The Lifegiver Podcast: For Marriages that Serve

In this incredibly moving interview, Taya Kyle opens up about her marriage to the love of her life Chris Kyle. Chris was tragically murdered during the filming of American Sniper, forcing Taya to find a way to move forward with the legacy he was building while mourning his loss.Today, Taya continues to carry out that legacy by investing in military and first responder marriages through the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation. CKFF offers Date Night Out's, Revitalization Retreats for couples, Spouse Retreats, and more. During the 2016 Military Spouse Wellness Summit, Taya shared her wisdom about marriage, perspective on military deployments, what she believed Chris needed from her, as well as how faith has played a role in her moving forward. This extended interview includes additional questions about her faith, her perspective on the Sacred Spaces of her life being made extremely public, and more.For more information on the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation:www.chriskylefrogfoundation.org

Does it seem strange to you that it is healthy to have boundaries in marriage?  This comes as a surprise to many.  Why woudl I want to have boundaries?  Shouldn't we share everything?  Couples without boundaries run the risk of becoming enmeshed, chaotic, and not knowing who is responsible for what. I could not be more excited to share this interview with you.  I have been a huge fan of Dr. John Townsend for a long time.  Often times, the issues I see in the counsleing office come down to boundaries or a lack of.  I have recommended his books to more people than I can count. I have seen so many, including me, go on to find freedom and increased connectedness in relationships from learning how to have healthy boundaries. If you were not able to attend the Military Spouse Wellness Summit put on by InDependent.org and sponsored by Armed Forces Insurance, never fear.  I am pleased to offer you 5 of the most outstanding interviews form the Summit, uncut, and including additional questions just for the Lifegiver audience.  As I take a brief sabbatical, I hope you will enjoy these interviews with fantastic guests like Taya Kyle, Dr. Leslie Parrott and more.  Sit back, grab a cup of coffee, and join me with Dr. John Townsend.

The power of our words is absolutely necessary to us understanding our influence in the relationships around us.  In my year of becoming more intentional in my marriage, I have been thinking more about what it means to pay attention to the words that I speak over my marriage and family.  For some of you, the idea of a "Blessing" sounds like something from an old country church or maybe something that doesn't happen anymore.  What I want to tell you in today's podcast is that our words have an incredible impact in what the people around us think of us, of themselves, and their identity.  Today's episode is all about the month of November inviting us to be more grateful, especially as we are entering a season of family and often the tension it brings. Sit back, grab a cup of coffee, or maybe go for a run and let's talk more about the power of the words we use and the words said to us.

If you have kids, this is an interview you don't want to miss.  In fact, gather your children and listen together!  This is an interview with my two sons, Aidan and Jackson.  Aidan is 12 and in his second year of middle school and Jackson is 9 and in 4th grade.  This honest interview asks important questions about their experience as military kids, both the good and bad.

In this episode I share the new vision of Lifegiver, and it probably won't be surprising to most of you.  I talk about some upcoming events you will want to be part of.

Today's episode is unpolished and raw- well maybe not emotionally- but definitely unpolished.  I want to give updates on how life has been since coming out with the book as well as how living intentionally has changed me as a person and my relationship.  I will talk through how you can join the campaign and create lasting changing in your own marriage as well as exciting updates on interviews coming soon!

We are in the middle of our Sacred Spaces Series on teh Lifegiver Podcast and today's interview is a special one.  Those of you who have read Sacred Spaces will remember Amanda Marr as the Gold Star Widow I have the honor of serving back in 2009.  One of my most Sacred Spaces from that deployment, Amanda joins me on the podcast to have an honest discussion on what it was like to recieve notification of her soldier's death, how she took care of herself, and her process to where she is now.  This is an inpsiring podcast for any listener.  Amanda shares her honest thoughts on what makes a Care Team successful as well as tips she has learned about marriage now that she is remarried to an Army soldier.  You will be empowered, encouraged, and gain new perspecitve on your own marriage.

This is the 2nd of the Sacred Spaces Series and is a special episode!  Over a year ago, before Sacred Spaces was even a book, I sat down with the spouses of 3-61 CAV for a roundtable discussion on our experience together.  I have held on to this interview since them waiting for the right time to share it.  With the launch of Sacred Spaces today, it seemed perfect to share it now.

With the launch of Sacred Spaces: My Journey to the Heart of Military Marriage coming out August 1, I wanted to do a series based on the book.  Over the course of this series we will be talking about what to do when your service member comes home different as well as key interviews with people who shared sacred spaces in my own story from the book.  Join me in this episode where we talk about what to do when your service member comes home different.

If we were honest, many of us would admit that we do not fully understand the current efforts against ISIS.  Sure, I think we know the basics- many of which include how our own homes feel a little more vulnerable to the threat of terrorism more than 10 years ago.  There is much debate on US involvement against ISIS, whether we should lead out in taking them down or even be involved at all. During my trip with the SECDEF, one of my favorite moments was watching the media have time with COL Steve Warren in Baghdad and Erbil, Iraq. COL Warren is the spokesman for Operation Inherent Resolve (OIR) in Iraq.  What that means is that he is THE person that is responsible for helping all of us, including all American citizens understand what our US military is doing as ISIS continues to threaten the middle east.  He is often seen on major networks (CNN, FOX News, NBC, etc) giving updates on the US-led coalition. Now I am willing to play the ignorant card and say there was so much I wasn’t paying attention to, including where some of our troops are in Iraq, what exactly their mission is, and what ISIS has been trying to do.  I think I am not the only one.  Most likely, you are more like me unless you are heavily involved with foreign policy.  It was a huge wake-up call for me as I listened to COL Warren in Baghdad on how little I understood about how our news is made and how much I needed to do to educate myself. In this awesome interview, COL Warren gives some of his time to explain ISIS, Operation Inherent Resolve, and how we can support our troops over there. He has a great way of explaining the complex dynamics of this fight in a way that anyone can understand. Stay tuned to the end where you will hear his person “Shout Out” to all of you and how you can have powerful influence into your service member’s heart.

I recently put out a survey and asked for your feedback on what you have enjoyed from the Lifegiver Podcast and what you would like to hear more of.  Overwhelmingly, many said they enjoy hearing real content and me opening up a little more.  In this episode, I get very real and share with you the 5 biggest lessons I learned this year. I can tell you that this year was a massive character overhaul for me.  I had those in my most inner circle praying for me during times that I felt that I was having to find strength to overcome insecurity and develop the courage and confidence to complete the task in front of me.  So in this episode, I open up and talk about what that was like for me and the lessons I learned.  I firmly believe these are lessons that all of us need to learn at some point.  You will also hear about what the year ahead looks like and how you can join me in making our marriages great.

The top three conflicts that couples come into counseling for involve sex, family, and money.  Getting on the same page with our spouse when it comes to spending and saving money is not easy.  Many couples find themselves in debt due to student loans, multiple relocations, and as Dave Ramsey calls them stupid-tax decisions (spending choices we make and regret). In this interview on Lifegiver and I am thrilled to have William (Bill) Lockard with 227 Financial Coaching join me in a fantastic discussion on how money impacts our relationships.  Bill is a retired Army Officer that experienced the stress of debt in his own life.  In this interview he shares his story of how he and his wife changed their perspective on money which set them up for success in their future.  As the head coach of 227 Financial Coaching, his passion now is to bring that hope to other families. Listen now to my interview with Bill Lockard as he shares wisdom on financial topics that trip up many couples including: What do I do if my spouse doesn't want to change money habits? How can I get through a PCS (relocation) without going further into debt? How can I plan for retirement/transitioning out of the military? How can young families start now to make wise financial decisions?

The military spouse community has changed.  There are several generations involved and every single one of us plays a role.  Some of us will be called to rise to the occasion, pick up the mantle, and serve more.  Others are due for rest.  No matter how old you are, or how much experience you have had, you play a role in the village.

This week I interview Jennifer Hamrick- military spouse to an Army Chaplain, homeschool mom, and blogger.  She may not say it herself, she is far too humble, but she is a mentor to so many on so many things motherhood.  I have sough her wisdom on many occasions and watched as she patiently disciplined her 4 boys all while homeschooling them all.  With a Masters in Early Childhood Education, she has been on both sides of the issue and can speak to all of us regardless of where our children get their education. In this candid talk, we discuss her journey in deciding to homeschool as well as how she has navigated balancing taking care of herself and marriage. She and I discuss the stigmas for both sides, including the assumption that homeschool students struggle with social skills as well as perceived judgement on both sides.  You will also find TONS of resources from Jennifer as she shares her best tried and true websites, curriculum, and books that have helped guide her and keep her successful as a mom and teacher.   More than anything, allow her words to encourage you as we can all learn from each other and find ways to speak life into each others’ situation.

Corie and Matt discuss what it was like to switch roles and talk about the project of reversing roles.  Here is the audio of our video, also available on Youtube!

I had the most awesome day ever!  I got to ride in a MH-53  Helicopter - like 4 times!  I got to ride out to the Charles De Gaulle a French Aircraft Carrier Vessel in the Gulf.  What’s funny is that the press that I was with was playfully arguing over whether it was the Persian Gulf or the Arabian, so we just agreed its best to call it the Gulf.

I had the most awesome day ever!  I got to ride in a MH-53  Helicopter - like 4 times!  I got to ride out to the Charles De Gaulle a French Aircraft Carrier Vessel in the Gulf.  What’s funny is that the press that I was with was playfully arguing over whether it was the Persian Gulf or the Arabian, so we just agreed its best to call it the Gulf.

Today was emotional for me.  Maybe it was the anticipation of knowing this day would resonate the most for me, maybe it was the jet lag.  I only had 2.5 hours of sleep.  There is a little bit of a lengthy backstory on why this was emotional and there is no way I can explain it all.  If you read “The Outpost” by Jake Tapper, you would understand how Matt’s experience during that first deployment made this visit special.  I think there is going to be a specific place (or couple of them) for a lot of military families where if it is meaningful to your spouse then it is meaningful to you.

Today I got to fly into Erbil, Iraq and spend a lot of time getting to know what deployment is like with our female soldiers at LSA Danger.  Seeing deployment living conditions for them was quite eye opening.  Not that they were poor, in fact our service members are well taken care of, but there are so many things we are told that they try to describe to us that can’t convey it accurately.  Honestly, it has been a challenge to figure out how I could convey them to you in a new way.

Day two was filled with plenty to think about.  Listen here as I debrief on what it was like for me to experience Iraq from my husband's perspective.

Hello Air Force!  My first day started off with the bright lights of day when it should have been 2am.  I got about 4 hours of sleep thanks to the “sleepy pills” the on-plane physician handed out.  I am your normal everyday military spouse who happens to be a clinician, but I am going to do my best to share with you what I experienced today.  My hope is that I can take this experience and translate it in a way that will encourage you to invest in your marriage.

Bonus Episode!  Matt and Corie go back to the university where they met and fell in love and talk about what it has been like to serve military families. Hear a little bit of their story here.

We all likely remember our first move in the military.  Filled with doubt, excitement, adventure, and fear- we learn to navigate the new community, acronyms, and the importance of that ID card.  In this raw interview, Claire Wood shares her story that she recounts in her book: Mission Ready Marriage: My Life as An Active Duty Wife. Claire could not be more vulnerable as she shares the anxiety of leaving everything and everyone she knew to start a new adventure with her husband as an Army Wife.  Deployment was tough, but reintegration was tougher.  Many of us wish we had the guts to be as honest as Claire is as she shares her confusion with wanting to be reunited with her soldier, but struggling with the independence required by spouses during deployment. In Claire's fantastic book, she not only tells her personal story, but includes reflections on what she and her husband needed and how God has brought purpose out of her challenges and victories.  You will not want to miss this one and you will definitely want to share it with someone who is going through their first deployment and reintegration.

I have had many opportunities to address the “resilience” of military families.  Like many of you, I don’t relate to this word.  In fact, I don’t want to even say it anymore.  I don’t feel like I “bounce back” from things.  Often, I feel like I evolve more than anything else. In today’s episode, I walk you through my last few Jackson Pollock manic months or research on what do military couples really need to get through difficulty.  Get ready to put your thinking caps on as I help you understand why we feel like we are knocked down to the ground after minor obstacles.  This content is fantastic for understanding how to help you walk your children through stress, but more importantly how to understand what is going within you.  Secondly, I am thrilled to share with you why marriage is the answer for how we can become more resil…. I mean healthy….

Erin Whitehead has achieved what many spouses dream of achieving.  She is a Marine spouse who loves her husband dearly and followed him everywhere the Military sent him.  In this episode, she shares what it was like right after 9/11 to be a military family.

It is one thing to go through the constant change of military life in my life, it’s another thing entirely to watch my kids struggle.  I feel responsible for their wellbeing, but how do you know when your kids are really struggling with the constant transition of moving, making friends, and leaving friends?  Kids and adults feel stress in similar ways, but sometimes their expression of it may look different.

In this episode, I interview Lena Steiner.  Lena describes her journey as a military spouse during the ups and downs of the military lifestyle.  Her husband's long work hours, the tragedy as responders to a mass casualty, and a growing family have challenged and matured her marriage.  Lena talks about turning to running marathons to cope and the influence of mentors and leadership on embracing her role as a military spouse.

In this episode, I describe what a Lifegiver is and the three things that I have found in common with every Lifegiver I have ever met. If we want to make a difference in our home and in the world, these are three things we MUST do.   I hope it challenges and encourages you to work towards your purpose and potential.

In this episode, Corie talks with the women of New Life Church in Colorado Springs, CO from 2010.  Many people have requested access to this talk, so it has been included into the Lifegiver Series.  This is a talk on how you can manage chronic depression as well as how your faith can help your own struggle or with someone you know.

Cyberbullying has been causing a lot of strife in the military spouse online world.  If you haven't heard about it, hear an update on what's going on and what some are doing about it.  Also included are ideas on how we all can handle online aggression better based on Corie's work with teen girls.  For fun, Corie talks about how Military Spouses can all relate to Wonder Woman, the Amazon Princess, who is a fierce warrior for good in the world. Shout Out curtesy of Rachel W

Corie Weathers, LPC and AFI 2015 Military Spouse of the Year shares a little bit about her own story as a military spouse and her vision to make Lifegiver Military Spouse Podcast as a place for other military families to be encouraged.  Information on how you can send in your shout out is available and you get to hear the first inspirational shout outs to Lifegiver!

Corie sits down and talks with 88.3 FM Family Radio on what it means to serve the military as a ministry team as well as her recent 2015 AFI Military Spouse of the Year Award.