Strange Textures

Some news that I think warrants a bonus episode! I’ve improved the website so you can now get news through email or RSS instead of having to listen to me I have a track on the just released Four Seasons of Bonk Wave Autumn Waves 1 album That track is also on my Broadcast EP and some of that is on the physical media release Connector: Overtime Edition Inspiration for getting the website and words more sorted: this occasional society - for their excellent newsletter ATTKS TH DRKNSS - for their blog and talking about meanings in instrumental music Was Emulsion of Mabon a knock-off of the Wicker Man? A lot of people saw similarities in some of themes at least. A kind of folk-horror that was probably creepier, darker, and sexier but ultimately weirder and more abstract. Does anyone actually know what is going on most of the time in this film? The woods are majestic, the fires are numerous, and ultimately where you can read Edward Woodward’s death in the Wicker Man as generally horrible or a positive precursor to rebirth and future wellbeing, this ends as a true uplifting celebration. The darkness as a welcoming partner rather than something to be cautioned about.

East Berlin 1961 This is just a blank postcard. The picture is Westminster Abbey. I don’t think I’ll be getting anymore of these, it feels like it’s time to go. Take care folks.

Some behind the scenes notes, getting ready to wrap up Season 6, thoughts about social media, and some recommendations. Last episode comes out on Tuesday, and then there will be a break before anything new arrives. The website I mention for Ben Barlett (Vera composer amongst other things): https://www.benbartlett.com/

Prague 1933 and 1973 If there were a way to abandon words completely, I would be tempted. Perhaps I’ve had a life already, or one still to come, as a mute monk. But it is not possible for me at the moment. Instead maybe I could abandon serious words for the majority of time and interactions? After all, if I must mask, why not fit the mask better to my needs and moods? A closer representation of what lies behind.

Toronto 1906 I met an interesting chap today. All uncomfortable urgency in movement. Ideas burst from him as a force. Like a conduit, desperate musician. They called all critics the enemy of human expression and claimed to work for a system that builds laws to ensure that those who fit what society wants are rewarded, while those who do not are left to suffer. I like it. There’s some nihilism there but with an optimistic energy undercutting it.

Paris 1923 Trust me. People come and go. Go mostly. Slip away and go their own separate way. You need to make the most of them while they’re here. Love costs. It takes effort and work. Some wise words I’ve collected from a couple of places. Maybe borrowing words from other people could work when I’m struggling for my own?

Freedonia 1933 It sounds very serious, all this, doesn’t it? There is room in it all for the silly, the fun, the joy. Maybe that should be the focus of my words from now on? The quietness stems from the tangle of serious words attempting to describe and communicate things that are ephemeral and shifting. Music handles that much better. Maybe words can do more or similar through humour?

Venice 1947 You might also say that my mask and I are equally real. Real and unreal, yin and yang, the mysterious way and the M25. Tribes, belonging, separation. Time and space, concrete and snow. All different things. Built differently out of different stuff. Yet perceived by me as just things, just Strange Textures of ourselves. Infinite variety of perception being aware of itself.

Kembleford 1953 I’ve heard that some people feel more free to be themselves while wearing a mask. I don’t because my mask is a form of controlled behaviour. Removing the mask is what would give me the freedom. Experiencing that freedom potentially opens me up to ridicule, pain, other people’s judgement. This doesn’t worry me. The potential for not being fully present afterwards, being seduced by the freedom and behaving in a way I don’t like, that does worry me. Swapping my mask for another’s…

Turks and Caicos 2014 I have often used my self to control others. Who I present as, how I hide parts and play parts and reflect others, reflect their objectives, ambitions, and fears. The masks I’ve worn help to blend in, wider it creates tribes, separates us from others while creating a belonging, an influential presence. Maybe being in control of your appearance is the norm. I find it difficult. I’d rather be mask-less and control the impulses I have so I can proceed with response, considered with Love.

Isle of Man 1999 Does control feel like safety to you? It’s been making me feel less and less safe over the years. The discharge of responsibility without the exercise of control can be perilous in more than one direction. But to actually control feels more risky. Perhaps in extreme circumstances it is warranted – I don’t believe in absolutes so have to accept that there could be a place for it. But it worries me.

New York State 1830 Sometimes I think the argument goes like this: “if I can’t quickly decide what category to put you in, how can I behave in an appropriate manner rapidly? That would mean I’m at risk in case you are due deference, or I might miss out on a chance of food or sex. Therefore you making it hard for me to judge is a threat for which you must pay.” I think I’d prefer to not judge and to not decide anything on these lines but interact on an ongoing basis as a thinking, feeling, individual.

