Tinned Fruit

A professional psychologist's ambivalent assessment of Tinned Fruit leaves the duo perplexed. There is little time for introspection, however as Paul is relentlessly pursued by an ex-special branch turned toilet attendant intent on bloody revenge.  Elsewhere Art Simon finds himself at war with a Viking trying to turn a longboat around in his driveway, and the introduction of a new, fun topic selector is upsettingly overshadowed by Paul's perverse obsession with prison and violent offenders.   Zazie" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

A mysterious letter from a listener has arrived at TF HQ known only as "Convoy" calling into question whether a crime has been committed. Elsewhere elderly men have begun to disappear from Paul Garfunkel's estate, returning years later with amnesia. A sleep apnoea machine holds a vital clue to uncovering the culprit who may be from Wales, or may indeed be a Whale.    Elsewhere, Art Simon explores the sexuality of snooker and its players in an exclusive report.   Music Credits   There is Romance by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4520-there-is-romance License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/   Zazie" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/      

Aliens excavating the charred remiains of Earth uncover a podcast recording they date to the late 30th Century. Hyper-inflation means that a holiday mishap has serious financial implications for Corination Street's Des Barnes when he picks up the wrong bag at the airport. Retired Premiership footballers are enjoying lucrative careers in adult entertainment, and the Christmas TV schedule has a dark edge. Paul introduces TF fans to his new girlfriend whose former lovers include Charlton Heston and "Bubbles".

The most underwhelming, low-octane episode of Tinned Fruit yet! Paul's trip to Berlin sets a terrifying chain of events in action creating a nightmarish alternative reality.  The boys try to navigate this reality with little wit or guile, finding themselves in a submarine during the Cold War captained by Barry White before attending a drag contest in a chippie. The nightmare get weirder when David Bellamy commits suicide on air in the Blue Peter garden.

Art and Paul are back! It's like they never left! No honestly nobody even noticed.... The new decade gets off to a shaky start with widespread fear of baldness, celebrity bus crashes hanging over the general public. A mystery drug brought off the internet has unexpectedly horrifying side effects. Paul reviews the career of Black Lace and the new Rambo film.... AT LENGTH. 

A supply chain issue and artistic breakdown means that Art and Paul have gone their separate ways. Into the spotlight steps two new hosts, fresh out of "roid rehab" and ready to discuss the utterly non-pertinent issues of the day. In their first foray, Dick finds himself in a late-night clinch with her majesty the queen at a barbecue, while Dennis finds himself a fugitive when a vengeful registrar sets sights on his life.  

The authorities close in on the boys as they unwittingly become embroiled with denim-clad communist militants led by the boyband Blue, and blow the lid off a money laundering ring at their local ASDA.  In Dickensian style, they are visited by a series of phantoms inspiring them to deflect their attention onto the late Roy Orbison in a final thrilling denouement. Blackpool celebrity, raconteur and e-cigarette ambassador Andy Floss makes his inaugural Tinned Fruit appearance, spilling the latest wheeze and sleaze from the Northwest Riviera.

Tinned Fruit's darkest episode yet. The boys encounter murderers defended by crooked antiques dealers, historical dictators, sporting cheats, fighters and killers, culminating in Paul Garfunkel attending a parade of the world's worst people in rural Yorkshire.  Elsewhere the world of Harry Potter is blown wide open by allegations involving Andy Floss's behaviour while starring as an extra in the films. 

Guest directed by Christopher Nolan, starring Christian Bale as troubled broadcaster Art Simon haunted by the ghosts of the past and Dave Bautista as his uncouth bad-tempered nemesis Paul Garfunkel. After getting "mortal" in Newcastle with Christopher Lambert, Paul has to call upon his WWF wrestling knowledge to best an opponent in a bar fight, while Art is forced to join the National Trust as an enforcer to take revenge on a long-haired rake whom his girlfriend met while travelling. The episode also features part II of the widely-acclaimed "The Gibraltar Connection"

Paul's podcast play "The Gibraltar Connection" makes its debut. Meanwhile a series of horoscope predictions made by Russell Grant while playing Maximus in Gladiator has serious repercussions for christianity, the dodo, the coconut industry and Paul Garfunkel, whose new bedding is ruined by an episode of sexual misadventure. Elsewhere, Edinburgh-based sandbox game Red Dead Redemption 2 is reviewed.

Having sent Enya a redacted christmas card for not tipping him, Paul finds himself in hot water when the singer returns years later to exact her ethereal revenge.

A Faustian pact made by Paul- while working at a DIY shop- to become a snooker trivia master backfires as the duo fall foul of the Dark One's diabolical trickery.

The podcast is threatened by Paul's prima donna behaviour. The boys' Canadian trip takes a sinister turn when they are haunted by a presence that has followed Paul back from a budget ghost tour in Edinburgh.

The very first episode of Tinned Fruit sees your anonymous hosts drinking smoothies in a working dogs' club, while fantasising about owning a frozen food empire.