True Lovefraud Stories

Yes, women absolutely can have exploitative personality disorders, although the symptoms manifest differently than they do in men. Amber Ault, Ph.D., a sociologist and licensed clinical social worker, describes the manipulative behavior of female sociopaths — they tend to engage in less physical violence, and more emotional or psychological violence. Amber explains why this is so shocking to their victims, both male and female. She also offers great tips on avoiding toxic relationships and finding healthy ones. More information Listen to the podcast Amber Ault refers to: Seduced and scammed by a female sociopath. More information about Amber Ault, Ph.D.: Amberault.com Resources 5 Step Exit webinars For survivors: The Five Step Exit: Tools you need to leave a psychopath, narcissist or other toxic partner For therapists: The Five Step Exit: Tools you need to help clients leave a psychopath, narcissist or other toxic partner Books by Amber Ault The Wise Lesbian Guide to Getting Free from Crazy-Making Relationships & Getting on with Your Life The Five Step Exit: Skills You Need to Leave a Narcissist, Psychopath or Other Toxic Partner and Recover Your Happiness Now To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also reach out to Donna Andersen for advice on dealing with narcissists and sociopaths, and help in your recovery, by clicking lovefraud.com/talk-to-donna

As a social worker, “Emma” was trained in psychology, mental health and personality disorders. Still, she had blind spots when it came to her personal life. Even though she had misgivings about her new girlfriend, “Taylor,” she ignored her moral compass. In the end, the relationship cost Emma her job, her home, almost all her possessions, and her very sense of self. Female sociopaths, she learned, are masters of seduction. To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. Donna Andersen, host of True Lovefraud Stories, helps you in your recovery through EFT tapping, reiki and guided mindfulness. Contact her at lovefraud.com/talk-to-donna

Narcissists have a reputation for being entitled, attention-seeking blowhards, and most of them are. A subset of narcissists, however, believe they are just as entitled to whatever they want but display it differently. In this episode, Dr. Marni Feuerman explains “covert narcissists” — people who use more subtle strategies as they manipulate others. She discusses how this disordered behavior affects their romantic partners and what you should do if you suspect you have a narcissist in your life, whether overt or covert. Listen to the podcast Dr. Marni Feuerman refers to in this episode, in which Katherine tells her story: “He pitted all of us women against each other.” For more information about Dr. Marni Feuerman and her services, visit TheTalkingSolution.com. For Dr. Marni Feuerman’s digital resources and online courses, visit DrMarniOnliine.com. To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also reach out to Donna Andersen for advice on dealing with narcissists and sociopaths, and help in your recovery, by clicking lovefraud.com/talk-to-donna

“Katherine” thought she was in a relationship with “Jay,” but now she describes it as a “situationship.” Or a “manipulationship.” Jay was a personal trainer at her gym. He eased her into a sexual liaison, which he insisted must be kept secret or he’d lose his job. It went on for two years. Then when Katherine learned the real reason why he wanted to keep secrets, she was devastated. To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also reach out to Donna Andersen for advice on how to recover from your personal experience with a disordered individual by clicking lovefraud.com/talk-to-donna

Growing up with a self-centered, indifferent or neglectful mother is more than psychologically damaging. Kate Munden, an integrative therapist from the UK, explains that this treatment is actually narcissistic abuse, and it affects a child’s personality development and nervous system. But, Kate says, it is possible to slowly, gently, unwind the damage as an adult and move forward to a full and happy life. She offers strategies on how to do it. Listen to the podcast Kate Munden refers to in this episode, in which Charlotte tells her story: “I could have been my mother’s third victim.” For more information about Kate Munden and her services, visit KateMunden.com To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also reach out to Donna Andersen for advice on how to recover from your personal experience with a disordered individual by clicking lovefraud.com/talk-to-donna

Mom was always cold, indifferent and critical. At a fairly young age, “Charlotte,” her daughter, figured out that the woman was not a good mother. But after two family tragedies, Charlotte saw that her mother wasn’t just mean, she was evil. And then she realized the effect of her mother’s disorder on her own life. To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also make an appointment with Donna Andersen, for advice on how to recover from your personal experience with a disordered individual.  If you would like to share your story for a possible podcast episode, please visit the Lovefraud survey.

Many people who endure narcissistic abuse end up trauma bonded to their abuser. Psychologist Carla Shohet explains that this is a psychological and physiological bond — literally an addiction. Recovery requires more than talk therapy, she says. Traumatic memories and mistaken beliefs become trapped in the body, and they need to be gently removed from the body. Carla describes several methods that she uses to do it. Listen to the podcast Carla Shohet refers to in this episode: The trauma bond is so real and so strong For more information about Carla Shohet and her services, visit CarlaShohet.com To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also make an appointment with Donna Andersen, for advice on how to recover from your personal experience with a disordered individual.  If you would like to share your story for a possible podcast episode, please visit the Lovefraud survey.

“Sarah” had a history of abusive relationships. “Tim” seemed so different —he was a handsome, high-ranking military officer who was soft spoken, attentive and caring. But slowly he became controlling and violent. Sarah was so trauma bonded that even though she knew Tim was dangerous, she couldn’t leave. “I couldn’t live with him and I couldn’t live without him,” she said.

What’s it really like to be involved with a sociopath, narcissist or psychopath? I'm Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com, and this podcast answers that question. In these riveting podcasts, people who were unknowingly targeted by con artists of love describe how they were seduced, deceived and ultimately betrayed.  They’re sharing their stories so you can learn the warning signs of pathological manipulation that they missed, and avoid an encounter with an emotional predator. If you’ve already been targeted, these stories let you know that you’re certainly not alone. They offer you hope that escape, recovery and happiness after the ordeal are possible.

In a recent True Lovefraud Stories podcast, a man wanted to marry a woman with assets — and he did. The guy came into the marriage with nothing, and in the divorce a few years later, left with $4 million in property. Attorney Jolee Vacchi explains what you need to know about property rights in divorce, and how to protect yourself from a scheming spouse. Resources Jolee E. Vacchi Foundations Family Law Practicing in Rhode Island and Massachusetts [email protected] 508-635-8965

After two divorces, “Patricia” knew exactly what she was looking for in a man, and with “Jeffrey,” she thought she found it. He served heroically in the military yet was tender and cuddly. He was a Christian who listened when God spoke to him. But slowly Jeffrey’s behavior changed, and his true nefarious intentions were revealed.

Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate their targets, and one of them is guilt. Mandy Friedman, LPCC-S, CCDVC, CCTP, a counselor who specializes in treating victims of abuse, wants survivors to know that guilt is a red flag. It may mean that you’re being manipulated now, or that you’re replaying old tapes from the past in which you were manipulated. Mandy explains how to figure out why you feel guilty and what to do about it.

When “Avery” married “Jonathan,” she thought she was marrying her best friend. On their honeymoon, he wanted her to buy a creepy stuffed goat head — the first of his many unreasonable demands. No matter how hard Avery tried to please Jonathan, he kept claiming she was causing his anxiety and he'll kill himself because of her. And then Avery learned the truth about her husband.

Travis Vining could no longer function in life. He suffered back pain, migraine headaches, weight loss and nosebleeds. Finally, in desperation, Travis asked if God were real, and if so, could He help. In time, Travis found recovery through acceptance and forgiveness. He also recovered repressed memories of why he felt so tormented — his father’s unspeakable criminal behavior.

“Kathy” was 17, bright, pretty, wealthy — and totally unaware that others might want to take advantage of her. She met “Rick” at church, and he saw a juicy target — a naïve young girl with money. He told her God wanted them to be together. Unfortunately, Kathy believed him.

Donna Andersen wants the world to know that millions of sociopaths live among us and do not have the ability to authentically love. She shared her message at a TEDx event in 2022 and her presentation was well-received. But TED never posted her video on its website, and never explained why. Donna even supplied an annotated script with scientific citations for everything she said. No response. Finally, she re-recorded the talk and posted it on Youtube. If you think her message is important, please share it.

Tracy Malone, author of the popular website NarcissistAbuseSupport.com, coaches people who are trying to divorce disordered spouses. One of the most important things people in this situation need to understand, she says, is that the person you married isn’t the person you thought they were. They will lie and make false accusations. So you need to be clear about what you want from the divorce, and make sure all the actions you take align with your goals. If you have children, you need a solid parenting plan, and Tracy has a program to help you. Resources NarcissistAbuseSupport.com ParentingPlans.org

“Janet” had five children with “Anthony.” Although she believed that marriage was for better or worse, the gaslighting, emotional cruelty and financial irresponsibility eventually became unbearable. Then one day the cops were called, she and the kids had a chance to escape.

Anyone can be targeted by a sociopath at any point in their lives. But Dr. Liane Leedom explains that men and women who experience abuse during mid-life have much to lose and often a more difficult recovery. She then describes skills that can help survivors overcome the experience.

“Mark” made false accusations against his wife, “Renee,” that landed her in jail. That was just the opening round —as they divorced, and even after their divorce, he continued to harass her. But Renee stood strong, escaped and turned her ordeal into an opportunity to show compassion to others.  Resources Information on California Assembly Bill 2391 protecting domestic violence victims from vexatious litigation: Cunningham bill signs into law, protecting domestic violence victims, in the Paso Robles Press California legislative information on AB-2391

At a high school reunion, “Renee,” a widow, encountered “Mark,” whom she’d once had a crush on. Mark convinced her that God had reunited them, so even though her gut was warning her to be cautious, Renee allowed herself to be caught up in the romance. But as soon as they married, Mark’s behavior became weird — and abusive.

Dr. Dan Jones, associate professor at the University of Nevada Reno, is an expert in the Dark Triad and Dark Tetrad personality traits. These are Machiavellianism, narcissism, psychopathy and sadism. Dr. Dan Jones explains how these callous and manipulative people operate. He also suggests how you may be able to use their own strategies against them, at least temporarily. Resources Dr. Dan Jones website: Dark Triad and Corporate Climate Lab Dr. Dan Jones email: djones2 at unr.edu Dr. Dan Jones TedX talk: How to recognize a master manipulator Biography of Niccolo Machiavelli on Britannica

Carlo Giovanni Malozzi has a history of exploiting women — Lovefraud has already done three episodes about him. When did this behavior pattern start? One woman was actually married to him more than 12 years ago, and in this podcast, she tells her story. She avoided the financial abuse that he inflicted upon his other targets. But what she did endure was worse.

In our last episode about Carlo Giovanni Malozzi, “My car broke down,” he’d conned a woman in Florida and then left the state. Next, he moved to Arizona, where he joined a church. Judith, a member of the church, met Carlo at a Christian singles event. He quickly charmed her, and then exploited her. She wasn’t his only target.

Joan Kloth-Zanard, an expert in the psychological abuse of children and founder of PAS-intervention.org, explains why parents need to be cautious about reporting child abuse. If there is no verifiable evidence, state child protection agencies may not believe the allegations, with dire consequences.

Christopher Lum of California was slapped with two domestic violence restraining orders and ordered to give up his guns. For years, he refused, and no officials did anything about it. But his ex-wife, Erin Lum, kept working to protect herself and her sons.

Christopher Lum of California said he was a Los Angeles Fireman, former military, a rescue diver — and at first, Erin bought it all. He drew her in, asked for her help, convinced her to have his child, and she was trapped. And then, Chris did the unthinkable.

Every moment, every experience, may offer us a gift. Dr. Denise McDermott, an adult and child psychiatrist, says that even though an abusive relationship with a sociopath is horrific, it can also be a great teacher. Once we get to the other side of the experience and alchemize the trauma, we may find a greater sense of awareness and self-love.

Lesly Plummer of England wants to protect her granddaughter, who is involved with a controlling man. So Lesly is telling her own story — she was married for 35 years to a man who was condescending and cruel. After leaving him, Lesly learned that there was a reason for his neglectful behavior, and perhaps a deeper meaning to her experience.

Recovery from a damaging involvement with a sociopath is possible. Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, says skills of Dialetical Behavior Therapy (DBT), such as mindfulness, that can help. Your goal is to lower your level of arousal due to stress, and she offers strategies that you can use right away.

Our ability to form relationships with each other is rooted deep in biological foundations. Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, explains four behavioral systems, involving both biology and psychology, that are crucial for our relationships: The attachment or affiliation system, the caregiving system, the dominance system and the sexual system.

Why does the silent treatment hurt so much? Why does the end of a relationship feel like withdrawal? What is cognitive dissonance? Why do targets of sociopaths lose the ability to think? In part 1 of this interview, Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, explains the effects of extreme relationship stress.

The romantic relationship “Jessica” had with “Luke” left her feeling confused and abused. As a result, she turned to substances and experienced suicidal ideation. Then Jessica spoke with “Susanna,” who was also involved with Luke — and who endured similar treatment from him. A weight was lifted — Jessica wasn't crazy and the relationship issues were not her fault. Luke was the problem.

All her life, “Susanna’s” greatest interests were psychological thrillers and cults. When she got away from her relationship, she realized that with Luke, she’d been living in one. Susanna wondered if his other women felt the same way, and reached out to his previous girlfriend, Jessica. Yes, their experiences were painfully similar, which helped them both in their recovery.

“Susanna” realized that her boyfriend, “Luke,” had two distinct sides to his personality — one side would never hurt her, and the other could. When things were good, she enjoyed the happiest moments of her life. But when they were bad, she collapsed into a puddle of tears — and Luke didn’t care. Slowly, painfully, she learned the truth about his manipulation.

For months, “Susanna” thought of “Luke” as only a friend. But when she was in need, he rescued her — and from then on, he was more than a friend. Their excursions were full of fun and laughter — but then, when they returned home, Luke withdrew. Had she done something wrong? Did he no longer find her attractive? Susanna could never get an answer, and she felt like she was losing her mind.

Your culture can still support you, even if you’ve left your country. Vjolca Capri, LMHC, QS, NBCC, draws on her Islamic faith and traditions as she works with clients. Expats may miss their homes and have difficulty putting down roots, she explains. What to do? Build a new tribe where you now live. Then draw on the support of your community to solve problems and make decisions — like choosing a marriage partner.

Con artists will take advantage anything, including faith, tradition and culture, in order to exploit their targets. “Mariam,” unfortunately, learned this the hard way. She met a prospective suitor on a matrimonial website who seemed to be exactly what she was looking for. In reality, it was a marriage scam. Everything he told her was a lie — he was psychologically, financially and physically abusive. But Mariam used his own tactics against him and escaped.

What is depression? Mandy Friedman, LPCC-S, CCDVC, CCTP, is a counselor who specializes in treating victims of abuse, many of whom feel depressed. She explains that depression is a neurobiological and chemical brain state — not necessarily something you can overcome simply through willpower. Mandy explains how she helps clients, and suggests steps you can take towards your recovery. To listen to the entire interview please become a premium subscriber.

In the conclusion to this story, “Melissa” finally learned that her boyfriend of seven years, “Kevin,” was a lying cheater throughout their relationship. As a result, she fell into severe clinical depression. But she was determined to not let this man crush her. She developed a three-step plan to take back her power, which contributed to her healing.

“Melissa” and “Kevin” dated for seven years. They bought a house together, and Melissa worked hard to turn it into a cozy home. But even though Kevin proclaimed his love and shopped for engagement rings, Melissa sensed something was amiss. Then she learned, to her horror, that her instincts were correct, and she became determined to take her revenge against the lying cheater.

Brad Robinson, a licensed private investigators, explains the shortcomings of online background checks. Yes, they are inexpensive. But they are also incomplete and can miss information that you need to know. Or, the information that turns up in your report may actually belong to someone else. Plus, the reports themselves can cause problems.

In a prequel to the ‘Let’s buy a Corvette’ episode, Carlo ‘Giovanni’ Malozzi met Kathy online. He kept calling her and sending her pictures, but just couldn’t seem to get around to meeting in person. Then he said he had an emergency and asked for Kathy’s help. His request led to much more than Kathy bargained for.

Giovanni Malozzi wasted no time in letting Linda know that he was interested in her. They met on Saturday, talked on Sunday and started dating on Monday. Linda interpreted his strong pursuit as a sign that he was seriously interested in her. She was correct, but not in the way that she imagined. Giovanni Malozzi had an agenda — for her and multiple other women.

Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Bridgeport, explains how trauma affects the brain. Stress causes the release of stress hormones, including cortisol. This impacts the immune system, creates toxicity and affects brain function. But, she says, indications are that brain injuries are completely reversible. She offers suggestions on what you can do to heal your brain.

“Tom” and “Amy” married in 1969, while they were both in college. Before the wedding, Amy admitted to Tom that she had not been faithful to him— in fact, she had affairs with three different men. But Tom was willing to let bygones be bygones and move forward together. Once they were officially a couple, he reasoned, his cheating wife would settle down. She didn’t, and Tom paid the price. Years later, he paid again.

How do you recover from profound betrayal and trauma? Dr. Denise McDermott, and adult and child psychiatrist, acknowledges each person, she says, experiences grief, loss and shock in their own way. The first step is to take care of yourself, which could mean finding the will to live. Then, Dr. Denise McDermott says to take it one day at a time, asking for the help that you need.

After more than 20 years together, Kimberly Lucas and her partner, Jacquelyn Jamason split up. Three months later, Jacquelyn, the biological mother of their two children, agreed to let Kim have them for a visitation on Memorial Day, 2014. Jacquelyn went on a kayak trip with friends. Kimberly Lucas was supposed to take the children to the zoo and the beach, but her real plans for the day were much more sinister.

Don Shipley, is an authentic Navy SEAL (retired). After serving for 24 years, including multiple deployments on SEAL Team One and SEAL Team Two, his mission now is to expose phony Navy SEALs, and he’s busted almost 50,000 of them. In this interview, he explains how he verifies whether a claim of being a SEAL is true or false, how he spots fake documentation, and the first warning sign that someone who says he’s a Navy SEAL is lying.

Alejandro Wickham was good-looking, smart, former military, single, no kids — and had a presence that Denise found appealing. After six weeks of dating, he humbly revealed that he had served as a Navy SEAL, and she was even more impressed. Alejandro Wickham decided to pursue powerlifting, and in only two years, became a champion powerlifter. They married, opened a gym together — and then Denise learned the shocking truth about her husband.