daphne. I'm just sitting at Marcy's desk. Well, get your ass out of Marcy's seat. She's going to be pissed. So do people like get to walk the dogs then? Like, I mean, the dog has got to, you know, I mean, they sleep a lot, granted. But every once in a while, they got to get up and go outside and whatnot. Or do you have an inside bathroom for the dogs? There is not an inside bathroom. That would be a very nice addition to the office. But no, people do have to get up and walk their dogs. And it is funny because there's times, you know, when…I'll be in a meeting, and it'll be like, oh, hey, I got to bounce for five minutes. I got to take the dog for a walk. And I'm like, this is a place. I mean, it's funny because you're like, this is a place of business, but you're also like, yes, go take care of that dog. That is more important than anything we're doing right now. That's right. We're going over this budget, but no, take that dog out. No, I'm just joking. Please take the dog out. Please take the dog out. That's fun, though. It is. There was a recent discussion where I work about having a cat there besides myself. Of course. And yeah, so I was like, well, I'm up for it, right? I know I like dogs as well, but this was the discussion. My worry was because dogs tend to stick to their owners for the most part, right? And so they don't wander off, especially if they're fairly…you know, I want to say good dog, but you know what I mean? A fairly loyal dog. They don't run around and take off. The cat will just be right out the door. Yep. And so then it's just going to be, I was just imagining it's going to be a series of incredible joy when the cat arrives and heartbreak when it runs out the door and we never see it again. Yep. And I'll say that is there is one person who was bringing a cat into the office. And it was a little bit of a because like she would get there before all the dogs. She'd get there as early as she could. And the cat would usually just hide in the corner. No problem. But every now and then she'd come back to her desk from the bathroom or whatever. And the cat's gone. And so you're like, OK, either this cat is going to get eaten by a dog or ran out.front door or it's hiding somewhere under a desk and like half the day you're thinking oh my gosh i may never see my cat again but yeah she always found a way to get the cat back at the end of the day and she'd go home with the cat well that's good yeah i would worry about it we've had the cats and dogs here and i only worry about the cats until they get when they're kittens Once they grow, you know, develop into like a regular old cat, then they take care of the dogs. Even though they're so much smaller, typically, there's never been an issue with the cat. Dog getting too rough with the cat. Always the cat gets too rough with the dog. Well, the cat is so quick to just swap.you know, and dogs, it, it, it totally throws dogs off. Cause it takes them a minute. You know, they, they sit back, they growl, they put their hind legs up and they're like, I'm going to attack in the next four minutes, you know, and the cats are like, come here. And then just slash their face open. Oh, my face. Wait, it's only been three and a half. Not ready to fight yet. Ready to fight. Yeah. So, so, uh, So let's pause for just a second if

Bob fears for his life while crossing a bridge, while Miles closes in on his life's goal of 85 Bears autographs. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/FjfGhjv-Xjc Bob fears for his life while crossing a bridge, while Miles closes in on his life's goal of 85 Bears autographs. Auto Park Bad AI Transcript [su_qrcode data="https://www.staticradio.com/2026/08/03/auto-park/" title="Auto Park" link="https://www.staticradio.com/2026/08/03/auto-park/" ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————-

The Intriguing Chad from titfos.com Bob and Chad discuss Chad’s book and longstanding website, The Incredibly True Facts of Space, an eccentric collection of short stories, surreal lists, and abstract poetry. After reading snippets featuring alien trivia and a "Dracula telethon," the pair embark on a broad, nostalgic discussion spanning early retail jobs, retro adding machines, vintage calculators, classic Canadian children's television, and the short-lived Sid and Marty Krofft theme park. As the chat wanders into early tech culture, road trip memories, and AI hallucinations, Bob pitches an idea for a modern workplace comedy set in a dispensary, prompting shared stories about past office politics, manipulating budgets for massive CRT monitors, and eccentric former bosses before wrapping up the interview. titfos.com https://youtube.com/live/2WJbLvcUkGw Bad AI Transcript Hey, everybody. Welcome. I've got Chad from TitBose. Thank you. TitBose.com. The incredibly true facts. Oh, I said incredibly, didn't I? the world. acts of space, but they meant it literally. True Facts of Space 2029 because people are taking this public domain packaging it. every variant you can imagine. here's one here. Let me, uh, let me share this. This is, uh, the incredible facts about space. There we go, man. And then it's not the true ones though. It's only the incredible ones. Here's amazing ones, right? These people And then this is interesting facts. So they're not even incredible. Yeah. And then you got the fun facts. True. There is something almost… I wouldn't say that that's not already the case. that is historically proven to be true, too, over and over again yeah I think I think it's true it's hyper true I think if you got 80 then you're doing pretty good yeah I think we're lucky to get over 50 like 55 is uh is probably the positive, don't you think?see how you could talk yourself into several different positions depending on some bigger picture belief systems you had pinned down already so Thank you. Exactly. That's right. there you go now now you actually have written a book called the incredible true facts of space as well. So you have the website you had the website for years, though. The website has been around for there you go. For over 20 years. But the book You're kind of doing it all backwards here. Usually the book comes out. It isn't available. Okay. Well, there you go. that's interesting yeah I guess well you get certain ones with Amazon Prime anyway but I think there's other add-ons that you can do as well so Right, right. You know, a part of that. Audible. Yeah. I think they own Audible.gotcha oh there goes your lights everybody The plus is usually a $5. They should have called it Prime 5. Because it's all $5. I want to start that right now. Everybody's doing plus. We're going to do 5. What do you think? Titfos 5. It's a solid number. I've always was partial to it from the time I was a child because… And it's an odd number, which I enjoy odd numbers. It truly is. So that way, even numbers are kind of shady. It's true. Well, some people have six, but it's okay. there's, Right. Right, yeah. That's true. Interesting. Ha ha ha! Yeah, it doesn't have anything to do with that. Okay. I don't like this, so I'm going to make it fail. Okay. Sure, sure. You type words and whatnot, hold them upside down. Sure. Well, that's one level of fun.Deep thought here in the box. I love calculators. You think people really before the late 60s, early 70s didn't have access to calculators, and then cheap calculators came out in the late 70s, early 80s. Really? Right. Exactly. No, it was. I had, as a kid, we had an adding machine, which was this huge mechanical monster with all the buttons. It didn't have, you know, now you just have 10 buttons. It had 100 buttons, right? So you'd have 10 digits with all 10 digits. Oh, you want to amortize the number? Yeah. Do you want the French method? Yeah. And then you had this big handle, almost like a one-armed bandit that you then had to pull down, and it shot up these metal typeset things that had the numbers on them, and then they would smack against the paper. Oh, wow. It was a monster. Not only the calculation, but then your numbers.Yeah, well, it went onto the paper, and you go, ka-chunk! And it was the funnest thing to play with. It was outdated technology. This is probably from the 20s or something. I don't know. You talk about playing with calculators. That was more. And it was very industrial and heavy. I mean, you couldn't carry it around. There were a lot of mom-and-pop shops still using those. Yeah, and you go, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, ka-chunk! Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, ka-chunk! And then, you know… Oh, no. My mother did the books and she would sit down there and she would do this really quickly. I mean, she was, you know, she was adept because she'd been using that thing, obviously, for probably a couple of decades at that point. So it was it was fascinating where it worked.You muted yourself there. There you go. Mike. Bob? Yeah. Okay. You're there. We had a connection problem. You just muted yourself for a moment. That's all. Ah, rats. I was telling you, when I worked at a grocery store, you know, one of my first jobs, and the ladies that worked the cashiers, you know, they would still doing a lot of typing. They were scanning things, but they were still doing a lot of typing and everything was still cash. So it's kind of a different skill set. I've noticed going through that, uh, just the absence of, of effort that it used to require, you know, having, you know, having worked as a, as a kid, do you see my gosh, you know, we're lucky we still have, uh,so I always wait in line to go in the cashiers lines at Publix because I just, I like the fact that they still have cashiers on duty. Yeah. So, you know, miles, uh, my cohost for static radio, he's a, I always go into the, the people line rather than the computer line. Yeah. And then I always go into the self checkout. You do. Yeah. Oh yeah. Cause I don't, I don't want the, uh, interaction, uh, Or the scrutiny on what I'm buying is usually the thing. I like to talk about it. Yeah, I like that. But he's more social like you where he wants to interact with these folks and find something out, I guess. I don't know. I'd get to say, look, these incontinence pants really are for my dog. Yeah.That's right. You can tell they're not my size. It's obvious. Would you like to open them together? Well, so let's talk about the book a little bit here. What would you call it as, I mean, other than the facts about space, would you call it a compilation of short stories? Yeah, yeah, it is. It's a mix. It's It's a light read. I don't even know. It was like 160 pages on Kindle. Oh, man. I didn't spring for the page numbers. What the hell? I have 190 on my PDF that you sent me. This is a proof copy. Oh, okay. I see it's got the proof on there. Yeah, so it's not really for sale. I do like your artwork. I will say your artwork is very good. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. It is an AI background with an AI chair and an AI TV and AI carpet.I'm going to take back my statement. No, I'm just joking. No, I mean, I like, cause you use the incredibly incredible true facts of space part multiple times. Obviously you've added something to the book, but yeah, I've seen that other part many, many times. Let's see. So it started in a Walmart in a inner hell little box where I was supposed to be selling cell phones and was pretty much the directed not to worry about it so uh you know, I, I was like, okay. And Darren didn't like me being in the office because I, you know hung inappropriate posters in the, in the bathroom once. Um, I was still just young enough to be a little bit nuts, you know, like when i worked at Blockbuster, uh, no, sorry, alfalfas. This is before blockbuster bought us. We were kind of the cool record store. And, uh,so alpha like the our gang person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Books and video. It was interesting. Local mobile kind of, I think it grew up to like three locations. So it's, uh, anyway, it was, um, what were we talking about there? You're working and selling cell phones that you weren't supposed to sell. Yeah. I think i was still just young enough. to be a little nuts. Back earlier when I worked at Alfalfa, this was music. Oh man, I don't know. 24, 25, 24 maybe. So anyway, I had a special sale that we would refill your Zippo if you rented three movies. After we'd become a blockbuster, that wasn't It wasn't part of the plan anymore. It was no longer a, no longer a bonus that we could offer to the customers. You guys had like all of this lighter fluid under the counter. No. In fact, I came up with it because we always had lighter fluid and,on hand and for taking labels. Oh, for removing the label. I got you. That was before the gunk gunk off or whatever it's called. Yeah. And when we were still talking about physical objects, you know, like each one had to be had to be made and had to look right. Yeah. So it's amazing to think how much time we used to spend sorting those tapes, making sure they were rewound and mainly not because you were like, you know, paranoid, angry video guy that wanted them rewound. But it's just the complaint you would get. And, and the, the lack of showmanship you would serve by giving somebody a video, they get home, their popcorn, their kids are on the couch, they plug it in and they got to rewind the whole thing. You know, I mean, classically that was considered, you know, really bad form, right. For, for being cool to your customers. So it's,And Alfalfa's was kind of much more of a hip store. So it really would have made a great movie, now that you think about it. Is this the place that says Alfalfa on the window there? Does that look like it, or is that something differe

Miles' son thinks he is cursed, while Bob has some issues with restaurant cleaning equipment. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/BABrCYf5Kz0 Miles' son thinks he is cursed, while Bob has some issues with restaurant cleaning equipment. Cursed Napkins Bad AI Transcript [su_qrcode data="https://www.staticradio.com/2026/06/23/cursed-napkins/" title="Cursed Napkins" link="hhttps://www.staticradio.com/2026/06/23/cursed-napkins/" ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————-

