Swimming in Gendered Waters

Facing our shortcomings is never easy, nor is acknowledging our ignorances… But it’s only by becoming aware of our own fallibility that we can create the space to hear out others’ feelings and experiences. Today we’re talking about our language, how society conditions our ignorance, and how to avoid letting our egos get in the way of listening. Sources:“Sexism and the English language: the linguistic implications of being a woman” Karen L. Adams and Norma C. Ware; “Ouvrir les yeux sur l’ignorance blanche” Vivons heureux avant la fin du monde (Podcast); “Vivre, libre” Amandine Gay; 

Another episode on beauty and appearance, but this time we’re looking at how we learn to wear femininity on our bodies, and the high cost of these heavy norms. My hopes? That the stiff corsets we wear will one day help us realize just how TIGHTLY patriarchy has woven together femininity and appearance.Sources: “Beauté Fatale” Mona Chollet; “Beauty is the beast: psychological effects of the pursuit of the perfect female body” Elayne Saltzberg and Joan Chrisler [from Women: a feminist perspective, Jo Freeman]; “No validation masculine” Emma Barrabi; “Seins: En quête d’une libération “ (breasts and bras) Camille Froidevaux-Metterie; “The body and the representation of femininity” Susan Bordo [from Writing on the body: female embodiment and feminist theory]; “Le mystère Cléopatre” Exhibition at Institut du Monde Arabe, Paris.

Ever wondered why you feel imprisoned in the beauty standards that surround you? Why we never reach the ideals society imposes on us? Well, really, it’s because they want us to feel this way, it’s all part of a sexist scheme that will get us to spend all our time on our appearances rather than actually existing. It’s another day !! It’s another episode!!“No validation masculine” Emma Barrabi; "La chair est triste, hélas" Ovidie;“Le mythe de masculinité” Olivia Gazalé; “Beauté Fatale” Mona Chollet ; “Dataclysm” Christian Rudder (attraction and age) ;“Age Limits: Men’s and Women’s Youngest and Oldest Considered and Actual Sex Partners” Jan Antfolk (study available on NIH-National Library of Medicine)Recommendation: Raye - This Music May Contain Hope.

Today we’re dedicating our 20 minutes together to talking about periods, menstrual cycles, cycle syncing, menstrual disorders, birth control and misconceptions about the female reproductive system. This is the talk that schools don’t create the space for, and it’s by normalizing these topics (that impact half the population may I add) that we fight ignorance!!Sources: “Le mythe de masculinité” Olivia Gazalé; “No validation masculine” Emma Barrabi; “Abolishing chhaupadi, breaking the stigma of menstruation in rural Nepal” UNwomen.org (2017).

How to be a good man in a sea of trash… Today we’re talking about this phrase that seems to be everywhere: “men are trash”. We’re looking at why it’s worth putting egos aside for, and instead asking, how have i benefitted from this system? Which voices do I choose to listen to? big up to the podcast les couilles sur la table for this ep.Sources“Le mythe de masculinité” Olivia Gazalé; “Guide pour répondre au #NotAllMen” Les couilles sur la table (Podcast); “Comment érotiser l'égalité sexuelle” Arte documentary. 

It was time for a Yasmin episode, one that wasn’t so destructive emotionally. So today is a positive reflection on how I’ve worked towards decentering romance in my life, and re-centering the things that matter to me, especially friendships. Good things take time, and restructuring our ambitions and aspirations is heavy work. But they lay the foundation for our everyday existence so I’d say pretty worth it…Literature:“Communion” Bell Hooks; “The Erotic as Power” Audre Lorde; "Pas mes fils- Injustice" Julie Gavras (a Louie Media podcast).

We live in a hard time and our societies are completely degenerating, so today we’re asking hard questions. While everyone is oversaturated by the insanity of the Epstein file release, one question seems to keep coming up, does our society just straight up hate its women? The constant violence perpetrated against women (predominantly by men) seems to speak for itself… But how did we get here? Together we’re deconstructing toxic masculinity, and dissecting why societies don't want (nor need) men to be themselves. "King Kong théorie" Virginie Desplentes; "Nos pères, nos frères, nos amis" Mathieu Palain;  “Le mythe de la masculinité” Olivia Gazalé; "Pas mes fils, Injustice" Julie Gavras (a Louie Media podcast); “Viril” Arte documentary, Camille Juza; “Un monde de femmes, Dessous des cartes” Arte documentary, Julie Gavras; https://www.ncdv.org.uk/the-not-so-beautiful-game/. 

Between 0-6% of sexual assaults get condemned in France… Yup, we live in a society that defends rapists. This isn’t an easy episode, so take it however you can, and if this isn’t the moment for you then this episode will still be here when it is the moment! Kisses, take care of yourselves!!“Désirer la violence” Chloé Thibaud; "King Kong théorie" Virginie Desplentes;"La chair est triste, hélas" Ovidie;"Rape, Racism and the Capitalist Setting" Angela Y. Davis;Aurore Malet Karas;"Que faire de nos fantasmes de violence" Charlotte Bienaimé (Arte podcast); "Pas mes fils- Injustice" Julie Gavras (Louie Media podcast);⁠https://www.haut-conseil-egalite.gouv.fr/rapport-pornocriminalite-mettons-fin-limpunite-de-lindustrie-pornographique⁠⁠https://www.haut-conseil-egalite.gouv.fr/sites/hce/files/files-spip/pdf/hce_-_barometre_sexisme_viavoice.pdf⁠https://www.prismamedia.com/app/uploads/2023/03/PRESSE-Sondage-La-Pause-Simone-x-En-Avant-Toutes.pdf

Another SIGW episode!!!! Let’s gooo!!!! About the male gaze? So thrilling… Today is all about how popular media has structured our perspectives on gender. That is, imbalanced visual representations recurringly sexualise women, inscribing their sole value on their male counterparts. And in turn, we don’t get taught to harvest visual pleasure from non-feminine presences? Sad…Literature:“Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema” Laura Mulvey (1975); “Désirer la violence” Chloé Thibaud; “No validation masculine” Emma Barrabi; “Swedish cinemas take aim at gender bias with Bechdel test rating” The Guardian;  “Male gaze, ce que voient les hommes”, “Female gaze, ce que vivent les femmes” Les couilles sur la table (Podcast).

Rage, raging, rager… Ever heard delicious sexist comments like, “are you on your period or something?!” when you try to express your opinion?? Disgusting…  Today we’re talking about the gendered aspect of rage, loudness, and self expression, as well as their division across hierarchies."La colère pour s’affirmer?" - Arte (documentary)"The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action"; "Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power"; "The Uses of Anger: Women Responding to Racism" - Audre Lorde

I’ve spent my entire life despising gory media, hiding in my room during family movie nights or covering my eyes at horror movie group hangouts. Until! Until I witnessed minorities inflicting injuries in movies. Here’s another journey of Yasmin realising she feels weakened as a woman because our societies spend their time and money trying to persuade us of an illusory inferiority.  Literature: “Demarginalizing the Intersection of Race and Sex” Kimberley Crenshaw (intersectionality); “Black Skin, White Masks” Frantz Fanon (p192); “Désirer la violence” Chloé Thibaud (p174, 190); Movies: “Django Unchained” and “Kill Bill” Quentin Tarantino; “The Woman King” Gina Prince-Bythewood; “Bottoms” Emma Seligman and Rachel Sennott; “Fleabag” Phoebe Waller-Bridge (s2e3); “Taken” Pierre Morel.  Side-note: I use "person of color" in this ep and not my specific origins in aims of acknowledging a shared experience of discrimination across minority groups (even though I think I end up shortening to colored? Which is definitely not an exampe to follow, sorry about that)

Let me set the scene; you’ve been in your bed for a few hours, staring at the wall, letting your thoughts float and bounce across the room, and you’re thinking, “how the **** am I not asleep yet?”. oh have I been there... But maybe what you didn’t know (and what I hadn’t realized until recently), is that insomnia and sleeplessness are heavily gendered! And no one seems to talk about it?Join me on this journey of reclaiming and honoring sleeplessness, and normalizing this obscured lifestyle. (but also, don’t let your insomnia govern your life. It’s worth seeing a professional to better understand your sleep hygiene, and even more so if you can no longer live your daily life due to insomnia)The book that inspired this episode: “Sleepless: Discovering the Power of the Night Self” by Annabel Abbs.I also talk about a few different artists, including Louise Bourgeois (the spider sculpture “Maman” I talk about is definitely not in Belgium it’s at the Tate in London right now).

Being friends across genders in a heteronormative society… a constant battle. And it’s almost predictable right? It doesn’t serve the patriarchy for men and women to be friends; the West needs them to produce the workers and consumers of the next generations.This episode is a full-blown Yasmin rant. In a world that has long indoctrinated us in ‘searching for our soulmate’ in every bond, and where the norm of toxic masculinity prevails, my dream is to normalize and celebrate our friendships across gendered boundaries.Book references: "Communion: The Female Search for Love", bell hooks (2002)"Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power", Audre Lorde (1978)

Ever feel like all the music you hear is male voices? I’ve gone (too) many years listening to primarily hetero male artists, and am often disappointed to find that my wrapped at the end of the year is 90% men. But non-hetero/cis-male artists just don't get the same representation. So, I decided to do a week of purification. Join me on my journey of exploring non-mysoginous music and the effects of feeling respected for a week.Some women artists I dove into during my week:R&b: Summer Walker, Yebba, Jasmine Sullivan, Ravyn Lenae, Corinne Bailey Rae, Jorja Smith, SZA, Kali Uchis, RihannaRap (fr): Theodora, Surprise, Creamy G, Lala &ce, Akissi, Davinhor, Kay the prodigy, Asinine, MikiRap: Rico Nasty, Doechii, Little Simz, SZA, Ms. Lauryn HillExtras: The Marías, Nao, Charli XCX, Shygirl, M. I. A, Nia Archives, Brazy