The LOVE>hate Podcast

In the powerful conclusion of our two-part series, host Melissa Etzler continues her conversation with Caralyn, diving deep into the terrifying reality of post-separation abuse and the high-stakes journey of escaping a toxic environment while pregnant. This episode moves beyond the early red flags discussed in Part 1 to explore the dangerous escalation of control that often occurs when a survivor begins to reclaim their independence.Caralyn shares the harrowing details of her second abusive relationship, where the "charm" of a 24/7 phone connection was actually a digital leash. She describes the chilling experience of being forced to stay in a back bedroom to avoid repairmen and the constant, exhausting battle of defending her fidelity against baseless accusations.Key Highlights of Part 2:The Escalation of Violence: The terrifying moment a wooden hairbrush became a projectile—and the realization that things would only get worse.Planning the Escape: How Caralyn orchestrated a quiet exit while four months pregnant, managing the physical and emotional toll of a high-risk pregnancy under duress.Post-Separation Abuse & Legal Battles: The "worst year" of Caralyn’s life involving false allegations, CPS investigations, and the ongoing trauma of "invisible" threats.The Reality of "Peace": What life looks like a decade later, including the hyper-vigilance of a "safe harbor" and the power of protective orders.Tools for Healing: Caralyn’s specific practices for intentional self-talk and reframing negative thoughts at age 44.This episode is an essential listen for anyone navigating the complexities of domestic dynamics or supporting a loved one in crisis. Caralyn’s ultimate message is one of incredible resiliency: that even when you are "starved for love," you have the power to prioritize your safety, trust your judgment again, and keep rising.Did you miss the beginning? Be sure to listen to Part 1 to hear how these cycles began and the early signs of control that Caralyn first encountered.Click here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

In this episode of LOVE>hate, host Melissa Etzler sits down with Caralyn for the first installment of a two-part series on surviving and transcending toxic cycles. Caralyn, offers a raw and vulnerable retrospective of two different abusive relationships, one from her early twenties and one from her thirties, to provide a "glimpse into the future" for other survivors who feel trapped by their past.In Part 1, Caralyn deconstructs the subtle and often confusing early red flags of narcissistic control. She details how "protective" behavior can quickly morph into extreme domestic demands, from having to vacuum carpets in perfectly straight lines to being dictated on what to wear and how much makeup to apply. This episode is a masterclass in understanding the psychology of isolation, explaining why abusers create a secluded world to prevent outside perspectives from breaking their hold.We we talked about in Part OneThe Illusion of Charm: How abusers often present as the most "handsome and nice" person in the room.The "Boiling Frog" Syndrome: How control starts with breakfast choices and gym routines before escalating to physical violence.The Shame of Survival: Caralyn speaks candidly about a traumatic incident of degradation and why she kept it a secret for years.Isolation Tactics: The strategic move to distance victims from family and the fear that prevents calling for help.The Danger of Quick Moves: Reflecting on the "convenience" of moving in together early and how it cements the abuser's power.This episode is a vital resource for anyone looking to understand the intricate cycles of abuse and the strength it takes to seek independence. Caralyn’s journey reminds us that while the harm was endured, it does not have to define the meaningful, peaceful life that follows.Stay tuned for Part 2, where Caralyn discusses the complexities of domestic abuse while pregnant and her ultimate journey toward safety and self-love.Click here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

In this powerful episode of Love is Greater Than Hate, host Melissa Etzler sits down with Matt Melvin, author of Bully Behind Bars, for a raw and transformative conversation about trauma, faith, and the long road to self-forgiveness. Matt shares his harrowing journey through the American prison system—including experiences with solitary confinement and physical assault—and how these challenges became the catalyst for a profound spiritual awakening.Matt opens up about growing up in a stoic environment where emotions were suppressed, a background that left him ill-equipped to handle the bullying and trauma he faced early in life. He reflects on his "lukewarm" faith and the pivotal near-death experience in 2015 that finally forced him to draw a "line in the sand." This episode dives deep into the crucial distinction between simply believing in God and truly trusting Him, especially when navigating mental health conditions like PTSD and autism within a system not designed to support neurodivergence.Key highlights from this episode include:The Power of "I" Statements: Why taking personal ownership of your emotions is the first step toward freedom.Breaking the Cycle of Victimhood: How Matt moved from being a victim to a "thriver" through journaling, prayer, and discipline.The Necessity of Boundaries: Learning to trust while verifying, and the importance of finding a "tribe" of like-minded, neurodivergent individuals.Nature as Medicine: Why getting outside and moving your body is essential for mental clarity and breaking the chains of isolation.Whether you are struggling with your own past mistakes or looking for the courage to forgive yourself, Matt’s story serves as a beacon of hope. It is a reminder that while healing isn't linear, peace is possible when you choose to stop holding yourself hostage.Connect with Matt Melvin: Purchase his book, Bully Behind Bars, on Amazon and follow his journey on Instagram @BullyBehindBars or X @BarsBullied.IG- BulliedbehindbarsX- BarsbulliedFacebook- Matthew.Melvin.5621Link to my book on Amazon:https://www.amazon.com/Bullied-Behind-Bars-Christian-Supporter-ebook/dp/B09SFKYFCDEmail: [email protected]

