Therapy with Men and Boys: A Guide for Clinicians

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast!In Part 1 of this 2-part series, suicidologist, Dr. John-Sommers Flanagan discussed with Erica and David what researchers know and don’t know about why so many men kill themselves. While males and females attempt suicide in equal numbers, men are 3-4 times likely to succeed. John spoke to some of the things researchers do know – e,g., loss of a job and relationship break-ups are leading triggers for males.  But he also made clear how much we really don’t know. The episode ended with John promising to do a role play.This episode features that role play. John plays the therapist, and David plays the client, a middle-aged unsuccessful novelist, whose suicidal ideation was triggered by his wife’s confronting him with his failures. We’ll listen to, among other things, how John creates a collaborative, non-threatening style; his use of scaling intensity of emotions, and searching for what can lift them; and his continual empathic reflections ensuring a strong therapeutic relationship. John is a strong believer in the use of evidence-based therapy, so everything you hear is grounded in current research.

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast!Imagine this scenario. Your client is a middle-aged man - depressed, possibly suicidal. But he won’t talk about his feelings. He admits to suicidal ideation but brushes it off. You are very worried. You go through your assessment checklist and your acronyms, but they aren’t helping. This man is just too withdrawn. But you know that doing a suicide assessment right may be your most important task as a clinician.In this episode, Drs. Erica Liebman and David Shepard talk with Dr. John Sommers-Flanagan, a suicidologist who is also an expert in working with boys and men. Using cutting edge, evidence-based strategies, he will teach you, with examples, how to have an effective assessment conversation with a suicidal male. You will hear how an assessment can be a collaboration, not an interrogation. This episode is Part 1 of a 2-part series on how to talk with males about their suicidal thoughts and feelings. The episode ends when Dr. Sommers-Flanagan is ready to do a demonstration of a suicide assessment. In the next episode (to be dropped two weeks after this one), you will hear that demonstration.

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast!Female therapists face unique challenges when male clients make sexualized comments—whether overt advances, suggestive language, or subtle seductive tones. These moments can rupture the therapeutic alliance and trigger countertransference, making it difficult to maintain boundaries while keeping the conversation therapeutic and shame-free.In this episode, Drs. Erica Liebman and David Shepard interview Dr. Ali Shames-Dawson, Director of Education at Therapists of New York and expert in men’s sexuality. Dr. Shames-Dawson helps female clinicians navigate sexual dynamics in treatment, offering practical strategies to understand men’s sexualized behavior and model effective boundary-setting language.She demonstrates how to protect yourself while keeping male clients feeling safe, set firm limits without shaming, and transform boundary violations into deeply therapeutic opportunities. Her approach is both no-nonsense about what’s unacceptable and compassionate in exploring the deeper meanings behind sexualized comments—helping clinicians turn challenging moments into powerful clinical work.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast!How do you help men who won’t seek help? Dr. Audra Horney found the answer on TikTok.In this episode, co-hosts Dr. Erica Liebman and Dr. David Shepard talk with psychologist Dr. Audra Horney about her innovative approach to one of therapy’s biggest challenges: getting men through the door in the first place. With over 100,000 followers on TikTok and 20,000 on Instagram, Dr. Audra has become a social media influencer with a mission—reaching men in emotional pain and showing them that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.Dr. Audra shares how she entered the world of social media, what she’s learned from connecting with thousands of men online, and the specific strategies she uses to create a therapy environment where men feel safe enough to be vulnerable. Whether you’re a clinician looking to expand your reach or simply trying to better understand how to support the men in your practice, this conversation offers fresh insights into meeting men where they are—both online and in the therapy room.About the Guest:Dr. Audra Horney is a licensed psychologist based in Arizona, specializing in men’s mental health with a growing social media presence dedicated to breaking down barriers to therapy for men.

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast!If you’re a heterosexual therapist working with adult men, chances are you'll also be working with gay men. But how prepared do you really feel? Most graduate programs and internships offer little guidance on how to navigate the unique clinical and cultural nuances of working with gay male clients. So as you sit with your gay client, questions may arise: Will they feel safe with me? Do I really understand their lived experience? What if they ask about my own sexuality?In this episode, Drs. Erica Liebman and David Shepard sit down with Dr. Will Elder, psychologist at the South Texas VA and expert in therapy with gay men. Dr. Elder shares practical strategies, clarifies common misconceptions, and offers insights that help heterosexual clinicians feel more competent, attuned, and confident in their work with gay men.

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast!Why are so many men ambivalent about coming to couple therapy? And so many therapists struggle with engaging men in the therapy process? In this special episode, Dr. Erica Liebman looks for answers by interviewing her co-host, Dr. David Shepard, who is a leading expert on making couple therapy effective for male partners. Together, David and Erica will explain why men in heterosexual relationships are ambivalent about couples work. David will then discuss what clinicians can do to help them overcome their ambivalence, and instead, make them feel couple therapy is a safe place for the vulnerable work of expressing tender, often attachment-related emotions.  The episode will reveal how to build a therapeutic relationship with male partners, how to know when a man is ready to explore painful emotions, how to make sure a man doesn't worry about a female therapist taking his partner's side, and other solutions to making sure therapy is a place where men and women can feel more deeply connected.

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast!The "manosphere" gets a lot of attention in the media- but what is it, really? At its core, it's a loose online network of influencers talking about a range of topics, but all having a connection with masculinity, male identity, and "what it means to be a man." Some voices in this space genuinely resonate with young men, offering a sense of empowerment and community. But many others promote, overtly or subtly, harmful narratives -- misogyny, anti-feminism, toxic masculinity, and right wing ideologies that can distort self-worth and damage relationships.Therapists are uniquely positioned to help young male clients sort through these conflicting messages, and when needed, countering their negative influence. In this episode, co-hosts Drs. Erica Liebman and David Shepard speak with Dr. Saed Hill, a leading expert on the manosphere. He unpacks its appeal, its dangers, and how therapists can support clients in shaping healthier, more expansive visions of masculinity.

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast!Working with male clients as a female therapist presents unique challenges. What happens when your client shuts down, or none of your empathic responses seem to land, or you just can't seem to develop that crucial therapeutic alliance? What do you do when your own past experiences with men -- especially the ones that left scars-- start to shape the session?In this episode, Dr. Erica Liebman and Dr. David Shepard sit down with Dr. Holly Sweet, a leading expert on the psychology of masculinity, to discuss the complexities of gender dynamics in therapy. From countertransference to building trust, from handling resistance to creating a male-friendly space, Dr. Sweet offers invaluable insights that every clinician working with men should hear. Whether you've struggled to connect with male clients or wanted to refine your approach, this conversation will leave you with actionable strategies and a fresh perspective on working with men in therapy.

Please Send Us Your Thoughts on this Episode or the Podcast!Join us for the very first episode of Therapy with Boys and Men: A Guide for Clinicians. In this episode with guest Dr. Fred Rabinowitz, we explore how to accomplish the most important and often challenging tasks therapists need to know to make their treatment with men successful. These include, how to build a strong therapeutic alliance, navigate the line between providing solutions versus sitting with emotions, invite men to "tell their story," and help men express their underlying pain.Dr. Fred Rabinowitz is one of the country's leading experts in working with men. He is Professor of Psychology at the University of Redlands, a clinician specializing in working with men for over 40 years, and a prolific author in the field of masculinities, co-authoring such books as  Man Alive: A Primer of Men's Issues, Men and Depression, Deepening Psychotherapy with Men, Breaking Barriers in Counseling Men, and Deepening Group Psychotherapy with Men. He's presented numerous times throughout the country, and is a member and Past-President of the American Psychological Association's Society for the Psychology of Men and Masculinities.