The Lesbian Breakup Podcast

Co-hosts Elina Street and Zara Barrie are *finally* back together and feeling it all…What happens when grief becomes a privilege? On this week’s episode, recorded on Zara’s 40th birthday, we get deep on grief, loss, and the unexpected clarity that comes after everything burns down. Zara opens up about what it meant to be a full-time caretaker for her mother, the surreal “business of death” that nobody warns you about, and why the silence after loss can feel both terrifying and like the first real breath you’ve taken in months. We talk about grief brain, the friends who show up and the ones who don’t, and why giving people space is not always the gift you think it is. We also get into grief privilege; the idea that knowing loss lets you into a different playground entirely, one where things that used to matter suddenly don’t, and the things that do matter become unshakeable. Whether you’re navigating a breakup, losing a parent, processing a friendship that fell apart, or just trying to find yourself on the other side of something hard — this one is for you.Grab a tissue, and know that you are not alone, and remember to feel it all. Crying is sexy.Every other Tuesday. We love you and thank you so dearly for your support.AVAILABLE ON SUBSTACK, SPOTIFY, AND APPLE PODS. Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe

In this raw, unfiltered episode, Emmy-winning director and co-host Elina opens up about navigating rejection (professional and romantic), writing a love letter that never arrived, and why she’s still hung up on someone she probably shouldn’t be.But this isn’t a spiral, it’s a Virgo’s dream, a well thought-out list that will especially help if you’re currently healing from a situationship.Elina breaks down her 10 Rules for Avoiding a Bad Lesbian Breakup: from situationships that were never actually casual, to why saying “I love you” too soon is an oxytocin trap, to the one question she now asks herself before tolerating anything — would I let a friend get away with this?Plus: the bag of rice theory of relationships, why first impressions are everything, and what it actually means to own yourself on a Friday night.Zara is dearly missed — we will be back together very soon.🎙️ All are welcome. Because no one understands heartbreak like a lesbian. Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe

This week, we’re breaking the format. It’s your Lesbian Breakup Podcast cohost, Zara Barrie and I’m going solo for an intimate, no-filter episode. But *don’t* worry, the brilliant and enigmatic Elina Street will be back next week. In this episode, I open up about what it’s been like caretaking for my mother in the final stages of hospice, and how living this close to loss has completely reshaped the way I think about love, heartbreak, and what actually matters in this crazy, whirlwind life. I answer your questions about relationships and breakups, share the most iconic advice my mother has passed down to me (that I’m so honored to pass down to you), and reflect on the haphazard, complicated, VERY human ways we survive the most harrowing chapters of our lives.I’m talking growth—real growth—the kind that’s not pretty or “aesthetic.” The kind of evolution that’s non-linear, complicated, and f*cking messy. I’m talking about letting go of victim mentality and turning our pain into our purpose. And yes, of course, I wax poetic about my own slew of screw-ups in love, life, and sex. I’m grieving. I’m raw. I’m not sugarcoating a damn thing. This is the realest you’ll ever get me, darlings. If you’re in the mood for something intimate, unpolished, and RAW—this one is for you. Support our Substacks: The Lesbian Bar Project + MASCARA LESBIAN Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe

This week, Zara Barrie and Elina Street take you on a wild adventure into the glittery institutions that raised us: the lesbian bars of New York and Los Angeles. From Zara sneaking into The Abbey at 18 in full Lindsay Lohan cosplay to Elina walking alone into Cubbyhole and getting waterboarded by a blunt New Jersey lesbian asking, “What’s your deal?”—this episode is a true love letter to the spaces that cracked us open and unearthed the lesbian within.We get into why sapphic sex is rarely casual (if you cum, you’re at high-risk of booking a cross-continental flight), the ~oxytocin spiral~ that turns a random hookup into a fantastical love story, and how much easier (and boring) life is when you don’t orgasm.We talk about toppy aggressive femmes, power bottoms, twin f*ckers, and the jarring whiplash of realizing your type might not be attracted to the type that is you.Topics include: • First lesbian bar experiences (LA vs NYC) • Attraction, rejection and type theory • Queer self-esteem, style and identityWant more? Check out The Lesbian Bar Project and Mascara Lesbian on Substack.Be sure to follow us on Instagram:@lesbianbreakuppod@zarabarrie@elinastreet@lesbianbarproject Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe

#4: Some people grow up with SCIENTIFIC sex education. Charts. Condoms on bananas. Clinical vocabulary lectured by an awkward gym teacher who is clearly DYING inside.Cohost Zara Barrie grew up with something else entirely: “KITCHEN TABLE SEX EDUCATION.” Which is what happens when you’re the youngest child in a house where chatty adults openly debate LOVE, SEX, AFFAIRS, HEARTBREAK, and TERRIBLE MEN over wine…while you sit there quietly absorbing everything like a tiny lesbian anthropologist in training.Meanwhile, Elina Street grew up in FRANCE, where sex education includes something Americans tend to leave out entirely: LOVE. Not just anatomy. Not just mechanics. But romance and relationships, too.In this episode of The Lesbian Breakup Podcast, Zara and Elina compare their wildly different upbringings, unpack the long and wild journey of finding your lesbian self, and revisit the ex-boyfriends who were…let’s just say…important stepping stones.We talk locker-room myths, cultural confusion, early awakenings, and that life-altering moment when you walk into a lesbian bar and suddenly think: Oh. Right. THIS is where I belong.Feel it ALL with us in Episode 4: Finding Your Lesbian Self (Eventually)This episode includes the topics of:Figuring out who you are and where the hell you fit in queer cultureEx-boyfriends who mysteriously end up living in France (same location, different stories)The messy and cathartic experience of taking our mothers to the dyke barThe beautiful, unhinged glory days of being a BABY LESBIANSupport us by becoming subscribers to The Lesbian Bar Project, Elina Street and MASCARA LESBIAN Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe

Episode three of The Lesbian Breakup Podcast explores what happens when real life crashes into your love life. From themes of grief, hospice, to bad timing, Zara and Elina still find a way to weave in stories about getting the ick or faking orgasms. And of course, the terrifying concept of pressing PAUSE instead of BREAKUPZara opens up about being in anticipatory grief while caring for her mother and what it means to love someone deeply while having nothing left to give. We talk about putting a relationship on hold out of love. Not avoidance. Not drama. LOVE.Elina returns from Paris to a literal flood, resurrected diaries, and a brain full of questions about independence, pedestal dynamics, and being a strong woman who still wants to be tucked into bed like a princess. We end deep diving into what it means to be a princess and the resentment we harbor when our loves don’t get it.We get into:*lesbian breakups*queer relationships*grief and dating*pausing a relationship*sudden repulsion syndromeThis episode is funny. Tender. Brutally honest. You don’t have to be a lesbian to be here. You just have to be someone who loves to feel it all!Support us on Substack: The Lesbian Bar Project and Mascara Lesbian Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe

In Episode 2 of The Lesbian Breakup Podcast, Zara Barrie and Elina Street return to talk about what happens after a breakup when the story is still unfolding in real time.They discuss making a podcast while exes may be listening, the risks of telling the truth publicly, and the boundaries required to heal after queer relationships. The conversation also explores a rarely discussed topic in the LGBTQ+ community: harassment and stalking between women, and how isolating those experiences can feel.From Paris lesbian culture to late-night gay happy hours in Florida, they dive into lesbian dating, intimacy, and sex — including whether lesbian sex is more emotionally intense and what that intensity can cost. They unpack attachment styles, avoidant behavior, and the blurred line between chemistry and emotional attunement.Zara shares an update from Florida as she cares for her dying mother and reflects on grief, love, and emotional bandwidth, while Elina discusses dating, breakups, and what she’s learning about boundaries and self-respect.A candid episode about lesbian relationships, heartbreak, queer intimacy, and navigating love during major life change.New episodes every two weeks. Support the show on Substack.Hosts: Elina Street @elinastreet & Zara Barrie @zarabarrieDesign: Daniel Cardoza @daniel__cardozaEditor: Masha Mikhailova @mashamontageSound Mixing: Jesse PetersonPaper Editor: Camille Mouret (@amii_rosi) Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Episode One of The Lesbian Breakup Podcast, a new podcast unpacking lesbian breakups, heartbreak, and the subsequent breakthroughs that follow.In this first episode, co-hosts Elina Street and Zara Barrie go straight into the deep end, unpacking their most recent breakups and what actually happens after queer love ends. From breakup sex to the early stages of healing, they talk candidly about lessons learned, codependency, toxicity in the lesbian dating world, stalkers, new lovers, lesbian love addiction, and what it really means to get your power back after losing yourself in someone else.Along the way, they ask the ultimate question: Is lesbian love and heartbreak worth it?This is a first-person conversation about lesbian heartbreak, love addiction, identity collapse, and the messy, nonlinear process of starting over. Honest, funny, and unfiltered, Episode One sets the tone for everything to come.If you’ve ever loved too hard, stayed too long, or had to rebuild yourself after a relationship ended, this episode is for you.Hosts: Elina Street (@elinastreet) & Zara Barrie (@zarabarrie) Design: Daniel Cardoza (@daniel__cardoza) Editor: Masha Montage (@mashamontage) Sound Mixing: Jesse Peterson Paper Editor: Amii Rosi (@amii_rosi) Music: Teenage FeelingsLearn more about The Lesbian Bar Project: also on Substack and Instagram Follow: Mascara Lesbian on Substack Get full access to MASCARA LESBIAN at zarabarrie.substack.com/subscribe