Toddler Purgatory

Do you look in your bank account and wonder where all your money has gone? We asked our listeners for the small ways they save and and budget every month to make money less of a mystery. Molly and Blaire discuss: Blaire's amazing Poshmark selling skills Why it's important to pay yourself first Sinking funds Investing a little bit of time in some of these solutions reaps big rewards budget-wise, so seriously, start eensy teensy tiny. Look in your fridge to see what you need to use up before going to the store. Join Facebook Marketplace or your local "Buy Nothing" group. Budgeting is a muscle that you have to exercise consistently in order to get good at it, so give yourself some grace! Here are all the resources we mentioned in the episode! Here's the original thread in the What Fresh Hell Facebook group Flipp Fetch Rewards Receipt Hog ibotta YNAB (You need a budget) Mint eMeals FB Marketplace or your local "buy nothing" groups Mercari Poshmark Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What does it mean to have "happy motherhood?" And is it even a realistic goal to have, given the ups and downs of being a parent? We asked our listeners about their tips to help new parents have a "happier" first year. Molly and Blaire discuss: The perils of Mom Instagram Ways to make extra room for joy in your early motherhood How to sit in discomfort Managing your expectations was a key theme in the answers we got - so many moms want everything to be perfect, so they are inevitably disappointed when they don't get their twins out the door in matching outfits every single morning! But guess what? No one is perfect, even though it may seem every other mom on Earth has it more together than you. Join our Facebook group for more advice, laughs, and support: www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we get our kids away from screens without breaking the bank or planning elaborate outings? Erica Domesek's new book "P.S. - We Made This!" has plenty of ideas for kids' crafts that require zero shopping, zero traveling, and zero (okay, minimal) stress. Erica Domesek is a social media maven, and an extremely cool + crafty parent! She is the founder of the innovative DIY lifestyle brand P.S.–I Made This, which launched in 2009. She has been a distinguished expert in the areas of design and style as well as a leader in brand marketing for 15 years. PS.–We Made This: Super Fun Crafts that Grow Smarter and Healthier Kids follows in the footsteps of her first two books, offering similarly creative and colorful at-home projects– but now invites the whole family to join in the fun!  Molly, Blaire, and Erica discuss: Being artistic vs. being crafty How to use what you have around the house for crafts rather than buying materials Here's where you can find Erica: https://psimadethis.com/about @psimadethis @abramsbooks Buy Erica's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781419756108 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So is it cool to drop off your kid at his friend's house for a playdate and then go home for an hour and take a nap? No? That's bad playdate etiquette? Ok, just checking. Here are some playdate do's and don'ts for when your little one finds a friend. In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: How playdates help your child develop How to find possible playmates in suburban versus urban areas Good practices for both hosting and visiting someone else's house for a playdate Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Nicole Yezzi for First Things First: "Four things to consider when setting up a playdate" Maureen Ryan for Verywell Family: "Attending or Hosting a Play Date for Toddlers" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Self-care can sound like another chore. Seriously, who has time for a bubble bath? And is that really the best use of 20 free minutes, assuming we had them?  But as Haley Jena points out in this article for What To Expect, self-care isn’t selfish. It's what we need in order to keep going as parents. It's not optional. In this episode, we discuss what definitely doesn’t work for us, what kind of does, and what we’re going to start (like reading actual books and not just our phones).  Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Moira Lawler for Everyday Health: What Is Self-Care and Why Is It So Important To Your Health?  Forbes: Practicing Self-Care Is Important: 10 Easy Habits To Get You Started Haley Jena for What To Expect: 19 Self-Care Ideas for Moms That Aren't Just 'Take a Shower' Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Help a new podcast out! Hit "Follow" or "Subscribe" wherever you listen to Toddler Purgatory! Why are little kids obsessed with the most random things? If your little one has ever insisted on sleeping with a hairbrush, or going to preschool every morning with the same tiny school bus clenched in her fist, you know exactly what we're talking about. Turns out, kids' brains at this age are wired for what psychologists call "extremely intense interests." These obsessions offer dependability; order and control ,in a world where our kids don't have much of either; and even social icebreaking, since that other 3-year-old playing with dinosaurs is probably just as interested in a deep-dive discussion of their many types as your kid is. In the case of construction vehicles and garbage trucks, there's also "cathartic destruction," and who can't use a little of that when they're having a bad day? In this episode, Blaire and Molly discuss their own kids' extremely intense interests and why they make their little ones tick. They also refer to the "Dinosaurs and Trains and Superheroes and Nerf Guns: Boy Obsessions" episode of What Fresh Hell, which you can find here: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/dinosaurs-and-trains-and-superheroes-and-nerf-guns-boy-obsessions/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's easy to blame and shame ourselves when we make parenting mistakes, no matter how big or how small, especially as moms. Here's how to break the blame/shame/guilt cycle for yourself and how to model self-forgiveness for your kids. Molly and Blaire discuss: Santa's naughty kid hotline How to sincerely apologize What our childhood patterns around mistake-making can teach us How you treat yourself after your own mistakes becomes how your kid treats himself when he makes mistakes. And showing honesty and compassion to yourself in front of your kid when you make a mistake can actually build a stronger bond with your child. Links! (they all come in threes today!) Kate Kripke for Postpartum Women's Center of Boulder: "3 Steps That Turn Your Mistakes in Motherhood into Wins" Lisa Appelo for iMom: "3 Steps When You Make Mom Mistakes" Brandi Michel for MomLifeHappyLife blog: "3 Things To Do Immediately After a Making a Major Mommy Mistake!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, Blaire and Molly pal around with their comedian friends Kate Zelensky and Cody Lindquist. They exchange knock-knock jokes, lament about times they bombed with their kids, and discuss a certain compelling performance of "Memory." Kate Zelensky started a career in comedy in 2006 at The Upright Citizens Brigade having finally figured out that she wasn’t so good at musical theatre (though Molly disagrees, as we discuss in the episode!). Kate taught, performed, wrote and directed all around that joint for a dozen years. She dabbled in TV and Internet humor content but is best known for a Chuck E. Cheese commercial in which she played a mother of two pre teens - one of whom barfed pepperoni pizza all over the place because he refused to use the spit bucket. Kate got married and had two babies and now works full time as a vending machine for them.  Cody Lindquist is an actress, voiceover actress, and comedian. She is the co-host of the podcast Two Beers In: A Tipsy Political Roundtable and the mom of two tiny New Yorkers.  Links to resources mentioned in the episode: Dru Sefton for The Washington Post: "How Families Share a Sense of Humor" Kate's heart-wrenching rendition of "Memory" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sharing is caring, right? We were all raised to believe that sharing is an important part of polite social interactions. But as adults, we would be taken aback if abruptly asked to share something we were using, like our phone. So why do we insist that our kids share toys with complete strangers at a moment's notice? Here's when– and why– it's ok NOT to share. Molly and Blaire discuss: The difference between making kids share and encouraging them to share What forced sharing teaches kids What to say to turn-giving kids and to waiting kids when encouraging sharing Role-playing with your child to practice polite yet assertive behavior is a great way to start the conversation about when and why it's appropriate to share. Links! Positive Parenting Solutions: "It's OK Not to Share" Heather Shumaker's book It’s OK NOT to share…and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids Positive Parenting Solutions: "Why a Feelings Wheel Supports Your Positive Parenting Journey" Little Timer app Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We asked the #todpurgs listeners: what are the things your parents said that you SWORE you'd never say to your own kids– and yet still do? You all brought the answers... and here are some of our faves. #parentingonrepeat #YouGotMcDonaldsMoney Here is the link to the article Molly and Blaire reference in the episode: Charlotte Hilton Andersen for Redbook Magazine: "21 Things Parents Used to Say That Would Shock Millennial Parents" Special thanks to our sponsors: Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info. Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.   KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Any one who has had a toddler knows the terror that surfaces whenever a lovey (let's say Mr. Bunny) goes missing. About 60% of babies adopt some sort of transitional object at around 9 months old. This is when little ones start to separate from parents (and, in fact, when they begin to understand that their parent is a separate person). Once a kid bonds with "Mr. Bunny", you may worry they'll be taking him to college. But there are ways to gently wean your child off comfort items in time. In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: Why comfort items are a sign of healthy growth How to start the weaning process Why there will be ups and downs as kids learn to live without their comfort items Here are links to some of the resources referenced in this episode: Alice Allan for La Leche League International: "Comfort Items and Attachment Parenting" Lindsey Konkel for What to Expect: Why Do Some Babies Need Comfort Items (Or "Transitional Objects")? Marnell Jameson for Parents.com: "6 Tips for Weaning Your Child's Comfort Object" Special thanks to our sponsors: Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info. Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.   KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We asked our listeners what they would pay good money for if it made their lives just a touch easier. The answers....will probably not surprise you. In this episode, Molly and Blaire plot to patent: Self-buckling seatbelts Eyeball cameras Toddler volume buttons Thanks to everyone who wrote in with their excellent ideas for these inventions! Special thanks to our sponsors: Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info. Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.   KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you're enjoying listening to Toddler Purgatory, we'd love for you to take our listener survey. One page, two minutes. We promise! http://bit.ly/ToddlerPurgatorySurvey “Making memories” with our kids is always a fraught proposition, but when they’re checking for the elf every morning and whipped into a general holiday frenzy, the tears and tantrums are often pretty close to the surface.  Child specialist Merete Kropp says we can reset the “gimme gimmes” by teaching our kids that giving and receiving are reciprocal actions. By explain the gifts you’re giving to others, and the intentions behind them, kids can focus more on the joy of giving than their own expectations. At least sometimes.  It’s always worth doing what we can to soften into the joys of karaoke Christmas carols and driving around looking at the lights. When we create memories with our children, the true gifts we are giving them are the tools to become who they are. There is so much fun and joy in the surrender of being just a little bit silly. Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Merete Kropp for Washington Post On Parenting: What children need even more than presents this holiday season Samantha Parent Walravens for HuffPost: 8 Ways To Teach Your Kids An Attitude Of Gratitude This Holiday Season @busytoddler on Instagram Special thanks to our sponsors: Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info. Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.   KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why is it that kids are so darn honest? Turns out the "filter" that the rest of us try to apply to our everyday interactions just doesn't exist in our young ones. Their little brains aren't capable of fabricating lies like older kids and adults. And, as we all know, the constant honesty of little kids is a double-edged sword. Listeners wrote in with some of the most ruthless truths their toddlers have voiced, and man oh man, kids really can be frank! In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: How little toddler brains are wired for truth How to model honesty for kids 'Good and bad' versus 'truth and lies' Here are some of the resources mentioned in today's episode: Lizzy Francis for Fatherly: "How to Raise an Honest Kid (But Not a Narc)" Brook Bolen for Vice: "Behind the Brutal Honesty of Drunks and Toddlers" Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info. Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.   KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mom tribes and parent posses: do we need friends who are also fellow parents? If we don’t have a group of those, how do we set about finding or creating one?  70% of moms agree that their “inner mom circle” is their primary means of daily support. Some of us find that soft place to fall really quickly, and some of us struggle, for reasons that are in and/or out of our control.  In this episode we discuss how to create our own mom tribe– or parent posse– and what expanding our friend circle beyond just female parents can bring our own bumpy experiences finding mom friends, and why it was hard at first how the pandemic has made it harder how text and Facebook connections can be really helpful too Speaking of virtual mom groups and parent posses– join us in the What Fresh Hell Facebook group! and tag us: #toddlerpurgatory Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Dr. Sarah Blaffer Hrdy: Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding Coffee and Carpool: 10 Easy Steps For Introverts To Find New Mom Friends  Jenna Autuori Dedic for Parents: How to Make New Mom Friends During the Pandemic Special thanks to our sponsors: Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info. Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.   KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are we creating unrealistic expectations when we praise our kid just for waking up in the morning? Turns out there is too much of a good thing, but we can also reframe how, when, and why we praise our kids. Molly and Blaire discuss: Praising process over achievements The three s's of praise Praise inflation Kids can sense when praise isn't genuine. Instead of congratulating them on their every action and creating an unrealistic standard for praise in the future, focus on encouragement without value judgement or "I" statements. Links! Paul L. Underwood for The New York Times: "Are You Overpraising Your Child?" Ashley Cullins for Big Life Journal: "The Ultimate Guide to Praising Your Kids" Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info. Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.   KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we protect our kids from negative images about bodies, diet culture, and food without locking them in a Rapunzel tower? The truth is, we can't. But we CAN start nonjudgmental conversations about body positivity, food, and and self-esteem with our kids at home. In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: how to pay attention to your thoughts and beliefs around food and body image how to praise your child for things other than their appearance the R.E.A.L. acronym Links to the resources mentioned in the episode: Sumner Brooks for Good Housekeeping: "How to Raise a Kid Who Is Satisfied With Their Body, According to a Registered Dietitian" Carolina Public Health Magazine: "Survey finds disordered eating behaviors among three out of four American women" Bodies are Cool by Tyler Feder Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info. Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.   KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why are kids so weird about washing hands and brushing teeth and taking baths? How often do kids really need to bathe, anyway? Is hygiene a battle worth fighting? Yes. Sometimes. In this episode we discuss the expert advice on how often kids need to get clean, plus our own tips for making it fun or interesting enough that our kids will go along with it. Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Susan Stiffelman for HuffPost: My 5-Year-Old Won’t Wash His Hands! What To Expect: Resisting Bathtime Dr. Claire McCarthy for Harvard Health: Does your child need to bathe every day? Colgate: How To Help a Child Who Won’t Brush Their Teeth Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info. Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.   KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When we hear our kids say something negative about themselves, sometimes we freak out a little. Where did they hear this? Where is this coming from? Who is messing with my baby? ! Most often, if a kid calls herself “stupid” because she’s frustrated with homework, she might just be venting. Or joking. She might be showing us that she has a little rigidity around perfection.  