It’s the middle of the season, so I thought a little additional notes was called for. Probably the penultimate one in fact, I peek a bit behind the scenes but not too much (unless anyone asks me, why talk about it?). Also I recommend a few things: Gravitons Festival Transverse Tempo The Indie Beat The Neighborhood Listen The Last Frontier

Daylight Station 2047 Of course, following a path that is mysterious, magical, invisible, and possibly imaginary isn’t the easiest thing to do. Words aren’t very helpful either. So I think the best I can do is play some music and offer some pointers. Perhaps pointers about music, art, comedy, thinking, belief are the only useful and free things to provide. After all, the important part is that you make the decisions yourself.

Oxford 1967 There is no magic in this world, only Love. But I mean, how much more magic would you like? Beyond words, what is there really? In fact, including words, what is there really? Science keeps finding more things reality is made of. When I say Love, maybe I mean mystery. Maybe I mean magic. Maybe there is no name for it, just a movement, a pattern, a path. Maybe just follow the path?

Mengcheng 221 Is closeness a thing? Being close to a lake is very different to being close to a tsunami. If closeness is to mean something, shouldn’t we account for the difference in potential outcome and current impact in some way? The words don’t always carry the story. From a different perspective, words are very unimportant and misleading. I need to go beyond them. Let’s rewatch Parks and Rec from the start.

Wyoming 1994 Not having a tribe has its advantages too. No peer pressure (because no peers). Freedom to identify and associate. No (or fewer) social rules. And having no tribe doesn’t mean no friends, no belonging. It means fewer shortcuts, individuals interacting and getting along together. Who can beat a quiet moment sat in the Sun? Silent. A close partner and favourite pet enjoying a moment of being at one. Calm.

Los Angeles 1940 It’s easy to get lost. Actually, historically, or metaphorically. Nietzsche says “Be Hard” (rude), “and what is done for Love is beyond Good or Evil”. That can help me get lost. They say “find your tribe”. In some ways that’s the thing that can keep you found – your tribe. I lost my first tribe, never really fitted in anywhere. Maybe somewhere there is an imaginary tribe of those of us that don’t belong? We could never meet. Never act like a tribe because that’s the thing that excludes us. But we’re here. I know we’re out there, a hidden tribe of isolated people.

Varna 1897 Just because Love must always be attempted doesn’t mean there are no things that must be fought. It is possible for evil to exist, but it is rare. Much less rare is for people to commit actions perceived as evil. Even less rare are actions that are hurtful, or thoughtless, or uncaring. I stand against these with Love. That’s not to say my methods are limited, but always in tune with the way. I try to act with and in Love.

Metropolitan Area 1995 Love. Beyond sweeping statements. Beyond talking. There is Love. Expressing it is really the only thing there is. So many ways it can be done, and so many ways it can be withheld. It can be painful to withhold, it fundamentally hurts us. And yet this can be said to hurt less than being open to love, amplifying and transmitting it. Understandable then that we are sometimes cut off. We try even if we don’t always succeed. We all fail and it’s good because we’re human.

Vienna 1889 After I set my stall out as being non-judgemental, welcoming of mistake and failure with its essential humanity, unwilling to codify behaviour and trying to treat people and moments as individual instances deserving of care, compassion, and consideration it suddenly becomes really difficult to make big sweeping statements. So I become quieter. It is Springtime here and the mountains are lovely.

Additional Notes for October 2025. Might be the only additional notes episode this season, I ramble on a bit about why, what next, and make some media recommendations.

I got another postcard: Space, Worp 0.5 I prefer to not codify right and wrong. It seems like a difficult job to me although I can see the benefit in terms of making it easy to separate things, cut down on thinking, and boost your own ego. It’s less easy, and I don’t always manage it but I try to only decide if I really have to, not judging seems better to me. So I try to apply Care, Compassion, and Consideration individually as appropriate. And Airplane II is on.

Season 6 starts now, just about in time for the autumn equinox. New England 1954. If you don’t fit in. If you are always wrong. If you make mistakes. Welcome. We make mistakes. We fail. Because we try. We care. We aim to do good things, for ourselves, and for others. We have standards we sometimes fall short of. But we celebrate the mistakes, the fails, because they are what makes us human. It is raining.

Ssssshhhhhh! Don’t tell anyone but here is the only place to get the Secret Solstice episode! It’s also where I tell you that I did the thing and have some albums to release. As loyal listeners, you get to know first. There will be a proper release plan and stuff going on at some point (probably), but for now, just for you, there are three new albums if you want to have a look. I’ve described the series as “Play” and they consist of An Observed Earth Heartland Captives Everyone Elsewhere And you can get them - pay what/if you want from the website here. Have a good solstice!