The St. Clair Incident Bob welcomes his "new best friend" and fellow podcaster, Jeff Ponder, host of The Pondcast: Conversations That Go Nowhere. After a quick chat about Jeff’s background in St. Louis sports broadcasting and his show's unique premise—which uses a random topic generator to force guests to think quickly on their feet—the duo dives into Bob's preferred domain: the unexplained. Jeff opts to take a blind trivia challenge regarding the episode's central topic, performing respectably by leaning on his St. Louis roots and intuition. The core of the discussion focuses on the infamous January 5, 2000, St. Clair Triangle UFO incident, where a massive, silent, triangular craft was sighted by multiple on-duty police officers across several Illinois suburbs just east of St. Louis. Bob and Jeff debate whether the football-field-sized object was a highly classified military prototype from the nearby Scott Air Force Base or genuine extraterrestrial technology. Given that 26 years have passed without any similar technology being publicly declassified by the military, both men ultimately land on "Team Alien," concluding that the event remains one of the most compelling and unresolved multi-jurisdictional sightings in American history. The Pondcast https://youtube.com/live/gIw0O4qRhGY Labyrinth of the Minotaur Game (Click Graphic to Start) Transcript (AI transcription) Hey, Pounder, how much does it cost to be Bob's new best friend? Well, I charge by the hour, so it's costing Bob a lot. Oh, no. Mondo Rico. Hey, everybody. Welcome to this edition of Mondo Rico. I've got Jeff Ponder with me. And Jeff's my new best friend. If you haven't noticed on the screen. Yep. We are definitely best friends. We've done one show together already, so that makes us best friends. Exactly. Yeah. What do they call that? Fast friends? Best friends? What do they call that? Fast friends, I think, is correct. Let's go with that. So tell them about the Ponder cast. We'll just get the plug in right away. How about that? Yeah, that works for me. So, yeah, I'm running something called, first of all, I've got a large background in podcasting. I don't know if your audience is global or if they're kind of central to St. Louis, but I've been podcasting about the St. Louis Blues for years.Oh, my goodness. Since 2011. Bob, I think you were let's see, you were 65 in 2011. That's right. I was somewhere in that range. Exactly. Yeah. So but yeah, I started I decided after a while because we kind of ran the show like a radio show. I'm like, man, the best conversations are just when it's kind of spur of the moment. So I decided to come up with my own kind of interview slash show. conversational podcast, and it's called The Pondcast, Conversations That Go Nowhere. Did I say Pondcast? I'm sorry. You did. That's okay. I'm docking your pay for that. Well, I just looked at your last name. I know it's part of his last name. I know it's something like that. I toyed around with Pondercast just because it does fit the last name perfect, but I'm like podcast, Pondcast, and my logo, my idea, it actually was most people, I've had a couple people guess it, but the logo for the show is literally a car in the middle of a lake, and I got the idea from the office.For anyone who watches that, Michael Scott drives his car. He laked it, as they say. Right. He was listening to the GPS voice. Right. And so my thought was, you know, the, the second part of the show is called conversations that go nowhere. So it's a car that went nowhere. So that's kind of the whole idea. So I thought stick with podcast that works. That's better than who was that lady that drove her kids into the water. Anyway, it's better than that. Don't go on. I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry. But yeah, we use a topic, a random topic generator is the whole idea on the show. And we literally in the middle of the moment, just hit enter. Boom, it gives us a topic. Bob, you came on, and ours was, was it impulse buying? I think it was, where do your socks go in the dryer? Right next to the Braunschweiger. Yeah, no, it was impulse buying. You're correct. Okay, yeah, yeah. So we had a fun time with that, and we're only about 13 episodes in now, and it's been a blast. So I'm enjoying it. It's going to be around for a while. I don't care if I get five downloads an episode. It's been fun. There you go.That's the way to be. Are you looking for guests in case anybody's listening to say, hey, I could be a guest on the podcast. So my one stipulation with having a guest and yes, anyone is welcome to contact me is that you just have to be quick on your feet. And so obviously, Bob, you know, like that, that impulse buying came across and it's like, okay, this is what we're talking about. You can't have the, all right, can you give me about 10 minutes to prep with that? No, we're going right into it. You have to have your own AI mind to get these answers very quickly. You can't type it in. There's no time for typing. When I did a couple kind of promo shows, what was it called? Pilots. I did a couple of pilot episodes, and I had a friend come on, someone I knew since high school. And so I picked her because I was like, you're a witty person. You're going to be good at this. And so she'd never done a podcast before. And so when it came up with her topic, she literally goes,okay, let me type this into AI on what to say. And then she kind of like started acting like she was typing. She's going, and I go, Jen, that's not the point of the show. She's like, I'm just messing with you. And I was like, oh, you got me. Well, we have a somewhat random topic today. You did influence the topic because normally here on Mundo Frico, we do things that are cryptids, paranormal, supernatural, or UFOs. And then I asked you, I was like, well, what area would you like? And I think hopefully you said UFO because that's what I've got for you today. I told you that I would be glad with any of those. If it's just random, that's fine. But I said the area that I'm most interested in is probably UFO. All right. So we got to go. And now I give the guest a choice. So we always do a quiz on the show.And I give the guests the choice to do the quiz before they find out more about what it is or after they know what it is. So I'll let you know what's going to happen if you do the quiz early. You may already know something about this. And we'll find out. It's kind of like find out what you know. If you do it after what I'll tell you about the topic, then, you know, it's a little bit easier of a quiz then. But I'll let you make the choice. Okay, I am all for the randomness of whatever this conversation is. Let's do the quiz first. All right. Quiz. Quiz. I'm not sure if you can read that. Quiz. Yeah, I see it. So this is our quiz, and that reveals the topic. The St. Clair Triangle UFO incident in the St. Louis area in 2000. We have seven questions. I do have a hint if you really want it.And let's find out how well ponder of the pond cast, not the ponder cast, does with these questions. So first question, in what year? Oh, no, the answer is right there. In what year did the St. Clair Triangle UFO incident occur in the St. Louis, Illinois area? 1997, 2000, 2003, 2005. Do you want the hint? I don't. No, I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark and say 2000. Yeah, I forgot to take that off. You're right. The St. Clair Triangle incident occurred in January of 2000, making it one of the most well-documented UFO cases of that era. Only 20-some years ago, 26 years ago. All right, that was a give me, right? Okay, that was. Oh, this is a little too big here. Let's see if I can make that smaller. There we go.So which Illinois town gave the St. Clair Triangle incident its name and served as a central location for the sightings? It's not St. Clair, by the way, Jeff. I knew that. Was it Belleville, O'Fallon, Shiloh, or Lebanon? I believe it's one of the… I've got a hint if you want it. I'm going to just… No, let's stay away from the hint. I believe, if I remember correctly, it's one of the most haunted areas in the Midwest. I believe it's Belleville. So I'm going to go with that. Let's see. That's correct. All right. Belleville is right. The incident is often called the Belleville Triangle or the St. Clair County Triangle because many of the key sightings occurred in and around Belleville, Illinois, which is in St. Clair County. If people didn't know that. So you got two. Two out of seven. You're doing fantastic. All right. Number three.What was a defining physical characteristic of the craft reported by multiple witnesses during the St. Clair Triangle incident? Was it A, a cigar-shaped silver fuselage, B, a large triangular or boomerang shape with lights, C, a spinning disc with colored rings, or D, a glowing orb that changed colors? This feels like a trick question because obviously it's the St. Clair triangle UFO, and you have one in there about a triangular shape with lights. God, that's such a – give me the hint. Let's see the hint. You want the hint. Okay. The incident's nickname gives away the shape. There it is. Okay, I'm going to go with B. All right. Triangular ring shape. I think it's too easy. There we go. Multiple witnesses, including police officers, described a massive silent aircraft with a distinct triangular or boomerang shape adorned with bright lights on the underside. So you're three out of seven. You're almost 50% at this point. That is 50% by my math. Oh, okay. Well, obviously a product of the St. Louis Public School District. Uh-huh. That's correct.What made the St. Clair Triangle incident particularly credible compared to many other UFO reports? Was it A, captured on live television broad

This Week Comedian Grace Yao appeared as a guest on LeMent Tonight, sharing her experiences growing up as a first-generation Canadian-American and attending a strict all-girls Catholic high school. She hilariously compared her time at St. Agnes Academy to a prison sentence, joking about the intense guilt instilled by the nuns and the "speakeasy" vibe of the confession booths. Yao also opened up about her relationship with her traditional Chinese mother, who initially tried to raise her as a boy because she wanted a son. She joked that she eventually managed to "buy off" her mother's persistent guilt and stalking by moving far away and purchasing her a white Lexus. Yao explained that entering stand-up comedy served as a form of therapy, allowing her to process her childhood trauma and get paid for it. During the interview, she participated in an improvisational game called "Ask Not," intentionally giving terrible advice on topics like buying rusted-out junkyard cars and sending parents to the Titanic with nothing but a flashlight and a rope. Looking to the future, Yao discussed her upcoming aspirations, which include auditioning for acting and commercial gigs, utilizing her skills in Mandarin and martial arts, and producing a new stand-up show centered around female and mother-focused comedy. https://www.instagram.com/graceyao_00/ https://youtube.com/live/7LeogHUCymw Bad AI Transcript Hey, everybody. Welcome. It's LeMent Tonight. special guest is Grace Yao. And of course we've got Gary Lymes, the Flea Tones. Thank you, Gary. No, Gary, no. So Grace Yao, let me say a little bit about Grace before we bring her out here. So Grace Yao talks about family relationships, observation of rules in life we all follow and are fed up with. She has bottled up beautifully her polite rage into comedy. Everybody, Grace Yao. Thank you, thank you. Oh, I can hit the applause button. Oh, I raised my hand here. Let's get some applause for you, of course, right? Sure, that'd be great. You stayed up late tonight uh she's supposed to be watching uh love island or something and she decided she'd talk to me yeah yeah tv broke tv broke um yeah so how are you doing tonight grace i'm i'm hot it's hot here umhot flashes don't help. Yeah. Just feel like I'm incredible. I got stuck in an oven. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Yeah. But uh, yeah. So um, yeah, Bob and I were talking about shame for some reason right before. My that's always my second subject when I talk to people. Yeah. Very, very nice opener there. Um, But it was great. It's great because I'm also a Catholic school girl. Yeah. Yeah. I still have the outfit. Shut up anyways. Yeah, it was a school for, it was a high school for girls only. It wasn't bad. It really wasn't that bad, really. I mean, it's like where girls go. You know, they hang out, they gossip, they braid each other's hair. You know, it's kind of like that place called prison.Yeah. Yep. I served four years at St. Agnes Academy of You Will Graduate If You Feel Guilty. Yeah, I graduated the class of I'm sorry, I'm a sinner. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Oh my god, I think a really good. Sorry, sorry. You know, have you ever seen nuns? Like close up? Yeah, I have actually. Are you a Catholic schoolboy? No, I'm not. Okay. I just wonder what how would you get to see a nun? But you know, they have you noticed that nuns they don't walk? You know, they glide in their habit and everything. And I just I used to think it was the Holy Spirit. Yeah, but looking back, it was just pure concentrated, like, I haven't had sex since prom, you know,they're going on yeah and and somehow i don't know what, what did nuns do? I mean, they're probably on like catholic dating apps, just like swiping right on Jesus. Like, Oh, you know, yes, for Jesus. And somehow they all got, yeah, they all got matched with the same guy actually. So they're all married to Jesus. Seriously. Uh, they're literally called the bride of Christ. Yeah. Yeah. So isn't it weird? Like we, we call them sisters. We calling them Mrs. Jesus. Cause they're all married to Christ. Yeah. So anyway, you know, when nuns die, they should be like, they're probably waiting for their honeymoon finally, you know, to go on a honeymoon. But, uh, I don't know how many people know this, but there's no marriage in heaven, according to the Bible. But it just means that when they die, they'll probably end up at the pearly gates with St. Peter going, I'm sorry, but there's no sex in heaven. Please put your vaginas in the basket.Have you got one? Come on, don't be shy. Now you know the secret. Now pretty much in heaven we're all just Ken and Barbie dolls. Just nuns out there going, I stayed celibate to end up in eternity smooth. But anyway. Yeah, so that's me. Catholic school girl. Lots of therapy. Anyway. Now, you really think that there's no sex in heaven? Well, true. Just because there's no marriage doesn't mean… I mean, maybe it's just all, you know, like some kind of crazy orgy up in heaven. Yes, actually. Yeah. Or maybe it's just people… It's like, you know… plastic sandpaper. Everybody's just rubbing up against each other with their smoothness. What do you think? Yeah, rug burn. That's right. I got some cloud burn going on because I'm up in heaven. Right. That's interesting. So you spent four years at Catholic school. Now, I mean, the interesting thing as you talk about it is if it'skind of bad and good. It's not like you're angry about it. It's kind of like you're, you survived and you're kind of, you know, it's kind of quizzical to you, it seems like. Yeah, I'm not angry about it. I'm just like, I can't believe, I can't believe what they, they, what I went through. I can't believe so So you're saying basically you didn't buy into all the rhetoric is what you're telling me. Yes, pretty much. Yes. So what rhetoric would you, were the pieces that you, all the Catholics that I know, they always just take the pieces they like and then they leave the pieces they don't like. So which pieces did you like? I liked the confessional booth. You know, you go in, there's like a little peephole, you know, you can fly the door open. I mean, it just reminded me of like a 1920s speakeasy. Okay. Yeah. So I always… Just the physical nature of it? Or was it, do you like pouring your soul out to another person that you may or may not know? Oh, no, no, I didn't. I would go in there when no one's in the other little room. Yeah.Isn't that kind of like, you know, it's kind of weird because you could draw a comparison between the glory hole and confession. Yeah. And they're also called a Judas hole. Oh, really? I've never heard that one. Explain. I must have had something to do with Judas. Okay. So basically you shouldn't necessarily always trust who's behind the door there, behind the other side? Yeah. They could turn on you and say, Grace, give me 10 Hail Marys and… Bloody Mary. Community service. Oh, yeah. Well, it's up so high, I don't know how people would actually use it for anything else. Oh, okay. I've never given confession, so I've seen the box, but I've never been in it. I'm always afraid to, when I've been in a Catholic church, I'm always afraid to go in there because I certainly don't want to give my confession. Oh, I think it's going to be on your bucket list now. Uh-oh. You got to try it just once.I've only seen the ones in movies and on Seinfeld and whatnot where it's like right there where they're leaning against each other, basically. You said it's high up, so it's above where your head would be while you're sitting down, I'm assuming. Oh, you're sitting down and it's like where your head is. Yeah. Oh, okay. Interesting. So open the door before they open the door. Who's behind there? So did you have to give confession while you were in high school? It was an option. Oh, they didn't make you do it like, well, Grace, we haven't seen you by the confessional recently. You might want to go in there. I'm sure you're not been really that great. I mean, it's obvious. Thank goodness. It wasn't a grade. So it was just. Your clothing alone tells me you need to be in there. The what alone? Your clothing. My clothing alone.You're you're obviously breaking some of the dress codes here at the academy. Oh, the little plaid uniforms that look like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Probably for those girls who would, you know, roll up their their little skirt belts. Mm hmm. One too many times, and it made it like really, really a miniskirt. Uh-huh. Probably they were in confession. Probably in trouble, huh? Yeah. Hmm. So I don't want to necessarily talk about Catholic stuff all night. No offense. If you want to talk more about it, if you have like a proclivity to only talk about Catholic things, we can. But if not, I have some other questions. Let's go to the other question. I'll take other questions for 400. OK, so. So we were talking earlier, I said, if you had anything to plug, you can go ahead and say it. So is there anything you want to mention here at the now or. I like to get it out of the way and then we're going to come back to it at the end, but like to get it out of the way. Yeah, let's get it out of the way. Thank you, mom.for giving me lots of material to talk about. Oh yeah. And you can find me on Instagram. My handle is grace. Yeah. Underscore. Double O. Really? There's zero, zero. I just wanted the James Bond thing, but it's four, zero, zero. Is that because of your mother? Does she have some kind of crush on James Bond or something? Absolutely not. I don't think she even knows who he is. Really? So what, So why – so what is your mom – what's the worst thing your mom's done? Has she embarrassed you or what is she – has she punished you? Has she, you know, guilted you into, you know, taking care of her and paying for her car or something? Yes. Yep. All of that. All of

