Whateva This Is!

 For a long time, hyper-independence felt like strength. When people disappoint you enough times, you learn to rely on yourself. You learn not to ask for help. You learn to solve everything alone.  But over time, that armour can turn into a wall. In this episode, I reflect on the years after my grandmother passed away—the last person I felt I could truly rely on—and how that loss quietly pushed me deeper into hyper-independence. I talk about: • why asking for help can feel like being a burden • how disappointment shapes the way we relate to others • the difference between resilience and isolation • and why learning to ask for small things again might be one of the most important forms of healing Hyper-independence protected me for a long time. But maybe the next stage of growth is learning how to let people show up for us. 

 December pulls us home with a lot of expectation — vibes, people, memories, fun 🎄✨ But sometimes you arrive and realise… things aren’t the same. And neither are you.  In this episode, I reflect on Dirty December, going back to Accra, and the quiet grief of outgrowing spaces. I talk about nostalgia, boundaries, rest, safety, money, and learning to enjoy home without turning it into a performance 🧳🫂. It’s about letting December be softer, slower, and more honest.  This is whateva this is — for the casually curious, for people going home, and for anyone learning to let things be different 🤍 Come sit with me.  #DirtyDecember #GoingHomeFeels #DiasporaLife #SoftReflections #OutgrowingSpaces #DecemberThoughts #CasuallyCurious 

On this episode of whateva this is 🎙️, I’m reflecting on the many “firsts” we all face — from swapping seats on a flight, to learning a skill, to big life changes like starting a new job or moving somewhere new. First experiences come with fear, excitement, and mistakes. But they’re also opportunities to learn, grow, and discover what you really enjoy — even if it doesn’t go perfectly the first time. This episode is a reminder: try anyway, laugh at the missteps, and celebrate your courage 🌱💛. For the casually curious, the overthinkers, and anyone learning to embrace life one first at a time. 🎙️ Episode: First Times 🎧 Link in bio. #whatevathisiz #CasuallyCurious #LifeUnfiltered #FirstTimes #PodcastClip #GrowthJourney #BerlinVoices #EmotionalRealness #TryAnyway

 I’m back on whateva this is 🎙️ to talk about the expectations we set for ourselves and the timelines we’re “supposed” to hit ⏳. From family pressure 👪 to personal milestones 🎯, life rarely happens the way we imagined it — and that’s not a failure, it’s growth 🌱✨.  I share a conversation with a friend that reminded me that joy isn’t measured by what you’ve ticked off a list ✅, and I reflect on how looking back 🔙 can sometimes matter just as much as looking forward 🔜.  Whether it’s career goals 💼, relationships ❤️, or personal achievements 🏆, this episode is a reminder: pause, reflect, and celebrate where you actually are 🎉.  For the casually curious, the overthinkers 🤔, and anyone who’s learning to live life on their own terms 🌟. 

A two-minute walk-and-talk on why chasing beauty in a culture that was never built to see you will only shrink what makes you unforgettable. In this short reflection, I unpack how beauty standards are shaped by history, culture, and power - and why you lose more than you gain when you trade your uniqueness for someone else’s “ideal.” 

What if healing isn’t a destination, but a messy group project you never signed up for?In this raw solo Q&A, I answer the kinds of questions that don’t always come with neat answers: Are you more afraid of heartbreak or being loved fullyHow do you know you’re healing and not just surviving in better lighting?What happens when you’re the emotional support friend… and you fall apart?And how do you unattach from people who only love your brokenness?This one’s vulnerable, messy, and honest — the kind of episode you’ll want to pause, replay, and maybe even journal after.Whether you’re in a soft girl era, survival mode, or somewhere in-between… welcome. You’re not alone in the untangling.—🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts🎙️ Leave a review or send in a question for a future Q&A

 Three weeks, two Beyoncé concerts, and one very fried brain later… I’m back! 😅 This one’s a voice note from the edge — unscripted, unfiltered, and deeply unserious (but also kinda real). I talk about: – Trying to be perfect 🎯 – Failing to record (again and again) 🎥 – Burning out and bouncing back 🪩 – Why sometimes, the podcast has to wait because… we outside ☀️🍷 If you’ve ever ghosted your own goals or felt stuck between doing the thing and living life, this one’s for you. Catch me rambling in a corner of my room, soft-launching imperfection. Let’s yap. Let’s live. Let’s go outside 🌍💅🏾 

 Altyn just turned the big 3-0, and we had things to say. From the chaos of our 20s to the calm (kinda?) of our 30s, we reflect on the glow-ups, the letdowns, and the weird in-between. 😅💅🏾 We’re talking friendship glow-downs, priorities doing backflips, and the kind of peace that only comes after a few emotional breakdowns in public bathrooms. 🚽🫠✨  What actually changes when you turn 30? What doesn’t? And why do hangovers suddenly last three business days? 🍷➡️🛌   Expect laughs, truth bombs, and “if I knew then…” wisdom wrapped in vibes. Whether you’re already 30, almost there, or clinging to your 20s with both hands—this episode is your gentle nudge (and side-eye) into the next chapter. 💁🏽‍♀️📦🔁 

In this episode, Elavisa and I take it waaay back to the wild world of African schooling — from the chalk-dusted classrooms to the chaos of punishments and the sting of the cane 🥲📏. We’re talking strict headmasters, creepy teachers, lunchtime gossip, and the silent rebellions that kept us sane. We cover the good, the traumatic, and the outright ridiculous: 👩🏾‍🏫 Teachers with god complexes 💔 First crushes you had to hide like contraband 🕺🏾 Skipping school for vibes and meat pies 👀 Being bullied and learning to fight back (with or without words) It’s funny, raw, and real — if you’ve ever survived an African education system, this one will have you laughing, nodding, and maybe even flinching a bit 💀😂 This is Part 1 — from Primary School to High School. University and after-school confessions drop next 🎓👂🏾🍿

This week on Whatever This Is, Deniz and I dive into the unexpected side of weight loss—losing friendships. From childhood dietitian visits 🍏📏 to shedding the Fat Funny Friend identity 😂➡️😶, we unpack why some friendships shift when the self-deprecating humor stops. Why do some people disappear when you stop making yourself the joke? And is it true that people get mean after losing weight? 🤔🔥 We get into the social side effects of body changes, the weight of confidence 💪🏾, and a little friendship therapy 🛋️💬 along the way. It’s raw, real, and a little too relatable. 

In Part 2, Elavisa gets real about the mess of dating while Black in Germany 🇩🇪. From cringe-worthy openers 🙈 to dealing with fetishization, biases, and stereotypes 💭, she shares the unfiltered truth behind the struggles. But amidst the chaos, there’s also love ❤️—and Elavisa opens up about how she navigated the ups and downs to find something real in Berlin 💫. It’s a rollercoaster of laughs, lessons, and some seriously wild dating stories 🎢💬.Catch the full tea as she spills all the details! 🍵🎬

In this episode, I sat down with Elavisa to spill all the tea on dating while Black in Germany. From awkward openers to straight-up fetishization, biases, and stereotypes, we get into the wild, weird, and sometimes wonderful realities of dating outside our culture. Elavisa shares her journey—from Kenya to Berlin, bad dates to ultimately finding love. But before the love story, there was a whole lot of mess. 😅💀This is Part 1—stay tuned for the rest of her story! 🎬🔥

The gym should smell like hard work and determination—not like expired onions and wet dog. 🤢💀 Some of y’all are out here deadlifting 100kg but can’t lift a damn washcloth. WHY?! 🚿😭 Let’s talk about gym hygiene, body odour, and why your personal funk should NEVER be part of anyone else’s workout routine.

This week on Whatever This Is, we're going international! I chat with Felix about the ins and outs of dating in Germany. From average first date ideas (beyond the beer garden!), to Berlin's unique winter dating scene (and summer break-up phenomenon!), we cover it all. We also delve into German texting and calling habits, the dreaded cemetery date, and essential red flags to watch out for. Plus, we discuss the tricky dynamic of friendships post-breakup. Get ready for a fun and insightful look at love, German-style!

Welcome to the first episode of Whatever This Is! In this episode, I sit down with @kasenteng to explore the emotions that often come with the post-Christmas and New Year period. We talk about the pressure of New Year’s resolutions, the feelings of being lost or stuck, and the importance of taking it easy on yourself. Whether you’re feeling the weight of the new year or just need a gentle reminder to breathe, this conversation is a relatable and encouraging way to start the year.