Third Strongest Podcast

EarthBound is over, and there's nothing left to talk about, except the postgame, the credits, the other credits, and maybe a couple other things we forgot. And then it's time for Final Thoughts. Thank you for listening to the Third Strongest Podcast.

In a 153-minute audio tour de force, the Third Strongest Podcast hurtles toward its thrilling climax as we trudge through the Cave of the Past, up the pulsating hallway of doom, and come face to face with Giygas and his little friend.

It falls to us to scour the Shire in search of a shiny stone lodged in the crevices of a still-burning meteorite. It also falls to us to get really deep into time travel talk and run a serious risk of reading a bunch of Chrono Compendium articles. What is time travel, anyway? Is it, as some contend, a form of travel?

Ryan lives in Australia and the time delay on Discord calls makes it sound like he's talking over people more than he thinks he is. He does talk over people, but, you gotta understand, part of that is the latency of transmitting the conversation back and forth across the entire planet. Jason McIntosh joins us in this episode about Magicant.

Live from Central Park! Jason McIntosh finishes what he was talking about when he was talking about the psychosexual implications of Magicant.

Having concluded our business among the Surface Tenda, we descend into the Lumine Hole, so that we may descend into the Lost Underworld, so that we may descend into the Fire Spring, where hopefully we won't deal too much damage to Carbon Dog at the wrong moment. And then, hopefully, we can be done descending for a little while.

Zach serves as Dungeon Master as Ryan and Sarah attempt to navigate Nyaasu Nekoban's translation of Akio Higuchi's gamebook adaptation of EarthBound 0, titled MOTHER: Invasion of the Unknown. Wherein Ninten's name is "Douglas."

Having concluded a bit of backtracking, EarthBound demands that we take a step back and recall our journey so far. So we drink some tea, and we reflect on details that slipped our mind, such as fate and time travel and David Lynch's version of Dune. To learn more about how battle backgrounds are generated, go find that YouTube video from Retro Game Mechanics Explained. To learn more about the Brain Stone, just try googling slightly harder than Ryan did during the recording session.

We must now venture into the catacombs beneath Stonehenge, where a new contender for Favorite EarthBound Character emerges in the form of Sebastian. If you're playing along with us, we urge you to Make, Don't Grind in this playthrough and in every playthrough. And in all other aspects of your life. Thank you.

The Deep Darkness is home to a dizzying array of wildlife (mostly meaner versions of other wildlife), and also to some monkeys, and also to a human businessman who could have leapt straight from the pages of The Kids in the Hall. And a bat!

Jason McIntosh rejoins us as we enter Dungeon Man, whom we analyze both as Dungeon and as Man, and in Jason's case as Body. The bathroom talk is not over yet.

Jason "Jonathan Harker" McIntosh agrees to send us a three-minute recording from a bridge.

The suburban hamburger-chugging adventure that you thought was the premise of the game has been left behind, and now this is a Dragon Quest game where you loot a pyramid. In this episode, we fight the Kraken without commenting on what type of beast the game applies the name "Kraken" to, and we explore the hamburger-free town of Scaraba, and we loot a pyramid.

EarthBound quietly becomes nonlinear, and it falls to Ryan and Zach and Sarah to pursue some loose ends before they slip our minds completely. We must return to the big city. We must pay big money to learn about the museum curator's big find. We must fight a big rat. And we must get around to watching a certain John Carpenter film.

I don't see why Jason keeps insisting he's not an expert on anything. Nobody accused him of being an expert. This is the episode where we play as Poo and complete our Mu training.

Zach is on assignment in Prague so Ryan and Sarah are going to trawl a certain tag on itch.io.

There's plenty to say about Summers, but there might be even more to say about the Hint Man, that balding Greek chorus who somehow seems to know exactly what we need to do, even when we ourselves know exactly what we need to do. And yet I feel like we didn't say enough about the Stoic Club. Let's go back and do an episode that's just about the Stoic Club.

We on the podcast have been looking forward to this cave full of monkeys for a while. Hey, if you have an example of a third Monkey Cave-type video game thing other than the Gibdo Well, get in contact with us! We're dying over here.

Noted something-or-other Jason McIntosh joins us to discuss the neon-blasted uncannyscape that is Moonside. Jason and Zach have both played a game called Norco, which seems to be germane to the discussion. Also, on this podcast we are discovering that mice are sort of a big deal in this game. Have you been noticing that?

Zach has a thesis about dungeons, and the first and second parts of this thesis will be unveiled as we mess around in Fourside, sullying our youthful innocence by association with greasy capitalists like Geldegarde Monotoli, and Miss Fake, and the manager of a popular department store. Also, we will encounter some moles.

First we must hike over to the Milky Well, to consider the nature of "Your Sanctuary" and questions of where milk comes from. Then we can enjoy a hero's welcome in Threed, where a dog may have been imprisoned without cause. Then we will pass through an empty space. Then, at last, we can explore the desert, which is full of all sorts of neat little things.

In this episode, we take a coffee break. We slow down and take some time to remember some of the topics we've missed. Not quite all of them, of course.

Friend, this is the episode with Saturn Valley and Master Belch. You're in for a treat.

Zach has played the prequel to EarthBound, and he has the scoop on the localization, the difficulty, the mysterious nature of Magicant, and the tie-in gamebook starring Doug Halloway.

The stakes are raised, so to speak, as we enter Threed and fall victim to its various autumnal perils. And then we go to Winters, to experience the Sublime, and to meet Brick Road. We did not say enough about Brick Road in this episode. We will say more later.

As we explore Happy Happy Village, the word "dungeon" gets a real workout. The specter of Twin Peaks raises its head, as does the specter of backtracking all the way to Onett to check on Lier X. Agerate's dig site. And Zach finally sees the 1980 film The Blues Brothers for the first time. They sure blowed up a lot of stuff in that movie. Blowed up real good.

At long last we venture to the Next Town, which is Twoson. There are jokes in the hospital; there are jokes in the flea market. There is a man who jumps off the roof of his house and bites you. But is he really a bad guy? What is a "bad guy," exactly? Exactly.

It is time to go to the hospital, to go to City Hall, to buy a house. And it is time to fight a big ant. It is time to discuss the tuba.

As our journey begins and we amble around the town of Onett, we notice how much of this game is fuzzy, indistinct, un-Paper Mario-like. We notice an astonishing lack of efficiency. And we face the dreaded criminal kingpin Frank, whose hairstyle Ryan will inexplicably describe as an "afro."

It's time to talk about EarthBound. It's time to reveal our favorite thing. It's time to try casting a spell. This is the third strongest podcast.