Bob has a terrible time travelling during the World Cup, while Miles takes us back to a simpler time where a 10-year-old could see celebrities in Dallas on their own. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/g7455VoOB28 Bob has a terrible time travelling during the World Cup, while Miles takes us back to a simpler time where a 10-year-old could see celebrities in Dallas on their own. Real Travel Bad AI Transcript How are you, young man? Which item do you identify with? The scotch tape? Ha ha! Bye. Hey, everyone. Miles with this podcast thing called Static Radio here. I love how you're so enthusiastic. You really get people into the mood of the show. I'm just an average guy. I'm just an average man living an average life. I work from 9 to 5. Hey, hell, I've paid the price. I've never done good things. I've never done bad things. You know, sometimes in your life, it's like feast or famine for stories. The night, it's feast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rather than just run right into it, how are you doing tonight? I'm, I'm doing well. I'm all right are you Do you want to tell the story first? No, I just have a really short thing I want to talk about because I know you're going to have a pretty long thing going on here. I'm a rambling man. Just because I had a request from one of our biggest fans. Oh, really? I wanted to honor that young man's request. Who was requesting this? Are we privy? It is a loyal listener by the name of CB. Oh, CB. A good old CB. CB.He's battling psoriasis right now, so he's like, Miles. Is he really? I'm just making that up. I don't know. Psoriasis kind of has negative connotations. You might want to say he's just got like pink eye or infantile. Yeah. Gingivitis. Gingivitis, yeah. I can see him having like fist disease or something weird, you know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure what he does, but anyway. We are brothers in arms. The disease of. but um no uh and unfortunately i've really through captions on tiktok and Facebook, I've actually told most of the story, but he wanted to hear a little bit more about, I'd posted some pictures, like they weren't really postcards, but kind of headshots of a couple of people from an old, old, old show that was on nbc called real people, people, uh, which was kind of a feel good stories, I guess, alifting feel good stories that, uh, there was like, what about six people on the cast? Uh, various times. Yeah. There was Skip Stevenson. I'm going on a memory here. Yeah. Barbara. Yep. Uh, uh, who's the Byron Allen. He was on later though. Oh, okay. Peter Billingsley was on Bill Rafferty as well. Bill Rafferty. That's what I was trying to remember. Bill Rafferty. And, um, Everybody's favorite porn house viewer. captain Willard, Fred Willard. Yeah. Yeah. And I think there was, I don't think there was anybody else that i can recall. Oh, Mark Russell appeared early on in the earlier seasons. And I think they got rid of that guy. Remember he played the piano and like did political songs. Oh, that guy. Was he on there? Yeah. He was on real people for a while. He played i'm gonna tell you, I'll tell you skip i'm gonna play a songYou know, Jimmy Carter, he likes peanuts. Wait, did you say peanuts? Yeah, it's peanuts. Peanuts. And then I think they got rid of him, and that's when Byron Allen came on. Oh. You know, I didn't. Wow, man, this guy knows his real people. Let's get rid of that stupid-ass white guy playing the piano, singing songs about, you know, Millard Fillmore. Yeah. Somebody hip in here, like Byron Allen. If you knew Susie like I knew Susie. What was the question? What was his question about it? You seem to be intrigued by it. Have you pleasured yourself to Sarah Pichelle? Not at that point. I was too young. Or was I? I was going to say, I didn't think you were too young. I don't know. I've probably been about 10 when that show came out. I know.Uh, but anyway, they had done, I kind of looked this up a little bit, but they had kind of done like this promotional thing where they rode like a train around United States. They had different promotional stops in different cities and they had, this was, I think early on. Cause, uh, as fate would have it, I was actually at one of these stops, um, down in Dallas, Texas. Yeah. I was like, hey, hey, where's the free stuff? My kid needs it. Interesting enough, I think I was there by myself. That's the weird part. Yeah, I was like a young kid. This is before you knew kids could be kidnapped and murdered. Hey, kid, go run around Daly Plaza or whatever it was. Kennedy got shot in the head. See what it's all about. There's this weird phallic-likebuilding, uh, in dallas called like the reunion center or something called the book depository. No, it's come on. It's a, come on. You know, I'm talking about, it's kind of a funky looking i've been to dallas actually. So, and i'm sure you have, I'm sure i've seen the area. Yeah. And, um, nap on the grassy knoll. No, I had, no, this has nothing to do with the grass. Get it Yeah. Get past that. Yeah. It has nothing to do with the book depository. The grass, you know, it has nothing, nothing. and uh so oddly and i don't know, I don't, I somehow happened upon this or i don't know how i heard about it. I went out. I remember being by myself though, like in this crowd of people, which i can't see sarah purcell i'll show her, you know, that's not the first time I, because my dad would win like this yearly trips for his company he worked for. And,I remember like walking around like downtown Toronto by myself when I was a kid. I'm like, wow. I mean, I'm like, I'm even here to tell you the truth. I'm lucky. I'm just that, you know, it's not like you're like prime. pickens as a child you know what i'm saying i don't know people are looking for you you're like one of those kids in the uh far side comics that you know sticks his head in the trap and whatnot i look like uh when i was kind of look like peter billingsley like if he went on a bender as a kid five o'clock shadow peter billingsley at eight and Yeah, my hair's all fucked up walking around. Kind of like Peter Billingsley mixed with W.C. Fields. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's me. Yeah. Okay. And so the train was there. And as I recall, this is a long time ago, I'm sure it was Skip Stevenson and Sarah Purcell. Wow. And they were waving to people. They weren't really.Fred Willard would have been the third A-lister. Bill Rafferty and John Barber, B-list at best. I don't like to say this is like a million years ago, so I really don't. This is like early, early 80s. You could just be making all this up is what you're saying. Yeah, so this is called the false memory. I don't know. It was implanted. But the odd part, if that wasn't odd enough, is like some dude had like a stack of like these headshots and literally just put it in my hands and walked away. I'm like, Here you go, here. You look like Peter Billingsley's drunk cousin. I'll give this to you. Are you on a bender, Peter, or what's going on? I don't know. I must have cherry-picked the ones I want. I just threw the rest in the dumpster. You didn't keep them all? No. You have no sense of history? No. At the time, you don't really think about stuff. You're like, oh, okay. I understand.this just happens all the time. You know, I could just randomly walk around downtown Dallas by myself as a child and 10 years old. I don't know how old I was. Yeah. Be honest. You're like 25. Come on. Yeah, I wish. No, that is true though. Yes. I went to the red light district. Uh, you know, one night, we didn't get to stay at the nice hotel. And I think we actually stayed very close to the red light district. That's what your dad was. I, I only got two nights at the good hotel. Yeah. And I don't know why, but cause I, the only thing I remember like out in front, there was like this huge rat and had been run over. Oh, great. And it had like dried out, like all of its juices were gone. So all it was like, just kind of a gross, you know, whatever it was, you know, like, Oh, a rapper, you know, like, Oh,The things you remember on trips. So, yeah. So, but I know that I, I didn't get to shake anyone's hand or, you know, I was quite a, you know, a lot of people got to steal a stack of headshots. I didn't steal. No, some dude, just some random dude. I have random people come into my life. You know, when I was younger, green gave the Jersey to the kid, this guy, big kid. Yeah. I mean, I wish it would have been like $100 bills or something. No, it's like headshots of real people. Well, little did you know, those are worth $100 a piece now. I know. I know. I sent this to you privately. You're like, where's Sheriff Rousseau? I want to knock it off, man. Like, I don't have it. I threw it away. I threw it away. No, they were…How, in the end of the story, I guess, to conclude it is that, uh, my niece, my niece's nephew, their dad passed earlier this year and they're kind of cleaning out his house. And there was like this big thing of like postcards that, uh, my sister had. Right. And, uh, like it's postcards upon postcards upon postcards of zoo animals and hotels, like. I said to my mom, I go, back in the day, didn't hotels have like free postcards like they kept in the room

The Minotaur In this episode of the Mondo Freako podcast, host Bob LeMent interviews movie reviewer and podcaster Houston Pierce, whose own show, A Thousand Crazy Questions, is currently on hiatus until the fall. The episode kicks off with a seven-question trivia quiz on the Minotaur from Greek mythology. To both of their surprises, Houston achieves a perfect score, correctly identifying details such as the Minotaur's parents, its given name Asterion, Daedalus as the designer of the labyrinth, and the tragic mistake Theseus made with his ship's sails upon returning to Athens. Following the quiz, the conversation shifts into a deeper discussion about the nature of Greek mythology, exploring whether ancient citizens viewed these tales as literal history and religion rather than fiction. Bob and Houston analyze the deeply flawed, human-like pettiness of the Greek gods, comparing their dramatic behavior to modern reality television. They also touch upon pop culture adaptations, contrasting the 1997 television movie The Odyssey and Ray Harryhausen’s classic 1981 Clash of the Titans with modern cinematic remakes. The episode wraps up with a humorous theory about the gods potentially being ancient aliens, alongside a playful critique of the structural plot holes in the classic Minotaur myth. 1000 Crazy QuestionsItsHoustonPierce https://youtube.com/live/q17ysmrp7bo Labyrinth of the Minotaur Game (Click Graphic to Start) Transcript (AI transcription) Hey Houston, how clean is your desk? as a 13-year-old boy's internet history. Uh-oh. Watch out. Everybody welcome to Mondo Free. Hondo Rico. That's right. Thank you. Tonight I've got with me Mr. Houston Pierce with a thousand crazy questions. Hello? How are you doing tonight? I'm sorry. I didn't hear me over the music, probably. Oh, I can hear you a little bit. I'm doing good. It's just a little faint, but I'm doing good. Oh, okay. I can bump it up a little bit there. What do you think? It's a little faint. I can hear you just a little bit. Oh, that's weird. I wonder what the deal is there. I'm like my regular levels here. I'll turn up my stuff. All right. It's probably my stuff. I don't know. Oh, okay. I'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. So welcome to Mondo Frico. I got Houston with me here. I can throw the name up there just for the heck of it. There you go. And Houston's got a show called A Thousand Crazy Questions. What number are you up to now, Houston? I think…How many do I have? I think I was about to pass up 100 episodes, but I don't. I forgot. Right now, my podcast is hibernating and sleeping. I'm probably going to wake it up this fall. So probably when Halloween season. You have to get up to that thousand. Turn it back on and have new guests. More questions. Oh, a thousand. I don't know. The questions. I don't know. I don't know. I haven't even tried to calculate that. I was thinking of episodes. That's fine. Either way, you got to get to a thousand on something. Don't you think? Yeah. Yeah. It's just, you know, a thousand is just there to be like, you know, like a lot. I think I've said this before on, I think I was a guest on someone's podcast, but I mentioned how the number of thousand actually came from. Remember that show, A Thousand Ways to Die? Uh-huh. Is it?Matt? No, not Matt TV. What was that one? Spike? I think it was Spike. Oh, on Spike. Yeah, I think you're right. On the old Spike TV. And I saw that as like a kid. I was like, a thousand seems like such a big word. And I decided the word big number. And I just kind of like the way it sounded. A thousand ways to die. So I took it by the way. Oh, a thousand questions. There you go. And part of those could be ways to die as well. a lot of them actually are ways to die so yeah exactly well uh we'll be watching for when you come back uh from hiatus yeah you're working on some other stuff in the meantime, but definitely. Okay. You don't want to talk about that, the other stuff no i i should thank you for watching that uh i have a different channel uh it's houston pierce that's literally the name. It's like i t sHouston Pierce on IG, on Instagram. I post my humble two cents on movies and movie reviews, some movie essays. I also, if you look up Houston Pierce on YouTube, it's the same handle. Houston, I think, underscore Pierce is the only difference for YouTube and Instagram. But Houston Pierce, that's the name I'm going, that's my name, so that's where it is. On TikTok, on YouTube, and on IG. It's Houston Pierce. What's the last movie you saw? What did you talk about? The last movie I talked about was Passengers, but the last movie I saw just last night was He-Man, and I haven't got a chance to review it yet. He-Man and Skeletor. Ah, Houston, we're here. He-Man is in the way. That's a pretty good Skeletor. Thank you very much, Houston. If you want me to do that for you, I'm just joking.If you want me to put that into your review somewhere, I'll be happy to do that. I'm just joking with you. You did. This is a better skeletal voice than what I have. It sounds a little different. Everybody should check it out. Check it out. Well, do you want to – I'll give you the choice here, Houston. Now, we talked briefly via some notes earlier. And I'll give you the choice. Do you want to do the quiz first, or do you want to hear what tonight's thing is? I think every time I've been on, I've asked for the quiz first. So I'm not going to stop doing that. Okay, here we go. Quiz. Quiz. Quiz. Quiz. Tell me if you can see that. You might not be able to read it, but can you see it? I can see it. I can see it. I don't know how to make that bigger, honestly. But yeah, it's kind of small there, isn't it? But that's okay. Let's see. Can we do that? No, it doesn't help at all, does it? Actually, the second part was a bit better. A little bit better. I'm going to read them out to you, so don't worry about it too much.Okay. All right, here we go. The quiz is on the Minotaur. Okay. Have you ever heard of the Minotaur? Yeah, I've heard it. Minotaur, Minotaur. I don't know which one's right. Well, here in the Midwest, we say Minotaur. Minotaur. It could be Minotaur. But yeah, and the Minotaur is… Greek mythology. The Minotaur is the horse man, I think. No, is that a centaur? No, the Minotaur is that bull. The Minotaur is the bull man. There you go. Who were the parents of the Minotaur? Was it A, King Minos and Queen Pasipha? B, Poseidon and Amphitrite? C, Zeus and Hera, or D, King Aegis and Medea? And I have a hint if you want it. This is the hardest quiz I've had yet so far, Bob. But I like it. I'm here for it. There's a hint. If you want a hint, I'll click on the hint. I don't know. Keep your… No. Keep your hints to yourself. Your pitiful hints. Um…I think, I know, okay, I'm pretty sure the mentor is cursed. So he probably has regular, probably had regular parents. So it's either King Marcos and Queen something or King Ergos and Medea. I would go with A, King Marcos and Queen Palpatine. I'll go with that one. King Minos and Queen Pasipha. He's royalty, right? Here we go. You're right! That's right. The Minotaur was born to Queen Pasipha of Crete in a magnificent white bowl. Minos was Pasipha's husband, making him the Minotaur's stepfather, kind of. She was kind of cheating on him with a bowl, apparently. I don't think that was how that conversation went. What do you mean you're pregnant? Well, I mean, did you see the competition? I mean, I don't know. No, that's gross. Forget I said that. Let's move on to number two. You got one right. That's fantastic here. Cool. What was the Minotaur's real name? He's not just the Minotaur, folks. He's got his own name, his given name. Was it A, Asterion, B, Theron, C, Labyrinthus, or D, Kronos? I have a hint if you'd like it.I think this is either A or B because elaborate this means that that couldn't be it. That's just not right. Kronos, I know. It's not Kronos. A or B. Is he a cool guy? Is it Theon? Theron? Or is it Asteron? I'll go with B because… No. I won't subject to the hit. So you want to go with B? Uh… I'm going to pick A. A. All right. Here we go. Yes. Yes. Asterion. The Minotaur's given name was Asterion or Asterius, meaning starry one. The term Minotaur itself is a combination of Minos and Tauros, the bull, essentially meaning bull of Minos. There you go. Learn something new every day, right? Or also, you know, my wife slept with a white bull. That's also what it means. Yeah. Yeah. That's Minos Toros Blanco anyway. Next question. Question three. You got two. You're doing fantastic here. Who designed the labyrinth to contain the Minotaur? Was it a…Hesiphotus, which I've said that I like sneezed. Hesiphotus? Daedalus? Icarus? Or Prometheus? All the theses in here. All these theses. The thing is, too, these are all good actual things. They are. I don't know who A is. I know who Daedalus and Icarus are. And I know who Prometheus is. I think this may be… Again, this is either A or B. Oh, no. Okay. I have a hint. No hints. I refuse. This has to be. This has to be. Oh, man. Did Daedalus make the thing? He was an inventor. Did he make the labyrinth? Or is it A? You could have picked A every single time, right? That goes against the rules. Yeah, it goes against multiple choice. Yeah. There's rules for that, isn't there? There's like a worldwide Congress for multiple choice questions. Yeah. You can't pick A every time. That'd be insane. I want to pick A, but just because of the rules of multiple choice, I want to say it's B. Let me go with B. I'll go with Daedalus. I know he's an actual inventor. Daedalus. Yes. Let's see. It's right. Oh.Th

