The Steinpunk Diaries

When I was 23 I read Patti Smith's memoir, Just Kids. Her evocative writing pulled me in, but it was a shared childhood experience that tethered me to her forever.✨Thank you for listening 🙏🏻 Get full access to Ashley Valensteïn at ashleyvalenstein.substack.com/subscribe

In 2019 I went to see a psychiatrist to discuss my OCD, and I walked away with a diagnosis for the last thing in the world that I thought I had; ADHD.One for all the late diagnosis girlies. I see you <3Support the show✨Thank you for listening 🙏🏻If you enjoy the podcast and want to support my work, you can:💜 Connect with me on Insta and let me know what you think of the show💜 Become a subscriber💜 Listen to my music Get full access to Ashley Valensteïn at ashleyvalenstein.substack.com/subscribe

What is your current relationship with your creative process?"I'm terrified it will leave me. I don't know how to make it grow. I'm desperate to make music my career, but I also want to remain true to my art. I'm supposed to be wintering; gathering spells and letters, trinkets and treasure, bathing in monnlight and song...soaking it in, art... but frustration and desperation are getting in the way. Forever keeping me urgent.I am fighting my winter."Support the showSupport the show✨Thank you for listening 🙏🏻If you enjoy the podcast and want to support my work, you can:💜 Connect with me on Insta and let me know what you think of the show💜 Become a subscriber💜 Listen to my music Get full access to Ashley Valensteïn at ashleyvalenstein.substack.com/subscribe

In this moment, are you letting yourself be lead by fear, or by love?I was supposed to release an album this month, on my birthday, November 14th. I wasn't ready, but after a year of family health scares I let the burden of comparison and the fear of time slipping away push me to try.It all fell apart of course, being lead by fear never turns out well. When I realised I had to cancel the album launch, I was forced to reflect on how I had got to this point. Why did I feel so desperate to put out this body of work? Why did I insist on pushing myself to complete an impossible task?Birthdays can do funny things to the mind. I keep telling myself that ageing is a privildge, but I'm not sure I can hear it.Support the show✨Thank you for listening 🙏🏻If you enjoy the podcast and want to support my work, you can:💜 Connect with me on Insta and let me know what you think of the show💜 Become a subscriber💜 Listen to my music Get full access to Ashley Valensteïn at ashleyvalenstein.substack.com/subscribe

On my 18th birthday, my parents gave me a black terracotta jar adorned with red and white love hearts. It came with a small piece of paper upon which I was supposed to write a wish, a hope, a dream.Once you have filled the jar with money, you smash it and voila, your wish has come true. My wish, hope, dream?I wanna make it.I've had that jar for almost 18 years. Did I make it?Support the show✨Thank you for listening 🙏🏻If you enjoy the podcast and want to support my work, you can:💜 Connect with me on Insta and let me know what you think of the show💜 Become a subscriber💜 Listen to my music Get full access to Ashley Valensteïn at ashleyvalenstein.substack.com/subscribe

How can I hold this for youIf I can't hold you?Like a lot of people with sensory issues, I struggle with physical contact. I don't want anyone to touch me, but I feel so left out and alone when I see others doing it. Teenage girls walking down the street arm in arm, friends casually leaning on one another, toddlers being carried by their parents.So, when a public speaking workshop turned out to be a highly physical affair, I was pushed to consider why I am so averse to being touched, being held, by others.Support the show✨Thank you for listening 🙏🏻If you enjoy the podcast and want to support my work, you can:💜 Connect with me on Insta and let me know what you think of the show💜 Become a subscriber💜 Listen to my music Get full access to Ashley Valensteïn at ashleyvalenstein.substack.com/subscribe

Ticking all off my problems off of the shopping listThey’re all out of hope but I don’t even know if I need itYeah, I’m, oh,Forgot myself better go back for itWhy do I spend so much time in the supermarket? What do I get out of wandering through the aisles, buying ugly decor and kitchen tat, blankets, and cheapy candles.Consumerism or post-pandemic mental health coping strategy? Perhaps it's both. Let's find out.Support the show✨Thank you for listening 🙏🏻If you enjoy the podcast and want to support my work, you can:💜 Connect with me on Insta and let me know what you think of the show💜 Become a subscriber💜 Listen to my music Get full access to Ashley Valensteïn at ashleyvalenstein.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to the Steinpunk Diaries.In this first digital entry, I recount an experience I had last spring which led me to begin my adult journey with the concept of death.Drawing inspiration from distant memories of spring, sadness, and sudden realisations, I created a new song using parts of a voice note I recorded last year.Support the show✨Thank you for listening 🙏🏻If you enjoy the podcast and want to support my work, you can:💜 Connect with me on Insta and let me know what you think of the show💜 Become a subscriber💜 Listen to my music Get full access to Ashley Valensteïn at ashleyvalenstein.substack.com/subscribe