But when negative self-talk is insistent, consistent, and persistent, it can also be a sign of stress or anxiety.  In this episode we discuss how to better understand our kids’ negative self-talk, and the most productive ways of responding. There’s a bonus: turns out most of those strategies also work for our own “No, are you kidding? I look horrible, the pandemic has aged me a decade!” moments. Here are links to two resources we discuss in this episode:  Andrew M.I. Lee for Understood: Why Kids Say Negative Things About Themselves  https://www.understood.org/articles/en/child-negative-self-talk @transformingtoddlerhood on Instagram Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info. Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.   KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If only it were as simple as singing "Kumbaya" with our kids in a calming circle and sprinkling them with kindness dust to make them sweet, polite angels. You may never receive handmade flower crowns from your toddler, but there are ways to introduce kind thoughts, feelings, and actions into your home. Molly and Blaire discuss: Why you can't "teach" kindness How kindness begins with our own self-reflection Strategies for bringing more kindness into your home Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Claire Lerner of Lerner Child Development: "When Kids Act Mean: Why some kids have trouble being kind and what you can do" From Janet Lansbury's podcast Unruffled: "My Child Is So Mean to Me" Sarah Aadland for Motherly: "Raising kind kids: 9 daily habits to teach kids kindness" Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info. Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.   KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sometimes little kids lack the ability to express their frustration, fear, and anger in words. That’s usually when they decide to whack the other 3-year-old with the toy dump truck, instead of pleasantly sharing.  Experts say aggression often gets a little better once kids can express themselves verbally– although not always, if what goes on in our houses is any indication.  In this episode we discuss how to handle our kids becoming aggressive when we’re there to witness it, when we’re *not* there to witness it (like at preschool), and what clear, consistent messaging we need to model to move things in a more peaceful direction.  Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Emily Fromm and Nicole Harris for Parents: How to Handle Aggressive Toddler Behavior Emily Edlynn, Ph.D for Parents: My Child Won't Stop Hitting Other Children at Daycare Laura Markham for Psychology Today: 10 Steps to Stop Your Child from Hitting Other Kids Special thanks to this month's sponsors: The Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wine and cheese at the playground? Naps outside? Recess every hour? There are a lot of intriguing child-rearing strategies from all over the world, some that to us Am-urr-icans seem like common sense, and some that seem a little more out-of-the-box... Molly and Blaire discuss: Blaire's travels to England Outside naps in Nordic countries Déjeuner à la France Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Marco Chown Oved for the Toronto Star: "Mothers love differently around the world" Amy Morin for VeryWell Family: "11 Parenting Styles From Around the World" Sharon Jayson for USA Today: "American moms creating a parenting melting pot" What Fresh Hell's Fresh Take with Michaeleen Doucleff on Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans Our Facebook group Leave us a voicemail on our site Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you feel overwhelmed when you're parenting solo, even if it's just for a few days? You're not alone. Solo parenting (not to be confused with single parenting) is tough, but there are small ways you can make a big impact on the experience, bringing down your blood pressure and your DEFCON level at the same time. Blaire and Molly discuss: The difference between a solo parent and a single parent Ways to prep for solo parenting ahead of time Conversations to have with your partner to make the experience better Links! Marika Lindholm for Medium: "What’s a Solo Mom?" Anisha Nair for First Cry Parenting: "10 Tips to Make Solo Parenting Easier" Claire Zulkey for The New York Times: "How Parents Who Travel for Work Can Ease the Burden on Their Families" What Fresh Hell episode: "Is It Sometimes Easier When Our Spouses Aren't Around?" "Unholy" by Sam Smith and Kim Petras Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kids today only spend half as much time playing outside as we did. It can be a hassle to get them bundled up and to the playground on a drizzly spring afternoon– or to clean half the floors in your house after a trip to your own snowy backyard. But there are many skills that kids gain both from self-directed and “purposeful play,” and experts say that's particularly true when that play happens outdoors. Our guest Meghan Fitzgerald is the co-founder of Tinkergarten, which offers purposeful play opportunities for children and families that gets them away from screens and outdoors together in nature. Meghan tells us her favorite get-them-outside activities, and why even the coldest or rainiest days offer rewards that really are worth bundling everyone up.  Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/04/parenting/kids-winter-play-outside.html https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/parenting/viking-parenting-childhood-risk-fresh-air-mental-health/?fbclid=IwAR2sM-84dC7xYVEmyMLjKG7ijFQCm2QiIQOr1AZoPJpDTfFZm-mXVeRG2No https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/6-reasons-children-need-to-play-outside-2018052213880 And our episode "Danger Babies": https://www.toddlerpurgatory.com/danger-babies-why-are-some-kids-such-risk-takers/ Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nobody tells you that the four-day potty training plan might take 6 weeks. Or that you should always have crayons and paper in the diaper bag. This episode is full of boredom busters, potty training tips, and all the best stuff somebody really should have told us ahead of time! Got a topic idea or a question you'd like to hear on the podcast? Leave us an email on our website: https://www.toddlerpurgatory.com/contact/ Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Babies are mysterious creatures, which is why Molly and Blaire took to the What Fresh Hell Facebook group to ask: "What is something you wish someone had told you before having a baby?" From how long it can take to get pregnant, to the likelihood your little one will love carrots for a year before turning on them for no apparent reason, laugh along as Toddler Purgatory gets to the bottom of all the things nobody ever told us before we had kids. Please "follow" or "subscribe" us wherever you listen so you never miss an episode! Find all the places you can listen on toddlerpurgatory.com. Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kids are bananas. Some particularly so. But why are some kids seemingly born to scale the kitchen cabinets before they can walk? And are there are any future upsides to having been a “danger baby”?  In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss the many benefits of “free play,” the differences between danger and risk, how we can teach our little ones to be safely courageous, and what child development specialist Rebecca Weingarten calls “constructive failure.” Here are links to some of the writing on the topic and other things discussed in this episode:  https://health.usnews.com/wellness/for-parents/articles/2017-05-11/9-ways-to-cultivate-courage-in-kids https://www.todaysparent.com/kids/kids-health/why-our-kids-should-take-risks-sometimes-even-slightly-dangerous-ones/ Shakira’s song “Waka Waka (This Time for Africa)” https://youtu.be/pRpeEdMmmQ0 Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When did kids' birthday parties become such a big to-do? Why do we celebrate birthdays in the first place? What sound does a clown make? Blaire's and Molly's sons are both turning six within five days of each other, so listen in as they party plan and take a trip down memory lane about their own birthdays growing up. Blaire and Molly discuss: Memorable birthdays from their childhoods The average price of a modern kid's birthday party How to plan a kid's birthday party Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Joe Pinsker for The Atlantic: "The Strange Origins of American Birthday Celebrations" Megan Cooley for The Spruce: "How to Plan a Kid's Birthday Party: The Ultimate Timeline" Julie Hoag: "7 Tips to Survive Hosting a Kids Birthday Party" Crystal Ponti for Filter Free Parents: "This Is Why None Of Us Really Love Kids’ Birthday Parties" Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does your child consistently wake you up in the middle of the night because they're deathly afraid of the dark or the monsters under the bed? You may think that chasing "the monster" away or just leaving the lights on are the right course of action, but it's actually more complicated than that. Molly and Blaire discuss: Why so many people (adults and kids!) are scared of the dark The true secret to banishing your child's fears Why horror movies are actually soothing (for some of us) The most important thing you can do is validate your child's fear without shaming or judging them. Explain that you have your own fears, and start an open conversation about the root causes of their fears in order to address them. Links! Daryl Austin for USA Today: "More Americans than ever are afraid of the dark, experts say. Here's why." Nama Winston for ABC Everyday: "I've made my child afraid of the dark. How do I fix it?" Parenting.com: "Ask Dr. Sears: Mashing Monster Fears" "Bedtime Stories - Superheroes!" podcast Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're all ready to go All The Places after being stuck at home for so long, but traveling with little ones presents a few layers of challenge. How far in a day is too far? Does visiting family count as a "vacation"? What's the right age for Disney World? If the kids are happy at the indoor hotel pool, and you never get to the sightseeing, do you still win Parent of the Year for remembering the swim diapers? We discuss everything about vacationing with littles with guest Julia Edelstein, the editor-in-chief of Parents. Julia began her career at Time Out New York Kids, then served as health editor at places like Good Housekeeping and Real Simple before stepping into her current role leading America's most influential media brand for parents. She's also the mom of two boys, ages 6 and 4. We discuss this article in this episode: Jamie Hergenrader for TripSavvy: 2021 Trend Report Shows a Rise in Family Travel and the "Flexcation" Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we talk to our kids about things we ourselves don't even fully understand? Some of the most difficult topics to discuss with kids are sex, death, illness, divorce, and natural disasters or tragedies. Molly and Blaire give recommendations for taking care of yourself, guiding the conversation, and avoiding euphemisms or metaphors that may be more harmful than helpful. Molly and Blaire discuss: Ways to frame death for kids What age to start tough conversations How to discuss tragedies in a nonjudgmental way Here are links to some of the resources referenced in the episode: Dr. Steven J. Berkowitz for the Child Mind Institute: "What Makes an Event Traumatic for a Child?" Lisa Milbrand for Parents.com: "A Step-By-Step Guide to Talking to Kids About Death and Grief" American Psychological Association: "How to talk to children about difficult news" Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Listener Amy had this question for us in our Facebook group: My daughter is turning three in one week and her nearly overnight transition to mob boss terrorist monster is complete. It would help to hear from other parents that this is normal and maybe one day she will be my sweet baby again? Or just not a mob boss terrorist at least?? Three ages enter. Only one emerges. Is it the terrible twos that are the absolute worst age to parent? Threenagers? Fournadoes? Will we ever get our sweet unicorn babies back from the depths of