Bob gets irritated about a high school scam site, while Miles drags his elderly mother to all the sites in Christmas. Special Bonus Game this week – https://www.staticradio.com/baked-game/index.html Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/2zZ5uASCyzQ Bob gets irritated about a high school scam site, while Miles drags his elderly mother to all the sites in Christmas. Tidal Baked Bad AI Transcript Yes, Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow duet. You would be great in the sequel. Yeah. We'll be doing it together. Oh, yeah. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. Miles, you're singing co-host. That's right. Miles, you're working over there at the casino there on the river, are you now? I'm dirty dealing. I was thinking more you were the lounge singer. Oh, I see. Star Wars. Nothing but Star Wars. I enjoy singing, I just can't sing. That is my problem. I think you do a, I mean, you know. Eh, I don't know. A fine job. Eh. I don't know if you knew this, but, you know, we're here on Plausible, and Leanne sometimes sends out a thing that reminds people to come here, and usually it's like a little clip, and it has music behind it. Mm-hmm.Well, this week's was some special music. Okay. It was the Baby Elephant song. Oh, I didn't pay attention to that. Well, you love that song. I love that song. You love that song. I wrote, I said, I can't believe that you chose that music. I mean, that's hilarious. Because Miles used to go to all of the minor league baseball games where he lives and dance to that song. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You don't want to say anything about it? No, I don't want to say anything about that, no. You could get up and play that song and you would dance your heart out. Because I was a dancing queen. Dancing queen. Sing along with it. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was funny because it goes way back, way back. No one knew that, I'm sure. She put down a listing for a show. I go, yeah, it'll leave you speechless. Yeah. And she just now saw it after I posted this like two weeks ago. Yeah.Cause she's lost her voice. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah. Like polyps or something. Yeah. She's still lost. She's still a never voice. I don't think. Really? Yeah. I don't think so. I think she's still dealing. Oh, yeah. Now the other thing is you used to play that song with a stapler. Uh, yes, I did the library. Yeah. Yes, I did. I, I would do that. It was a squeaky stapler and I would, I would sing along to that song and use a stapler to annoy people. Right. Yeah. Or abuse them. It's got a lot of connotation, the baby elephant song for you. It's like, you know, and Snuffleupagus is your favorite Sesame Street character. Yeah. And you dress up as a furry as him and go to conventions. You know me too well. You know me too well, yeah. You like to walk around and go, hey, brr.I do the front part and some other guy does the ass part because it's like a two-man furry costume. Yeah, you got to get some accomplice. It's kind of like a human centipede kind of thing. Yeah. Oh, no. I got gas. Oh, my God. We all ate burritos. Oh, shit. The only thing they had was Taco Bar. Hope you liked Jimmy Chang goes. Yeah. Gross. Yeah. That's gross. That's gross. That's so gross. Yeah. So I know you went on an adventure this week. And so I'm just going to pass it to you. I don't really have much going on. I was Mr. Homebody. And here you are gallivanting all around the place. So I got extremely phlegmy. Like, exact moment, I, like, try to jump into this thing. I'm like, Jesus. So, I'm sorry. Psychosomatic, do you think? I don't know. I swear to God, it was not like this up until the second i started talking to you and it's like there's goo in my mouth. Every time we think of it. Every time it's like a bomb, I get goo in my mouth. Every time always make me sad so uh weWe went on a short, I guess, family vacation, if you will, I suppose. And, uh, uh, went over to the Chicago suburbs, not Chicago suburbs. No, no, we didn't have a Mason. Uh, what's his name? Mason Adams. He was not part of our group. No. I thought you were doing his voice there. Oh. this whole goddamn family it was it was title's way yeah and uh we took two cars and, because there was a bunch of us. and we like to spend a lot of money on gas, so. Well, had I known, yeah, it was going to be like $5 a gallon. I probably would have canceled the whole goddamn thing to be honest with you. There's nothing better than you like standing at that pump and just watching those numbers go higher and higher. Yeah. I can see why you stayed home. Yeah. Miles thinks it's like a slot machine, but he doesn't realize this is why your cheap ass stayed home. Cause you're just so fucking cheap. You're like, there's no way.I was spending $5 a gallon. Exactly. I'm in bankruptcy court with all this fucking mulch I bought. That's right. Still paying off my mulch bill. I did lay away. My wife tells the occupants of the car, they got a little bit later starting. We did. We're like, She's like, well, we'll all meet up at this one town that we all know pretty well, and we'll stop at the gas station that's like a quickie mart with a little brand fast food place attached to it. Okay, that sounds good. Which I thought I didn't say anything at first. I'm like, I don't think there's one of those in this town we're going to. Right, okay. But I didn't say anything. I'm like, well, I'm sure she…you know, she must know this. I don't know. She was very confident. We got there. I wasn't going to question her is what you're saying, right? Yeah. So I'm like, okay, well, you know, I'm like you, like, I can't question it. I can't question the authority figure. So no, I'm like, okay, well, and we get there and she's like, oh, darn it. I was thinking of a different town. Oh, now everyone's confused. And I'm just like, not saying anything like, Oh, And so we park outside. We get a hold of my son. We say, hey, listen, change of plans. We're going to meet at the box store parking lot here. And so we did meet up. And so we're trying to figure out what we want to do. You know, one of those crazy things. Because nothing really had been set in stone. Okay. We've got three choices. Subway, McDonald's, or a random Mexican restaurant. Well, you're kind of getting to the point there, actually. That's every little town. That's every little town. Or a Chinese restaurant. No, this is a decent town. I mean, this is not. Yeah. This is my kind of town. Yeah. Hey.So my oldest son's like, I gotta eat. You got the key to it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. My oldest son is like, I have to eat, man. It's like going at two o'clock already. He goes, I gotta eat. Yeah. You gotta eat. You gotta eat. Oh yeah. We're all hungry. All right. He goes, well, we're going to go to X, Y, Z, and we'll just meet you over there. I said, okay. Okay. And so they take off first and we futz around for a minute. We take off. Yeah. And. Like, my car decides, well, why do we have to go eat where they want to eat? Why don't we pick where we want to eat? You know? Your car decided this? Oh, your car, as in everybody in the car. Gotcha. Yeah. So, I had, like, half the group in my car. The other half group was the other. And so, they go. And so, we're going down the road. And there's, you know, all names you would recognize. Wendy's. Yes. Yes. That was one of them. Yeah.And suddenly there's like this, I don't think it's a chain, but it's like some chicken joint or something. Oh, yeah. It was a hot chicken? I love the hot chicken. It's like chicken conundrum or something. I don't know. It's like, okay. Chicken conundrum. Oh, I love chicken conundrum. Yeah, it's got some cartoonish, you know, big rooster. What am I doing here? I'm dead. Yeah. And I'm like, huh? Well, okay. I guess, you know, no one will fess up to actually pick this. I'm like, okay. And, um, I go, well, who the hell knows? Obviously there's chicken on the menu, but you know, who the fuck knows what's, you know, I go, why don't we, why don't we go in, take our time, look at the menu, you know, see the prices maybe first, um,you know right no no stupid idea no stupid idea yeah stupid idea dad just keep going. Pull around the building and we'll just go through the drive-thru. Oh, you're eating in the car? I'm like, or, or we could go in. Oh, no. Free will. Free will. You should go around the, like, okay. All right. Yeah. All right. I've been outvoted we're gonna go to the drive-thru. All right. We're going to the drive-thru. I wouldn't eat in the car myself, but you know, I know it's not allowed in your family. I know you guys are weirdos. I know you don't probably do that. And I apologize because I know your family would be very uptight about doing this. So, so, uh, excuse me. So we get there. I know I was not like this, like I'm telling you. And anyway, uh, so I can see the menu board to some degree and like the other people cannot, I can't see what they got.And so my wife's like, well, chicken strips. I'm like, yeah, no, I don't even know if gizzards were allowed. I don't know. So, so, uh, my wife's trying to order through like the little back window that rolls down halfway, you know? Hello. Yes. Can we help you? Hello. Uh, yeah, we want to get a lot of chicken strips. Welcome to chicken conundrum. Yeah. So my wife's trying to work a deal, you know, like, well, your, your regular size comes in five, right? Yes. Affirmative. Yes. She goes, well, can you get something bigger than that? Hold on. Yes. You can get the family meal. Oh, okay.

Miles takes the family out to eat at Chicken Conundrum and is shocked by the prices, while Bob stays home and vegetates for the Memorial Holiday. Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/4LM33VOJ1m8 Miles takes the family out to eat at Chicken Conundrum and is shocked by the prices, while Bob stays home and vegetates for the Memorial Holiday. Vacation Conundrum Bad AI Transcript Yes, Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow duet. You would be great in the sequel. Yeah. We'll be doing it together. Oh, yeah. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. Miles, you're singing co-host. That's right. Miles, you're working over there at the casino there on the river, are you now? I'm dirty dealing. I was thinking more you were the lounge singer. Oh, I see. Star Wars. Nothing but Star Wars. I enjoy singing, I just can't sing. That is my problem. I think you do a, I mean, you know. Eh, I don't know. A fine job. Eh. I don't know if you knew this, but, you know, we're here on Plausible, and Leanne sometimes sends out a thing that reminds people to come here, and usually it's like a little clip, and it has music behind it. Mm-hmm.Well, this week's was some special music. Okay. It was the Baby Elephant song. Oh, I didn't pay attention to that. Well, you love that song. I love that song. You love that song. I wrote, I said, I can't believe that you chose that music. I mean, that's hilarious. Because Miles used to go to all of the minor league baseball games where he lives and dance to that song. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You don't want to say anything about it? No, I don't want to say anything about that, no. You could get up and play that song and you would dance your heart out. Because I was a dancing queen. Dancing queen. Sing along with it. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was funny because it goes way back, way back. No one knew that, I'm sure. She put down a listing for a show. I go, yeah, it'll leave you speechless. Yeah. And she just now saw it after I posted this like two weeks ago. Yeah.Cause she's lost her voice. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah. Like polyps or something. Yeah. She's still lost. She's still a never voice. I don't think. Really? Yeah. I don't think so. I think she's still dealing. Oh, yeah. Now the other thing is you used to play that song with a stapler. Uh, yes, I did the library. Yeah. Yes, I did. I, I would do that. It was a squeaky stapler and I would, I would sing along to that song and use a stapler to annoy people. Right. Yeah. Or abuse them. It's got a lot of connotation, the baby elephant song for you. It's like, you know, and Snuffleupagus is your favorite Sesame Street character. Yeah. And you dress up as a furry as him and go to conventions. You know me too well. You know me too well, yeah. You like to walk around and go, hey, brr.I do the front part and some other guy does the ass part because it's like a two-man furry costume. Yeah, you got to get some accomplice. It's kind of like a human centipede kind of thing. Yeah. Oh, no. I got gas. Oh, my God. We all ate burritos. Oh, shit. The only thing they had was Taco Bar. Hope you liked Jimmy Chang goes. Yeah. Gross. Yeah. That's gross. That's gross. That's so gross. Yeah. So I know you went on an adventure this week. And so I'm just going to pass it to you. I don't really have much going on. I was Mr. Homebody. And here you are gallivanting all around the place. So I got extremely phlegmy. Like, exact moment, I, like, try to jump into this thing. I'm like, Jesus. So, I'm sorry. Psychosomatic, do you think? I don't know. I swear to God, it was not like this up until the second i started talking to you and it's like there's goo in my mouth. Every time we think of it. Every time it's like a bomb, I get goo in my mouth. Every time always make me sad so uh weWe went on a short, I guess, family vacation, if you will, I suppose. And, uh, uh, went over to the Chicago suburbs, not Chicago suburbs. No, no, we didn't have a Mason. Uh, what's his name? Mason Adams. He was not part of our group. No. I thought you were doing his voice there. Oh. this whole goddamn family it was it was title's way yeah and uh we took two cars and, because there was a bunch of us. and we like to spend a lot of money on gas, so. Well, had I known, yeah, it was going to be like $5 a gallon. I probably would have canceled the whole goddamn thing to be honest with you. There's nothing better than you like standing at that pump and just watching those numbers go higher and higher. Yeah. I can see why you stayed home. Yeah. Miles thinks it's like a slot machine, but he doesn't realize this is why your cheap ass stayed home. Cause you're just so fucking cheap. You're like, there's no way.I was spending $5 a gallon. Exactly. I'm in bankruptcy court with all this fucking mulch I bought. That's right. Still paying off my mulch bill. I did lay away. My wife tells the occupants of the car, they got a little bit later starting. We did. We're like, She's like, well, we'll all meet up at this one town that we all know pretty well, and we'll stop at the gas station that's like a quickie mart with a little brand fast food place attached to it. Okay, that sounds good. Which I thought I didn't say anything at first. I'm like, I don't think there's one of those in this town we're going to. Right, okay. But I didn't say anything. I'm like, well, I'm sure she…you know, she must know this. I don't know. She was very confident. We got there. I wasn't going to question her is what you're saying, right? Yeah. So I'm like, okay, well, you know, I'm like you, like, I can't question it. I can't question the authority figure. So no, I'm like, okay, well, and we get there and she's like, oh, darn it. I was thinking of a different town. Oh, now everyone's confused. And I'm just like, not saying anything like, Oh, And so we park outside. We get a hold of my son. We say, hey, listen, change of plans. We're going to meet at the box store parking lot here. And so we did meet up. And so we're trying to figure out what we want to do. You know, one of those crazy things. Because nothing really had been set in stone. Okay. We've got three choices. Subway, McDonald's, or a random Mexican restaurant. Well, you're kind of getting to the point there, actually. That's every little town. That's every little town. Or a Chinese restaurant. No, this is a decent town. I mean, this is not. Yeah. This is my kind of town. Yeah. Hey.So my oldest son's like, I gotta eat. You got the key to it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. My oldest son is like, I have to eat, man. It's like going at two o'clock already. He goes, I gotta eat. Yeah. You gotta eat. You gotta eat. Oh yeah. We're all hungry. All right. He goes, well, we're going to go to X, Y, Z, and we'll just meet you over there. I said, okay. Okay. And so they take off first and we futz around for a minute. We take off. Yeah. And. Like, my car decides, well, why do we have to go eat where they want to eat? Why don't we pick where we want to eat? You know? Your car decided this? Oh, your car, as in everybody in the car. Gotcha. Yeah. So, I had, like, half the group in my car. The other half group was the other. And so, they go. And so, we're going down the road. And there's, you know, all names you would recognize. Wendy's. Yes. Yes. That was one of them. Yeah.And suddenly there's like this, I don't think it's a chain, but it's like some chicken joint or something. Oh, yeah. It was a hot chicken? I love the hot chicken. It's like chicken conundrum or something. I don't know. It's like, okay. Chicken conundrum. Oh, I love chicken conundrum. Yeah, it's got some cartoonish, you know, big rooster. What am I doing here? I'm dead. Yeah. And I'm like, huh? Well, okay. I guess, you know, no one will fess up to actually pick this. I'm like, okay. And, um, I go, well, who the hell knows? Obviously there's chicken on the menu, but you know, who the fuck knows what's, you know, I go, why don't we, why don't we go in, take our time, look at the menu, you know, see the prices maybe first, um,you know right no no stupid idea no stupid idea yeah stupid idea dad just keep going. Pull around the building and we'll just go through the drive-thru. Oh, you're eating in the car? I'm like, or, or we could go in. Oh, no. Free will. Free will. You should go around the, like, okay. All right. Yeah. All right. I've been outvoted we're gonna go to the drive-thru. All right. We're going to the drive-thru. I wouldn't eat in the car myself, but you know, I know it's not allowed in your family. I know you guys are weirdos. I know you don't probably do that. And I apologize because I know your family would be very uptight about doing this. So, so, uh, excuse me. So we get there. I know I was not like this, like I'm telling you. And anyway, uh, so I can see the menu board to some degree and like the other people cannot, I can't see what they got.And so my wife's like, well, chicken strips. I'm like, yeah, no, I don't even know if gizzards were allowed. I don't know. So, so, uh, my wife's trying to order through like the little back window that rolls down halfway, you know? Hello. Yes. Can we help you? Hello. Uh, yeah, we want to get a lot of chicken strips. Welcome to chicken conundrum. Yeah. So my wife's trying to work a deal, you know, like, well, your, your regular size comes in five, right? Yes. Affirmative. Yes. She goes, well, can you get something bigger than that? Hold on. Yes. You can get the family meal. Oh, okay. Well, you got a family. I'm like, okay, well, you know, all right. Yeah. Is that cheaper? Uh, no, that I wish, I wish, I

This Week On the latest episode of LeMent Tonight, host Bob LeMent sits down with Ted the Impressionist, an alt-comedy performer specializing in rapid-fire, absurdist impressions of animals, ghosts, and vegetables, such as a cat pretending to be a microwave and a squash with bad taste. Eschewing standard 2020s observational humor, Ted describes his act as clean, accessible, and designed to generate comic tension through sheer presentation rather than classic punchlines. Ted discusses the grind of breaking through the industry's "chicken-and-egg" experience barrier, sharing how he continuously experiments with his act much like Thomas Edison or Shakespeare borrowing from his sources. The conversation takes several bizarre, comedic turns as Ted introduces his puppet sidekicks, Wally—a neutrino turned nutritionist—and Barney Bacteria, who chimes in with gut-health advice and poop jokes. Bob and Ted also chat about Ted's side project, Bushmiller Remixed, a Facebook page dedicated to modifying old, "lame" Nancy and Sluggo comic strips with lyrics from the Ramones or Barnes & Barnes' cult-classic song "Fish Heads." The interview wraps up with a surreal advice segment where Ted hilariously suggests Bob resolve a neighborhood cat love triangle by equipping everyone in matching, color-coded Crocs and beekeeper suits. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HR3yuJJjtu0 Bad AI Transcript Okay. Ted's ready. Here we go. Welcome to Wednesday. And with me tonight is Ted the Impressionist. And his little cats on the whiteboard. And it can do. As always with me is Gary Limes and the Flea Tones. And welcome to Metal Limits tonight, everybody. I'm Bob LeMets. Now, my guest here tonight is Ted the Impressionist. Now, Ted, believe it or not, an impressionist, always delivers what his mama told him. Whenever you meet new people, Always make good impressions. I think she said it just like that. And so his mission on stage compels Ted to perform fabulous impressions of dogs, cats, got to see that one, birds, chimps, ghosts, vegetables, chickens, and more. So many. It's like getting hit on the head with a shovel. They all leave a deep impression on your mind. Ted has performed throughout the Northeast and in New York City nightclubs. He produces his own shows, Coop Comedy.bronco uh brad dang tootin good time show whoo that's a mouthful. And Gonzo Gala. Hey, everybody. It's Ted, the Impressionist. Welcome, Ted. Hello, Bob. How you doing? Nice to see you there shouldn't I? Yeah, it's great. I don't smoke. It probably fits in your impressions right there. There you go. Yes, thank you but well it's good to be here, Bob. So take it away. I'm sorry. Say that again. Take it away. Let's get some impressioning going here. Oh, okay. Right. I'm sorry. That's right. It's my cue. Sorry about that, Bob. Okay. Well, thank you, Bob. And hello everyone for you. A lovely audience out there. Okay. So many people enjoy cat impressions. And so why not have some cat impressions? Okay, great. Here's a cat.pretending to be a backhoe. Always good for cleaning the litter box. Thank you, Bob. I wrote that. Okay. Now here's a cat as a microwave. Meow. Dinner's ready. Okay. Now, here are cats racing at the Indianapolis 500. Well, except for the Kyle Busch cat. Okay. Now, here is some dog impressions for you. A hillbilly dog convinced his dead father talks to him through his foot. you say paw now here's a dog as quality control inspector at the sandpaper factory rough i wrote that okay well and uh let's see here's uh hmm oh here's a dog actor in a tarantino western slowly dying in a hail of bullets Tino wrote that. Well, that's been a wonderful two minutes. I'm certainly glad to be here, Bob. Well, thank you very much. Thank you very much for inviting me here. Appreciate it. Oh, I don't smoke. OK, so how about you? Thank you very much. And, you know, a little triggering. But other than that, it's now where have I where have I seen you or met you before, Bob?Well, you probably see me here on lament tonight at the desk. Oh, well, i mean like at a comedy show, though, haven't i seen? No, probably not i'm not i don't live in new york apologies okay i live i live in the Midwest, and uh so yeah oh okay i haven't performed with you or alongside you in a plausible show or a zoom mic anywhere? Oh, you might have seen me on the uh monthly comedy contest. Oh, okay. Okay. All right. Yeah. I usually show up for those. Oh, okay. Gotcha. Yeah. I haven't done one in a while. Maybe that's when it was. Yeah. You know what? It's not about me. It's about you. Huh? It's not about me. It's about you. We need to talk about you, Ted. Oh, well, no, I don't want to be selfish. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's all about me. Blah, blah, blah, blah. What does Ted like? What does he like to eat? Where does he like to go swimming? All good questions. Tai Chi? No, you know, Bob, it's a give and take conversation. You know, people want to know about, you know, what kind of guy you are. So, you know, we're going to give and take. But I'm just curious because I wanted to know.Okay. So that's, uh, you want to go back to me? Yeah, let's go back to you now. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Your, your bio says, you know, you, uh, started doing these impressions uh i'm guessing we talked about your mother. So I'm guessing it was when you were younger. Now, do you, you said cats, birds, chimps, ghosts, vegetables? Do you only do, uh, do you ever do inanimate objects or does it always have to be animal based? No, there are vegetable impressions that I've written as well. Oh, okay. Give me a demonstration, like cauliflower? Oh, would you like to see that? Oh, okay. Oh, okay, a demonstration. Okay, here's, let's see, a squash with bad taste. Hey, everyone, how do you like my checkered pants?Now, here's a zucchini. Well, let's see, a zucchini that has no moral values. Oh, I'm full of moral conundrums. I think all zucchini have no moral values, but that just may be. Well, that's a good philosophical point. Right. Oh, here's a green tomato. Hey, can someone tell me what I'm supposed to do? I haven't been trained. Now here's a fried green tomato. So, okay. So we've got vegetable, we've got animal vegetables. Do you do minerals? No, but that's a very good one. Yeah, I should try that. You know, the whole animal, vegetable, mineral thing, because there's a song on a Broadway show about that. Well, you know, granite and marble, you know, they don't do anything. They just sit on the ground. You know, that's kind of wacky to do a granite impression. It's crazy. You know, it might be a good, you know,balance for things, you know, from the cats. I'll certainly give that a try, Bob. Yeah. Oh, I don't smoke. So have you done these things your whole life, these impressions this way? Or, I mean, when did this, you know, you're like, you wake up one morning and you're like, I want to do impressions that most people don't do. Well, you know, I, Been working steadily on my comedy career, and this is the kind of thing that's really taken off. I've tried doing edgelord material. I wrote this bit about smoking weed, playing with your pee-pee, and the Russo-Japanese War of 1905. Would you like to hear it? Sure. Okay. Hey, everyone. Have you ever fought in a war against the Russian fleet and they completely annihilate you? And you say to yourself, what the heck? Am I just smoking weed and playing with my pee-pee? I wrote that. There you go. But the impressions really took off. Yeah, that's good. Oh, I don't smoke. Okay.to you, Bob. go back to me so so i'm like what where what was the antithesis of this was your list like i mean with the other stuff just wasn't working? And you're like, you know what? I think i would rather do, you know, kitten impersonations than doing historical uh masturbation material. Help. The historic stuff wasn't really going over at kids parties. So I figured, you know, why not try some impressions, see how it works out. You know, it's kind of clean comedy. Most people can relate to because most people have either a cat or a dog, sometimes both. Many people do eat vegetables. So it was easy enough to just move over to that genre of doing impressions that appeals to a wider audience.Okay. Do you ever think about doing, you know, like fast food or anything like that? I'm a Big Mac and I'm, you know. Not yet, but I'll consider that. Possibly, I'll consider that. You know, I'm still working on this, you know, this whole thing, Bob. You know, it's just at the very crest of my career. Here's the crest. career and now it's cresting. Oh, you're cresting. So yeah, I'm still working on it yeah i haven't reached the apex yet. You know, this is good for all you geometry majors out there. Crest, apex, you know, optimal curve trajectory all that yeah later on i'll be discussing quantum equations. Oh, very good. You think this would play in the quantum realm? Well, that's where wally the happy talking neutrino comes in ohBut I find that I have to explain what a neutrino is because it's just not in the common parlance. Is it like a neutrino is like smaller than a red box? Yeah, exactly. The tiniest particle in the universe. At the moment. Okay, Mr. Buckyball, you got me there. Good point. At the moment, I think, because everything changes. And so they thought the smallest thing was dust. And then now we're all the way down. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I think Ben Franklin was like, dust is the smallest thing. Right. So Wally, the neutrino, has recently double crossed me. He has explained now to the audience on the stage that he's now Wally, the happy talking nutritionist. And so I have to go along with it because otherwise he won't perform live. So what are you going to do? You got your partner, you know, grows, evolves, and, you know, you have to grow and evolve with them. When you're at the bottom of the food chain, what are you going to do? Well, I wouldn't know