Picking up where Part 1 left off, Melissa and Bill dive into the "how" of long-term healing. Bill reflects on the messy reality of growth, admitting that progress isn't a straight line but a series of oscillations between old habits and new intentions.Now a father and a professional speaker, Bill discusses how he broke the cycle of generational trauma to raise his children differently. This episode is a masterclass in emotional intelligence, offering listeners tangible tools to manage their own "emotional charges" and navigate a divisive world with grace.Phone: 303-875-0070 Keynote SpeakerWebsite: https://www.delacruzleadershipsolutions.comPodcast: The Origination PointLinkedin.com/in/billdelacruz/Instagram: @billdelacClick here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

In the first half of this powerful conversation, Bill de la Cruz joins host Melissa Etzler to pull back the curtain on a childhood defined by trauma, abuse, and survival. Bill shares the raw details of his early years—from navigating a volatile relationship with his father to the devastating and sudden loss of his sister.As a young man, Bill found himself on a dangerous trajectory toward prison or death, fueled by unaddressed anger and substance abuse. However, at 18, a pivotal encounter with the law became the catalyst for a 30-year journey of transformation.Phone: 303-875-0070 Keynote SpeakerWebsite: https://www.delacruzleadershipsolutions.comPodcast: The Origination PointLinkedin.com/in/billdelacruz/Instagram: @billdelacClick here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

In the world of leadership and personal development, we often talk about "resilience" as a buzzword, but Jules’s story reminds us that true resilience is a grueling, active process of reclamation. This episode picks up at one of the most pivotal moments of her life: the aftermath of her abuser’s arrest. It wasn't the end of the struggle, but rather the beginning of a complex journey toward self-worth.Jules introduces a powerful perspective on the weight of our choices. She discusses how the path of healing and rebuilding a life from scratch is undeniably difficult. It requires a level of courage and discipline that most people will never have to summon. However, she contrasts this with the agonizing "hard" of remaining in a violent, stagnant situation where your identity is systematically stripped away. By framing her recovery as a deliberate choice between two different types of struggle, she highlights the agency that survivors reclaim when they decide their future is worth the work.Beyond the philosophy of recovery, Jules gets into the practical mechanics of untangling years of mental manipulation. She shares the specific, clinical tools that acted as her "armor" during her darkest days. We dive into the impact of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy and the vital role of domestic violence support groups in breaking the isolation that often follows trauma.This conversation is a raw, honest testament to the fact that healing is rarely a straight line. It is a messy, non-linear progression of finding one's self-worth again. Jules’s experience serves as a roadmap for anyone navigating their own "hard" path, proving that while the journey is demanding, the person you become on the other side is entirely worth the effort.Click here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

Trigger Warning: This episode contains detailed discussions of domestic violence and emotional trauma.In Part One Jules provides a raw, unfiltered look at the "silent" beginnings of abuse. It wasn’t just physical; it was a calculated web of isolation, emotional manipulation, and psychological control. If you’ve ever wondered why leaving is so complex, Jules explains the "emotional tether" that keeps victims anchored to their abusers, even as the danger escalates.The Myth of the Overnight Change: Understanding how abuse can infiltrate even long-standing, healthy foundations.The "13 Times" Reality: A candid discussion on the survival statistics and the psychological hurdles that make "just leaving" nearly impossible.The Wake-Up Call: Jules recounts the terrifying kitchen-floor encounter that finally forced her to choose between her life and her history.Survival Instincts: How the mind and body adapt to extreme trauma in order to survive.This is more than a story of tragedy; it is an essential resource for anyone seeking to understand the dynamics of domestic abuse, the signs of coercive control, and the incredible resilience of the human spirit. Whether you are a survivor, a supporter, or looking to educate yourself on DV awareness, Jules’s journey offers a vital perspective on the transition from victimhood to survival.Click here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

“I was not breathing. Everything was just very shallow.”In this moving episode of Love is Greater Than Hate, host Melissa Etzler sits down with Danielle, an award-winning author and master life coach, to discuss her incredible 26-year journey of healing after a life-threatening domestic violence situation. Danielle shares the raw reality of leaving a toxic relationship at 19, the "first breath" of peace she found through a yoga VHS tape, and how she eventually traded a life of hiding for a life of international speaking and self-love.If you’ve ever felt like your trauma defined you, this conversation is a beautiful reminder that healing isn't linear, but it is possible. Danielle breaks down her "I.A.M." framework and explains why "taking up space without shame" is the ultimate form of freedom.Where you can find Danielle:Website: www.inspiredactionwellness.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/inspiredactionwellness/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/inspiredactionwellnessLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/inspiredactionwellness/Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@fineletstalkAmazon Author Page: www.amazon.com/author/daniyoungClick here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

In this moving episode of the Love is Greater Than Hate podcast, host Melissa Etzler sits down with Maricela, a licensed mental health clinician who shares her harrowing journey from surviving an armed robbery to finding her calling in helping others heal.In 2010, while working as a supervisor at a CVS in Los Angeles, Maricela’s life changed in an instant when three masked gunmen stormed the store. What followed was a terrifying ordeal that left her zip-tied and traumatized, marking the beginning of a long, dark battle with severe anxiety, depression, and prescription medication dependency.Maricela speaks candidly about the "hopelessness" of those years—the struggle to be a single mother while living in constant fear, and the frustrating process of finding a doctor who truly saw her as a person rather than a "guinea pig."Ultimately, this is a story of divine orchestration. Maricela reveals how she advocated for her own health, found the right support, and eventually turned her trauma into a tool for service. Today, she uses her experience to offer authentic empathy to her own patients, proving that there is always light at the end of the tunnel.Grab a copy of Maricela's book here: https://a.co/d/7nUK9MaClick here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

In this deeply moving episode, host Melissa Etzler welcomes Tina Djuretic to share her transformative "hero’s journey" from a life defined by trauma to one of profound self-love and joy.Tina opens up about hitting rock bottom in her late 40s after a series of relationships with narcissistic and emotionally unavailable partners. She reveals how she realized she had been "dating her parents" and how a spiritual awakening during the global shutdown of 2020 allowed her to finally face the childhood memories of abuse she had suppressed.Through the help of a spiritual channeler, Reiki, and the rigorous work of reprogramming her inner child, Tina explains how she transitioned from a life of rage and fear to one of forgiveness and peace. This episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling stuck in toxic cycles or looking for the courage to "clean out the closet" of their own past to make room for a brighter future.Click here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

In this deeply moving episode, Melissa Etzler sits down with MJ, a survivor who has spent the last decade navigating the complexities of trauma and recovery. MJ opens up about her journey from childhood abuse and toxic relationships to finding her voice through the transformative power of art therapy.MJ shares how a chance encounter with the "Love is Greater Than Hate" organization in college sparked her realization that she could take her power back. However, it was during a mental health hospitalization in 2020 that she discovered her most potent healing tools: watercolor, alcohol ink, and poetry.Featured Poem: "I Will Not Be Silenced""Healing is a work of art... empowered, I feel ready to take on the world, one word, one brushstroke at a time." — MJClick here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

In part two of Jessie's story we explore her marriage with a narcissist and how she was able to finally get away. We also hear about how she's able to help children, as a teacher, detect these signs and get them help. Her healing journey is an inspiring one that gives hope for ending ancestral trauma.Click here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

Emotionally abused from the day she was born, Jessie was at the forefront of her fathers abuse growing up until she was able to go to college where the man who sexually assaulted her was also going. Jessie was resilient in moving forward with her life and has taken control. Part one explores her abusive upbringing and sexual assault while part two explores her marriage to a narcissist and how she took control of her own healing with support and knowing she wasn't alone.Click here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

Join Melissa Etzler for a powerful and deeply moving conversation with Jacalyn, who shares her incredible story of resilience and faith following an unimaginable tragedy.Jacalyn opens up about the devastating moment in 2018 when her abusive ex-husband took the life of her new husband, Chris, at her coffee shop—in front of their children. She recounts the earth-shattering shock and panic of that day, but also the pivotal moment in the parking lot where she chose full surrender to God and forgiveness toward her ex-husband, instantly releasing her from the grip of evil.Jacalyn’s story is a testament to finding hope, healing, and a deeper connection to faith after walking through the hardest parts of trauma. If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, loss, or violence, this episode is a powerful message to keep going and know that you are not alone.Get a copy of Jacalyn's book here: https://a.co/d/dH4y9Y3Click here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

In this deeply honest and moving episode, host Melissa Etzler welcomes Adam A. Meyers, a veteran police officer, who bravely shares the story of his six-year-long struggle following a critical, life-altering incident in 2016 where he was forced to use deadly force in the line of duty.Adam recounts the intense emotional turmoil he experienced after the shooting, leading him down a destructive path of poor coping mechanisms, including alcohol abuse (mixing alcohol with prescription and cough medicine), casual sex, marijuana use, and self-harm. He discusses the overwhelming burden of stress, anxiety, and depression he was trying to numb, and the moment of clarity that served as a painful stepping stone toward recovery.Adam's story is a vital message of resilience for all first responders and anyone struggling with trauma and mental health, demonstrating that it is "okay to talk about your mental health and you can get help."Click here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

In this powerful first episode, Autumn shares her incredible journey of surviving years of escalating domestic violence. She takes us inside the fear, the isolation, and the critical moments—including a chilling encounter with a female police officer—that led her to prioritize her daughter's safety and finally escape. Autumn bravely discusses the lasting toll of mental abuse over physical scars and challenges the common question, "Why didn’t you leave?" by shifting the focus to where it belongs: accountability for the abuser.Click here to donate to LOVE>hate nowNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)Loveisrespect Teen Dating Violence Hotline: 1-866-331-9474National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1-888-373-7888

The LOVE > hate Podcast is a trauma-informed space where survivors of assault and interpersonal violence can share their experiences and journey to healing and reclaiming their lives. Hosted by a trauma-informed Emotional Freedom Techniques practitioner, we believe in the power of your voice to inspire, empower, and connect.