#TBH Identity Unpacked

Have you ever felt alone, confused, and apologetic because you know something about yourself that is wired differently from other people? Mathilde did. In this episode, Mathilde shares her diagnosis journey, her perspective, experience as an autistic woman interacting with the world and herself. She points out that not all autism looks the same, and the representation of autism should be more diverse and inclusive, more than the ones present in the mass media. She encourages people to be more empathetic, stepping into other’s shoes to understand their struggle and joy. At the end of the day, “all we ultimately have is each other.”

In this episode, Abby shares her experience as a Latin American teacher in the US. When expressing her goals and beliefs for education, she takes an activist stance. She talks about her experiences of interacting with her students from immigrant backgrounds, her reflections on society and her position as a teacher. She believes, as a teacher, who is also a facilitator/mediator, it’s critical to be skillful and professional in what one is doing; also, one needs to find the balance when teaching the children. The purpose of education is not to make students like their teachers but to help them become their better selves. Additionally, Abby discussed the significance of language as the “anchor” or “key” that opens the door to your heritage and culture's archive. She ends by encouraging people to start having intergenerational conversations. Even though the conversations may be uncomfortable and require extra work. It can help you clarify your identity and values and also lead to greater mutual understanding.

Life can be hard, but when it comes to relationships, it can be double the trouble or triple the strength. In this episode, Becky shares her experiences and mindset about relationships as a married woman, especially when this relationship is under the test of distance and uncertainty brought by travelling. She points out that since two people come into the relationship as two separate and different individuals, it’s important to recognise and respect their individualities and boundaries. Although being different can cause some difficulties, how to have good communication with one another is a crucial question that two people need to work on together. Becky also reminds us that, the decisions we make might influence our lives, but nothing is permanent. It’s okay and possible to take a step back, re-evaluate the situation, and then try again. In the end, she encourages people who are scared to enter a relationship to know that the other person might be as scared as you are! It could be a good start to build a “teamwork” relationship and help each become a better self.

Have you ever felt lost when you looked into the mirror and wondered “Who am I?” Knowing yourself, reflecting on the past and seeing how you carry the past into the future demands honesty with oneself. Sometimes, the past may be a lesson, a stepping stone, or a trap that hinders you from going forward. In episode 10, Pin opens up about her thoughts and journey of discovering the “trap” and struggling with the self she displays to herself and others. It is not easy to reveal one’s struggle especially when it is still an ongoing process, but it is also a brave move to take. Pin encourages people not to forget to have honest, non-sugarcoated conversations with themselves from time to time. It’s okay to struggle and feel lost. It’s okay to be not perfect. It’s okay to still be on the journey. Be happy and keep on walking.

How and what people present themselves is greatly influenced by how they’re brought up and the environment around them. In episode 9, Bibi shares her thoughts and observations as a person who has double nationality which enables her to experience a different approach to the way of life. Also, how she encounters new and different cultures, and people from that identity position. Bibi experiences that, while continually moving brings challenges, it allows her to discover the essence of "home" and "friendship" when travelling. And it is definitely worthwhile.

You are about to hear a counter-story. “Where do I belong?” That is a question that many people ask themselves from time to time. Especially where you call home is highly diverse and has a long and complex past; especially confronting racial issues is part of your daily life. In episode 8, Isobel offers her experiences, thoughts, and, most importantly, her reflection on her standing/identity as a white person growing up in South Africa and studying/living in Europe. We cover the topics of the education system, the history of apartheid and how colonialism and apartheid continue to impact society now. Even though there are still many things that can be improved in South Africa, sometimes the situation can be frustrating and hopeless. However, change is occurring, the dialogue is ongoing, and hope is there. Isobel encourages people to be critical when hearing/learning about South Africa. Instead of repeating the single-story narrative, it is important to hear the counter-story and see South Africa from multiple perspectives.