Miles hangs out with the famous and unhinged, while Bob has an interesting dinner on the Riverwalk. Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/2aj6xyZjGOI Bob endures a teeth cleaning that becomes rather suspect, while Miles gets bad news about his sister, but not that bad. Whose Bunny Bad AI Transcript Magma in my eyes. In my eyes. Okay. Addict. Transportation kills. Hey, everyone smiles. Girls aren't them. See you later. Girls aren't them. Have a tater. I can't imagine Simon Le Bon saying have a tater. He was from Idaho. People think that he's British, but he's really from Idaho. There's all these subliminal potato lyrics that he put in. Who was the other guy? Nick Rhodes. Nick Rhodes was like, Simon, we can't have all these potato references. Or Ida. cheese and potatoes simon laban single-handedly got uh mcdonald's to only have idaho potatoes. Yeah. In the 80s, so. Before that, there was just any old farmer can sell mcdonald's french fry potatoes, but nope. His boat capsized in the 80s because it was full of potatoes. Full of potatoes. He was smuggling potatoes into the Isle of Man. That really happened in his boat sink or something. You're thinking of the Rio video where they're in suits on a boat. No, no, for real. No, he was like in a boating thing. He didn't get hurt. That's no boating accident. In a boating accident, yes.I've heard you on the radio and I've seen you on the radio. I wouldn't look it up, but I don't. Smuggler's eyes. Smuggler potatoes. I can't something to do with gravy. I don't know either. It's kind of goofy tonight here, Miles. I just don't know the words to these songs anymore. I can't remember the words. I had a photographic memory from the 80s, but I lost it. Only on Sunday. Everybody just makes them up. It's okay. You can just look every one of these up if you wanted to. I'm going to get some letter from our fan CB now. Hey, man. That wasn't really cool. Blue Monday, blue day. Can you see things my way? So anyway, I went on a little trip. Take a little trip. Take a little trip. I had to go to San Antonio, Texas, everyone. Welcome to San Antonio.antonio texas hey he followed charlie prize advice and went down to san antonio exactly charlie good old charlie pride you think that was his real name? I don't think he, he didn't look like a charlie or a pride to be honest with me. You know, I didn't know what his real name was, but we could look it up, but i'm not going to. Did you kiss an angel good morning? um So I'm in San Antonio, and my son tells me, if you're going to be in San Antonio, you have to get some fajitas. I guess they're famous for fajitas. I don't know. Okay. And I'm like, well, I love fajitas. That sounds good to me. Right? And so I was with another person down there, and so she had to put up with me for a day or so. Yeah.she's like, what do you want for dinner? And I'm like, well, I've been told that we're in San Antonio, so we should go get some fajitas. And she's like, all right, whatever. Whatever, I care, right? So we go down the river walk, which is very nice. If you've ever been to the river walk, it's kind of like a weird oasis in the baked Texas landscape. And we just start walking along, and I mean, there's all these places, right? And I'm like, she's like, where are we gonna go i have no idea. I guess let's just walk for a while and we see one. We'll just go. So we found this place and i thought, well, this is, this looks like a good place to have some fajitas right looks nice. Nice place. Well, all these places uh in the river walk, because it's, it's a river, right? It's a concrete river. Let's be honest butBut it's got the weirdest vibe because, you know, as a child of the, you know, 70s and 80s, the only time I really saw this kind of behavior was in sleazy movies from that time period. Oh, okay. Guys would stand on the street and try to get you to go into Times Square strip clubs. Well, they have all these people at all these restaurants. They're not strip clubs. And they're like, hey, come eat here, right? Telling you that you should eat at their establishment. Now, they're not pushing or anything, but they're saying, hey, come eat. I mean, every one of them has got a person standing outside inviting you in. It's called a hype guy. Well, you probably were one at some point. Yeah, I was. I'm assuming. Under over bar. Yeah, I did that. Yeah, okay.So I'm like, well, hey, this guy, he seemed real nice. He's like, yeah, come on up. We got, I got, you want patio? You want inside, outside, you know? And I know some Puerto Rican girls just down to me too. And so we sat on the patio. Was it Mick Jagger? No, it wasn't Mick. I'm getting to that. I'm getting to that. All right. So we get seated on the patio in the shade, which was very nice. And it was very, very nice outside there. And we're sitting there, and then I have this kind of slow realization as I'm looking around at all of the people working at this establishment. Yeah. And I'm like, holy shit, we're being waited on by the cast of Con Air. Oh, yeah.Wow, harsh. Harsh. If you remember Nicolas Cage. Yes. Hey, get your hands off the falsena. party gets their own. And so we have these Joppa chips and salsas like Nick Cage. And then the waitress comes to take our order. Danny Trejo. But it's a woman. So it's this woman that looks like Danny Trejo. With a mustache. Yeah, with a faint mustache. Not quite as thick, right? Yeah. What do you want? Want specials? Anyway, I'm like, okay. She was very pleasant and a very good waitress, but I couldn't get over the fact that she looked like she could have been a cast member. And then, of course, the bus boy. It was all tasty. It wasn't like the I mean, to be honest, it was not the best fajitas I've ever had. And they were fine. And the lady I was with, she got some tacos or something. Anyway, it was all very, you know, good. It wasn't fantastic and everything. And then Bashimi comes to bust the table. You guys done? Money penny or you're done eating your tacos? Done. Yeah. Yeah.Moneypenny isn't done yet. Go away. Yeah, no, it was just like weird because all these characters, you know what I mean? Yeah, right. The characters from the movie, I swear to God, it was just like, I was like, this is weird. Really weird. Was Cheech Marin there at all? No, the only con air. I did not see John Malkovich or Bing Rames, but. Yeah. I was trying to think who was in that movie. Williams was at the other table. So yeah, I spent a long time since I saw that movie. So, well, I can, you know, it was a great movie. Uh, I could quote it chapter reverse. If you want, he was one of the FBI agents, you know, and he was in the, he was, well, you know, he'd come walking through John Cusack. Yeah. Right. So, yeah, no, but it was, it was like, Oh my gosh. I'm like, and a lot, I mean, I, it,this could have been people coming off that plane. I swear they all had, uh, you know, various, uh, signage on their neck and the arms and faces and everything. It was just, uh, right. Yeah. I was just like the best service. Everything was fantastic, but it was just kind of a trip, you know, a little bit of a show there. Mrs. Trejo, I'm going to give you a 10 on the, uh, That's right. On the Google review. I'm like, yeah, let me mash that five-star button for you. Yeah, no, she was very nice, but bad. She was, whew, yeah. It was a little rough on the looks there, you know what I mean? Moneypenny, how are your tacos, Moneypenny? They're great, James. Yeah, so it was all happening down there in San Antonio.So did you slap yourself when you got back? You're like, you lying bastard. No, no, no. I told him, I'm like, hey, they were, you know, all right. Oh, you should have went to the street taco. You know, he's told me everything. And I'm like, you know, what are you going to do? You can't, you know, I'm with somebody else. You kind of have to go with the flow a little bit. I can't, I can't say, hey, we're going to go like four blocks over here where like there's buildings on fire and get some tacos. You know, you just can't do that for people. So. Uh, we were at the, we were in the river walk cause that was really nice area to go. So, yeah, I think, uh, I was, I think Reagan was still in office when I was there. Oh, well, but, uh, you know, everything was certainly, you know, good. It's just, I was hoping for something great. Yeah. And that wasn't, it wasn't, it was good.It could have been worse, I guess, right? Oh, no, it could have been way worse. I've had way worse. But this, you know, it was good. I will say, and I'll give you the compliment here. I had chicken fajitas, which, you know, I kind of oscillate between the chicken and the steak. And your chicken fajita is better. Really? Yeah. I really enjoyed whenever. And it's probably been, what, 20 years ago. It's longer now. It may be. But anyway. Your chicken fajitas were better, I think, because you put a lot of butter on something. I'm guessing. I don't know. It's the sauce. Yeah, unfortunately. Thank goodness. Well, actually, you did cook them. I did watch you cook them, but I was watching with eagle eyes. And they were good. And they were fantastic. Those are my own fries in a bag. Well, better than fries in a bag. That's for certain. Mm-hmm.So, yeah. But, no, a good time was had by all. And, you know, we put the bunny down and we left. There you go. Currently, but yes, we left. No, it was fine. It's interesting. I mean, it's just a, you know, like it's a Disney-esque corridor in the middle of San Antonio. And all the basemen

The Midnight Citizen Mike is a multifaceted individual with diverse skills, including writer, filmmaker, actor, podcaster, and teacher. Join us as we catch up with what the heck Mike is doing now that he ended his long running show, the Midnight Citizen. The Midnight CitizenMikes Bonfire https://youtube.com/live/7rqqxArqXig

Bob endures a teeth cleaning that becomes rather suspect, while Miles gets bad news about his sister, but not that bad. Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/2q5jIg_041Y Bob endures a teeth cleaning that becomes rather suspect, while Miles gets bad news about his sister, but not that bad. Cookie Hygiene Bad AI Transcript [su_qrcode data="https://www.staticradio.com/2026/05/12/cookie-hygiene/" title="Cookie Hygiene" link="https://www.staticradio.com/2026/05/12/cookie-hygiene/" ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————-

Miles gets stunk out at the office, while Bob speaks ill of yogurt. Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/T6BL9iu83Dg Miles gets stunk out at the office, while Bob speaks ill of yogurt. Expired Coupons Bad AI Transcript Won't you take me too? Welcome to Texas. This is Bob. freestyling and profiling Miles Title, Static Radio. styling and profiling. Is that what you said? Yeah. Okay. Because I'm dope. You're dope. That's for sure. Dope. Dopey. Dopey. No, come on, man. Oh, man. You all be tripping, man. My name's Humpty. Like a dumpty. Yeah. It doesn't even faze me. It doesn't even faze me. Please don't tase me. I'm stepping tall, y'all. I love the digital underground. I know. You introduced me to the digital underground. I know. I'm sorry that guy's dead, man. I know. It's horrible. And NWA. And NWA. I don't know them as well, but yes. No, I mean, you introduced me to them as well. I didn't know them before. Public Enemy. Public Enemy. Public Enemy.I called 911 a long time ago. 911 a long time ago. All of that stuff. All that good stuff. Yep. Oh, my goodness. That's fantastic. Yeah, isn't it? God, we're so old. Goodness, you know how old Cool Breeze is now? He's like older than us. Cool Breeze. Cool Breeze. Yep. Or Fred? Yeah. Fred, yeah. Who says… Who says Weekend at Bernie's is a good movie? Do you remember that? He was so angry. There was a gentleman… There was a gentleman at the college radio station who was in the next office over, and I said I enjoyed Weekend at Bernie's, and he apparently did not. He went off? Who? Wow. I've never saw anyone get that angry over Weekend at Bernie's before. Yeah. I was like, wow, you set Fred off. Holy shit. I didn't know that would trigger him, man. I didn't.Of all the movies I could have said, I would never have guessed that one would have possibly led to violence. I really like that weekend. Who? Who the fuck? Who the fuck? I thought that was hilarious. So, Fred, I'm sorry. Yeah, Fred, I never got a chance to say I'm sorry because I'm glad you really didn't hurt me. Yeah, Fred was nice. He was a tall guy. He was a big guy. Yeah, he just wasn't having it, man. Like, weak in it. i just talking about that just reminded me of that situation, so. There was no agree to disagree, man. It was just like oh no it was just disagreeing with you. Yeah, like there's gonna be some problems. You say that again hey hey hey it's just a movie, man.you take your damn damn hands i know that's how i felt like oh fuck this this guy oh my goodness gracious me oh what a fun time yeah one time to be alive you know essentially the i've only been punched in the face once, actually. Really? I was surprised about that. I think it should have been at least a half a dozen or You would think that, listening to me? Yeah. I am a jerk. The kind of things you say to people? Yeah. Do you mean like this to anyone? That did not lead to… He's gone. He dumped on me now. You're going to have to do something there, Miles. You are not on. We can't hear you now. Oh, what a night. Late December. There he is. Now he's back. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened there. I never got hit in the face for saying Cunning Lingus to a nice young lady. No, I didn't say that. Yeah. I didn't say it at all.I have people who have witnessed that told me that you said that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, I am surprised you've never been hit in the face more often. Just once. I did get sucker punched once, yes. Yeah. I mean, as a young man. As an old man, you know, people just don't hit old people, so. Like a violent attack. I've only been violently attacked once my whole life, so. Mm-hmm. Let me think here. I mean, this was not accidental. This was someone actually that enraged. Yeah, no, they like attacked you, right? Yeah. But I was sucker punched, you know. Whatever. Call it what you will. You got punched in the face. I got punched in the face. So what? I see. I've been punched in the face several times. Yeah. I'm sure you're not surprised by that. I, you know, you look like a guy that could handle himself, though, you know.Although I think at least a couple of them were women. No, not for that reason. I'm not sure where this is going. I had an ex-girlfriend who punched me in the face. Laura? No, Laura didn't punch me in the face. Why would she punch you in the face? Every once in a while, I see you smile. No, another girlfriend punched me in the face. Why? I wasn't the most likable person at that moment. Was that the girl that was like holding your stuff when you're having to pee or something? Yeah. Correct. Although it was a very, we had a very stormy stormy relationship. Yes. Really? You seem like such a nice guy. I can't believe that that would happen. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure… I mean, it wasn't a girlfriend. I think another woman punched me in the face. Wow. Okay. I don't remember exactly. Was it Meg? No, I think I was drinking. Oh. That's why I try not to drink too much. Yeah, although… That's not really why, but anyway. Yeah. But yeah, I'm surprised you haven't gotten hit more in the face.Uh, I got punched to the nuts once. Cause I got a friend told a girl to do it. And so she did it. And she's like, I can't hit that small target. No, she was right on. He goes, he goes, why don't you punch miles in the penis? And literally, literally within a nanosecond, she had done it. Oh, wow. She's very, uh, compliant there. He was like very susceptible to, Yeah, very, yeah. Like MKUltra or something. MKUltra girl. Punch him in the nuts. Okay, boom. Yeah, it was kind of like that Star Trek movie where that little thing's in your check-off seat and he has to obey. It was like that. I was like, why don't you just hit him in the nuts? You ever watch that show Dollhouse that was all about sleepers? She's like a sleeper agent.They say a word, and they just start tearing shit up. Wasn't that a Charles Bronson movie, Telephone? That was. I'm talking about Dollhouse. I don't know where you got Telephone in it. Well, no. Isn't that like a thing? Like some secret word triggered these people to kill people? Oh, yeah. It's a similar story. Yeah. Gotcha. It's the same idea, isn't it? Yeah. The same thing. Yeah. Yeah. There's a… There's a word that triggers you. It's called work, and then you don't do any. So, so far, that's been working out for you. Oh, I have done work in the past. You're like Maynard G. Krebs from Dobegill. It's work, work. That's even before my time, for Christ's sake. I got praised once on the job at a factory job.Only to find out my brother told me later, he's like, well, they usually have like the, uh, challenged people do that, what you were doing. And I'm like, oh, thank, well, thank you. I'm, I'm glad to hear that, that I great. Thank you. Yes. So they beat a bunch of challenged people, you know? Well, better that, you know, better beaten them than nobody. I was like the king, you know, like, wow. Huh? I'm the king of wishful thinking. Yeah, pretty much. That was me. I'm like, oh, to heck. I'm trying. Do you have a story? I'm trying to think if I've got a story. I do. I had to decide. Let me have it. I don't know. I said I was going to go with one, but then something happened this morning. I had to change it. Something good happened. All right. Yeah. So I had to. Long story short. Yeah.Get punched in the face by a woman? No, that has never happened as far as I know. Okay. But I had to share a car with my wife this morning. Is this some kind of euphemism or something? No, that was pretty much straight on. We're going to share a car this morning, honey. Okay. Yeah, it's a long story. I had to Anyway, I wish we had a bench seat. He's like, we got to get going. We, I can really not be late. I've got some meetings today. Oh God. That's all she needs to say to you. She does not obviously have the same job as you, but she kind of has to travel from time to time. Like you, not excessively like you, but you know, right. And she had to be at the certain workplace and,you know, before eight o'clock I said, okay, well I go, do you want to drive? Cause you actually drive faster than me. She goes, no, no, no, no, don't. I thought, okay. And, uh, yeah, don't let, if you let her drive, it's like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You ever see the movie to live and die in LA? Yeah. It's like that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Chance. Chance, we're going the wrong way the freeway. Yeah, that's like, yeah, this is my wife driving. I feel very nervous like okay yeah i rode with her. Holy shmoly Yeah, I mean, I don't think my driving, but i know hers is worse than mine so and um right we got it going, and, uh,There's a, I can see that this semi is going to turn in front of us and then like be in front of us down this road that we are traveling on, which I know is going to delay our trip because, you know, we're a little bit of a time thing. You know, she's, she wasn't, you know, being too crazy, but she's like, I really have to be there. I cannot really be late. And, uh, so, uh, i hear her phone ring. She's, you know, attached to her phone like 24 7 right? Right. Oh yeah. I, I, uh, did not know she had her earpiece in. So I hear the phone ringing, excuse me. And then, um, she hadn't picked up yet. So anyway, at this point i've caught, I've caught up to the semi. I go, man, you goddamn cocksucker right in the way. Oh my gosh. It's all in the cocksucker.Next thing you know, Oh, hi, uh, Jennifer. She's shooting me a look because. You said cocksucker when Jennifer was on the pho

Bob channels James Mason and asks Miles for an apology, while Miles entertains Mr. Miagi, trying to put together a lawnmower. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/ExBzspEVrg8 Bob channels James Mason and asks Miles for an apology, while Miles entertains Mr. Miagi, trying to put together a lawnmower. Mowing Last Bad AI Transcript Oh, no, no. here tonight, building in for Bob. How is everyone? Gee, fantastic. Are you there? You disconnected me a twat. He apparently is having some trouble with his technology. Oh, I'm appearing twice again. That is an affront to civilization as we know it. you tonight, Miles? I've already introduced you. Oh, I see. Uh, yeah, no good. I don't really like to come in like this, but that's all right. Well, I'm not sure what you mean. Late, perhaps? Late? My God, you show up like six minutes late this motherfucker is all like you don't know your fucking web dude! My God, damn, man, fuck. you Here in the Queens country, we are never late. Christ almighty. Somebody's got a big chip on their shoulder tonight, don't they? I hope you're not like this on that poor guy that talks about corner gas. Jesus Christ. Fuck. He's never late. He's never late. It's amazing. Oh, come on. Bullshit. Never. He's never late. I was a little late. I had some choring to do. Choring? Is that slang for something? I'm not so…convinced you know, there's uh do you know who dana gould is? No, I think so. Yes. He's a comedian. I think so. Yes. And he does. I don't know how he does this. This is a good question. Maybe you have an idea because you are a shyster and you know how to rip people off. Yep. He does a show called, uh, the famous Dr. Z where he plays Dr. Zaius. He's actually in Planet of the Apes makeup and the suit of Dr. Zaius. And he pretends… Okay. Hello? Yeah, he pretends that he is Dr. Zaius. Can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. Can you hear me? No, it said I've been disconnected. I'm sorry. Continue. Yeah, okay. You're back again? I guess. Okay, continue. So he plays Dr. Zaius and does a talk show as if he's been around since Planet of the Apes movies have been out, and he does impersonation and everything, right? That was my idea. I wonder how he gets away with that. That was my idea. Was it?Yeah. We recorded on the show here? Well, I didn't say that, but i mean, yeah, it was my idea yeah i just i thought it one day. Okay. Yeah. Well, he does it. And so i'm thinking now i should do i should be i should do james mason and i'll dress up like james mason and do a whole show like i'm james Mason. Uh, well, you've got less hair than you did. Well, he wore a wig, so will I. It's all good. Wait, what? No. Yes, he wore a wig. Of course he wore a wig. All those people wore wigs. They did? They still do. No, come on. You name a person, and I'll tell you if they wear a wig or not. Bert Convy. Of course you wore a fucking wig. Bert Convy? That's the most stupidest thing.John Wayne, for Christ's sake. Rip Taylor. A wig. Yes, a wig. Okay. All right. I don't know. John Connery. Wig. Wig. Rug. Yeah. Yeah. He wore a wig. He wore a wig. Whatever. Oh, jeez. I think that would be… So, I mean, if Dana Gould can get away with Dr. Z, I'm sure I could get away with… Who's paying attention to David… Or not David Niven. Who's paying attention to James Mason at this point? David Niven. Same difference. I was going to do David Niven, but I thought it was too highbrow. Yeah, David Niven's not… I don't know that I could do his voice, but James Mason, of course I can. Yeah, his is more stylized. That's right. He talks like this, and he's… It's so good to be alive. Yes. So tell me, Miles, who do you blame for your lateness?Is it an Apple thing? You blame your mother. Is it your mother's fault? Or possibly a young lady? Lolita! I can have a co-host. Lolita could be my co-host. Lolita! There you go. I can tell you're not even enjoying this idea in the least. No, it's really gone on like 10 minutes longer, and I really wanted it to, to be honest. That's because I started it before we started recording. I know, and it's kind of a swing and a miss at this point. I'm like, okay. Hey, by the way, I've been instructed. I have notes here. I've been instructed to tell you, and my wife was not very enamored with your choice to let her die. in your because she's she's injured currently and she couldn't get away from the zombies and or sharks. I just had a movie idea we built upon it and uh she's not happy that that was, you know. You kind of took it to a dark place and uh i just said, okay, well, okay. What? How did i take it to a dark mine was uplifting where everyone lives when you change it around likeMaybe you could kill off my wife. I'm like, well, I guess. Yeah, I think that you can play the game. That wasn't me. Thanks a lot. I watched that shitty shark movie that you were bitching about. Thanks a lot, jackass. I told you not to watch it. Because then my wife's like, oh, let's watch it. Bob watched it, so it must be highbrow class. Yeah. Oh, my God. What a horrible fucking movie. I told you. It's horrible. I told you. Why would that Academy Award winning guy be in a thrash or whatever it's called? Cash. Yeah. You know you'd fucking do it in a heartbeat. You'd be like, yeah. A million? Two million? Sure. I'll do it. Yeah. Sure. I'll show you my ass. Yeah. Why not? A million. I can live with myself. Yeah. What do you mean? You live with yourself now. Yeah, right. I'd do a Dirk Diggler if his money paid right. Yeah. I was going to say.It'd be kind of… A little dangle. A little… Yeah, thanks a lot. Watch it. Maybe a little… Yeah. More like Billy Birdie, you know? Yeah. So, yeah. So, anyway, she told me to make mention of that. Sorry, Mrs. Lumet. Sorry. They all can't be winners. Mason in person. I was going to try to do that the whole time, but I don't think I can, so… Please, yeah, at this point, stop. Oh, Miles. I really, everyone is tuned out at this point, believe me. They tuned out before they started. Even CB is like putting a rope around his neck right now. He's like, I can't, I can't. Listen to this for five more minutes. I'm a diehard, I can't do this. Yeah, I mean, the guy's listened since like 1972 when we started this. I can't, I can't. My life is over.He'd be doing like auto erotic, erotic. Yeah. Goodness gracious. Yeah. So yeah. Anyway, I was just, Oh, got me. Oh, Crazy world, man. Crazy world. So the other morning I was driving early in the morning. And I think, what are the odds of this? I drive in early in the morning and there's this truck in the ditch. But it's not in the ditch like, you know, just nose first in the ditch. It's like driven apparently at a high rate of speed to where the wheels are hanging in the ditch, all four wheels. Because it's like somehow they've driven… in this ditch that was like different widths, I guess you'd say, or like narrower and it got wider where it was being held up on the sides of the fenders and stuff. And the wheels were just hanging down the ditch. Oh, it wasn't me either. It wasn't me. The hitcher. I don't know. I was just like, I, it was at a corner. So I assume they were drunk and lost control and then just drove right into this ditch and kind of got,Did you go to Decatur High School like I did, buddy? He goes, pardon, pardon. Oh, there we go. Oh, Christ. Why? Why, God? My pickup truck is stuck in the ditch. Oh, my God. Why, God? Why? Anyway, I just thought that was probably the most interesting thing I saw all week was like, wow, that's weird. And then that night, I'm grilling my dinner. And this guy walks up and says he needs a tow. No, and there's that truck. truck is on the back of a flatbed, and they pull into my, you know uh gated community turn around, apparently. And it's the same truck. They come pick it up, and it's like on a on a they pulled it up onto a flatbed. Holy shit, I'm in the movie Duel. Holy shit. I was like, what the heck i'm like, what the hell? What are they doing down here? I don't know. That's the most, that's,I'm sorry. That's the most interesting thing that happened to me this week. You don't want to hear about this. That or the fact that I've talked about going swimming. I go swimming. Now, every time I go swimming, all the old ladies ask how my wife is doing. Well, she's in a coma and she may not pull out. No, they know she hurt her foot. Did you murder her? No. And so this week I had to go and I go, yeah, her foot's still hurt. And my friend made up a movie where zombies come and kill her because she can't get away. I just thought it'd be funny. She's got one of those little knee scooter things. I just thought it'd be funny. The scooter is not good for rough terrain and she just gets bogged down. You've got to go downstairs with it. Yeah.Much like RFK, I left her in the dust. See ya! See ya! Cheryl! Cheryl! Can you believe it? No, I do. Every second time or something, they're all like, how's your wife doing? I'm like, she's fine. She's fine. She's fine. yeah oh yeah it's all yeah i'm just like i don't think that the i don't think that, you know, that situation were reversed. Yeah. That this would be happening oh uh were you married? Yeah. No, there would be nothing to be like, thank god you got rid of that lump. Where's that ugly woman with the glasses that comes with you all the time? That swims topless all the time. That swims topless, that's right. No, it's my husband, Sparky. With the areola sticking out. Yeah, I don't think that… Is that a friend of Peter Ustinov that comes here every once in a while? Yeah.I don't think that these two things would be the same. I think there'd be a lot of, you know, oh, really? Oh, I never knew. Really? Here? They came here? To this place? I don't think so. There's a card. I remember. H