Taming Thumos: Real Men, Real Conversations

Hello and welcome to another episode of Taming Thumos!My guest for this episode is Rich Burrows. Rich is a high performance coach, former intelligence officer and father. Rich has trained a range of people from world champion ultra endurance athletes to corporate CEOs and tech entrepreneurs. This conversation centres around stress and ways that we can often find ourselves like a frog in boiling water; incrementally becoming burned out by modern western living and the various micro-stressors we face on a daily basis. And most importantly, ways that we can manage and develop tolerance for stress rather than avoiding it.Scroll down if you’d like to watch the conversation or if you’re listening on Spotify please visit the Substack page here.Expect to hear how Rich uses tools such as breathwork, cold water exposure as well as pool training to help his clients transcend the limits of their own resistance and fear. He emphasises the importance of building range rather than just calm to handle life’s stressors. Focussing on controlling the controllables, nervous system regulation and movement and environment. As well as training for acute stress vs. living in chronic stress.We also dive into finding balance between logic and emotional regulation. Rich shares how marriage and parenting have been great teachers for him to learn how to see the emotional experience alongside the rational.Finally, we touch on the pillar of health often missed, the spiritual one. For Rich, spiritual health is tied to purpose; what one wants to leave behind for their family and community. Value Alignment; stepping back for a “thousand-yard view” to ensure daily behaviors align with core values. And transcendence; moving from self-improvement to responsibility for others, such as the gift of shaping a child’s life.Learn more about Rich’s work with The Resistance Lab here, focusing on meeting the resistance of cold exposure and expanding one’s window of tolerance. He is planning on hosting another Range Workshop on the Sunshine Coast following the success of the last workshop in Melbourne, collaborating with former AFL player Troy Simmonds to explore how movement informs performance and well-being. Stay tuned by following him on Instagram!"We're not about building calm, we're about building range. You want to actually widen the scope of what's available to you to feel, to experience, to activate without it causing you to completely flip your lid or shut down."I hope you enjoyed that conversation with Rich. As always, please leave your thoughts on the episode in the comments section on Substack. Pssst… this is where you can watch the video version of this episode!Support the causeIf you’re enjoying the podcast, and would like to support men’s mental health, consider leaving a 5 star review on Spotify and sharing the episode on your social media!Stay up-to-dateNever miss an episode by subscribing to Taming Thumos on Substack, it’s free! Every new episode and article is sent directly to your email inbox. Or if you’re listening on Spotify hit the notification bell to stay up to date with future episodes! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tamingthumos.substack.com

My guest for this episode is JP. He and I go way back! We served in Afghanistan together in 2008, as young Royal Marines Commandos. JP went on to work in Maritime security during the piracy surge in the late 2000s around West Africa (you may recall the film Captain Philips with Tom Hanks…). He then went on to test himself in the private security world, working with prestigious families in Hong Kong and eventually becoming the physical security manager for a leading tech company. Scroll down if you’d like to watch the conversation or if you’re listening on Spotify please visit the Substack page here.Key points from the episode* We talk about the essential roles many men occupy that keep society operational, but don’t get the credit like some of the more front facing roles.* The conversation also touches on how having a tangible purpose, whether in the military or a high-responsibility civilian role, positively impacts men’s mental health and sense of identity.* We discuss how the “flat structure” and culture of the Royal Marines, where Marines acknowledged Sergeants on first name terms and visa versa, built a foundation of trust and competence. JP explains how he uses those same principles today to empower his teams and identify individual strengths. * We reflect on our time in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. Where you go from patrolling through poppy fields one minute, to realizing you’re caught in an ambush. * The level playing field of war and how it has it’s way of showing you who you really are.* We also remember the real heroes, specifically discussing the incredible courage of fellow Marine Cousie Jones, who earned the Military Cross for his actions under fire.Listen out for “Bootneck” Slang:As two former Marines, the conversation is peppered with jargon! You might hear terms like:* Dit: A story (a “genuine dit” is a true one).* Green Lid: The iconic Commando green beret.* Threaders: Extremely annoyed or fed up.* Scran: Food.Houston, we have a problem…Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties some of the conversation was cut short. However, I still wanted to share what we did record of the conversation because I think it will give some insight into the realities of war, which many people think only existed 100 years ago.I hope you enjoyed that episode with JP, I know I did! Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. Support the causeIf you’re enjoying the podcast, and would like to support men’s mental health, consider leaving a 5 star review on Spotify and sharing the episode on your social media!Stay up-to-dateNever miss an episode by subscribing to Taming Thumos on Substack, it’s free! Every new episode and article is sent directly to your email inbox. Or if you’re listening on Spotify hit the notification bell to stay up to date with future episodes! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tamingthumos.substack.com

My guest for this episode is Alain Sauvage. I first met Alain through a men’s group I co-facilitated here on the Sunshine Coast. He is a former school teacher and principal, and today, he serves as a grandfather and mentor. At 70, he is an avid surfer and active member of the community.Scroll down if you’d like to watch the conversation or if you’re listening on Spotify please visit the Substack page here.Key points from the episodeAlain recounts his early childhood in Kenya, living in a house of local materials where lions and hippos were part of the neighborhood. Despite the idyllic memories of an African nanny and camping under the stars, his family’s move to Perth in the 1960s sparked a lifelong struggle with belonging. As a "third culture" immigrant with French parents who didn't quite fit the Anglo-Saxon mold nor the Italian "wog" groups at school, Alain often felt like an outsider.The conversation dives deep into Alain’s evolving understanding of masculinity and faith. He describes a spiritual journey that moved from traditional Catholic belief to a mystical, “Desert Father” style of prayer centered on the silence between thoughts. For Alain, spirituality is not a Sunday activity but a “unitive experience” that connects him to the earth, with all beings and the Aboriginal spirit.A central theme of the episode is Alain’s experience with rheumatoid arthritis. He offers a powerful metaphor for dealing with debilitating pain: instead of fighting it, he invites the “devil” in for tea. Alain argues that the language of “fighting” illness is unhelpful because it targets a part of oneself.“I started then to make peace with my body and to say… have a cup of tea with my pain and say, 'oh, you’re going to hang around today, aren't you? All right, how are we going to dance? Let's dance together.”Now serving as a grandfather and mentor, Alain reflects on the transition from the “cocky 30-year-old” who thought he knew everything to a community elder who realizes he knows less now than ever. He shares the gentle advice he gives his grandchildren: persist, believe in your own beauty, and don’t let the hooks of social media get under your skin.Alain’s story is a reminder that while we cannot control the upheaval of life or the limitations of our bodies, we can choose how we dance with them.I hope you enjoyed that episode with Alain! Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.Support the causeIf you’re enjoying the podcast, and would like to support men’s mental health, consider leaving a 5 star review on Spotify and sharing the episode on your social media!Stay up-to-dateNever miss an episode by subscribing to Taming Thumos on Substack, it’s free! Every new episode and article is sent directly to your email inbox. Or if you’re listening on Spotify hit the notification bell to stay up to date with future episodes!Join the crewBe part of the community, remember “no man is an island”! Share your thoughts by participating in the comments section! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tamingthumos.substack.com

In this episode, I talk to Pat Barber, who I know from my work with CrossFit. He is a father of 4, CrossFit Seminar lead instructor and founder of the Father’s guild, a practical training initiative for fathers who want to be more present and impactful at home. We discuss how Pat’s coaching has gone from the gym floor to the personal development space. We also talk about the importance of emotional regulation, the journey of self-discovery, the balance between reflection and action, and unconditional loveScroll down if you’d like to watch the conversation or if you’re listening on Spotify please visit the Substack page here.Key points from the episode* Emotional regulation and the transformative power of manual journaling for slowing down to accurately form thoughts and assess your emotional state.* Navigating the disconnect between a “logical” mind and a “visceral” body response during a personal mental breakdown centered around attachment.* Our experience with “Parts” therapy, where Pat shares how he discovered a version of himself that felt profoundly lonely despite a seemingly happy exterior.* Spiritual Bypassing vs. Action, how another 10-day ayahuasca trip isn’t always the answer and the importance of taking physical action in the material world.* The Foundation of Unconditional Love: Why feeling loved at a core level is a prerequisite for being “steady” and how to find that “divine guidance” if it wasn’t provided by earthly parents.* The “Ready” Myth of Fatherhood: Pat’s refreshing take on why you are never truly “ready” to be a dad, but why it remains the most purposeful “job” one can ever have.“You’re crazy if you think you know what it’s like to have a kid before you have a kid... but don’t wait to be ready for it, because that s**t’s not going to happen.” Connect with PatI hope you enjoyed that episode with Pat! Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.Visit thefathersguild.com to learn more about The Father’s Guild retreat.Follow Pat on Instagram and YouTube and check out The Father’s Guild PodcastSupport the causeIf you’re enjoying the podcast, and would like to support men’s mental health, consider leaving a 5 star review on Spotify and sharing the episode on your social media!Stay up-to-dateNever miss an episode by subscribing to Taming Thumos on Substack, it’s free! Every new episode and article is sent directly to your email inbox. Or if you’re listening on Spotify hit the notification bell to stay up to date with future episodes!Join the crewBe part of the community, remember “no man is an island”! Share your thoughts by participating in the comments section! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tamingthumos.substack.com

In this episode of Taming Thumos, I sit down with Dafydd (Davs) Dennis, a former Royal Marine, 15 year CrossFit gym owner and CrossFit Seminar Flow Master, to discuss the importance of physical training for your mental health, trust and the transition from military to civilian life. We also talk about the grueling upcoming charity challenge for our mutual friend, McCoy Turner, whose passing serves as the catalyst for raising awareness about the “silent epidemic” of male suicide.Scroll down if you’d like to watch the conversation or if you’re listening on Spotify please visit the Substack page here.The Power of “Shared Suffering”Davs and I explore why CrossFit gyms and military service create such unbreakable bonds. Davs explains that communities forged through shared physical suffering—whether in the Marines or a CrossFit box—create a “safety network” and mental stability that is difficult to find in typical civilian life or in “globo gyms”. Transitioning from the MilitaryWe talk about how joining the Royal Marines at age 16, significantly shaped our lives, for better and for worse. Difficulty trusting people in “Civvy Street,” where in the Marines you were about to trust people with your life. I reflect on my early desire to shed my “Marine” identity to fit into civilian life, while Davs discusses the initial embarrassment—and eventual pride—associated with his service.Remembering McCoyWe share memories of our friend McCoy, the “perfect actor” who could lead seminars with high energy while privately struggling with complex PTSD and depression. We discuss the isolation trap and how McCoy’s move to Bali may have contributed to his struggles by removing the “structure and community” that had previously kept him grounded.The 3 Peaks 10kTo honor McCoy’s life and support his family, Davs, Rob Lawson and Dave Palfreman are participating in an extreme version of the UK Three Peaks Challenge. Where they will climb the UK’s three highest peaks with 35kg Rogue Echo rowers strapped to their backs. At the summit of each mountain, they will row 10km before descending and driving straight onto the next mountain. All with the intent of raising funds for McCoy’s two sons, Brodie and Tommy, and to raise awareness of men’s mental health and the silent epidemic of male suicide.“Every single step will be f*****g god-awful... but it’s not as bad as what he went through.” — Davs DennisSupport the CauseI hope you enjoyed the conversation with Davs! Please share your “take aways” in the comment section below and consider sharing the episode with your friends and family.You can support the 3 Peaks 10K challenge and McCoy’s family by donating to their JustGiving page here. You can also follow the progress of the team on Davs’ Instagram here. Also…If you’re struggling with your mental health and experiencing suicidal ideation, do not hesitate to contact your local mental health crisis service:Australia: Lifeline 13 11 14 UK: 111 or 116 123 for the Samaritans or text SHOUT 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line, or text "YM" if you're under 19Stay up-to-dateSupport this work, and never miss an episode with a subscription—every new episode and article is sent directly to your email inbox. Join the crewBe part of the community, remember “no man is an island”! Share your thoughts by participating in the comments section! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tamingthumos.substack.com

Hi, Welcome to Taming Thumos…My name is Tom Henry, I’m a psychologist and former Royal Marines Commando. I’m your host and this is a short intro episode to give you some insight into the inspiration behind the podcast and what it’s all about.The aim of this podcast is simple: to provide relatable content that helps men feel less alone and empower them by drawing upon other men’s experiences and their own internal resources to climb out of the proverbial pit.I also hope to normalise the challenges of being a man in our modern western culture and inspire men to reach out for support as needed. We all need to “go monk” from time to time, but as a good friend reminded me during one of my “monk” phases, “no man is an island”...And with any luck, these conversations might also serve to provide some insight into the specific challenges men face for their partners, friends and family.I will be interviewing men from many different age groups and walks of life to provide a breadth of experiences that all men will be able to relate to. Expect to hear inspiring stories that usually remain behind closed doors, but the very stories we need to hear to validate our own experience. And from those stories, pearls of wisdom and actionable steps that helped men get through various challenges in their lives. Reminding you that you don’t need to go “full David Goggins mode” to pull yourself out of the pit! With the right mindset, skills, community and a little bit of faith, you can too!Welcome friend…Stay up-to-dateSupport this work, and never miss an episode with a subscription—every new episode and article is sent directly to your email inbox. Join the crewBe part of the community, remember “no man is an island”! Share your thoughts by participating in the comments section! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tamingthumos.substack.com

In this debut episode of Taming Thumos, I’m welcoming Dave Venus, for a candid conversation about men’s mental health, military service, and the long journey toward finding his “True North” after the uniform came off.Scroll down if you’d like to watch the conversation or if you’re listening on Spotify please visit the Substack page here. The Military Bond and the “Slow Creep” of PTSDWe reflect on our shared history in the Royal Marines, particularly our time deployed in Afghanistan 2007. Dave recalls the paradox of active combat: while facing extreme danger, life felt more real, friendships were more authentic, and the “pantomime” of civilian roles dropped away.However, we also discuss the “slow creep” of returning home, where the loss of the military’s scaffolding can lead to a loss of direction. Dave shares his personal struggle with memory loss and the eventual “crashing down” of his life—experiencing divorce and the sudden deaths of two immediate family members, all within a six-month period.Holistic Healing and the Western MindDave’s path to recovery led him away from traditional medical routes toward more intensive practices like CrossFit then into the energetic space of yoga to settle the “snow globe” of the Western mind. He talks about the importance of re-connecting the mind to the body, moving away from the disembodied state often demanded by modern work and technology.We also discuss the challenges of integrating deep healing modalities like plant medicine and long meditation retreats into a Western culture that lacks the necessary communal infrastructure to support them.The Search for Elders and MeaningThe conversation shifts to a critique of the modern “radical individual nature” of society and the disappearance of the three-generational household. Dave asserts that Men in crisis should seek an “elder”—someone who has lived through the pitfalls and embodies their teachings who can guide you through it. Dave shares his adopted mantra “Suit up, shut up, show up”—a reminder to be of service, quiet the voice that demands constant validation, and stay grounded in the present moment.I hope you enjoyed that episode with Dave! Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.Support the causeIf you’re enjoying the podcast, and would like to support men’s mental health, consider leaving a 5 star review on Spotify and sharing the episode on your social media!Stay up-to-dateNever miss an episode by subscribing to Taming Thumos on Substack, it’s free! Every new episode and article is sent directly to your email inbox. Or if you’re listening on Spotify hit the notification bell to stay up to date with future episodes!Join the crewBe part of the community, remember “no man is an island”! Share your thoughts by participating in the comments section! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tamingthumos.substack.com