toddler purgatory? There is something on the other side of this, right? In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: What is happening biologically at ages two, three, and four Activities to do with your toddler to ease tension Why you ain't seen nothin' yet Here links to some of the resources mentioned in our episode: Jay L. Hoecker for the Mayo Clinic: "Why Are Two-Year-Olds So Difficult?" Caroline Shannon-Karasik for Romper: "Here's Why Threenagers Are A (Frustrating, Totally Lovable) Thing" Zero to Three: "Toddlers and Challenging Behavior: Why They Do It and How to Respond" Special thanks to this month's sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we form a strong bond with our kids when we're struggling with our own issues, when we've just been through a worldwide pandemic, when we used to have that bond but have lost it somewhere along the way? It's not easy, but there are some tried-and-true methods *ahem, therapy* for forming or reforming a close bond with your child. Molly and Blaire discuss: Things that can get in the way of the parent-child bond Small yet meaningful ways to communicate to your child that you love them What asking for help may look like for different people Resist the urge to blame yourself if you feel your bond is suffering or has deteriorated. There are many factors that contribute to the problem that are outside your control. Links! Ella Glover for Metro UK: "Asking For A Friend: Why can’t I bond with my child?" PsychCentral: "Tips to Heal After Growing Up with a Dismissive Mother" PsychCentral: "4 Habits that Disconnect You from Your Kids" Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do we do when our kid lies to our face? At a certain age, kids start discovering that they can just, well, not tell the truth about things. This can range from innocent fibs to whopping lies of grandiose proportions. Though this be mini madness, there is mini method in it. Molly and Blaire discuss: The various reasons kids lie How to gently approach your kid about their lies When it may be time to seek professional help for your kid Doing "truth checks" with your kid is a great way to encourage them to be honest with you without making them feel as if they've been caught with their hand in the proverbial (or literal) cookie jar. Links! Beth Arky for Child Mind Institute: "Why Kids Lie and What Parents Can Do About It" Connie Chang for The Washington Post: "All kids lie: How to handle it, and when you should worry" Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your child learning values or lessons at school that are not in line with your own? Do they discipline in a way that you don't agree with? It's not unusual for teachers and parents to butt heads over a child's learning. Here's how to address the problem without coming in too hot. Blaire and Molly discuss: The importance of finding (and staying) calm before starting a discussion How to find common ground with your child's teacher Constructive methods for finding a solution together Coming in with facts, not feelings, is key. When our kids are involved, it's easy to get emotional and heavily invested in a situation. But it's important to remember that both you and your child's teacher want what's best for your kid. Links! Sherri Gordon for Verywell Family: "What to Do If You Disagree With Your Child's Teacher" Lisa Van Gemert: "6 Steps to Take When School Isn’t Meeting the Needs of Your Child" Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Regression is what happens when a child revisits an earlier stage of his or her development– and behaves accordingly. Paradoxically, regression can happen right after a child makes a developmental leap or meets a new milestone. Dr. Tovah Klein, director of the Barnard College Center for Toddler Development, suggests that regression is a manifestation of the constant push-and-pull little kids feel between the need for dependence and the desire for independence. But how are parents supposed to react? Are we supposed to let them start dragging their blankie to pre-K? Is pushback totally required or a terrible idea? In this episode, we discuss what works to discourage the regressive behavior, how to know when to just allow or ignore it, and how to do with our own stress that yes, actually our child will be the first person in history to walk down the aisle at college graduation still using a pacifier.  Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Caroline Vollans for Nursery World: An Essential Guide To Regression Melinda Wenner Moyer for the New York Times: Wait, I Thought You Had Outgrown This Unity Point: Regressive Behavior: Signs of Child Regression & What to Do Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transitions are hard for little kids, and it’s not hard to see why: they usually move a kid from something that they’re absorbed in and enjoying to something a lot less interesting and fun. In this episode we talk about how to deal with the meltdowns, talking back, and general resistance around transitions, and how to make those moments easier, whether it’s a “big picture” transition like starting school, or just time to leave the playground. We talk about Claire Lerner’s excellent advice in this episode– check out What Fresh Hell’s recent interview with Claire: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/claire-lerner And here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Dyan Robson for the CBC: How To Help Kids Who Struggle With Daily Transitions Claire Lerner for PBS Kids: How to Help Your Child Successfully Transition Back to School Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Studies indicate that up to 50% of children experience a sleep problem. When babies and kids don't sleep moms don't sleep either– so this week we're talking to a sleep expert! Becca Campbell is the founder and creator of Little Z’s® Sleep Consulting , where parents can easily get sleep help through online courses for children ages 0-5 years old. Becca's courses and her Little Z's Sleep Podcast have helped thousands of families around the world make sleep a thing. In this episode Becca brings the knowledge on the four types of newborns how sleep schedules should change a little bit every month during your child's first year of life the right age to drop the naps for good when kids can successfully share a room (and sleep at night) what "overtired" looks like in a toddler what to do when your kid naps at daycare, and then isn't tired at bedtime Doing the extra work around sleep is worth it in the long run– and Becca is full of terrific advice. Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mom guilt. Mom rage. Shame. We feel the things. Then we feel bad about feeling the things. Which doesn't help us feel any better. In this episode we discuss how to acknowledge, anticipate, sit with, process, and redirect these feelings, without beating ourselves up for having felt them in the first place. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Pooja Lakshmin for The New York Times: Saying No Is Self-Care For Parents Motherly: Mom Rage is Real-and it's a sign that mother's needs aren't being met  Lauren Smith Brody for Today's Parent: Why mom guilt is the biggest lie of all Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you have more than one kid, you are pretty familiar with sibling rivalry. The constant squabbling can drive us nuts, but it’s important to remember that it’s less about whatever toy they’re fighting over at the moment than about birth order, family dynamics, and their competing desires for our attention. We can’t stop the bickering forever, but there are ways to minimize conflict and maximize productive resolution. We discuss the best ways to set our kids up for success.  Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Cleveland Clinic Health Essentials: 10 Tips For Dealing With Sibling Rivalry Ask Dr. Sears: Sibling Rivalry: 20 Tips to Stop the Friction Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER. Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The list of typical parenting fears is longer than a CVS receipt, and for us, researching this episode didn’t exactly make that list shorter. Turns out there are big picture, hypothetical fears, most common before the baby actually arrives; there are societally imposed, nightly-news sort of fears; and for most of us, a few more “I know this sounds crazy but” fears, which we have made up all on our own.  It’s hard not to want to bubble wrap our kids until college… but since there are probably some negative side effects to that as well, in this episode we discuss how to manage our relationships with some of the most common parenting fears. Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Connie Mattiessen for BabyCenter: Top 5 parenting fears and what you can do about them Paul Donahue: Parenting Without Fear: Letting Go of Worry and Focusing on What Really Matters Dr. Minne Fekkes et al: Effects of Antibullying School Program on Bullying and Health Complaints Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why are parents so tired all the time? Perhaps it’s the whole not sleeping thing. But a recent study on maternal exhaustion found that perfectionism is also a huge factor. In other words, we run ourselves ragged making things nice for our loved ones, and then are too exhausted to enjoy those things ourselves.  In this episode, we talk about how our exhaustion affects our parenting, how the pandemic has made it all even harder, and what we’re trying in order to get just a little more rest.  Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Dr. Sarah Hubert et al: Parental Burnout: When Exhausted Mothers Open Up Gabriela Garcia for The Every Mom: 5 Ways To Fight Mom Fatigue @kids.eat.in.color on Instagram Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you have a kid who insists that a sandwich is inedible unless it is cut in half instead on the diagonal? A child who won't allow you to sing in the car? A little one who insists that every truck that is not a pickup truck must be deemed a "regular truck"? If so, you have labored under the strict dictatorship of Little Kid Rules. On this episode Blaire and Molly dive in to why little kids have such strong rules, why they expect adults to follow them, and which members of the What Fresh Hell Facebook Group are currently toiling under some very specific dictates from their tiny bosses! Articles Cited: Claire Lerner on Getting Kids to Be Flexible Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A good morning starts with a good night before. Kids who are well-rested tend to have an easier morning the next day. Any prep we can do the night before– laying out clothes, prepping breakfast and lunches in advance– can help make the morning routing less chaotic. The morning routine also brings us back to the classic parenting rule "Put your own oxygen mask on first." If you can take even a little time for yourself while you let your kids play in the morning, it can help you face the rest of your day, and your kids, in a better headspace. On busy mornings, consider turning off the tech once everyone is up. Fighting over when it's time to turn off screens and get ready can add conflict to a situation that's already chaotic. But we say do what works for you and your family. Don't try to completely revamp your morning routine all at once. Start small with one change, like taking a shower before the kids wake up or making a protein-rich breakfast for the whole family. Don't try to make everything perfect right away. Not every morning will be smooth sailing, but small changes can make a big difference in making your mornings just a little less stressful. Articles cited in this episode: The Self-Aware Parent: Resolving Conflict and Building a Better Bond with Your Child (featuring Dr. Jerry Bubrick of the Child Mind Institute) Busy Toddler This Simple Balance Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you have little ones, you end up with a mountain of stuff you probably didn't need to buy– and a few things that are total sanity-savers. In this episode we're talking about all the stuff that got us through, and still is! Most of these are to help us take care of the kids. A few of them are just for us. Here's a list of all the must-haves we discuss.... If your