In episode 7, we dive into the challenge of building meaningful relationships as Erasmus students. Being famous for having the advantage of travelling and studying around Europe and experiencing different cultures and people, Erasmus Mundus seems like a great choice without flaws. However, in terms of forming relationships while we travel, Rin offers her honest experience and viewpoint on the benefits and drawbacks of developing romantic relationships, friendships, and bonds with the land itself. She believes that even though it is hard to constantly face new relationships and departures, people can still have deep and meaningful relationships with one another with the right mentality and mindset. She encourages people who are afraid of trying new things and overthink all the time, just to take the leap of faith! Without these bruises and laughter, how can we say we've lived?

In episode 6, we unpacked the identity of being a gay in the Chinese cultural context. I am honoured to have Otis on the podcast to talk about several different perspectives in regard to his personal experience and observation about the relationship between homosexuality and sex, and the journey he takes to find his identity. In this conversation, he also shares his insight on the categorisation/ objectification phenomenon in the gay inner circle and how sex/sex education is presented in Eastern Asian culture. Otis encourages people to approach critically the categorisation and the meaning behind it. Also, he believes that in order to reach the ultimate gender/social equality in China, the first step is to achieve solidarity within the LGBTQA community. If there is solidarity, there is love and respect, and so is hope.

In episode 5, we talk about education! It’s always a pleasure to talk with a fellow educator. It’s like meeting a comrade on the same battlefield. I’m honoured to invite Je to share her experience as a primary school teacher in South Korea. In Je's opinion, being a primary school teacher in one's 20s can be both a blessing and a curse as well as a state where one must consciously push oneself ahead and even leave the comfort zone. In this conversation, Je talks about the journey before she decides to be a teacher and the difficulties/ joyful moments she encounters as a young teacher. Je also emphasises the necessity of including a variety of persons with various viewpoints in the educational system to bring students a broader world.

In episode 4, I’m very grateful to speak with Cecilie, who talks about the grieving and memorial journey she took with her family when they lost their father/ husband two years ago due to cancer. In this conversation, Cecilie shares many memories and stories full of joy and tears about her father. Death has always been a terrifying topic for many people, and grieving is often seen as a lonely and silent process. However, Cecilie believes that the best way to deal with grief is not to shy away from it. Talk about it with people on the same journey or those who love and care about you. Life sucks sometimes, but with hope and love, it will always get better in the end.

In episode 3, I’m honoured to invite Niels, a person with strong faith and rationality to talk about his identity as a converted young Catholic Christian living in western society, especially in France and Denmark where he is from and studied. With his double nationalities background, Niels can be more open to people who hold different values/ beliefs/ and traditions and put himself in their shoes. The same attitude applied to his faith. In this talk, he shares his philosophical perspective on Christianity and how this belief impacts his life along with both challenges and blessings. Niels reminds those who don’t believe in God it’s okay to have doubts from time to time and that it's worth a try. As for the young Christians who are in the same situation, Niels encourages them to be brave and certain about who they are.

In episode 2, I’m delighted to speak with Jounu, an ambitious, persistent and honest person. She is from India and currently pursuing a PhD degree in Aerospace Engineering in the UK. In this episode, she shares her mindset on achieving goals and her attitude along the journey. Also, she speaks about her relationship with her family, and how family plays a crucial role in her life, especially her maternal grandmother. This conversation with Jounu is very inspiring and encouraging - particularly for people who are still figuring out their direction in life or career paths ahead. If that's you, then this is the talk you need!

In episode 1, I have the great honour of speaking to Grace who was born in Scotland as a second-generation Hong Kong immigrant. In this wide-ranging talk, Grace shares openly about her struggle to find her identity between two different cultures and how being “different” in society has affected her childhood, friendships, family relationships and future professional development. Grace reminds people that it is important to be aware of one’s words and behaviour because languages have the power to influence people that can never be underestimated. Although the journey of searching for identity hasn’t finished yet, Grace encourages those who are also on the same journey to embrace who they are, and know that every single person is unique and different. What people say about you does not define who you are.