This Never Happens

Welcome to This Never Happens 8 - The Xmas Edition.  At 1.15 we try to guess the Word Of The Year in various languages, rate some  TV shows at 9.34,  scorn some unloved expressions at 13.40, and, at 17.45 we perform a musical in 41 seconds. At 19.00 Christina  mentions her favourite TV show and at 21.05 we use bad languages - or use languages badly, at any rate. (The article referred to is at https://corplinguistics.wordpress.com/2013/06/21/the-weirdest-languages/) Memorable dates are recalled at 26.35 followed by Lilian and Christina comparing their favourite desks at 28.08.  Novel events get a mention at 30.48 - Lilian not only lays down the law, she also wrote one! (https://osf.io/preprints/lawarxiv/yc6xu/ if you want to read it.)  For your Xmas present we say goodbye and give you a little bonus performance by Michael Cule  and right at the end Lilian makes her debut as a chanteuse! This episode's cover art is by Ros Calverley from TNH 8 in 1985.  As always, we appreciate comments. Our email address is [email protected]

Warning: much of this recording contains cheese. We start with our impressions of Punctuation, the online convention. After 28 mins of that we give Alison Scott a chance to tell us stuff we got wrong in TNH6.  We finally cover the 1987 TAFF report by Jeanne Gomoll at 32 mins before commenting on e-books vs real books at 49 mins, TV vs YouTube at 52 mins and the new netiquette for Zoom seminars. That gives way to reminiscing about songs from our university days and Lilian's first date 1 hour in. After that we have the return of Erratum Corner starting at 63 mins. Whew! The episode artwork is by Dave Harwood and was used as the cover of TNH 7 in 1985. We also had even more errata from Claire in Croydon. (We do seem to get a lot of things wrong!) Claire writes: Here's some fan history that might still be interesting because you were there: * Lucid dreaming with Graham Joyce took place at the 1992 Eastercon in Blackpool (Illumination) * Lilian and Christina were at Year of the Teledu (2007) rather than Year of the Wombat (1997), although Ian was an early adopter and one of the Real Fans who we were all mystified & wanted to come to Inconsequential in 1992 * Tobes was crucified at the opening ceremony of Damn Fine Con (2002), after which James and Stef were keen to sell off the opportunity to lick him for the benefit of the fan funds; I don't recall whether any funds were actually raised that way...

After the introductions and acknowledging our listeners, Lilian and Christina discuss their virtual trip to the Eurocon (3.40), the state of online events (19.00) and the challenge issued by Octothorpe to a battle of witlessness online during the Punctuation convention (26.42). After that we are off to the theatre then the movies to look at the cultural resonances of Hamilton (27.45) and Black Panther (34.18). We finish with some comments from our listener (41.03) and Ian tries to cover the waterfront with embarrassing goodbyes. This episode's cover art is by Dave Harwood. As always, we appreciate any comments. Our email address is [email protected]

Lilian and Christina talk about New Mutants and Ian is scared of the Mutant Algorithm. Lilian learns what a palimpsest is and Christina runs from Channel 4. The Missing Cryptoqueen is not in Cornwall, we read books set at conventions and we run out of time to cover all our listeners' lovely comments. Sorry Mrs Trellis! The Burkiss Way sketch alluded to in this episode can be heard at https://app.box.com/s/newibbr8h1m6ersblkcv6f7c4f7ycewx Rainbow Rowell links: Fangirl   https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00EVRHE8E/ref=dbs_a_def_awm_bibl_vppi_i3 Carry On https://www.amazon.co.uk/Carry-Rise-Fall-Simon-Snow-ebook/dp/B00XUELDP4/ Podcast cover art is by Chris Brasted and was first published in This Never Happens, the fanzine, in 1984. Please send comments to [email protected] TNH 5 Running Order 1.25 Mutant Algorithms, 14.06 Highs & Lows: 15.39 - Audacity Learning Curve,  17.35 - Yoga for Real,  19.25 - Running From Channel 4, 25.16 - Zoom Wine Tastings, 28.57 - Media Moments: Missing Cryptoqueen, 32.37 - Books set at conventions, 44.30 - TNH6 preview

Lilian and Christina talk about their holidays and Ian is wistful about his non-holiday. We hear from our listeners and correct some mistakes from previous episodes in our famous Errata section. We also discuss lie detectors and bondage with the creator of Wonder Woman! Podcast cover art is by Dave Harwood and was first published in This Never Happens, the fanzine, in 1983. Please send comments to [email protected] TNH 4 Running Order 0.00 Intro then Highs & Lows 10.53 Christina reads your Locs 16.58 Giki, sewage and The Sun 20.22 Prof Marston and the Wonder Women 36.04 Devon beaches and bodies 47.04 Bikes vs Cars vs Lilian 51.49 Errata and Goodbyes 54.22 End

After successfully publishing their "difficult 2nd album" Lilian and Christina (with help from Ian) offer the (soon to be) fan-favourite 3rd podcast. This  is a gatesleeve, double album that covers listener letters about Duolingo, ants, socially distanced book clubs, family holidays during revolutions, Eurovision, cricket commentators in isolation and TV soaps in a time of plague. As a bonus there is a fanzine review section and, to play us out, our very own song. Start points of topics: Listener Comments (1.45), Ants (7.25), Fire Saga the Eurovision Movie (12.38), Book Club (24.51), This Here Review (32.09), Doomscrolling (37.32), The TNH Song (45.39) Email us with comments: [email protected] For more on flying ants listen to BBC Newscast from 27.15 onward. [https://www.podbean.com/ea/dir-5eij5-97f60dc] The fanzine reviewed is on the excellent eFanzines.com and the issue in question is This Here 31 by NIc Farey. [https://efanzines.com/ThisHere/ThisHere31.pdf] The artwork for this episode is by Dave Harwood for TNH 3 in 1983.

In the vaguely science fictional milieu we inhabit Christina and Lilian discuss the world over cocktails and get interrupted occasionally by Ian. Topics covered include  podcasts, lockdown TV shows, track & trace apps, Duolingo, sleeping satellites and listener comments. Podcast cover art is by John Culbard and was first published in This Never Happens, the fanzine, in 1981. WARNING! This Never Happens may pivot at any moment.  This Never Happens may contain a pun. In this episode we present for your aural pleasure: 0.48 A fraud with a pod. Wittertainment  by Simon Mayo and Mark Kermode is available from 5live. 2.20 Ian blows his Bugle.  The Bugle podcast comes from Andy Zaltzman 3.56 BBC radio as podcasts.  More or Less is on BBC Sounds. 5.30 Why Staged was perfect lockdown fodder. Staged is available until June 2021 on iPlayer 14.46 Nailing down what we like and don't like in lockdown TV 23.56 Highs and Lows of the week - apps, sats and flying ants. Plus: why Duolingo bonuses are bad. 36.19 Pivoting to Primark 38.00 Comments on listener comments. Send your comments to [email protected]

Lilian and Christina have things to say. They say them, and Ian interrupts.  The topics covered will be of interest to people, especially people of a fannish nature who like SF, beer and discussing statues.  After introductions we present for your aural pleasure:   1.45 Why are we doing this?  7.20 Highlights of the week: Statues of Limitations 14.50 Immunity Superpowers 22.20 Pronunciation without vowels 26.03 Untapped knowledge about beer 34.56 Future plans 36.28 Erratum

Still experimenting with podcasting but determined to share what insights we have with the world.  Lilian and Christina take on a subjects close to their brains in an attempt to make sense of this science fictional world, while Ian wonders what happened to him. A full episode will follow Real Soon Now. But, as we all know, This Never Happens.