The Repair Your Relationship Podcast

There are seasons in life when nothing feels clear or straightforward, no matter how much you think, pray, journal, or talk things through. This is especially true when you’re in a challenging relationship. It’s not because there’s something wrong with you, but because every possible path forward involves some kind of loss.The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.

Medical events, aging, illness, and loss have a way of touching our deepest attachment wounds, which awaken very difficult questions within a committed love relationship. Will you come for me when I’m feeling alone? Will you stay with me when I’m feeling scared? Can I rest in your arms, or do I have to keep holding everything together on my own?The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.

What looks like “bad behavior” is often a nervous system asking for help. The parents learned that curiosity opens doors that control never will. And they learned that addressing the real problem, not just the visible behavior, changes everything.This is what the CPS model does so well. It doesn’t ask families to choose between safety and growth. It builds a bridge between them. It honors a child’s need for autonomy and protection while gently teaching the skills required to navigate a world that will always include challenges.The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.

Every so often, a story comes into my practice that highlights something important about human behavior, trauma, and the parts of us that drive harmful actions.I worked with a client I'll call Cassandra. Her former partner, whom I'll call Keith, showed patterns of behavior so aligned with what Martha Stout describes in The Sociopath Next Door that I found myself returning to the book's insights again and again.The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.

He said it quietly, almost apologetically, during a Family Counseling Intensive: “I know my parents care about me, but I don’t feel cared for.”I could see the words stop his parents in their tracks. Of course they cared. They worried, thought deeply, and talked about their kids constantly. They had invested significant time, energy, and resources into this Intensive precisely because they cared.And yet, something essential was missing.The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.

I want to tell you about a couple I worked with recently during a Couples Counseling Intensive.Let’s call them Ozzie and Harriet.They were long-married, thoughtful, deeply committed to one another, and genuinely invested in their relationship. They weren’t in crisis. There was no betrayal, no looming breakup. But something subtle and persistent had been wearing on them.Harriet had been feeling increasingly anxious as they prepared to complete a big project together. Ozzie, on the other hand, felt unfairly criticized. He experienced Harriet’s anxiety as blame—like she was holding him responsible for not solving a problem fast enough or well enough.They both wanted relief. But even more than that, they wanted to find their way back to understanding each other.The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.

When Heated Rivalry exploded into the cultural consciousness, people kept asking the same incredulous question. How is it that an M/M hockey romance has resonated so deeply with women across the world?But sitting with it, really sitting with it, the answer feels less surprising and more inevitable. This story didn’t just arrive at the right moment. It named a truth that we’ve kept locked away for a very long time.Shane and Ilya didn’t just give us a love story. They gave us a model of desire without shame and commitment without self abandonment. Millions of women saw themselves and said YES, because it finally told their truth.If Heated Rivalry stirred longing, grief, or a quiet “why don’t we have that” in you, please hear this. That response is not silly or unrealistic. It’s information.This is exactly what my Couples Counseling Intensives are designed to support.I work with couples who feel stuck as roommates, separated by emotional distance or quiet resignation, and help them move back into authentic connection, desire, and real intimacy - connection that is lived, embodied, and sustainable in your actual relationship.This work is brave.It’s deeply vulnerable.And it is possible.Learn more here: https://ashevillefamilycounseling.com/couples-intensives/The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.

In the intricate tapestry of human relationships, the impact of early attachment trauma often remains hidden — shaping our experiences in profound, yet often invisible, ways.Attachment trauma refers to the wounds we carry from our earliest relationships with caregivers — moments when our need for love, safety, or connection went unmet. These wounds are not just memories. They live in the body. They shape how we perceive threat, how we regulate emotion, and how we connect with others — especially with those we love most.Today, I want to share the story of a couple I had the privilege of working with in a 3-day Couples Counseling Intensive. Their names have been changed, but the transformation they experienced is very real.The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.

Today’s episode is a personal reflection on something I see again and again in my work with clients: the way relational trauma lives in the body — and how safety, not insight, is the real foundation of healing.The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.

Today, I want to talk about something that may feel achingly familiar if you’ve ever watched someone you love suffer… and felt powerless to stop it.It’s a reflection on grief, presence, and the profound difficulty—and transformative power—of simply staying with someone in their pain, without trying to fix it.The story I’ll share is deeply personal. And it’s also universal.The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.

Today, we’re talking about attachment trauma—and how it can cause us to turn away right at the moment we most long to be held.So what is attachment trauma?At its core, attachment trauma happens when our early caregivers—those who were supposed to protect, attune, and respond—were unavailable, unpredictable, or unsafe.And that leaves a mark. Not just in your memories, but in your nervous system. In the way you relate to others.If you grew up not knowing if someone would come when you cried…Or if the people who said they loved you also hurt or dismissed you…Or if you had to earn love by performing or pleasing or making yourself smaller…Then intimacy—especially with someone who actually wants to love you well—can feel terrifying.Attachment trauma isn’t about what’s wrong with you.It’s about what happened to you—and what your system learned in order to survive.And unless we tend to it with great compassion, it will continue to shape our adult relationships—often without us even knowing.In today’s episode, I’ll share a story from my dear friend and colleague Lori Marchak that offers such a powerful metaphor for this exact pattern. We’ll explore what healing actually requires, and how we can begin to trust again—even if we’ve never really felt safe before.The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.

In today’s episode, I want to share something deeply personal: what it’s looked like to navigate the past year of caregiving for my mom, and how I’ve come to understand that grief and joy don’t cancel each other out—they live side by side.The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.

Today, I want to talk with you about a quiet ache many of us carry: the ache of familiar suffering.So many of us carry a deep, often unnamed ache—a persistent feeling of being on the outside looking in. It might show up in relationships where we feel unseen or in family dynamics that stir up a sense of exclusion. It may even surface in moments of self-sabotage, where we’re baffled by our own choices.The familiar suffering is a pathway to deeper healing.And when we accept the invitation—to slow down, to turn inward, to befriend the parts of ourselves that were left behind—we open the possibility of deep and lasting transformation.* * *The Repair Your Relationship Podcast is hosted by Stacey Curnow, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Relationship Specialist, and founder of Asheville Family Counseling.