podcast app doesn't support clickable links, you can also find this list on our website: https://www.toddlerpurgatory.com/things-we-cant-live-without. Blaire & Molly’s Suggestions: Boppy Nursing Pillow https://amzn.to/2XEGIrI Oxo Wipe Dispenser https://amzn.to/3nKkfnU Utility Cart https://amzn.to/3CshR9D Inglesina Fast Table Chair https://amzn.to/3CshR9D Baby Brezza Formula Dispenser https://amzn.to/2XBhpH1 Baby Merlin Sleep Suit https://amzn.to/3zkcpU0 SwaddleMe Swaddle https://amzn.to/39daMgo Keekaroo Changer https://amzn.to/3lwXdOM Boon Countertop Drying Rack https://amzn.to/2VVdQec Yeti Coffee Tumbler https://amzn.to/3kjJCuM WildBird Ring Sling Carrier https://amzn.to/3zjL4l0 Disposable Placemats https://amzn.to/3klyaPk Boudreaux’s Butt Paste https://amzn.to/3zt4TGB Frida Nose Sucker https://amzn.to/3kpHv8D Listener Suggestions: Yeti Rambler https://amzn.to/3zsp5Iu Thermos Funtainer https://amzn.to/3km7HRA Fillable Baby Spoons https://amzn.to/3zpzsx0 Hatch Clock https://amzn.to/3krXd3g Sleek Socket Outlet Protector https://amzn.to/3tVBbJ3 Kindle Fire for Kids https://amzn.to/3nPnydv Eufy Security Camera https://amzn.to/3AvjLFJ Magnatiles https://amzn.to/39kpQZN As an Amazon Associate, Toddler Purgatory may earn affiliate income from qualifying purchases. Special thanks to our sponsors: Stellar Eats creates healthy treats with delicious flavor and perfect texture using 8 (or fewer) real food ingredients because we want you to enjoy your favorite foods and feel amazing. To get 20% off your next order, use promo code TODDLER20 at StellarEats.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our child has finally realized they are separate from us. Yay! Aaaaaand cue the separation anxiety. The fact that separation anxiety signals growth in kids doesn't make it any easier for mother or child. But there are coping strategies on both sides that can ease some of the pain. In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: What separation anxiety looks like in different ages (and in moms) The tend-and-befriend theory How to tell normal separation anxiety from a disorder Links to resources mentioned in the episode: Wendy Sue Swanson for healthychildren.org: "How to Ease Your Child’s Separation Anxiety" Scott Edwards and Emily Rizzitano for Boston Children's Hospital: "Helping your child cope with separation anxiety" Ashurina Ream for Psyched Mommy: "7 Tips to Manage Maternal Separation Anxiety" "Grownups Come Back" a song about separation anxiety from Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood on PBS Kids Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How young is too young to drive your kid three states away for a lacrosse tournament? Is it 5? (Yes, yes it is.) It's tempting to use sports to teach our kids valuable lessons, tire them out, and groom them for the Olympics. But sports for young kids are intrinsically valuable, even without structure, competition, or score keeping. And why would you want your kids to grow up to make millions of dollars a year playing baseball when they could be actors, anyway? In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: How sports both help and hurt young kids How to instill a love of sports in kids, minus unhealthy competition mindsets How to incorporate all kinds of fun activities into kids' schedules Here are the links to some of the resources mentioned in the show: Patty Onderko for parenting.com: "Toddler Sports" Kelly Wallace for CNN: "How to make your kid hate sports without really trying" Spooky Nook Sports: "How To Get Kids Interested In Sports - Best Sports For Kids" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sometimes we wish we could just get away from it all. Is that wrong? We love our families! Even with that love in our hearts, it's tempting to yearn for a room of one's own with a solid, soundproof door. We asked our listeners what they would do with one entire week off, and for many of them it involved a lot of TV, snacks, and, in some cases, the cast of Queer Eye. In this episode. Molly and Blaire discuss: What the advent of the word "momcation" signals Why moms are pressured to be perfect What THEY would do with their own week off! Here are the links to the articles we discuss in the episode: TIME Magazine: "Moms: Your Fantasy About Running Away Is Totally Normal" Caitlin Gibson for The Washington Post: "American mothers need a break. But is the ‘momcation’ a solution to their problems or a symptom?" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Happy Father's Day! This episode, Molly and Blaire talk to their respective dads, Dick and Chuck, about their experiences as fathers and everything they've learned along the way. In this episode, Molly, Blaire, Dick, and Chuck discuss: Differences in parenting across generations What they would tell their past selves Raising foster children How to properly make gin and tonics Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When we see parents absolutely losing it at their children– and maybe even laying hands on them–are we obligated to act? Prevent Child Abuse America is clear that if you see something, you say something. The harder part is knowing what it is we've seen. We don't always know whether we're witnessing a regrettable but isolated incident or something that’s part of a pattern. We want to make sure we're not making that child less safe by publicly calling the parent out.  And knowing that actually making a phone call to enlist the police or CPS might trigger a series of events that can separate parent and child, we want to be “very confident,” as philosophy professor Kwame Appiah explains, “that such recourse is justified.”  In this episode we discuss how we've handled these moments in our own lives– and going forward, how we'll discern when need to speak up, with the knowledge of how to defuse the situation rather than further inflame it. If you feel a child is in real/imminent danger, please call 1-800-4-A-CHILD. We discuss this article in this episode: Christopher Mele for The New York Times: Should You Intervene When a Parent Harshly Disciplines a Child in Public? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices