The Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise
by Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise
Tom, Calvin and Paul talk about their long history as fans of bad movies and as good friends, and generally embarrass everyone they know. They also do what they can to ruin podcasting for the rest of the world.
Episodes
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Season 3, Episode 11: 18 Bronze Girls of Shaolin
PRESS RELEASE: FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION THE TURKISH DIPLOMATS PRESENT CHARMING NOISE UNVEIL THEIR REVIEW OF “THE 18 BRONZE GIRLS OF SHAOLIN” — THE MOVIE YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED (OR FEARED). Forget logic. Forget physics. Forget knowing what’s happening half the time. The 18 Bronze Girls of...
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Season 3, Episode 10: Mothra
Your favorite gentlemen of B-movie distinction, The Turkish Diplomats. a.k.a. Tom, Calvin, and Paul, are back with a true classic of the drive-in genre, 1961's Mothra. The boys defend this movie as the greatest of the Toho monster movies, and it is arguably one of the greatest monster movies of…
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Season 3, Episode 9: Walking Tall
No man stands so tall as when he is walking and carrying some wood. And speaking of wood, would you believe the boys have posted a new episode? Tom, Calvin and Paul talk about one of, if not the king of drive-in movies, the 1973 classic "Walking Tall," starring Joe Don Baker as the legendary (and...
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Season 3, Episode 8: Macon County Line
Finally, the boys bring you a new Episode! This time it's the 1974 drive-in hit, "Macon County Line," which once you see it, you'll say, "Well...it was 1974." This hicksploitation classic has everything you want in a drive-in movie, and quite a few minutes of stuff you don't. Jethro Bodine…
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Season 3, Episode 7: Double Feature of Eat My Dust and ZAAT
The Turkish Diplomats are back, but this time it's a double feature! It's two movies in one show, so you know the time mismanagement is strong with this one. First up, Tom, Calvin, and Paul tackle the 1976 Ron Howard vehicle (literally) called "Eat My Dust," followed by the 1971 Florida monster...
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Season 3, Episode 6: The Big Doll House
The Turkish Diplomats are back, and we have reviewed a movie to create what can be described as audio! Only Tom, Calvin, and Paul love you enough to review movies out of any semblance of order, so this episode is on the movie "The Big Doll House," another women's prison escape movie set in the...
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Season 3, Episode 5: I Dismember Mama
Greetings! The boys from Charming Noise are back with a movie that is both terrifying and cringe-inducing. We could only be describing "I Dismember Mama" from 1972, also known as "Poor Albert & Little Annie." Albert has, let's call them issues, and ends up institutionalized just because he tried...
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Season 3, Episode 4: Black Mama White Mama
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – AND POSSIBLY PAROLE The Turkish Diplomats Present: Charming Noise Next Episode – “Black Mama, White Mama”: Pam Grier, Chains, and Mid-Jungle Mayhem Hold onto your polyester, kids—because the Turkish Diplomats are back, and this time we’re handcuffed to 1973’s Black Mama...
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Season 3, Episode 3: Frogs
The boys are back with a new episode of The Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise! This time, we subjected ourselves to the 1972 drive-in classic Frogs. This one has some genuine stars of the screen, including Joan Van Ark, Ray Milland, and Sam Elliott. We have confirmed it is him although the...
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Season 3, Episode 2: Empire of the Ants
Incoming madness! The Turkish Diplomats are diving headfirst into Empire of the Ants (1977), a film that dares to mix real estate fraud, toxic waste, and *giant mind-controlling ants**—all with the sheer audacity of 70s B-movie insanity. Joan Collins tries to survive, but will we? Tune in soon…
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Season 3, Episode 1: She Demons
By God, the boys have finally posted the first episode of a new season! Yes Season 3, Episode 1 of the Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise is finally live. In this extra-long very special episode, Tom, Calvin, and Paul review what some have referred to as "a movie." From 1958, "She Demons"…
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Season 2, Episode 10: Star Odyssey
Greetings! Tom, Calvin and Paul take on another Italian sci-fi masterpiece...well, it is a piece, for sure. The film is 1979's "Star Odyssey," originally released as "Sette uomini d'oro nello spazio," or "Seven Golden Men in Space," which really has nothing to do with the plot, if that's what we...
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Season 2, Episode 9: Horror of the Blood Monsters
This is a dilly of an episode. The Turkish Diplomats (Tom, Calvin, and Paul) are joined by our first guest ever on the pod, our friend Ronnie Kroepfl on a very special Charming Noise. She's Tom's wife and a longtime Bad Movie Night aficionado, so it's a treat to have her on. This is a double...
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Season 2, Episode 8: Star Pilot
Never fear, as Tom, Calvin, and Paul, a.k.a. The Turkish Diplomats, have returned to mess up your world with a new episode. Today, we talk about "Star Pilot," an Italian production from 1966. This has everything the boys love, which means it's an enjoyably bad movie. We are noting some patterns...
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Season 2, Episode 7: Biohazard (1985)
The Turkish Diplomats (Tom, Calvin, and Paul) are back with an episode featuring the 1985 space monster thriller "Biohazard." This season, the boys have been pursuing films with the theme "Science in space gone bad." Well, you can't get a lot worse than this, especially when the actual tagline…
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Season 2, Episode 6: Astro Loco
Crikey! This week, the boys have gone down under, and I don't mean in the way that got them crossways with the local constable. No, I mean they are reviewing the 2021 Australian production of "Astro Loco." Basically, there's this ship, right, and it's flying to one of Jupiter's moons, and...well,...
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Season 2, Episode 5: Mission Stardust
Well, after far too long, Tom, Calvin, and Paul present their latest review, this time for a 1967 German-Italo production, Mission Stardust. This movie is based on the Perry Rhodan series of science fiction novels, so if you are a fan of those, this movie is for you. Actually, if you're an enemy…
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Season 2, Episode 4: The Astro Zombies
Okay, Episode 4 is up, and it's "The Astro Zombies." But didn't you guys (Tom, Calvin, and Paul) do that episode the other day? No, we did one of its apparently many follow-ups. This is the original Ted V. Mikel's classic (?!) from 1968. It's actually not a horrible movie. In fact, I think the…
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Season 2, Episode 3: Mark of the Astro Zombies (Part 2)
That's right, kiddos. If you listened to the last episode, by federal law you have to listen to this one as well, because the boys weren't finished talking about this movie. That's how much was wrong with it. So, enjoy the second volume of our two-parter "Mark of the Astro Zombies." Once again…
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Season 2, Episode 2: Mark of the Astro Zombies (Part 1)
Yes, it's the return of the Turkish Diplomats as they take a turn at the 2002 direct-to-dustbin "Mark of the Astro-Zombies." This is a "reimagining" of the director's original film "The Astro Zombies" made in 1968 with some members of the original cast, including himself and Tura Satana. We plan…
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Season 2, Episode.1: Inseminoid
Well, well, well...The Turkish Diplomats, a.k.a. Tom, Calvin, and Paul, have begun a second season of Charming Noise! This season, the theme is Space Science Gone Wrong! I know, I too am intrigued, and you'll be intrigued with our first episode based on the 1981 movie, "Inseminoid." This...
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Series 1, Episode 11: Bigfoot (Troma)
In the last episode of this season, our intrepid heroes review the 2006 direct to something film "Bigfoot." This movie is a bit of a conundrum, in that we can't find out much about it. It was made by a guy named Bob Gray, and the film is officially a Troma release, though they really had little…
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Series 1, Episode 10: What Happens in the Mountains, Should Stay in the Mountains Part 2
Okay, this may be a little confusing. The Turkish Diplomats have reviewed a sequel and not the original simply because it's just not easily found. But don't worry, it would have even wasted more of our lives had we seen Part 1. Let's just call it "What Happens" so I don't have to write out this...
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Season 1, Episode 9: Bigfoot vs D.B. Cooper Part 2
Here it is, Part 2 of the Turkish Diplomats trying to work out their childhood traumas via explanation of the film "Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper." Seriously, Tom, Calvin, and Paul could have talked another episode or two about this movie, but at some point one has to move on and embrace the future…
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Season 1, Episode 8: Bigfoot vs DB Cooper, Part 1
Wow. This movie was so good at being godawful, we couldn't stop talking about it. Join Tom, Calvin, and Paul discuss one for the record books, a film called "Bigfoot vs DB Cooper." We had so much to talk about we had to make two episodes. We could have made more. Many more. This movie's got...
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Season 1, Episode 7: Bigfoot at Holler Creek Canyon
Thomas, Calvin, and Paul review, as best they are able to with their limitations, the 2006 movie "Bigfoot at Holler Creek Canyon." This film does what it can to prove that sex scenes and porn stars don't necessarily make a film sexy. In fact, this film may contribute to Erectile Dysfunction, so...
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Series 1, Episode 6: The Wild Man of the Navidad
Tom, Calvin, and Paul review a second movie in a row they have to consider a basically good film. What the hell is the world coming to!? This episode, they are checking out 2006's "The Wild Man of the Navidad." It's got mean-ass Texans, an awful character who dies without anyone finding out how...
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Season 1, Episode 5: The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot
Yes, that is the name of a movie, and not only that, but a movie the Turkish Diplomats almost feel bad about talking about because it's technically a good movie! Don't worry, the boys have plenty to criticize, starting with the title, but find out what this Sam Elliott (yes, that Sam Elliott)...
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Season 1, Episode 4 - Bigfoot vs the Illuminati
The boys are back with a review of what may be a historical find for their long-term Bad Movie Night operations...a movie that may have reached the bottom of the barrel for bad movies. Check out the discussion, and the apparent revulsion, to a movie that's not only godawful, but may have clones…
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Season 1, Episode 3 - Bigfoot vs Zombies
Welcome to the long-anticipated third episode of The Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise. It's just Tom and Paul for this outing as they continue their saunter through the world of horrible Bigfoot movies. Listen as they review and discuss the 2016 Hairy Palm d'or winner "Bigfoot vs Zombies."
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Season 1, Episode 2 - Bigfoot
Welcome to the second episode of "The Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise." The boys review one of the first Bigfoot-centered motion pictures, creatively named "Bigfoot." It's a 1970 release starring John Carradine, a couple of Mitchums and Crosbys, and every out-of-work cowboy star still...
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Season 1, Episode 1 - Bigfoot’s Wild Weekend
Welcome to the first ever episode of "The Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise." This week, Tom, Cal, and Paul review "Bigfoot's Wild Weekend," which is something like a movie, in that it is on some streaming services and runs about as long as a movie. Actually, they will be reviewing...
About this show
Tom, Calvin and Paul talk about their long history as fans of bad movies and as good friends, and generally embarrass everyone they know. They also do what they can to ruin podcasting for the rest of the world.
Hosted by
Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise