All Episodes
As Long As I'm Living — 209 episodes
At a Total Loss, an interview about grief podcasting with Katherine Lazar, Brody's Mom
5 Years Without Aiden
5 Years Without Quinn
Our 2026 Horoscopes: The Journey is the Destination
Two Truths and No Lies
ily
Gender Reveal: It's A....... Disappointment
Ask ALAIL: Will I ever be happy again?
Smorgasbord of Suffering
In Our Abundance Era
Welcome to the Club
A Judith Life Update
Ask ALAIL: Should I buy an Owlet?
An Alina Life Update (feat. Alive Baby)
Superlatives
Ask ALAIL: Should I co-sleep?
A Tough Pill to Swallow, a conversation about using psychiatric medication after traumatic loss
The Rules to Your Own Game, an interview about boundaries with "chaos coach" Jennifer Ventling
A Birth Day and a Death Anniversary
Happy To Be Here, an Alive Baby Birth Story
Loving the Gone, an interview with poet and griever Sara Rian
Another Mother's Day
Alive Baby!
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Leap of Faith
'Til Death Do Us Part (2), another interview about relationships after baby loss with Dr. Denise Mandel
'Til Death Do Us Part (1), an interview about relationships after baby loss with Dr. Denise Mandel
Take It or Leave It (Advice for Loss Parents)
Write to Grieve, part 2 of our interview with bereaved aunt Rochel
Love... Continued, an interview about creating new memories with our lost loved ones with bereaved aunt Rochel
Congratulations, and I'm Sorry (A Pregnancy After Loss Meltdown)
Measuring Time in Love and Loss
2025: Can We Get a B+ Year?
Where are YOU Now? (3 Years of ALAIL)
50 Shades of Gray Hair, an interview about grief-accelerated aging with dermatologist Dr. Lawrence Green
Invisible String
We Need a Minute
Where Are We Now? (3 Years of ALAIL)
Live with the Sad Dads Club (Insta Live Replay)
Abortion Access for All (A Rant Before the US Election)
Life Update: Something To Lose
The Circle of Loss, an interview about paying grief support forward with Marnina, Michal's Mom
Already a Mom
Bumpy Start, an Alive Baby NICU Story
Quinn is 4... and a big brother!
Shoulders to Cry On, an interview about infant loss support groups with Dr. Denise Mandel
Live Again from DC (Insta Live Replay)
Into the Lion's Den
When Your Pregnancy is Killing You, an interview about TFMR with Emily, Maliyah's Mom
Maliyah's Story, as told by her mom, Emily
One in a Million
A Tale of Two Sisters: The New Beginning, our final interview about shifting relationships after loss with Judith's Sister Ilana (3/3)
A Tale of Two Sisters: The Messy Middle, another interview about shifting relationships after loss with Judith's Sister Ilana (2/3)
A Tale of Two Sisters: The Long Goodbye, an interview about shifting relationships after loss with Judith's Sister Ilana (1/3)
With a Little Help From My (Baby's) Friends
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
Blessed Are They That Mourn, an interview about hospital chaplaincy with Presbyterian Minister Marcie Brozyna, Rumi's Mom
Death is Life-Threatening
Life Update: Alina's Infertility Era and Judith on Parenting After Loss
A Father's Grief Journey, a very special Father's Day interview with Aiden's Dad
Time Heals All Wounds
Long Story Short, I Survived
Judith is Pregnant, Alina is Not
I Think About You All the Time
We're Baaaaack!
Hello, Goodbye
ALAIL Recommends: How to Take a Really Nice Bath (We're On a Break)
ALAIL Recommends: Books For If You Can Read (We're On a Break)
ALAIL Recommends: Trash TV and Saltburn (We're On a Break)
ALAIL Recommends: Scrolling TikTok (We're On a Break)
ALAIL Recommends: Alina's Favorite Hate Watch (We're On a Break)
ALAIL Recommends: Youtube Travels (We're On a Break)
ALAIL Recommends: Taking a Break! (We're Taking a Break)
Wonder Woman, Revisited
The One Where Judith Made a New Friend, an interview with Judith's Friend Mel
2024 Is Going to Be Our Year!
Day in the Life - Christmas 2023
Crappy Birthday
May Their Memory Be a Blessing, another interview about religious support for grievers with Rabbi Antine
An Atheist and a Rabbi Walk Into a Cemetery, an interview about Jewish mourning practices with Rabbi Antine
i carry your heart with me
Resilience is a Muscle
The Dead Teach the Living, more about infant autopsy and death investigation with Ephina and Caroline
Pop Quiz! All About As Long As I'm Living (Happy Anniversary to Us!)
The Last Responders, an interview about infant death investigation with Ephina and Caroline
2 Steps Backward, 3 Steps Forward
Oxygen Mask, a conversation about the experience of communal grief amidst global trauma
An Incomparable Loss, an interview with Christine, Miranda's Mom
Sad Eyes, Broken Heart, Can't Lose (the Weight), a conversation about body image after baby loss
Dead Baby Birthday
From The Other Side Of The Stirrups, another interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 2)
The Stillbirth Specialist, an interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 1)
Grief Retreat 2023
My Big Fat Griefy Wedding
For When You're On the Floor
Loose Threads, a Conversation About Unrealized Dreams
Trauma, Blah Blah Blah
Day in the Life - Alina bought a house, Judith bought a drill
Egg(s) On My Face: Alina's IVF Journey, Part 1
More from Quinn's Step-Dad, another very special interview with Alina's new husband, Tyler
Love After Loss, an interview with Tyler, Quinn's Step-dad
Live Again From Boston! (Returning to Work, Alina's Wedding, Chit Chat)
The Cost of Loss, Part 2: The Aftermath
The Cost of Loss, Part 1: The Early Days
Grieving Out Loud
It Still Hurts, an interview with veteran loss parent Jami, Lev's Mom
Grief is a Rollercoaster... Strap In!
Here Comes the (Bereaved) Bride
There Are No Words, an interview with widow and greeting card maker Jess Walker of Five Dot Post
Happy For You, Sad For Me (On Pregnancy Announcements)
When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa
How Are You? (We're Back From Our Break!)
Advocacy (We're On a Break)
Episodes from the Floor (We're On a Break)
Hear from the Pros! (We're On a Break)
Return to Work (We're On a Break)
Grief 101 (We're On a Break)
There Are No Silver Linings, an Interview about Making Meaning in Grief with Dr. Denise Mandel
He's Still Dead
First Time Moms for the Second Time, More About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie
Good News About Bad News
Breathing After Loss, an Interview About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie
Bad News Travels
Bonus! Our Worst Episode Ever
Flying Over Denver
Why Me?
Live from DC! (Q&A Replay)
Meet the Rainbow Baby* Doctor, an Interview with Pediatrician and Loss Mom Dr. Laura Arling
We Reject Our 2023 Horoscopes
The One Where We Help Your Friends Help You
The One With a Friend Who Showed Up, an Interview with Judith's Friend Miriam
The One Where Everyone Did the Best They Could, an Interview with Alina's Friend Julia
We Are Not Okay
Medium
Will you do us a favor?
The One Where Judith Apologizes, an Interview with Judith's Friend Rachel
Holiday Survival Guide
The One Where Alina Needed Help, an Interview with Alina's Friend Leah
The One Where Judith's Friendship Changed, an Interview with Judith's Friend Julia
State of the Podcast (Happy anniversary to us!)
Unheard Interviews from the Cutting Room Floor!
Dead Bodies Aren't Decorations
What is Self Care, Actually?
Bruised, Not Broken (featuring classic Judith & Alina rambles, and some updates on Alina's heart)
Answers and Questions
A Rant About Paperwork
Quinn is 2
Would You Rather?
Opening a Time Capsule
(Loss) Mom Guilt
All About EMDR, an Interview with Trauma Therapist Rebecca Munini
Perfectly Normal
Consolation Prize
Still Breathing, an Interview with Katie Joy Duke
Judith LIVE on I Was Supposed To Have a Baby
I Can't Imagine
The Crossover Day
Green-Eyed Monster
Grief Needs a Witness, an Interview with Dr. Denise Mandel
Alive Baby!
Abortion is Healthcare
Calamity, an Interview about Race and Infant Loss with Emy Collins, Bash's Mom
Father's Day Wishes from the Sad Dads Club
The Sad Dads Club
Signs
A Picture Is Not the Same As Being Together
Bonus! Amateur Hour
There Is No Moving On, an Interview with Jennifer Su, Aeron's Mom (Returning to Work: Part 2)
Start Healing Together, an Interview with Jackie Mancinelli, Richard's Mom (Returning to Work: Part 1)
Butyrylcholinesterase
We Survived
Mothering a Grieving Mother, Interviews with Our Moms
TFMR Is Baby Loss, an Interview with Hadley's Mom Jill
Happy Days
Live From Boston
Marketing After Loss, an Interview with Elizabeth Minton
Big Feelings
Crisis of Faith
Maybe Baby? (Spoiler: Baby!)
Ready or Not
Parental Grief, an Interview with Dr. Goldstein of the Roberts Program
SIDS, an Interview with Dr. Goldstein of the Roberts Program
Loss in the Time of Corona
Q&A! Mommy Wars, Baby Names, and More
Baby Grievers
Empty Arms, an Interview with Carol McMurrich
Charlotte's Story, As Told By Her Mom, Carol
The Starling
Puppy Love
Grieving Together, an Interview with Aiden's Dad
Peeking Out of the Hole
One Year of Grief
The Cutting Room Floor
The Grief Button
Into the Planets
Happier New Year!
Meet Kaylee, an Interview with Quinn's (other) parent
Little Triggers Everywhere
This Episode is Stuffed
Aiden is 1
December 1st
November 30th
Gift Guide for Grievers
Wonder Woman
Wishing You A Tolerable Thanksgiving
Alina's Bad Day
The Audacity of Hope
Happier Ever After?
The Bottom