The last additional notes for season 5. Ebows, evolution, and excitement. Looking forward to Uncanny summer specials and catching up on Poker Face season 2.

This might be an odd way to do a 100th episode and final in the season, but I’m staying true to the intent - it’s been a mixed day and this is ambiguous, not simply happy or sad but a mixture of happy and frustrated and comforted and many other things all at the same time.

Additional Notes for 29/05/2025. Other than talking a bit about space, playing less, and thinking about highlight albums, here are the links that I mention: Bonkcast EP (my Bonk Wave/No Bonk Wave tracks) Melondruie - Variations on Into the depthsan excellent album to get and listen to This Occasional Society Newsletter Signup - worth getting this each month and the archive of past newsletter is linked so you can see

I mean it how it is, how it sounds. Sculptures made out of fractured breath. Whose breath? Ssshhh, that’s a secret.

Shorter this week (I hear sighs of relief)! Quick tech update on using a mixer more, musings about having a break and possibly having an idea for Season 6. Completely forgot to say I’m also working out whether to do the highlight albums thing that I normally do. Ideas welcome!

What’s that in the distance? Not black helicopters coming over the border, no. Blackcurrant helicopters, rotors beating a pattern into your brain that just won’t go away.

Long ramble this week about overusing a preset, loving my guitar, and working out how to be active in the world without creating the wrong influence. Possibly by turning a WWII airplane into the new Mystery Machine. Rokay! I get my guitars here: Munson Guitars

A space, holy, candle lit, fragrant. Also made of rather runny lime jelly.

Is there a difference between underwater and under waves? Either way, I get the date wrong, so don’t write in to tell me. I already know. Probably got the background music wrong too!

This week I’m exploring underwater.

It’s my sister’s birthday today - Happy Birthday Sam!

On the influence of forests, how appropriate the word ‘fuzz’ is and some thoughts on teh textures involved in melody and harmony.

This week I start very small and very quiet, like a little creature in the forest visiting different campfires with different flavours.

Just a quick ramble about trying to play less and using different basic playing techniques to get ‘round’ sounds. Also a plug for the new Bonk Wave Remix Album (available here) and other places too - the announcements will be on the main Bonkwave.org page.

I mean, the title says most of the words for this. The rest is the sound uo can hear…

What was I thinking with the last episode - find out here! Also a quote from Death Comes to St Ives by Jo Silva and Johnny Greenwood from Radiohead. About being human and celebrating imperfection!

Another week, less words… Sshhhh….

IA quick run through what happened with the last episode and an update of what I’m reading and listening to: Natalie Haynes - Divine Might Natalie Haynes Stands Up for the Classics - BBC Show

And we’re back with no gap! I have no idea what this sounds like, I have no time to listen or check, just a note that says 20 years in an alien foresst, so I guess that’s the title. Does it work? Does it fit? No idea. Maybe I’m getting closer to becoming a certified failure…

A quick reflection on getting to episode 90 and a commitment to the next few episodes - which might be after a bit of a break or not, I won’t know until the end of Monday probably!

…do your job, then let go. I’m feeling quite Taoist today. This episode has that sort of turning tension, starting Yang (with a bit of Yin) because of movement and drums and noise, becoming Yin (with a bit of yang) as we change state. We are leaving, but then arrive, realising we always were here anyway.

Post episode chat, a bit about the band, techniques used and aims of what I was doing in the last episode followed by some things I’m currently enjoying during recovery… Transverse Tempo show on Audio Interface hosted by C.Circo Free Play: Improvisation in Life and Art by Stephen Nachmanovitch Unruly by David Mitchell The Righteous Gemstones The Conversation Bonkwave Clement Bertine - Inward Munson Guitars

I’ve just realised that it says “be clear and concise. Show notes help potential listeners in finding the episode” at the top of the box where I’m typing this. So I’ve been doing it wrong all along! How marvellous, I do enjoy being wrong, making mistakes and so on. Bring on the happy accidents!

Weekly behind the scenes chat. My thoughts on Chase Bliss Onward (it’s good but doesn’t suit me I think), other pedals I like and should I learn to build my own? Mirlo can now be used as a self-hosted instance - how do I encourage that? Set up my own label? And finally, I might have an enforced break coming up so I recorded a couple of spare episodes in advance.

I’m experimenting this week. It is a bit odd, and different to normal I think. What do you think?